Frasier Season 2 Episode 8 Adventures In Par Adise Pt 1
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00:00Hi, we're back. Ross tells me we have Chester on the line.
00:05Hello, Chester. How can I help you?
00:08I don't know. I've had a lot of fights with my wife lately.
00:13She feels I'm just wasting my life, standing still.
00:16Spinning your wheels.
00:18Huh? How far?
00:20Chester, I'm afraid this problem might be just a little too complex for the few seconds we have remaining.
00:30Why don't you try to call us back tomorrow? I'll make sure that you get on first thing.
00:34Gee, it's awful tough to get through.
00:37Well, I'll tell you what. Hang tight, and when I get off the air, I'll pick up and try to help you then.
00:42Take your time.
00:48Okay, everybody, I've got to scoot. Bulldog's up next after the news with the Gonzo Sports Show.
00:53Today's topic, what's wrong with our Seattle Mariners?
00:58If you haven't had a chance to voice your opinion on that in the last 18 years, you'll want to today.
01:05So long, all.
01:10Well, Ross, that was a pretty good show.
01:15What are you reading so intently?
01:17Oh, it's a Seattle magazine. It's their up-and-comers issue.
01:20The hottest hundred men and women in town.
01:23Oh, let me see.
01:24Don't you want to finish up with Chester?
01:25Oh, you heard him. He can wait.
01:30If you're looking for yourself, you're not in there.
01:33Oh.
01:36And your brother Niles isn't in there either.
01:38Cool.
01:42Oh, hi.
01:44Who is this fresh angel?
01:47Madeline Marshall, number 47.
01:50Ooh, manufactures her own line of sportswear.
01:53God, she's a stunning woman.
01:56Single, patron of the arts, MBA at Stanford.
02:01Well, if you have to go to school on the West Coast.
02:08And what she looks for most in a man, someone who knows how to listen.
02:18Ross, I'm in love.
02:22Well, why don't you call her up and ask her out?
02:24Oh, yeah, right.
02:26I'm serious, Frasier. What have you got to lose?
02:29I could just call her out of the blue. She doesn't even know who I am.
02:32You're on the radio. A lot of people know who you are.
02:35Yes, well, then why am I not in this magazine?
02:36Because those are important people.
02:38Oh.
02:40I'm going to call her office.
02:41Oh, no, no, no, Ross, no.
02:43Hey, Doc.
02:45Bulldog?
02:46Just got back from the gym. Did an hour on the Stairmaster.
02:49What do you think? Like a couple of little cherry tomatoes, huh?
02:56Thank you, Bulldog. You've just put me off salads for a month.
03:01Doc, what have we got here?
03:03Hello. Is Madeline Marshall there?
03:06Dr. Frasier Crane.
03:08Wait a minute. This Madeline Marshall? You know her?
03:11No, no, I found her attractive and Ross insisted on calling her.
03:15Wow. Small wonder.
03:17Smart, sophisticated.
03:20And I like a woman who doesn't wear underwear.
03:24She's wearing a business suit.
03:26It was a general comment.
03:29Ms. Marshall, could you please hold for Dr. Crane?
03:32Oh, oh, oh.
03:33Thank you.
03:37All right. Once more onto the breach.
03:47Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane.
03:49I know that we've never met, but, you know, from everything I know about you,
03:53you just seem like the most fascinating person.
03:55I was just wondering if, well, why don't I just come right out and say it?
03:59Would you be so good as to have dinner with me tonight?
04:04Well, that's very gracious of you to accept, Chester, but I didn't mean you.
04:12Well, she could have told me she was online, too.
04:14You could have asked.
04:21Mr. Crane, is the proper term serial killer or serial murderer?
04:27Serial killer. Why?
04:29Oh, just letting me old mom know what's going on in Seattle.
04:32She worries when she doesn't hear from me.
04:37Hey, Niles, how about a nice Savannah to go with that wine?
04:40Thank you.
04:43Aren't Cuban cigars illegal?
04:45Yeah, I got a friend in customs over at Sea-Tac.
04:48He confiscated them from some high school teacher
04:51who claimed he was bringing them into the country for a civics lesson.
04:55I mean, what are people going to learn?
04:57Rules are only rules when they apply to everyone.
05:02Oh, I love to see a man with a cigar.
05:06It reminds me of me grandfather.
05:09Morning to night, he used to sit with a great big stogie dangling from his lips.
05:15The hours we kids used to spend sitting on his lap,
05:19playing with the yellow whiskers beneath his nose.
05:23Then he'd take out his teeth with the cigar still in them
05:26and chase us around the room.
05:29And we'd all laugh and laugh.
05:34Then suddenly grandpa's mood would change
05:37and we'd all have to run for our lives.
05:42You can't buy memories like that.
05:48Dammit!
05:49Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit.
05:52Now where are they?
05:59Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not.
06:02Try again.
06:08Thank you.
06:11Where are you off to?
06:12Dr. Crane has a blind date tonight.
06:15Really? With whom?
06:17Madeleine Marshall.
06:18She has her own sportswear concern.
06:21According to Seattle Magazine, she is the 47th hottest person in Seattle.
06:27That article is a sham.
06:28Not in and out.
06:29Can you believe it?
06:33Yes, well, I'm off.
06:35You know, I have a good feeling about tonight.
06:38I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step,
06:43dog saliva around my ankles.
07:00Thank you.
07:02This is wonderful.
07:04I've never even heard of this place.
07:07Goodness, you're in for a treat.
07:09Degas is the pinnacle of French country dining.
07:13It's just Etienne Degas, his wife and daughter,
07:15and they'll treat us as if we were family.
07:20You know, I couldn't help being flattered when you told me that you knew my show.
07:26Can I count you among my devoted listeners?
07:29Well, actually, my secretary listens to it,
07:32but I try to catch as much as I can when I cross back and forth through her office.
07:39Bonsoir, Monsieur Drame, and welcome to Degas.
07:42Our special tonight is our fabulous crispy duck.
07:48Oh, yummy.
07:50And to start off, we'll have a bottle of the Chateauneuf-du-Pape 89.
07:54Ah, the only one in that decade to outdo the 88.
07:57That's the one to get.
07:59Excellent choice.
08:04You know why?
08:06Well, I try to make it a point to acquaint myself with the finer things in life.
08:10Oh, well, then what would you like to know about me?
08:15Well, for starters, why is a man as charming as you still out there?
08:21Well, actually, I...
08:24I'm recently divorced.
08:26Oh, thank goodness.
08:27For a second there, I thought you were one of those strange single men still living with his parents.
08:36Yeah, yeah, your heart really has to go out to those sad sacks.
08:42I'm divorced also.
08:44Oh, well, we have so much in common.
08:47I caught him cheating with my sister.
08:49Fabulous.
08:52The same thing happened to me.
08:54Boy, my sister gets around.
08:59It's good to see that you've still kept your sense of humor.
09:03Yeah, but it isn't easy to get over something like that, is it?
09:07No.
09:10No, it's not.
09:14Those nights when you ask yourself, you know, how could this have happened?
09:19Was I insensitive to her needs?
09:21Was I too devoted to my work?
09:23Was I simply not good enough in bed?
09:26You reach for anything.
09:32Qu'est-ce que tu me racontes là ?
09:34No, no, no.
09:35What are you telling me?
09:36You are prejudicial.
09:38I told you, Mama.
09:39I told you he would be like this.
09:41Who is the father?
09:43I want to know.
09:44Who is the father?
09:46I won't tell you.
09:48When I find this man, I will kill him.
09:51I'll snap his neck like a stale baguette.
09:57Monsieur, your wine.
10:00Yes, that's the one.
10:01Bon, bon, bon.
10:02I will just go and open it.
10:04This will be a night to remember.
10:06Oh, yes.
10:08Aren't you going to tell me?
10:10No.
10:11You know, there's a clam house up the road that has a late sinking.
10:15Oh, no, I think we're getting the most bang for our entertainment buck right here.
10:21Oh, no, no, no.
10:22Oh, goody-five years of marriage.
10:24When will I ever see you?
10:26You don't think I am sick of you?
10:28You and your cuttlefish bisque.
10:31I spit in your cuttlefish bisque.
10:36Voilà , messieurs-dames.
10:38It's a delicacy from my little village in France.
10:42Cuttlefish bisque.
10:49What are the odds?
10:51I had cuttlefish for lunch.
10:53No, no, no.
10:55You don't have to.
10:56You can leave my house, Yvette.
10:57No, no, no.
10:58Go, go to wherever he is.
11:03Pardon, monsieur.
11:05Are you not the one who gives advice on the radio?
11:09You listen to my show.
11:10No, but my sous-chef does.
11:12And I hear you as I walk back and forth to the kitchen.
11:17Monsieur, you must help me.
11:19Etienne?
11:21You know, listen.
11:22If everyone comes out here, how will you know when our duck is crispy?
11:26Etienne, this is the doctor from the radio.
11:31Ah, oui, oui, oui.
11:33Please, monsieur.
11:34You must talk to my husband.
11:36My daughter is with child.
11:38And he does not understand that these things happen.
11:42Don't talk to me.
11:43Talk to this tramp.
11:44Do you believe my daughter, madame?
11:47You should meet my sister.
11:50As if I wasn't pregnant when we got married.
11:53Oh, I wish I had been killed in the war.
11:56Oh, it's hard to get killed when you run the other way.
12:00Oh, no, no, no.
12:03Silence! Silence!
12:10I told you to try to calm down.
12:12Now see what I can do.
12:15Monsieur Degas, you're angry now.
12:18That is a temporary emotion.
12:21You're devastated.
12:23Because you think the bond between a father and a daughter has been broken.
12:29She is no longer your little girl.
12:32But that's not possible.
12:35That bond cannot be broken.
12:37Not even by that young man cowering there in the corner who is so obviously the father.
12:47Come out.
12:48Come out, it's all right.
12:51We need more water.
12:57You!
12:58You can't even get water in a glass!
13:01How did you do this?
13:07Monsieur Degas.
13:09Please.
13:11Hold your daughter in your arms.
13:14Tell her how you really feel.
13:18Yvette.
13:21Ah, Yvette, Yvette.
13:24My little girl.
13:32Thank you, Monsieur.
13:34Thank you.
13:38You are a god.
13:40And you, mademoiselle, are very lucky.
13:45I'm starting to realize that.
13:49Just another evening out.
13:53Dr. Fraser Craig.
14:02Hi, Ross.
14:03Hey, Fraser.
14:05Again, thank you.
14:08It's okay, Fraser.
14:09You've thanked me every day for the last two weeks.
14:13Yes, yes, but if it hadn't been for you, I never would have met...
14:17Oh, Madeline.
14:20It's just...
14:21You know, we went out again last night and...
14:23It's just perfect between us.
14:25We talk, we can laugh at the same...
14:27Just stop.
14:28Did it ever occur to you that since I'm in one of the worst dating droughts of my entire adult life,
14:33that to hear you prattling on like a giggling schoolgirl about your storybook romance
14:38might be the teensiest bit irritating?
14:43No, it hadn't.
14:44And you're right, Ross.
14:45I'm sorry.
14:46Sometimes I can be so insensitive.
14:48But, you know, Madeline's helping me with that.
14:50She is so good.
14:51She is so good in, like, every way.
14:53God!
14:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
14:55It's just I haven't felt this way since...
14:57Since my divorce.
15:00Everything seems so right.
15:03You know, I haven't said this out loud, but...
15:06Here goes.
15:08It's possible that she could be the woman I spend the rest of my life with.
15:14Go.
15:15Go do that.
15:17Get married.
15:19Go.
15:20Go do that.
15:22Get married.
15:25Have a couple of kids.
15:26Move out to the country.
15:27Buy a puppy.
15:29Live happily ever after.
15:31Just don't tell me about it.
15:33I need a boyfriend.
15:38Dear Ross.
15:40Dear silly Ross.
15:41Dear silly, horny Ross.
15:47Oh! Oh, look!
15:48It's...
15:49That must be Madeline.
15:50Yes.
15:51Madeline.
15:52Hi.
15:53Hi, old Madeline.
15:54Look, there's Ross.
15:55Ross.
15:56Madeline.
15:57Madeline.
15:58Ross.
15:59Oh, my God, what a surprise to see you.
16:00Well, I hope you don't mind me stopping by,
16:02but I have a meeting with a buyer across the street in ten minutes,
16:05and there's something I wanted to talk to you about.
16:07Oh, well, sure.
16:08Please, have a seat.
16:14Well, you know, when we first started going out,
16:16we both agreed we didn't want to rush into the physical part,
16:20that we'd save ourselves for the right moment.
16:26It's now?
16:30No, actually.
16:33I was wondering what you thought about us going away for the weekend,
16:37just the two of us.
16:41Well, uh...
16:44I'd miss my favorite shows, but sure.
16:48I was thinking two, three days.
16:59I was thinking more like a week.
17:04Okay, now for the really big question.
17:07When?
17:09Well, the minute we get there.
17:14No.
17:17Actually, I meant, when do we go?
17:20Oh, oh, yes.
17:22Um...
17:23Let's see.
17:24Now, let's see.
17:25I am good for the week of the 16th.
17:30The 16th.
17:31Oh, no, sweeps week.
17:34How about the 23rd?
17:36No, trade show.
17:3830th?
17:39No.
17:40That puts us into the next month.
17:43Nope, nope, nope.
17:45The 20th?
17:46Nope.
17:48Well, look, this was a great idea,
17:50but we're both obviously too busy.
17:52We'll do it another time.
17:54Yes, I...
17:55I gotta run.
17:56Okay.
18:05Let's go tomorrow.
18:07You're on.
18:08I know the perfect place.
18:09Bora Bora.
18:10Hubba Hubba.
18:13Okay, I'll make the arrangements.
18:14I'll meet you at the airport.
18:15Okay.
18:16Okay.
18:17Bye.
18:18Bye.
18:19Oh, oh, Madeline.
18:22Bye.
18:27Hello.
18:28You don't know me,
18:29but I saw your picture in Seattle Magazine.
18:39Yeah.
18:52Ah, they don't write songs like that anymore.
18:56This is really what men do, isn't it, Dad?
19:01Yeah.
19:02This and some things outdoors,
19:04but we'll just stick to this.
19:08You know,
19:09these last few nights have been very pleasant, Dad.
19:12You and me sitting together,
19:14appreciating these fine cigars.
19:17Who would have thought a simple Cuban peasant
19:19somewhere in the Sierra Maestra
19:21would bring a father and son closer together?
19:24Yeah.
19:25Must make that dime he gets for a whole day's work
19:28a lot more satisfying.
19:31I'm going to miss these little sweethearts.
19:38Oh, now there's a talent.
19:41I'll say.
19:48Just how do you do that?
19:50Oh, it's really very simple.
19:52Let me show you.
19:53It's all in the tongue.
19:54That's right.
19:55It's all in the tongue.
19:57It's very simple.
19:58Let me show you.
19:59It's all in the tongue.
20:00That's right.
20:01Just purse your lips
20:02and pucker up like a little goldfish.
20:06That's it.
20:07Just like that.
20:08Very good.
20:11You got it.
20:19Niles, what are you doing?
20:23I'm learning how to blow smoke.
20:26Where?
20:32Jonathan, I asked you to smoke those things out on the balcony.
20:35It's cold out there.
20:36Fine.
20:37All right.
20:38Maybe an errant ash will flick off
20:40and ignite your easy chair.
20:44You're in a fine mood.
20:45What's the matter with you?
20:47Marilyn and I are going to Bora Bora tomorrow.
20:50Why do bad things happen to good people?
20:55When did this come about?
20:56Well, just about an hour ago,
20:58when Aunt Madeline came down to the station.
21:00We got caught up in a moment of passion.
21:02Before I know it,
21:03I'm going halfway around the world with a woman I hardly even know.
21:08She doesn't like me.
21:09I guess I'm getting caught up in the romance.
21:11Well, I'm not sure about the psychological ramifications of this,
21:15but it seems like a good thing to me.
21:17Yes, well, Trudy, I'm trying to...
21:19Ah, yes, but what if we hate each other
21:21and are being stuck together for a week?
21:23Oh, that won't happen.
21:24If anything, you'll come back even more in love than ever.
21:27It's even worse!
21:29If it goes perfectly,
21:31then it means we'll start talking about a serious commitment
21:34and living together and then marriage and...
21:37You ask me, Frasier, your trepidation is well-founded.
21:40It is possible to move a relationship along too fast
21:44and ultimately marry too hastily.
21:46You could find a few years down the line
21:48that the person isn't really right for you,
21:50and then what happens if you meet the right person,
21:53someone who really excites you and makes you feel alive,
21:56but you can't act upon it because you're trapped in a stale,
22:00albeit comfortable, marriage?
22:11Marriage.
22:14I have to go now.
22:17Thanks.
22:23Hey, let me ask you one question, Frasier.
22:25Did you feel a spark when you met this woman?
22:30Like fireworks.
22:31Oh, then go for it.
22:32You know, these things don't happen that often.
22:35It's like when I met your mother.
22:37It was at a crime scene.
22:39Hester was a psychiatrist,
22:41so every now and again the department
22:43had to run up a profile of a suspect.
22:47I remember the first time I met her.
22:49It was over the chalk outline of a murder victim.
22:54One look at her hair,
22:55silhouetted against that flashing blue line
22:58of the coroner's wagon, and I was a goner.
23:02She drew a little smile on the head of the outline,
23:05and I drew a pair of eyes,
23:06and before you knew it,
23:07we were laughing like a couple of kids.
23:11Dad, you're a ghoul.
23:14I was joking.
23:16We couldn't draw on the outline.
23:17They hadn't moved the body yet.
23:22Yes, well, your corpse-strewn romance notwithstanding,
23:26I still feel just a little bit skittish about this whole thing.
23:30Well, Dr. Grinn,
23:31if you'd like a feminine point of view,
23:34just shut your bloody cake hole and go.
23:39I mean, look what happened
23:40when you took a chance and called this woman.
23:43You've been whistling a happy tune ever since.
23:45Well, that is true.
23:46Yeah, so make another bold move.
23:49Do something to make yourself happy.
23:51Dad, go on.
23:52Yeah, you won't regret it.
23:55Oh, all right, I'll do it.
23:57Attaboy, that's great.
23:59That's terrific.
24:01Okay, but don't think I don't know
24:02that you're mostly excited
24:03just to get me out of the house for a week.
24:05It will be sweet, won't it?
24:22Thank you.
24:28This is gorgeous.
24:30I'm so glad you suggested it.
24:32It's even more beautiful than I remember.
24:34You know what the natives say?
24:36They say that Bora Bora is the end of the world
24:40and the doorway to heaven.
24:42This could be the doorway to heaven for us.
24:51I'm certainly glad that you're the one
24:53that said that first.
24:54I didn't want this to seem like
24:56our trip was just about sex,
24:58but who are we kidding?
25:05Ooh, ooh, ooh.
25:09Oh.
25:10Oh.
25:11Oh.
25:13I'm a little hot in these clothes, aren't you?
25:15I'm sweating like the pig that knows he's dinner.
25:21I'll be right back.
25:23Oink.
25:30Oh.
25:32Oh.
25:54Crazy.
26:02Oh, my God.
26:04Frasier?
26:09Oh, my God!
26:31Scrambled eggs.
26:33Mercy.
26:35And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:38Yeah, maybe.
26:39But I got you pegged.
26:41Ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:44But I don't know what to do
26:46with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:52They're calling again.
26:56Scrambled eggs all over my face.
26:59Is there more to do?
27:03Good night, everybody!