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00:00Ah, Jeeves, there you are. Go on, sit down. Good afternoon, sir.
00:12Observe the time, please. Yes, indeed, sir, not yet half past three.
00:16Yes, perhaps you think it odd that I'm back from lunch at this unfashionably early hour.
00:19It did occur to me to wonder, sir, whether there had been a conflagration at the Drone's Club.
00:23Oh, did it, Jeeves? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no.
00:25Now, I was lunching with Barmy Fungy Fips,
00:27and Barmy happened to mention that there was this stunning new song out.
00:30It's called Nagasaki. Have you heard it?
00:32I've heard of Nagasaki, sir, a Japanese prefecture
00:34encompassing the islands of Tsushima, Iki, Hiradoshima, and, of course, the Gotoretto.
00:39Yes, yes, thank you, Jeeves.
00:41Well, apparently, that's what the song's all about.
00:43On Barmy's recommendation, I rushed out and bought a copy.
00:45I now intend to give it a bit of a run through on the piano.
00:47Is that wise, sir, so soon after a heavy meal?
00:51I shall ignore that cheap jive, Jeeves.
00:53Were there any messages?
00:55Just one, sir. Lady Florence Cray telephoned.
00:58She will be calling on you shortly.
01:00Lady Florence Cray? Good heavens.
01:03Well, well, well.
01:05Good, well.
01:12Ah, Jeeves, still there, are you?
01:14Yes, sir. Yes, Jeeves.
01:16There was a book on the little table thing by the sofa.
01:19Was it entitled Strength Through Willpower by Lady Florence Cray, sir?
01:22That's the one, Jeeves.
01:23I placed it by your bedside, sir.
01:25I took the liberty of glancing through the volume
01:27and thought it might make an excellent remedy for insomnia.
01:30Would you like me to get it, sir?
01:31No, no, no, I'll get it, Jeeves.
01:33I just thought I'd leave it casually lying about, you know, as you gave it to me, you see.
01:36Trying to improve my mind, I dare say.
01:38That seems scarcely possible, sir.
01:41Yes, well, toodle-oo, Jeeves.
01:43Goodbye, sir.
01:45Goodbye.
01:51Ahem, Jeeves, you remember we were down at Steeple Bumpley last weekend?
01:54Yes, I do recall, sir.
01:56Yes, Lord Waltham's place?
01:57Yes, sir, Lady Florence Cray's father.
01:59Yes, yes, absolutely.
02:01Well, ahem, anyway, we're engaged.
02:04Just thought I'd let you know.
02:06To Lady Florence, that is, not her father.
02:09Let me be the first to congratulate you, sir.
02:13You, ah, you don't disapprove, Jeeves?
02:15It is hardly my place to say, sir.
02:18Well, I know it's hardly your place to say, Jeeves.
02:20That doesn't normally stop you.
02:22Well, I'm glad to see you're taking it so well.
02:25So, there it is.
02:36Fellows, if you're on
02:39I will spin a yarn
02:42That was told to me by Abel Seaman Jones
02:48Once he had the blues
02:51So he took a cruise
02:54Far away from nightclubs and from saxophones
03:01I don't think much of this, Jeeves.
03:03No, sir?
03:04No, I think Barmer's musical prognostications have come a bit of a cropper this time.
03:08Dash boring song, that's what this is.
03:10I'll push on to the end, I suppose.
03:12Ah, now, this looks a bit more promising.
03:15Yes.
03:17Hot ginger and dynamite
03:19There's nothing but that at night
03:21Back in Nagasaki where the fellas chew tobacco
03:24And the women wicky-wacky-woo
03:27I knew Barmer hadn't lost his touch.
03:31Oh, Fujiyama, you get a mama
03:33Then your troubles increase
03:35In some pagoda she orders soda
03:37The earth shakes, milk shakes, ten cents apiece
03:40They kissy and huggy nice
03:42By Jingo, it's worth the price
03:44Back in Nagasaki where the fellas chew tobacco
03:46And the women wicky-wacky-woo
03:49You just have to act your age
03:51Or wind up inside a cage
03:53Back in Nagasaki where the fellas chew tobacco
03:55And the women wicky-wacky-woo
03:58Well, now, Jeeves, that's a bit more like it, eh?
04:01Extremely invigorating, sir.
04:04Yes, Jeeves, that's just the word I would have used.
04:06Makes you want to get up and have a run round the park.
04:09My feelings precisely, sir.
04:11That will be Lady Florence now, sir.
04:18Good afternoon, Lady Florence.
04:20Ah, Florence!
04:22Don't.
04:24Something up, darling?
04:26What on earth is this?
04:28That's a song I bought today.
04:30Was it you making that awful rouse?
04:32I thought it was the milkman.
04:34You won't be able to do this when we're married.
04:36Do stop interrupting, Bertram.
04:38Do you know that Sir Watkin Bassett is my uncle?
04:40No, I didn't know that.
04:42Well, he is, and he has to be stopped.
04:44Stopped? What?
04:45You'll be quiet for a minute and listen, Bertie.
04:47My uncle, Sir Watkin, has written his reminiscences,
04:50recollections of a long life, he calls them,
04:52and if half of what he has written is true,
04:54then his youth must have been perfectly appalling.
04:56Sir Watkin? Surely not a more respectable magistrate than...
04:59Bertie, it's full of stories about people
05:01who are the essence of propriety today
05:03who seemed to have behaved when they were in London in the 90s
05:05in a manner that would not have been tolerated
05:07in the folks hall of a whaler.
05:08But he's always handing down lectures from the bench
05:10on the depravity of youth today.
05:12The book opens with an account of him and my father
05:14being thrown out of a music hall in 1893.
05:16Good Lord, yes, it took quite a lot for them
05:18to chuck you out of music halls in 93.
05:20The manuscript must be intercepted and destroyed
05:22before it reaches the publishers.
05:24I say, how are you going to do that?
05:26I? Oh, I have no intention of doing it.
05:28You are going to do it. Me?
05:30You may look on it as a test, Bertram.
05:32I will never marry you if those recollections are published.
05:34Oh, I see. Flossy old thing.
05:36Kindly do not call me that.
05:38Oh, right. Florence.
05:43What a caulking girl she is, Jeeves.
05:45Sir? Lady Florence.
05:47I don't quite know who it is, but does she remind you of anyone, Jeeves?
05:50I wouldn't like to say, sir.
05:55Biffy Basildon.
05:57Now a respected Home Secretary.
06:00Once succeeded in inserting a jelly
06:03down the ceremonial bridges
06:05of a judge at the Hereford Assizes.
06:08That was before the occasion on which he...
06:17Bertie!
06:21Water, Madeline!
06:23Bertie, I must talk to you. Come here.
06:26Wearing only a grass skirt
06:32and a guardsman's busby.
06:38That manuscript must be destroyed, Bertie.
06:41You must get it from his safe. It's in the study.
06:44Hold on a minute. I wasn't told about any safe.
06:46I'm not Sidney the Safe Breaker, you know.
06:48Oh, Bertie, don't be a little safe.
06:51Never mind about the size of it. Why can't Gussie do it?
06:53Oh, you are silly, Bertie.
06:55Augustus isn't a man of action like you.
06:58Well, you know...
07:00Augustus is a man of intellect.
07:20What are you doing there?
07:22Oh, don't.
07:24Nothing, nothing.
07:26You're Wooster, aren't you?
07:28Yes, I'm just...
07:30I remember you.
07:32Oh, good.
07:37Hello, Florence.
07:39What ho, Stiffy? What are you doing here?
07:41I've just been asked the same question by Roderick Spode.
07:43I will give you the same reply. Nothing.
07:45You don't want to drink, Bertie, do you?
07:47Rather. Couldn't do to let the stuff go off now, would it?
07:49How's Stinker? Who?
07:51Your fiancée. I don't have a fiancée.
07:53If a girl's fiancée can't stand up to a girl's uncle
07:55and demand a girl's hand in marriage,
07:57he has no right to call himself a fiancée.
07:59I thought he'd done all that. He did, but Uncle Wattie refused.
08:02Well, that's hardly Stinker's fault.
08:04He obviously didn't put enough backbone into it.
08:07Oh, hello, Gussie. I've been looking for you.
08:10What for? I've got your script for you.
08:12What ho, Gussie?
08:14Hello, Bertie. Didn't know you were here.
08:16Oh, yes. Gussie's playing Pat
08:18about a Mike Crosstalk act at the village concert I'm producing.
08:21Oh, really? And who's playing Mike
08:23in this merry melange of fun and topicality?
08:25Oates. Oates?
08:27You remember Police Constable Oates.
08:29Vividly. He arrested me the last time I was down here.
08:35Come on, Bertie.
08:37What? Gong's just about to go.
08:40Oh. Is it? Yes, it is.
08:49What's this bath it keeps saying in here?
08:51After nearly every line, it says bath.
08:53That's short for business.
08:55That's where Pat hits Mike with his umbrella.
08:57One thing I want to impress on you, Gussie,
08:59when socking Constable Oates with your umbrella,
09:02I want you to let him have it with every ounce of wrist and a muscle.
09:05I want to see him come off that stage a mass of contusions.
09:11Stephanie.
09:13Don't I know you, young man?
09:15No. Well, that's to say, yes, but...
09:19Oh, blast it. Won't have time for Miss Sherry.
09:22Dinner, everybody.
09:30Bertie. Bertie.
09:33What?
09:35Now, Bertie. Now.
09:37What do you mean, now?
09:39I can't just go... Go on, Bertie.
09:45Come on.
09:59What are you doing here?
10:01Dinner. Dinner?
10:03This isn't the dining room.
10:05Is it? I thought I could smell tapioca.
10:08The dining room's over there.
10:10You can't miss it. There are people having dinner in it.
10:15Ah.
10:32Even the black shorts that my followers wear are symbolic.
10:35Symbolic? Certainly.
10:37They signify the brevity of our patience with present-day political apathy.
10:41And black is symbolic of the fact that so riddled with inefficiency
10:45as our present-day industrial structure
10:47that my suppliers ran out of all the other colours.
10:50I say. How interesting.
10:52Shall we lead the men to their port, lady?
10:55Thank you, Bertie.
11:01Did you get it? No, of course I didn't. Your father came in.
11:04He can get it tonight. I've got the combination of the safe.
11:07I'm not just going to go wandering around.
11:09Battle of Naseby. I don't even know him.
11:11Battle of Naseby, you nincompoop. Where did you go to school?
11:14Eaton. We didn't do safe-cracking. Battle of Naseby, 1645.
11:18That's it. 1645 is the combination of the safe.
11:26Will that be all, sir? Yes, that'll be all, Jeeves.
11:31Or rather, no. You couldn't just pop down to Sir Watkins' study.
11:35You'll find a safe in there. No, sir.
11:38Oh, dash it all, Jeeves. Will that be all, sir?
11:41You're a hard man, Jeeves.
11:43But a free one, sir, and it is my ambition to remain in that state.
11:47Good night, sir.
12:09Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...
12:32I say!
12:35What are you doing?
12:37How dare you question my motives?
12:39Sir Watkins asked me to fetch some things for him.
12:42With a sledgehammer? He'd forgotten the combination of the safe.
12:45Oh, I'll go and fetch him. No!
12:47I know the combination. We don't want...
12:51The combination of the safe? Do you really, Worcester?
12:55Certainly, but I...
12:57Look, I hope that we can talk together, man to man, Worcester.
13:01I can. You're going to get up to that level.
13:04You say such amusing things, Worcester. May I call you Bertie?
13:07No. All right.
13:09You were trying to steal the manuscript, weren't you?
13:11Manuscript? No.
13:13Well, yes.
13:15What can repeat some stories about me in there, Worcester?
13:17They'd ruin my political career.
13:19It isn't all a bed of roses trying to be a dictator, Worcester.
13:22Why don't you give it up, then? I can't.
13:24But how can I? People expect it of me.
13:26My mother... Oh, I'm not going to stand here all night.
13:29Were you talking about your dragging mother, Spode?
13:31Come on, let's get this safe. Yes, yes.
13:33Of course, Worcester. You're quite right.
13:35They're clever of you to know the combination.
13:37Now, you go and move the torch so I can see what I'm doing.
13:40Now, wait a minute. Some battle, rather.
13:43Battle? Yes.
13:45The date of the battle is the number of the combination.
13:47Ah, Truffaut. No. Hastings. Yes.
13:50No, no, like Hastings. Hastings, Mason, Raisin.
13:53I don't recall a battle of Raisin.
13:55Or perhaps it was in the Great War.
13:57It was a joke, Spode.
13:59I haven't got time for inane jokes, Worcester.
14:01Waterloo. Ah, no.
14:03Get up, Worcester. What?
14:05Out of the way! Oh, right.
14:08Time for talking is past.
14:12We're sure about this, aren't we, Spode?
14:17Please don't interrupt me.
14:20Sorry.
14:22Argh!
14:53Stand back!
14:54Oh, don't start all that again.
14:56Milk it up!
14:58Argh!
15:02Good evening, Miss Anne.
15:23Why?
15:25What's going on?
15:27Bad news.
15:29Call the police.
15:36But it's absolute balderdash, Bertie.
15:39I mean, listen to this.
15:41Shaw and Bigora, I don't know what's after being the matter with you, Michael.
15:45I mean, what on earth is this what's after being stuff mean?
15:49My dear old Gussie, that is how people think Irish people talk.
15:53Stinker!
15:55Bertie!
15:59I didn't know you were here.
16:01I hear that all is not moonlight and roses between you and Stiffy.
16:04No. No, I've come up to try and reason with her.
16:07Reason is quite what's called for, Stinker.
16:12You know, I'm playing this government.
16:15The criminal classes are getting out of control.
16:18What I want to know is, did they steal my manuscript?
16:21Get them working on the land, that's the answer.
16:23And ruined my safe.
16:25What's the good of having a safe if you can't open it?
16:28This will soon be open, Sir Watkins, sir.
16:30You sure that's far enough from the house?
16:32This is fine, sir.
16:34My brother-in-law at the quarry told me all the doings of that.
16:40Mr Pinker to see you, Miss Bing.
16:42Hello, Stiffy.
16:44Tell Mr Pinker I'm not at home, Butterfield.
16:46Come on, sweetie.
16:48Stiffy?
16:52There's a mattress.
17:02Shouldn't you take cover out?
17:05Don't you worry about me, Sir Watkins, sir.
17:09She won't speak to me, Jeeves.
17:11Most distressing, sir.
17:13I mean, what do they want of us, Jeeves?
17:15It's a question that has often been asked, sir.
17:27What was that?
17:29I could not say, sir.
17:39It's still here.
17:41Great stuff, that dynamite, isn't it?
17:44It's a bit charred.
17:46Only around the edges, though.
17:48Bang!
17:50I'm going to get it into the post before anyone else can try anything.
17:54I absolutely refuse to have anything more to do with this degraded buffoonery.
17:58And when I see Stephanie,
18:00I shall tell her that she cannot play fast and loose with human dignity like this.
18:04Hello, you two.
18:06How's it going?
18:08I'm fine, sir.
18:10I'm fine.
18:12I'm fine.
18:14I'm fine.
18:16I'm fine.
18:18I'm fine.
18:20I'm fine.
18:22How's it going?
18:24What was that bang just now?
18:26It was just oats fooling about.
18:28Oh. Well, Gussie's having one or two minor reservations about the sketch.
18:32Really, Gussie?
18:34I am surprised.
18:36I thought you'd be so good for this.
18:38Well, perhaps so.
18:40Let me go through the script with you.
18:42Come on, show me where your problems are.
18:45It occurs to me to wonder, sir,
18:47whether a surge of popularity for you among the villagers
18:50might not encourage Miss Bing
18:52to regard you in a more favorable light.
18:54Oh, I don't think the villagers give me much thought at all
18:56from one Sunday to the next.
18:58If you were to perform at the village concert, sir,
19:01and receive the acclaim of the masses,
19:03Miss Bing could be swept helplessly along in its wake.
19:06What a wonderful idea, Jeeves.
19:09I could sing a sleep in the deep.
19:12A fine song, sir,
19:14and one that has redeemed the faltering career of many a bass baritone.
19:17I was thinking of something, however,
19:19which would give full play to the robuster side of your nature, sir.
19:23A hunting song, perhaps,
19:25with its poetic yet manly evocations of the merry morn
19:29and steaming horses.
19:34I can't see it, Jeeves.
19:36Even if Stinker does make a hit with this hunting song at the concert,
19:38I can't see that Stiffy is going to say,
19:40Oh, Stinker, and fling herself into his arms.
19:42Possibly not, sir, but it might make him more resolute.
19:44Ah! You mean that if he does make a hit,
19:46he might get it up his nose to such an extent
19:48that he'll be able to look Sir Watkin in the eye and make him wilt.
19:50The theory is a tenable one, sir.
19:52Well, it's more than tenable, Jeeves. It's a pipper.
19:54Right, well, what we must do, then,
19:56is to strain every nerve to see that he does make a hit.
19:58Now, what are those things that people have?
20:00You know, opera singers, people like that.
20:02Ah, you mean a clack. That's the one.
20:04He must be provided with a clack.
20:06It will be your task, Jeeves, to move about the village,
20:08dropping a word here, standing a beer there,
20:10until the whole community is impressed with the necessity
20:12of cheering Stinker until their eyes bubble.
20:14I can leave this to you.
20:16I shall attend to the matter directly, sir.
20:45Where's Worcester?
20:47Bertram, you've got to do it now.
20:49Do it? I can't.
20:51Uncle Watkin has just put it out to be posted to the publishers.
20:54You've got to get it before Butterfield takes it to the post office.
20:57And destroy every page of it.
20:59Everyone's relying on you.
21:14Oh, no.
21:35Ah, Bertie. Gussie.
21:37You know, Stephanie really makes a lot of sense sometimes.
21:40Oh, yes.
21:43Yes.
21:45What are you doing with that parcel?
21:47Parcel?
21:49That.
21:51Oh, that's not a parcel, Gussie.
21:53It is a parcel, but...
21:55Anyway, I can't stand here talking about parcels.
21:57I'm off for rehearsal.
22:06Jeeves, I've got it.
22:08Sir?
22:10I'll destroy the dreaded thing.
22:12Yes, Sam.
22:14Right. Well, yes.
22:22Recollections of a long life, obviously.
22:25Well, um...
22:29Yes.
22:37Jeeves, light the fire, will you?
22:39Burn the thing, that's the way.
22:42One page at a time, sir?
22:44Good Lord.
22:46Yes, um, well, perhaps two.
22:48Oh, heavens, Jeeves, this is going to take an eon.
22:50Perhaps we should leave it until we have more time at our disposal, sir.
22:54Jeeves, you're right.
22:56We'll decide what to do with it later.
22:59Now, then. Normality, Jeeves.
23:01That's the thing. Normality at all times.
23:05Your jacket, sir?
23:08Oh, yes, jacket, yes.
23:20Oh, you're here, Jeeves.
23:22Oh, yes, yes, yes.
23:24Oh, yes, yes, yes.
23:27Oh, you're here at last, are you?
23:29Some of us have duties as performers.
23:31Your duty is to get to rehearsal on time, Constable Oates.
23:34We'll start from the top of page two. Get up on the stage, Oates.
23:39Gussie, you're stabbed.
23:42Shaw and Pegora,
23:44how are you after getting on with that new giraffe eye of yours, Mike?
23:48Is that dog secure there, Miss Finn?
23:51Never mind about the dog.
23:53A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go,
23:56a-hunting we will go,
23:58a-hunting we will go.
24:01Is that it?
24:03No, that's just the first verse.
24:05It goes on, um, a-hunting we will go...
24:07Well, Sticker, I'm not sure Stiffy's going to go for this, you know.
24:11The trouble is, you start off,
24:13a-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go,
24:15and just as the audience is all keyed up for a punchline,
24:18you repeat that, a-hunting we will go.
24:20Fruit will be flung, you think so?
24:22Oh, sure of it.
24:23No, no, no, no, no.
24:25Can't you make some attempt at an Irish accent, Oates?
24:28Well, I'm sorry to be telling you this, Pat,
24:32but it's an absolute failure.
24:34How is that now?
24:36Yes, what is it?
24:37God, these interruptions!
24:39Oh, no, Stiffy, um, we wanted to have a word with you.
24:42You'll have to wait, I'm afraid.
24:44All right, Gussie darling?
24:46Oates, do that speech again.
24:48And it's got an awl in it, as I can see through.
24:51Go on!
24:53And tell me, Mike...
24:54No, no, no, you've missed out the business, Gussie.
24:57Oh, the umbrella, you mean?
24:59Absolutely.
25:00Oh, I...
25:02Oh!
25:04Oh, dear!
25:05What's the matter?
25:06This gentleman just hit me on the head with his umbrella.
25:09You're so stupid, Oates, that's business.
25:11Gussie darling, show him, will you?
25:14Again?
25:15Put a bit of muscle into it this time.
25:17Whoa!
25:18Whoa!
25:19Ow!
25:20Ow!
25:23Bye, Gussie!
25:24Ow!
25:25Ow!
25:26Ow!
25:27Ow!
25:28Ow!
25:29Ow!
25:30Ow!
25:31Oh!
25:32Ow!
25:33Ow!
25:34Ow!
25:35Ow!
25:36Ow!
25:37Ow!
25:38Ow!
25:39Ow!
25:40Ow!
25:41Ow!
25:42Ow!
25:43Ow!
25:44We have no right to arrest Bartholomew.
25:45I've had to sack him, of course.
25:46tangled up in the scenery.
25:48she was absolutely filled.
25:50the man's an oaf anyway.
25:52uncle Roderick will do it much better.
25:54what?
26:06a deeply disturbing thing has happened.
26:09earlier today I prepared my manuscript for dispatch to missus Riggs and Ballinger the publishers.
26:14I placed it on the hall table in the normal manner
26:17but Butterfield is unswerving in his assertion that when he went to collect the letters
26:22there was no parcel among them.
26:27I believe that the parcel has been stolen.
26:31well who would want to steal your manuscript?
26:35Bertie you had a parcel when I saw you in the hall earlier.
26:39no I didn't. yes you did you afff.
26:43oh yes yes. a parcel you mean. yes yes that's quite right. well done Gussie.
26:48nothing to do with this though.
26:50what parcel was this Worcester?
26:54nothing special. usual sort of brown paper affair.
26:58a bit of string suspicion of sealing wax. that's all.
27:04I'm going to smash this room Worcester.
27:07if I find what I'm looking for then I intend to put you in charge of constable Hoopes.
27:11I say now look here. I am fully aware that there are people who wish to prevent my work being published.
27:19ah geez. sir Watkins seems to think that I've swiped his memoirs.
27:23indeed sir?
27:24I'll tell him I haven't.
27:32this drawer appears to be locked.
27:34ah yes well I don't worry about that one. it's um it's locked. all that sort of thing.
27:39I rather fancy that this might be the key that you're looking for sir Watkins.
27:45it was in the pocket of the suit you wore for rehearsal sir.
27:48ah yes well whatever's in there I don't know anything about it.
27:51well I don't know what it is so I couldn't...
28:04it's empty!
28:09did you find it daddy? no I did not. someone's got it though. I shall not risk madeline until I find it.
28:16I removed the parcel this afternoon sir. I thought it best.
28:20certainly was geez. it's a Watkins on the rampage. it's in a safe place though.
28:23oh indeed sir. well you better hang on to the beastly thing till we get back to London.
28:27very good sir. we'll find a way of disposing of it there.
28:33so you've done it. rather. and it's destroyed.
28:37yes yes absolutely. well done Bertie. well done. I say Florence you know there's a lovely moon
28:43tonight. moon? out there you know as in moon. I wondered if you'd like to go for a walk. no.
28:50four o'clock in the morning. I'm sure the cockerels start to crow.
29:10how dim a bit of sleep do I get after that? faith and begob. isn't that a terrible thing Mike?
29:16but wasn't I after getting the better of him Pat?
29:19you did? I did. sure and I bought the birds myself. I keep them in my garden now.
29:26let them keep him away.
29:33never do that again Fink Nottle. I do that after every joke. no no you don't.
29:40it's all right uncle Roderick. he has to do it. it's part of the fun. fun?
29:45I'll talk to you about it later. that's all for today. mrs. Blackett? yes.
29:51now look here Stiffy. we've got to get this gussy thing straight. what gussy thing?
29:54all right mrs. Blackett off you go. you know perfectly well what gussy thing young Stiffy.
29:58for reasons into which we need not go you have recently been treating Augustus Fink Nottle as
30:02the the plaything of an idler. well it's got to stop. all right mrs. Blackett you can start.
30:07you are aware that if sand is shoved into the gears of the Fink Nottle Basset romance to the
30:11point where it ceases to tick over Bertram Worcester is going to be facing the fate that
30:14is worse than death. his marriage. you want me to switch off the fascination? release gussy
30:19from my clutches? attagirl. well I can't. at least not yet. there's a little job I want him to do for
30:24me first. Stiffy!
30:28I'm only surprised you haven't turned professional gussy. really? it's not only a matter of your
30:33talent. you have an air of self-confidence about you. excuse me Stephanie. oh hello Fink.
30:41all eyes are drawn to you. I believe you. I'm not a fool. I'm a man of my word.
30:47I'm a man of my word. I'm a man of my word. I'm a man of my word.
30:55all eyes are drawn to you. I've been trying to speak to you Stephanie.
31:00yes Harold what is it? I'd like to sing at the concert. sing? you? well we have a very full
31:08program already. what do you think gussy? well... all right we'll think about it later.
31:17now to get back to what we were talking about gussy. the little thing I want you to do with
31:22constable Oates. well he's still got Bartholomew in custody.
31:32afternoon miss. good afternoon. that's all for today then. thank you postman.
31:43oh mr Ballinger I thought you'd like to know that manuscript we thought was lost has turned up.
31:48so what can that it's memoirs?
32:18none of that umbrella stuff tonight. I've got to. get me that I've got to.
32:48me me me me me me me me. how appropriate.
33:04ladies and gentlemen once again it is my pleasure
33:08to welcome you to the annual Totley in the world concert.
33:18what do you want? I feel it my duty to warn you officer that there is the likelihood of a
33:24disturbance in there at some point during the evening. a disturbance? you ought to be on hand
33:30to quell any unrest.
33:48so
33:58thank you. your rector would just like to show his profound gratitude for the rousing
34:22chair that he knows you're going to give him for his performance this evening. my umbrella! I've warned you!
34:40thank you Winnie Blackett. what a treat. and now ladies and gentlemen a pair of old favorites.
34:48your friends and mine from the Emerald Isle Pat and Mike.
34:59ah the top of the morning to you Michael and how are you today? now sure I'm well enough uh
35:05Patrick. I'm looking for a cap that I can wear when I'm riding my motorcycle.
35:09and can you not buy a cap to wear on your motorcycle? I do a little bit I can.
35:14Pat none of the shops sells one with a peaker at the back.
35:20did I not see you walking down the street?
35:29well now uh Pat um it's time for me to be on my way. I'm after looking for some oil for my
35:35motorcycle. um well if it can you not be after getting some from the garage? oh well now
35:43uh Pat it's got to be special oil. it's for my real amp you see so it's got to be red.
35:48hit him. hit him.
36:13and now ladies and gentlemen our curate the Reverend Harold Pinker to entertain us with a hunting song.
36:31oh harkens to the merry horn upon this jolly hunting morn.
36:36over break and over thorn a hunting we will go.
36:42we will go a hunting we will go pull up your socks and chase the fox a hunting we will go.
37:12I think he's gone. I say, Bertie, do you think you could get me some brandy?
37:22You mean orange juice? I mean brandy, about a bucketful.
37:25Large brandy, first pick, not all. Soda or gassy?
37:31You are sure about this, are you? Yes, I am.
37:37Chin, chin.
37:42What a appalling muck, like vitriol.
37:45Can you drink this stuff for pleasure? What are you drinking it for?
37:48I'm drinking it because I've heard it's the stuff to nerve you for frightful ordeals.
37:52The ordeal is over, Gussie. No, it isn't.
37:55Spode's after me because I hit him with my umbrella.
37:58Also, I've got to go and break into a police station and steal a dog.
38:02Say that again. I've promised Stephanie I'll go to Oats Cottage and extract that dog of hers.
38:07But, Gussie, you can't do that. She'll get 30 days in the jug.
38:10For Stephanie's sake, I'd do a year. Anyway, there's no chance of my being caught.
38:14Oats is still watching the concert. You sure? I saw him myself.
38:19Well, all the same, Stephanie wants me to extract her dog, and I'm going to do it.
38:24Gussie, he said to me, Gussie, you're such a help.
38:28I intend to be worthy of those words.
38:33Oh!
38:36Goodbye, Bertie.
38:40Ah, Jeeves. Sir, what did you make of the crosstalk act?
38:43Well, to my immense chagrin, sir, I missed that part of the entertainment.
38:47I was, however, in place with my clack in time for Mr Pinker's hunting song.
38:51And how was that? Well, sir, I can only say that I enjoyed it
38:54considerably more than did Constable Oats, who was standing nearby.
38:57Ah, didn't care for it, eh? No, sir.
38:59When Mr Pinker had finished, he said that he could abide no more and that he was going home.
39:04What?
39:07Do you know where Oats' house is, Jeeves? Yes, sir.
39:10We'll be in time. By now, Oats will be sitting on Gussie's chest, slipping her cuffs on him.
39:14Bertie!
39:16Stiffy? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be producing that ghastly entertainment.
39:20I thought it was going rather well. There's nothing more I can do, anyway.
39:23Oh, I see. So, having lured Gussie into de-dogging Constable Oats,
39:27you're just going to sit here vainly hoping that he'll do it.
39:29Well, let me tell you, my child, that Oats is at home.
39:54No!
39:56Come here, you dire! Here!
39:58I know you are!
40:00Please!
40:02Come here!
40:04No!
40:06No!
40:08No!
40:10No!
40:12No!
40:14No!
40:16No!
40:18No!
40:20No!
40:22Come here!
40:24I rather fancy that may be the little fellow now, sir.
40:28Come on, Bartholomew.
40:30Come on, Bartholomew!
40:40Time to be leaving, I think.
40:46Well, Jeeves, I hope I'm man enough to admit when I've been wrong.
40:49Gussie has quite obviously managed to...
40:51No!
40:53No!
40:55I fear the worst, sir.
40:57Oh, Jeeves, I think you're right.
40:59I'd never give you any sort of odds on Gussie as a sprinter on the flat.
41:01Stop, you bastard!
41:03Oh, Bartholomew!
41:07Oh, I'm surprised, Jeeves.
41:09Indeed, sir. One only wishes one had had advanced notice of this kind of form.
41:13Mr Fink-Nottle's ankle work was extremely convincing, it was, wasn't it?
41:17Perhaps one should have had a wager on this, sir.
41:21He should do it at a canter.
41:23Indeed, he should, sir.
41:27Come on now, it's a fair cup.
41:29Yes, of course, what one has not borne in mind, Jeeves, is that Mr Fink-Nottle is also a fathead.
41:33I mean, Constable Oates may not be one of Gloucestershire's brightest thinkers, but he's smart enough to stand under a tree.
41:37Get down now, come on!
41:39Perhaps I might intervene, sir.
41:41Intervene, Jeeves?
41:43Come on!
41:45I see what you mean. If you care to look the other way, sir.
41:47Get over that tree now!
41:51You're under arrest!
41:55I can wait here all night, you know.
42:07Good Lord, Jeeves!
42:09I thought it the safest way to avoid unpleasantness, sir.
42:11I think you'll find it safe to descend now, sir.
42:13Ah, thank you, Jeeves.
42:17Yes, Mr Ballinger.
42:19Yes.
42:21I will see that Sir Watkin gets your message as soon as possible.
42:23Goodbye, sir.
42:25Do you know what it is, Bertie,
42:27to have the scales fall from your eyes?
42:29Oh, yes, it happens all the time.
42:31They have fallen from mine,
42:33and I'll tell you when it happened.
42:35It was when I was up in that tree,
42:37gazing down at Constable Oates
42:39and hearing him describe the situation
42:41of a fair cop.
42:43In a flash, love died.
42:46In a flash, love died.
42:48Whose love?
42:50Mine, you ass!
42:52For Stephanie.
42:54I still admire her enormously, of course,
42:56but, you know, I feel I need someone
42:58less exciting.
43:04Stimpy is a fine person, Gussie.
43:06Admirably suited to be the bride
43:08of someone who won't object to her
43:10landing him on the whim of the moment
43:12herself at one of our more popular prisons.
43:14It would be a genuine pleasure for me
43:16to weigh in with the silver egg boiler
43:18or whatever you suggest as a wedding present.
43:28Ladies and gentlemen,
43:30a most remarkable thing
43:32has happened.
43:34I've just been informed
43:36that the manuscript of my memoirs,
43:38which I thought had been lost,
43:40has arrived at my publisher's office.
43:42I can't imagine what could have caused the delay
43:44but it makes this a day of celebration.
43:46Thank you.
43:50Bertie!
43:52I can't understand it.
43:54I simply cannot understand it.
43:56Well, I can. I understand it perfectly.
43:58You funked it.
44:00No, no, I...
44:02Perhaps you think I didn't mean what I said I did.
44:04Well, I did.
44:06Our engagement is over.
44:08Oh, now, Florence, I think...
44:11Escape.
44:15Well, that seems to be that, Bertie.
44:17Quiet, please.
44:19I wish to announce
44:21that Miss Stephanie Bing and I
44:23are getting married.
44:25Quiet, please.
44:27The wedding will take place on September 3rd.
44:29Sir Watkin, please.
44:31And you're all invited.
44:33Oh, isn't he wonderful?
44:43Isn't he wonderful?
44:49Jeeps!
44:51Yes, sir?
44:53That parcel has arrived in London.
44:55Yes, sir.
44:57Well, did you send it?
44:59Yes, sir.
45:02Do you know that Lady Florence
45:04has broken off her engagement with me?
45:06In my opinion, sir,
45:08and I'm sorry if this causes you any distress,
45:10you and Lady Florence are not ideally matched.
45:12Ladyship is of a highly
45:14arbitrary and determined temperament, sir.
45:16Quite opposed to your own.
45:18Oh, indeed, Jeeps.
45:20I'm very grateful for your opinion.
45:22I must say that what I had in mind from you
45:24was abject, quivering apology.
45:26This is very sad, Jeeps.
45:28But I'm going to have to think
45:30very seriously about your future.
45:32Are you a poet or an osler?
45:34I trust that is not alcohol I smell on your breath.
45:36Drunkenness may be de rigueur
45:38among the servants at some houses,
45:40but I should be sorry to see it take hold here.
45:42My lady?
45:44I suggest you read these.
45:46They're a brief introduction to the beliefs and aims
45:48of the Theosophical Society. Study them well.
45:50Thank you, my lady.
45:52Yes, well, I've thought seriously
45:54about your future, Jeeps,
45:56and I think it should continue very much
45:58with an apology, Jeeps.
46:00I know means, sir.
46:02Reminded you of anyone, Jeeps?
46:04Indeed I do, sir.
46:06The comparison is perhaps a felicitous one, sir.
46:08I was for nearly a year
46:10in the service of the young lady's father,
46:12Lord Wattleston,
46:14during which time I had ample opportunity
46:16to study her ladyship.
46:18Her cognomen in the servants' hall
46:20was Lady Caligula, sir.
46:22Hit me with an umbrella, would you,
46:24you miserable little mute lover!
46:26Ah! I'm going to tell you!
46:28Oh, Gussie seems to live only for excitement, Jeeps.
46:30Indeed, sir, he does seem to attract
46:32the attention of the rougher element.
46:34But to revert to the question of the manuscript,
46:36sir, in my opinion, Lady Florence
46:38has overestimated the danger of people
46:40being offended at being mentioned in Spock's book.
46:42In my experience,
46:44many respectable old gentlemen are by no means
46:46averse to having it advertised to them.
46:48It's too wild.