King Of The Hill Season 1 Episode 9 Peggy The Boggle Champ
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TVTranscript
00:00Now, men,
00:28the game of boggle is really quite simple.
00:31The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes.
00:36Oh, yeah!
00:38Ba-mi-tam-yam.
00:40It's got to be a real word, honey.
00:42Yes, ba-mi-tam-yam, Thai spicy noodle soup.
00:46Tasty and delicious.
00:50I tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday playing that boggle.
00:56Oh, it's a beautiful day.
00:59She ought to be outside hanging my laundry.
01:02Sunday, Sunday, and Saturday.
01:05It's the 9th Annual Dallas Mower Expo.
01:08Be there as the biggest names in mowers,
01:10hedgers, and clippers unveil the latest in grass-cutting technology.
01:14Thrill to the awe-inspiring spectacle of the snapper precision mowing team.
01:17See, King Maltz, take on a Texas-sized pile of twigs.
01:22Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold.
01:26Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo.
01:28Be there!
01:32Pad-tide doesn't count, men.
01:34Well, I guess I win again.
01:36Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know could fill a dictionary.
01:40You know, the Elks are having a boggle tournament to raise bail money for their treasurer.
01:46Maybe you should enter.
01:48Me?
01:48Oh, fish.
01:49I just play for fun.
01:51Men, you owe me $13.
01:53Thank you for a boggle lesson, Piggy.
01:56Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
01:59Bring your checkbook.
02:01Hank, I'm thinking of entering a boggle tournament over at the Elks.
02:05Boggle?
02:06Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar.
02:09Are they still playing that game where the cow's got to drop dung in a square?
02:15Boggle is nothing like cow bingo, Hank.
02:18Boggle is a game of wits.
02:20Now, cow bingo is a game of strategy.
02:27Oh, yeah!
02:32All right, Piggy, I replaced my watch battery, ate a Cinnabon, and bought a P-trap.
02:38I can't kill any more time.
02:40Let's go.
02:41Shh, Hank, it is only round five.
02:44Oh.
02:46Hmm.
02:47Impatient.
02:51Okay, that's time.
02:53Pencils down.
02:54Let's tote them up.
02:55Oh, I hope you don't mind, but I only used words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
03:00Oh, little sick boy, would you like for me to find your name in the next boggle?
03:10Uh-huh.
03:10Okay.
03:12Oh, yeah!
03:13Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
03:17I guess that's why they call her your better half.
03:21Who calls her that?
03:22They.
03:25And I hope that your leg gets better real soon, Zachary Quinn, Jr.
03:31Oh, my goodness, congratulations.
03:40You won, Mom.
03:41Looks like someone's gonna have to clear some room on his trophy shelf.
03:46Easy, Peggy, that's my MVP trophy.
03:50Mom's trophy's bigger than yours.
03:52Oh, Pooh, I don't care about the trophy.
03:56The real honor is getting to represent Arlen in the State Boggle Championship.
04:01You're going to state?
04:02Oh, that's so exciting.
04:05Just like when Uncle Hank went to state for high school football.
04:09Oh, yeah, it's exactly like that, Luanne.
04:12Oh, well, it might not be football, but there are over 200 competitors,
04:17and you're allowed to bring a coach.
04:19Hey, you want to be my coach?
04:21A boggle coach?
04:23What would I do?
04:24Well, Hank, you don't have to do anything.
04:25You just have to be there.
04:27Unless you want me to go off to Dallas by myself.
04:30Dallas?
04:31I don't want you going to Dallas at all.
04:34That place is crawling with crackheads and debutantes,
04:38and half of them play for the Cowboys.
04:41Oh, come on, Hank.
04:42It's just for the weekend.
04:43We'll be back on Sunday.
04:45Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
04:49Guess who's going to the mower show?
04:52And if you guess right, you can come with me.
04:54It's you.
04:55Right?
04:56Did I win?
04:57Yep.
04:58Am I going?
04:59Boy, how'd you manage to swing that with Peggy?
05:02She don't like mowers like we like mowers.
05:06Simple.
05:07I found a boggle tournament in Dallas to keep her busy while we have some real fun.
05:12Check it out, man.
05:13Talk about a road trip up at that big D motel, man.
05:15You don't have to talk about the biggest names in mowers, edges, and clippers.
05:19Be there.
05:20Man, it's going to be fun.
05:25Let's go, Peggy.
05:26We got to get to Dallas before the gangs wake up.
05:30Hank!
05:31Shh!
05:32It's 4 a.m.
05:34Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy?
05:36I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep and then write a paper on it.
05:40In a minute, honey.
05:41Now, it is very important that we know we can trust you two.
05:47Now, no parties while we're gone.
05:49Okay.
05:51Bye-bye.
05:53On behalf of the Arlen Boggle Boosters,
05:58I'd like to present you with this jacket.
06:02Good luck, Peggy.
06:03W-I-M.
06:04I promise to make Derrick King, Mr. Lube, and Rivera Sump Pumps proud.
06:11This weekend, Peggy Hill is going to put Arlen, Texas on the map.
06:15Okay, Peggy Hill.
06:17Good luck and maybe goodbye.
06:20Maybe.
06:20Where I come from, either you come home a winner or you not come home at all.
06:25Good luck, Peggy Hill.
06:26Goodbye.
06:28Goodbye.
06:28Goodbye.
06:28Okay.
06:58watching? Risky Business?
07:01Luann, that movie's got bad words in adult
07:04situations. Not anymore.
07:07I rented it at Blockbuster.
07:09I also got a fire safety video starring
07:12Chuck Mangione. Want to watch?
07:15No, thanks. I'm kind of in the middle of doing
07:18laundry. Okay, but remember,
07:22Chuck says always unplug your iron
07:25after use. Thanks for the tip.
07:28It's okay, honey. Valet parking is
07:40included in the price of the room.
07:42I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
07:45He's just itching to take my truck for a joy ride.
07:53Oh, hi.
07:58Oh, it's lovely. Look at that.
08:05Oh, look, everyone. It's Peggy Hill, Bagel
08:09Champ of Ireland, Texas.
08:10I'm Joan, Bagel Hospitality Coordinator. Here's your tournament tote bag, a schedule of events, and a Bagel lay.
08:25Oh, Joan, this is my husband, Hank. Wonderful. We have tons of activities to occupy your time while Peggy plays Bagel.
08:37You look like you could use a wallet. Would you like to make a wallet?
08:41Uh, I don't think so. Harley Davidson already made one for me.
08:47Hank is not just my husband. He is also my coach. Oh, well, then you'll be needing one of these.
08:54Come on, Peggy. There's a Parker brother I want you to meet.
09:01So take it from me, Chuck Manjoni. Unplugging the iron feels so good. Can you dig it?
09:11Bobby, wait. Use a coaster.
09:19Uh-oh.
09:20What have you done? That coffee table is trashed. Your parents trusted us, Bobby, and we let them down.
09:32They won't be home for 48 hours. I'll think of something.
09:37Hey, I got it. You think of something.
09:41Checking in. The name's Hank Hill.
09:46Nope. I have a Peggy Hill.
09:49Yeah, that's it. Hank and Peggy Hill.
09:51I have a Peggy Hill.
09:53She's my wife.
09:55Oh, okay. Um, Mr. and Mrs. Peggy Hill.
09:59Now you listen to me. The name is Hank Hill. Mr. Hank Hill. Peggy married me. I didn't marry her.
10:10What are you looking at?
10:11Oh, look, Peggy. It's Sissy Cobb. Baggle champion of Dallas for seven, nine consecutive years.
10:22Oh, uh, excuse me. Sissy, I am fellow Baggle champ Peggy Hill.
10:29My, my. What an interesting jacket.
10:31Did you patch that together yourself?
10:34Well, actually, it was given to me by the Arlen Boggle boosters. They got local businesses to sponsor my trip.
10:41Oh, how exciting. Why, you're at the very beginning of a rags-to-riches story.
10:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:56Okay. The guy at Home Depot said all we gotta do is strip, sand, varnish, buff, varnish, buff, varnish, wax, buff.
11:07Oh, God. Your parents are gonna be home in 47 hours. Hurry.
11:13No!
11:13No!
11:13No!
11:14That was close.
11:24Why, hello there, Peggy Hill. Name's Burnett. Sissy Cobb's husband slash coach.
11:33Uh, actually, my name...
11:35You don't have to explain. I got an uncle named Leslie. And the Duke himself, John Wayne, was really named Marion.
11:42You take that back.
11:46This thing's not coming out. I'm gonna put it on high.
11:56Ah!
11:56Oh, Hank. I have dreamt of this moment ever since I reached ages eight and up.
12:16Yeah. So I'll see you at dinner. I gotta get to the mower show.
12:20Well, you can't leave now. You are my coach. I need you. You of all people should understand, I am at state. This is my moment. You know, when I close my eyes, I see myself in the winner's circle, and you are right there next to me. My coach. My man.
12:42And we drive back to Arlen, and we drive back to Arlen with that big-ass boggle trophy mounted on the hood of your old truck like some beautiful gold-plated, bare-breasted Rolls-Royce angel.
12:55Well, when I close my eyes, I see myself at the mower show. And you're there, too. Like some beauty queen of yore, wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
13:13All right, I'll stay.
13:15Coaches, please clear the gaming floor.
13:18Oh, I forgot. Coaches have to watch from a closed-circuit TV room. Hold my purse.
13:48Well, hello, Patches. You must be here for your boggle lesson.
13:58Bogglers, take your marks.
14:03Oh, yeah.
14:04Oh, yeah.
14:18Oh, yeah.
14:30Huh.
14:32Vowel cubes are running cold.
14:34Uh, Coach's note. It's a good day for sometimes Y.
14:39Hey, Cobb, for $7.50, I can ride the mower that cut the grassy knoll.
14:44Pshh! Patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster.
14:51Sissy Cobb, 73 points. Peggy Hill, your words, please.
14:58Um, dang?
15:00Ha ha ha! Dang is not a word, that's just some backwoods patois.
15:07Winner, Sissy Cobb, 73 to 0.
15:12Dang.
15:13Dang.
15:14I am so stupid.
15:23Oh, you're not stupid.
15:26Heck, you're smarter than me.
15:28Oh, big deal.
15:30Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
15:32Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Ireland.
15:35Well, whoop-dee-doo.
15:37I am the smartest hillbilly in hillbilly town.
15:42I'm trying, Peggy. I just, hey, you know, Coach used to say something that would fire us up when we were behind.
15:52Yeah? Yeah? What?
15:55Loser! You're a loser!
15:57Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
15:59Well, you should be, because you are dirt!
16:02You make me sick, you big baby!
16:05Baby want a bottle?
16:06A big dirt bottle?
16:08Why are you yelling at me?
16:11Uh, well, I'm trying to be your coach. I, it's, it's inspiring.
16:18Well, thank you, because I feel worse than ever.
16:23Well, it worked for the team.
16:26No, it didn't. You went to state and lost.
16:30Oh, jeez.
16:32I think I need one of those $8 beers.
16:39You were right, Hank.
16:41I am a loser.
16:44I am $2.55 out of $2.56.
16:47Oh, come on, now. You're still doing better than, uh, Boggle playing chicken.
17:00Coaches! Please clear the gaming floor.
17:04Well, I guess that's my cue. You want me to hold your purse?
17:07Fine. This shouldn't take very long, anyway.
17:11Why would you look at this place? I feel like the pretty woman, mm-hmm.
17:23Uh, Hank?
17:25Oh, hi, guys.
17:27Uh, what are you doing with that purse?
17:31I'm holding it for Peggy.
17:34Uh-huh. Come on, man. We're missing the mower show. Let's go!
17:41Well, maybe tomorrow.
17:47What's going on here, Hank?
17:49I got a pretty good dang old idea what's going on.
17:52I'll tell you what, man. It's a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
17:55Two days ago, you were like a little boy, all excited about the mower show.
18:01Now you're this strange man holding a purse.
18:05Which is it, Hank?
18:07Are you some kind of man?
18:08Or are you a little boy?
18:11I am still a little boy, damn it.
18:14And I'm still excited about going to the mower show.
18:17Come on, let's go.
18:28Winner! Peggy Hill!
18:30Oh, I don't believe it. You played a great game.
18:39And on display in booth five, the blade from Sling Blade.
18:47Liberace's mower, no flash photography.
18:50Are you sure you can get that ring out?
19:05Look, I can't afford any more screw-ups.
19:08I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet sealants.
19:12What color is that?
19:17Is that eggshell white?
19:19It's gotta be Swiss coffee!
19:22Oh, baby.
19:26Oh, man.
19:28Woo!
19:29Woo!
19:29Winner!
19:41Peggy Hill!
19:44Winner!
19:45Peggy Hill!
19:48Winner!
19:49Peggy Hill!
19:52I did it!
19:53Guess what, Hank?
19:55We are going to the finals.
19:57Oh, look at old Boomhauer rolling and dodging and such.
20:07Hey, Hank, did something pick up that dang old rock?
20:10I tell you, I haven't had this much fun since our last football road trip.
20:16Remember?
20:17When we went to state, even old Peg was there.
20:21Remember?
20:22Yeah, I remember.
20:23They were cheering their heart out when we were down 28 to nothing.
20:36Man, that dang old piece of crap, dang old blocked up.
20:39Get that grass out there that...
20:42Ah!
20:43I ain't got no fingers!
20:44I'm sorry, Peggy.
20:48We have to start the finals.
20:49Okay.
20:50As soon as I find my husband.
20:52I mean, Coach.
20:54He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
20:57Oh, don't kid yourself.
20:58He's probably just too embarrassed to watch me beat you again.
21:02Sissy Cobb?
21:04That's right.
21:06Patches?
21:07Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
21:11Oh, ho, ho, ho!
21:14Ike?
21:15Hello and welcome to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
21:19We're coming to you live on the Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel.
21:24I'm Brent Steele and with me is Boggle Grandmaster, Alexei Golgarin.
21:29Thanks, Brent.
21:30This should be a great final match.
21:32Two great bogglars.
21:34Only one will be winner.
21:35All right, it's going to be best of three.
21:37I want a clean game.
21:39No foreign words.
21:40No foreign objects.
21:41Shake.
21:48Hank?
21:49Sissy Cobb is off to an excellent start in round one.
21:53Peggy Hill hesitated.
21:55That's going to cost her at least a four-letter word.
21:59Oh, there goes Peggy Hill's pencil.
22:02With no goat, she's really at a disadvantage.
22:10Incredible.
22:11What a scrapper.
22:13What a save.
22:16The players will now read their word lists, starting with Peggy Hill.
22:22Sad.
22:24Abandon.
22:25Abandons.
22:27Bad.
22:28Man.
22:29Man.
22:32We're in the final round of this championship match, and Peggy Hill is far behind.
22:42Peggy.
22:45Peggy Hill is down to her last pencil.
22:48She has no more pencils in reserve.
22:51Everything rides on this pencil.
22:57Ah, this is awful.
22:59I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
23:09Hank, where the hell have you been?
23:12It doesn't matter where I've been.
23:14I figured out where I should be.
23:17Now, let's show them how we play Boggle in Arlen.
23:21Whatever you think, Coach.
23:27Oh, yeah!
23:28Go, yeah!
23:31Go, yeah!
23:32Go, yeah!
23:53Go, yeah!
23:53Peggy Hill was riding up a storm, but will it be enough?
24:03Caviar, chinchilla, harpsichord.
24:11With confidence, she wrote harpsichord, but not harp.
24:17And not chord.
24:19Oh, a very bold gambit.
24:23Fish, fishes, slaw, soil.
24:28Peggy Hill is using the opposite strategy, a long list of short words to narrow the gap.
24:34Turn, turns, apron, aprons.
24:39She needs ten more points, and she only has one word remaining.
24:46Ain't.
24:49Ain't is not a word.
24:51I win.
24:53It ain't, ain't Sissy Cobb.
24:58The word is acquaintanceship.
25:01As in, it was not my pleasure to make your acquaintanceship.
25:05I win.
25:06What an incredible upset.
25:10Peggy Hill is the new Texas State Foggle Champion.
25:14Now, back to a description of the hotel fire safety procedures with your host, Chuck Mangione.
25:18You did it, Peggy.
25:19You did it.
25:20Just like you said.
25:21You're in the winner's circle.
25:22And you are right beside me, Hank.
25:27Loser!
25:28You're a loser!
25:29How you feeling sorry for yourself?
25:31Will you shoot me?
25:32You know, there's something Coach said he would do if we ever won the big game.
25:38Oh, yeah?
25:38What's that?
25:55Let's go!
25:56Let's go!
25:57Let's go!
25:57Oh, my parents are going to be home any minute!
26:01What the hell is going on here?
26:04This party is officially over.
26:13You kids, get out of here before I call your parents.
26:17I don't know how you two could be so irresponsible.
26:21You are both grounded.
26:24What were you thinking?
26:26You've got school tomorrow.