EastEnders 23rd April 2025-n
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TVTranscript
00:00I've... I've checked upstairs and he... he ain't here.
00:16Did he say anything else in the letter?
00:21It's just that, er...
00:24It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:27Listen, I've got to...
00:29I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:46Please...
00:48Please...
00:49Please don't... don't hurt me again.
00:52Please.
00:57You, er...
01:01See Nigel?
01:02Earlier, yes.
01:03No, no, recently now. Last hour or so.
01:05Oh, what? Has something else happened?
01:07No, no, er...
01:09I just thought he might come in here. I know that he talks to you.
01:12Yes, it does.
01:16When we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:20He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:24And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:27He's, er...
01:29He's been planning on taking his own life.
01:37Okay.
01:39You don't seem that surprised.
01:42Well, the way he was talking gave me cause of concern, even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
01:49Yeah, well, he ain't. And now he's got missing.
01:53Alright, I don't come with you.
01:55What are you doing?
01:56I'm coming. We need to look for him.
01:57No, no, no, please. Just stay here, yeah?
01:59He might... he might walk past, see the light, and then come in here.
02:01So, please, just... just stay here.
02:03And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:05Alright.
02:06Cheers.
02:07Phil! Phil!
02:18Oh!
02:19I was talking to, er, Nigel earlier, and, er, he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:24He had a gold act, but, er, did he say anything about going out tonight?
02:27No. Why?
02:30Later.
02:33I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:36Just saying.
02:38Phil?
02:42Have you tried calling?
02:43Yeah, of course I tried calling, but there's no answer.
02:45He's...
02:47Maybe he's done talking.
02:50You don't have to go in there, alright? I'll do it.
02:52No, no, no, no.
02:53If he's in there, this is on me.
02:56You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
02:59It won't.
03:06You don't have to go in there anyway,hanh�h.
03:08What?
03:09OK.
03:10Okay.
03:12.
03:13It's all an hour.
03:43We find him, we find him and we make sure he's on top.
03:53That night that he called the mental health people, I was angry.
04:00He did the hard thing.
04:04He was trying to look after me, I understand that.
04:08Now I'm going to do the same for him.
04:12I'm going to do the hard thing.
04:15And do what? Get him sectioned?
04:18He's an angel to himself, the same as I was.
04:21It's not the same though, it's not the same at all.
04:24He wants to kill himself, he wants to die, just like I did.
04:30You know, finding this note coming in there is, it's probably all up, you know, what I, what I've brought you all forever long.
04:41I am sorry. I'm sorry.
04:44I'm sorry.
04:47He's count of him.
04:55What? What is it?
04:58I really thought I was going to find him there, you know, I thought, I thought I was going to walk through that door and I was going to see him laying there.
05:07I thought I was going to see him laying there just like I saw my mum.
05:12Hello?
05:13Speaking.
05:14It's the hospital.
05:15Is he okay?
05:16That was such good news.
05:17Yeah, we've been really worried.
05:18They found him.
05:19He's safe.
05:20Oh.
05:21Oh.
05:22Oh.
05:23Oh.
05:24Oh.
05:25Oh.
05:26Oh.
05:27Oh.
05:28Oh.
05:29Oh.
05:30Oh.
05:31Oh.
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05:33Oh.
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05:35Oh.
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05:37Oh.
05:38Oh.
05:39Oh.
05:40Oh.
05:41Oh.
05:42Oh.
05:43Oh.
05:44Oh.
05:45Oh.
05:46Oh.
05:47Oh.
05:48Oh.
05:49Oh.
05:50Oh.
05:51Oh.
05:52Thank God.
05:53Oh.
05:54We were worried sick.
05:55Oh.
05:56What happened?
05:57Huh?
05:58Is someone at you?
05:59I fell.
06:00Well, that's not what the nurse out there said.
06:03She said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged.
06:05Oh.
06:06I fell.
06:07So whatever happened there, right?
06:09It should've been me they caught, not Linda.
06:12I washed my hands of you.
06:14My memory ain't what it was.
06:16Well, I remember that.
06:18Listen, you're angry at me, and I don't blame you.
06:22Stop.
06:25Have they said how long you need to be in here?
06:28Well, I think I might have a...
06:32What's it called when you get a bang on the head?
06:35A concussion?
06:36A concussion, yeah.
06:38I won't let you leave on my own because of that.
06:41Good.
06:42Because if they did it, you'd just wander off on your own again, wouldn't you?
06:46He's just worried.
06:53He told me what he said to you.
06:57He was angry at the thought of you hurting yourself.
07:04He won't say this because he don't know how.
07:09But he really cares about you.
07:14Do you mind leaving me now? I need to get dressed.
07:21Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about, all right?
07:31This man is a danger to himself.
07:33Phil, can I have a word?
07:34Yeah, in a minute.
07:35What?
07:36What are you playing at, eh?
07:38Stopping you from making a mistake.
07:40It's going to be standing by and letting another person hurt themselves.
07:44But trying to get him sectioned is not the answer.
07:47What happened to Peggy, to you, and what's happening to Nigel now,
07:52and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story, and it's not.
07:56He told me he wants to kill himself.
07:59No, Phil.
08:00What he wants is not to get worse.
08:03You know, Shirley's mum, Sylvie, when she was at her worst near the end, I promised myself that if that was me, I would not let it come to that.
08:15So I understand.
08:17You know, I may not like it, but I do get it.
08:21He's not depressed and in despair like you were.
08:25He is not an alcoholic like me.
08:27What he's got, you can't recover from.
08:34He is in despair, all right?
08:37And he's frightened.
08:38What am I supposed to do, just throw my arms up in here and walk away and let him end it all?
08:43No.
08:45Look, I don't know.
08:47Just talk to him.
08:50It's his life.
09:06I'm sorry for what I said before at the house.
09:11I suppose you scared me.
09:16So where was you headed tonight?
09:19Uh, well, after talking to Gene, I got worried and I made arrangements to rent a little park home near the coast.
09:32Coast?
09:33Coast?
09:34You're talking about where on the coast?
09:35Kent.
09:36Um, I forget, I can't remember the town.
09:39I've written it down somewhere.
09:41That was always the plan.
09:42As soon as I felt I was becoming a burden, I'd go live out the rest of my days in a peace by the sea.
09:55I probably should have done it sooner, but I'd hope that being in a familiar place with familiar faces might bring back the good times.
10:10I might even slow down the symptoms.
10:14And I thought I was doing some good.
10:17You were.
10:18You were.
10:19You were.
10:20But what, what you said, you know, in your note about being a burden, you, you ain't a burden to me.
10:31So come home, yeah?
10:32We can, we can take you day by day.
10:36And, um, what you said at the arches about you needing me, well, there's only the half of it.
10:52How are you feeling?
10:54Yeah, yeah, better, thank you.
10:56Well, the doctor said you can be discharged as long as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you.
11:00Is that the case?
11:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:04Um, I'm going back home in here.
11:07Good.
11:08Will I leave you to get your things together?
11:09Right, thank you.
11:11Sorry, um, you see all this stuff in the news about brain injuries and dementia.
11:16I, I, I just wondered, you know, could a knock to the head make the condition worse?
11:22You'd have to speak to a specialist, but I can't think it will have helped.
11:30Oh, this tap, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to get the plumber around it.
11:45Yeah.
11:46You, uh, you fancy a copper?
11:49Oh, cheers, yeah.
11:50Right.
11:51Who's that?
11:54Gene.
11:55Listen, that, uh, that video you made, I know why you made it.
12:01Well, now it's all out in the open, we can talk about it.
12:03You, you don't need it anymore, so you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
12:06Yeah.
12:07Yeah.
12:08Yeah.
12:09Right.
12:10I'll delete it.
12:13Now, I'm still master of my own, I said I'll delete it, and I'll delete it, in my own time.
12:25Okay.
12:26Back in a minute.
12:27Where you going?
12:28Uh, uh, Gene brought this round, she wants it back.
12:31What, now?
12:32That's what she says.
12:34Well, I'll drop it back, you need, you need the rest, yeah?
12:37I'll make the tea when I get back.
12:40Okay.
12:41So, if you can't answer, uh, if you get, if you file the test, then, uh, you've got to
13:02take action, whilst you still can.
13:05No ifs, no buts, fail this test, and you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:22What is it?
13:23What's happened?
13:24Uh, nothing.
13:25Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on, but, uh, Nigel went missing.
13:29Oh, and you found him?
13:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine now.
13:32Well, you're right, yeah, I've got to take better care of him.
13:38Anyway, here you go.
13:40Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:42What, you said you, uh, said you wanted a bet?
13:45How would he say that?
13:47Uh, maybe he's confused.
13:49There's been a lot of that lately.
13:51Thanks.
13:53Question five.
13:54Yeah.
13:55In Smokey and a Bandit, the dog in Smokey and a Bandit, specially chosen by Burt Reynolds,
14:06what's his name?
14:07What's his name?
14:08Or her name?
14:09Yeah.
14:10I don't know.
14:11I don't know.
14:12I don't know.
14:13I don't know.
14:14I don't know.
14:15I don't know.
14:16I don't know.
14:29What's your game, eh?
14:30You should never ask for this.
14:31I'm sorry.
14:32You trying to get rid of me or something, eh?
14:33You deleted that video yet?
14:34Nigel, I don't understand, alright?
14:35I thought we agreed you don't need it anymore.
14:36You know that things are going to get better now.
14:37Well, it won't.
14:38It won't.
14:39It won't.
14:40It won't.
14:41It won't.
14:42It can't.
14:43That's what you don't seem to understand.
14:45Things are going to get bad.
14:46And much quicker than I thought.
14:47Where are you going?
14:48Where are you going?
14:49Where are you going?
14:50Where are you going?
14:51Where are you going?
14:52Where are you going?
14:53Where are you going?
14:54Tau.
14:56What?
14:57Where are you going?
14:58What?
14:59I don't know.
15:00What?
15:01What's your game?
15:02You should never ask for this.
15:03You're trying to get rid of me or something?
15:04You deleted that video yet?
15:05and I thought...
15:06Where are you going?
15:07Where are you going?
15:08I told you, the sea, the house.
15:09Yeah.
15:10You don't need to go there anymore, Nigel.
15:12Nigel, you don't need to go there anymore, all right?
15:16It's locked.
15:17Have you got the key?
15:20I've locked it.
15:23Nigel, I've locked it.
15:24I've locked that one another.
15:25You can't keep me prisoner.
15:26I'm not keeping you prisoner.
15:27I'm trying to keep you safe.
15:29No!
15:30You're doing what I'm most scared of,
15:32taking away my decisions.
15:35Phil, please.
15:38It's time.
15:39You have to let me go.
15:41Go where?
15:42Go where?
15:43Some crappy little caravan, eh?
15:45It's a park home.
15:47This is your home, Nigel.
15:49This is your home.
15:50There's nothing you can do there that you can't do here.
15:52It'd be worse there.
15:53You'd be alone, wouldn't you?
15:55You need a place to spend the days you've got left.
15:58This, this is it.
16:02What?
16:05Nigel, I think we're a bit past the cloak and dagger stage, aren't we?
16:08If you've got anything to say, you can tell me.
16:10I'm, I'm your mate, ain't I?
16:13I failed.
16:19The, erm...
16:20cognitive test I made for myself.
16:24I failed.
16:25I failed it just now.
16:26It's just...
16:27It's all right.
16:28It don't mean nothing.
16:29It means everything.
16:30It's just some stupid question.
16:31Questions that I rely on, that I promised myself I'd act on before it's too late.
16:37You have to let me go.
16:38Listen, you're stressed, all right?
16:39You don't know apples from oranges, right?
16:40You're just taking a massive blow to the head.
16:42Yes.
16:43Which has speeded everything up like that nurse said.
16:46No, she never said that.
16:49Something's changed.
16:50Nothing changes that quickly, Nigel, all right now?
16:53Now just park yourself up because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense.
16:57I am seeing sense, that's the whole point.
17:01But in a week, a month, I might not remember.
17:06I might not even care.
17:08Then what does it matter, eh?
17:10What does it matter?
17:13Because I care now.
17:18And I want this Nigel to make the decisions.
17:26This me.
17:27Have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold?
17:45It's not just a case of having a dodgy memory.
17:48It's not being able to walk or wash myself or even right now on the backside.
17:57Sitting in some home and being fed like a child by someone I don't even know.
18:08I don't want to die like that.
18:12I want to be me.
18:15Right to the end.
18:18Now, do you understand?
18:21Now, do you understand?
18:31Phil?
18:36Phil.
18:40Phil.
18:44You should, uh...
18:45You should call Julie, tell her what you're planning because that's the least you can do.
18:54No.
18:55I don't want that for her.
18:57I didn't want this for you.
18:59Never want that to be a burden.
19:02Weren't you listening back at the hospital, eh?
19:04You ain't a burden, all right?
19:06You never were, you never could be because...
19:09Because you...
19:11You saved me.
19:12Anyone would have done what I did that night.
19:14No, not that night.
19:16Not just there.
19:17Here, in this house.
19:18Every day since I left the unit.
19:19You...
19:21You saved me, Nigel.
19:24Fred.
19:26I was about to do it.
19:29I would have...
19:31I would have done it.
19:33Oh, my God.
19:34You know...
19:35You know...
19:40A while ago, I...
19:42I spent the best part of the year thinking I was 59 when I was...
19:44Actually, I was...
19:45I was 58.
19:47No dementia or no dementia.
19:48We all...
19:49We all forget things.
19:50We all make mistakes.
19:52It doesn't...
19:53Change things, really.
19:54This...
19:55This disease is going to beat me in the end.
19:57Nigel.
19:58I...
19:59I...
20:00I...
20:01I...
20:02I...
20:03I...
20:04I...
20:05I...
20:06I...
20:07I...
20:08I...
20:09I...
20:10I...
20:11I...
20:12I...
20:13I...
20:14The...
20:15Nice to be all got beaten in the end.
20:16You know...
20:17You're...
20:18You're worried about...
20:19You're...
20:19You're...
20:19You're in your future.
20:21But the future, the...
20:22The...
20:23You古 you imagined...
20:24It...
20:25It don't have to go down like that.
20:26Now...
20:27I will do everything I can to...
20:29To change things.
20:30So that you feel like...
20:32That you're in control.
20:33Yeah...
20:34And if...
20:36You know...
20:37When the time comes for you to move on.
20:38You don't have to live in some...
20:41Buxy, little...
20:42There's places you can go. Good places, full of good people.
20:47Kind, respecting, caring people that will look after you.
20:52Just...
20:54Just think about it. Yeah?
21:12I'll have a couple of cheese and a toastie, by the way.
21:29Oh, I saw you as I was leaving the library. Did you find him?
21:33Yeah.
21:34How is he?
21:35Well, he's safe at least, but I think the rest is going to take time.
21:40Well, he's lucky to have a friend like you.
21:43Well, I don't know about that.
21:45Well, he's just about having a mistake in the book today, but...
21:48Well, I think we might have turned the corner.
21:50So, what next?
21:52He don't like the look of what's coming down the line.
21:54I can't say I blame him, but...
21:56Well, I'm going to look into some care homes.
21:58Try and find the best one I can.
22:00And what is wrong with the home that he is in right now?
22:05Greater love has no one than this.
22:08To lay down one's life for one's friends.
22:14It's obvious that you care very much about him,
22:16and it strikes me that...
22:18Nigel is already exactly where he should be.
22:21I can't get your drink from there.
22:23Eh?
22:24I can't get your drink from there.
22:25They have table service.
22:26I'll table service.
22:27I can't get your drink from there anyway.
22:29Bye.
22:32I'm not eating!
22:41I'm not eating!
22:43OK, I'm eating!
22:48Let's go.
23:17Yeah, it's me, Phil.
23:20Listen, I don't even know what time it is where you are.
23:24Jess.
23:26Listen, I've had this idea and I need you to tell me whether it's a stupid idea or not.
23:39All right, hiya.
23:40All right.
23:43It's, uh, ham and cheese.
23:45It's all simple functions.
23:49I've, uh...
23:51I've been thinking, you know, uh...
23:57about how we could make this work.
24:00Please, Phil, enough talking.
24:03Listen, if I don't say this now, then I'll never say it, all right?
24:08Listen, just, just, just hear me out.
24:11I don't know how much time you've got left, you know.
24:14None of us know that, do we?
24:16But what time you have got, you know, don't have to, don't have to be like you said, you know, people looking after you that, that don't know you.
24:23Stay here, and I'll look after you.
24:30Are you offering to be my carer?
24:33Yeah.
24:35Yeah, I suppose I am.
24:36What?
24:43I don't know, I'm, um, surprised.
24:47And I'm, I'm touched.
24:51But I can't let you do that, even if it were possible.
24:54Well, it is possible.
24:55I just spoke with Sonia.
24:55She said as long as we get some support in, we could do it.
24:58I don't want you to do that.
25:00Yeah, because you don't want to be a burden, and I, I understand that.
25:05But you ain't a burden, all right, you know.
25:10We've, we've talked before, haven't we, about, you know, what led me to the Arches that night.
25:20Well, you know, I've always, I've always had a purpose in life.
25:23Whether it was sticking a finger up to my old man, or making money, looking after my mum, looking after family.
25:31I've, I've always had a purpose, but I ain't got them things anymore.
25:34I have.
25:36I have got you.
25:39Now here, you, you be safe, you, you be looked after, and we be, you be treated with dignity.
25:46I promise you.
25:47You have no idea how bad it could get.
25:55Well, whatever comes, you know, we'll, we'll prepare for it, we'll deal with it together.
26:02And, you know, on the plus side, you get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties.
26:11This, this ain't about me saving you, this is about saving both of us.
26:17And you, you commit to staying here, I will commit to looking after you, all right?
26:26Till the end.
26:34Till the end.
26:37That's good.
26:39That's good.
26:45Here you go.
26:47Thanks.
26:51Hey, you.
26:52I'm sick.
26:55I'm sick.
26:57Thanks.
26:58Thanks.
26:58Thanks.