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00:00The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring the entire Nelson family.
00:05Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.
00:08And of course, his lovely wife Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.
00:12The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.
00:16And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky, played by Ricky Nelson.
00:20The Nelson's next door neighbor, Thorny, is played by Dom DeFore.
00:25Say, I hate to bring up an unpleasant subject, but tomorrow's the deadline on your income tax.
00:31Well, I always manage to sneak in under the wire, don't I?
00:34I don't know why you always let it go until the very last night.
00:37Oh, now, how can you say that?
00:39You know darn well I've been up working hard the last three nights.
00:42How can you stay up that late, Pop?
00:44Well, when you have something important to do, you just concentrate real hard and you stay awake.
00:49Whenever I get to stay up that late, I always fall asleep.
00:52Well, if I know your father, he spent most of his time reading magazines,
00:55and he'll be up all night tonight with his income tax.
00:57Don't be so sure. I may fool you this time.
01:00He said that last year, and he didn't get to bed until 5 o'clock in the morning.
01:03Can I stay up with Pop tonight, Mom?
01:05Oh, you certainly cannot.
01:07Don't be ridiculous, Ricky.
01:08I think it'll be fun.
01:10No, I'm afraid figuring your income tax hardly comes under the classification of fun.
01:14Besides, your father will have enough on his mind without having to worry about you.
01:18Yeah, we don't want anything to happen to you guys.
01:21Hey, that's right. We're deductible, huh, Pop?
01:24Yes, David. The government allows us $600 a year for each of you boys.
01:28That pays for your shoes.
01:31I'm glad I don't have to pay the income tax, boy.
01:34You will someday.
01:36The principal of our school says every man should pay an income tax.
01:39Well, I think just about every man does nowadays.
01:42Yeah, but he ought to pay it for his wife, too.
01:44Women work hard all day.
01:46They have a thankless job and slave over a hot stove at night.
01:49Who says all this?
01:51Our principal, Mrs. Benson.
01:54She had me wondering there for a minute.
01:57Gee, look at the time. I'd better hurry up.
01:59Where are you going, David?
02:01Over to Bob Swanson's.
02:03What are you guys cooking up today?
02:05Nothing special.
02:06What do you guys usually cook up?
02:08Oh, these guys' garage is set up like a chemistry lab.
02:11Oh, say, I hope you're not concocting anything dangerous.
02:14Oh, nothing dangerous.
02:16Bob gets some good ideas, though.
02:18You ought to meet him, Pop. He's a real crazy man.
02:21Yeah, he sure is.
02:23Only he's crazy the way it means in the dictionary.
02:26I've met him, and he seems like a very nice boy.
02:29Oh, he is. He's just kind of a practical joker.
02:32He's a nice guy, though.
02:34Well, there's nothing wrong with practical jokes.
02:36In fact, a person with a good sense of humor is a welcome addition to any group.
02:40Sure, look at me.
02:41What about you?
02:43I'm a real joker, boy.
02:45Well, I must admit, there are times when you're quite a card.
02:48You can say that again.
02:50What are you laughing at, David?
02:51You're from the same deck, you know.
02:55Come on, you guys. Somebody help me clear the table.
02:57I'll help you, Mom.
02:59Oh, will somebody get the telephone?
03:01Here, I'll get it, Harry. Not expecting a call.
03:05Come on, Rick. You can help, too.
03:07Big man pushes little people around.
03:11Hello?
03:12Hello there, Oz. This is Herb Dunkle.
03:15Oh, hi. Just a second, Duncan.
03:20Just wanted to make sure Harriet was in the other room.
03:23Well, I've got all the figures. I'll bring them over to your office.
03:26I may be out for a spell this afternoon, so just put them on my desk.
03:32I'll get at them as soon as I return.
03:34And remember, don't mention this to anybody, will you?
03:37I don't want to get back to Harriet.
03:39Oh, you can count on me, Oz, old boy. Mom's the word.
03:46Mom's the word. So long, Duncan.
03:48What about Mom?
03:50Oh, Ricky. You don't want to sneak up on a person like that, son.
03:54Well, I was here all the time, Pop.
03:56Oh. Well, in the first place, the word wasn't Mom. It was Mum.
04:01See, I have a little surprise for your Mum.
04:04Uh, your Mom.
04:06What kind of a surprise?
04:08Well, remember now, this is a secret just between you and me.
04:12What about Mr. Dunkel?
04:14Well, yes, uh, Mr. Dunkel has to know about it, too.
04:18You see, he's going to make out my income tax for me this year.
04:22That is, I've gathered together all the material and all the information and all the figures and all.
04:28But he's going to make out the actual forms and stuff.
04:31Well, how come?
04:33Well, you see, he's an accountant. He knows all about that kind of thing.
04:36How come you're not going to tell Mom about it?
04:38Oh, well, I'm going to tell her later on.
04:42But, you see, this is sort of a little practical joke on her.
04:45She thinks that I have to stay up late tonight and make out my income tax.
04:50I don't get it.
04:52Well, it's not a big hilarious routine, but I think she'll be kind of amused by it.
05:00It's a little practical joke, you might say.
05:03Oh, stealing my stuff, huh, Pop?
05:05Well, sure. I just want to prove you're not the only card in the pack.
05:13Okay, Pop, but just remember one thing.
05:16There's only one joke in every deck.
05:19Oh, Marvelous.
05:26Come in.
05:28Hello, Mrs. Elson.
05:30Oh, hello, Mr. Miller.
05:31I thought you'd put that box right on the table here.
05:33All right.
05:34Don't you care to check over the list?
05:36Oh, no, I'm sure everything's there.
05:37All right.
05:38Say, I took the liberty of adding an extra pound of coffee.
05:41It's my own special blend for income tax eve.
05:43I figured it'd come in mighty handy for Mr. Nelson to keep him awake tonight.
05:46Oh, what sort of a blend is it?
05:48Well, it's 100% pure caffeine with all the coffee removed.
05:53That's sort of a private little joke.
05:55Well, I'm afraid it's what Mr. Nelson will need, though.
05:58How about you? You got your tax returns ready to mail?
06:01Oh, goodness, no, Mrs. Nelson.
06:02That's a laugh.
06:04I guess all you fellas are just alike.
06:06Well, according to my wife, I'm the worst of the bunch.
06:08She says I'm the procrastinateness procrastinator that ever procrastinated.
06:12Well, Mr. Nelson does the same thing every year.
06:15No matter how many times he resolves to get them in early,
06:18somehow he always manages to get them in just under the wire.
06:21Well, I'll tell you what I did.
06:23A couple of nights ago, I got together the tax papers,
06:25I sharpened the pencils, got out the scratch pad,
06:27cleared off the desk, pulled up my chair,
06:29turned on my television set,
06:31and it looks like a long night tonight.
06:35That sounds exactly like our house.
06:37Well, actually, all you need is one evening of good concentration,
06:40but I just can't seem to concentrate.
06:42Well, it would probably help if you turned off the television set.
06:45Well, yes, but frankly, I think it would help a little more
06:48if I could turn off Mrs. Miller.
06:51Not that she isn't a real fine woman, mind you,
06:53but it's just that it's hard to get the work accomplished
06:56when she's standing over you.
06:58You see, she used to be a schoolteacher,
07:00and every time I look up at her and she looks down at me,
07:03I get the feeling like I'm a little boy
07:05who hasn't finished his homework yet.
07:07Not that she isn't a real fine woman, like I say,
07:10but I could get the work done a lot easier
07:12if she would just kind of get out of the house
07:15and go to a show tonight or something.
07:18Say, Mr. Miller, you've given me an idea.
07:21Oh, really?
07:22Well, you know, it's no fun for the wives to sit around
07:24listening to you fellows moan about making out your income tax.
07:27Maybe I could get a gang of the wives tonight
07:29and we could go over to the women's club and play cards or something.
07:32Say, that's a mighty fine idea.
07:34And say, Mrs. Nelson, just in case you should need a fourth,
07:38may I suggest Mrs. Miller?
07:40Like I say, she's a mighty fine woman.
07:58I guess Mr. Dahl goes out to lunch.
08:04Yeah, he returns right here.
08:28Ricky, don't mess around with that filing cabinet.
08:30Mr. Dunkel's got a lot of personal stuff in there, probably.
08:57Mr. Dunkel's.
09:04Neat desk, boy.
09:06Yeah.
09:09You don't disturb anything there now.
09:11How can I? It's all locked up.
09:14Well, he probably knew I was bringing you along.
09:16How'd he know that?
09:18I don't know.
09:28Here.
09:42It's me, Pop. I'm Big Business Man.
09:45Ricky, take the cigar out of your mouth, will you, please?
09:48It's still got the paper on it.
09:50All right, well, put it back in the box and take your feet off the desk.
09:58Tax and biological payments, item six.
10:02Enter balance.
10:04Sure, boy.
10:21Look at me, Pop. No hands!
10:27Ricky!
10:29Come on, cut that out. You want to fall out the window?
10:32Look, why don't you sit over in this chair here?
10:35Just relax, will you? I'll be through in just a minute.
10:47I didn't know Mr. Dunkel had a safe.
10:49Yeah.
10:50I wonder what they keep in it.
10:52Oh, probably valuable papers or bonds.
10:55Might even have some money in there.
10:57Did you ever see those burglars in the movies?
10:59The way they open it?
11:00You just turn this little dial and the thing swings right open.
11:03Let's see.
11:04Let's see if it's attached to this phone.
11:08You think you could open it, Pop?
11:10No, I'm afraid opening safes is a little out of my line.
11:13Leave it alone now.
11:15I was just looking at it.
11:17I bet you could if you tried.
11:19Well, I'm not going to try.
11:21You want me to try?
11:24No, thanks. That won't be necessary.
11:27Oh, come on, son.
11:28Hey, Pop?
11:29About how old would you say this safe is?
11:32Oh, I don't know. It's a pretty old one.
11:35Very well built, though.
11:37It sure looks heavy.
11:38I bet your safe cracker would have to blast this one open.
11:41Oh, not necessarily, Ricky.
11:43Those guys really know their business.
11:45I don't think they'd have much trouble opening this.
11:47Well, how'd they do it?
11:48They'd do it with sandpaper.
11:50Wouldn't that take an awful lot of time?
11:54What I mean is, see, they sandpaper the tips of their fingers.
11:57That makes them very, very sensitive.
12:00Then they just turn the dials,
12:02and they listen carefully as the tumblers fall in place.
12:05Well, what do you mean?
12:06Well, look, I'll show you.
12:08You see?
12:09See these little numbers?
12:11See, each one has a combination, as you probably know.
12:14Now they just move it back.
12:16They sandpaper the fingers, of course.
12:18And then just turn it and turn it and listen very carefully.
12:24I think it'd be more fun to put a stick of dynamite
12:26and blow the door open.
12:28Oh, no.
12:29The cops would be on us in no time.
12:31It's better just to turn it gradually,
12:34one way and then the other,
12:36listening very carefully for the tumblers.
12:39You sure know a lot about safe cracking, Pop.
12:42Oh, not necessarily.
12:45Hey.
12:47Did you hear something?
12:49Oh, what, Pop?
12:51I think I heard a little click, then,
12:53as if the tumblers fell into place.
12:57What was that?
12:58I didn't hear anything.
13:00Didn't you? It sounded like a little click to me.
13:02Well, the safe didn't open.
13:04Well, I know. The safe doesn't open until you pull the handle.
13:07Hey!
13:08Pop, you did it!
13:10How about that?
13:11How'd you do it, Pop?
13:13Oh, your old man is a guy of many talents.
13:17I've got to find another place to hide my money, boy.
13:19Yeah, I don't blame you.
13:21Boy, I'm a regular Jimmy Valentine.
13:23I sure wish I could open a safe like that, boy.
13:27See, I just happened to think of a wonderful idea.
13:29What's that, Pop?
13:31Well, here's a little joke we could play on Mr. Dunkle
13:34to really mystify him.
13:35See, as long as I've got the safe open now,
13:37why don't I put my tax papers in there
13:39and then lock it up again
13:41and let him figure out how I got it open in the first place.
13:43It's a lucky thing you're a good safe cracker.
13:46Ricky, I'm not a safe cracker at all.
13:49The safe just accidentally came open.
13:51I don't know.
13:52You sure look like you knew what you were doing.
13:55Well, believe me, I didn't.
13:59Boy, old Dunkle's gonna get a kick out of this.
14:02I hope so.
14:03Oh, sure.
14:04People enjoy having little practical jokes played on them,
14:07especially if they have a sense of humor.
14:09Do you enjoy having little jokes pulled on you?
14:11Sure I do, if they're really funny.
14:15Boy, old Dunkle's really gonna be mystified.
14:18Hey, here's Mr. Thornberry's tax return, too.
14:22I guess old Thornberry's been playing it smart this year.
14:24Why don't you put him in the safe with yours?
14:26Yeah, I think I will.
14:28That's a good idea.
14:39Now I'll leave a little note for Mr. Dunkle.
14:41See what would be a funny thing to say.
14:44You sure are full of jokes today, Pop.
14:46Well, a little practical joke never hurt anybody.
14:50If you're looking for Barney's tax papers or mine,
15:02they're locked in a safe place.
15:09Your safe.
15:14How do you like that?
15:16Yeah, that's good.
15:17Hey, what are you doing down there?
15:19Oh, nothing much.
15:21Well, come on, let's go, son.
15:22Oh, wait a minute.
15:23You better make sure the safe is locked.
15:25Well, I locked it before, don't you remember?
15:27You better try it again.
15:28No, don't be so...
15:32I'm glad you're shoelaced together.
15:34Wasn't that funny?
15:36Yeah, yeah, very funny.
15:38You just can't hear me laughing
15:39with my head in this wastebasket.
15:48Auntie?
15:49Oh, it's me, Mom.
15:50Oh, hello, dear.
15:51Hi.
15:52Do you know where your father is?
15:54I think he went someplace with Ricky.
15:56Oh.
15:57Why, what's the matter?
15:58Oh, nothing's the matter.
15:59I was just talking to some of the wives a while ago,
16:01and we decided that since the men will be working
16:03on their income tax reports tonight,
16:05that we might have a little get-together
16:06down at the women's club.
16:07Oh, good.
16:08That fits in swell.
16:09Why, dear, did you make some plans?
16:11Yes, ma'am.
16:12Can I spend the night over at Bob Swanson's?
16:14Have you been invited?
16:15Yes, ma'am.
16:16Ricky, too.
16:17Well, sure, that's fine.
16:18Go ahead.
16:19There's gonna be five of us.
16:20Bob, Ricky, me, Will Thornberry, and Georgie Dunkle.
16:23Is there enough room for five of you fellas?
16:25Oh, sure.
16:26Bob's got a pretty big bed.
16:28It certainly isn't big enough to sleep five of you.
16:31Oh, no.
16:32Two of the guys can sleep in the bed,
16:33and the other guys can sleep on the floor.
16:35We can bring our sleeping bags.
16:37You sure this is all right now?
16:39Who invited all you fellas?
16:41Bob did.
16:42Yeah, I thought so.
16:43Does Mrs. Swanson know about this?
16:45Oh, sure.
16:46I asked her, and she said it was swell.
16:49Well, if you're sure.
16:50Oh, sure.
16:51I wouldn't leave it up to Bob.
16:53You know him and his jokes.
16:54He'd probably wind up sleeping on the front lawn.
16:57Well, OK.
16:58That'll give your father the house all to himself.
17:00Just poor old dad and the income tax papers.
17:03Doesn't that stuff have to be in the mail by tomorrow?
17:05That's right.
17:06It's usually a photo finish, but he always seems to make it.
17:09I've got everything all set up for him.
17:11Plenty of paper and sharp pencils.
17:13I've hidden the magazines, disconnected the radio,
17:15and turned the television set to the wall.
17:19Well, glad to be meeting you here.
17:21We were just talking about you.
17:22Where have you two been?
17:23Oh, just around downtown.
17:27Around downtown?
17:29Well, looks as if it might have been a rough voyage.
17:34Well, uh...
17:35Could be.
17:37Could be.
17:38What were you doing downtown?
17:40Oh, uh, nothing much, really.
17:44Just a little safe cracking, that's all.
17:49Just a little private joke.
17:50Don't let it worry you, dear.
17:55Tell them about tonight, Mom.
17:57Oh, yes.
17:58I've got some good news for you.
17:59You have the house all to yourself tonight.
18:01Oh, how come?
18:02My boys have been invited over to Bob Swanson's.
18:05Since when?
18:06He invited us this afternoon.
18:07You too, Rick.
18:09Are you going out tonight too, Harriet?
18:11Well, yes.
18:12I thought I'd go over to the women's club and play some bridge,
18:14and that'll give you a chance to work on your taxes without any interruption.
18:17Well, this may come as quite a shock,
18:19but I finished all my work on my taxes.
18:21Oh, you're kidding.
18:22No.
18:23But Dunkle's gonna finish it up for me.
18:25Oh, say, that reminds me.
18:26He phoned you while you were out,
18:28and he wanted you to call him just as soon as you came in.
18:30Oh, yeah.
18:32I was kind of expecting he'd call.
18:34He seemed rather upset about something.
18:36I think mystified would be a more appropriate word.
18:41Well, I wonder why he wasn't laughing.
18:43Well, he'll laugh as soon as he catches on to the joke.
18:47What joke?
18:49Well, you see, Dunkle has this big old safe in his office,
18:54so I was sort of showing Ricky how a safe is opened.
18:58You know, I was just fooling around with the dials a little bit,
19:01and all of a sudden, the darn thing popped right open.
19:03I'm sure wouldn't make a good burglar, boy.
19:07Sounds like one already.
19:10No, it was an accident on it.
19:12Where does the joke come in?
19:14Well, you see, Thorny had his tax papers over there, too.
19:18So after I'd accidentally opened the safe,
19:20I thought it'd be kind of funny.
19:22I took my tax papers, and I took Thorny's,
19:24and I put them in the safe,
19:26and I closed the safe and locked it again.
19:28And now poor old Dunkle can't figure out how I got it open.
19:33You think that's kind of a funny joke?
19:36Oh, yes.
19:38Is that a police car stopping in front of our house?
19:40Where?
19:43No, I'm only kidding.
19:45Oh!
19:47I'm a little worried there for a minute.
19:49Say, I'd better call some of the wives and tell them I can't make it.
19:52Oh, no, no. I don't want you to do that.
19:55Well, I wouldn't want to leave you home alone.
19:57That's okay. I don't want to spoil your fun.
20:00You aren't spoiling our fun, dear. I can play bridge any night.
20:03Where are you going?
20:05Just out to get dinner started.
20:06Oh.
20:08I think I'll go phone old Dunkle and clear up the mystery for him.
20:16Oz, have you talked to Dunkle yet?
20:19No, I was just about to phone him.
20:21I worked three nights on those tax papers, Oz.
20:23Three long, hard nights.
20:25Don't get excited, Thorny.
20:27They're okay.
20:28Didn't Dunkle get my note?
20:30Yeah, sure he got your note.
20:31That's the reason he's so worried.
20:34He's worried because he can't figure out how I got his safe open.
20:38He knows how you got it open, Oz.
20:40It was never locked.
20:42It was never locked?
20:44That's right, but it is now.
20:46Now Dunkle's worried about how he's going to get it open.
20:48Now, wait a minute.
20:50You mean to say the man doesn't even know the combination of his own safe?
20:54Oz, the safe was already there when Dunkle moved into the office.
20:57It's never been locked because he never uses it.
20:59And he never uses it because he doesn't know the combination.
21:03You mean to say that my tax papers are locked in that safe and nobody knows the combination?
21:08My tax papers are locked in there, too.
21:10It's a neat joke on Mr. Thornberry, huh, Pop?
21:14Richie, please. This is serious.
21:16I thought it was a joke.
21:18Yes, it started out to be, but it's suddenly taken a very dramatic turn.
21:22Oz, I want my tax papers.
21:25Thorny, just calm down for a minute.
21:28Three nights I worked on them, Oz.
21:30Three long, hard nights.
21:32I'll never be able to remember some of those deductions.
21:36Yes, I went through the same thing myself.
21:39I want my tax papers, Oz.
21:41Thorny, please. Don't get hysterical.
21:44Sure there must be something can do.
21:47Fine. What do you have in mind?
21:50Well...
21:53I'm waiting.
21:57Say they can't get the safe open.
21:59That's right.
22:01And they call the safe company and they're closed for the weekend.
22:06Think this over for a second.
22:09You say they definitely...
22:11Can't get the safe open.
22:17Any more bright ideas?
22:22Who did the safe belong to?
22:24I'm sure they still have the...
22:25We don't know.
22:27Don't know.
22:28No.
22:32How about the company that manufactured the safe in the first place?
22:35They'd have the...
22:36We went out of business in 1912.
22:381912.
22:39Yes.
22:42Papers are locked in the safe.
22:45Nobody knows the combination.
22:48So, therefore, can't get the safe open.
22:51That's our problem, right?
22:52And it's a butte, too.
22:57Well?
22:59Harriet!
23:01Before you go out, will you put a pot of coffee on?
23:04Looks like it's going to be one of those long, long hard nights.
23:12THE END
23:23Want another cup of coffee, Tony?
23:25No, thanks.
23:26Already had four cups.
23:28Well, we'll probably be finished with this stuff in about an hour or two.
23:32Yeah, probably.
23:36Well, cheer up.
23:38You had nothing better to do tonight anyway.
23:40Nothing except catch up on my sleep.
23:42No, you can't kid me.
23:44Thorny, you know darn well you'd miss the excitement of this last-minute rush.
23:48Besides, everybody else is figuring out his tax return tonight.
23:51Oh, please.
23:52I'm trying to add up these figures.
23:54Oh, hello, Doc.
23:55Oh, good evening.
23:56Is Horne home?
23:57Yes, he is.
23:58Go right to the dining room.
23:59Come on in, Doc.
24:00We're right in there in the dining room.
24:02All right, Doc.
24:03Hello there, Thorny.
24:04Hello, Horne.
24:05Hi.
24:06You don't tell me you managed to lock the safe.
24:08No, I'm afraid not.
24:09David called me, though.
24:11David?
24:12Yes, it seems a friend of his has a chemistry set.
24:14Oh, yes, Bob Swanson.
24:17What did David phone about?
24:18It seems they've been doing some experimenting,
24:20and they volunteered to blow the safe open for me.
24:25I hope you turned him down.
24:26Oh, yes, indeed.
24:28But I think I have a solution.
24:30It may be rather expensive, though.
24:32Oh, let's hear it.
24:33Yeah.
24:34Well, the law says your returns have to be in the mails
24:37by March 15th.
24:38Yes, that's right.
24:39Well, my idea is to get your returns in
24:41and let the tax department worry about the rest.
24:44What do you mean?
24:45Simple.
24:46We just mail them the safe.
24:49Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully.
24:52Bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:02Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:32Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:35Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:38Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:41Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:44Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:47Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:50Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:53Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:56Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.
25:59Oh, bully, bully, bully, bully, bully.