Are you being authentic?
With Brent Branker
With Brent Branker
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Manhood, brought to you in part by Reboot Sports Drink.
00:09Welcome to another conversation on manhood.
00:12Always a pleasure to be here, along with my colleagues, friends, fellow men,
00:16to discuss, to discuss opinions, to enlighten if we can, to provoke thought,
00:23but always with the intent of being a better self.
00:26So, today's topic, are you being authentic?
00:31Are you your authentic self? Are men authentic?
00:34Are men supposed to be authentic?
00:36What is your thoughts? Is it based on truth?
00:39But to discuss that, let's get right into it.
00:42Johan Seayodike, to my right, behavior change consultant.
00:46To his right, Brent Branca, social media influencer, food critic, friend,
00:52Nile, Meknesh, provocateur, vibes god, influencer.
01:00You know, I'm trying to make sure it rings, you know what I mean?
01:02Like when people see you on the road, they go, hey, provocateur, boy, vibes god.
01:07Most people don't know what provocateur actually means.
01:09But they will, they will eventually.
01:11It's like self-explanatory.
01:12Yeah, correct.
01:13So, manhood, again, are you being your authentic self?
01:19Are you being a real man?
01:21And by real, is it real authentic?
01:24So, when we go on starting with...
01:26Or real being traditional?
01:27So, authentic, authentic is many things.
01:29Are you being true to yourself?
01:31Are you being true to others?
01:33Are you all smoke and mirrors?
01:35Cloak and dagger?
01:36Are you several different persons with several different people?
01:40How are you showing up?
01:43Do you care?
01:45Are you empathetic?
01:46There's so many.
01:48And again, there's no specificity to it.
01:52All right.
01:52Well, let me see if I could bring some specificity.
01:55Specificity.
01:57Is it important as a man to be authentic?
02:00Let me study.
02:01As a man, not just as a person.
02:03As a man, is it important to be authentic?
02:06And we could say it with a resounding...
02:07There's a gender difference?
02:08We could say it with a resounding, yes.
02:09Well, we're using gender difference first because we're here.
02:13Right.
02:13Right?
02:13In manhood, we're using man.
02:14So, as a man, why is it important to be authentic?
02:18And I would say, yes, of course it is.
02:20And why is it important?
02:21Because let's start first with you alone.
02:24Outside of our family, you are a personal individual.
02:27If you want to be able to lead yourself and be the person you want to be and live a fulfilling life, then being yourself is important.
02:37Because even though sometimes who you are authentically may rub somebody the wrong way or somebody may disagree with it or may cause a conflict, if you acquiesce to them or submit to them, then you wouldn't feel fulfilled.
02:55You'll be walking around just a shadow of yourself.
02:57So, I really want to wear blue, but everybody don't like blue, so I will wear red instead.
03:04Now, according to everyone, I am cool, but according to me, I really don't like it.
03:10And I could spend so much time being cool or satisfying others that I no longer know who I am.
03:20So, this is really sounding like it's an ego issue for men.
03:25The ego determines whether or not you're real or authentic or you're being inauthentic, right?
03:33For men.
03:34I find that sounds tiring.
03:35Because, in fact, it sounds tiring.
03:38It'll tire you out eventually because, like he says, you're always trying to mask with what they want and what the ideal is.
03:43But isn't that what men do generally?
03:45Like, when we're broken on the inside, do we tell our girlfriends that we're having problems?
03:51No.
03:52What is that?
03:53Is that being authentic or inauthentic?
03:54No, it's being inauthentic.
03:55It is lying.
03:58It's perceived ideal.
03:59No, but as a man, though, you don't want your guilt to shoulder those issues that you're having, hence why you're keeping it from her.
04:11Isn't that what a man's supposed to do in that situation?
04:13So, one of the things that I wanted to bring up, and, of course, I was chatting to Brent before.
04:16Make sure it's on topic, eh?
04:18Before we start.
04:20A fee in here.
04:20A fee in here, right.
04:21So, yeah.
04:22Before I was interrupted there, right?
04:24Yeah.
04:26My partner.
04:29We had this discussion before we started about, you know, as we talked about authenticity and being within your authentic self.
04:36You know, you just said there that men don't share their problems, right?
04:41And I think, again, that in itself, coming from men, is also stereotypical to also what women say with regards to an outlook of men.
04:50So, you know, like, case in point, you being a food critic, Brent, you know, you always hear people say, or people say, the weight of a man's heart is through his belly, right?
05:00And for me, I would say, well, that's not the weight of my heart.
05:04I enjoy good food.
05:05But it's a stereotype.
05:07Women, even other men, generalize with other men.
05:11And women, particularly to men, may have an understanding of that's what a man is.
05:17Or if you're not doing that, you are less of a man, or that's not what a man does.
05:21And I wonder, when we come back to that authenticity, just like we said, men don't share their problems.
05:27I talk to people.
05:30I don't have an issue if I have an issue in communicating it.
05:33Hence the show.
05:34We're on the show on a weekly basis talking about issues and things that we face.
05:40So, again, am I being less authentic?
05:43Is I being general?
05:44Well, we, one, this is a very rare situation to see.
05:50We've seen podcasts before and different conversations, but we specifically talk about male issues.
05:56And to go back to, you said that you, do you actually talk to your girlfriend or wife?
06:04Whichever wife.
06:04Which is different to talking to your boys about it, huh?
06:09Yeah.
06:09And, you know, that, again, is a generalization because I would quicker, Brent, or guys, I would quicker speak to sometimes, and, again, I mean, it's probably, it's a bit early in the segment or the show to talk about these things.
06:23But I was discussing with another brethren the other day that I would love to have a closer relationship with my brother.
06:30But I find when the real issues come up or real hard things like the pastor, my father, or some issues that he may be going through now, I'm not connecting.
06:39I'm not there going, hey, brother, you know, I'm here for you.
06:44Let's talk about this almost like, you have an issue?
06:47Let me handle affairs, the bigger brother.
06:49And just get it done.
06:51But I'm not connecting.
06:53I'm not embracing.
06:54I'm not sharing that cry.
06:56Why?
06:56You know?
06:57That's the question.
06:58You don't know, as in, in a reach, you want to in your heart, but when it's time to execute, you're having difficulty.
07:05Yeah, and I wonder why.
07:06Like, why am I not sharing with our brethren, like, hey, you know, I'm really going through this.
07:10Can I open up?
07:11It's not.
07:12It's like, it's like, you might come by me, we might have a drink, we might have a sit down, and that somehow is helping the healing process.
07:22But we haven't, I haven't ventilated, I haven't unzipped.
07:25Actually, you haven't deep dived at all.
07:27I haven't done anything.
07:27The thing is, I'm still internalizing, but I know that you're there.
07:30It's almost like I'm not alone.
07:32But you know, they have that saying as well, you know, you feel alone in a room full of people.
07:36And I ask myself sometimes, why?
07:39But there are instances where I could probably share with another woman certain things.
07:44Okay, all right.
07:46All right.
07:46Interesting.
07:47I'll give it from a personal perspective, right?
07:49Okay.
07:49I would preach to men to make sure and open up, right?
07:56Make sure and speak.
07:57Not to everybody, but someone you feel safe with.
07:58And if you don't feel safe, come to a professional like myself.
08:01But there are many instances where I going through something and I need to reach out to our brethren and I find it difficult and I have to coach myself to actually speak.
08:13And even while speaking to them and being open, I find myself feeling funny.
08:17Like if something's wrong now, right?
08:20And then he say, well, you answer, I hear for you, you know, you could call me 10 times a day.
08:25And I say, okay.
08:26And I hang up the phone and let's say an hour, I feel like to talk to him again.
08:29But then he now tell me, call him, you know, and I would do the same for Bridgen and really he could call me.
08:36But me now doing it.
08:37And when I analyze it, I realize one is programming, what I was told all the time and what I've seen around that my brain got accustomed to and now trying to break out of.
08:50And then two also, ego, because what he might think, he might think of harassing him.
08:55Next thing he pretend, he rarely listen, but you know, all those things.
09:00And I would crong it off to have programming, have ego, but also it came down to even my self-worth.
09:07Because I didn't think I was worthy enough for somebody to even want to listen to me like that.
09:13Now, I would do it for them, and I think they're worthy, but I didn't think I was worthy.
09:16You said something, they're harassing.
09:18And I was with you up until I heard the harassing.
09:22Now, they may feel like we're not really, you know, I said, you know, like somebody says, come by me anytime or feel free.
09:28I extended a courtesy.
09:29Yeah, extended a courtesy is really, it's being polite, right?
09:33But there are people, like you said, that genuinely will be there if you reach out to them.
09:38But for me, I wouldn't want, calling that person, I am feeling worse, I think sometimes, in having that conversation.
09:47Depends on what the topic is.
09:48They think you're bothering them.
09:49In that embarrassment.
09:50So, you're talking to someone, but you're like, am I bothering you?
09:56So, you're not harassed.
09:57They don't feel that you're harassing them, but you feel to yourself that you're almost like, why am I whining?
10:03Why am I bitching?
10:04Why am I even in this state?
10:07How did I get here?
10:08Why do I feel like this?
10:09Why do I feel like this?
10:10But that may be based on your expectation of why you're doing it in the first place.
10:14Are you expecting them to help you solve this problem?
10:18Or you just need a shoulder.
10:20Well, exactly.
10:20Do you just need a shoulder for somebody to, you let them out and you don't expect anything in return?
10:25And then you might overthink, like what he was saying, that you're actually not thinking of, wait, am I doing this?
10:30Am I doing that?
10:31Do I expect them?
10:31What do they think about me telling them this?
10:33You know?
10:34It's like, are you just purely saying, hey, you know, we just go down real good.
10:38Here this, now I need to get off my mind.
10:39Yeah.
10:39You know?
10:40And can you trust?
10:40It's not pure enough like that.
10:42It can't just be pure like that.
10:43But can you trust, Brent?
10:44Yeah.
10:45That you release, you know, every brethren have a brethren.
10:48Right.
10:48And you've now exhaled, you've now ventilated, and had that conversation.
10:55And then they go now to their next bread, and they're like, hey, well, you know, so now tell me X, Y, and Z.
11:02So is it all of those things that then make us, coming back to the topic, authentic?
11:07Because what I then put in front of you, I'm now putting up a facade.
11:12I'm now putting up a wall.
11:13I'm now pretending.
11:14All of these different things, which means whether consciously or subconsciously, I'm not being my authentic self.
11:20Correct.
11:20And we come back to the why.
11:23Robert, you saying that helped me realize how deeply wounded as men we are.
11:28For real?
11:29Like in here, in the conversation, I'm like, yo.
11:30You saying that, I'm feeling sad and okay.
11:33You really?
11:34Yeah.
11:34Because that means if so much going on, and I'm not saying this happens with every man all the time.
11:40But you've experienced it, I've experienced it.
11:42I don't know if, Brent, you've experienced it.
11:43But I have.
11:44For sure.
11:44So if four of us, that means a lot of us men experiencing it.
11:48And it means that we put ourselves first, because it's our own thoughts over thinking.
11:54We put ourselves in a cage, right?
11:56And then also, let's say, influences from society and programming also put us in a cage.
12:01So we have an external cage and an internal cage.
12:04So one, again, highlighting how precious it is that we even have in something like this.
12:10Because me, from every episode I've been here at Manhood, it has helped me.
12:14It's like practice speaking up a little more, being more authentic self.
12:19And I really hope that those who are viewing also and listening, that even if it's a half a percent at a time,
12:26you'll be able to be more of your authentic self.
12:29Because the importance of that is, you worry, you know, you worry, you worry, and I worry.
12:37But sometimes we don't even believe it.
12:40So just being a sexual, we're thinking, if I tell my girl my problem, she might use it against me.
12:45She might think her weak.
12:46All them thoughts we're thinking versus Jess, baby, I'm sad.
12:50Baby, I'm angry.
12:52Now, how she reacted, you can't predict that.
12:54But if she reacted in a way that is unsafe for you, then that's information to know maybe she's not the one.
12:59But we can't keep hiding and strategizing and trying to figure out, because then, one, as you were saying before, it will be tiring.
13:07Yeah, that's a heavy burden for you to keep going.
13:09It is.
13:09The other thing that you get, guys, is when you communicate, and again, this all ties into authenticity.
13:19You know, we promise we'll all come together.
13:21That when you communicate with someone, two things most of the time happen, because they themselves aren't being their authentic self to you.
13:31They're putting a figure, they're putting a position, but that's not necessarily how they're, if you could really read their mind.
13:39So two things are coming.
13:40Either verbally, someone says, well, I'm feeling real sick.
13:44Like, well, most of the time you get a response, but I'm real sick too.
13:47You know, I feel like I get any fever myself, I get a headache.
13:49And you realize that they've totally disregarded what you said.
13:53The fact that nobody's saying that they're not a nurse or a doctor, but my point is at least the acknowledgement of, hey, this person was the first to communicate this.
14:03Let me acknowledge it, let me show some sort of empathy, whatever the subject may be, right, and then let's move forward and then hold back.
14:11Maybe, you know, they say, talk and repeat yourself, listen and learn something, right?
14:16And so when you're having that conversation with someone, sometimes you learn more by listening.
14:25Because by talking, you already know what you're speaking about.
14:27And so there's that aspect of it when you're sharing with someone.
14:34And the other aspect is while you're sharing, they may not say anything, but what they're doing is they're saying, why are you real glad?
14:41That's not me, but, you know.
14:43So, in other words, subconsciously, they're not really connected to what you're saying.
14:49They're connected to the fact that, hey, better you than me.
14:52And therefore, what their mannerisms, and again, you know, as I said that word there, you know, mannerisms, you know, I'm sure there's some connection as to why they call that.
15:02But with that being said, you know, are they really being the authentic self when they're even listening to you, so consciously or subconsciously?
15:13Yes, they're being the authentic self because the fact is they're authentically saying, I'm glad it's not me.
15:18Now, you raising that, Robert, is really important.
15:21That's a good point, yeah.
15:23Because the truth is we could only be ourselves, you know.
15:27We're always trying all of these strategies.
15:30Just be yourself.
15:31When you be yourself, someone else reacts.
15:34So even if they react in that way, well, one, they make themselves the center of it.
15:39So you say you're sick and they say, well, you know, I was sick yesterday and I'm more sick.
15:42That is information to you that maybe that's the wrong person to talk to.
15:45Because, and my wife had introduced us to this book.
15:50Well, Johan, say, before you say talk about the book, it might be that at that point, you have come to the point that, hey, I really need to purge.
15:59I really need to exhale.
16:01And that's the person you decide to do it with.
16:03And then you have to realize now that that person is not the person to have that conversation with.
16:08And you might go back in a hole.
16:09Right.
16:09So that's exactly what I was going to say.
16:11She had introduced me to this book.
16:13And the book talked about vulnerability.
16:15And vulnerability is a, I would say, is a risk.
16:18Because when you're vulnerable, you don't know how the person reacts.
16:21And I think you had highlighted, Brent, when you were saying what is the expectation of the person.
16:26Now, the thing is we should not, not that we can't because we do, but we should not have expectations of how somebody should respond.
16:33Versus this is just me.
16:34Let me see how they respond so I know this is a safe space.
16:37So vulnerability is like investing, a gamble.
16:42And I guess life is a gamble because you being yourself, you don't know how people react in general.
16:46So what I'm saying is, yes, be your authentic self, but being your authentic self is a gamble.
16:51So you shouldn't have any expectations.
16:53And with that, we expect a break now.
16:56I was just going to say, speaking about books.
16:59We're not closing the chapter.
17:01We're just putting our bookmark.
17:02Right.
17:02And we're coming back after the break.
17:07Welcome back to manhood.
17:17We're discussing vulnerability and vulnerability as it relates to being a man.
17:22And before the break, I was making a point that sometimes vulnerability, at least most of the times, actually, vulnerability is a risk, is an investment.
17:32Because when you be vulnerable with someone, whether it is male or female, there's a possibility that they may not react in the way you may want them to.
17:39So you're saying you should not have expectations.
17:42Now, Brent, in your experience, in your field, tell me about the difference that you've noticed between men and women in terms of being the authentic self and being or even being vulnerable.
17:54Well, boy, I mean, first of all, everybody knows social media is like, am I watching for entertainment?
18:01Is this real?
18:02Is it not?
18:03Right.
18:03So even when you start off the bat there.
18:06I have found that mostly, and I mean, if you just look at the information, it's not like me just saying it, but like the stats, the data, right?
18:17Here in Trinidad, not globally, you find a lot more men doing a lot more with their platforms.
18:24They're out there more and more viral, all these different things, right?
18:26And you're always asking like, well, okay, cool, but, and they have a female version of this.
18:31And not that they copy and what you're doing or whatever, but everybody have the genre and whatnot.
18:36And one thing has always struck me in just looking at the actual, yeah, the videos and pictures and all these different things is staging and stylizing.
18:50Women always have a, I need to look this way, I need to sound this way, I need to be among my peers that I have the best there, so I'm sounding the best way.
19:00And men, historically and currently, I should say, are always like, well, I'm just out there.
19:05I'm just going to put myself out there.
19:06And I'm studying what color jackets I wear and I'm sitting there if I made up my hair, I get up any morning, I'm looking rough.
19:13Let me just do this video.
19:14You know, you don't always, I mean, to a degree, you might say, okay, I'll need myself a little bit, but you're not going as far as a woman would.
19:21Right.
19:21And that might leak into their storyline.
19:24That might leak into the content.
19:26And I don't know if it is just that or if that is part of it.
19:33But you just being, like you said, you being yourself, the guy, just, yeah, fellas, well, this is me and this is what I'm going to do today and thing, thing, thing, versus, I'm saying.
19:42I mean, their version of it, like it must look ideal, it must look perfect, you know, and you don't know.
19:50They have people who will follow them, but it's for what or listen to them, but it's for what?
19:54Is it for the content itself or is it for what they portray versus the men?
19:59So let me just see if I can just recap that.
20:01So based on what you're saying is that the data shows that male content, specifically for influencers in Trinidad.
20:10Content that males make, not necessarily male content.
20:13Correct.
20:13Okay, content that males make.
20:15Thank you for that.
20:16And I'll even make it even smaller, specifically to the food industry.
20:22Even specifically to the food.
20:23And the content that males make in the food space do well or trend better than what the women do in the same field.
20:33Is that an accurate statement?
20:35Yes.
20:36And there are some examples where you will have like one-off videos.
20:40Now, when I talk about content creation, I talk about people who do this all the time.
20:44Because like we say, like on TikTok, a girl and her girlfriends might go out and they talk about food they had somewhere and the video does well.
20:53I ask them to do that over and over and over again.
20:55No, the video might not do great.
20:57It was specific to that one time that they went somewhere and they would say, oh my God, this place is horrible, etc.
21:02There's a certain amount of specificity with the content that makes it go.
21:07But like asking somebody to do it over and over and over and over is like they're going to start, and I'm sure this will happen, they will start to say, oh, I need to perfect this.
21:15I need to make this better.
21:16I need to try a little too hard, I think.
21:19So is it that you're saying that, you know, because there's always, bringing it back to food, you know, they say some of the best chefs in the world are males.
21:27I've heard that before.
21:29Well, if you think of, you know, you talk about Wolfgang Puck.
21:34No, but is it going to be just male names that they're thinking of?
21:36No, but I'm just saying that, but generally.
21:38And then why is it hard to remember anything else?
21:40Yeah, you wouldn't remember.
21:41Think about that a lot.
21:42Because even the guy with the salt and all those food is men, I think, not women.
21:48But Michelin chefs, generally, right, the majority of the, not just the popular names, but chefs, the best chefs.
21:57And again, this is not very specific, that chefs, males are the best chefs, right?
22:06That's a very, very, very strong statement they're making.
22:08No, no, I'm saying to you that, recognize the popularity, we're not saying that they are, right?
22:13Because most, most of the chefs I know are female and they're excellent, right?
22:19So, Abigail, you know, so therefore, the, I'm saying to you that, that, is it that, trying to kind of bring myself out of the world?
22:32No, because I want to be very clear, this is not...
22:36But you, once again, it's based on data, so it's what is out there, what is available.
22:39It's not an opinion.
22:40It's not my opinion.
22:41It's what is available to you.
22:42Correct.
22:42And you can only act on that.
22:43Correct.
22:44So, is it that, based on that, that the TikToks, the Instagrams, those things that come out,
22:52is it that women are playing it too safe, or is it that it's just that males in the environment,
23:00so for whether it's women or men, the gender gravitates to the male videos,
23:09or is it because you think they're playing too safe?
23:11I just want to make sure that we clarify what we're saying with regards to your opinion.
23:17And it's like, we didn't decide this.
23:19The people decide these things as anything.
23:22So, like, for instance, I've always been amused, ever since I started this,
23:25and to this day, it hasn't changed by much.
23:27Majority of my following is female.
23:30And there's a small amount of male followers.
23:32And I say, like, two-thirds to one-third.
23:34Right.
23:35You understand?
23:35Real girl!
23:36Yeah.
23:37So, I just, you know what I mean, I...
23:38But they love food.
23:39Yeah, correct.
23:40And a lot of, there's a lot of people who you'll talk to and, like, yeah, my boyfriend is real cook.
23:46This, my husband is real cook.
23:48I, myself, I could just cook to save my life, but I can't put down her, you know?
23:52Yeah.
23:52My wife is the one who does only proper cooking at home.
23:55And that's how I appreciate taste, because I know what I'm looking for.
23:59That's why you always have a hungry belly.
24:00You understand?
24:01You see, so I hear in her pattern, I hear in her pattern, which is, because I'm not too familiar to a concept,
24:08but tell me, is it that you are the person tasting the food?
24:12Correct.
24:12Right.
24:13What, even me thinking when it is, when you were speaking, Robert, if I was to look at a channel that's speaking about taste,
24:23I want to see a man tasting.
24:25Why?
24:26So, that's what I was thinking about.
24:27Right, let me hear.
24:28Because when a man eating food, something about, I have no science for this, right?
24:34Something about it seems more real than a woman eating.
24:37No, no, no, I tell you, this is my, no, no, no, this is my opinion.
24:41I'm real okay with saying my opinion here, right?
24:45Something about eating, the man eating the food seems more authentic to me.
24:50A woman a little more coordinated, because I'm thinking about female channels where I've seen women eating and tasting, right?
24:56I listen less about the taste versus if they talk about the aesthetic.
25:03So, if they say, you know, there's a nice ambience, whatever, I want to hear that from a woman.
25:07Because in my, let's say it could be my programming or my stereotype.
25:10Oh, we're just going to take care of the programming.
25:11Right?
25:11You are the better judge for that.
25:12So, I hear a new woman about the aesthetic.
25:15So, if you say, we find a new spot in Trinidad, it's really secluded, it's really nice ambience.
25:18I listen to a woman.
25:20But then when a man say, the food, that is a good thing, they think I listen to him now about that.
25:26So, this is my own opinion, but if we go in with stats, because the stats is, even women want to see men taste the food.
25:35If you go in with that.
25:36Right, if you go in with the stats.
25:37We have to assume that's why, yes.
25:38Right?
25:39And let's go back with the authenticity part of it, right?
25:42I think, think, not know for sure, that when a man eating food, he's be honest.
25:48Because, I'm going to say food tastes important to a man, but I would assume it's important to a woman too.
25:55So, I'm wondering, the stereotype comes in here, our programming.
26:00You know, when we think about it, you know, there was, and it's an unfair statement, but it's something that we have seen, you know, in movies, in TV, brought up, you know, a woman, you know, it's a woman who's cooking.
26:12Right?
26:13And, therefore, if you're thinking that, okay, well, a man sitting now is a man is being served.
26:18He's the one who tastes it.
26:19He's the one who's tasting.
26:21And also, you know, again, as we mentioned about.
26:23That's interesting.
26:23About being unafraid to really express yourself.
26:28You know, you'll see a man going, oh, my God, this is great and gravy falling.
26:32You're not really going to see a woman who's. . .
26:35They're particular about it.
26:37They're particular, you know, with all the juicy ribs and all that falling.
26:39So, as the provocateur, not a culture, right?
26:42Right, right.
26:42Again, there's some brass tacks here.
26:44Is it being said that, based on the data, right, women are not being as authentic to themselves that men usually are, especially in social media.
26:59And, hence, that authenticity is being felt or seen by the larger demographic.
27:04And, in other words, people are not responding to inauthentic stuff.
27:08Wait, let me add to that for conversation.
27:11We are responsible for that, as in men and also women.
27:18Because you always hear women say, you could go out in that pair of jeans or that t-shirt to three or four parties.
27:26If that woman goes in the same outfit to three or four parties, males are probably less likely to go, anyway, she's wearing the same thing.
27:36It's the women that are going to say, she's wearing the same thing again, mom, she's no beard or she's not what she thinks.
27:42But, again, I think all of that, in all aspects, are as a result of why they are programmed to now play it safe in these environments.
27:53Because they're more open to scrutiny, those levels of scrutiny.
27:59By each other.
27:59By each other.
28:00It's funny, yeah.
28:01And, by doing that, that woman may also relate to their man or in their environment and say, is this one supposed to wear the same dress again?
28:10Or, didn't she wear this?
28:11Because they're looking now for...
28:13So, you're saying that...
28:13But, hold on now, before I continue on now.
28:15It's funny you said that.
28:17I know, once again, I was going to say earlier that I have that bad thing where I listen to respond like a lot of people.
28:23Right.
28:23I really listen to what you say.
28:25And before I came here, my wife is always, and I'm not afraid to say it, help me pick up.
28:29No clothes.
28:30Because I'd be like, I'll go with it.
28:32And she'd be like, nah, let me change your pants.
28:34Or something like that.
28:35So, she come out this morning, had that hang up there, so I'm going to iron it.
28:39She's like, hold on, you wore that red polo on TV before?
28:44And I said, well, let me start with when last I was on TV.
28:46It's been a while.
28:47I don't think we need to worry about that.
28:49She's like, all right.
28:50It's the fact that she even monitored that, right?
28:52Because they monitor it.
28:54We're not studying it, that's so much.
28:56I'll wear the same black pants probably.
28:58So, every single time I come in the garden, who knows?
29:00Right.
29:01I'm not different polo on that.
29:02I cool it up.
29:03I'm not studying that.
29:04In my head, I already know camera is mostly hair.
29:06Oh, sorry.
29:07Camera is mostly hair.
29:08You know, all these different things.
29:10But that's like our peripheral.
29:11You're not putting too much thought into it.
29:13Yeah.
29:14I wore this polo on this pair of jeans in the last episode.
29:16So, it really...
29:18But not putting too much thought into it.
29:21Is that what you think?
29:23Because you're thinking of the wrong thing.
29:25That's what's leading to the authenticity for you.
29:27Right.
29:28It is.
29:28Because when I come in here, again, not only expectations, but what is the idea of what
29:32I come in here to talk about?
29:34And I come in here to worry about how I was looking.
29:37I need to look neat, presentable.
29:39Don't have holes in your jersey.
29:40Because that's just social norms.
29:43You know what I mean?
29:44I'm kidding.
29:44That's your jacket.
29:45Yeah, I'm kidding.
29:46Now, your shirt.
29:47Let me see the shirt.
29:47It might have holes in it.
29:48But to me, the idea of being authentic, when I came here, is to talk about manhood and
29:55man-related issues.
29:57Render not your garments.
29:58Not guys, when I come here to talk about this, you must look like this also when you're
30:03talking about these things.
30:04So, can we easily go into, as men, we identify that there's a male privilege that we have that
30:12we're probably unaware of?
30:14Yes.
30:14Now, you wouldn't know.
30:15Before we get into that, we have a female, a women's, sorry, I apologize, a women's talk
30:22show called Our View.
30:24And the difference in the preparation the women make to come on the show and how they
30:29look is totally different to when we come and we sit down here.
30:34I don't get any guests asking, what's your dress code?
30:38Right?
30:38They just, hey, listen.
30:40I come in.
30:40I come in as I am.
30:42You know what I mean?
30:43You're like, nobody's, and again, we come down to, but you see, listen, that's a good
30:48thing.
30:48Listen.
30:49He buzzed.
30:49No, I don't know.
30:50I'm chilling.
30:51I really didn't hear it.
30:52Yeah.
30:52Listen, the truth is the truth.
30:54Men and women are different.
30:55And I think we should appreciate it.
30:59Sometimes we men want women to think like us and women want men to think like them.
31:04Versus let me just be authentic self now.
31:08Let me just be our authentic self.
31:10You want to come in a red polo because you comfortable in that every time you like this
31:16polo so you buy a black, you buy a red, you buy a red.
31:18I just like polos.
31:18If you understand what I'm saying, you just come with that because to you, let's say the
31:23look is less important than what you're coming to see in this moment.
31:27But for women, it could be that the look is as important.
31:33And nothing wrong with that because if that's the nature of women, I like to look at women.
31:37Women look good.
31:39Right?
31:39That's the difference.
31:40They could be more aesthetic features.
31:42If men, we are different.
31:44It just does the difference.
31:45Let's not try to be who we're not versus being who we are.
31:52I mean, and digest the capital.
31:54That's all I close the nuggets there, boy.
31:55No, no.
31:56We are more nuggets.
31:57I know you have more.
31:57We're going to the break just now, but we are more nuggets.
32:00You bring it back.
32:00You bring it back.
32:01And just the capital, you used the word privilege before, and I'll say no to that.
32:06Yeah, why?
32:07I don't really like the word privilege versus, I know I'll forget the word.
32:12You know, let's call it double standard or just difference.
32:17It's that men could wear the same thing more than once and nobody bataille.
32:21That is just, it's not a privilege, it's just how it is with men.
32:24That's a privilege.
32:25Why is it a privilege?
32:27Because the alternatives that we do have to wear the same thing every time.
32:32Now, I want to jump there because we need to go to a break, but we also have to take
32:39into consideration that it also depends on your circles.
32:43Because I also know certain circles, you wear the same thing among men.
32:47If you wear that several times, men will take note because there are men who want to wear
32:52jackets and so on.
32:53But we had to take a break.
32:54Got to take a break.
32:56Yeah.
32:56And when we're coming back, remember guys, the topic is on authenticity.
33:00So we talked about vulnerability, we talked about a couple things, but putting it all into
33:05the context, the authenticity.
33:07We'll be back.
33:19All right.
33:19Welcome back to our episode of Manhood today.
33:22What are here with my peers?
33:24And you know how these things go off the break?
33:26Yes.
33:26I have all like information flying.
33:28Spicy.
33:29Yeah.
33:29Spicy.
33:30And what I want to bring it back to, kind of like what we were talking about, the authenticity
33:34factor of things, of being yourself, you know, showing up and just being yourself.
33:38We were having a conversation there, Niall, about privilege versus male privilege.
33:44The same thing with the outfits and who caring less and if that bothers you or not.
33:48But you were saying something about it being a male privilege.
33:51Yeah.
33:52So what I was getting to, what I was trying to allude to was we as men have a privilege
33:56that is unseen and unfelt by society where we tend to forget that we could do a lot of
34:02things that women can't, you know, and case in point, like we could wear the same, like
34:06wear the same shirt and jeans and everything.
34:07No, you're saying can't.
34:08A woman could do it, but just it will be viewed differently.
34:11So that's what I'm saying, a privilege.
34:13You see how you say could and can't?
34:14A privilege is when you literally can't do it.
34:17But it's not that they can't.
34:18There are things, the only thing that women and men can't do is, I don't know, make a
34:23child.
34:24If you understand what I'm saying, be pregnant.
34:26A privilege in that sense is a miscontrol of the word.
34:29It's that it is viewed differently, which I agree.
34:31So therefore, if a woman, if I walk in with a woman and she's holding all the groceries,
34:37somebody will look at me like, warm to you, and say, why are you not helping and look
34:40at me as a bad guy?
34:42But it's not to say she can't hold the groceries, she has the ability to.
34:46So it's not a privilege versus something.
34:48I see if you understand what I'm saying.
34:49So let me clarify, because again, for the audience purposes and viewers and listeners,
34:56we're saying male privilege and privilege being two different things.
35:00One can be male privilege when you hear it in any context, and I'm open to discussion,
35:05in any context will always be a negative connotation, right?
35:10Privilege is not always negative.
35:12Because if I say I am privileged to be here on this set, so that's not a negative, right?
35:17You know, I have the privilege of doing X, Y, and Z, right?
35:21That's not necessarily negative, right?
35:23But when you say, if you say, well, he is privileged, and the way that you may communicate
35:28it, you might be communicating a negative meaning that he's getting away with things, or he
35:34born with a gold spoon in his mouth.
35:36Again, it depends on the way that you say it, where male privilege is always negative.
35:41And to Niall's point about clothes that you wear, it's not that women can't do it.
35:47It's that the perception is ingrained into us.
35:51We are programmed to think a particular way that if they do said task, if they do said action,
35:59it will be felt determined or perceived in a particular way.
36:04So, it is a male privilege, being negative, is that we don't, we're not subjected to
36:10that level of scrutiny of, um...
36:14By our peers.
36:15By our peers.
36:16Peers, not peers.
36:17I would say by women.
36:18This is not a man thing.
36:19Because if I see a woman in her dress and I like it, wear it again, because I want to
36:23see it again.
36:23Agreed.
36:24That's not a man thing, you know.
36:25That's a woman thing.
36:26So, even using that word privilege, and he said we, we don't share that view as men and
36:31women, you know.
36:32And we're going back...
36:32It's still in the context of male privilege, though.
36:34Whether, whether it's a woman, whether it's a woman's outlook on, on, you know, on their
36:39own peers, it is still considered male privilege.
36:42So, male privilege...
36:44Listen, we could argue semantics.
36:45It is not a privilege.
36:47Privilege, in its sense of the word, is that is not correct.
36:50Because a privilege means that she can't do it, but she could just be viewed differently.
36:54No, you're not.
36:54So, therefore, it's not a privilege.
36:55Because what I'm saying to you is male privilege, guys, remember these are new phrases.
37:03So, like, masculine energy, toxic masculinity.
37:06Male privilege is just another one that's added to the list, right?
37:11So, we're not looking at dictionary meaning here.
37:13We're looking at the, you know...
37:15Societal norms and understandings of what is considered male.
37:18What's the other thing is alpha male, what's the other one?
37:19Okay.
37:20Beta, sigma.
37:21Sigma male and all these different things.
37:22All right.
37:22But these are all new nuances to what you knew back in the day that was just strict.
37:27This is the dictionary and this is what it is.
37:29Great.
37:30So, I love that you bring that up, right?
37:32Because if it's a new meaning, therefore, we don't have a fixed meaning for it.
37:36The meaning of it could kind of go with the tide, right?
37:39Which, of course, let me tie that back into authenticity.
37:42So, if I have to try to frigging figure out what mean by this and what Niall mean by this
37:47and what Brent mean by this, then how do you...
37:50If I want to be meaner, if you understand what I'm saying where you're coming from,
37:53how do you...
37:54Then, if I try to fit into a paradigm of a society, then I'll get up because I don't
38:01know how to be.
38:02If you understand what I'm saying.
38:03Because if I have to fit into your mold or if I go in Arima, it's different.
38:08If I go in Potterspin, it's different.
38:09And that's why I'm glad we're talking about it.
38:11But that's the reality.
38:12Yeah.
38:13That's the reality of what we're facing all the time.
38:15Men, just decide.
38:17Listen, decide who you are.
38:18It has real people who wouldn't like it.
38:20People who think it's privileged.
38:21People who think it's not privileged.
38:22People who think something's wrong with it.
38:24People who think nothing's wrong with it.
38:25And that's why when you're saying that when certain men do content, you feel it more
38:31because a lot of the time, I'm just making something.
38:33I like how it tastes and I'm making it.
38:36And even though sometimes they may not agree with it, you just...
38:39People, listen, people are so starved for authenticity now that just seeing somebody
38:45authentic, that is what it's getting views, you know.
38:48Right?
38:48Yeah.
38:48And if you go even with women, women who are not trying hard or trying anything, they
38:54will get the views.
38:54And sometimes there's TV here that the woman who are trying to be objectively beautiful.
38:58And it happens.
38:58It happens.
38:59Yeah.
38:59Exactly.
39:00So there's a wonderful conversation.
39:03You want to hear a twist on that though?
39:05Tell me.
39:05Go ahead.
39:05Here's a twist because once again, expectations, right?
39:08Programming.
39:10The funny thing is like with my wife, Noah and I, there's like almost like three subtopics
39:15I got to talk about here.
39:16But videos tend, well, when I kind of started to, you know, diversify the content before
39:23the baby reach and everything, people prefer when she was in the videos with me versus me
39:28doing it by myself.
39:29Okay.
39:29It started to like to see that.
39:32She now is somebody who's very, it's funny.
39:35So she would talk about the clothing, but in the same breath, she's like, this thing have
39:39to look real.
39:39So like you're cooking in a kitchen.
39:41The kitchen is supposed to look like it never got used before.
39:43So you don't just have like the cutting board here.
39:47It should have some ends of scythe and the bottles of sauce using in the background and
39:51it could have drips on it.
39:52Why are you wiping the label for?
39:54That's how normal people think in the kitchen.
39:56Right?
39:57Polished tables.
39:58I mean, that's not how it is.
39:58Right.
39:59So on the flip side, she's all for that.
40:01She's all for like, I will be trying to be specific about like, you know, something
40:05to do with the flavor.
40:06And she now not studying when she bites into this burger or whatever it is that, you know,
40:12wow, like the reaction she should get.
40:14She's not thinking about it too much.
40:16So from the foodie side, we work very good in that respect, but they still have the underlying
40:21differences with the woman and the man where I'm not studying the clothes.
40:28She'll be like, you know, I'm not looking so hot today.
40:30I ain't so sure I want to be in this video.
40:32You know, it'll happen.
40:33It happens.
40:33Right.
40:34But that goes back to that whole thing about majority of and data-wise.
40:41Is it for everybody, man versus woman, in terms of how you think you appear when you
40:48show up?
40:49And what's the intention?
40:51Was the intention of you showing up a particular way or even worrying about how you present
40:56yourself in order to bring whatever information or value, which you're talking about earlier,
41:01the value that you bring into the space, into a conversation, to an event, anything?
41:06You see what you just said there?
41:07That word, intention.
41:09Because that intention, whether subconscious or conscious, is what determines those levels
41:16of authenticity.
41:17Even though, I mean, we always say, you know, there's always this thing about, you know,
41:20it's not a full lie.
41:22You know, there's levels of lie.
41:23Like nonsense.
41:24Which is nonsense.
41:24Because as long as you're not telling the whole truth, it's a lie.
41:27Right.
41:27And therefore, it's either you're authentic or you're not.
41:31There's no levels of authenticity.
41:32But with intention, I'm saying, are we then saying, guys, that you mentioned just now about
41:39the trend right now is people that are being authentic, who don't care about whether they
41:43have a six-pack, you know, belly out, you know, how they look.
41:46Look, is it then that in coming across as he don't care, that's his authentic self, that
41:56you can go now from one extreme to the other.
42:00So that in itself that, you know, you reached a point that that's authentic, but now you're
42:05going more to, you know, to the other side.
42:07You're trying so hard to be, come across as that.
42:11That.
42:12As what?
42:13That, you know, I don't care.
42:15And real.
42:16That, you know, not even real.
42:18You know?
42:19That exists also.
42:21This is what I'm saying.
42:22That highly exists also.
42:23This is what I'm saying.
42:24But what you just said, though, you said two things that contradict it, right?
42:27You said that it's either you're authentic or you're not.
42:30Right.
42:30I don't believe in that.
42:31I think that everything's at scale.
42:33Because you just, and then the second thing you did was, you start off at real, and then
42:38you work towards, you know, at some point in time, you become not real.
42:41That is a scale.
42:43Right.
42:43So, you can, there is a possibility.
42:46So, help me understand what you say, I contradict myself.
42:48Because you realize I touch it.
42:48So, in other words, to me, authenticity, being real or authentic is a scale.
42:56I could have intentions of being real, but as of right now, I can be viewed as not being
43:02authentic to myself, but I am working towards it.
43:06So, am I less authentic than I was yesterday?
43:12Yes.
43:12But am I an authentic person totally today?
43:15No.
43:16So, that's what I meant by this scale.
43:17So, then you're not authentic.
43:18But I am.
43:19Whether you're closer to becoming authentic or not, right?
43:23But then...
43:24But nobody will be 100%.
43:25This is my point.
43:26And is the important...
43:27Why?
43:27And once again, it comes back to the importance of what is viewed important with the intentions
43:33of this being authentic.
43:35Yeah, but Brent, I want to stop you.
43:37Is the information that we're talking about, or is how we are perceived?
43:40I want to...
43:41What we're talking about here, in authenticity, right?
43:44If I'm saying something to you, right?
43:48And I can say, what I'm saying right now is authentic, or it's as authentic as I can
43:54be about this particular thing.
43:56But to be described as authentic, you won't be, if you're still trying...
44:01Like self-actualization.
44:03If you're still trying to get there, then you're not authentic.
44:05What you can...
44:06The action, the various steps, the various phases can be authentic, but not you as...
44:13But as your auntie had said, that is you.
44:17Even if you are at 75% authenticity, that is you.
44:20You're still authentic.
44:21Well, if you want to be disemantics.
44:24In your...
44:25Yeah, yeah.
44:25No, I think that is semantics, because it's like, okay, if I am working towards being fit
44:34or lean, let's say medically or scientifically, what is described as lean, right?
44:39Because there's a body fat ratio to it.
44:41Until I reach there, I'm not.
44:42If you understand what I'm saying, it's not that I kind of lean...
44:45A kind of fit.
44:46Or a kind of fit.
44:47It's either fit or not fit.
44:49Just like being fat, right?
44:51What?
44:51Okay.
44:52So medically...
44:52You can't say that.
44:53No.
44:54Okay.
44:54Medically, let's just say, if you have a certain body percent fat ratio, that's the number,
45:01right?
45:01A goal that you want to accomplish.
45:02No, no, no.
45:03A goal in based on, let's say a stand.
45:05A stand.
45:06I'm just using a number.
45:0710% body fat mean you're fit, right?
45:09If I'm at 11% body fat, I'm not fit.
45:15If you understand what I'm saying, is either I am or I aren't.
45:18So in other words, you don't go around portraying I am fit.
45:21Right.
45:21That's what you're trying to say.
45:22Because I'm not that.
45:23So with the authenticity now, right?
45:26If right now, right now I'm having an honest conversation, I'm saying exactly what I want
45:30to say, I am being authentic, right?
45:32It's not degrees to be authentic or not.
45:35You could say exactly what you're saying to me, right?
45:38And we're having a nice friendly conversation, but you could hate my guts.
45:42You could hate my guts.
45:44But he's speaking the truth.
45:46No, but he's authentic about what he's portraying.
45:47This is what I'm saying to you about moments.
45:49What he's saying is being authentic.
45:52Then do you feel like you or not?
45:53Then I agree.
45:55So here are Brent saying, that's a spectrum.
45:57No.
45:58It's context now.
45:59Not spectrum.
46:01It's context.
46:01Because let's just say, let's say I hate you, right?
46:05Well, we talked about intention before.
46:07So my intention is to come here and have a successful show.
46:10That's my intention.
46:11Right.
46:11Right?
46:12So let's just say, and I'll use an example, that I don't like you, that I hate you.
46:16But that doesn't mean, if my intent is to come here and have a successful show, right?
46:21And speak my truth, it doesn't mean that I'm being inauthentic.
46:26But you can be speaking to me friendly.
46:28No, but his feeling towards you doesn't preempt what he's trying to tell you.
46:31Fine.
46:32But he's still speaking to me in a space of friendly.
46:34I need to be authentic and say that we come into our close.
46:37Yeah.
46:38And again, there's always really, really good conversation.
46:44But I want to make sure that what we're doing in our closing is not rushing it through at that point.
46:48Gotcha.
46:48And that we're, I give you guys and you have the opportunity to our viewers and listeners to be in that authentic space in delivering what you've gathered, be it from this conversation or in general.
47:02I sit here in this chair adjusting myself on a regular basis, concerned about, hey, am I looking, is my stomach looking, is his shirt, is all these different things.
47:12And I sit here even in the conversation asking myself, am I being my authentic self?
47:18You know, what is that authentic self?
47:20Am I, you know, trying to be somebody I am not?
47:25Or am I, as you just said, am I aspiring to be someone but right now I'm not?
47:30Or I don't know how to get there?
47:32Or I don't even know if I reach there, do I want to be that person by that particular time?
47:37Who is Robert Dumas?
47:40That's a good question.
47:40And in putting that information, what do you mean?
47:46Like, who is Robert Dumas?
47:46Yeah, all men should ask, who are you?
47:50Who am I?
47:50And even at my age, Brent, Johanse, Niall, I am still asking that.
47:55Who am I?
47:56Who am I really that person?
47:58I had a quick conversation with someone yesterday with regards to my love, and I think it was Johanse,
48:07where we were talking about when I said I like helping people.
48:10And, but even in that, this is not, you know, not modesty or humility.
48:18I was asking myself, and I was having a conversation with Johanse, as to, if I'm feeling good about it,
48:26and the person is getting assistance and help, is there anything wrong in that?
48:30No.
48:31But, am I being authentic?
48:33Like, what is the deeper reason behind, and I was battling with that, and we were having our conversation,
48:39what is my authentic self?
48:41Am I being disingenuous?
48:43What is it?
48:44And, again, that's a full-on conversation openness, but I just want to make sure that if we're being authentic here,
48:52and viewers and listeners are taking the time to hear us out here today, let's be real.
48:57Let's be real.
48:58And that, in a sense, without putting it, butting it up in a nice particular way,
49:03or putting a bow on it, or putting it in a nice box, is my closing.
49:07To say that I, myself, right now, still don't know who I am, and I'd like to think that there are moments of authenticity.
49:14This show, I try to be as authentic as I can.
49:17I mean, I might watch how I shave, and the beard, and things like that,
49:20but what comes out is what is going through my mind at that point, and I'm being real to the show.
49:26All right.
49:26A good gauge for me, how I test my authenticity now is, if I'm about to do something, and I'm thinking,
49:36I wonder what somebody would think, and not being authentic, because now I'm factoring in what somebody would think.
49:42Whoever it is, whether it is a random person on the street, or my parents, or somebody close to me,
49:47if I'm thinking about what they would think, I realize I'm not being authentic,
49:51because the truth is, and this I know is the truth, even though we're about to say, find in yourself, right?
49:57The truth is, we all know what we want, you know?
50:00We all know what we like from what we don't like.
50:02In a split second, you bring pizza and roti.
50:06I'll just give you an example.
50:06You know exactly what you want in that moment.
50:08The phone ring, you see the person name, you know exactly whether you want to speak to them or not.
50:13We all know what we want.
50:15We all know who we are, but then we factor in things like other people's opinion, society, all those things,
50:22and that's where we compromise and we betray who we authentically are.
50:28So in my closing is, to use my gauge, if you want to do something and you start thinking about what would people think,
50:37then maybe not being authentic in that moment.
50:40Brent?
50:40Well, to go along with that, I have to say, you know, it's this whole overthinking and whether or not, you know,
50:51first of all, it's you.
50:52You have to figure out who you are, and you're worrying about what other people think.
50:55Like you say, society, your peers, et cetera.
50:58And I'd like to think that anything that you do, whether it's like what I do, it's what you do,
51:03anything that you do that you're trying to be real and whatever you understand that to be,
51:08and if it is that you're afraid that people perceive you, whether it's good or bad,
51:13then once again, you start filtering yourself and you're filtering all your actions.
51:17And the idea is to have no filter.
51:20Right?
51:20You have etiquette.
51:22That is not utopia.
51:23Yeah.
51:23That is what it should be.
51:25You have, yeah, you have, no, but you have etiquette and you have courtesy.
51:29That's just normal, standard things across the board.
51:32But it is that, like what I was saying for the whole show there, forgetting all the peripherals is,
51:39are you being real in what you're talking about, what you're absorbing,
51:42and, you know, what you're trying to do in anything that you're trying to accomplish,
51:48what you're trying to do.
51:50You don't worry about the filter.
51:52Just study how I could do what I'm doing the best that I can,
51:55and this is the best me that I could give you,
51:58and I shouldn't have to think about that when I go home.
52:01Yeah?
52:02I like that.
52:03No filter.
52:05Be the best me.
52:06Well, in closing, I feel like everybody kind of gave, like, surmised,
52:10but happy I get to go last because I get to see and remind people out there,
52:14at least in my opinion, that being authentic is a spectrum.
52:18Today, I might be more authentic than I was yesterday.
52:21And the day after, I might be less authentic just based on how I feel.
52:26However, if it is, and I agree with everyone,
52:29where to be fully authentic, you have to understand yourself,
52:32and to do that, I believe that you have to talk to people.
52:37Counterintuitively, you have to actually express yourself
52:40to really understand yourself because a lot of the time,
52:43all we have are a set of thoughts in our mind,
52:45but it's not actually a concise, cohesive amalgamation of,
52:49this is who I am.
52:50You have to speak.
52:51So, just very quickly, guys, speak to your loved ones.
52:55Speak to your brethren.
52:56It feels weird.
52:57It's going to feel awkward.
52:59Speak to a therapist, most importantly.
53:01I feel that's something that men don't ever consider.
53:05And I think in speaking and in saying the things that are bothering you,
53:10in particular, you will slowly start being able to release the shackles
53:15that, you know, or the filters that you have placed on yourself
53:18based on society's needs.
53:20So, we've come to the end.
53:26Brilliant.
53:29I would just like to wrap all that up to say,
53:32let God be a guide,
53:35and if with every action or everything that you say,
53:39know that you would know, more importantly,
53:41you will always know,
53:42in hindsight,
53:44in retrospect,
53:45whether what you said or what you did
53:47was coming from an honest,
53:50positive,
53:51and place of
53:53human kindness.
53:56And as long as you know
53:57that that is where you were coming from,
54:00then it don't matter.
54:02Everything else simply doesn't matter.
54:04Correct.
54:05So,
54:06a lot,
54:07I feel like you're going to go back and look back at this episode too.
54:11You know,
54:12Study it.
54:12Yeah,
54:13study this one.
54:14A lot coming from here.
54:16So,
54:16thank you for listening.
54:17Thank you for viewing.
54:19Johanse,
54:20Brent,
54:21Niall,
54:22this has been another episode of Manhood.
54:25Authenticity.
54:26Be your authentic self.
54:28Manhood.
54:34Brought to you in part by Reboot Sports Drink.