Murphy Brown Season 7 Episode 7 Frank Cuts Loose
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00:00Something wrong with me
00:07And if I know
00:14Dr. King, it's Air Fontana for two!
00:20I'm finally getting the hang of this!
00:24Miles, let the record show that I attempted to continue the story meeting
00:29after you were called upstairs, but what were my appeals to honor and duty
00:32in the face of the budding circus career of Murpho the Clown?
00:38Hey, Miles, what was the big problem, those networks?
00:41What was the word you used, Murphy?
00:43Boneheads.
00:44Boneheads. Those networks, Boneheads wanted to talk to you about.
00:48They're canceling the Banana Squad.
00:50What?
00:51And it had all the elements.
00:54Wit, sophistication, and orangutan that could make armpit noises.
00:59This isn't funny.
01:01We've got a crisis here.
01:03Starting next week, FYI will be replacing the Banana Squad on Saturday night.
01:10What?
01:10A new magazine show called The Next Wave will be taking over our Wednesday night slot.
01:15Good luck.
01:16How can they dump us on Saturday night?
01:18I spent the entire company picnic sucking up to those bozos and programming.
01:23Five geeky drunk guys and me playing hacky sack in the field.
01:27Oh, yeah, that'll happen again.
01:29Saturday nights.
01:31You know what our audience will consist of now, don't you?
01:34Babysitters and convicts.
01:36Half of our viewers will be raiding the refrigerator while the other half is fashioning shivs out of ballpoint pens.
01:44How can you help us, Miles?
01:46We always win our time period.
01:48Our demographics are solid.
01:50Okay, so maybe Murphy doesn't test well in the South, but I still say it's nothing.
01:55A little ways.
01:56An appearance on the 700 Club can't fix.
01:59Miles, what are our options here?
02:01I don't know.
02:03I tried everything with those guys.
02:05Talking didn't work.
02:06Shouting didn't work.
02:07I think I would have cried.
02:09Crying definitely didn't work.
02:11This is unacceptable.
02:13We have poured 17 years of blood, sweat, and tears into that time slot.
02:18I say we don't have to stand for this.
02:20I say we bam together.
02:21I say we take action.
02:23Yes.
02:24What are you planning to do, Murphy?
02:26Well, my first impulse was a stink bomb in the washroom,
02:29but, I don't know, that seems so 80s.
02:33You know, I think I'm just going to go up there and talk to those guys myself.
02:36Tony Lucchese's the head of programming, right?
02:38Yeah, he is, Murphy.
02:39Are you sure you're the right person for the job?
02:42Oh, come on, Frank.
02:43You don't think he's still angry about the salad incident, do you?
02:47The salad incident required six operations and two months of intensive rehabilitation,
02:52so yes, I still think he's angry about the salad incident.
02:55My fourth slip.
02:56And anyway, it was my plate, my cherry tomato,
02:59and his hand had no business being there in the first place.
03:02You know, we do have another option here.
03:07Now you're talking, Frank.
03:09But the trick will be getting 12 network executives to drive down to the country,
03:13strip to their underwear, and count it down while we push their cars into a swamp.
03:16Um, no, Murphy.
03:19What we have here requires a completely different strategy.
03:24Lucchese and I are both Sicilian.
03:28We're both from the street.
03:30I'm going to go up there right now and have a nice little conversation.
03:35A little conversation?
03:40Are you insane, Lucchese?
03:41I need you to watch.
03:42Listen, you guys have to trust me.
03:44This is something that only I can do.
03:46We can't hurt, Murphy.
03:47I say we give the man a chance.
03:49All right, Frank.
03:50If you think you can do it,
03:51I'll give them all, Frank.
03:53You can do it.
03:56So you say we drive these fellas out to the country?
04:02How can they take away our Wednesday night?
04:06We're like little birds.
04:10Wednesday night is our nest.
04:13We've placed our eggs there.
04:14Now those thieving magpies from the next wave are going to be sitting on our eggs.
04:21They're going to break our eggs.
04:23They want their stinking tail feathers off our eggs.
04:28Hey, sorry to hear about the move.
04:31Thank you, Phil.
04:32Well, if it's any consolation,
04:35it was at this very table that Chuck Huntley himself told me
04:39that the Network Brain Trust had decided to reschedule his show.
04:44Yeah, it really looked like he was about to stop earning that old weekly paycheck.
04:49So what did you tell him?
04:51Well, I looked the man straight in the eye and I said,
04:54Hey, up your bar, Bill, deadbeat.
04:56You think I'm giving these drinks away?
04:58Oh, here's Frank.
05:05Frank, sit down.
05:06So how'd it go up there, Frank?
05:08Well, it was, uh...
05:11Interesting.
05:14So did you have any luck?
05:16Um, sort of.
05:18Oh my gosh, you got our time slot back?
05:21Uh, no.
05:22But you found out when we will get our time slot back.
05:24Uh, not exactly.
05:28So what the hell's it going up there, Frank?
05:31Hey, next flavors, there's the man.
05:33Come on, Frank, let's go.
05:34Yeah, we can't have a story meeting without our new lead actor.
05:37Exactly.
05:38You know, I really want your take on that Pentagon.
05:41The Pentagon.
05:41Are you tired of doing stuff?
05:51Yes!
05:52Then watch Easy TV Summer.
05:54It's four effortless hours of your favorite show,
05:56followed by four equally effortless hours of your other favorite show.
06:00Will you make it sound easy?
06:01Easy TV Summer starts this Tuesday at 10 only on Nick at Night.
06:05I can't believe this.
06:18You don't just yank a reporter off one show
06:22and stick him on another without telling the executive producer.
06:26This network is like a viper gun.
06:31And we're all innocent little field mice.
06:34How are we little birds?
06:37We are little birds and field mice.
06:41In the service, we knew how to deal with Frank's kind.
06:45The fellows would wait until lights out
06:46and then he'd be short-sheeted to within an inch of his life.
06:49Maybe this isn't what it looks like.
06:53Maybe Frank didn't jump ship.
06:55Maybe he didn't betray us.
06:57Maybe we owe him a chance to explain himself.
07:01So what the hell happened up there, you two-tony wheeze?
07:03What is my heart, Frank?
07:05Guys, you've got it wrong here.
07:08Funny, that's what Private Tibb said
07:09right before we swapped the latrine with his head.
07:12Look, I am not leaving, FYI.
07:15You're not.
07:16No.
07:17Sure sounded that way in Phil's.
07:18No.
07:19So you're not joining the next way?
07:21Oh, yeah, that I'm doing.
07:23Quick, somebody grab his ankle.
07:24Could you guys just let me explain?
07:28No, I went straight up to Lucchese's office
07:30and I let him have it.
07:32I told him that I thought his idea was idiotic
07:34and I was not going to let him take our time slot
07:36and turn it over to a bunch of inexperienced hot dog reporters.
07:40And you know what?
07:41He agreed with me.
07:43He agreed with you?
07:44I said all that and you threw a ceramic turtle at me.
07:47I should have never opened my mouth
07:51because suddenly Lucchese gets it in his head
07:53that I'm the solution to his show's problems.
07:57I'm the steady hand that's going to guide the ship.
08:00I'm the missing piece to the puzzle.
08:03Can you believe that?
08:04It's getting harder.
08:08Look, I do not need this job.
08:10It's going to be twice the work, twice the headache.
08:13Oh, there goes my trip to Cabo.
08:19I make you all a solemn vow right now.
08:25FYI, will always be my number one priority.
08:29Could we just get on with the story music?
08:48Okay.
08:51Corky?
08:53Want to kick things off?
08:55I thought I'd do a piece on diet, Sandra.
09:06You know how they suck you in with their sales pitches
09:08and then force you to buy all your food from them?
09:11Hey, I like that.
09:16What is it, Frank?
09:17Oh, it's nothing.
09:18It's just that Helen's working on the same story upstairs
09:21and she's got a big jump on you.
09:22I mean, she's already lost all of her water weight.
09:25Jim, any ideas for your next commentary?
09:31I'm thinking of tackling the Middle East this week.
09:33You know, how the talks have fared thus far, prospects for...
09:36Ouch.
09:39Oh, jeez.
09:40If we're planning to do a piece on the very same topic,
09:42I wouldn't want it to look like you're ripping us off.
09:44But hey, really, that is your call.
09:48Murphy.
09:49I'm doing a piece on mandatory prison sentencing.
09:59What?
10:00No, if Frank would go, you'd run with that one.
10:02Oh, jeez.
10:03That's right.
10:05Although...
10:05Oh, my God.
10:09Can I see you in my office?
10:10Look, we're right in the middle of this.
10:11Now.
10:11Okay, Frank.
10:28I know, I know, I know.
10:30There's still a few kinks to be worked out.
10:32Which show gets which story, blah, blah, blah.
10:34But the important thing is, I'm going to be lead anchor!
10:39I'm going to be doing interviews just like you.
10:41Isn't that great?
10:42And look at this jacket.
10:43The sleeves, they are like butter.
10:45Yeah, that's great.
10:46And you know what, Murph?
10:47I owe it all to you, really.
10:49How many times did I come in here wondering if I would ever catch that brick
10:53that would take me on to the next level?
10:55And you would always say the same thing.
10:58Be patient, Frank.
11:00Give it time, Frank.
11:01It'll all work out, Frank.
11:03Well, you know what, Murph?
11:04It did.
11:05You were right.
11:06You were right.
11:07You were just the greatest.
11:11Oh, this is crazy.
11:14Look at me.
11:14I'm actually crying here.
11:19Oh, God.
11:21So, was there anything else you wanted to say?
11:25I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you, Frank.
11:31I really, really, really, really have.
11:35Well, Murph, I meant what I said.
11:38I owe this all to you.
11:42Hey, what is my face doing up here?
11:46Oh, gee, is that you?
11:48I thought I grabbed Newt Gingrich.
11:50Oh, no.
11:51But you know, Frank, I was just wondering,
11:53have you thought this all through?
11:55I mean, say you go on the next wave and it's a huge hit.
12:00And it will be, Murph.
12:01I can feel it in my bones.
12:02Okay, what then?
12:04What if the network won't give FYI its time slot back?
12:07Oh, come on.
12:08That'll never happen.
12:09Look, we should get out.
12:10The guys that think we're having fun.
12:11And if FYI stays on Saturday nights, Frank, it dies.
12:14Oh, what is it?
12:14It dies, Frank.
12:16It dies.
12:17It dies.
12:17And we all die along with it.
12:19Oh, oh, man.
12:24How could I not see this?
12:26I am such an idiot.
12:28Good.
12:29You've acknowledged the problem.
12:31We can move on.
12:33You're jealous.
12:35I got asked to do the next wave.
12:37You didn't.
12:38And you can't stand that.
12:41Trust me, Frank.
12:43Jealousy has nothing to do with this.
12:46Anger.
12:47Anger, everyone.
12:49Oh, this is killing you, isn't it?
12:51You know, you're happy when I'm harmless little Frank Fontana field reporter.
12:55But suddenly, I get just a little bit of the spotlight.
12:59I creep a teeny bit too close to your turf.
13:01Oh, cool.
13:02Not to mention the fact that when the network needed someone to anchor their hot, young news
13:07show, someone the kids could plug into, they called me.
13:12Oh, this just pushes all your buttons, doesn't it?
13:15Oh, grow up.
13:15You really think the kids are going to tune in to watch Snoop Frankie Frank rap with the
13:20Beastie Boys?
13:21I don't even know why I'm wasting my breath.
13:25You're jealous of me, you're threatened by me, and you'll do everything in your power to
13:29bring me down.
13:31Thanks a lot, friend.
13:32Thank you for the support.
13:34Fine.
13:34Fine.
13:35Screw your friends.
13:36Screw FYI, you're right.
13:38But you know what?
13:41Those sleeves aren't real swing.
13:43Bitty, bitty, bow, bow.
14:01How you doing?
14:02How's it going?
14:03Mark Bobby, my man.
14:08Bitty, bitty, bow, bow.
14:09I tell you, it's really, it's a pretty funny story.
14:14So we're over there in Phil's, all of a sudden he comes up, and he goes, hmm, never mind.
14:25Good morning, people.
14:27Well, I just had a meeting with the brass upstairs.
14:32They're wacky guys, that brass upstairs.
14:35Oh, yes, they are.
14:36Wacky, wacky, wacky.
14:38So where do they want to stick us now, Miles, Saturday morning?
14:41You know, the network's getting its butt kicked by the Muppet babies.
14:45Well, perhaps I might get Frank to help them out.
14:47He can play Rack Man.
14:49His superpower is dressing in a fake suede jacket and stabbing his friends in the back.
14:53Actually, actually, they asked if we'd do them a favor.
15:00Ironic, huh?
15:01Them asking us for a favor?
15:03That's like the lions asking the Christians if they could have a ride to the airport.
15:10So what do those network boneheads want from us now, Miles?
15:15Actually, actually, they want Murphy to interview Frank on the air.
15:19Like I said, wacky, huh?
15:21Oh, God.
15:26Did that come out of me?
15:30Look, Miles, I'm not sure that's a good idea.
15:33I'll do it.
15:34You'll do it?
15:36Yeah, I'll do it.
15:38This is great.
15:40Wait till I tell the boneheads.
15:47Well, that was strange.
15:51Strange, Frank?
15:54Well, she answered all from facts, don't you think?
15:58No, not especially.
15:59It is her job.
16:00Well, I know, but usually if she's upset about something or someone, she might find a way to take revenge against that person.
16:08You know?
16:08You make them look like an idiot on national television?
16:13I don't know.
16:16People change, Frank.
16:17They do things you may not expect.
16:20Yeah, you're probably right.
16:21Sure, Murphy's a professional.
16:23When the woman is told to do something, she doesn't.
16:26And who knows?
16:27Maybe she's coming around.
16:28Maybe she's okay with this.
16:30I think so.
16:30Or maybe she'll get some proud wings and flights out for the winner.
16:37Maybe she'll dip herself in breadcrumbs and win to play the piccolo.
16:40You know, I have a good feeling that Murphy's going to come through for me on this.
16:48Quizzling, Kim Philby, Aldrich Ames, Benedict Arnold, Traitors All.
17:05Men who, deluded by gain or glory, turned their backs on their compatriots in pursuit of their own perverted goals and lustful ambitions.
17:14Would we could wipe the world clean of their vile scourge?
17:21Coming up, Frank Fontana talks with Murphy Verhall about his latest career move.
17:26And we're clear.
17:28Uh, Frank, I'm going to need you over here.
17:31Shame on you, Jim.
17:33You left out the most famous trait of them all.
17:36Judas Iscariot.
17:38And he hanged himself, too.
17:40So it even had a happy ending.
17:43You see these pictures?
17:45Oh, John Jr.
17:48Oh, that's great.
17:49How is the little guy?
17:50Oh, he's great.
17:51We're just waiting for him to start asking those typical three-year-old questions.
17:55Daddy, why don't you have a job anymore?
17:57Daddy, why are you crying all the time?
17:59Daddy, why do we have to eat squirrel again tonight?
18:05Mm.
18:07Hello?
18:08Hi.
18:09So, ready for the interview?
18:12Ready?
18:13Well, why wouldn't I be ready?
18:14What are you, uh, planning on asking me?
18:18Well, Frank, you can stop worrying.
18:22I've thought this over, and as far as I'm concerned, you're doing that other show as a dead issue.
18:27Really, Murph?
18:28Really.
18:29Oh, that's great, because I thought I was getting nervous.
18:31All right.
18:31You've been sexy, people.
18:33Okay, this is going to go as planned.
18:35Jim introduces you, you introduce Frank, you do the thing, then you're back to Jim.
18:40Got it?
18:4010 seconds.
18:41Wait a second.
18:42Do the thing?
18:43What's the thing?
18:44It's me, Frank, you know, the interview.
18:46No, no, wait a minute.
18:46He said, you do the thing, and then you said, I'm ready, almost as if you'd rehearsed something.
18:51That's the...
18:52What?
18:56What's going on here?
18:57All right, we're back live in John, I want to know, did you, three, two, and welcome back.
19:06In our next segment, our own Frank Fontana stares into the jaws of death as he sits in
19:12Murphy Brown's hot seat.
19:14Murphy?
19:15Thank you, Jim.
19:17Next week, viewers will be getting a double dose of Frank Fontana when, in addition to his
19:21investigative work on FYI, he takes charge of the network's latest magazine show,
19:26The Next Wave.
19:28Frank, welcome.
19:29You're welcome.
19:33So, The Next Wave premieres next week at 9 o'clock.
19:36Care to give our viewers some idea of what they can expect to see when they tune in your
19:40show?
19:42Well, that depends on what you mean by expect.
19:47Expect can have a lot of different meanings.
19:51I mean, expect, envision, foresee, anticipate, you know.
19:56No, I don't know.
19:57What are you driving at?
20:01Well, the format of The Next Wave, could you describe it, Forrest?
20:07Yes.
20:09Yes.
20:10What?
20:12Yes.
20:13I can.
20:16Uh-huh.
20:17So you're saying the format of The Next Wave will be...
20:20I don't believe I'm saying anything.
20:23Yes, I'm well aware of that.
20:26But The Next Wave is a news show, right?
20:29Yes.
20:30Well, that is to say we'll be doing news segments.
20:34Different ones every week.
20:35Really?
20:36Different stories?
20:37No, no.
20:37When I say different, I mean different from each other.
20:40I don't mean different in the sense of weird or unconventional.
20:42Not that our stories will be conventional, no.
20:45As a matter of fact, they're going to be way out there.
20:48But not so far out there that the normal viewer of FYI isn't going to come to watch them.
20:52No, really, the more I think about it, the more they're going to be exactly like FYI.
20:56But different.
20:58Can I leave a cup of water, please?
21:01Well, thank you for joining us, Frank.
21:04I'm sure your show is destined for success,
21:06and all your colleagues here at FYI wish you nothing but the very best.
21:10What exactly do you mean by that?
21:17Good night.
21:24Hey, Frank.
21:25Saw the show tonight.
21:26Thought you handled yourself pretty well.
21:29Really, Phil?
21:30Absolutely.
21:32By the way, here's your bar bill.
21:35Cash will be fine.
21:45Frank, I've been waiting all over for you.
21:48Oh, yeah.
21:49I bet you were.
21:50Okay, let's get this over with.
21:52Congratulations.
21:53You won.
21:54I won?
21:55What are you talking about?
21:56You're not going to be happy till you hear me say it, are you?
21:58Okay.
22:00FYI is not moving anywhere.
22:02They're yanking the next wave to retool it without me.
22:06Oh, jeez, Frank.
22:07I'm sorry.
22:08But why?
22:10Are you playing worked out perfectly?
22:12Lucchese said watching me try to answer those stupid questions of yours
22:16was like watching a man get his neck snapped only half as fun.
22:21I think that last part was a joke.
22:23How could you do this to me, Murph?
22:28What are you talking about?
22:30That interview, those questions.
22:32You hung me out to dry.
22:34Oh, please.
22:34I was tossing you nothing but softball questions.
22:37Exactly.
22:38That was the last thing I expected and you knew it.
22:40I wasn't trying to screw you over.
22:42I was trying to help you.
22:44Oh, I see you were trying to help me.
22:47What?
22:48I was.
22:49Don't get me wrong.
22:51I thought about screwing you over.
22:53I even wrote down a whole bunch of other questions.
22:58Really, really horrible questions.
23:02I couldn't bring myself to do it.
23:06I guess I just really wanted what was best for you.
23:13You did?
23:15We're friends.
23:16Oh, man.
23:20What is wrong with me?
23:23I completely blew this.
23:25I finally get my shot.
23:27Not only do I fall flat on my face, I step all over everybody else doing it.
23:32Hey, we didn't exactly help.
23:35I mean, here you get this big break and what do we do?
23:37We call you a traitor, even though you sort of were one.
23:41We call you a jerk, even though you sort of acted like one.
23:44Could we please skip to the part where you try to make me feel better?
23:48That was the part.
23:53Oh, all right, Frank.
23:55It'll work out, Frank.
23:57Just give it time, Frank.
23:59Be patient, Frank.
24:01Ah, you always know what to say.
24:04Listen, I don't suppose that you'd let me have a look at one of those questions because,
24:11ma'am, I tell you, I was ready for you.
24:13I don't know, I think it's better.
24:14Oh, come on, Murph.
24:15What do you see?
24:15Just one?
24:17Oh, all right.
24:18It looks like I was screwed either way, huh?
24:32Yeah, pretty much.
24:34Are you tired of doing stuff?
24:52Yes!
24:53Then watch Easy TV Summer.
24:55It's four effortless hours of your favorite show,
24:57followed by four equally effortless hours of your other favorite show.
25:00Doesn't make it sound easy.
25:02Easy TV Summer starts this Tuesday at 10 only on Nick at Night.