EastEnders 22nd April 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:27No ifs. No buts. Fail this test. And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
00:38Enough gloom and doom. It's Christmas, after all. So, right, let's start.
00:46In Night of the Living Dead, what substance did they use to make fake blood? Come on, you know this one.
00:57In Smokey and Abundant. All right, cheers. I was just coming to find them.
01:02What is this, eh? What is this? Some sort of sick joke. It's just a precaution.
01:06No, it ain't a precaution, I tell you. It's you. You planning to kill yourself.
01:18Folks just sat there watching cartoons on a tablet. Won't talk about it.
01:22Because she's watching cartoons.
01:24Are you worried? A man she hardly knows just trying to drag her off down the street.
01:28She could be, you know, emotionally damaged.
01:30She is emotionally damaged. Her dad died.
01:33What happened with Nigel is small potatoes in comparison.
01:36Fine. If you think it's nothing, then I guess it's nothing.
01:38No, I'm not saying it's nothing, Harvey.
01:40But what happened isn't his fault.
01:43And I'm not going to demonise him.
01:44And I don't want the kids in the house to do that either.
01:48He's sick.
01:49And he needs compassion and support.
01:52You should know that.
02:07Look, I know this must be a shock for you, but...
02:12What you saw, the video, don't mean I'm actually planning to do something.
02:19You're going to have to kill yourself, old pal.
02:22That, that is what you said.
02:24Only if I fail the test, but maybe I won't.
02:27Maybe your cooking will do for me first.
02:30I'm scared, Phil.
02:44I'm scared of losing myself.
02:48Of...
02:48...becoming different.
02:50And more than that, I'm scared that I won't even notice.
02:59This makes me feel less scared.
03:01It means that every, every now and then I can, I can do this cognitive test.
03:07You know, when I feel worse or have a bad day, like today.
03:12And check that I'm okay.
03:18And what if you ain't?
03:20What if you ain't?
03:20You're talking about killing yourself because you can't answer one poxy question.
03:23It's almost like you want to do it.
03:25No, no, of course I don't.
03:27But these are facts that I know off the top of my head, or should do, if I'm of sound mind.
03:35I'm not saying I'd, I'd, I'd do it straight away, but I, I would start making preparations.
03:44Yeah, to kill yourself.
03:46To kill yourself.
03:46We'll call it what it is, yeah?
03:50I know how hard this must be for you.
03:54What you went through in the arches and before with your mum.
03:59No, I don't.
04:01No, I don't.
04:03Just don't talk about her.
04:04Now, you said this, this video was made at Christmas.
04:09So all that stuff you said in the arches that night, telling me to keep going.
04:13Because life, life was worth living, I should keep fighting.
04:16You didn't, you didn't believe a word of it, did you?
04:18I meant every single word.
04:19How could you, when you was already planned?
04:21Our situations aren't the same.
04:24There's no getting better for me.
04:26All right, well, in that case, why don't you just top yourself, right?
04:29Why don't you just stop yourself and get it over and done with you?
04:32You are a hypocrite.
04:35Do you know that?
04:36You're a hypocrite.
04:37And I'll wash me hands here.
04:39Have you got an interview?
04:58I've just had a phone call from the mayor's office.
05:02They want a photo up at Paradise Park.
05:05Me and the mayor, breaking ground.
05:08Look, Nick, I know you've had some reservations about the job.
05:12Because of Dartford and Harry.
05:15But that is all behind us.
05:16And this, this is going to be massive for us.
05:18Yeah, of course.
05:23Let's just hope it goes ahead, eh?
05:25Because these things, they have a tendency of falling through.
05:28Well, we start work later this week.
05:30This week?
05:32Yeah.
05:32Why wait?
05:33Junior's got the groundwork's team in place.
05:35The plants are on site.
05:37And Ross, well, he's as keen as mustard.
05:38He's already started hiring fellas.
05:40Everything's ready to go.
05:41Are you OK?
05:43Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:45I've just got an headache, that's all.
05:47Look, like I said, I know you've had your doubts about the whole thing.
05:51But, well, your support means everything to me.
05:56I'll tell you what, why don't you go and get your glad bags on and come with me?
05:59Be a much better photo with you, innit?
06:01Nah, like I said, I've got an headache.
06:04All right, no worries.
06:05I'll send you a pic.
06:06Me and the mayor.
06:08Spades in the ground.
06:10See you, babe.
06:11I'm just about to nip out of it to the Vic.
06:25See how they're getting on.
06:27You're about to come in and see how your room is?
06:29I don't want to go back to the back to Vic.
06:33Well, come on, mate.
06:35You know we couldn't stay here forever.
06:37It's going to be fun at the Vic.
06:38You know, there's fresh paint.
06:41Squishy carpets.
06:42I don't care about squishy carpets.
06:45I like the carpets here.
06:47It's too noisy in the Vic.
06:48I want to stay here.
06:50You can't.
06:51I mean, this isn't our home.
06:53People and Lauren are going to be moving in with their new baby, so...
06:57So I can live on my own.
06:59No.
06:59I mean, you're family, so you belong with us.
07:06But I'll take into consideration everything you said and try and make sure it's an environment that's comfortable for you.
07:13All right?
07:14I promise.
07:15I promise.
07:24Told you.
07:25He won't listen.
07:27Well, maybe you'll listen to me.
07:28I know it's last minute, but I was thinking we could hire a singer.
07:33Like a tribute act thing.
07:35I've seen this Cher woman on Insta.
07:37Mum loves a bit of Cher, doesn't she?
07:39She's North London-based, but I reckon she'd come east if we chuck her a few extra quid.
07:43You're thinking about her, aren't you?
07:48Who?
07:49Mum.
07:50Avani.
07:52Dare to tell me you two are hanging out.
07:54Her old man's a nutter, but she seems all right.
07:56You should get in there.
07:58Get in there?
07:59Yeah, ask her out.
08:00What have you got to lose?
08:02My pride and our friendship.
08:05Friendship.
08:06I'm not being funny, Barn, but that's just what blokes call it when they ain't getting any.
08:09God, you are so un-involved.
08:15She is my friend.
08:17Like, today, she said that I made her feel normal for the first time in ages.
08:21That's friendship.
08:22No.
08:23That's tragic, is what that is.
08:26Seriously, Barn, if you like her, and I know you like her,
08:31why do you want to just make her feel normal?
08:33It was a compliment.
08:34She'd been through a lot.
08:35Yeah, and you've been there for her, and you've been a good friend,
08:38and yada, yada, yada.
08:40But come on, Barn.
08:42Why are you just settling for being her mate?
08:44You fancy her?
08:46So ask her out.
08:58I'm sorry.
08:58Now, that's something I haven't heard in a while.
09:03What are you doing here?
09:04Avoiding home, ignoring my messages.
09:07How else am I meant to check my little girl's okay?
09:09And I'm fine, Dad.
09:12Look at you.
09:14Smiling and everything.
09:15Yeah, because I've just seen Barney.
09:18It made me feel a bit more like myself, I guess, so.
09:24Come here.
09:24You know I'm proud of you, right?
09:36Dad?
09:37Mm.
09:39Is this, like, a moment?
09:43Is this something that I'm going to look back on years from now,
09:47and you're dead, and you're gone?
09:49It's a moment, but it ain't all that.
09:55Now you're feeling more like yourself,
09:57why don't we celebrate?
09:59We could go on a trip,
10:01get you away from here.
10:04What?
10:05Like, a foreign holiday?
10:09Yeah, we could, um...
10:11Yeah, we could go on a short holiday.
10:13Yeah?
10:14A holiday?
10:15A short break.
10:16OK.
10:17Oh, I'm excited.
10:18You could have a think.
10:19No, you're going to have to buy me new dresses.
10:21I'm going to need skirts, a bikini.
10:24Do you know what?
10:24Yeah, you're right.
10:25Let me have a think.
10:30So I was just passing,
10:32and I thought I'd pop in and see how you are.
10:37I'm fine.
10:39So how's Hope?
10:40Oh, she's fine.
10:42Water for duck's back.
10:46If you want me to go, just tell me to hop here.
10:49Oh, nope, sorry.
10:50Easter puns on the brains for kids.
10:53Yeah, it's an exciting day for them.
10:56Yeah, we've had that one a few times as well.
10:58Oh.
10:59Yeah.
11:00So, um, I actually came round to give you this,
11:03cos you said you loved horror films.
11:06Oh, Night of the Living Dead is one of my faves.
11:08Oh, well, there you go, then.
11:10I was thinking about it just today.
11:12There's a scene in it where the, um,
11:15the zombies are eating bodies in the back of a burnt-out truck,
11:18but actually they use roast ham smothered in chocolate sauce.
11:24I like ham.
11:25And chocolate.
11:28Well, we could put it on there, if you like.
11:31Do you know, um...
11:32That would be lovely.
11:35Oh.
11:35If Kojo feels that he's ready to live alone,
11:39then we owe it to him to explore that, don't we?
11:42Even if he was ready.
11:45Renting is expensive,
11:46and we haven't made any income for months.
11:49I will find a job.
11:50Yeah, exactly.
11:51And it doesn't have to be a big place.
11:54He just...
11:55He wants to be in control of his environment.
11:57I want my own front door.
11:59Yeah.
12:01Having your own front door isn't everything, you know.
12:04Being safe is really important.
12:06And the promise I made Cobb and I, I take very seriously.
12:09It's my job.
12:11To make sure you're OK.
12:14You think I'm a child?
12:16I'm not a child.
12:18I'm a man.
12:19And that will prove it.
12:24Hey, Jo?
12:25Everything all right?
12:27My own front door.
12:28Like this front door.
12:32I'm sorry about that.
12:33But I really should go after him.
12:34I mean, have a night if you like.
12:37Oh, no, sir.
12:38Linda, I want to see you.
12:39You got a minute?
12:40Yeah, of course.
12:41Stick the kettle on, shall I?
12:42Are you even listening to me?
12:50Yeah.
12:51So, there's this girl that I follow, right?
12:52And she went to this hotel resort type thing in Marbella.
12:55Mm-hmm.
12:55Beautiful pool, lovely food.
12:57And you could do all of these trips.
12:59Like, you could swim with dolphins.
13:00You could even go on a sunset cruise.
13:02Yeah.
13:02And do you know what else you...
13:03Oh, Varnie, yeah, that all sounds great.
13:04But when I was thinking about a short trip,
13:07I wasn't actually thinking about, you know,
13:09jumping on a plane.
13:11Oh.
13:12So then what was she thinking?
13:14I don't know.
13:14Maybe a trip to Bournemouth or something.
13:18Bournemouth?
13:19Dad.
13:22Where have you been?
13:24Now, I've left you about half a dozen messages.
13:27I don't care what you've been up to.
13:29If I leave you a message, you call me back.
13:33Harry's Barn.
13:34One hour.
13:35Dad, you told me to think about a holiday.
13:37No, I said a short break.
13:38Yeah, of my heart.
13:42Varnie.
13:44Varnie, I just don't have the money for that kind of...
13:47thing right now.
13:49I don't really know why I'm here.
14:00Here in this kitchen or here on this planet?
14:03Just so I know what kind of chat we're in for.
14:08I think you know you can tell me anything
14:11after what we've been through together.
14:16Is this about Nigel?
14:17I heard what happened out there.
14:20It's about him, yeah.
14:21It's about...
14:22It's about my mum.
14:23It's about me.
14:23It's about...
14:24What happened to me.
14:26It's...
14:27He's been a big support to you, hasn't he?
14:34And after today, you're starting to see what?
14:36That he's declining.
14:39I'm starting to imagine him not being there.
14:43How this might end.
14:44I know.
14:45I know it's going to end.
14:46He told me.
14:50He's making plans to kill himself.
14:53We'll be all right here.
15:01We'll be all right here until someone comes to rescue us.
15:03But we'll have to work together.
15:04You'll have to help me.
15:05Now, I want you to go in and get some wood
15:07so I can boil the place up.
15:08Do you understand?
15:10Okay?
15:12Oh, you don't have to watch it if you don't want to.
15:14No, no, no.
15:15It was nice having a distraction.
15:18And nothing distracts like a...
15:20Like a zombie child eating her dad.
15:25Um, thank you for coming.
15:30Sitting with me, I appreciate it.
15:34I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself, if I'm honest.
15:39I'll stay with you till Phil comes back.
15:44Do you know where he's gone?
15:48Hmm.
15:50Have you and Phil had a row?
15:54Oh, I hope he wasn't cross with you about what happened.
15:56He should know that it wasn't your fault.
15:58It's difficult sometimes, you know, Phil.
16:01Dealing with something like this for everyone, it's not his fault.
16:05No, but I would expect him to be supporting you.
16:10You know, like I said before, if you ever need anyone to talk to,
16:14because I do know what it feels like to, you know,
16:16feel that you're a burden to your friends and family.
16:19I mean, there are times when I felt my illness was crushing the people closest to me,
16:25so I do understand.
16:27And you'll never be a burden to me.
16:29I never wanted to be a burden to anyone.
16:31And as soon as I was diagnosed, that was my primary thought.
16:37I, I, that's why I, I, I walked away from, from,
16:44from, I didn't want to drag anyone down.
16:49I don't want to drag anyone down.
16:55Do you feel like you're dragging Phil down?
16:59Because believe you me, many people have tried,
17:03but Phil Mitchell is tough as old boots.
17:05Are you okay?
17:19Yeah, I'm fine.
17:23Um, it's just, today.
17:27I, I'm tired.
17:32Of course, yes.
17:35I'll make myself scarce.
17:37And then you can rest.
17:41Jean,
17:42thank you
17:44for everything.
17:46You told him to get on with it?
18:01I'm not proud of it, all right?
18:02How could you even think to say something like that?
18:04I wasn't thinking straight, I wasn't thinking at all, all right?
18:07I just,
18:08I suppose it hit a nerve, it hit a couple of nerves, if I'm honest.
18:13It's, it's, it's...
18:15But,
18:15I think about her,
18:19that night at the Arches.
18:20Probably think about it more than I should,
18:22but I think about what you said,
18:23and I, I think about what he said to me,
18:25you know, that he needed me to be alive,
18:28to help him get through this.
18:30And he does.
18:32But he's not even going to try it,
18:33which, which makes a mockery of what he said before,
18:36because I, I, I took him seriously.
18:40But later on, late morning,
18:41in, um, in the mental health unit,
18:44I told myself that I would be there for him to,
18:47to help him get through it, you know?
18:49He gave me, he gave me something to hold on to,
18:51and I, I made him a promise,
18:54you know, in my head,
18:55a, a, a vow.
19:01And you feel let down.
19:04He's not trying to hurt you,
19:06he's just scared.
19:07Think about the people
19:09left behind.
19:14That's what you said to me
19:15that night at the Arches.
19:17Think about my family.
19:21And I'm, I'm,
19:22I'm all the family he's got.
19:24And I don't,
19:24I don't want him gone,
19:25just like,
19:26just like I didn't want my mum gone,
19:29and I think that's why,
19:30that's why he hit me like a dip,
19:33because, you know,
19:35what he told me,
19:38there I was,
19:38in the same house,
19:40in the same chair that I was
19:41nine years earlier,
19:42watching some boxy film,
19:43while all the time,
19:44my mum's upstairs,
19:45alone,
19:47and dead,
19:48and in her bed.
19:49And I let her,
19:53I let her down.
19:56I let her down,
19:57because I let her die alone.
20:01And part of me blamed myself,
20:03and part of me,
20:04part of me blamed her,
20:08for leaving me alone.
20:13And there he is,
20:15in that same house.
20:16Why did you come here today,
20:25Phil?
20:27I don't know,
20:27just,
20:30trying,
20:31trying to understand this,
20:32I don't know,
20:33just,
20:35to talk.
20:36And I,
20:37I'm glad you did.
20:40But you know,
20:43there's someone else,
20:44you really need to be talking to.
20:46I mean,
20:51why would anyone,
20:52tell someone to think about something,
20:53that they really want,
20:55just to tell them that they can't have it?
20:57It just makes no sense.
20:59Hey look,
21:00fair enough,
21:00maybe a week in Marbs,
21:01was a bit too much,
21:02but,
21:03I don't know,
21:04I just feel like I'm getting my mojo back,
21:06and I fancy,
21:07going somewhere fun.
21:08I mean,
21:09you could,
21:10come to my mum's party tomorrow,
21:11if you like.
21:12I don't really know how much fun that'll be,
21:15just me and my family and stuff.
21:18So,
21:19it would be me and you,
21:20watching a load of old people get drunk,
21:23and dance terribly.
21:26Yeah,
21:26yeah,
21:27that's pretty much it.
21:30Well,
21:30I could do with a laugh.
21:31I'm in.
21:34Yeah?
21:34Yeah.
21:35I'll see you later.
21:36Yeah,
21:36alright,
21:37I'll see you later.
21:43You took your time.
21:44I'll take a beer here,
21:46gorgeous.
21:46Slap round the head,
21:47if you don't change your tongue.
21:49So,
21:50why am I here?
21:53Do you remember telling me,
21:54that Paradise Park wouldn't be dug up?
21:57They sold it for housing.
21:59They start digging later this week.
22:04Oh,
22:05I'm glad you're smiling.
22:07I need to move the body.
22:11You killed her.
22:13Not me.
22:15This ain't my problem.
22:16Oh,
22:17I think you'll find it is your problem.
22:21You buried her.
22:22You upped your eyeballs, mate.
22:25If they find her,
22:27they'll come for you.
22:29Nah,
22:29I don't think so.
22:31Do you remember that diamond bracelet
22:34you lost way back?
22:37You didn't lose it.
22:39I needed some insurance
22:40just in case you've tried
22:41to pin everything on me.
22:44It's buried with the body,
22:46and if they find her,
22:48they find it,
22:49and then they find you.
22:56Right.
22:56Either you help me,
23:01or I'll take you down with me.
23:02I will tell them everything.
23:04Yeah,
23:05knock yourself out.
23:07No sign that I was ever there,
23:08is there?
23:09No motive.
23:10Nothing.
23:12So,
23:13dollar,
23:17fane,
23:18cow-cow.
23:20What three words?
23:21That's where she is.
23:23I'd crack on if I were you.
23:25I'd crack on if I were you.
23:26I'd crack on if I'm not a jerk.
23:26Get out of here.
23:26Get out of here.
23:27Go.
23:27Go.
23:28Go.
23:28Go.
23:28Go.
23:29Go.
23:29Go.
23:30Go.
23:30Go.
23:30Go.
23:30Go.
23:31Go.
23:31Go.
23:44Go.
23:44Go.
23:45Go.
23:45Go.
23:46Poxy thing.
23:46How long have you been stood there?
23:49I don't know.
23:50I wasn't timing myself.
23:52Right, what can I do for you?
23:54I want you to give me a job.
23:56Oh, right.
23:57What, so you just walk in here and ask for a job?
23:59How can I get a job if I didn't ask?
24:02Yeah, fair point.
24:04Do you know anything about cars?
24:06I know everything about cars.
24:08Back in Ghana, I used to pay cars for my uncle's car business.
24:13Now I need a job so I can make money to pay for a flat
24:17and show Kwame that I'm independent.
24:19Well, that's good motivation right there.
24:21If we need anyone, I'll be in touch.
24:24How will you be in touch?
24:26I don't know, I'll come round your house and knock.
24:30Right, well, I'll wait for your knock.
24:33Good luck fixing that alternator, mate.
24:36No, mate, it's the start of my lap.
24:38Where you try and turn it over, multiple clicks, alternator.
24:46Now why didn't I think of that?
24:48Maybe it's because you're not as good with cars as I am.
24:54Do you know what?
24:55I'm going to be run off my feet tomorrow.
24:57You fancy helping me out?
24:58Time for a quick chat.
24:59Really?
25:00Why?
25:01I couldn't help hearing what you said before.
25:02Outside with your daughter.
25:03Hey, look, there's no need to be embarrassed, you know.
25:08It's tough times for everyone right now.
25:09I might know where you can make a little extra cash if you want.
25:14I thought you got out of a drug game.
25:15I did.
25:16Don't touch drugs no more.
25:17Don't touch drugs no more.
25:18This is just a little job that I can't do on my own.
25:23A big, strong man like you.
25:24Well, you wouldn't break a sweat.
25:25Well, you wouldn't break a sweat.
25:26I'm sorry.
25:27I'm sorry.
25:28I'm sorry.
25:29I'm sorry.
25:30I'm sorry.
25:31I'm sorry.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:33You're sorry.
25:34I'm sorry.
25:35I'm sorry.
25:36I'm sorry.
25:37I'm sorry.
25:38I don't touch drugs no more.
25:43This is just a little job that I can't do on my own.
25:48A big, strong man like you.
25:49Well, you wouldn't break a sweat.
25:53Suit yourself.
25:55You know where I am if you change your mind.
26:01Oh, my God.
26:02Yeah, and it was not a thing.
26:03It was a good one.
26:04It was a good one.
26:05It was a good one.
26:24Knowledge!
26:31Knowledge!
27:01Knowledge!
27:06Knowledge!
27:15Nigel!
27:19Knowledge!
27:24Knowledge!
27:27Homeless loser, innit?
27:39Not what?
27:40Homeless or a loser?
27:42What's in the bag?
27:43Let go!
27:45Let go!
27:51It's a great storm.
27:57Details of organisations offering information and support with dementia, mental health or feelings of despair are available on the Action Line pages of the BBC website.
28:27We'll see you next time.