EastEnders 23rd April 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:26I've, er...
00:27I've checked upstairs, innit, here.
00:29You...
00:30You in here?
00:31Well, did he say anything else in the letter?
00:36It's just that, er...
00:39It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:42Listen, I've got to...
00:44I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:59Please.
01:02Please.
01:03Please.
01:04Please, don't...
01:05Don't hurt me again.
01:06Please.
01:14You, er...
01:16Have you seen Nigel?
01:17Earlier, yes.
01:18No, no, recently now.
01:19Last hour or so.
01:20Oh, what?
01:21Has something else happened?
01:22No, no, er...
01:24I just thought he might come in here.
01:25I know that he talks to you.
01:27Yes, he does.
01:28Mmm.
01:29When we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:35He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:38And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:45He's, er...
01:48He's been planning on taking his own life.
01:53Okay.
01:55You don't seem that surprised.
01:57Well, the way he was talking gave me cause of concern.
02:01Even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
02:04Yeah, well, he ain't.
02:06And now he's got missing.
02:08All right, I don't come, would you?
02:09What are you doing?
02:10I'm coming.
02:11We need to look for him.
02:12No, no, no, please.
02:13Just stay here, yeah?
02:14He might...
02:15He might walk past, see the light, and then come in here.
02:16So, please, just...
02:17Just stay here.
02:18And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:19All right.
02:20Cheers.
02:31Bill!
02:33Bill!
02:34I was talking to, er, Nigel earlier, and, er, he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:39Yeah, I got all that, but, er, did he say anything about going out tomorrow?
02:42No.
02:43Why?
02:45Later.
02:48I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:51Just saying.
02:53Phil.
02:54Have you tried calling?
02:55Yeah, of course I tried calling, but there's no answer.
02:59He's...
03:01Maybe he's done talking.
03:04You don't have to go in there, all right?
03:06I'll do it.
03:07No, no, no, no.
03:08If he's in there, this is on me.
03:11You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
03:13If...
03:14...it won't.
03:15...
03:16You don't want to set you back.
03:17It won't.
03:20Mm-hmm.
03:50It's hot now.
03:55We find him.
04:00We find him and we make sure he's what's after.
04:04You know, that night that he called the mental health people, I was...
04:10Well, I was angry.
04:12I was angry.
04:14But he did the hard thing.
04:17He was trying to look after me. I understand that.
04:22Now I'm going to do the same for him.
04:25I'm going to do the hard thing.
04:29Do what? Get him sexually?
04:32He's a danger to himself, the same as I was.
04:36It's not the same, Paul. It's not the same at all.
04:38He wants to kill himself. He wants to die, just like I did.
04:42You know, finding this note coming in here is...
04:48It's brought it all home, you know, what I...
04:51What I brought you home forever.
04:54I am sorry.
04:57Sorry.
04:59I really thought I was going to find him here, you know, I thought...
05:17I thought I was going to walk through that door and I was going to see him laying there.
05:20I thought I was going to see him laying there just like I saw my mum.
05:27Hello?
05:41Speaking.
05:44It's the hospital.
05:47Is he okay?
05:49That's such good news.
05:51Yeah, we've been really worried.
05:53They found him. He's safe.
05:55Phil.
06:06Thank God.
06:08We were worried sick.
06:10What happened?
06:12There's someone at you.
06:13I fell.
06:14Well, that's not what the nurse out there said.
06:17No, she said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged.
06:20I fell.
06:21So whatever happened there, right?
06:23It should have been me they called, not Linda.
06:26I washed my hands of you.
06:28My memory ain't what it was, but I remember that.
06:32Listen, you...
06:34You're angry with me and I don't blame you.
06:36Stop.
06:37Have they said how long you need to be in here?
06:42Well, I think I might have a...
06:47What's it called when you get a bang on the head?
06:49A concussion?
06:50A concussion, yeah.
06:51And, um...
06:52They won't let me leave on my own because of that.
06:55Good.
06:56Because if they did, you'd just wander off on your own again, wouldn't you?
07:07He's just worried.
07:08He, um...
07:09He told me what he said to you.
07:11He was angry at the thought of you hurting yourself.
07:20He won't say this because he don't know how.
07:25But he really cares about you.
07:28Do you mind leaving me now?
07:33I need to get dressed.
07:43Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about, alright?
07:45This man is a danger to himself.
07:47Phil, can I have a word?
07:48Yeah, in a minute.
07:49Now!
07:50What?
07:51What are you playing at, eh?
07:52Stopping you from making a mistake.
07:54Yes, I'm not standing by and letting another person hurt themselves.
07:58But trying to get him sectioned is not the answer.
08:01And what happened to Peggy, to you, and what's happening to Nigel now,
08:07and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story and it's not.
08:11He told me!
08:12He wants to kill himself!
08:14No, Phil!
08:15What he wants is not to get worse.
08:20Now, Shirley's mum, Sylvie, when she was at her worst,
08:23near the end,
08:26I promised myself that if that was me,
08:28I would not let it come to that.
08:30So I understand.
08:32You know, I may not like it,
08:34but I do get it.
08:36He's not depressed and in despair like you were.
08:39He is not an alcoholic like me.
08:42What he's got,
08:44you can't recover from.
08:46He is in despair.
08:51Alright.
08:52And he's frightened.
08:53What am I supposed to do?
08:54Just throw my arms up in here and walk away and let him end it all?
08:58No.
09:00Look, I don't know.
09:02Just talk to him.
09:05It's his life.
09:06I'm sorry.
09:22You know, for what I said before at the house.
09:26I suppose you scared me.
09:27So...
09:31So where was you headed tonight?
09:34Er...
09:35Well...
09:37After talking to Jean,
09:39I got worried.
09:41And, erm...
09:42I made arrangements to...
09:44rent a little park home,
09:46near the coast.
09:48Coast?
09:49You're talking about where on the coast?
09:50Kent.
09:52Erm...
09:53I don't remember the town.
09:54I've written it down somewhere.
09:56That was always the plan.
09:59Soon as I felt...
10:01I was becoming a burden,
10:03I'd go...
10:05live out the rest of my days in a...
10:08peace...
10:09by the sea.
10:11Probably should have done it sooner.
10:13But...
10:15I'd hope that...
10:17being in a familiar place,
10:19with familiar faces...
10:22might bring back the good times.
10:26Might even slow down the symptoms.
10:29And I thought I was...
10:31doing some good.
10:34You were.
10:36You...
10:37You were.
10:39But what...
10:41what you said, you know,
10:42in your note about being a burden,
10:44you...
10:45you ain't a burden to me.
10:47So come home, yeah?
10:48We can...
10:49we can...
10:50a day.
10:53I'm...
10:55What you said at the arches...
10:57about you...
10:58needing me...
10:59well...
11:01there's only the half of it.
11:08How are you feeling?
11:10Yeah, yeah, better, thank you.
11:12Well, the doctor said you can be discharged as long as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you.
11:16Is that the case?
11:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:20Um...
11:21I'm going back home, indeed.
11:23Good.
11:24Will I leave you to get your things together?
11:25Right, thank you.
11:27Sorry.
11:28I see all this stuff in the news about brain injuries and dementia.
11:32I...
11:33I just wondered, you know,
11:34could a knock to the head make the condition worse?
11:37You'd have to speak to a specialist, but...
11:40I can't think it will have helped.
11:41It's a tap.
11:42I'm going to have to...
11:43I'm going to have to get the power around it.
11:44Yeah.
11:45Do you, er...
11:46You fancy a copper?
11:47Oh, cheers, yeah.
11:48Right.
11:49Who's that?
11:50Gene.
11:51Listen, that video you made.
11:52I know why you made it.
11:53Well, now it's all out in the open.
11:54We can talk about it.
11:55You don't need it anymore.
11:56I'm going to have to...
11:57I'm going to have to...
11:58I'm going to have to get the power around it.
11:59Do you, er...
12:00Do you fancy a copper?
12:01Oh, cheers, yeah.
12:02Right.
12:03Who's that?
12:04Gene.
12:05Listen, that video you made.
12:06I know why you made it.
12:07Well, now it's all out in the open.
12:08We can talk about it.
12:09You don't need it anymore.
12:10So you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
12:11Yeah.
12:12Yeah.
12:13Right.
12:14I'll delete it.
12:15Now...
12:16I'm still master of my own...
12:18I said I'll delete it.
12:19And I'll delete it.
12:20And I'll delete it.
12:22Right.
12:23I'll delete it.
12:25Now...
12:26I'm still master of my own...
12:28I said I'll delete it.
12:29And I'll delete it.
12:30And I'll delete it.
12:31I said I'll delete it.
12:33And I'll delete it.
12:34In my own time.
12:40Back in a minute.
12:42Where you going?
12:43Er...
12:44Gene brought this round.
12:45She wants it back.
12:46What, now?
12:47That's what she says.
12:48Well, I'll drop it back.
12:50You need...
12:51You need the rest, yeah?
12:52I'll make the tea when I get back.
13:01So if you can't answer...
13:02Er...
13:03If you get...
13:04If you file the test...
13:05Then, er...
13:06You've gotta take action.
13:07While she's still game.
13:08No ifs.
13:09No buts.
13:10Fail this test.
13:11And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:14What is it?
13:15What's happened?
13:16Er...
13:17Nothing, er...
13:18Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on.
13:19But, er...
13:20Nigel went missing.
13:21And, er...
13:22Then, er...
13:23Then, er...
13:24You've gotta take action.
13:25While she's still game.
13:26No ifs.
13:27No buts.
13:28Fail this test.
13:29And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:31What is it?
13:32What's happened?
13:33Er...
13:34Nothing, er...
13:35Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on.
13:36But, er...
13:37Nigel went missing.
13:38Oh, and you found him?
13:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:40He's fine now.
13:41Well, you're right, eh?
13:42I've...
13:43I've gotta take better care of him.
13:44Anyway.
13:45Here you go.
13:46Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:47Well, he said you, er...
13:48Said you wanted a bet.
13:49How would he say that?
13:50Er...
13:51Maybe he's confused.
13:52There's been a lot of that lately.
13:53No.
13:55Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:57What?
13:58He said you, er...
13:59Said you wanted a bet.
14:00Why would he say that?
14:02Er...
14:03Maybe he's confused.
14:04There's been a lot of that lately.
14:06Thanks.
14:11Question five.
14:12Yep.
14:13In Smokey and a Bandit,
14:15the dog in Smokey and a Bandit,
14:18specially chosen by Burt Reynolds.
14:21What's his name?
14:22Or her name?
14:25Yeah.
14:30Dog.
14:31I don't know.
14:32I don't know.
14:41I don't know.
14:43I don't know.
14:44What's your game?
14:45Eh?
14:46You should never ask for this.
14:47I'm sorry.
14:48You trying to get rid of me or something?
14:49Eh?
14:50You deleted that video yet?
14:51Nigel, I don't understand.
14:52Alright?
14:53I thought we agreed you don't need it anymore.
14:54You know that things are going to get better now.
14:56They won't.
14:57They can't.
14:58That's what you don't seem to understand.
14:59Things are going to get bad.
15:00And much quicker than I thought.
15:01Where you going?
15:02Where you going?
15:03Where you going?
15:04I told you.
15:05The sea.
15:06The house.
15:07You don't need to go there anymore.
15:08Nigel, I don't understand.
15:09I thought we agreed you don't need it anymore.
15:10You know that things are going to get better now.
15:11They won't.
15:12They can't.
15:13That's what you don't seem to understand.
15:16Things are going to get bad.
15:18And much quicker than I thought.
15:20Where you going?
15:21Where you going?
15:22I told you.
15:23The sea.
15:24The house.
15:25You don't need to go there anymore, Nigel.
15:26Nigel, you don't need to go there anymore, alright?
15:29It's locked.
15:30Have you got the key?
15:33I've locked it.
15:35Nigel, I've locked it.
15:38I've locked that one, I know.
15:40You can't keep me prisoner.
15:41I'm not keeping you prisoner.
15:42I'm trying to keep you safe.
15:43No!
15:44You're doing what I'm most scared of.
15:47Taking away my decisions.
15:51Phil, please.
15:53It's time.
15:54You have to let me go.
15:55Go where?
15:56Go where?
15:57Some crappy little caravan, eh?
15:58It's a park home.
16:01This is your home, Nigel.
16:03This is your home.
16:04There's nothing you can do there that you can't do here.
16:07It'd be worse there.
16:08You'd be alone, wouldn't you?
16:10You need a place to spend the days you've got left.
16:12This, this is it.
16:17What?
16:20Nigel, I think we're a bit past the cloak and dagger stage, aren't we?
16:23If you've got anything to say, you can tell me.
16:24I'm your mate, ain't I?
16:27I failed.
16:28I failed.
16:34The, um...
16:37cognitive test I made for myself.
16:39I failed.
16:40I failed it just now.
16:41It's just...
16:42It's all right.
16:43It don't mean nothing.
16:44It means everything.
16:45It's just some stupid question.
16:46The questions that I rely on that I promised myself I'd act on before it's too late.
16:51You'll have to let me go.
16:52Listen, you're stressed, all right?
16:53You don't know apples from oranges, right?
16:55You're just taking a massive blow to the head.
16:57Yes.
16:58Which has speeded everything up like that nurse said.
17:01No, she never said that.
17:02Something has changed.
17:05Nothing changes that quickly, Nigel.
17:07All right now?
17:08Now just park yourself up because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense.
17:12I am seeing sense.
17:14That's the whole point.
17:16But in a week, a month, I might not remember.
17:21I might not even care.
17:23Then what does it matter, eh?
17:24What does it matter?
17:28Because I care now.
17:33And...
17:35I want this, Nigel, to make the decisions.
17:41This, me.
17:46Have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold?
18:00It's not...
18:01It's not just a case of having a dodgy memory.
18:03It's, um...
18:04It's just not being able to walk, or wash myself, or even wipe me on the backside.
18:09Sitting in some home, being fed like a child by someone I don't even know.
18:22I don't want to die like that.
18:27I want to be me.
18:30Right to the end.
18:31I want to die.
18:36Now, do you understand?
18:46Phil?
18:50Phil.
18:55Phil...
18:56you should uh you should call julie tell her what you're planning because that's the least you can
19:03do no i i don't want that for her i didn't want this for you never want there to be a burden
19:14weren't you listening back at the hospital right you ain't a burden all right you never were you
19:21never could be because because you you saved me anyone would have done what i did that no not that
19:29night not just there here in this house every day since i left the unit you you've saved me night
19:37fred the name of the basset ann in smoky and the bandit i remembered fred
19:49i was about to do it i would have i would have done it oh my god
20:01no
20:04a while ago i i spent the best part of the year thinking i was 59 actually i was i was 58
20:14no dementia or no dementia we all we all forget things we all make mistakes doesn't change things
20:22really this uh this disease is going to beat me in the end nige nige we all get beaten in the end
20:30you know you're you're worried about your your future but the future that you imagined it don't
20:38have to go down like that now i will do everything i can to change things so that you feel like that
20:46you're in control yeah and if you know when the time comes for you to move on you don't have to live
20:55in some boxy little shoebox no there's places you can go good good places full of good people kind
21:03respecting caring people that will look after you just just think about it yeah
21:17you
21:27you
21:29you
21:31you
21:33you
21:35you
21:37you
21:39you
21:41I'll have a couple of cheese and a toastie for me.
21:43Oh, I saw you as I was leaving the library.
21:46Did you find him?
21:47Yeah.
21:49How is he?
21:50Well, he's safe, at least,
21:52but I think the rest is going to take time.
21:55Yeah.
21:56He's lucky to have a friend like you.
21:58I don't know about that.
22:00Well, he's just about having a mistake in the book today,
22:01but, well, I think we might have turned the corner.
22:05So what next?
22:06He don't like the look of what's coming down the line.
22:08I can't say I blame him, but...
22:10Well, I'm going to look into some care homes.
22:13Try and find him the best one I can.
22:15And what is wrong with the home that he is in right now?
22:19Greater love has no one than this.
22:24To lay down one's life for one's friends.
22:29It's obvious that you care very much about him,
22:31and it strikes me that Nigel is already exactly where he should be.
22:36I can't get you drunk from there.
22:38Huh?
22:38I can't get you drunk from there.
22:39Never taking my service.
22:41I can't get you drunk anymore.
22:43Hu.
22:43Hu.
22:44Hu.
22:44Hu.
22:46Hu.
22:47Hu.
22:50Hu.
22:50Hu.
22:51Hu.
22:52Hu.
22:53Hu.
22:54Hu.
22:55Hu.
22:55Hu.
22:58Hu.
22:58Hu
23:03Hu.
23:04Hu.
23:04Hu.
23:05Hu.
23:06Hu.
23:06Hu.
23:07Sonia, it's me, Phil.
23:34Listen, I don't even know what time it is where you are.
23:39Jess, listen, I've had this idea and I need you to tell me whether it's a stupid idea or not.
23:53All right, hiya.
23:55All right.
23:57It's a hammer and cheese.
24:01Simple potions.
24:04I've been thinking, you know, about how we could make this work.
24:14Please, Phil, enough talking.
24:17Listen, if I don't say this now, then I'll never say it, all right?
24:22So just, just, just hear me out.
24:25I don't know how much time you've got left, you know.
24:28None of us know that, do we?
24:30But what time you have got, you know, don't have to, don't have to be like you said.
24:34You know, people looking after you that, that don't know you.
24:38Stay here and how do I look after you?
24:44Are you offering to be my carer?
24:47Yeah.
24:48Yeah, I suppose I am.
24:51What?
24:52I don't know, I'm, erm, surprised.
25:01And I'm, I'm touched.
25:04But I can't let you do that, even if it were possible.
25:08Well, it is possible.
25:09I just spoke with Sonia.
25:10She said, as long as we get some support in, we could do it.
25:13I don't want you to do that.
25:15Yeah, because you don't want to be a burden.
25:17And I, I understand that.
25:19But you ain't a burden, all right?
25:22You know, we've, we've talked before, haven't we, about, you know,
25:29what led me to the Arches that night.
25:34And, well, you know, I've always, I've always had a purpose in life.
25:38Whether it was sticking a finger up to my old man or making money,
25:43looking after my mum, looking after family.
25:45I've, I've always had a purpose.
25:46But I ain't got them things anymore.
25:48But I have, I have got you.
25:52Now here, you'll, you'll be safe.
25:55You'll, you'll be looked after.
25:57And we'll be, you'll be treated with dignity.
26:00I promise you.
26:06You have no idea how bad it could get.
26:09Well, whatever comes, you know, we'll, we'll prepare for it.
26:13We'll deal with it together.
26:14And, you know, on the plus side, you get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties.
26:26This, this ain't about me saving you.
26:28This is about saving both of us.
26:30Both of us.
26:31And you, you commit to staying here.
26:35I will commit to looking after you.
26:39Right?
26:41Till the end.
26:49Till the end.
26:52That's good.
26:54That's good.
27:00There you go.
27:15Details of organisations offering information and support with dementia, mental health or feelings of despair are available on the Action Line pages of the BBC website.