Taskmaster AU S04E06
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00:00That's a shocking start!
00:04Stop!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:20Stop!
00:22No!
00:24I'll take it.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:40Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:42I won't mince my words when I say,
00:44I'm Tom Gleeson and I'm the host.
00:46Now I will mince them.
00:48This is a delightful season of frivolities,
00:50made ever so rich with gleeful performances
00:52by an enigmatic ensemble of entertainers
00:54before me.
00:56They are the dynamic Dave Hughes.
00:58The electric Emma Holland.
01:00The lyrical Lisa McHugh.
01:04The winsome Mwaka.
01:06And the tenacious Tommy Little.
01:08Now I won't mince them.
01:12Tom Cashman is also here.
01:14Now I will mince them.
01:16Are you well, Cashman?
01:18I'm not well.
01:20What's wrong little buddy?
01:22I remembered something very frustrating.
01:24I remembered I forgot to take my left leg out of a Hokey Pokey in 2006.
01:30I sorted it out though.
01:36You put your left leg in.
01:38You put your left leg in.
01:40Oh yeah.
01:42Yeah.
01:43You meant to take your left leg out.
01:44Oh.
01:45But why don't you shake it all about Boris?
01:47And that, Fusey, that's what it's all about.
02:01Alright, let's dive into the prize task.
02:08Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the thing
02:13that most makes the taskmaster reminisce about the good old days.
02:17Oh, okay.
02:18Let's have a look.
02:19Lisa, what do you think I reminisce about?
02:21Well, I was hoping that a pair of roller skates might be something that you would find
02:27enjoyable and wondered whether you would ever put a pair back on or if you've ever had
02:32any on at all.
02:33My older sisters did.
02:34Oh, okay.
02:35We're talking back in the 80s.
02:36Yes.
02:37But we lived on a farm.
02:38It's pretty hard to roller skate in a gravel driveway.
02:40Oh, okay.
02:41So it's actually quite a depressing memory for me.
02:44I'm sorry.
02:45Watching both my sisters on Christmas Day trying to roller skate on a gravel driveway.
02:50I'm terribly sorry about that.
02:52Actually, you've made me reminisce about their misery.
02:55It's actually quite good.
02:57Thanks for that.
03:00Alright, Emma, what do you have?
03:02I've brought in donepazil, rivastigmine and galantamine.
03:06It's the combination of drugs that's most beneficial for early to middle stage dementia.
03:18But, you know, I thought they could, you know, help you keep your memory, you know,
03:21so you can reminisce.
03:22Oh, so I might need it in the future because I don't have dementia now.
03:25But if you start taking these now, you can prevent that.
03:27Yeah.
03:28And then in ten years you can reminisce about the good old days.
03:30Okay.
03:31I feel like I lost my mind during that.
03:32But anyway.
03:34Dave.
03:35This is, you're genuinely going to love this and I'm really excited for you to see this.
03:40And, yeah, so, um, have a look.
03:43Donkey Kong 2, man!
03:46Oh, yeah.
03:47You know what?
03:48You've made me think back to those beautiful days in the 80s.
03:53It was around Christmas.
03:54Yes.
03:55Yes.
03:56My brother got Donkey Kong for Christmas.
03:57Yeah.
03:58But he let me play it while I watched my sisters disappointedly trying to roller skate on a gravel
04:04driveway.
04:05Okay.
04:06Okay.
04:07I feel like I'm throbbing with nostalgia looking at that.
04:09All right.
04:10Waka, what did you bring?
04:11Yes.
04:12I bought a photo.
04:14I think a photo is the best things, you know, to memory all the time.
04:20And this is, I found your photo.
04:22That's me.
04:23And now we have a technology.
04:24AI.
04:25Some AI make photo moving.
04:28Yeah.
04:39Wow.
04:40I try.
04:41You know, that was back when I was in uni then and in that band playing drums.
04:46And, you know, I did a lot of drugs.
04:48So it's how I remember it.
04:50It's how I remember it.
04:52Tell me, what do you think I would reminisce about?
04:55Ever since I've started in comedy, comedians that are older than me have referred to the
04:59good old days.
05:00And the thing they miss most from the good old days is cold hard cash.
05:05I always hear stories of getting paid in handshakes.
05:08Yeah.
05:09And things like that.
05:10I heard you guys talk in the corridor before, you said you had one year where you only cleared
05:14$4,000 with the tax office and you were driving in a new club sport, Tom.
05:19So...
05:20Yeah, absolutely.
05:21It was the good old days being paid in cash.
05:23Yes.
05:24I used to always like it.
05:25I don't get it.
05:26If you paid cash, you still have to lodge the same amount with the ATO.
05:28You...
05:29Yep.
05:33Yep.
05:34Alright.
05:35I'm going to have to give Emma one.
05:37OK.
05:38Because it sort of depressed me a little bit thinking about dementia.
05:40I'm going to give two points to Waka because even though it made me reminisce, it sort of
05:44made me think about my old ways.
05:46I'm going to give Lisa three points for the roller skates because it did remind me of a lovely
05:51time in my life when I saw my sisters struggle.
05:54And I'm going to give four points to Dave for Donkey Kong.
05:57It's a great game.
05:58Great game.
05:59The cash.
06:00The good old days.
06:01He paid in cash.
06:02Five points for Tommy.
06:03Alright, it's time they start chasing the high scores proper.
06:06Yes but to score high in this one, they'll need to score low.
06:13Aww.
06:14You look adorable.
06:15Oh you look so debba.
06:16You look very cool.
06:19Very fancy.
06:21That's the word you use.
06:22Aww, you look adorable.
06:28Oh, you look so debba.
06:30You look very cool.
06:32Very fancy.
06:33That's the word you use.
06:34I feel like I'm underdressed for what is about to take place.
06:42If I have to hit something with a golf club, it's over for me.
06:46No.
06:47Play golf.
06:48I love golf.
06:50Official golf rules apply.
06:52Every time your ball is in motion...
06:54You must be talking aggressively to it.
06:56You have 12 minutes.
06:58Your time is starting now.
06:59Where's the hole?
07:00Hey! I can see the hole.
07:03Right, let's play golf.
07:07You piece of shit, keep going.
07:09That's actually the best golf shot I've ever done in my life,
07:11you piece of crap.
07:12Come on, let's keep going.
07:13I hate your circumference.
07:15Go, you little red bugger.
07:20Yeah, go in the hole, I hate you.
07:26Oh no.
07:27I was about to have a rest.
07:29I needed an icy cold brewski.
07:32Predict the other contestant's score.
07:34You have a total of 32 shots to allocate.
07:36Lower score compared to average score predicted by your peers' wins.
07:40Your time starts now.
07:42I reckon Dave would probably be a golfer, so I'm going to say he probably got it in seven.
07:47I have played golf with Husey.
07:49Is he good?
07:50No.
07:51I've played golf with Tommy and the only time he beat me on a hole was when he said let's bet on this hole.
07:56He was hustling me.
07:57I can't imagine Lisa McCune being bad at anything, so let's give her four shots.
08:02I reckon Tommy might have been quite good, so I'm just going to say four.
08:05Give Walker ten.
08:08Emma's going to be 14.
08:10I will be better than Emma.
08:12Do you want to say it to the camera?
08:14Emma?
08:15Emma?
08:16I think I'm better than you.
08:17And maybe bore in the water.
08:24So is that just a rather complicated way of describing golf handicaps?
08:28Well, handicaps are based on your actual ability.
08:30These handicaps that they all now have are based on what the others reckon their ability is going to be.
08:35Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to have another look at them playing,
08:39and we're going to see how close it was to the rest of the group's expectations.
08:43That's right.
08:44So Dave and Lisa, the average predicted score, 5.75 shots.
08:47Tommy's predicted score, 6.25 shots.
08:50Waka's was 10.5.
08:52And Emma's, 11.75.
08:55Okay, let's tee off, Lisa Tom.
08:57Call it the 2nd of August, 1990, because we're about to kick off the Gulf War.
09:03With Waka, Emma and Lisa.
09:06I have no idea, but I'm going to use this.
09:08I think one of these, like, that's a putter and that's a driver.
09:11Okay.
09:14That counts as a shot.
09:15Does it?
09:16Yep.
09:17No, I didn't even hit it.
09:18Official golf rules apply.
09:19You suck and I hate your outfit.
09:20The aggressive talking starts after abortion motion.
09:22I hate the outfit.
09:23I hate your little red outfit.
09:27Was that an attempt?
09:28Practice.
09:29Did you promise me?
09:30Yeah.
09:32That's another practice?
09:33It's practice.
09:35One shot.
09:38Go, you bugger!
09:41Go, go, go!
09:42No, go!
09:43Go straight!
09:45Oh, no.
09:46That counts as a shot.
09:51That counts as well.
09:55Where is it?
09:56Speak aggressively.
09:57Oh, you go, you bugger!
09:58Where have you gone?
09:59I forgot to speak aggressively because I didn't know where it went.
10:05Go, go!
10:06I try to be aggressive, but I don't have time to be aggressive.
10:09Do you want to practice?
10:10Yeah.
10:11No!
10:12You mustn't do that!
10:13You...
10:14I don't want to...
10:15I can't swear at a golf ball.
10:16Okay.
10:17Small and yucky.
10:18I hate how yucky and small that ball is.
10:19Bastard!
10:20You suck and your family's not proud of you.
10:23Dumb ball.
10:24Go to hell!
10:26Dammit.
10:28Slimey free.
10:30Slimy golf ball.
10:31That was very close.
10:32You're so small.
10:33You're so gross and small and I hate...
10:35Okay.
10:36Bastard, dumb, die, kill you!
10:41Yeah, go in the hole.
10:42I hate you.
10:43Stupid ball, go in!
10:44That's actually my fault.
10:45I should have taken this out for you.
10:47Oh, I hate you!
10:48Oh, you got it.
10:49Bastard!
10:52Thanks, Walker.
10:53Thanks, Tom.
10:54You look awesome.
10:55Thanks for saying that.
10:56I'm gonna go and work on my bad language now.
10:58Perhaps you could give us one practice as you walk away.
11:01Shithead.
11:09Lisa, I feel like you're struggling with the abuse.
11:10Look, I mean, it's always great when you have a big release and you swear,
11:15but it didn't feel as though I wanted to be doing that at the golf ball.
11:18It didn't feel as though it was actually gonna help me.
11:20Well, I mean, even your abuse is polite.
11:22Like, at one point, one piece of abuse you yelled out was,
11:25fly and be free.
11:29I would like to state that from here on in,
11:31I am actually gonna become more aggressive.
11:33I'm gonna work on it, okay?
11:34Yeah.
11:35I promise.
11:36I'm just gonna let the cork out of the ball.
11:37All right, well, every time we have a live task, I want you to cut sick.
11:40Oh, cut sick.
11:41Yeah, all right.
11:42I'm working on it.
11:43Now, Waka, you convinced Cashman you were practicing,
11:46because usually that's like, if you miss, that's a shot.
11:48Official golf rules, if you're going for the ball and you miss it,
11:50that's a shot.
11:51But you managed to convince him that that was practicing?
11:53That was practice.
11:54Very close to the ball you were practicing.
11:55I know, that was very good practice.
11:58Very good practice.
12:00I never played golf.
12:01Only one time.
12:02Yeah, but you're a baseballer.
12:03It's apparent.
12:04He's a baseballer.
12:05That's ball and stick.
12:07That's...
12:08Shit, explaining.
12:12So many sports like that.
12:13Hey, Waka, just so you know, this isn't a language barrier thing.
12:17That made no sense.
12:24So, Emma, it took you quite a few shots to get it in,
12:26but everyone did not seem to think you had much ability,
12:28so that may have worked for you.
12:30Yeah, just because I don't have ability
12:31doesn't mean I want people to think that about me.
12:34Well, you might be about to have a very disappointing win.
12:37Honestly, I still don't really understand how this task works.
12:41I'm just kind of going with it at this point.
12:43Well, why don't we look at the scores?
12:44So, no-one beat what was predicted of them,
12:46but mild-mannered McCune was almost double her predicted score
12:49with 5.25 more shots than what was predicted.
12:52Waka was closer, only 1.5 shots off what was predicted of you,
12:55but Emma pips him by only a quarter.
12:57You were one and a quarter shots off what was predicted of you.
13:03And low score's a good score.
13:05Now, Cashman the Caddy is demanding his unionised drinks break,
13:08so we'll pop right off and see you after this.
13:14Welcome back to the PGA Taskmaster Tour,
13:26where our avid golfers are halfway down the fairway.
13:29That's right, we're in the middle of a golf task
13:31where our contestants have each predicted how the others will do.
13:33These next to actually play golf, it's Dave and Tommy.
13:36Come on, ball. You've been a bad boy.
13:38Only when it's in motion, please.
13:40Oh.
13:42I think the ball went over there somewhere.
13:44Good caddy talk. Thank you.
13:50I don't know where you went.
13:51Where'd you go, ball?
13:52Where are you? Call out to me, ball.
13:55I want you to be safe.
13:56Don't worry out there.
13:58Is that aggressive?
13:59Oh, yeah, right.
14:00Come back, you idiot!
14:02Do you know where it is?
14:04You hit it.
14:05Yeah, but you're the caddy.
14:06Is the caddy meant to look at where the ball is?
14:08I don't know.
14:09Are you my caddy?
14:10Yeah, I'm the caddy.
14:11I'll have another ball, yep.
14:13I'm going to put this in the bath, actually.
14:14Come on, ball.
14:15Oh, no, that went right.
14:16All right, let's go.
14:17Did it roll down into the lake?
14:19No.
14:20This is really desperate for us.
14:22The hole is the bath.
14:23It's a big hole.
14:24Is the hole the bath?
14:25The hole is the bath.
14:26Okay.
14:27Come on, run.
14:28Run, Tommy!
14:29I think I've found it.
14:31Where?
14:33Oh, no.
14:38Get in the...
14:39Oh, we are back where I hit you.
14:42Okay, the plan is through the gap in the trees here.
14:46Okay.
14:47And in the hole.
14:49Oh, you mother.
14:50Oh, I thought that was the ball for a second.
14:52Nope, the ball's there.
14:53If this hits someone, I've warned you.
14:57Paul, why are you burying yourself?
15:03Not bad.
15:04Oh!
15:06Was that really good?
15:07I think that was really good.
15:09Actually, there's a hole over there.
15:10Yep.
15:11You didn't see it.
15:12Why didn't they tell me about that?
15:14How long we got?
15:15One minute and 47 seconds.
15:16So I could take a shot now.
15:18Yes.
15:19Or we could be a big occasion player and do it right on the buzzer.
15:24You're crazy.
15:25Normally, I'd putt from here, but we're running out of time.
15:32Kids.
15:33Swearing's not the answer.
15:35I've forgotten to swear at the ball.
15:36Yeah, I forgot about that too.
15:38Oh.
15:39Maybe this could be your big opportunity to swear at the ball.
15:41Go down that hole!
15:43Tap.
15:44You!
15:45Come on!
15:46Ten seconds.
15:47Here we go.
15:48This is to win the Masters.
15:49I'm going to do it eyes closed like Michael Jordan with a free throw.
15:53Five.
15:54Four.
15:55Three.
15:56Two.
15:57One.
15:58Getting the whole knuckle.
15:59Jesus Christ.
16:00Damn it.
16:01Why didn't they take another?
16:02Eyes closed.
16:04It's in.
16:05Man!
16:06The whistle!
16:07He's vanished!
16:08I ended up further away.
16:09Mm.
16:10That's golf.
16:11Thanks, Tommy.
16:12Thanks, Tom.
16:17So, you didn't know the hole was there?
16:19As we saw, it took me a long time to realise that there was an actual hole.
16:23And I invented a hole.
16:24I invented the bath.
16:25I thought that could be my hole because I didn't know what the end game was.
16:28At some point you started saying, the bath is the hole.
16:30And I was like, okay.
16:33I'll tell you this from experience, anything can be a hole with the right attitude.
16:43Now, Tommy, why'd you leave it down to the last minute?
16:45You could have just got it in the hole.
16:47Because I just thought, isn't it a nice little stamp on it to just a buzzer beater?
16:54Like my favourite sport, basketball.
16:56And then I just...
16:58I just...
16:59F***ed it.
17:02Alright, I feel like we need to hear their scores.
17:04Well, Tommy was in a position to win easily but went for the drama and now is dramatically disqualified.
17:09Give that up, come on.
17:15Why did you start that?
17:17I've never been more an idiot in my life and I didn't come last.
17:20That's incredible, so...
17:22But you didn't have to go like this.
17:24You cried and nobody joined you and then you turned to the orange and went, come on.
17:27We're meant to be comrades.
17:30We are, we're celebrating your failure.
17:32Speaking of failure, Dave's score...
17:36Dave's predicted score was 5.75 and he was slightly over that with 18 shots.
17:42Yeah.
17:43So that means...
17:44Come on.
17:45So that means Tommy gets 0 points, Dave gets 2, Lisa gets 3, Micah gets 4, but Emma wins
17:57the task with 5 points.
17:59And in terms of the episode scores, Tommy is on 5 points, every other contestant is on 6 points.
18:08Ooh!
18:09Close!
18:10OK, great round now.
18:12Shall we depart the fairway for the next task?
18:14Yes.
18:15Let's head back to the clubhouse for some nibbles and small talk.
18:18Hey.
18:19Hi.
18:20Hey.
18:21I'm so sorry.
18:22You're on a mission.
18:23Hello?
18:24Hi.
18:25Hi.
18:26This is why.
18:27Mingle at the party.
18:28Best mingling wins.
18:29You have 25 minutes.
18:30Your time's ready.
18:31I'm ready.
18:32Oh.
18:33Oh.
18:34Oh.
18:35Oh.
18:36Oh.
18:37Oh.
18:38Oh.
18:39Oh.
18:40Oh.
18:41Oh.
18:42Oh.
18:43Oh.
18:44Oh.
18:45Oh.
18:47Oh.
18:48Oh.
18:49Oh.
18:50Oh.
18:51Oh.
18:52Oh.
18:53Oh.
18:54Oh.
18:55Oh.
18:56Oh.
18:57starts now hello gang sorry to interrupt can I can I jump in and say hi yeah we
19:03were hoping you'd make it
19:07so is it I feel like there was a mistake because we didn't see any of the other
19:12contestants just Tommy did with a I feel like
19:19did the editors rush that through and they just cut the others out or
19:22something as you well know only Tommy did this one so tell me how do you feel
19:29right now I invested so much in those people I really got to know them oh yeah
19:35what are their names that was Gary with the mustache I take it back I've just
19:41been told his name was George
19:44okay and are we going to see more of it yeah but we thought we'd just spread his
19:52mingling out across the episode don't worry we're gonna see a lot more of Tommy
19:58mingling oh I can't wait all right goody let's have another task then we're teaming
20:06up again for a group discount to the museum
20:22hi Emma hello Tom hi Tommy hi Tom hi Tom hi Tom hi Tom hi Dave hello
20:28I'm not doing that there's no one else touch him no what is it the typewriter
20:36involved type of 50 word team bio on this typewriter you must type alternate
20:41words and any words spoken must be typed most self-glorifying bio wins you have
20:48five minutes your time starts now any word spoken from we have to write that
20:53down. Those are the first words, type that now please. Any words spoken we have to write
20:58that down. So we have to type a word each. Please type those into the typewriter.
21:05Incredible best duo ever we are great at sex. Thrilling hot revolutionary couple and we
21:21like. Sex. Who. Listen. Like. Diamonds. Diamond stars. Our favourite. Doggie. What? Oh, we're jammed. We. Love.
21:51Sex. That was really hard. I never heard sex so many times. Thank you. I'm very worried
22:01about this team.
22:10Hi, Tommy. Hi, Emma. Hello, Thomas. You grab it if you can. Thank you. What's this? Oh,
22:17what's it say? Any words spoken, we have to write that down. It's our bio and someone's
22:23engraved it onto here. It must have been good if they engraved it. I'm not sure that's true.
22:28Create an interactive museum display to be viewed by museum visitors in 100 years time.
22:33The display must be on the subject written on the plaque. Most educational interactive museum
22:39display wins. Your interactive museum display must be open to visitors in 45 minutes. Your
22:46time starts now. Alright, well, what are the key words? Sex. Sex. Dogs. Doggie. Maybe it's
22:53the key in the accident that we first spoke, which is any word spoken. In 2025, language was
23:00important. Yes, because of course it's disappearing because we're using so many phones. Yes, people
23:04are talking about riz and skibbity. Have you heard about skibbity? No, it's skibbity. I don't
23:08know. Why don't we just be naked covered in glitter? Yeah, I don't know about that. Go on.
23:15Okay, so the teams are back. We've got the A team, aged team. And the B team, better team.
23:26Now, Tommy, it's good to see you branching out there, by the way. You know one stage
23:31wucker, when he was exasperated, he turned to me and he grabbed me and he goes, why are
23:36you so horny? It's true. You just sit many times in sex and you're just great in just
23:49sex. But also, can I say, Lisa wanted us naked with glitter on us. I mean, did I? I don't
23:55recall that. It was on the screen. Alright, let's get stuck in. Making a museum exhibition
24:01on the subject of, so we have to type a word each. We are great at sex. We like sex. Our
24:06favourite doggy, what, love us? And we love sex. We f***ing love to rock. Also, beautiful
24:13and fantastic and sex. We will dominate anyone in the world and f*** you, you f***ing f***s.
24:18Bye. It's Emma, Wucker and Tommy.
24:22A hundred years ago today, humans ruled the earth. They used to say things like we're
24:35great as sex. And we love sex. And we love doggy style, which was very demeaning to our whole
24:41breed. In fact, they treated us badly, very poorly. Until one day, everything changed. And
24:48my friend Walker here had had enough. And he fought back. Walker, that's your cue.
24:55Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's enough! Go!
25:01Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
25:05This is human hers.
25:11They say every dog has its day. Well, guess what, you sons of bitches? Every human does,
25:19too. And from them, everything changed. And now we show them that we like sex. And we're
25:26fantastic at it. But we don't do human style. We tried it once, it was boring. A lot of looking
25:31in the eyes and lying to each other. I don't trust them. Oh, and one more thing. F*** you,
25:38you f***ing f***s. Bye.
25:42Tommy Little there, bravely trying an accent again. And we all remember how it went last
25:54time, don't we?
25:55He stayed in that accent the entire time we were filming. He was like Daniel Day-Lewis.
26:00Like, he was in... You were focused. I had a f***ing good time! What can I say?
26:06So, let's get this straight. In the future, dogs have overtaken the planet and run museums
26:10where the first ever dog to attack their owner is chained up like a slave to re-enact the
26:14day of the uprising. Is that what you were going for? You got it, wise-ass.
26:19To be honest, I'm just glad the exhibit wasn't the three of you having sex.
26:23I want to make it clear it was because I said no.
26:28Me too. And Walker.
26:30Alright, to see us to the break, here's a bit of Tommy's mingling.
26:35Do you guys want these things?
26:37Sure, thank you.
26:39I don't even know. Are they brandy snaps?
26:41Mm-hmm. I sure are.
26:42What are your names?
26:51George, it's one of the more impressive mustaches I've ever seen.
26:53Oh, cheers.
26:54Why do they call them handlebars?
26:56I guess they look like handlebars.
26:59I guess.
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah.
27:05Welcome back to Taskmaster.
27:07Lesser Tom, what did we just see?
27:09We just saw Tommy Little doing a task where he has to mingle with a room full of extras
27:13for 25 minutes, which no one else had to do.
27:15OK, now what else is going on?
27:18In our team task, our contestants are creating museum exhibits for the future based on their team bios.
27:24Next up, making a museum display out of any word spoken.
27:28We have to write that down.
27:29Incredible.
27:30Best duo ever to breathe on planet Earth.
27:32Ever outstanding, talent-thrilling, hot, revolutionary couple who glisten like diamond stars.
27:38Conjoining icons simulating, oh, we're jammed.
27:41Height bits in tandem.
27:43Terrific talent.
27:44Unrivaled brilliance.
27:45Perfect timing.
27:46Delicious tasting.
27:47Mouth-watering.
27:48That's the end of the bio.
27:49Here's Lisa and Dave.
27:50Go.
27:51Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days about.
28:07Times.
28:08Times, Dave?
28:09We're going back in time.
28:10Alright.
28:11Oh, shit.
28:12That is what we have done to the planet.
28:16Back in time.
28:17Any words spoken are important.
28:20You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
28:25Hala said that.
28:27Yeah, is she?
28:28OK.
28:29Spread love everywhere.
28:32It's beer o'clock.
28:34Kevin bloody Wilson said that.
28:37Do one thing that scares you every day.
28:42Who said that?
28:43I have no idea.
28:44I just Googled that one.
28:46Remember, if we do not speak our words.
28:51Nobody will know what you're saying or what you mean.
28:54Everybody gang them style.
28:58You don't need to run from your problems.
29:05But you've got to have.
29:08Say it.
29:11You've got to have what?
29:12Soul.
29:13Oh, soul.
29:18This exhibition is now closed.
29:21Dang.
29:22This is so bad.
29:26Be proud.
29:27Own it.
29:28What?
29:35It was a bloody mess.
29:44I don't feel educated by that.
29:50There was a lot going on.
29:53I can't believe I'm saying this.
29:55But watching two 53-year-olds do Gangnam Style was the least awkward bit.
29:59What were you just trying to do there?
30:04We were just trying to remember the most famous words through history and present them for future generations so that they too can learn from the finest minds to ever exist on this planet.
30:16And I think we achieved that.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Yeah.
30:20He's chaos.
30:21He's just chaos.
30:22I mean, he's masterful and I followed his lead as best I could.
30:26Oh, you're blaming me for this bullshit, are you?
30:28No.
30:29All right.
30:30Well, I guess that what I'm looking for is which one...
30:32Most educational.
30:33Which was the most educational?
30:35I feel like one was a bit more educational than the other just because it made sense.
30:40Yep.
30:41Kind of.
30:42There was a story there, whereas the other one was just, I don't know, it was like free jazz.
30:47So I'm going to give the better team 5-5-5.
30:50Okay.
30:51And the aged team 2-2.
30:53All right.
30:54Ooh.
30:55And the scores for the episode, Dave and Lisa are both on eight points.
31:03Tommy's on ten, but Emma and Waka tied in the lead with 11 points apiece.
31:07Ooh.
31:08Ooh.
31:09Okay, less red tape and more red wax on tasks.
31:15Sure thing.
31:16This one requires a red eye reduction.
31:30Where's Tom Tom?
31:32Hello, eh?
31:34You're quiet.
31:35Don't miss me scare.
31:37It's quite tough.
31:39Hi, Lisa.
31:40Hello.
31:41Hi, Tommy.
31:42Oh, hey, boo.
31:45Leave it on the stick.
31:46Leave it on the string.
31:47Yep.
31:48Right.
31:49Make a thing be mid-air when these camera flashes go off.
31:54The camera flashes will go off exactly 20 seconds after you yell cheese.
31:58Your thing must be made to be mid-air from the mat.
32:02If your thing isn't mid-air when the flashes go off, you will be disqualified.
32:07Shortest time for your thing in the air wins.
32:09You have ten minutes to select your thing and yell cheese.
32:14Your time starts now.
32:15Dave, would you mind, um, disconnecting the task from that wire?
32:19My arm is getting very sore.
32:21Part of it, mate.
32:22So, basically, when the flash goes, you want to have something in the air.
32:28That's right.
32:29It's going to be mid-air when the flash goes off.
32:31Okay.
32:32Well, our contestants have to wait 20 seconds before throwing their thing.
32:35But first, you viewers have to wait two minutes before seeing a thing.
32:38Because this is an ad break.
32:39See you soon.
32:40I'm actually more interested in what you do for fun.
32:44Yeah, I heard you're doing that skate for me.
32:46Yeah, you skate?
32:47I do.
32:48I'm a bit fat now, but I still get on it.
32:49I want to please you.
32:51You're adorable.
32:53Do you want something to add to that fatness?
32:55Why not?
33:03Who knows no one ever makes spinach made out of meat?
33:06It's always the other way around.
33:07That's good.
33:10Yes.
33:15Welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:17Thanks for your patience and the patience of the poor extras you saw Tommy Little dribbling at.
33:22Cashman, remind us of the task at hand.
33:25Our contestants have to count to 20 and then chuck something in the air.
33:28That thing needs to be mid-air exactly 20 seconds after they yell cheese,
33:32as opposed to whispering cheese, which is what I do when I take a selfie.
33:35Don't reward his sad ways.
33:41First up on Cheese TV, it's Lisa, Tommy and Dave.
33:45Okay.
33:46I'm going to go to the shed.
33:48Be careful though.
33:49It's a bit creepy over there.
33:50A bit creepy.
33:51Are you going to throw these?
33:54Nah.
33:55That's just for my benefit.
33:56And the audience at large.
33:58Here's a couple of options I've got here.
34:08I think we might have a winner.
34:10This could be a really bad move, but I'm just going to give it a go.
34:13I wouldn't mind a bit of theatrics for the finishing shot.
34:16Like maybe a broomstick.
34:20This is going to be sick.
34:2220 seconds after I say cheese.
34:26Focus.
34:27You can do this.
34:28Cheese.
34:29Cheese.
34:30Cheese.
34:31Cheese.
34:33One banana.
34:34Two banana.
34:35Three banana.
34:36Four Mississippi.
34:37Five Mississippi.
34:38Six Mississippi.
34:41Ten banana.
34:42Eleven banana.
34:43Twelve Mississippi.
34:44Thirteen Mississippi.
34:45Fourteen Mississippi.
34:47Fifteen Mississippi.
34:48Oh, damn it!
34:57Oh, my God, damn it.
35:0012 banana, 13 banana, 14 banana, 15 banana, 16 banana, 17, 18, 19, 20.
35:15I didn't even get to throw it in the air.
35:17I didn't get to throw it in the air.
35:18I'm so sad.
35:31So, so close.
35:33Oh.
35:34So, Husey, the Mississippi, the one Mississippi, two Mississippi,
35:37I think works with an American accent, not the Australian drawl.
35:40Yeah, I was right off.
35:42I think they both did well.
35:44And Lisa, I just, I'm really, I'm heartbroken for Lisa right now, to be honest.
35:48Yeah.
35:48Yeah, well, Lisa, you were so close.
35:50I really panicked.
35:51I just got a little bit, I got a bit edgy.
35:53It felt like it was taking too long.
35:54So, did you actually throw it a little bit earlier than you meant to?
35:57No, I didn't wait till the last banana properly.
35:59I don't think I gave it a proper banana.
36:01Okay.
36:02I think I just did banana.
36:03So, Tommy, what were you aiming for?
36:05Were you trying to be a witch or something?
36:06Yeah, I was going to be a witch.
36:07Yeah, and so were you thinking just at the last moment,
36:09you're going to jump really high?
36:10I was going to jump, and so then it was going to be me mid-air looking like I'm flying through the air.
36:14It was going to be awesome.
36:15So, just you jumping in the air would have been...
36:17Yeah, I got a big jump, though.
36:19Show us.
36:19It's a small window, mate.
36:32It's not a short jump.
36:33I've got a sore calf, and you know that.
36:37Don't hurt yourself.
36:38Don't hurt yourself.
36:38Why not?
36:39Come on, let's go.
36:40Oh, that was pretty good.
36:50I should not have done that.
36:53All right.
36:53Well, so, how do I judge these?
36:55Are they just all disqualified?
36:57They're all disqualified.
36:58Oh, you cannot disqualify Lisa for what she did.
37:03Don't think you.
37:05What about Tommy?
37:08Disqualify Tommy.
37:09But Lisa was so close.
37:11But the rules are the rules.
37:13Can you drive away from this studio tonight giving Lisa zero for that effort?
37:17Can you do that?
37:18Absolutely happy to.
37:22I thrive on it.
37:24I love it.
37:25Lisa's umbrella hit the ground.
37:270.34 seconds too late.
37:29Oh!
37:31Wow, that close.
37:32All right.
37:33Who's next, dude?
37:34Our remaining flashers are Waka and Emma.
37:37It just feels like there's no other way to do this
37:39but then to say cheese and then throw an object up in her.
37:41I didn't say it.
37:42That wasn't me saying it.
37:43Okay.
37:43Okay.
37:45They're not going to go off, are they?
37:47All the information you need is in the task.
37:48Oh, no.
37:49The camera flashers will go off exactly 20 seconds after you yell.
37:52Okay.
37:53Thank God.
37:53Okay.
37:54I'm going to get a balloon.
37:55All right.
37:56Good.
37:56I have something with you.
37:57Yeah.
37:58I just make this.
38:02Not yet.
38:03Not yet.
38:03I'll just pluck this.
38:10Did you see?
38:11I feel like this will stay mid-air longer than something else.
38:13All right.
38:15Cheese!
38:15That felt like it went well.
38:33I said cheese.
38:3420 seconds.
38:35You don't say cheese.
38:36What?
38:37Yell.
38:39Cheese!
38:40What's a yell?
38:41Yell is screaming.
38:42That was a yell.
38:43All right.
38:44Okay, let's go.
38:44Let's do it.
38:46Cheese!
38:47One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
39:0720 seconds.
39:09Mm.
39:1020 seconds.
39:11I was 10.
39:12Oh!
39:15I said twice.
39:18Jeez, and the first one is already...
39:20Yep.
39:20That triggered the...
39:24APPLAUSE
39:25OK.
39:34So, Emma, do you have a freakish internal clock?
39:37What was going on?
39:37I think I'm good at counting.
39:39afterwards I did turn around and the whole crew was going
39:43now yes Japanese people are famous for their love of photography and being punctual on time
39:53you failed at both of these have you let your nation down that was a good last task of the day
40:00and I was very worried about myself I thought my brains already up like to not count anything so
40:08in the flash went off yeah you thought I don't know how to count anymore yeah I'm very worried
40:14about myself is it quick is it quicker to count to 20 in Japanese or English do you think I wonder
40:19same number I don't know you know what I mean like what's what number five what's five in Japanese
40:33go it's about the same so we've got four disqualifications that's right and I guess
40:46that makes one winner yeah so zero points for everyone except Emma who gets five points okay
40:54off to a break like an unexpected flash it's bright sudden and leaves you seeing spots see you soon
40:59awesome yeah mum's not around I'm sorry yeah that's great
41:08I've got a pussy hand it's a line with a monocle one for everyone
41:21welcome back from the break to Taskmaster where Tommy's still chin wagging before we go up for our live
41:33task I have some episode and series score updates for you so on eight points we've got Lisa and Dave
41:39Tommy's on 10 Wakka's on 11 and Emma's on a canter out in front on 16 points now in terms of the overall
41:49series scores Emma's out in front in the series as well on 96 points all right we have one more task of
41:59the live variety head on up to the stage okay what's happening here buddy boy quite a lot I'm going to
42:09ask each contestant to take their mini mat and place it wherever they like anywhere within the area
42:14on the lower stage Dave Hughes if you could choose first oh what Emma
42:24Lisa here we go here we go Waka
42:38Tommy Tommy the flying V
42:47let's do it let's rock and roll
42:49now I'm going to ask Waka to read the task
42:55all right Pat the dog you must be wearing your blindfold and cannot step off or move
43:07you are mad fastest wins your time starts when Tom release the dog yes Emma could you please ask
43:20Hughes to be careful with his hands Tom I'm legitimately terrified of the dark okay is this scary the dark
43:31as in do we get to see what's in there before no I promise it's not scary one other thing I'd like to
43:37clarify if you knock the dog over or if you even touch with your hands the floor you're disqualified oh
43:42oh okay please put your blindfolds on oh this sucks no it's fine
43:47it's the least
43:49oh
43:52stay on the mat
43:52stay on the mat
43:52what's happening
43:54what's happening
43:58stay on the mat
43:59stay on the mat
44:02Stay on the mat!
44:04Stay on the mat!
44:06Tommy, settle down!
44:10What's happened?
44:12Stay on the mat!
44:14Stand up, man! Stand up!
44:16Tommy's disqualified.
44:18What's happening?
44:20What's going on? Is Tommy alright?
44:22Tommy's fine. Where is Tommy?
44:24Don't worry about Tommy!
44:26Are you okay, Dave? I can hear it.
44:28It's near us.
44:30Come here, boy. Come here, boy.
44:31Dave is disqualified. What have I done?
44:33You've touched the floor heaps.
44:37Oh my god, that was such a stressful start.
44:45Oh! No!
44:47No!
44:49What just happened?
44:51You did not pat the dog.
44:53Everyone's okay? Everyone's fine.
45:07Everyone has time to vote!
45:11Everyone has time to vote!
45:13Oh!
45:15We're down to Lisa and Rocca.
45:19It's like a DVD loading screen.
45:21Don't touch the floor!
45:23Come on!
45:25Come on!
45:27Come on!
45:29Come on!
45:31Come on!
45:33Come on!
45:39Oh!
45:41Yes!
45:43Down!
45:44Down!
45:45Down!
45:46Down!
45:47Down!
45:48Down!
45:49Down!
45:50Down!
45:51Down!
45:52Down!
45:53Down!
45:54Down!
45:55Down!
45:56Down!
45:57Down!
45:58Down!
45:59Down!
46:00Down!
46:01Down!
46:02Down!
46:03Down!
46:04Down!
46:05Down!
46:06Down!
46:07Down!
46:08Down!
46:09Down!
46:11Down!
46:13Down!
46:15Down!
46:17Down!
46:19Down!
46:21Down!
46:27That means Lisa's last.
46:29That's the end of the task.
46:31What happened?
46:33Okay, what a great task.
46:35But seeing as that dog is a
46:37single-used shepherd, we need a quick
46:39break to go. I'll yeller him out the
46:41back. See you after this.
46:43Why are you screaming?
46:45People would think you just had a funny
46:47attitude. I was doing Michael Jackson.
46:49Yeah.
47:01Hey, that's our time.
47:03You've all been lovely and I really appreciate
47:05it. Well done, everybody. Thank you.
47:09Thanks, gang.
47:17Welcome back to Taskmaster where
47:19Tommy Little has been entertaining a room
47:21full of unpaid extras with such
47:23thrilling chat as, I've got a
47:25pussy hand.
47:27Oh.
47:29That's right and it still was technically
47:31a task even though only Tommy had to do it
47:33so we have to score it.
47:35Okay, well...
47:37It was pretty good.
47:39Well, you know, I am going to give him some points.
47:41Okay.
47:43Two points for Tommy for his mingling.
47:51Now to recap on the live task that we just saw,
47:53traumatising for some.
47:55Tommy had a meltdown, Dave was just Dave,
47:57they both got disqualified.
47:59Lisa got three points, Waka got four,
48:01but Emma won the task and gets five points.
48:03So, with all the points now in the blender,
48:07what does the episode smoothie
48:09pour out as?
48:11Emma's run away with it with blackjack,
48:1321 points, she's our winner for the episode!
48:15Congratulations, Emma.
48:17Head up to the stage to pop your
48:19yester-year...
48:21What a rip-snorter.
48:23But with every rip-snorter comes lessons.
48:27We learnt Tommy isn't the big game player
48:29he wished he was.
48:31We learnt Emma is freakishly good at counting to 20,
48:35and we learnt what it would look like
48:37if Dave and Lisa ever went to Burning Man.
48:42Bravo, Emma, for winning,
48:43and until the next one,
48:45I'll see you when I'm looking at you.
48:47Goodnight!
49:01Welcome to the pterodon.
49:05Oh my god, you've unleashed the dragon.
49:09My fight or flight kicked in,
49:10and it turns out I cower.
49:11I think I'm proud of myself.
49:13What the f***, Tom?
49:15I won!
49:16I know you think you're being smart now,
49:17but if you were...
49:18No, no, no, I don't think it,
49:19I know it.
49:20I know it.