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00:00The Adventures of Ozzie and Harry.
00:11Dave!
00:12Right there, Mom.
00:15How come you were so late getting home? We were beginning to get worried about you.
00:18Oh, I'm sorry. I was late for a while. I was down at the playground.
00:22Hey, you haven't used that excuse since you were seven.
00:25Nevertheless, it's the truth.
00:26Do you still get seasick on the swings?
00:29I'm just getting a few things straightened out.
00:31A friend of mine is playground director down there, and I'm going to take over for him for a couple of weeks.
00:35Gee, that sounds like fun, Dave. What are you going to do?
00:37Well, they're starting up a football team, and I'm going to be the coach.
00:40Oh, gee, that's wonderful.
00:42I think the happiest time of my life was when I was coaching football at Lincoln High School.
00:46Of course, that was before your father met me.
00:50No, I don't mean it was the happiest time of my life, but it was a lot of fun coaching those kids.
00:54You won eight and lost two, didn't you, Pop?
00:56I thought you won two and lost eight.
00:59No, I don't think it was as bad as... The second season was pretty...
01:05Well, you know, you can't win football games if you don't have good material.
01:10Do you have some pretty big boys out for your team?
01:12Well, yeah, a couple. I haven't seen them all yet. Our first practice is tomorrow.
01:16Oh, how old are the boys?
01:17Oh, they're just little guys from eight to ten.
01:19And they play tackle football?
01:21Sure, that's the best time to learn the fundamentals.
01:23Kids learn very quickly when they're that age.
01:26Are you going to play single wing or T formation, Dave?
01:28I don't know yet, Pop. I haven't made up any plays.
01:31Well, if you need any help, just call on me.
01:34Thanks a lot. I may pick you up on that.
01:37Hey, wait a second. This is a coincidence.
01:41I just ran across this the other day.
01:43What is it?
01:44My old whistle I used to use when I was coaching Lincoln High School.
01:47Here you are, Dave. It may bring you some luck.
01:49Oh, thanks a lot, Pop.
01:51Wait a second. Let me immortalize this scene.
01:57Hold it.
02:02I hope I can live up to this.
02:07Live up to it? You can't even blow it.
02:13Everybody over here.
02:14First of all, I want you to know that there are 11 positions open on the team.
02:17This is going to be true right through the season.
02:19I want you to listen to me carefully and do exactly as you're told.
02:22I'm going to do my best now to pick out the best man for each job.
02:25And if it turns out there's a better man, then he'll get that position.
02:28I'm a pretty good passer.
02:29Don't forget I throw the paper to your door every morning.
02:31You miss it four out of five times.
02:35Okay, now let's have the backs and the ends over here and the linemen over here.
02:38Okay, now let's have the backs and the ends over here and the linemen over here.
03:08Hey!
03:17Hey!
03:21Hey!
03:23Hey!
03:36Hey!
03:45See if you can catch his putt, Stanley.
03:48Hey, look after your turn, too.
04:02Number 10, I think we'll start with you at quarterback.
04:04I understand, fellas, that none of these positions are permanent.
04:07Now, what's your name?
04:08Jane Marksley.
04:12Gee, I really don't think you should play quarterback.
04:15Gee, I really don't think you should play.
04:17Why not?
04:18Well, you're a girl.
04:19Well, I know it.
04:20Well, this is football. This is a boys' game.
04:23I read the rule book, and there's nothing good girls can't play.
04:26Well, I realize that. It's just that girls don't usually play football.
04:29Well, don't you think I pass good?
04:31Well, you pass fine.
04:32And I'm a pretty good punter, too. You want to see me?
04:34No, I believe you. It's just I didn't count on having a girl on the team.
04:38She's a really good player, coach.
04:40She's been playing football with us ever since we were kids.
04:44Well, okay, fellas, let's line up a temporary first team, and we'll run through a few signals.
04:48Come on, over here.
04:54Okay, fellas, now, don't push. There's enough for everybody.
04:57What about second?
04:58What about third?
05:03This is our team, Pop.
05:04Oh, well, I hope you have a good season, boys.
05:07Why don't you take that stuff out in the backyard?
05:09Take it easy. Only five cookies to each guy now.
05:12Five?
05:15On the backyard, fellas.
05:29Well, it looks like you got a bunch of wild Indians infused out there, Dave.
05:32How are they as a football team?
05:34Oh, they're pretty good. They got a lot of spirit.
05:36Yeah, I can see that.
05:37Did you find yourself a quarterback?
05:39No, I wanted to talk to you about that situation.
05:41Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
05:43That's a tough position on the team to fill.
05:45No, we've got a good quarterback.
05:47What? What's your problem?
05:49His name is Jane.
05:51Jane?
05:53How can parents name a boy Jane?
05:55That's just it. He's a girl.
05:58A girl? Well, you can't have a girl on a football team.
06:02Is there anything in the rule book that says you can't?
06:04Well, no, not that I know of.
06:07Girls just don't play football.
06:09Yeah, I know. It's too bad she's a girl. She's really a good little player.
06:12But you're right. It just wouldn't work out.
06:14Well, what are you going to do about it?
06:16Well, I thought I'd take you up on your offer.
06:18Well, what offer was that?
06:20Well, you said if I ever had any problems, you'd help me out.
06:22And I thought maybe you could talk her out of being on the team.
06:26Gee, Dave, that wasn't exactly the kind of problem I had in mind.
06:29Hey, Coach, can I have some more cookies?
06:31Sure, Jane. Come on in.
06:32Janey, this is my father.
06:34Hi, Mr. Nelson. Football sure makes you hungry. Can I have some milk?
06:38You sure can. Pop will get you some. Won't you, Pop?
06:40Oh.
06:41Sit down there. I'll get your glass.
06:49That's a nice-looking uniform you've got there.
06:51Thank you. I got a new dress for my birthday, so I traded it in for this uniform.
06:56Wouldn't you rather have the new dress?
06:58Well, you can't play football in a dress.
07:00No, I guess you've got a point there.
07:02But football is a boys' game.
07:05Well, there's nothing in the rulebook that says girls can't play.
07:08Well, I know that. At least I'll take your word for it if I look it up.
07:12But football's a pretty rough game.
07:14Well, I'm not afraid. I've got a pretty good muscle.
07:16Here, feel my muscle.
07:20Well, yeah, that's pretty good, all right.
07:22But see, it's just not really a girls' game.
07:25Girls are usually cheerleaders or baton twirlers.
07:29Oh, Harriet, I was talking about the football with Janey.
07:33I was talking about the football with Janey here. She's on the team.
07:36Well, good. Are you the cheerleader?
07:38No, no, no. She's the quarterback.
07:40She is? Well, that's wonderful, Jane.
07:44No, no, Harriet.
07:45You think it is?
07:46Well, yes, but I mean, it's just that football is a man's game.
07:50Well, is there anything in the rulebook that says a girl can't play?
07:53Well, no.
07:54Well, what's your problem?
07:56Janey, why don't you go outside with the rest of the fellas?
08:00The rest of the team.
08:02Okay. Will you come and see us play sometime?
08:04Sure, we'd love to.
08:05Sure.
08:06Thank you for the cookies and the milk.
08:08You're welcome.
08:10Harriet, what are you trying to do?
08:12Well, nothing.
08:13Well, I was trying to talk her out of being on the team.
08:16But don't the boys want her to play?
08:18Well, yeah, but she's such a little girl and they play so rough, she's liable to get hurt.
08:23After all, she stays responsibility.
08:26Yes, I guess you're right. What does David say about it?
08:29Well, he asked me to help him out.
08:32What are you going to do?
08:34Well, I thought I'd ask you to have a little talk with her.
08:38Why me?
08:39Well, you know, approach it from the woman's angle.
08:42Just explain to her that girls don't play football. It's not ladylike.
08:47Well, I'll try.
08:48Well, sure. See, you've got a lot of femininity.
08:55Jane!
08:56Jane!
09:00I'm going for a nap.
09:03Get way back there. Way back.
09:15Gee, that was a good pass, Mrs. Mills.
09:17Oh, thank you, Janie. Hey, listen, can I talk to you for a minute?
09:20Uh, Harriet, I, uh, I think maybe we'd better try a different approach.
09:29You mean a girl? Well, what's wrong with a girl?
09:32Nothing. I've got a date with one tonight, but she's never played football.
09:36I don't see anything wrong with it. A lot of girls are tomboys at that age.
09:40Well, being a tomboy is one thing, Harriet, but a girl just shouldn't play football. It's too rough.
09:46Yeah, I'd sure hate to see her get hurt.
09:48What would you do if you were me, Pop? I mean, suppose this happened at Lincoln High when you were coaching.
09:52What would you have done?
09:53Well, a thing like this couldn't happen in high school.
09:56Well, suppose it did. What would you do?
09:58Well, I think I'd just contact the girl's parents and have them tell her she can't play.
10:03Yeah, that's the best idea yet. I'll see if I've got her address here for you.
10:07Now, wait a minute. This isn't my job, Dave. You're the coach. It's your responsibility.
10:11Yeah, it's your responsibility, David.
10:13Yeah, I'm fully aware of that.
10:15Well, then why are you trying to get Pop to take over for you?
10:17Well, he gave me his old whistle, didn't he? I didn't think he was going to stop there.
10:21I'm afraid this is something you're just going to have to face yourself.
10:24Well, yeah, but the kid wants to play and the team wants her.
10:26How can I go to her parents and have them tell her she can't play?
10:29I mean, you're a parent. I think you could do it better.
10:31I think this whole thing can be solved very easily.
10:33Go ahead. I can hardly wait.
10:35Well, her name is Jane, isn't it?
10:36Yeah, that's right.
10:37Just have her change her name to Charlie.
10:45Well, hi, Coach.
10:46Hi, Janie. Is your mother home or your father?
10:48No, but my sister is.
10:50Oh, I did want to talk to your parents.
10:52Who is it, Jane?
10:53It's Coach Nelson.
10:54Oh, hello, Mr. Nelson. I'm Jane's sister, Betty.
10:57Oh, hi. I'm Dave Nelson.
10:59Won't you come in, Dave?
11:01Well, thank you. Well, I did want to talk to your parents.
11:04Oh, I'm sorry, but they're off for the evening. Maybe I can help.
11:07Won't you sit down?
11:08No, thank you.
11:09Well, why don't you come in, Dave?
11:10Well, thank you.
11:11Well, I did want to talk to your parents.
11:13Maybe I can help. Won't you sit down?
11:15Oh, thank you.
11:17They seem darn nice of you.
11:19What do you want to speak to them about?
11:20Who?
11:21My parents.
11:22Oh.
11:24Uh, well, I was...
11:27Uh, Jane, why don't you go upstairs and do your homework?
11:30I got a better idea. I'll go out in the back and do some wind sprints.
11:36Jane and her football.
11:38Well, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.
11:40You know, I'm the coach of the playground team.
11:42Yes, I know. Jane told us all about you. She thinks you're just wonderful.
11:46Oh, Jane's a good kid.
11:48She says you're the best passer she's ever seen.
11:51Oh, thank you. That's darn nice.
11:53I wanted to talk to your folks about Jane's playing football.
11:56Oh, really? Why, my father and I were just talking about it tonight.
11:59Oh? What do you think about it?
12:01We think it's just wonderful.
12:03Yeah, I know. That's...
12:06Oh, yes, we all do. And we really appreciate your being so understanding, too.
12:10Oh? In what way?
12:12Well, you know, most coaches wouldn't allow a girl on the team.
12:15I can remember all the trouble I had when I was Jane's age.
12:18What do you mean?
12:19Playing football.
12:20You played football?
12:22Yes. I played on the Boy Scouts team in the YMCA League.
12:25I was a fullback.
12:27My folks were afraid I'd grow up to be a tomboy.
12:30Well, obviously, they had nothing to worry about.
12:33Oh, well, thank you very much.
12:35Weren't they afraid you'd get hurt?
12:37Oh, I suppose so. But I never did.
12:40Except one time I got a black eye.
12:42But that was after the game.
12:44I got in a fight with one of the boys on the other team.
12:48Well, boys will be boys.
12:51Jane's a pretty good little player. You ought to see her throw passes.
12:54Oh, I know. She's a great passer.
12:56Thank you. I taught her.
12:58Oh, good for you.
13:00Oh, here I am boasting about my sister.
13:02I haven't even given you a chance to tell me what you came here to talk to us about.
13:06Oh, well, I just wanted to find out
13:08if you were worried about Jane's playing on the team.
13:10Some of the boys are pretty rough.
13:12Oh, that's very nice of you. But we think it's just great.
13:15And Mom and Dad will be out to see every game.
13:17Oh, good. That's the spirit.
13:19Well, I guess that answers my question.
13:21Well, it was very nice talking to you, Dave.
13:23Oh, thanks. It was nice talking to you, too.
13:25Thank you. I hope you'll stop by and see us again sometime.
13:27Oh, thanks. I'll do that.
13:29Good night.
13:36Fullback.
13:41Then he comes out and fakes this half back right through here.
13:44Now the end circles around. Looks like it's going to be an end around.
13:47Now, wait a minute. Does the quarterback still have the ball?
13:49Quarterback still has the ball.
13:51He fakes it to the end.
13:53Now then, the fullback comes right through here.
13:55The quarterback fakes the ball to the fullback. Pulls it back.
13:58Waits here for a count of one, two, three.
14:01Slowly circles around.
14:03Zip! Right up the middle.
14:06Better than the first play you showed me.
14:08This one should only lose you about ten yards.
14:10Are you kidding? God, this is a touchdown play.
14:13It is if the other team's taking time out.
14:15Look, these guys are just little fellas, aren't they?
14:18Well, what difference does that make?
14:20Well, this is a very complicated play.
14:22Not if you've got a good quarterback.
14:24What are you doing to my hat?
14:26Has Dave got a good quarterback?
14:29Well, he's in the process of changing quarterbacks.
14:33What's wrong with the one he has now?
14:35Nothing. The kid just isn't working out.
14:38What's the matter? Can't he handle the ball?
14:40Yeah, it's a good...
14:43They're extenuating circumstances.
14:45Demanding too much money?
14:47There's no question of money involved.
14:49Well, then why is he trying to get rid of his quarterback?
14:51Hi, Pom. Hi, Mr. Darby.
14:53Oh, hiya, Dave.
14:54Oh, hello, David.
14:55Your father's just been telling me about your team.
14:57Yeah, we got a pretty good bunch of kids there.
14:59Good. Only thing, though, I hear you've been having some trouble with your quarterback.
15:02Oh, no, no. Dave's got that all straightened out now.
15:05Haven't you, Dave?
15:06No, I'm afraid not, Pop.
15:07Looks like Jane's going to be in the starting lineup.
15:09Jane? What kind of a name is that?
15:13Names are an important darb.
15:15Oh, Dave, I've got a good play for you.
15:18The quarterback takes the ball from the center,
15:20and then she takes the hand off...
15:22She?
15:24Is she?
15:25Yes, you did.
15:26And David said, Jane, don't tell me you're a quarterback as a girl.
15:30Well, she's darn good, Darb.
15:33Yeah, Pop's right. She's darn good, Mr. Darby.
15:35Ozzie, Nelson, I'm surprised at you.
15:37Didn't you tell me you used to be a coach at Lincoln High?
15:39Well, yes.
15:40Well, then it seems to me the least you could do is teach your son that girls do not play football.
15:44Well, there's nothing in the rule book says they can't.
15:46Did you ever play against any?
15:48Well, no.
15:49All right. There are some rules that are not written into the book.
15:52David couldn't help himself.
15:54By the time he found out she was a girl, she'd already made the team.
15:57If she hadn't taken off her helmet, I still wouldn't know.
16:01Well, I've got to be running along.
16:03I'll be out to watch your team, Dave.
16:05Oh, thank you.
16:06You know, this should be very interesting.
16:08This is probably the first time in football history
16:11that a water boy will run out on the field with two buckets.
16:14One marked his and one marked hers.
16:20What a character.
16:22Did you get to talk to Janie's parents, Dave?
16:25Uh, no, they weren't home, but I spoke to her sister.
16:27Oh, what position did she play?
16:30You think you're kidding, but she used to play fullback.
16:32You ought to see her.
16:33Did I hear you say a girl played fullback?
16:35Yeah, Janie's sister.
16:36If you saw her, you'd never believe it.
16:38What do her fans think about all this?
16:40Well, if you ask me, I think they gave Janie the football.
16:44Oh, darn this situation.
16:46You want your whistle back, Pop?
16:49No, thanks.
16:50Dave, do you really want Janie off the team?
16:52Well, I do and I don't.
16:54I don't want to hurt her feelings,
16:56but I don't want the responsibility of anything happening to her.
16:58Then I think you better let me handle this.
17:00What are you going to do?
17:02I'm going to solve a woman's problem in a woman's way.
17:05What do you mean, Harriet?
17:06You'll find out.
17:25WHISTLE BLOWS
17:36Okay, now let's try that pass play from the short pump formation.
17:39Okay, ready? Go.
17:42Now, the left hand goes down about five yards and cuts to the right.
17:46Hi, Dave.
17:47Oh, hi.
17:48Excuse me, fellas. Go right ahead.
17:52How's it going?
17:53Oh, fine. We're just about finished.
17:54Still concerned about Jane?
17:56No, no, not since I met you.
17:57Okay, let's try it again, fellas.
17:59Oh, we might as well call off the practice,
18:01but the coach isn't going to pay any attention to us.
18:03How do you know?
18:04He's right. My brother does the same thing.
18:08I don't know why he wants to talk to my sister.
18:10Because she's a girl, that's why.
18:13I'm a girl.
18:14You're not a girl. You're a quarterback.
18:16Now, come on and call signals.
18:19I think I'll call for timeout.
18:20Hey, coach, can we have timeout?
18:22Yeah. In fact, I think you probably had enough for today anyway.
18:25Everybody to the showers.
18:28As that is, I mean everybody except you, Janey.
18:30You better run along home.
18:36Hi, Dave.
18:37Hi, Pop.
18:38How'd practice go?
18:39Oh, just fine. The team's really shaping up.
18:41You kept the boys kind of late, didn't you?
18:43No, actually, we knocked off a little early.
18:45I just stopped by at the malt shop for a while.
18:47Hi, dear.
18:48Hi, Mom.
18:49Anything interesting happen at practice today?
18:50No.
18:51Didn't Betty show up?
18:53Well, yeah. How'd you know?
18:55Oh, just a wild guess. And a phone call.
18:59I thought she happened to show up.
19:00For a minute there, I thought she came down to see me.
19:02Oh, she did. She didn't need much encouragement.
19:05What's this all about?
19:06Oh, David asked me to help him solve his problem, so I helped him.
19:09Yeah, I still have the problem, though.
19:11Janey's still on the team.
19:12She is?
19:13Yeah.
19:14Well, I guess I don't know girls as well as I thought I did.
19:17Well, evidently, neither do I.
19:19I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.
19:21Well, if you were a girl and you were playing football,
19:23and you saw the coach leave the field to talk to a beautiful girl,
19:26what would your reaction be?
19:29That, uh...
19:30That the coach was a goof?
19:32Uh...
19:34I give up.
19:36That's what I thought she'd do.
19:38Oh!
19:39I guess I was wrong.
19:41I'll get the door.
19:44Hi, Coach.
19:45Well, hi, Janey. Come on in.
19:47You've met my mother and father, haven't you?
19:49Oh, sure. Hello.
19:50Hi, Janey.
19:51Hi.
19:52How's our star quarterback?
19:53Well, to tell you the truth, I've been thinking about that.
19:56I guess it isn't very ladylike to play football, is it?
20:00What's this?
20:01Don't look now, but I think they just scored a touchdown.
20:03You mean you're giving up football?
20:04Well, I hope you don't mind.
20:06The boys just don't seem to pay attention to girls who play football.
20:10No, you might have a point there.
20:12So I think I'd rather be a girl that boys pay attention to.
20:16Well, I think you've made a wise decision.
20:18Then as long as I'm not on the team anymore,
20:20can I go down to the mall shop if a boy invites me?
20:23Well, all right. I think I could take a hint.
20:25What boy did you have in mind?
20:27Both are halfbacks and a fullback.
20:29They're right outside.
20:30I'll invite them in.
20:32Hi, fellas. Come on in.
20:33Hi, folks.
20:34Hey, Coach.
20:35Is it okay if we break train just this once, Coach?
20:37Yeah, I think it'll be all right just this once.
20:39Yeah, I thought there were only two halfbacks and a fullback.
20:41I came along, too, just for the ride.
20:45Hey, as long as you fellas are getting mauls,
20:47you might as well get extra thick ones.
20:50That's all right, fellas. Have a good time.
20:52Thanks again, Coach. Come on, Stan.
20:54Thanks, Coach.
20:55You're welcome.
20:56Bye.
20:57Bye-bye.
21:00Well, that's the end of your problem.
21:02Yeah, that's the end of one of them and the beginning of a new one.
21:04Can I be of any help?
21:06I think this is a problem for the old coach.
21:08Oh, really? What is it?
21:10How do I get their minds back on football?
21:14This is where I came in.
21:19Well, it just about does it.
21:21Worked out pretty well at that, didn't it?
21:23Of course, complications with athletics are nothing new to us Nelsons.
21:27I can remember a few without even trying.
21:29Do you remember Dave and Rick when they were about this size?
21:33He's so conceited, David.
21:35Conceited? Who's conceited?
21:37You are.
21:38I am not.
21:39Say, Will Farmberry doesn't stand a chance against you.
21:42So what? Does that make me conceited?
21:44Well, what else do you call it?
21:45You wouldn't understand, half-pint.
21:47Oh, yeah?
21:55Come on, David. Stop being such a coward.
21:57What are you talking about?
21:58Let me hit you once in a while.
22:00What, do you think I'm crazy or something?
22:01You're supposed to be my sparring partner, aren't you?
22:03So what?
22:04The sparring partner's supposed to let the other guy hit him.
22:07That's what a sparring partner's for.
22:08You're thinking of a punching bag.
22:10Come on, David. Let me just hit you one good sock on the chin.
22:13I will not.
22:14What a chicken.
22:16Let me hit you in the stomach.
22:17Come on, you want a boxer, don't you?
22:19All I'm doing is blocking. I promised I wouldn't hit you.
22:22What more do you want?
22:23Just one short jab on the nose.
22:25I promise I won't draw blood.
22:27The answer is no, and that's final.
22:39Come on, David.
22:40Here, David, throw me along.
23:10All right.
23:17Nice catch.
23:18Give me a long one.
23:20You go down alongside the house and I'll throw you a button.
23:25Don't you think we ought to call it quits now, fellas?
23:28I said it's over doing it.
23:31I'll see you later, fellas.
23:33Okay, enough now.
23:34See you later.
23:42Okay, who's the wise guy?
24:33You're the wise guy.