Miami Vice Season 4 Episode 12 The Cows Of October
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TVTranscript
00:00Anybody got anything yet?
00:15Not a...
00:16Not even a mouse.
00:25Look who's joined the party, boys.
00:30Come on, baby.
00:36That's it.
00:39There you go, good girl.
00:44She made the drop, boys.
00:46Go ahead and pick her up and wait until she's a couple blocks away.
00:49How long are we gonna wait for this guy?
00:51We won't wait long.
00:53Roxy's not about to let 20 T's or blow stay in that trunk much past dawn.
01:00What the hell is going on here?
01:12I'll go check it out.
01:13Cowboy Buffs knocked out cold.
01:15What is this?
01:17I'll go check it out.
01:18Cowboy Buffs knocked out cold.
01:19What is this?
01:20I don't know, but it's sure not Roxy.
01:22Oh, no, but that is.
01:23Hello, officers.
01:24Lovely night for a cattle drive.
01:25Don't you?
01:26What's going on here?
01:27I'll go check it out.
01:28Cowboy Buffs knocked out cold.
01:29What is this?
01:30I don't know, but it's sure not Roxy.
01:31Oh, no, but that is.
01:32Hello, officers.
01:33Lovely night for a cattle drive, don't you think?
01:37Oh, I do not believe this.
01:38I want to know who the hell this guy is and who let him in here.
01:40Oh, we're blown.
01:41We've been blown before.
01:42Hey, what's this?
01:43It's a bomb.
01:44Everybody's back.
01:45Oh, no, but that is.
01:46Oh, no, but that is.
01:50Hello, officers.
01:51Lovely night for a cattle drive, don't you think?
01:56Oh, I do not believe this.
01:59I want to know who the hell this guy is and who let him in here.
02:02We're blown.
02:03We've been blown before.
02:04Hey, what's this?
02:06It's a bomb.
02:07Everybody's back.
02:13Hey, what's this?
02:15Yeah.
02:16Hey, what's this?
03:48I knew it.
03:49In the cow population.
03:51What is it?
03:53Ball semen.
03:55Ball semen.
03:56Ball semen.
03:57Bull smart.
03:58Mm-hmm.
03:59There it is.
04:00There it is.
04:00That's my tank.
04:02That's my...
04:02Hey, Buckwheat, let me in, man.
04:05Let...
04:05Let me...
04:06You're supposed to be in the hospital.
04:08Hey, will you tell these guys it's all right?
04:10Guys, it's all right.
04:15It's defrosted.
04:17Now, what kind of people would let frozen bull semen thaw?
04:23Must be our warm hearts.
04:25Man.
04:26I come in from Texas with two tanks of gargantua semen to ship to my partner in Belize.
04:34One gets stolen, and the other gets ruined.
04:38Defrosted by the cops.
04:41Gargantua?
04:42Yeah, I named him for his, uh, equipment.
04:47Thousand units of tank.
04:50Hundred bucks a unit.
04:51Easy.
04:52A hundred grand for bull sperm.
04:55Yeah, and what am I doing?
04:57I'm just minding my old business.
04:59Sleeping in my truck by the agriculture department export place.
05:03And, uh, lucky us, we were right next door, huh?
05:06Yeah.
05:08I get bushwhacked.
05:09Well, I'll tell you what.
05:13Texas Rangers never would have let them little bitty spurns out of the corral.
05:18Us for dang sure.
05:24This is Agent, uh, Timothy Anderson from Washington here to let us know what happened last night.
05:29Great and utter expert.
05:31It's imperative that we locate this husbandry material.
05:34Husbandry material?
05:36Yeah, we gotta bring in every unmarried Holstein in Dade County.
05:41Now, the department is extremely interested in the recovery of the bull.
05:49Seaman.
05:51Unborn cattle wrestling, Lieutenant?
05:53Government needs a local ASI.
05:55Well, uh, what are we supposed to do?
05:58Uh, question happy cows with that, uh, sexual laughter club?
06:04For your information, most cows don't enjoy it.
06:08That's why they have such sad eyes.
06:10Now, milk from one of these animals is the most complete food in the world.
06:23Four-legged miracles, these animals.
06:25I was, uh, explaining to Mr. Cooper this morning, true beasts of beauty.
06:31Uh, you know, one of the first things you boys are gonna have to learn is how to pick up on animal disease.
06:40You gotta look for the glaze in the animal's eye.
06:42That, that, that can mean, uh, uh, fever.
06:48You gotta check for warts, abscesses, ringworm.
06:52You gotta be cautious with pus and fundus.
06:57You don't want to contaminate yourself.
07:00Uh, these, uh, animals also sometimes have gut infections.
07:05And watch out for loose bowels, diarrhea.
07:08That, that could be a sign of some infestation.
07:13Sounds great.
07:14Yeah, well.
07:16Paco, come here and show these two how to check out a cow for pregnancy.
07:22Oh, no.
07:31Gina, absolutely positively overnight.
07:36What have you got there, family photo?
07:39It's gargantua.
07:41It's Calvin's bull.
07:43You want to see it?
07:45I've seen Calvin's bull.
07:48Hey, man, this is the finest bull I ever had.
07:52Keyed him a whole operation.
07:55Well, they only lost one tank.
07:57Why don't you just go on back there and get a fresh supply?
08:03He's dead.
08:06Natural causes?
08:08Oh, he was servicing a heifer.
08:11He stepped in a hole, broke his leg.
08:14I had to sell him for slaughter.
08:16You mean he was, he died for love.
08:21Oh.
08:26Five dollars for a bull whip.
08:29Hey, kids, you gonna buy those whips?
08:33Are you gonna buy those, do you have five dollars for the, don't finger the whip?
08:37Get, get away from there with those snow cones.
08:39Don't be coming around here.
08:43Manny, Polaroid!
08:49Would you please hold this whip in a possibly suggestive position?
08:54Have a little fun with it, eh?
08:56Eh, reintroduce playtime in the bedroom.
09:00Oh, my, eh, eh, eh.
09:04This is Rojas.
09:07So you think that feller knows something about my stolen tank?
09:13Izzy's got his finger on the pulse of the underworld.
09:16Yeah.
09:16I have located the Texan and established surveillance.
09:21Very nice.
09:23You see, nice?
09:23I'll take that, man.
09:24Thank you very much.
09:26Come on down here.
09:26I'll talk to you a little bit.
09:29I'm doing a remake of Red River with the original dialogue in TAC.
09:36Look at this guy, Will.
09:39Who's he supposed to be, Randall Scott?
09:42I know, Howard Hawks didn't want to have the Duke guy,
09:46but that's how it goes.
09:47It's going to be low budget, but, uh, if you gave your...
09:50Hey, I'm for a bill!
09:55Give your name and number to Manny here,
09:57and we'll get in touch with you, huh, Manny?
09:59Get her name and her number, eh?
10:05Tobleros, got my work permit here somewhere, eh?
10:09I got my peddler's license renewed this year.
10:12I can get you a special rate on these for the police force.
10:17You got a line on any bull semen thieves?
10:20You got a line on 50 bucks?
10:22No, I'm only kidding.
10:23I ain't got your man.
10:25You do?
10:26Oh, yes.
10:26I know some very heavy cattle breeders who know this guy
10:30and say that he's getting into artificial insubordination.
10:34Well, I want you to go to your friend
10:37and tell him you've got an offer from an interested minor.
10:40Sorry, but I'm going to be busy the rest of the afternoon.
10:44Well, then maybe a certain parole officer
10:47would, uh, like to find out
10:50where his girlfriend spends her Friday nights.
10:52Got a quarter?
10:54It's not good for her.
10:55No, you got a quarter?
10:56I just plan to give back her self-esteem.
11:00Yeah, I got a quarter.
11:02Okay, all right, all right.
11:03I'll make a phone call for you.
11:07Here's a quarter.
11:10I have my own quarter.
11:16That's enough.
11:17Listen, Paco, just like I tell you on the phone.
11:20You sure he's cool?
11:21He's cool.
11:21He's a stand-up guy here, really.
11:23I'm going to walk away with your dumb fame in here.
11:36They have arrived.
11:42Come on, come on.
11:45I'm ready.
11:53Howdy, partners.
12:01You're busted.
12:03In the name of the United States government,
12:07I place you under arrest.
12:09With the tag on the ground,
12:10lay your hands against the truck.
12:12Uh, put your hands in the air.
12:15Who's shooting?
12:18Shots came from over there.
12:23There was not supposed to be any shooting here.
12:50What are the feds doing here?
12:53Anderson, you can call the A-team out.
12:55It's all over now.
12:57Gentlemen, all clear.
12:58The tank.
13:00Looks like our friend Paco
13:02was cowed by all the noise and split.
13:04What is it with this stuff?
13:07You're not clear to know that.
13:08Not clear?
13:11Hey, uh, Anderson,
13:12looks like you're an uncle.
13:13Monte Cristo.
13:19Monte Cristo.
13:20It's that Cuban pig, Rojas.
13:29Cuban intelligence?
13:32What could Cuban intelligence
13:34possibly be interested in here, huh?
13:36Miniature cows.
13:48Miniature cows.
13:52This gets better and better.
13:57Okay.
13:59This is a picture of gargantuan.
14:01Oh, this has got to be a gag, Anderson.
14:06I didn't know cows came that small.
14:09Yes, they do, detective.
14:11They do.
14:12And the U.S. of A plans to be
14:14in the forefront of bovine miniaturization.
14:16In India,
14:24I yield rice impervious
14:27to nuclear fallout.
14:29Bat guano power plants
14:31in Guatemala.
14:34Herring farms
14:35in the Dead Sea.
14:38The weight of people's hearts
14:39and minds is through their stomachs.
14:43Mouths and tongue.
14:44Well, it's a sentiment
14:48that Cuban intelligence
14:49seems to share, believe me.
14:51Senor Rojas and I
14:52have locked horns from Trinidad.
14:54Yeah, speaking of horns,
14:56when are you going to get off
14:57the red herring
14:58and on to the bull business, huh?
15:05Eyes only.
15:14Up to now,
15:16the dairy protein needs
15:18in the third world
15:18have been met,
15:19if at all,
15:21in powdered form.
15:22In times of drought,
15:23the results have been tragic.
15:25What you're seeing
15:26is the answer.
15:28Little bossies
15:29in their tiny teats?
15:31What do they put out?
15:32Evaporated milk?
15:34Try two-thirds
15:35the production
15:35of a full-size cow
15:37and one-tenth the acreage.
15:38The perfect,
15:39low-cost animal.
15:42So when did Rojas
15:43find out about
15:44Cowboy Calvin's
15:46big secret?
15:47Lesson number one,
15:48detective.
15:49In the intelligence community,
15:51there are no secrets,
15:53except the secrets
15:54that keep themselves.
15:59Okay.
16:00Oh, darn it, Stanley.
16:09I wish them cloak
16:10and dagger boys
16:11would butt the hell
16:12out of this.
16:13Are you afraid
16:14all that international
16:15goodwill is going to
16:16bankrupt you
16:17at the sperm bank?
16:18Goodwill?
16:20Stanley,
16:20there's some serious
16:22long clean
16:23to be made off
16:24of them little cows of mine.
16:27How serious?
16:29Do you know
16:29how many sperms
16:31can swim around
16:32on the head of a pen?
16:35I never looked.
16:37Millions, millions.
16:39So just think
16:40of how many potential
16:42cows is in that tank,
16:44see?
16:45I mean,
16:45that's at least
16:46one cow
16:47for every family
16:49in the entire team
16:52in the underdeveloped world.
16:54Unreal.
16:55Yeah.
16:56Waving at a buck a cow,
16:58that's a lot
17:00of voodoo love.
17:03You know,
17:04it's not that
17:05I don't have
17:06every confidence
17:07in the local law enforcement.
17:09It's just that
17:10I wouldn't be getting up
17:13on the off-side.
17:15It's just that I thought
17:21and Stan here
17:23agrees with me
17:24that you're the man
17:25to head up this posse.
17:27Well,
17:28I just started casting
17:30Red River Part 2,
17:32but
17:32I can always
17:35get my calendar.
17:37He's incredibly busy.
17:39Uh-huh.
17:42Well,
17:42if you wasn't busy,
17:44how would you go
17:45about contacting
17:46this, uh,
17:47Paco, uh...
17:49Hermosa?
17:50Hermosa.
17:51Uh-huh.
17:52Well,
17:52probably in the role
17:53of that
17:54neo-crypto...
17:55Whoa, whoa, whoa,
17:56whoa,
17:57bag man.
17:58Whoa.
17:59Whoa.
18:0175,
18:0380,
18:0482,
18:053,
18:064,
18:075,
18:08call that
18:0986,
18:105.
18:11All right.
18:12You tell Mr. Hermosa
18:1486,500
18:17for the return
18:18of my bull futures.
18:20No questions asked.
18:22We are totally
18:22simpatico,
18:24my friend.
18:26I guarantee
18:26that I can get
18:28your, uh,
18:30vitofluids
18:31returned to your
18:32personage
18:33faster than
18:35you can say
18:36less slew.
18:41You know,
18:42I knew you
18:42was a range
18:43rider
18:44the minute
18:44I laid eyes
18:45on you.
18:45Hey,
18:45didn't I say
18:46that about him,
18:47Stan?
18:51I got one
18:52question.
18:53Well,
18:53what's that?
18:56What's in it
18:57for me?
18:58Right,
18:58Iz?
18:58What's in it
19:04for me?
19:07Think
19:0886,500
19:09will get it,
19:09Stan?
19:10Ah,
19:10more than enough.
19:11If Hermosa's
19:12as low rent
19:13as Izzy is,
19:14of course,
19:1686,500,
19:17well,
19:18it's kind of...
19:20What?
19:22That's an odd number.
19:23Odd number?
19:24Yeah.
19:25Look,
19:26you're, uh,
19:26obviously a bright guy,
19:28but, uh,
19:29in the big city...
19:30I'm just a big hick.
19:32Well, no.
19:33Oh, yes,
19:34I am,
19:35damn it.
19:37Now,
19:38just go on
19:39and speak your piece,
19:40man.
19:41Well,
19:42we work with these
19:43fast operators
19:44all the time,
19:45and one thing
19:46you recognize,
19:48round numbers.
19:50Round numbers?
19:51Yeah,
19:52I mean,
19:52you never see a guy
19:53offer a bribe,
19:55say,
19:55$72 and change.
19:57It's always
19:57$100,
19:58$10,000.
20:01Or $100,000.
20:03Oh,
20:03but see,
20:05yeah,
20:05Stan,
20:06I mean,
20:06all I got on me
20:07is $90,000,
20:08because,
20:09you know,
20:09I didn't expect
20:10to get enrolled
20:11in some strange city.
20:13I didn't prepare
20:13for it,
20:14or...
20:15Yeah,
20:15well,
20:16I've got some
20:16savings
20:17I was gonna
20:18put into
20:19mutual funds,
20:21but with the
20:21markets are crazy
20:22and all,
20:23I'd be proud
20:26to invest
20:27in the future
20:28of a better world.
20:30No,
20:30no,
20:30I couldn't let you
20:31do that,
20:32see,
20:32because,
20:33well,
20:38I'd have to
20:38insist
20:39on one condition.
20:41What's that?
20:42And that's
20:43the jerk contribution
20:44entitled
20:45you
20:46to 2 per...
20:485...
20:495% ownership
20:51in TL Enterprises,
20:53because,
20:53see,
20:53I just assumed
20:55that you got
20:55something for your money
20:57instead of just
20:57letting me
20:58have it,
20:59you know,
21:00and besides,
21:01if you're gonna be
21:01standing behind me
21:03as an investor,
21:05I'd be honored
21:07if you was
21:08my partner,
21:09too.
21:10It's a deal.
21:13Good deal.
21:15How about
21:17Izzy's house?
21:17Boy,
21:18that place
21:18the dump
21:19and I ain't lad.
21:20you're not laden.
21:23Au revoir,
21:24Agent Anderson.
21:27Well,
21:27you're a tough
21:28little puppy
21:29to keep
21:29in the crosshairs,
21:30Isidore.
21:31I don't let
21:32the Johnson grass
21:33grow underneath
21:33my feet.
21:34Everything here
21:36is perfectly legit.
21:37Well,
21:38good for you.
21:39I guess that means
21:40you're ready
21:40to help the right
21:41side,
21:41huh?
21:41I salute
21:43the flag
21:44on your lapel,
21:45Agent Anderson,
21:46but,
21:46uh...
21:49But what?
21:52But,
21:52uh,
21:53I'm already
21:53engaged.
21:55Well,
21:56I have some friends
21:56in the INS
21:57that gave me
21:58some information
21:59that may help
22:00disengage you.
22:01Seems your
22:02immigration status
22:03is a little
22:03precarious.
22:06Ingrid and I
22:07had a very
22:07special relationship.
22:10She taught me
22:11how to use
22:11the bullwhip.
22:13It's a tragic
22:13coincidence that
22:14we were divorced
22:15right after I
22:16got my green card.
22:18Well,
22:19I've got two
22:20outstanding warrants
22:21in Puerto Rico,
22:23one in Guantanamo.
22:25Where have I
22:26heard this before?
22:27Okay,
22:27all right,
22:28all right,
22:28I will help you.
22:30I'll tell you
22:31right now,
22:31Hermosa knows
22:32how valuable
22:33that tank is.
22:36Hermosa?
22:38Si.
22:38You mean
22:39Rojas doesn't
22:39have that tank?
22:41No,
22:41Paco Hermosa.
22:42And he's
22:43not going to
22:44take a dime
22:44less than
22:45$200,000.
22:52$200,000?
22:54I could raise
22:54that.
22:56You'd be wrong,
22:57but no,
22:58$200,000,
22:59that's well
22:59within the purview
23:00of my authorization.
23:02All right.
23:05Might be more,
23:06though.
23:06I can't tell.
23:07Red River Productions.
23:14Si,
23:14this is he.
23:15This is Rojas.
23:16I have just
23:17received a fax
23:19from Havana.
23:22It seems
23:23you still have
23:24many outstanding
23:26warrants.
23:28Shall I read
23:29them aloud to you?
23:30No, no, no, no.
23:32That's okay,
23:34Comrade Rojas.
23:37I see
23:38you are interested
23:40in the amazing
23:40bull product.
23:42Well,
23:43I don't know.
23:45We are
23:46a nation
23:46of
23:47guard sharks.
23:49What?
23:52Give me the whole thing.
23:54Play along.
23:55Yes,
23:56I'll see
23:57what I can do,
23:58but it's going to
23:59cost you
23:59something in the
24:00neighborhood
24:01of
24:01$259,000.
24:10Oh, yes.
24:10Yes,
24:11well,
24:11there are
24:12many pros
24:13and cons.
24:14Yes,
24:15especially the cons.
24:18Uh,
24:18un momento.
24:19He wants to
24:20make the deal
24:21today.
24:22Yes.
24:23Yes,
24:23we can do that
24:24for you today.
24:25I will meet you
24:26alone.
24:28Yes,
24:29you have
24:30my word.
24:32You
24:33and Comrade
24:35Rojas
24:36and one
24:37billion
24:38unborn
24:39cows.
24:40Compact
24:43mini
24:43cows?
24:45Limousine
24:46sized cows
24:47for our
24:47commie creep.
24:51Two
24:52caros
24:52are
24:53Rojas.
24:53Oh, no,
24:54no,
24:54no,
24:55no.
24:55Oh, good.
24:55It's, uh,
24:57fine, fine.
24:58Okay,
24:58it's a beautiful
24:59winged, uh,
25:00sloop you got
25:01here, eh?
25:04I can't
25:05believe it.
25:0616 boats
25:07in an hour.
25:0915.
25:10We checked
25:11one twice.
25:12You're
25:12here!
25:14Rojas!
25:20Rojas!
25:22Ah!
25:24What's going on?
25:25Ah,
25:25I don't see
25:28any money
25:29here.
25:29Mira.
25:32Don't fool
25:32around.
25:34What the hell's
25:35going on?
25:36on the
26:05what the hell are you doing hey nice going mr covert operation obviously you two have a little
26:20to learn about the chess like interaction of international intrigue yeah like what like the
26:26fact that our side just won a major battle in the cold war of animal husbandry mr rojas just
26:32bought himself a load of our deluxe oversized gun joys you're welcome who is this guy here's gratitude
26:45for you i thought you already anderson tried to pull a big gun on you the tank is bogus i was just
26:58the bag man let me down please hey why don't you tell me who you're really working for
27:11i i can see there's no eastern block translation for the kind of free market
27:21entrepreneurialism i'm getting dizzy oh huh so you are a capitalist pig who'll do anything for
27:31money uh no it's more of a uh informational process you know very distinctly sought after talent in this
27:40most inhospitable world where you got actually not as inhospitable as la cabana
27:49la cabana uh la cabana you know that's that's not me you're you're thinking of somebody else that
27:57he's not me it's really not me i mean i've heard of la cabana but i've never spent any time
28:03asking did she work out with weights or something
28:07he saw or francisco moreno crimes against the revolution define la revolution plantado
28:20idiot no media says or me either way i go home with the spoils of capitalism
28:30you or the mini cows maybe i'll take both
28:37so who has my tank
28:41actually works for the usda okay okay what's for us agents no no no no it's just a opportunistic
29:01capitalistic you know sibling actually uh you you you know he's just he's trying to make
29:11ah may make a name for himself he's uh he's already entertaining an offer from that overgrown texas
29:20bootstomp that sodbuster who has made a bid for the tank of two hundred and fifty nine thousand
29:29dollars sure you are of course to outbid him three hundred thousand
29:42this briefcase is bought and rigged to detonate
29:51on my command
29:52uh source to protect you from your socially inbred tendencies of greed
30:05any deviation from my instructions
30:09and uh we will be forced to abort you and your mission
30:22uh
30:39any chance of this going off by mistake
30:41you're gonna need case 22 so ladies
30:54hi calvin hi
30:57they told me these was the last two in the entire state of florida
31:01oh that's nice thank you thank you calvin well you're welcome it's kind of hard to come by i'm uh so far from texas
31:15that's sweet
31:17well it it seemed like the least i could do after the time we had last night
31:22you check out romeo back here
31:27ancient pangs of uh jealousy service department get out of here this guy's putting on a road show
31:35yeah well i think he's already uh closed the sale on jim
31:43ain't the five she sees right through him
31:47you sure you want to make that bet
31:52maybe you guys could take some notes here
31:58kind of nice color on you
32:03thanks but we just pull his file
32:15come on
32:19oh
32:22come on
32:25come on
32:27come on
32:29got him
32:34yes
32:35paco quito hold on
32:46oh
32:48oh
32:48oh
32:48oh
32:49oh
32:50oh
32:50What is it?
32:55I don't know. He's breaking up.
33:00Paco, hey.
33:02Yeah, listen, the Cubans have come up with a better offer.
33:07Yeah.
33:09Yeah, it's about, uh...
33:11Three, uh...
33:13It's about, uh, 275,000.
33:22Izzy just cut a deal for Rojas to sell the tank for 275,000.
33:30All these people prospering off of my hard work.
33:40Oh, fuck yeah.
33:41It's gonna be a tetraso, today, near the Albandegas Bridge.
33:48And listen, bring that bull yismo, si como no?
33:51Oh, fuck yeah.
34:01Oh, fuck yeah.
34:09Oh, fuck yeah.
34:12Oh, fuck yeah.
34:16What's the counters of the weird giant?
34:46Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
35:16I can't believe it.
35:18Of all the people in the world to be entrusted with, the forefront of bovine miniaturization.
35:26Izzy!
35:30Who's there?
35:32Me, man!
35:35Who are all these light freaks?
35:37I don't know, man.
35:38You got the money?
35:39Yeah.
35:39Hey, see here.
35:41Be careful of the blinking red light.
35:42That'll be your cue.
35:43You got the stuff?
35:44Yeah, it's right here.
35:45Let me see.
36:01Let me see.
36:05Come on.
36:06The tank's got to make it back to the ranch.
36:09You really care for this, don't you?
36:12No.
36:13No, I just hate to see a good old boy get the shaft.
36:16That's all.
36:16Not so fast, my capitalist friend.
36:32What we need here is a salt-like data nuclear disarmament.
36:37No way.
36:39Those miniature cows belong in the free world.
36:42Why does Anderson always show up at my drops?
37:12Huh.
37:14I should be martinized for trying to prevent WW3.
37:19Get up, bonehead, before we martinize you right into the ground.
37:23Where's the money, Izzy?
37:29Rojas is going to kill me.
37:31You think I double-crossed him?
37:34You got to help me get into a federal protection program.
37:37Let me shoot him, okay?
37:39Huh?
37:40Can I shoot him?
37:41I got a round in here.
37:43Sure I do.
37:50Bunko Division, Los Angeles.
37:54Bunko Division, Denver.
37:57Land Fraud Division, State of Louisiana.
38:01Who's that?
38:02Cowboy Cal, a.k.a. Chuck Teasdale, Clyde T. Rose, Calvin Tuttle.
38:16Calvin?
38:18Yeah.
38:21Sorry, Gina.
38:23That miserable ten-gallon rat.
38:25Well, if it's any consolation to you, he took a couple of investment bankers for about a hundred grand in a phony mutual funds a couple of years ago.
38:48I got off on a technicality.
38:51A hundred grand.
38:56Nice, round number.
38:58A hundred grand.
39:15Who is here?
39:17It's Calvin.
39:19Calvin.
39:21Yes.
39:21The key is under the map.
39:24Hey, man, pay attention.
39:26I'm gonna show you how to get rich.
39:28My immediate sense of distrust is temporarily overcome
39:32by the need for finances to blow down.
39:36May the, uh, wind always be at your back?
39:41For a hundred years.
39:46Look here.
39:48No!
39:50No, I any more alleged perpetrations
39:53and I lose all semblance of credibleness.
39:55Oh, hey, relax, man.
39:57All them other tanks was fake.
39:59Now, this here is a real enchilada.
40:01I mean, you're looking at 400 tiny thundering hoots.
40:06Hey, you didn't think I was really gonna part
40:10with the genuine bull sauce.
40:13Did you?
40:15Ah!
40:17Mr. Thiel.
40:20You're a credit to the free enterprising vertebrates
40:24of this planet.
40:26Ah!
40:27Well, you damn right I am.
40:30So as I see it, we got a perfect opportunity
40:34to employ your God-given talent.
40:38The telephone is my instrument.
40:48I was born to play it.
40:51Just like Mozart was born to play the piano.
40:57Well...
40:58Mr. Charlie.
40:59Ha!
41:00Drives a lot of ballplayers way be loco.
41:01Hola!
41:02Hello, this is...
41:03This is Anderson.
41:06Ah, yes.
41:07By a strange security's route,
41:08the actual bull seaman has found its way into my possession,
41:09and I wanted to give you first dibs.
41:12We are opening the bidding at, say, half million.
41:15Moreno.
41:16Is that you?
41:17Listen, you...
41:18Cuban cockroach.
41:20If you've got the genuine tank, you better fork it over right now
41:46Uh, could you please hold Rojas?
41:49Ah, buenos dias, Comandante.
41:52Trading in mini-cow futures is open again,
41:55and I'm entertaining a bid from Agent Anderson
41:59of the Federales for five-and-a-half points U.S.
42:04Que cosa mas grande!
42:06Oyeme Moreno!
42:08Marielito Trash!
42:10How dare you negotiate with the People's Republic of Cuba!
42:14Fish or cut bait, I got Washington on the other line.
42:18So, how do you open, uh, Andy?
42:22Why should I believe anything a fruit fly like you, SSA?
42:25Cause he's got the tank, that's why.
42:28And if you don't start adding on zeros real fast,
42:32them baby bulls gonna be moving en espanol.
42:36Okay, okay. I'll go $5.50, but I want Moreno's skin
42:41hanging from the wall of the Earl Butts conference room
42:43when it's over.
42:44Yeah, yeah.
42:45Which reminds me, amigo...
42:47Ten percent.
42:4830.
42:4920.
42:50Done. You're at $550,000.
42:52Please hold.
42:53Do you get that?
42:55What I get is $300,000 of my QN money!
43:01And for every additional dollar...
43:04It will be one pound of your flesh!
43:07Me Hoyas Moreno!
43:09I see. Well, I cannot let personal endangerment
43:12conflict with Keynesian economicos.
43:15Going once. Going twice.
43:19$600,000!
43:22Ah!
43:23Cube is six.
43:24Gringos, 5.5.
43:26Top of the A.
43:27Seven.
43:28Conference room.
43:30Moreno.
43:32Moreno.
43:33Los Cabanas, the number on the table is seven.
43:38Repeat the law.
43:39Seven.
43:40Eight.
43:41Nine.
43:42One million.
43:44U.S. Dollars.
43:51Senor Anderson.
43:53O2 count.
43:55Bottom of the ninth.
43:57We are waiting.
44:01Listen, we took a big budget hit this year.
44:04We, uh...
44:06We're not prepared to go that high.
44:09Sure.
44:10The capitalist running docks fighting the stretch.
44:15Selling these bulls to the communists is...
44:19It's downright non-American.
44:23Oh, listen, federal breath.
44:25If you can sell cola to the chai comms,
44:28I can sure sell cows to Castro.
44:31Adios!
44:33Hello?
44:36Hello?
44:39Hey, congratulations there, Senor Rojas.
44:42You just got yourself a full quart of half-pint short-horn studs.
44:46Now, I want that money delivered in unmarked, unused,
44:50unconsecutive fifties and hundreds,
44:53dropped off to my little buddy who's gonna be boating along the Miami River
44:57sometime between noon and six today.
44:59You got that?
45:00Cierto que si.
45:01But don't cross me.
45:04No way, Jose.
45:09Muy bien.
45:11Yeah.
45:12He-he-he.
45:13No way.
45:14No way.
45:15I'm out of control.
45:16No way, Jose.
45:17Yeah.
45:18He-he-he.
45:19A-he-he.
45:20No way.
45:22Oh, yeah.
45:24No way.
45:26And they're dead.
45:27I was for the most part in the world.
45:28No way.
45:29No way.
45:30And they're dead.
45:31They're dead.
45:32They're dead.
45:33They're dead.
45:34And they're dead.
46:05Give me the damn tank.
46:16Yo, Rojas will kill me.
46:19With Rojas, this snow won't hurt him.
46:21Let's go.
46:26Oh.
46:31Give me the damn tank.
46:36Merry Christmas.
46:40Gracias.
46:41Merry Christmas.
46:46Merry Christmas.
46:46Merry Christmas.
46:51Merry Christmas.
47:03Oh, my God.
47:33It's not bugged and rigged, is it?
47:42How?
47:43Oh, the radius.
47:47Ah, good.
47:48Have a nice flight back to Kilwell, okay?
47:51Just give me a push up there, all right?
47:54And I'll be all right.
48:03Oh, my clockwork.
48:09Si.
48:10Clockwork de naranja.
48:12Hey, listen.
48:13I'm a little paranoid of Rojas, so if I could just get my 20% out, take it with me and withdraw
48:22to sunny clients.
48:23Well, fast money always pays first.
48:24Oh, yes.
48:25Well, it's too bad, cuz I was planning on introducing you to some permanent wealth.
48:30Permanent wealth, huh?
48:31What do you mean, the M-word or the B-word?
48:33I mean, so much money, your children's children.
48:34Couldn't even spend a lot of money.
48:35I mean, the M-word or the B-word.
48:36I mean, so much money, your children's children.
48:37Couldn't even spend a lot of money.
48:38I mean, the M-word or the B-word.
48:39What's that?
48:40What's that?
48:41These are side contracts.
48:42Good job.
48:47You're not a money man.
48:48You're not a money man.
48:50Well, you're not a money man.
48:52You're not a money man.
48:53Here's what's the money man.
48:54That's right.
48:55Up on my page, you're a business man.
48:57You're not a business man.
49:00But, well, we're not a business man.
49:02What's up, Steve?
49:03I'm not a business man.
49:08signed contracts with the saudis for 20 tanks of bull semen man you know how much them arabs
49:16crave milk i mean this paper alone is worth billion five and uh i've been getting inquiries
49:26from all over the entire islamic world now i was planning on cutting you in for 10 off the top but
49:38uh but what well see high finance is a game for men with a certain kind of confident view of life
49:53and and and you got all you can do to hang on to your little bitty green card well hey you know
49:59i understand that i mean go on take your 200 000 and scoot of course uh by the time
50:08i deliver on that paper i'm gonna be dropping 200k on tits wait a minute wait a minute now
50:18if you're really serious about bringing milk to the desert i am i wouldn't mind getting in on the
50:28ground floor of some of this honey you're sure
50:32it's not the ball detector now that's what i call taking the long view moreno
50:44now i want you to hang on to these okay now you put them in a safe place
50:54and keep them there and uh see i got a 7 pm flight to dubai i got a catch
51:04i'm gonna cable you from there okay okay well uh yeah i'll keep this in the safe place let me write
51:09done with you huh that's okay i'll be right in front of you buddy you take care now okay wait a
51:15sec hold the elevator for me will you i'll tell the doorman you're on your way
51:23sonny
51:26well yeah come on in man come on you want some champagne hey hey is he give give man some uh champagne
51:39what tipped you
51:53this
51:56you know i started looking at this picture there are a few things in here that bothered me
52:03so i sent it over to photo analysis
52:05and had them take a look at it it's a it's a composite
52:14see the um the shadow
52:19from his leg here is from a picture taken at 12 o'clock noon
52:26and the shadow on the bowl here is from a picture taken after five o'clock
52:31very nice
52:37and paco hermosa
52:42has been working for you from the beginning and you are good
52:47i swear man you are real good be a cold day in july before someone put one over on you
52:53look i i'm gonna take a wild stab here to an explanation you you can just tell me how it fits
53:04now what's in that briefcase there belongs to me and izzy
53:11yes that's good either shut up because i mean we sold that bull sperm to the cubans
53:19and they paid us for it coin of the realm fair and square
53:25and and what what's in that briefcase there where it it's ours
53:32geo politics ain't really my thing cowboy however i am a little put off about uh the way you tried to
53:44burn my friends well i am sorely ashamed of that so i suggest you come up with a real good reason why
53:51i shouldn't haul your ashes in to stir right now
53:57uh oh well okay now you know that tank of mine
54:05that wasn't real stuff well sonny there never was no real stuff no there's only about 19 of them
54:13little suckers they're off on some ranch in mexico somewhere see sonny i never did break a single law
54:25now the cubans paid for something that they perceived as valuable it was anderson switched the tanks i held up
54:35my hand you got the money ain't no harm being done is that is that the uh harm that rojas gonna do me
54:48once he finds out that uh that he's been hosed so sonny i am asking you as a southerner and as a gentleman
54:59to let my behind go
55:05you really think i'll let you just stroll out of here
55:18uh well
55:22i'd be obliged
55:24the money stays
55:43i'm not gonna regret this sonny this is a true agri christian charity tell y'all i want you to tell
55:49i'm standing gina i'm gonna make it right with them just as i get back on my feet
55:55where the hell do you think you're going hud
56:00it's muy simpatico
56:02you know we got in there don't you letters of transit it's time to get out of casa blanca man
56:14this ain't the beginning of a beautiful friendship is when i hit it big it's gonna
56:23be because i picked the right six numbers in the lottery not because i formed a joint venture with
56:30some castroid reject fleece artist
56:36i'm beginning to smell a waitress on you partner
56:40yeah well this is gonna go to the fallen policeman's fund
56:44look let me just say goodbye to the boys you know franklin and grant and all the others i mean i
56:52i think i really got to know them well in the short time that we were together
56:56please
57:06what time does his plane leave seven now of course in alice springs we don't yet have
57:12the pressing need for the many cars because we still got a lot of space
57:16but you lot when you take over in hong kong in another few years why i i reckon you've got to
57:23utilize all the space you got so let's start the pilot project now and then uh thank you another
57:30few years you'll have a little herd of cows on every rooftop in kowloon now uh have a look at
57:37that little bugger hey he's no bigger than a wallaby you know we're developing the dwarf clover
57:42so that you'll be able to feed him right out of your window box
57:53so
58:00so
58:06so
58:12Transcription by CastingWords