Murphy Brown Season 7 Episode 22 FYI Of The Hurricane
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Here you go, Avery.
00:20I hear after a hard race, there's nothing Mario Andretti likes more than a tall, frosty juice box.
00:25Well, hey there, little buckaroo. How you doing? Who is this, my new secretary?
00:32Here, Avery.
00:37Where do kids pick these things up?
00:39It's me. You gotta get going.
00:42We got a lot of stuff to do today, don't we, Avery?
00:44That's what I heard. So what's the schedule?
00:47Well, let's see. The zoo, kiddie land, maybe check out that cement mixer at that new construction site.
00:53You know, guy stuff.
00:55Yeah, guy stuff.
00:58Okay, but no sitting on a girder whistling at women.
01:02Oh, no, we wouldn't do that, would we?
01:05Nah.
01:08Hey, I know you. You're Peter Hunt.
01:11Miller Redfield. Next wave.
01:14Yeah, well, I was gonna tell you.
01:17Your report's from Somalia, Kuwait, the Sudan.
01:21I really admire the way you put yourself at risk.
01:24Well, the mortar fire tends to be where the news happens, so...
01:28I was talking about going out in the sun that much.
01:31Ouch.
01:31Crow's feet city.
01:34Hey, here's a tip.
01:38Bronzing gel.
01:40I'll try and remember that.
01:42Okay.
01:42Say goodbye, Avery.
01:44Yeah, hi!
01:45He can't do that, can he?
01:52Oh, hi, Miller.
01:54I had fun last night.
01:56Thanks for the flowers.
01:57That was so thoughtful.
01:59Well, hey, you can't go out on a date with a beautiful woman without bringing her flowers.
02:03At least, that's what the guy at the on-ramp told me.
02:08Oh, and they say romance is dead.
02:11Only from the makeup.
02:14Boy, boy, oh, boy, am I in a pickle.
02:18I've got a hot-breaking story way down in Florida, but who can I send there?
02:23Who, who, who?
02:27Wait, brainstorm.
02:29Miller, this story is perfect for you.
02:31Let's see, a story that's perfect for Miller.
02:35It can't involve math, geography, or words over two syllables.
02:38I'm stuck.
02:41Yeah, me too.
02:42What is it?
02:43Actually, it's a hurricane, a big one, and it's heading right for Coral Palms, a little
02:47town on the Florida coast.
02:49This could be the storm of the century, so I need you to get down there right away.
02:52Oh, no, that means you're going to miss our date on Friday.
02:55You two had a date?
02:56If you're awful.
02:59Hey, don't worry, Corky.
03:00There will be plenty of other times for us to go out.
03:02I mean, but how often are you lucky enough to have a horrible disaster fall right in
03:06your lap?
03:08Obviously, my expertise is needed down there.
03:10My expertise?
03:11Oh, yeah.
03:11Hey, hey.
03:13May I remind you that I was once a weatherman?
03:16Do either of you know what a low-pressure system is?
03:24It's when we use the blue map.
03:29Oh, Miller, you really should get going.
03:33Those hurricane winds can pick up at any time.
03:36Be careful, Miller.
03:37Hey, you be careful, too.
03:39Bye, Miller.
03:40Bye, Corky.
03:41Hey, uh, I've got a little something to remember you by.
03:45Here's a phone book.
03:45Have a nice trip.
03:48Miles, you have a phone line, too.
03:52Morning, O.
03:53What's new?
03:54Get this.
03:54Miles ship Miller off to Florida to cover a hurricane.
03:57I can picture it now.
03:59He'll be in water up to his knees interviewing some old guy with no teeth who refuses to
04:03leave his trailer park.
04:06That was the network.
04:08They like my idea of covering a hurricane so much, they want to send FYI down there to
04:12cover it, too.
04:14Gives on the toothless geezer.
04:15Here you go.
04:26Welcome to the Coral Palms Motoring Honeymoon Suite, where fantasy and romance meets a guaranteed
04:32an item, unbridled sensuality, and heart-burning passion with easy interstate access.
04:40It's very nice.
04:42Don't touch anything.
04:43Nice choice, Miles.
04:46What happened?
04:46The Bates Motel was having a shower fix?
04:49We are here to cover a story.
04:51A story also being covered by every other news show on the air.
04:54We were lucky to get anything at all.
04:55Come on, Jim.
04:57It was a joke.
04:58A joke?
04:59A man dozes off on the airplane and you call lobbing dry-roasted nuts into his open mouth
05:04a joke?
05:06Why didn't you just dip my hand in a bowl of warm water?
05:09We did.
05:10It didn't work.
05:11At least you got nuts.
05:13They ran out before they got to me.
05:15The only thing I've had to eat since lunch was a yogurt-covered raisin I found in the
05:19seat pocket in front of me.
05:22Your seat pocket had a raisin?
05:24Okay, apparently the hurricane has stalled off the coast, but it's picking up steam and
05:29could hit any time tomorrow.
05:31So let's all get some rest.
05:32We're gonna need it.
05:34You can show us to our other rooms now.
05:35Other rooms?
05:37Yes.
05:37Other rooms.
05:38I booked rooms for five people.
05:39No, you booked room for five people and this is it.
05:42The presidential suite.
05:44I thought you said this was the honeymoon suite.
05:46It's both.
05:47One time we had the president of the Kiwanis Club stay here on his honeymoon.
05:52That was a good night.
05:56Save it for the brochure.
05:57Look, there must be some other place around here we can stay, preferably with a nice buffet
06:01and a big jacuzzi tub.
06:03So just point us to it and we'll be on our way.
06:05Sorry, the whole town has boarded up, but I can't, there's a big hurricane coming that
06:09could destroy us all.
06:13Enjoy your stay.
06:16And if there's anything you need, just ask.
06:18Okay.
06:19I guess if we're gonna be stuck in this room for five, we'll need some cots.
06:24Cots?
06:25I can't get that.
06:27Well, how about some food?
06:28We're starved.
06:29Food?
06:31I can't get that.
06:32You can't get cots, you can't get food.
06:36What the hell can you get?
06:37Well, I moonlight as a professional escort.
06:40Anyone want a date?
06:43Great.
06:44I'm looking to eat.
06:45I'm sleeping in a room full of people, throw in a beefy type named Gail who wants to get
06:50to know me better, and I'm back in the dean's office striking for a women's studies program.
06:55Murphy, where's your sense of adventure?
06:58This'll be fun.
06:59Just pretend we're having a slumber party at the home of a friend who left a really big
07:05pair of men's underwear in the sink.
07:09All right.
07:10I realize these aren't ideal conditions, but we've got a big day tomorrow, so let's just
07:15figure out the sleeping arrangements and get some rest.
07:18Good idea.
07:20All right.
07:21I'll take the bed.
07:23What?
07:23Oh, wait a second.
07:26Why do you get the bed?
07:28Because my stuff is on it.
07:32Hey, hey, hey.
07:34There is no need to argue.
07:37Between the bed and the sofa, there's enough room for all of us.
07:40Hey, everybody.
07:41Guess what?
07:42Civil defense just commandeered my room for a morgue.
07:45Cool, huh?
07:46So, can I, uh, double up with somebody here?
07:51Where's Corky?
07:52Miller!
07:53Miller!
07:53There's no room here.
07:55No room at all.
07:55In fact, I was just coming to get you.
07:57I need you to go out in the helicopter and get some shots of the hurricane.
08:00Well, now, I just got...
08:01It might be a little bumpy in the beginning, but when you get to the eye, it's really calm.
08:05Good luck.
08:06Can I get to the eye?
08:10That's funny.
08:11I thought I heard Miller's voice.
08:13Miller, that is funny.
08:13Anyway, Frank, Jim, you two want to take this off a bed?
08:20You don't have a problem with that, do you?
08:23No problem here.
08:26Okay.
08:27Uh, Corky, you can share the bed with Murphy.
08:28Can't you sleep with Frank and Jim?
08:30Murphy!
08:33Oh, man.
08:34I don't know how we're supposed to sleep.
08:36I'm still starving.
08:38Oh, for heaven's sake, give it a rest, Frank.
08:40We're all hungry.
08:41Just go to sleep and forget about it.
08:43Okay.
08:43But, uh, I think I should warn you.
08:46You know, I really can't sleep unless I'm totally naked.
08:52Let's try, Frank.
08:53No way I'm giving up my half of the sofa.
08:56Hey, it was worth a shot.
09:04Jim, you're awake.
09:05Mm.
09:07You hear that?
09:07How can I hear anything with your stomach growling like a mixmaster?
09:14Oh, no, no, no.
09:16That sounded like cellophane.
09:18I heard it.
09:19I heard it.
09:20It was definitely cellophane.
09:23I smell chocolate.
09:25Murphy, do you smell chocolate?
09:28Nope.
09:29I don't know.
09:32Murphy, are you eating something?
09:38Murphy's eating something!
09:40Oh, just...
09:41Look at this.
09:44A candy bar wrapper.
09:46You had a candy bar.
09:48She had lots of candy bars.
09:51Look at this.
09:53Now, where did you get these?
09:55All right, I cleaned out the vending machines when we got here.
09:58There was a hurricane coming.
10:00You never heard of hoarding food?
10:02And you didn't need to share with any of us?
10:04Let me remind you of the story of the grasshopper and the ant.
10:08You see, the ant knew winter was coming,
10:10so he stuck a pile with me.
10:14Hey, when I started eating, you were all sleeping.
10:17If I'd have woken you up, I would have gotten in trouble for that.
10:19I just can't seem to win with you people.
10:21I wouldn't let kids get to you!
10:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:27Hold it!
10:27Hold it!
10:28Just hold...
10:29Now, the only fair thing to do is to share this.
10:36Let's just divide it into four equal parts.
10:41Excuse me?
10:43Don't you mean five equal parts?
10:47What?
10:50Okay.
10:51This is it!
10:53This is finally it!
10:55Get ready to move!
10:56I think I saw a drop!
10:59I did!
11:00I did!
11:00I definitely saw a drop!
11:01No!
11:02Wait!
11:03It's just the condensation from my breath.
11:07God, I feel awful.
11:09Coming through.
11:11Uh-oh, uh-oh!
11:12Take a number!
11:13I'm in need of a shave,
11:14and Frank's been in there for the past 20 minutes.
11:16Of course, he spent last night hogging the covers,
11:18so why not monopolize the bathroom, too?
11:20I'll tell you, a little more drool and a tad less cellulite,
11:24and I'd swear it was Doris.
11:27I heard that!
11:29Here we go!
11:30Wait.
11:31Uh, no.
11:31Wait!
11:32Hang on!
11:33Hey, how could we just march in here like that?
11:35What?
11:36And you're just brushing your teeth over?
11:37What if I wasn't just washing my teeth?
11:41Huh.
11:41Thanks.
11:42What if I was doing something embarrassing?
11:44Oh, please!
11:45What could be more embarrassing than yesterday
11:46when you had those eight glasses of iced tea
11:48and then asked us to pull the van over
11:50to the side of the road?
11:52And Frank, if you're gonna take that long,
11:54you shouldn't be startled
11:55when someone honks the horn.
11:58I can't remember that.
12:00Jeez.
12:01You look like hell.
12:02Oh, good.
12:03I'm glad my outside met my inside.
12:06While I was sleeping,
12:07someone put my stomach on spin cycle.
12:08I haven't heard you say that
12:12since your boozing days
12:13or when you were pregnant.
12:16What?
12:18Come on, Mertz.
12:19Oh, you're a little nauseous.
12:21So what?
12:21I mean, it's not like you're late or anything.
12:26You're late?
12:28How many weeks would you consider late?
12:30Oh, my God.
12:33And my breasts do feel kind of swollen.
12:36Do my breasts look swollen to you?
12:38Who could tell?
12:41I don't believe this.
12:46I don't believe this.
12:48How could this be happening again?
12:50What is wrong with you?
12:51Don't you use protection?
12:52Of course, but those things
12:53are only 99% effective.
12:55Can I help it if I've always been exceptional?
12:56Oh.
12:59I just...
13:00Okay.
13:02Hey, wait a second.
13:03Was it Peter?
13:07No, Frank.
13:08It was Jesse Helms.
13:11We had a quickie in the Senate call group.
13:13Of course it was Peter.
13:15How did you do this to me again?
13:16How did you be pregnant?
13:18Why don't you keep your voice down?
13:19Okay, okay.
13:20Well, let's not get carried away, all right?
13:22We don't know for sure, do we?
13:24You know what we need?
13:26Some kind of test.
13:28I wish there was some kind of test
13:31to tell if you were pregnant.
13:32You mean a pregnancy test?
13:35Yes.
13:37Now you're thinking, listen,
13:38I'll run across the street
13:39to the drugstore and pick one up.
13:41It's here, it's here!
13:42The hurricane is here!
13:43Yeah, right.
13:44The hurricane is here.
13:45Okay, listen, Jim,
13:57you'll be with me in the news van,
13:59Corky, you'll be getting local reactions.
14:01Frank, I want you to...
14:01Mind if I'm going to be with you in a minute,
14:03I've got to run across the street
14:04to the drugstore.
14:05What?
14:06You're going to the drugstore now?
14:07Yeah, I ran out of conditioner for my hair.
14:13Yeah, me too.
14:15No, Murph, listen,
14:16I don't think someone with your problem hair
14:18should be out in a hurricane
14:20going to get conditioner.
14:22What if you don't get the kind of conditioner I want?
14:24I have bought a lot of conditioner in my day.
14:27I think I know the kind of conditioner you want.
14:30What are we talking about hair care, brother?
14:33Frank, oh, okay, I'm here.
14:34Just make sure you get the kind of conditioner
14:35that works really fast.
14:37It's the kind you pee into.
14:45I'm out of here.
14:46Just be careful, Frank.
14:47You have no idea how dangerous these storms can be.
14:50My cousin Lou Anne was maimed
14:52by a flying popsicle stick right here.
14:55Now she has to wear bangs.
14:56And on her, they're not at all planners.
14:59You don't have enough hair to go out in that storm.
15:01Oh, please.
15:02Frank Fontana does not let
15:05a little please
15:06pull him back.
15:07Don't worry, guys.
15:08I'll be back in a second.
15:09Yeah.
15:11Frank!
15:14Don't shoot!
15:14I'll be back in a second.
15:15I see Frank.
15:27He's past the palm tree.
15:28He's almost here.
15:30He's technically catching a stop sign.
15:33Ooh, he's back at the drugstore.
15:37All right, all right, okay.
15:40Crookie is in the bathroom.
15:42Frank is out buying conditioner.
15:43And Murphy is out in the lobby, for all we know, looking at postcards.
15:47But this is okay.
15:49All we need to do is get into the news van, and everything will be okay.
15:53Oh, Miles, about the news van, it appears to be gone.
15:57It's not gone?
15:59Jim, it can't be gone.
16:00It's parked right...
16:02It's gone.
16:04The news van is gone.
16:07Sorry to bother you, but we have a strict policy.
16:10No vans in the swimming pool.
16:13Okay, the van is in the swimming pool, but I can handle this.
16:19I'm a highly paid professional.
16:22That is, at least until I get back and explain to Mr. Lansing how his $250,000 state-of-the-art
16:27news van is now a submarine.
16:28What about that pregnancy test I told you I could get?
16:33I couldn't get that.
16:35What?
16:36What are you talking about?
16:38Nobody here asks for a pregnancy test.
16:40Oh, yeah, the blonde lady gave me $10 to get a one.
16:43And she said there'd be five more in it for me if I didn't tell her so.
16:45I guess they're not going to get that.
16:53Pregnancy test?
16:54What would anybody here want with a pregnancy test?
16:57Is that Miller?
16:58I'll be right out.
17:03Cookie.
17:05And Miller.
17:06Boy, what a night.
17:14You know, I almost didn't make it back.
17:16Yeah, looks like you guys had a pretty wild night here, too.
17:20Which one of you knuckleheads parked the van in the pool?
17:23Well, is Corky around?
17:34Hang on!
17:36I don't know.
17:36It's really good, huh?
17:38But I've really got to use the bathroom.
17:40Don't do anything gory until I get back.
17:42Oh, no, you don't.
17:43I've been waiting to save up money.
17:46Ah!
17:48I'm back!
17:49I'm back!
17:50I finally made it!
17:52What is going on?
17:53All right, Miles!
17:54No, really.
17:54I'm safe.
17:55Don't you play play with me.
17:56No need to worry about Frank Fontana.
18:00You took it to conditioner!
18:03It's all soggy!
18:05Oh, I'm sorry.
18:06It must have got a little wet while I was trying not to die!
18:10Quieting, Miles!
18:11You know what this is about.
18:13The guy from the motel told me the blonde lady asked him to get her a pregnancy test.
18:18What?
18:19I think Miles thinks Corky wanted a pregnancy test.
18:23Maybe you want to say something about that?
18:28For shame!
18:33This is crazy!
18:34I didn't ask for any pregnancy tests.
18:37Miller and I haven't even slept together.
18:40Sure we did.
18:41Don't you remember?
18:42It was on a beach.
18:43It was you and me and Cindy Crawford and...
18:46Oh, wait.
18:47That was...
18:49something else.
18:50So, the pregnancy test wasn't for you?
18:55No!
18:56But the guy said it was for the blonde lady.
18:58There's no other blonde lady here except...
19:02Oh!
19:05Oh, it was for Murphy!
19:07It was for Murphy!
19:10It was for Murphy!
19:11It was for Murphy!
19:12It was for Murphy!
19:15How about this winter we're having?
19:17Oh, my God!
19:18You're pregnant?
19:19It can't be!
19:20Not again!
19:21How long do your eggs live?
19:23How long do your eggs live?
19:33Really, Murphy?
19:34Last time it was a miracle!
19:36This time you're just a freak!
19:39Will you stop?
19:40I didn't tell you because I didn't know for sure.
19:42So, I would really appreciate it if you would stop making such a big deal about this.
19:45And just forget about it and go on with our lives.
19:48Peter!
19:50Hey, everybody.
19:51You're not gonna believe this.
19:54The network called me and told me that our correspondent down here got sick and asked me if I wouldn't mind filling in.
20:00How many people you got sleeping here?
20:02Six.
20:03Or seven, depending on when you think life actually begins.
20:15Okay, what did I miss?
20:16Well, actually, it's more like something Murphy missed.
20:21All right!
20:22Everybody over to that side of the room!
20:24Now!
20:26Not you!
20:30Um...
20:31I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but, um...
20:34You see, the possibility is that I might be pregnant.
20:40Sweet mother of perilous hot water!
20:43Someone used my razor to shave their legs!
20:45Oh, the bathroom's free.
20:46I'll be right back.
20:47What?
20:48No, no, no, no, no.
20:49Wait a second.
20:50Murphy.
20:51Welcome to my health.
20:52Welcome to my health.
20:53What?
20:54What?
20:55What?
20:56What?
20:57What?
20:58What?
20:59What?
21:00What?
21:01What?
21:02What?
21:03What?
21:04What?
21:05Oh, wow.
21:06You never know how you're gonna react to something like this until it happens to you, you know?
21:10Wow.
21:11Hey.
21:12That's pretty much how I'd react.
21:13Right, Frank.
21:14Except there'd be this big old cutout of your body where you ran right through the door.
21:23Peter, I just want you to know I'm behind you 100%, unless, of course, you hurt Murphy.
21:25In which case, so help me.
21:26You'll have to answer to...
21:27Murphy.
21:28Have I missed something?
21:29Happens to me all the time.
21:30Okay.
21:31You can all relax.
21:32I'm not pregnant.
21:33What?
21:34What?
21:35What?
21:36What?
21:37What?
21:38What?
21:39What?
21:40What?
21:41What?
21:42What?
21:43What?
21:44What?
21:45What?
21:46What?
21:47What?
21:48What?
21:49What?
21:50What?
21:51What?
21:52What?
21:53What?
21:54What?
21:55What?
21:56The stick is pink.
21:57The rabbit lives.
21:58The oven is without button.
21:59Close run, huh?
22:00Don't you ever do this to me again.
22:04Oh, excuse me.
22:05I woke up feeling nauseous.
22:06What else could make me feel that way?
22:08Oh, gee.
22:09I don't know.
22:10Maybe it has something to do with the two dozen candy bars he sucked down last night.
22:16Hey, there.
22:17Well, I've got some terrible news.
22:19Herbal's Market, a beloved local institution for nearly three quarters of a century just washed away in the rising current.
22:28On a brandy note, there's fresh produce all over the highway.
22:31There's food?
22:32There's food.
22:33Let's go.
22:34All right, first we eat and then we work.
22:37Oof.
22:38It's a big relief, huh?
22:39Yeah.
22:40Yeah.
22:41Yeah.
22:42Yeah.
22:43Well, I'm starving.
22:44We better, uh, go get some of that produce before all the good stuff is gone.
22:51Murphy?
22:52Let's get married.
22:53Excuse me?
22:54You and me.
22:55Let's do it.
22:56Let's...
22:57Let's get married.
22:58Whoa.
22:59Whoa.
23:00Now you want to get married?
23:01Where were you five minutes ago when I was alone and pregnant?
23:04No, no, no, look.
23:05I'm serious.
23:06What?
23:07What?
23:08What?
23:09What?
23:10What?
23:11What?
23:12What?
23:13What?
23:14What?
23:15What?
23:16What?
23:17What?
23:18What?
23:19What?
23:20What?
23:21When I thought you were pregnant, I got this picture in my head of us and Avery and being
23:26a family and it seemed really right.
23:31So why not do it anyway?
23:35Murphy?
23:36Will you marry me?
23:40I don't know what to say.
23:49Okay.
23:50Oh, God.
23:51It's just a crazy idea.
23:52I don't...
23:53I don't know what I was thinking anyway.
23:54Come on.
23:55What do you say we, uh, go get some of that produce now, huh?
24:00Yes.
24:01Yes.
24:02Yes.
24:03Yes to the produce or yes to the other thing?
24:12Both.
24:13Both.
24:14Both.
24:25What's your redneck?
24:26Tune in for The Jeff Foxworthy Show and find out.
24:30Damn straight.
24:31Great.
24:32The show premieres Saturday, July 23rd with a two-hour block of four episodes.
24:36Starting at 10, only on Nick at Night.
24:38Only on Nick at Night.
24:39Only on Nick at Night.
24:40Only on Nick at Night.
24:43Okay.
24:44No.
24:45All right.
24:46Many times in the office, the game is good.
24:47This is the stage of the show.
24:48I'm gonna do the one with two.
24:49Time, yeah.
24:50I can't do it.
24:51No.
24:52Even though I'm little and I'll be fine with it.
24:53I don't know.
24:54No, no, no, no.
24:55Wow.
24:56You're not a rock.
24:57There's a rock, no.
24:58I'm not a rock.
24:59You're not a rock.
25:00So long.
25:01A rock.
25:02So long, I can't do a rock.
25:03A rock.