Dave & Chuck the Freak share an e-mail they received from a listener whose girlfriend had crazy experience at the gym. She witnessed a nude, older lady slurping soup in the locker room. They then ask the listeners for their craziest locker room experiences.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00All right, I got this email, speaking of weird, from a listener that had to share this with
00:09you.
00:10Picked up my girlfriend from the gym today, and she looked very shaken up.
00:14I thought something was seriously wrong until she told me what happened.
00:19She saw an older woman, at least late 60s, sitting on a bench in the locker room, devouring
00:27a bowl of soup.
00:29Soup time.
00:31Get your protein.
00:32Loudly clanging her metal spoon on the bowl.
00:35Worst of all, she was slurping the soup.
00:37That's how the older people do it.
00:41A lot of slurping.
00:42Your lips get real soft.
00:45And your teeth are soft.
00:46Yeah.
00:46So then you just...
00:48You're forced to slurp.
00:50This is at peak hours.
00:51The gym was very busy.
00:53Wow.
00:54She is nude.
00:55This old woman in the middle of a busy, humid locker room surrounded by other nude women
01:01slurping soup.
01:03Now, this gym is more upscale, so the locker rooms are very clean.
01:06But still, there's naked people all over.
01:09Bathroom, showering.
01:10It is not a soup-friendly environment.
01:12No.
01:14I've been a gym-goer for a long...
01:15Soup-friendly is not.
01:17It's not a soup-friendly environment.
01:18Who brings soup to the gym?
01:19They don't really encourage it.
01:20Yeah, a lot.
01:22I've been a gym-goer for a long time and have seen lots of stuff, but thankfully, nothing
01:27like this.
01:28My girlfriend is still shook from the noises and the sight in such a setting.
01:32A nude old lady eating soup?
01:35That's slurping?
01:35I don't know if you'll get that out of your head quickly.
01:37A nude old woman eating soup is like something when you open a door at the Shining Hotel and
01:41you see it again.
01:43You're like, oh, shut it!
01:44Oh, God!
01:45Yeah, you close it real quick.
01:46You're like, Jesus, Stanley Kubrick?
01:47Yeah.
01:48Could be a part of a horror movie for sure.
01:50It sure could.
01:51The sounds combined with the visuals.
01:54Oh, my God.
01:54Terrible.
01:56Oh, God.
01:56Noodle in my bush.
01:57Oh, no.
01:59Noodle in my bush?
01:59You'll never get it out.
02:00Noodle in my bush?
02:01You'll never get it out.
02:02It's so dangerous, too.
02:03That hot soup gets on you.
02:05I know.
02:05It's great.
02:06Where did she get the soup from?
02:07I have so many questions.
02:08I brought it in a thermos.
02:09Oh, a thermos.
02:09Okay.
02:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:10A thermos full of soup, do they?
02:11Yeah, they do.
02:12I brought my fitness soup.
02:13Oh, yeah.
02:14Look at that.
02:15It's not going to fill you up, lady.
02:16Well, get your clothes off.
02:17I only eat it in the box.
02:20Maybe that's why she does it.
02:21She makes too much of a mess with her slurping fully clothed.
02:24Probably.
02:24So she has her soup and then hops into the shower.
02:26Just go to your car.
02:27What are you doing?
02:28I don't know.
02:29It's crazy.
02:29I don't have any more gym stories.
02:31I don't go to the gym anymore, so I don't.
02:33It's wild there, though.
02:34Well, yeah, when that nude lady asked you how the weather was.
02:36Right.
02:37It was time to dance list or whatever.
02:39I got out of that gym.
02:40Yeah.
02:40Time to do some planks at home.
02:42Can anyone top this besides a nude old lady eating soup?
02:47Craziest thing you've seen in a locker room.
02:49If you want to join us quickly here, you can.
02:511-855-954-6969.
02:54That's the number.
02:541-855-954-6969.
02:57Especially you ladies, because we assume all the men are crazy, but it turns out the
03:01ladies are just as crazy.
03:03Yeah, they are.
03:054-6969 is how you can text us.
03:07Again, that's 4-6969.
03:08Craziest thing you've seen in a locker room.
03:11I just wonder what kind of soup it was, too.
03:13Yeah, I want to know what kind of soup it was.
03:14Oh, my God.
03:15Is it chicken noodle or was it something else?
03:17Beef.
03:17Minestrone.
03:18That was like a beef vegetable.
03:20Minestrone, to me, you're risking a lot of spoon spillage.
03:25They got little noodles in that, too.
03:26Little things.
03:28Maybe that's why she's nude, like I'm saying.
03:30She knows she's going to destroy herself with that soup.
03:34Worked at the purple and yellow gym as a manager.
03:37Had to kick a lady out who would come in and shower after a workout and poop in the
03:42shower.
03:42Oh, my God.
03:44Oh, no.
03:44Every day.
03:44Every God-forsaken day, he says.
03:48Oh, my God.
03:49So gross.
03:49To squeeze one out in the shower is such an animalistic move.
03:54It really is.
03:55You're not right.
03:56No.
03:57If you can do that.
03:58If you can stand and do that.
03:59A lady.
04:00Yeah.
04:00A lady.
04:01I don't know how their showers are set up.
04:05If it's like a.
04:06I think they're single showers.
04:08Like.
04:08Are they?
04:09Yeah.
04:09Oh, God.
04:09Was at a high-end gym in Orlando in the menthol steam room when a creepy ginger next to me
04:19started stroking it.
04:20Yep.
04:21I mean, that's what happens.
04:22Look out for the creepy gym gingers.
04:24Right.
04:25What do you think is going to happen?
04:26Yeah.
04:27I like the idea of just like an old woman that eats the weirdest stuff at a locker room.
04:31That is crazy, right?
04:33What you got?
04:34It's vegetable pizza.
04:36Oh, God.
04:36A veggie pizza.
04:37Yeah, with the cauliflower and the broth.
04:39Oh, goodness.
04:39No cheese.
04:40Wow, that's smelly.
04:41Yeah, it really smells like farts.
04:43Quite odorous.
04:43It's pungent.
04:44That's way worse than that old lady asking me about the weather naked.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Yeah.
04:49Still uncomfortable.
04:50Yeah.
04:50There's always.
04:51I mean, if you're a guy in a locker room, you know there's the naked dudes there.
04:55Yeah.
04:55Always.
04:56You just know.
04:56You avert your eyes.
04:57You do your business.
04:58But that's just to be expected.
05:00I would not want them to talk to me, though.
05:01No.
05:02John is with us next.
05:04Craziest thing you've seen in a locker room, John.
05:06Yeah.
05:07Hi.
05:07Hi.
05:09Back in high school, a guy coming out of the shower, another guy snapped him in the rear.
05:14Fell down, knocked out both his front teeth.
05:16Oh, God.
05:17Ouch.
05:17I mean, you're not ready for it.
05:19No, no towel snapping.
05:21Come on.
05:22I know.
05:22That's crazy.
05:23I would fight you to the death.
05:26Could you even imagine going to a gym now, and there's just some guy acting like it's
05:30a high school locker room still, and he's just towel snapping people?
05:33He would get the crap here.
05:34He would.
05:34He'd be dead.
05:34He'd be shot and killed.
05:36He'd be dead.
05:36Especially at a gym when you're all hyped up and pumped up like that.
05:39Yeah.
05:39Yeah.
05:41Seen a middle-aged guy waxing his b-hole in the big mirror.
05:45Why wouldn't you?
05:45Police were called.
05:47They did nothing.
05:48What?
05:49Well, what are they going to do?
05:51They have to, like, check his butthole and stuff?
05:52I don't know.
05:53And be like, is he the one?
05:54Like, they're like, no, man, sorry.
05:56So I guess you're not breaking a law.
05:58If you're in a locker room, I mean.
06:00I guess you're allowed to be nude in there, right?
06:02Right.
06:02So you're not breaking a law.
06:05If you were, you know, intimidating someone or harassing someone, that's different.
06:08Is there a level of nudity that's different between my butt cheeks and my open butt cheeks?
06:16No, right?
06:17If you're not sexually gratifying yourself, right?
06:19If there's no arousal or intimidation, I think then that's why.
06:24Nothing happened to them.
06:25And you could shave if you wanted to, right?
06:27Like at the sink?
06:28Of course.
06:28So if you can shave your face, why can't you shave your butthole?
06:33Yeah.
06:35That's probably what they deduced, right?
06:37They were like, oh, my God, what a loophole.
06:39And I wish we never said this because now those locker rooms are going to be full of people
06:44waxing their buttholes.
06:45Oh, yeah.
06:46No, yeah.
06:46Unfortunately, we apologize for any butthole waxers you see.
06:51Did you just hear what I heard?
06:53Oh, my God.
06:55Oh, yeah.
06:55To the gym.
06:56They've got their little text groups.
06:58Oh, they're all firing off messages.
07:00Workout group.
07:01Yeah.
07:01Oh, my God.
07:04Once saw an elderly man in the locker room with as much hair on his back as a silverback
07:08gorilla.
07:08Welcome.
07:09Well, he put his foot up on the bench to cut his toenails.
07:13They were the size of jumbo shrimp.
07:15Jesus, God.
07:16Still in my memory from 15 years ago.
07:19The toenails were or the toes were?
07:21I feel like his toenails were.
07:22Toenails.
07:22His toenails were the size of jumbo shrimp.
07:24Yeah, they probably did that curl thing.
07:26Oh, Jesus, God.
07:27That's disgusting.
07:28Yeah.
07:30There's nothing more horrible than the sound of somebody doing their toenails.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:35It's the last thing I would want to see, too.
07:38Went in South Korea.
07:39I went to a gym.
07:41Naked guys eating hard-boiled eggs everywhere.
07:44You're welcome.
07:45It's so gross.
07:46There's nothing more gross than that.
07:48Imagine that smell.
07:49Imagine that smell.
07:50Just the chomping.
07:51Just the chomp.
07:52They take a big chomp.
07:53Naked men eating hard-boiled eggs.
07:56That's like a nightmare.
07:57You've never had that fantasy?
07:58No.
07:58No.
07:59Not even close.
08:01I feel like you could get information out of somebody.
08:03That's like waterboarding.
08:03Oh, yeah.
08:04Put them in a room like that.
08:05Let them walk that.
08:06A sauna of naked older men eating hard-boiled eggs.
08:10I'll tell you everything.
08:11Yeah.
08:11I'll leave you in there.
08:1230 seconds.
08:13We'll talk.
08:14Women's Gym Locker Room saw a woman in her 60s brushing her large lady bush.
08:20Just standing there naked, brushing her bush.
08:23I like to buff it out.
08:25It's like a blowout.
08:27Like a bouffant.
08:28I love what it's called.
08:29I'd have to get like shock therapy after that.
08:31I'd have to get that out of my brain.
08:33That's crazy.
08:33Come on.
08:34Yeah.
08:35I never imagined brushing a bush.
08:37I like to make it have volume.
08:38Yeah.
08:39All right.
08:40Listen, if I saw really like a much older woman brushing her bush,
08:44I don't know if I'd speak again.
08:47No.
08:48You can mute.
08:50I don't know why, but in my mind, I just picture that lady,
08:53the old lady from my Titanic.
08:55Yeah.
08:55Exactly.
08:56Not the heart of the ocean, lady.
08:57That's who it is.
08:58No.
08:59I can see that.
08:59Yeah.
09:00She does.
09:00Yeah.
09:01It's in the shape of a heart, too.
09:03Right.
09:03Which is awful.
09:05And then this one, guy snapped a towel, split open another guy's scrotum.
09:11Like, why are we doing this, guys?
09:13Because there's something wrong with you.
09:14I know.
09:15You're like a little into dudes if you're snapping a towel.
09:17Of course you are.
09:18If you want locker room horseplay, you kind of want to touch a guy.
09:23That's so weird.
09:25Yeah.
09:25It is.
09:26Yep.
09:27It is.
09:27But if somebody snapped my ball sack open, I don't know what I'd do to you.
09:31Kill you.
09:32Yeah.
09:32Well, I mean, first you pass out.
09:34Right.
09:34You got to get that thing stitched back up.
09:36Once it's taken care of, you're dead.
09:38Yeah.
09:39Oh.
09:40I'm upset.
09:40Well, hopefully if you're heading to the gym today, you see none of that,
09:44especially an old lady eating soup.
09:46Yeah.
09:46That's disturbing.
09:47Yeah.
09:47Not great.
09:49I never imagined anything like that.