EastEnders 23rd Apr 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00I've... I've checked upstairs and he... he ain't here.
00:16Did he say anything else in the letter?
00:21It's just that, er...
00:24It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:27Listen, I've got to...
00:29I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:46Please...
00:48Please...
00:49Please don't... don't hurt me again.
00:52Please.
00:57You, er...
01:01See Nigel?
01:02Earlier, yes.
01:03No, no, recently now. Last hour or so.
01:05Oh, what? Has something else happened?
01:07No, no, er...
01:09I just thought he might come in here. I know that he talks to you.
01:12Yes, it does.
01:16When we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:20He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:24And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:27He's, er...
01:29He's been planning on taking his own life.
01:37Okay.
01:39You don't seem that surprised.
01:42Well, the way he was talking gave me cause of concern, even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
01:49Yeah, well, he ain't. And now he's got missing.
01:53Alright, I don't come with you.
01:55What are you doing?
01:56I'm coming. We need to look for him.
01:57No, no, no, please. Just stay here, yeah?
01:59He might... he might walk past, see the light, and then come in here.
02:01So, please, just... just stay here.
02:03And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:05Alright.
02:06Cheers.
02:07Phil! Phil!
02:18Oh!
02:19I was talking to, er, Nigel earlier, and, er, he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:24He had a gold act, but, er, did he say anything about going out tonight?
02:27No. Why?
02:30Later.
02:33I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:36Just saying.
02:38Phil?
02:42Have you tried calling?
02:43Yeah, of course I tried calling, but there's no answer.
02:45He's...
02:47Maybe he's done talking.
02:50You don't have to go in there, alright? I'll do it.
02:52No, no, no, no.
02:53If he's in there, this is on me.
02:56You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
02:59It won't.
03:06Okay.
03:21Oh...
03:23It's hot now.
03:44We find him.
03:46We find him and we make sure he's on top of that.
03:49You know, that night that he called the mental health people, I was angry.
03:58I was angry.
04:00He did the odd thing.
04:04He was trying to look after me. I understand that.
04:08Now, I'm going to do the same for him.
04:12I'm going to do the odd thing.
04:15And do what? Get him sectioned?
04:18He's a danger.
04:19To himself. The same as I was.
04:21It's not the same, Paul. It's not the same at all.
04:23He wants to kill himself. He wants to die.
04:25Just like I did.
04:30Finding his note coming in here is probably all that.
04:35You know, what I...
04:36What I've brought you all forever long.
04:41I am sorry.
04:43Sorry.
04:44I really thought I was going to find him there, you know, I thought I thought I was going to walk through that door and I was going to see him laying there.
05:05I thought I was going to see him laying there just like I saw my mum.
05:11I thought I was going to walk through that door.
05:15I thought I was going to see him laying there just like I saw him here and I thought I was going to see him there.
05:17Hello, speaking, it's the hospital, is he okay?
05:33That's such good news, we've been really worried, I found him, he's safe.
05:47Thank God, we were worried sick.
05:55What happened? There's someone at you?
05:58I fell.
05:59Well that's not what the nurse out there said.
06:02She said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged.
06:04I fell.
06:06So whatever happened, it should have been me they caught, not Linda.
06:10I washed my hands of you. My memory ain't what it was, but I remember that.
06:16Listen, you're angry with me and I don't blame you.
06:20Stop.
06:21Have they said how long you need to be in here?
06:26Well, I think I might have a...
06:30What's it called when you get a bang on the head?
06:33A concussion?
06:34A concussion, yeah.
06:35I won't let you leave on my own because of that.
06:39Good.
06:40Because if they did it, you'd just wander off on your own again, wouldn't you?
06:45He's just worried.
06:52He, um, he told me what he said to you.
06:56He was angry at the thought of you hurting yourself.
07:02He won't say this because he don't know how.
07:09But he really cares about you.
07:13Do you mind leaving me now? I need to get dressed.
07:19Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about, alright?
07:30This man is a danger to himself.
07:32Phil, can I have a word?
07:33Yeah, in a minute.
07:34Stop.
07:35Wait.
07:36What are you playing at, eh?
07:37Stopping you from making a mistake.
07:39It's going to be standing by and letting another person hurt themselves.
07:43But trying to get him sectioned is not the answer.
07:46And what happened to Peggy, to you, and what's happening to Nigel now,
07:51and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story and it's not.
07:55He told me he wants to kill himself.
07:58No, Phil.
07:59What he wants is not to get worse.
08:04You know, Shirley's mum, Sylvie, when she was at her worst near the end,
08:10I promised myself that if that was me, I would not let it come to that.
08:15So I understand.
08:16You know, I may not like it, but I do get it.
08:20He's not depressed and in despair like you were.
08:24He's not an alcoholic like me.
08:26What he's got, you can't recover from.
08:33He is in despair, alright?
08:36And he's frightened.
08:37What am I supposed to do?
08:38Just throw my arms up in here and walk away and let him end it all?
08:42No.
08:44Look, I don't know.
08:46Just talk to him.
08:49It's his life.
08:54I'm sorry.
08:55You know, for what I said before at the house.
09:09I suppose you scared me.
09:11I suppose you scared me.
09:12It's...
09:15So where was you headed tonight?
09:19Er...
09:20Well...
09:21After talking to Gene, I got worried.
09:25And, erm...
09:26I made arrangements to...
09:29rent a little park home near the coast.
09:32Coast?
09:33Where...
09:34Where on the coast?
09:35Kent.
09:36Erm...
09:37I forget.
09:38I can't remember the town.
09:39I've written it down somewhere.
09:40That was always the plan.
09:44Soon as I felt I was becoming a burden,
09:48I'd go live out the rest of my days in a piece by the sea.
09:54Probably should have done it sooner, but...
09:58I'd hope that...
10:01Being in a familiar place with familiar faces...
10:06Might bring back the good times.
10:09Might even slow down the symptoms.
10:13And I thought I was doing some good.
10:16You were.
10:19You...
10:21You were.
10:23But what...
10:25What you said, you know...
10:26In your note about being a burden...
10:28You...
10:29You ain't a burden to me.
10:31So come home, yeah?
10:32We can...
10:33We can...
10:34Take you day by day.
10:37And, erm...
10:39What you said at the arches...
10:41About you...
10:43Needing me, well...
10:45There's only the half of it.
10:52How are you feeling?
10:54Yeah, yeah, better, thank you.
10:56Well, the doctor said you can be discharged...
10:57As long as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you.
11:00Is that the case?
11:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:04Erm...
11:05I'm going back home in here.
11:07Good.
11:08Will I leave you to get your things together?
11:09Right, thank you.
11:11Sorry, erm...
11:12You see all this stuff in the news about...
11:14Brain injuries and dementia.
11:16I...
11:17I just wondered...
11:18You know...
11:19Could a knock to the head make the condition worse?
11:22You'd have to speak to a specialist, but...
11:24I can't think it will have helped.
11:25It's a tap.
11:26I'm going to have to...
11:27I'm going to have to...
11:28I'm going to have to get a plumber around here.
11:32You, er...
11:33You want to see a copper?
11:34Oh, cheers, yeah.
11:35Right.
11:36Who's that?
11:37Gene.
11:38Listen, that video you made...
11:39I know why you made it.
11:40Well, now it's all out in the open.
11:41We can talk about it.
11:42You don't need it anymore, so you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
11:44Yeah, yeah.
11:45Right.
11:46I'll delete it.
11:47Now...
11:48Now...
11:49Oh, you can see a copper?
11:50Oh, cheers, yeah.
11:51Right.
11:52Who's that?
11:53Gene.
11:54Listen, that video you made...
11:55I know why you made it.
11:56Well, now it's all out in the open.
11:57We can talk about it.
11:58You don't need it anymore, so you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
12:01Yeah, yeah.
12:02Right.
12:03I'll delete it.
12:04Now...
12:05I'm still master of my own...
12:07I said I'll delete it.
12:08And I'll delete it.
12:10In my own time.
12:11Back in a minute.
12:12Do you go ahead?
12:13Uh...
12:14Gene brought this round.
12:15She wants it back.
12:16What?
12:17No.
12:18No.
12:19No.
12:20No.
12:21No.
12:22No.
12:23No.
12:24No.
12:25No.
12:26No.
12:27No.
12:28No.
12:29No.
12:30No.
12:31No.
12:32That's what she says.
12:34Well, I'll drop it back.
12:35You need...
12:36You need the rest, yeah?
12:37I'll make the tea when I get back.
12:52So if you can't answer...
12:54Uh...
12:55If you get...
12:56If you file the test...
12:58Then, uh...
13:00You've got to take action...
13:02Whilst you still came...
13:04No ifs...
13:06No buts...
13:07Fail this test...
13:10And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:13What is it?
13:14What's happened?
13:15Uh...
13:16Nothing, uh...
13:17Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on...
13:18But, uh...
13:19Nigel went missing.
13:20Oh, and you found him?
13:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22He's fine now.
13:23Well, you're right, eh?
13:24Yeah, I've...
13:25I've got to take better care of him.
13:26Anyway...
13:27Here you go.
13:28Oh, and you found him?
13:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:30He's fine now.
13:31Well, you're right, eh?
13:32Yeah, I've...
13:33I've got to take better care of him.
13:36Anyway...
13:37Here you go.
13:38Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:40What?
13:41You said you, uh...
13:42You said you wanted a bet?
13:44How would he say that?
13:46Oh, maybe he's confused.
13:48There's been a lot of that lately.
13:50Thanks.
13:51Question five.
13:52Yeah.
13:53In Smokey and a Bandit, the dog in Smokey and a Bandit, specially chosen by Burt Reynolds,
14:05what's his name?
14:06Or her name?
14:08Yeah.
14:09Dog.
14:14Dog.
14:15Dog.
14:16Dog.
14:21Dog.
14:22Dog.
14:23Dog.
14:24Dog.
14:25Dog.
14:26Dog.
14:27Dog.
14:28Dog.
14:29Dog.
14:30Dog.
14:31Dog.
14:32Dog.
14:33Dog.
14:34Dog.
14:35Dog.
14:36Dog.
14:37Dog.
14:38Dog.
14:39Dog.
14:40Dog.
14:41Dog.
14:42Dog.
14:43Dog.
14:44Dog.
14:45Dog.
14:46Dog.
14:47Dog.
14:48Dog.
14:49Dog.
14:50Dog.
14:51You know that things are gonna get better now.
14:54They won't. They can't.
14:57That's what you don't seem to understand.
15:00Things are gonna get bad.
15:02And much quicker than I thought.
15:04Where are you going? Where are you going?
15:06I told you. The sea. The house.
15:08You don't need to go there anymore, Marge.
15:10Marge, you don't need to go there anymore, all right?
15:15It's locked. Have you got the key?
15:19I've locked it.
15:21Nigel, I've locked that one another.
15:24You can't keep me prisoner.
15:25I'm not keeping you prisoner. I'm trying to keep you safe.
15:27No!
15:28You're doing what I'm most scared of.
15:31Taking away my decisions.
15:35Phil, please.
15:37It's time. You have to let me go.
15:39Go where? Go where?
15:41Some crappy little caravan, eh?
15:44It's a park home.
15:45This is your home, Nigel.
15:47This is your home.
15:49There's nothing you can do there that you can't do here.
15:52It'd be worse there. You'd be alone, wouldn't you?
15:54You know, you need a place to spend the days you've got left.
15:57This, this is it.
16:02What?
16:03Nigel, I think we're a bit past the cloak and dagger stage, aren't we?
16:07If you've got anything to say, you can tell me.
16:09I'm, I'm your mate, ain't I?
16:12I failed.
16:13The cognitive test I made for myself. I failed. I failed it just now.
16:25It's just...
16:26It's all right. It don't mean nothing.
16:27It means everything.
16:28It's just some stupid question.
16:30Questions that I rely on, that I promised myself I'd act on before it's too late.
16:35You have to let me go.
16:37Listen, you're stressed, all right? You don't know apples from oranges, right?
16:39You're just taking a massive blow to the head.
16:41Yes.
16:42Which has speeded everything up like that nurse said.
16:45No, she never said that.
16:48Something's changed.
16:49Nothing changes that quickly, Nigel, all right now?
16:52Now just park yourself up, because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense.
16:57I am seeing sense. That's the whole point.
17:01But in a week, a month, I might not remember. I might not even care.
17:07Then what does it matter, eh? What does it matter?
17:13Because I care now.
17:17And...
17:19I want this, Nigel, to make the decisions.
17:25This, me.
17:26Have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold?
17:44It's not... it's not just a case of having a dodgy memory.
17:47It's, um...
17:48It's just not being able to walk...
17:51Or wash myself, or even right now on the backside.
17:56Sitting in some home, being...
18:00Fed like a child by someone I don't even know.
18:07I don't want to die like that.
18:08I want to be me.
18:11Right to the end.
18:19Now do you understand?
18:20Phil?
18:30Phil.
18:35Phil.
18:39Phil.
18:40Phil.
18:43You should, er...
18:45You should call Julie, tell her what you're planning, because that's the least you can do.
18:53No.
18:55I don't want that for her. I didn't want this for you.
18:58Never want that to be a burden.
18:59No.
19:01Weren't you listening back at the hospital, eh?
19:03You ain't a burden, all right?
19:05You never were, you never could be, because...
19:07Because you...
19:09You saved me.
19:11Anyone would have done what I did that night.
19:13No, not that night.
19:15Not just there.
19:16Here, in this house, every day since I left the unit.
19:19You...
19:21You saved me, Nigel.
19:23Fred.
19:25The name of the Basset Allen, in Smokey and the Bandit. I remembered.
19:33Fred.
19:39I was about to do it.
19:41I would have...
19:43I would have done it.
19:45Oh, my God.
19:49No.
19:51A while ago, I...
19:54I spent the best part of the year thinking I was 59, actually.
19:57I was...
19:58I was 58.
20:00No dementia or no dementia.
20:01We all...
20:02We all forget things.
20:03We all make mistakes.
20:05It doesn't...
20:06change things, really.
20:07This...
20:09This disease is gonna beat me in the end.
20:11Nigel.
20:13Nigel, we all get beaten in the end.
20:16You know, you...
20:18You're worried about your future.
20:21But the future that you imagined, it don't have to go down like that.
20:25No, I will do everything I can to change things.
20:30So that you feel like...
20:31That you're in control.
20:33Yeah.
20:35And if...
20:36You know, when the time comes for you to move on.
20:38You don't have to live in some boxy little shoebox.
20:42No, you...
20:43There's places you can go.
20:44Good...
20:45Good places.
20:46Full of good people.
20:47Kind, respecting, caring people.
20:49That will look after you.
20:52Just...
20:54Just think about it.
20:56Yeah?
20:57There's...
20:58I'll have a couple of cheese and have toasties before me.
21:28Oh, I saw you as I was leaving the library. Did you find him?
21:33Yeah.
21:34How is he?
21:35Well, he's safe, at least, but I think the rest is going to take time.
21:40Well, he's lucky to have a friend like you.
21:43Well, I don't know about that.
21:45Well, he's just about having a mistake in the book today, but, well, I think we might have turned the corner.
21:50So what next?
21:52He don't like the look of what's coming down the line.
21:54I can't say I blame him, but, well, I'm going to look into some care homes.
21:57I'll try and find him the best one I can.
22:00And what is wrong with the home that he is in right now?
22:05Greater love has no one than this.
22:09To lay down one's life for one's friends.
22:11It's obvious that you care very much about him, and it strikes me that Nigel is already exactly where he should be.
22:21I can't get your drink from there, can I?
22:23I can't get your drink from there.
22:25They have table service.
22:26I'll table service.
22:27I can't just listen to my parents.
22:28They have sempre to pay people any of them.
22:29I might just haven't seen anything.
22:38Anyway,
22:51I might just let him out find me.
22:53Sonia, it's me, Phil.
23:19Listen, I don't even know what time it is where you are.
23:23Jess, listen, I've had this idea and I need you to tell me whether it's a stupid idea or not.
23:38All right, hiya.
23:40All right.
23:42It's, uh, almond cheese.
23:45Oh, simple functions.
23:49I've, uh, I've been thinking, you know, about how we could make this work.
24:00Please, Phil, enough talking.
24:02Listen, if I don't say this now, then I'll never say it, all right?
24:07So just, just, just hear me out.
24:10I don't know how much time you've got left, you know.
24:14None of us know that, do we?
24:16But what time you have got, you know, don't have to, don't have to be like you said, you know, people looking after you that, that don't know you.
24:25Stay here and, and I'll look after you.
24:29Are you offering to be my carer?
24:32Yeah.
24:33Yeah, I suppose I am.
24:39What?
24:42I don't know, I'm, um, surprised.
24:46And I'm, I'm touched.
24:48But I can't let you do that, even if it were possible.
24:53Well, it is possible.
24:54I just spoke with Sonia.
24:55She said, as long as we get some support in, we, we could do it.
24:58I don't want you to do that.
25:00Yeah, because you don't want to be a burden.
25:02And I, I understand that, and, but you ain't a burden, all right?
25:06You know, we've, we've talked before, haven't we, about, you know, how, what led me to the arches.
25:17To the arches.
25:18That night.
25:19And, well, you know, I've always, I've always had a purpose in life.
25:23Whether it was sticking the finger up to my old man, or making money, looking after my mum, looking after family.
25:30I've, I've always had a purpose, but I ain't got them things anymore.
25:33I have.
25:34I have got you.
25:37Now here, you, you be safe, you, you be looked after, and you be, you be treated with dignity.
25:45I promise you.
25:50You have no idea how bad it could get.
25:54Well, whatever comes, you know, we'll, we'll prepare for it, we'll deal with it together.
25:59And, you know, on the plus side, you get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties.
26:06Look, this, this ain't about me saving you.
26:13This is about saving both of us.
26:15And you, you commit to staying here, I will commit to looking after you.
26:23Yeah.
26:24All right.
26:26Till the end.
26:33Till the end.
26:36That's good.
26:39That's good.
26:45Here you go.
26:46I love it.
26:47Here you go.
26:48Thistle.
26:50Luckily, it looks good.
26:51Well, it's nice to have you in there.
26:52You're welcome.
26:53Yeah.
26:54I love it.
26:55I love that.
26:56What?
26:57I love it.
26:58I love it.
26:59How'd you be?
27:00Here you go.
27:02You're welcome.
27:03I love it.
27:04You're welcome.
27:05I love it.
27:06Here you go, I love it.
27:08I love it.
27:09I love it.
27:10I love it.
27:11I love it.
27:12I love it.
27:13I love it.