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00:30good afternoon mr. Fink-Nottle. mr. Worcester is not at home sir but perhaps I can get
00:37you some refreshments. no I want to see Bertie anyway. Jeeves! yes sir? it's about this
00:44wedding of mine Jeeves. I've got the most fateful problem. I can't sleep at night
00:49thinking about it. most distressing sir. I'm frightened of Sir Watkin Bassett
00:55Jeeves. your prospective father-in-law sir. and his friend Roderick Spode the
01:01amateur dictator. a week ago I realized that I'd have to make a speech at the
01:08wedding breakfast and that Roderick Spode and Sir Watkin Bassett would both be in
01:12the audience. perhaps I can be of assistance sir.
01:30it was lucky to get away with that shot you know because a shot like that you've
01:35got to get your wrists moving. well certainly. yes in fact I'll show you the
01:39wedding later on if you like. Ewing's wasn't all that wonderful Bertie.
01:52well better go and show them how it's done I suppose.
02:03that wasn't out. oh yes it was Tiffy. court of the wicked.
02:10ah
02:17two leg please umpire. well I must say Gussie's changed. oh yes when did you last
02:25see him? well apart from yesterday. gave him dinner at the Drones a couple of
02:30weeks ago. didn't you notice a change in him then? no I don't think so. but you
02:35know how it is when you're being a host keeping your eye on the waiters trying
02:39to head off cat's meet Potter Purbright from doing his imitation of Beatrice
02:42Lily. he's changed Bertie. oh yes yes he used to do Cicely Courtnage. I mean
02:49Augustus.
02:51all right.
02:56my dear.
02:58how's that?
03:08saying I'm out.
03:10at birth every citizen as of right will be eschewed with a British bicycle and an
03:19honest British made umbrella. thus assured of a mobile workforce adequately
03:26protected against the elements. this great country can go forward once more
03:33to glory. hooray! I say that's a jolly good idea. citizens of Tottenham the world I say
03:42to you that nothing stands between us and our victory except defeat. tomorrow
03:50is a new day. the future lies ahead. sure I'd never thought of that.
03:59hail Spock!
04:05that sort of thing really makes you think doesn't it? indeed it does Sam. ah
04:12geez glad to see you here. you're just the sort of person we need in the
04:16movement. the working masses. I hesitate to contradict you mr. Spode but the
04:23working masses and I have barely a nodding acquaintanceship. good afternoon.
04:32look Harold. there's uncle Wattie over there. now's the time for you to talk to him.
04:37what about? about us getting married of course. well yes but here. yes he was
04:44clapping every time you hit the ball. what? oh what is it mr. Pinker?
04:55well sir it's it's about Stephanie. about Stephanie? yes sir. I mean as you're her
05:01guardian I thought well the fact is sir Watkin we want to get married. married you
05:11and Stephanie? oh no no no no no quite out of the question. you're the curate
05:15aren't you? yes sir. can't afford a wife man. well sir Stephanie seems willing to
05:21give it a try. that's what guardians are for young man. to protect their wards
05:26from trial and error. absolutely hopeless. didn't give me a chance to speak. that was
05:40a no ball. I am talking to you constable Oates. was you addressing me miss? yes I
05:50was constable Oates. that ball you got mr. Pinker out with was a no ball. miss why
05:57was that? because it was. let me say this to you miss. I got my eye on certain
06:03people. certain people were dogs. if you really loved me you'd do something about
06:15that man. what do you mean do something? steal his helmet. he took a complete fool
06:22walking around the village without his helmet on. I can't go around stealing policemen's helmets. he insulted me.
06:29oh no I don't think he meant any... if you can't even do a simple thing like stealing a
06:34policeman's helmet for me well then I agree with my uncle about you. you'll never be a bishop.
06:40that was never out. the standard of umpiring in village cricket nowadays is really very poor.
07:03stop the car Bertie.
07:09will you keep this rabble of yours out of the way of the traffic? how dare you? this highly
07:20trained force has far more right to the road than you. don't talk rot Spode. I am not in the
07:26habit of talking rot. well I must say you're doing dashed well for a beginner. drive on Bertie.
07:33clear the road.
07:52Gussie I don't know how to put this but you've changed.
08:02you can imagine what it was like for me to contemplate getting up to make a speech with
08:05Roderick Spode on one side and Watkin Bassett on the other. well Roderick Spode has loved
08:10Madeline since she was well so high. oh yes. yeah but he doesn't want to marry her you see. he looks
08:15upon himself as a man of destiny and feels that marriage would interfere with his mission. what
08:21do you mean his mission? the fascist crew we saw just now. the black shorts. he's the founder. anyway
08:27yesterday I placed my problem before Jeeves. that man is a marvel Bertie. well what did you
08:35advise Jeeves? I approached the matter from a psychological angle sir. it occurred to me that
08:40we do not fear those who we despise. the tactic therefore is to cultivate a lofty contempt for
08:46those who are about to listen to one. yes but how? quite simply sir one fills one's mind with
08:52scornful thoughts of them. one must never cease to remind oneself that we once saw Robinson reigned
08:59before magistrates for traveling first-class on a second-class ticket and so on sir. Robinson will
09:04have lost his sting. you dominate him. sounds all very well in theory Jeeves but does it work in
09:09practice one asks oneself? like a dweam! you saw me just now Spode. the moment Jeeves spoke those
09:15words I settled down to think of all the things about Roderick Spode and Sir Watkin Bassett which
09:21exposed them to the just contempt of their fellow men. like the fact that Spode's moustache looks
09:27as if someone's just squashed a fly on his upper lip. no in fact Jeeves I went one better. indeed
09:33sir? yes I wouldn't forget anything. I wrote it all down in the notebook. you wrote it down sir?
09:39yeah in the little notebook. where do you keep it? in my back pocket. here it is.
09:45dropped it? yes but it's all right. I can remember every word. oh good stuff is it? oh the best. good
09:58good no chance of Spode or Bassett being born when they read it. no. now now Gussie stop.
10:10I've got to get out of here. calm down. think Gussie. is there anywhere you may have dropped it? I can't think. how can I think?
10:16is there anywhere you may have dropped it? no. well I had it in my trouser pocket when I was
10:21playing tennis this morning. who are you playing with? Stephanie.
10:26we need more chairs. there are 400 guests with us.
10:34what's up Stiffy?
10:36hello Bertie. isn't it exciting? oh yes indeed.
10:40Stiffy have you by any chance got a small leather-covered notebook that Gussie might have dropped this morning?
10:47the one full of the excellent character studies of Roger Spode and my guardian? that's a jab. yes yes I've got it.
10:52you have? gosh what a relief. well I'll sort of take it as it were if you don't mind. what do you want it for?
10:58well I want it because Gussie might easily lose it again and then it might fall into the hands of your uncle.
11:03in which event he would certainly kick the stuffing out of the Gussie Madeline wedding arrangements.
11:07and then Madeline might well get ideas once again about marrying yours truly.
11:12you know Bertie I'm sure your man James could think of some way of getting uncle Watkin to approve of Harold.
11:22of course one wishes you all the luck in the world and all that but I don't quite see...
11:27then I could give you back the notebook.
11:32Stiffy are you trying to blackmail me?
11:36yes. excuse me Bertie.
11:38come along. you should have finished that by now.
11:42there must be some way of getting Stiffy and Stinker under starters orders without old Sir Watkin registering an objection.
11:48Sir Watkin is not a man easily persuaded sir.
11:56what is it Jeeves?
11:58there are some curious objects in the wardrobe sir.
12:02curious objects?
12:06they're handkerchiefs Jeeves. handkerchiefs.
12:09I think not sir. they appear to have writing on them.
12:13oh come now Jeeves.
12:15I bought a couple of dozen of them the other day and they offered to put my initials on. see BWW.
12:19I see sir. with what purpose in mind sir?
12:23they look dashed smart.
12:25do you sir?
12:27yes Jeeves I do.
12:29anyway to return to the problem at hand I told Gussie that Stiffy wouldn't give his notebook back
12:34and he got a wild look in his eye. only worried he might do something rash and upset the apple cart.
12:39yes?
12:43oh Gussie.
12:45I've brought you a newt.
12:47a newt?
12:49I thought you might like one.
12:51you'd better come in.
12:53they make wonderful pets.
12:55really?
12:57Bertie says you won't give him my notebook.
12:59he knows what he's got to do.
13:01I need it Stephanie. Sir Watkin gets all the...
13:03jolly hard luck.
13:05I bet I know where it is.
13:08thank you for the newt Gussie.
13:10I've got to have it Stephanie.
13:12well you can't. Gussie stop it!
13:14I'm sorry Stephanie.
13:16I must have it Stephanie!
13:18Gussie!
13:20Natalie!
13:22Natalie!
13:24I just came to give Stephanie a newt.
13:26ah!
13:36shall I lay out one of your novelty handkerchiefs for you today sir?
13:39oh come off it Jeeves.
13:41everyone wears things with initials on them nowadays.
13:43I thought practice was restricted to those who are in danger of forgetting their names sir.
13:48you know Jeeves there was a very odd atmosphere at dinner last night.
13:52perhaps best described as dour.
13:55I was never under the impression that Totley Towers had a reputation for prandial jocundity sir.
14:00true Jeeves true but the atmosphere was even less than usually jocund.
14:04mr. Fink-Nottle was presumably worrying about his notebook sir.
14:08mr. Fink-Nottle did not turn up for dinner at all Jeeves.
14:10indeed sir.
14:11and Roderick Spode didn't look too happy either.
14:13now I have grizzly premonitions about Spode Jeeves.
14:16the trouble is I've forgotten that jolly useful word you unearthed for me.
14:19sir?
14:20what about some scandal in Spode's past that always reduces him to a quivering mass of apology.
14:24I have a feeling I may need it.
14:26you are referring I think sir to Eulalie.
14:29Eulalie that's it yes.
14:31I wish you could tell me what the word meant Jeeves.
14:33I have no complaints. it's undoubtedly been successful in the past but it's
14:36rather like holding up a bank and not knowing whether your gun is loaded or not.
14:39I fear I am not at liberty to elucidate sir.
14:42you may rest assured however that the weapon is loaded.
14:47the other really odd thing about last night was Madeline's attitude.
14:50her eyes were distinctly swiveling in my direction and
14:53she says she wants to meet me in the library this morning.
14:56Bertie I wish I was dead.
14:58it's all over.
15:00what is?
15:01me and Madeline. we're finished.
15:03what?
15:05what have you been doing to her?
15:06it wasn't me. it was her.
15:08you know you told me Stephanie wouldn't give up the notebook.
15:10yes.
15:11well I took her a newt.
15:13you took her a newt?
15:15I thought it might soften her up.
15:18you thought a newt might soften her up?
15:20yes. it didn't though.
15:22anyway I was struggling with her on the bed and then...
15:24wait a minute. wait a minute.
15:26Madeline came in.
15:28that's the whole story.
15:45oh
16:01what ho Madeline?
16:04enjoying a nice day and all that what?
16:06oh Bertie.
16:08Bertie I wanted to tell you that my engagement to Augustus is at an end.
16:13oh right. yes well he told me.
16:15I'm now free to make you happy.
16:17I will be your wife Bertie.
16:19ah good heavens.
16:21well deeply sensible of the the Omar and all that.
16:24but don't you think you're being a bit rough on poor old Gussie though?
16:27what? after what happened between him and Stephanie?
16:30ah well I was going to talk to you about that.
16:32you know I often think it's as well on these occasions to have a few words with a seasoned man of the world and get the real lowdown.
16:38I mean you wouldn't like to have to start wringing your hands later and saying gosh if only I'd known.
16:42no I think you're wronging Gussie. let me explain.
16:44there can be no explanation Bertie.
16:46I have blocked Augustus from my life.
16:48Gussie? no no no no no no.
16:50you see that's just where you're making a bloomer.
16:52I've finished with Augustus.
16:54from today he will be merely a memory.
16:57a memory that will grow fainter through the years.
17:00with you beside me I shall be able to exorcise Augustus's spell.
17:06now I'd best go and tell daddy to announce our engagement at the ball tonight.
17:11no no no no no.
17:13don't do that.
17:15but I must. otherwise he's going to announce my engagement to Augustus.
17:18no well...
17:20let's leave it till later.
17:24Jeeves?
17:26oh thank goodness you're here.
17:28Madeleine is going to tell her father that we're engaged.
17:31it was perhaps only to be expected sir.
17:34what am I gonna do Jeeves?
17:36it goes to me to wonder sir
17:38that if miss Bassett were to see for herself the contents of mr. Fink-Nottle's notebook
17:42it might lend credence to his story
17:44of how he came to be grappling with miss being in her bedroom.
17:48well I don't mind Jeeves but the blasted Stiffy won't hand it over.
17:51I say Jeeves I've just had a thought.
17:53do you know Stiffy's room?
17:55yes.
17:58right Jeeves you take the wardrobe. I'll deal with the chest of drawers.
18:13Jeeves?
18:15yes sir?
18:17did you speak Jeeves?
18:19no sir.
18:27bark bark
18:37surely not frightened of a tiny little dog Jeeves.
18:40if I may be so bold as to contradict you sir
18:42the creature seems to me to be above average in muscular development.
18:46I would also draw your attention to the number and size of the teeth.
18:51bark
18:53growl
18:55growl
19:01growl
19:03growl
19:05growl
19:07bark
19:09what ho Stiffy.
19:11I took a surprise to see us here.
19:13no I'm not.
19:15you've been looking for that notebook I suppose.
19:17yes yes we have.
19:19we hadn't really got started. we were somewhat impeded by the Bow Wow.
19:22he took our entrance in the wrong spirit.
19:24indeed he did sir.
19:26a fine watchdog miss.
19:28yes.
19:30would it be too much to ask you to attach a stout lead to the little fellow's collar thus making the world safe for democracy?
19:36yes it would.
19:38wouldn't you want to save the lives of two fellow creatures?
19:41no I wouldn't.
19:43not if they're men. I loathe all men.
19:45come now Stiffy.
19:47don't you come now me Bertie Worcester.
19:49do you know what Harold said?
19:52no I don't.
19:54I'd be most interested to learn of course.
19:57I burn with curiosity sir.
19:59I feel however that I could give the matter livelier attention were I not perched on this wardrobe.
20:04bark
20:12growl
20:14I got to the rectory and I went in and
20:16after we talked of this and that for a while
20:19I said when are you going to pinch Eustace Oates' helmet for me darling?
20:24Eustace Oates? you mean the policeman?
20:26yes.
20:28you can't ask respectable curates of the Church of England to go around stealing policemen's helmets.
20:33there you are you see. you're all as bad.
20:36that's exactly what he said.
20:38so I said oh
20:40drawing myself up.
20:42in that case our engagement is at an end.
20:45and he dropped a whole box of colored slides from the Holy Land and I came away.
20:49you can't mean this Stiffy.
20:51I can.
20:53and I consider I've had a very lucky escape.
20:55if he's going to refuse me every little thing I ask
20:58then I'm glad I found out in time.
21:03well this is this is too bad Stiffy.
21:06the heart bleeds.
21:08distinctly so.
21:11well I can only hope that the time and the great healer will eventually rally around and stitch up the wound.
21:17in the meantime under the circumstance I think we'd better just take the notebook and toddle off Stiffy.
21:20oh don't talk to me about notebooks now.
21:23how can you be so heartless?
21:25I wish I were dead.
21:27then you'd be sorry then wouldn't you?
21:30oh dear
21:40come in
21:46Madeline Medea what can I do for you?
21:48dad there's something I have to tell you.
21:53Bertie Worcester?
21:55no! oh dear god Madeline not that.
21:59look at them Jeeves.
22:01only last evening miss Madeline Bassett lost the love of her life.
22:05only an hour ago miss Stephanie being two was allegedly heartbroken.
22:08now look at them.
22:10I mean are these the actions of rational human beings Jeeves?
22:14it's difficult to say sir.
22:16is it for this that we dragged ourselves from the primeval ooze?
22:20to stir up the emotions of simple honest citizens to the point of frenzy
22:24and then go around playing tennis and giggling?
22:27it's an interesting question sir.
22:29I say Stiffy!
22:31oh hello Bertie.
22:32well I must say you appear to have recovered your spirits in a rather remarkable manner.
22:36one tries to keep cheerful you know.
22:38oh does one does one indeed. well in that case Stiffy I'll trouble you cheerfully to
22:41disgorge Gussie's notebook without any more backchat.
22:44oh ha jolly ha.
22:46ha jolly ha to you young Stiffy with knobs on.
22:49and ha jolly ha to you with double knobs on.
22:51if I might be permitted to suggest a course of action sir.
22:55what do you mean? you found a formula Jeeves?
22:57the idea I have sir is to take advantage of Sir Watkin Bassett's attitude to you.
23:02Sir Watkin does not like you sir.
23:05well I don't like him.
23:07no sir but he would consequently sustain a severe shock were you to inform him that you and Miss Bing
23:13were betrothed and anxious to be united in matrimonial bliss.
23:18he'd hit the ceiling.
23:20exactly miss. a very colorful piece of imagery.
23:23if you were then to assure your uncle that there was no truth in mr. Worcester's statement
23:28adding that you were in actual fact betrothed to mr. Pinker
23:32I think that the overwhelming relief he would feel at the news
23:36would lead him to look with a kindly eye on your betrothal to that gentleman.
23:40why Jeeves that's marvelous. it couldn't fail.
23:44if I said the chap I really wanted to marry was the boy who cleans the boots
23:49he'd fold me in his arms and promise to come and dance at my wedding after being threatened with Bertie.
23:54Jeeves you really are the specific dream rabbit.
23:58oh really? well I'll take the notebook now Stiffy.
24:02after you've seen uncle Watkin.
24:04I have no intention whatever of seeing uncle Watkin.
24:07don't you like the scheme?
24:09like the scheme? no I don't. I consider the idea that Jeeves has advanced
24:13to mark the absolute zero in human goofiness. the book Stiffy if you please.
24:17I was rather asking myself if you might not take this attitude.
24:19well now you know the answer. I have. the book if you please.
24:28now I want you to keep a general lookout. there's always a few gate crashers.
24:32I'll keep my eyes peeled sir Watkin sir.
24:34yes mr. Worcester. could I speak to you for a moment sir Watkin?
24:38no hurry. speak to me? well if you really...
24:42yes all right that's about all I think.
24:45very good sir. Watkin sir.
24:49now mr. Worcester. yes well I just wanted to have a bit of a chat.
24:52yes? have you ever thought about love sir Watkin?
24:56you didn't come here to discuss love.
24:58well yes I have actually.
25:00I mean wherever you go there it is buzzing along in every class of life.
25:04I mean take Newt's for instance.
25:06you quite well mr. Worcester. no no no!
25:09the big flower arrangements for the buffet table.
25:12no I was I was just quoting Gussie Fink-Nottle really.
25:15Reeve and Newt's that is. and starfish too according to Gussie.
25:18and also ribbon like seaweed which is a seaweed that sort of looks like ribbon.
25:23anyway Gussie! mr. Worcester!
25:26will you please come to the point?
25:28oh right. well I just want to say that you will not be losing a niece but gaining a nephew.
25:33niece? nephew? Stiffy and me you know.
25:36Stiffy? Stephanie!
25:38I have the honor to ask for your niece's hand in marriage.
25:42well I thought it was my daughter.
25:46what was?
25:49my daughter distinctly told me that you and she were...
25:53Madeline? no no no no no no no no no it's it's Stiffy all right. Stephanie yes.
25:59oh well in that case of course mr. Worcester.
26:04I'm delighted. I'm sure you and Stephanie will be very happy together.
26:11are you absolutely sure about that sir?
26:15she will make something of you perhaps.
26:17I'm sure there are many good qualities underneath that rough exterior.
26:22well no actually.
26:24now if you will excuse me mr. Worcester there are still many things yet to be done.
26:29I shall take the greatest pleasure in announcing your engagement to Stephanie at the ball this evening.
26:37what do you mean we're engaged?
26:39she welcomed me with open arms.
26:41it was always a danger of course.
26:43I have no intention in the world of being engaged to you Bertie Worcester.
26:46well it's going to be announced tonight.
26:48not if I have anything to do with it it isn't.
26:51bicycles not father true Englishman not father true born Englishman blah blah blah
27:17British bicycles
27:24something umbrellas
27:26something something something something
27:30the entire expanse of Hertfordshire
27:38Brussels sprouts
27:41hey hey
27:45something something something
27:48mr. Spode I was looking for you.
27:51um yes what is it Stephanie?
27:54it's about me and mr. Pinker.
27:57uncle Watkins being terribly mean about him.
28:00I was wondering if you could talk to him for me.
28:03he does respect your opinion.
28:06I really don't think that I can interfere in a purely family matter Stephanie.
28:12oh yes of course I understand that mr. Spode.
28:16but but I have something you might be interested to see.
28:20oh really?
28:35where'd you like these two? put them down there please.
29:05what is it?
29:11Stiffy it's me.
29:14Harold can I come in?
29:16no you can't.
29:18but I brought you something.
29:21Harold you woolly bar lamb.
29:25you haven't got it after all.
29:27yes
29:30Harold my dream of joy.
29:34you're the most wonderful man in the whole wonderful world.
29:45sorry to disturb you sir. I asked to make a search of all the rooms.
29:49an item of police equipment has been stolen.
29:52what fun. in your cab.
29:54much obliged sir.
30:04come out you putrid little earthworm!
30:29Spode!
30:31you stay out of this!
30:33Spode you seem to forget who you're speaking to.
30:36remember I know all about you Lily.
30:38oh.
30:40you was there.
30:42nice evening.
30:44pardon my words Spode. this is too much.
30:46this is just that little bit above the odds that compels a man to take drastic steps.
30:49but Wooster!
30:51I must warn you Spode that my patience is not inexhaustible.
30:54but you don't know the provocation I've had from this Fink-Nottle.
30:57he says that I am a pompous ass.
31:00when did mr. Fink-Nottle say that to you?
31:02he didn't say it. he wrote it!
31:04look!
31:06yes um
31:08give me that book Spode.
31:10I should like you to have it Wooster.
31:12then you can see what I mean.
31:14look what he says there about how I eat asparagus.
31:18I'm gonna tear your head from off your shoulders!
31:21Spode!
31:23control yourself.
31:25sorry sorry.
31:27are you going to keep the book?
31:29I am.
31:31can I get on with beating this door down?
31:33certainly not. all you do now is pop off.
31:35pop off?
31:37leave me Spode. I would be alone.
31:39yes.
31:41thank you Wooster.
31:43good night.
31:48Gussie! your troubles are over.
31:51I wish I was in Lincolnshire Bertie.
31:53it's so peaceful in Lincolnshire Bertie.
31:55never mind about that. I got your notebook back.
31:57oh Bertie!
31:59now you sprint along and show it to Madeline
32:01and she'll understand why you were so anxious to wrest it from Stiffy's handbag.
32:03will she Bertie?
32:05she will she will. now go.
32:09Gussie how could you?
32:11well it's true.
32:13he has got hair growing out of his ears.
32:17shall we take the poultry and roast beef up to the buffet?
32:19no miss Madeline.
32:21oh yes the guests will start arriving soon.
32:23but you see I had to get the book back from Stephanie.
32:26Gussie you are so foolish sometimes.
32:28but I suppose I can be foolish too.
32:30do you know what that blasted Fink-Nottle has done?
32:34Mr. Fink-Nottle is here daddy.
32:36you you you goggle-eyed idiot!
32:39you filled me bath up with newts!
32:41I know that.
32:43oh my gosh you haven't touched them have you?
32:45I'm in the middle of a most important experiment.
32:47touched them?
32:49I've put the plug on a beastly things.
32:51I'm not going to share my bath with a lot of slimy amphibians.
32:53you silly old ass!
32:56you unmitigated pudding-headed old jobber now!
33:19if it wasn't for the awful threat of lifelong union to Stiffy Bean Jeans
33:23I should be quite looking forward to this threat.
33:25an unlooked-for betrothal often casts appalls.
33:29oh Bertie!
33:31Bertie it's all off again.
33:33what is? the marriage of course.
33:35I didn't know it was on.
33:37I'm rather losing track of your vagaries Gussie.
33:39didn't you show Madeline the notebook?
33:41yes that was all right. then I had a row with her father.
33:44oh and uh...
33:46what about?
33:47well I broke one of the tanks in my room and had to put a few newts in his bath.
33:51in his bath?
33:52he didn't like it. he pulled the plug out.
33:54and?
33:55I ticked him off properly.
33:57called him every name I could think of.
33:59in fact I called him names I hadn't the notion I knew.
34:01and when I finally poured for breath he forbade the bands and I gave him the notebook.
34:07you gave him the notebook?
34:08yes just as he was leaving.
34:10thought there might be some names in it which I'd forgotten to call him.
34:12what's the matter Bertie?
34:14can't you see what you've done you poor old chump?
34:16if old Bassett has read the contents of that notebook then nothing will bring him round.
34:20words spoken in anger you might have got away with.
34:22but coldly considered opinions inscribed day by day in a notebook.
34:25well that's another matter.
34:27oh my lord.
34:29what shall I do?
34:31am I to gather that sir Watkin was about to bathe when he found your little creatures in his bath sir?
34:36yes I suppose so. he had his dressing gown on.
34:39it is possible then that sir Watkin has not yet read the contents of the notebook
34:43that he has set it aside as something to look forward to after he has completed his ablutions.
34:49George Deaver absolutely right.
34:51all you have to do Gussie is to nip into his room and pitch the notebook while he's in the bath.
35:05darling you look lovely.
35:08oh Freddie you've come as your father. never mind.
35:11have you seen daddy Stephanie?
35:13I don't think he's come down yet.
35:19oh
35:39did you see that fink knocker come this way?
35:41fink?
35:42knocker dressed up as the devil.
35:44no one hasn't come this way sir Watkin sir.
35:46Watkin I've been looking for you. the guests are wondering where you are.
35:49did you see that fink knocker as you came up?
35:51no.
35:52blast it. what are you doing up here anyway?
35:54searching sir Watkin sir.
35:56searching?
35:57someone has stolen my helmet.
35:59stolen your helmet?
36:01correct sir Watkin sir.
36:03oh I know who's got that. Bertie Worcester.
36:05then ho for the festivities Jeeves.
36:08well I must say Jeeves if there is a dash to be cut tonight your employer will be the one who is cutting it.
36:14I hope that sir Watkin's announcement of your nuptials will in no way tarnish your enjoyment sir.
36:19I was trying to blot that out of my memory Jeeves.
36:22is the prisoner not to be allowed a few brief moments of forgetfulness before execution takes place?
36:26I'm sorry sir. it was thoughtless of me.
36:29no matter Jeeves. we Worcesters are known for our insouciance in the face of fearful odds.
36:34my cigarette case if you please.
36:36oh the lighter if it's there.
36:41something amiss Jeeves?
36:43you appear to be preoccupied.
36:45yes sir I have discovered that there is a policeman's helmet concealed in our wardrobe.
37:10can I be of assistance?
37:11we have come for a search your room my man.
37:18what ho sir Watkin?
37:19kindly do not address me in that familiar way Worcester.
37:22I happen to know that once again you yield to the awful temptation to steal a policeman's helmet.
37:27oh rot!
37:28the constable and I have received specific information from an eyewitness.
37:32he will proceed therefore to search your room without delay.
37:36very well if that is the spirit in which you interpret your duties as a host carry on.
37:40all I can say is don't count on me coming back here.
37:43right.
37:59means that one will be able to give over the entire area of Worcestershire to the production of turnips.
38:07I don't want to hear mr. Spode talking about Brussels sprouts.
38:10it's changed my life I can tell you.
38:17Frank Knottle!
38:24I'm going to ram that notebook of yours down your throat!
38:38Augustus thinks I'm cross with him.
38:40I was so impressed by the way he stood up to my father.
38:43Augustus is such a strong man.
38:46strong and silent.
39:04he's got it somewhere sir Watkin.
39:06I swear it appears I owe him an apology mr. Worcester.
39:10sir W Bassett you never spoke a truer word.
39:13I came here at your house as a guest in good faith.
39:17and I have been subjected to intolerable abuse. my goods and chattels have been violated.
39:21is this the way you welcome guests in Gloucestershire?
39:24hmm? hmm? hmm?
39:26I mean is this the treatment to which freeborn right-thinking Englishmen are to be subjected?
39:30no I say.
39:32since time immemorial it has been truly said that Britons never never never shall be slaves.
39:37and yet and yet my friends.
39:39today innocent Britons may be invited to seemingly respectable country houses for the weekend.
39:44and used most finely.
39:53on the other hand I must take to heart of you.
39:56there's a lot to be said on both sides I'm sure.
39:58I arrest you Bertrand Worcester on a charge of theft of police equipment.
40:02namely helmets. police constable saw his seven and three-quarters one off.
40:08I knew it! I knew it!
40:10didn't I say?
40:12and to think I was about to announce his engagement to the ward.
40:15you blackguard!
40:18steady.
40:28ah
40:59hi!
41:01oh Bertie!
41:03you're still there are you?
41:05yes I'm still here thanks to you young stiffy.
41:08oh don't be such a cross patch. it all worked out perfectly.
41:11as you turned to crime again
41:13uncle Watkin decided that even Harold was a better bet for his favorite niece.
41:16we're reading the bounds this morning.
41:18thanks old man. well that's all very well but...
41:21got to go now Bertie.
41:29Heil Spode!
41:39mr. Spode sir
41:44just one word sir.
41:47now what is it?
41:50the one word sir
41:52is Eulalie.
41:55you're free to go now.
41:57free?
42:07by the way mummy did you pay my bail?
42:09no chief said all the charges have been dropped.
42:25hello
42:29carry on men.
42:38what are you doing here?
42:40I distinctly told Oates to...
42:42ah Roderick
42:44on your way to Minchin Hampton?
42:46well no
42:48the fact is I hear there's been some trouble about
42:51the helmet I stole from constable Oates.
42:54you Roderick?
42:56silly thing to do. I see that now.
42:58it was an uncontrollable impulse.
43:00I yielded.
43:02you yielded Roderick?
43:04I did it once at Oxford too.
43:06good god above.
43:08I know.
43:09I was going to keep quiet about it but Worcester's man tells me that you've got the idea that Worcester did it.
43:13so of course I had to come tell you.
43:16I'll go back to London I think.
43:18it would be best in the circumstances.
43:23well
43:25it appears I owe you an apology.
43:27say no more about it Bassett.
43:29my innocence is established that's all that matters.
43:31I take it that I'm now free to leave.
43:33certainly certainly. goodbye.
43:35and not so fast. I'll trouble you for that notebook of mr. Fing-Nottles first.
43:39certainly not. that is evidence mr. Worcester.
43:41very well sir Watkin.
43:43then in tomorrow's times you can read the announcement of my forthcoming marriage to your daughter Madeline.
43:47you wouldn't.
43:49I dash well would.
43:51that's below the belt Worcester.
43:53thank you. goodbye Bassett.
43:55I need scarcely say I think that I hope this will be a lesson to you.
44:01you really again Jeeves?
44:03indeed sir.
44:05a dash useful word that.
44:07there isn't anyone else I could use it on is there?
44:09I regret not sir.
44:11oh
44:13no
44:15no
44:17Bertie Jeeves!
44:19oh it's a miracle!
44:21I've missed you!
44:23I've missed you!
44:25Gussie we are going to burn this tragic notebook of yours.
44:27took me ages to think of all those things.
44:29you will now forget them again.
44:31all right.
44:33then I beseech you Gussie never ever ever to write derogatory things about your elders and betters again.
44:37no Bertie.
44:39I don't know what I'm going to do Bertie.
44:41I can't get back to Tockley.
44:43never mind Gussie. Madeline adores you.
44:45love will find a way.
44:47no it's my nukes I'm worried about.
44:49will she send them on to me?
44:56you ever been to Gussie's place in Lincolnshire?
44:58no. what's it like?
45:00a lot of nukes.
45:05good lord!
45:10it's Spode!
45:14that doesn't suit him does it?
45:21well sir seeing that you have discovered part of the matter for yourself
45:25I feel at liberty to disclose the rest of mr. Spode's secret.
45:29mr. Spode designs ladies underclothing sir.
45:33he has a considerable talent in that direction
45:35and has indulged it secretly for some years.
45:38he is the proprietor and founder of that Emporium Eulalie Sears that you chanced across.
45:44good lord! well no wonder he didn't want it to come out.
45:47no sir it would undoubtedly jeopardize his authority amongst his followers.
45:51yes you can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing.
45:56no sir.
45:58one or the other not both.
46:00precisely sir.
46:02you know Jeeves in spite of Roderick Spode's somewhat idiosyncratic ways
46:05he's undoubtedly a severe menace to man and beast.
46:08I'm sure that is so sir.
46:10you saved me from him Jeeves.
46:12instead of being beaten to a jelly by this maniac
46:15I sit before you now the same perfectly formed fellow I was before.
46:19Jeeves!
46:20you may get rid of those handkerchiefs. I owe it to you.
46:23thank you sir. I destroyed them last night.
46:26did you by Jeeves?
46:29well very good then Jeeves. chin chin.
46:33your very good health sir.