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00:00I've... I've checked upstairs, and he... he ain't here.
00:16Did he say anything else in the letter?
00:20It's just that, er...
00:23It's just that he don't want to be a burden.
00:25Listen, I've got to... I've got to find him, all right? I've got to find him.
00:46Please. Please. Please don't... don't hurt me again. Please.
00:53All I need is the air that I breathe.
00:59You, er... seen Nigel?
01:02Earlier, yes.
01:03No, no, recently now. Last hour or so.
01:05Oh, what? Has something else happened?
01:07No, no, er...
01:09I just thought he might come in here. I know that he talks to you.
01:12Yes, he does.
01:15Mmm... when we spoke earlier, he was still shaken by what happened at the egg hunt.
01:20He told me that everything was in hand, but I'm not sure I believe him.
01:24And I'm not sure I believe you right now.
01:26No.
01:30He's, er...
01:32He's been planning...
01:35on taking his own life.
01:38Well, okay...
01:40You don't seem that surprised.
01:42Well, the way he was talking gave me cause for concern.
01:46Even though he was trying to convince me that he is fine.
01:49Yeah, well...
01:50He ain't.
01:51And now he's got missing.
01:53All right, I'll go and come with you.
01:54What are you doing?
01:55I'm coming really to look for him.
01:57No, no, no, please. Just stay here, yeah?
01:58He might...
01:59He might walk past, see the light and come in here, so...
02:01Please, just...
02:02Just stay here.
02:03And let me know if he does, yeah?
02:04All right.
02:05Cheers.
02:16Phil!
02:18Oh!
02:19I was talking to Nigel earlier and, er...
02:21he said that he was worried that he was becoming a burden.
02:24Yeah, I got all that, but, er...
02:25did he say anything about going out tonight?
02:27No.
02:28Why?
02:30Later.
02:31I think you should look after him better, Phil.
02:36Just saying.
02:38Phil?
02:42Have you tried calling him?
02:43Yeah, of course I tried calling him, but there's no answer.
02:47Maybe he's done talking.
02:50You don't have to go in there, all right? I'll do it.
02:52No, no, no, no.
02:53If he's in there, this is on me.
02:56You don't have to do this or it's going to set you back.
02:59It won't.
03:01We're here, so I went to a guy.
03:02I think we've got all the calls.
03:03I've taken the money out.
03:04You're done.
03:05I win.
03:06We're done.
03:08I've done.
03:09You're done.
03:10You're done.
03:11No.
03:13I'm done.
03:14No.
03:15Don't you?
03:16We gotta go.
03:17Yeah.
03:18I've done this all.
03:19I've done this 20 bucks.
03:20I've done it.
03:21I've done this before so you get it right now.
03:22I've done it.
03:23It's good.
03:24I've done it.
03:25I've done it.
03:26You've done it.
03:27At some point we've done this.
03:28This is a good idea.
03:29It's hot now.
03:44We find him.
03:46We find him and we make sure he's on top of that.
03:51You know, that night that he called the mental health baby, I was, well, I was angry.
03:57I was angry, but he did the hard thing.
04:04He was trying to look after me, I understand that.
04:08Now, I'm going to do the same for him.
04:12I'm going to do the hard thing.
04:15And do what? Get him sectioned?
04:18He's a danger to himself, the same as I was.
04:21It's not the same, Paul. It's not the same at all.
04:23He wants to kill himself. He wants to die, just like I did.
04:27No, finding, finding this note coming in there is, it's brought it all up, you know, what I, what I brought it all up for ever long.
04:41I am sorry.
04:43Sorry.
04:47He's counting.
04:48I really thought I was going to find him there, you know, I thought, I thought I was going to walk through that door and I was going to see him laying there.
05:07I thought I was going to see him laying there just like I saw my mum.
05:11Hello?
05:25Hello?
05:27Speaking.
05:30It's the hospital.
05:32Is he okay?
05:35That's such good news.
05:36Yeah, we've been really worried.
05:39I found him. He's safe.
05:40Oh, thank God.
05:53We were worried sick.
05:56What happened?
05:57Is someone here?
05:59I fell.
06:00Well, that's not what the nurse out there said.
06:02No, she said the person who found you thought you'd been mugged.
06:05No, I fell.
06:07So whatever happened, it should have been me they called, not Linda.
06:11I washed my hands of you.
06:14My memory ain't what it was, but I remember that.
06:18Listen, you, you're angry with me and I don't blame you.
06:21Stop.
06:24Have they, uh, have they said how long you need to be in here?
06:28Uh, well, I think I might have a, oh, it's a call when you get a bang on the head.
06:34A concussion?
06:35A concussion, yeah.
06:36And, um, I won't let you leave on my own because of that.
06:40Good.
06:41Because if they did it, you'd just wander off on your own again, wouldn't you?
06:51He's just worried.
06:52He, um, he told me what he said to you.
06:58He was angry at the thought of you hurting yourself.
07:06He won't say this because he don't know how.
07:08But he really cares about you.
07:17Do you mind leaving me now?
07:19I need to get dressed.
07:28Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about, all right?
07:31This man, he's a danger to himself.
07:33Phil, can I have a word?
07:34Yeah, in a minute.
07:34Now.
07:36Wait, what are you playing at, eh?
07:38I'm stopping you from making a mistake.
07:40Yes, I'm not standing by and letting another person hurt themselves.
07:43But trying to get him sectioned is not the answer.
07:47And what happened to Peggy, to you, and what's happening to Nigel now,
07:52and it's all got sort of jumbled up in your head like it's part of the same story, and it's not.
07:56He told me he wants to kill himself.
07:59No, Phil.
08:00What he wants is not to get worse.
08:05You know, Shirley's mum, Sylvie, when she was at her worst near the end,
08:10I promised myself that if that was me, I would not let it come to that.
08:14So I understand.
08:17You know, I may not like it, but I do get it.
08:21He's not depressed and in despair like you were.
08:24He is not an alcoholic like me.
08:27What he's got, you can't recover from.
08:34He is in despair, all right?
08:37And he's frightened.
08:38What am I supposed to do?
08:39Just throw my arms up in here, walk away, and let him end it all?
08:43No.
08:45No, look, I don't know.
08:47Just talk to him.
08:50It's his life.
09:06So I'm sorry, you know, for what I said before at the house.
09:11I suppose you scared me.
09:13So where was you headed tonight?
09:19Uh, well, after talking to Gene, I got worried, and, um, I made arrangements to rent a little park home near the coast.
09:32Coast?
09:33You're talking about where on the coast?
09:35Kent.
09:36Um, I forget, I can't remember the town.
09:39I've written it down somewhere.
09:40That was always the plan.
09:44Soon as I felt I was becoming a burden, I'd go live out the rest of my days in a piece by the sea.
09:55I probably should have done it sooner, but I'd hope that being in a familiar place with familiar faces might bring back the good times, might even slow down the symptoms.
10:13And I thought I was doing some good.
10:17But what you said, you know, in your note about being a burden, you, you ain't a burden to me.
10:31So come home, yeah?
10:32And then we can, we can take it day by day.
10:38And, um, what you said at the arches about you needing me, well, there's only the half of it.
10:47How are you feeling?
10:55Yeah, yeah, better, thank you.
10:56Well, the doctor said you can be discharged as long as you've someone with you to keep an eye on you.
11:01Is that the case?
11:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:04Um, I'm going back home in here.
11:07Good.
11:08Will I leave you to get your things together?
11:09Right, thank you.
11:11Sorry.
11:11Um, you see all this stuff in the news about brain injuries and dementia.
11:16I, I, I just wondered, you know, could a knock to the head make the condition worse?
11:22You'd have to speak to a specialist, but I can't think it will have helped.
11:40Oh, this tap, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to get a plumber around it.
11:46Do you, uh, you fancy a cover?
11:49Oh, cheers, yeah, right.
11:53Who's that?
11:55Gene.
11:55Listen, that, uh, that video you made, I know why you made it.
12:01Well, now it's all out in the open, we can talk about it.
12:03You don't need it anymore, so you might as well delete it, mightn't you?
12:07Yeah, yeah, right.
12:09I'll delete it.
12:13Now, I'm still master of my own...
12:16I said I'll delete it, and I'll delete it, in my own time.
12:26Back in a minute.
12:27Where you going?
12:29Uh, uh, Gene brought this round, she wants it back.
12:31What, now?
12:32That's what she says.
12:34Well, I'll drop it back, you need, you need the rest, yeah?
12:37I'll make the tea when I get back.
12:39So, if you can't answer, uh, if you get, if you file the test,
12:58then, uh, you've got to take action.
13:03While she still came.
13:04Um, no ifs, no buts, fail this test.
13:12And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
13:21What is it? What's happened?
13:23Uh, nothing, uh, well, I didn't want to say anything earlier on,
13:26but, uh, Nigel went missing.
13:29Oh, and you found him?
13:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine now.
13:31Well, you're right, yeah, I've, I've got to take better care of him.
13:38Anyway, here you go.
13:40Oh, I gave him that as a present.
13:42What, he said you, uh, said you wanted a bet?
13:45Why would he say that?
13:47Oh, maybe he's confused.
13:49There's been a lot of that lately.
13:51No.
13:52Thanks.
13:52Question five.
13:57Yeah.
13:58In Smokey and a Bandit,
14:00the dog in Smokey and a Bandit,
14:03specially chosen by Burt Reynolds,
14:06what's his name?
14:07Or her name?
14:10Cut.
14:11What's your game?
14:39Hey?
14:40You should never ask for this.
14:41That's true.
14:41You trying to get rid of me or something?
14:43Hey?
14:45You deleted that video yet?
14:48Nigel, I don't understand.
14:50All right, I thought we agreed you don't need it anymore.
14:52You know that things are going to get better now.
14:55Well, they can't.
14:58That's what you don't seem to understand.
15:01Things are going to get bad.
15:03And much quicker than I thought.
15:05Where are you going?
15:06Where are you going?
15:06I told you, the sea, the house.
15:09You don't need to go there anymore, Nigel.
15:11Nigel, you don't need to go there anymore, all right?
15:16It's locked.
15:17Have you got the key?
15:19I've locked it.
15:23Nigel, I've locked it.
15:24I've locked that one.
15:25You can't keep me prisoner.
15:26I'm not keeping you prisoner.
15:27I'm trying to keep you safe.
15:28No.
15:29You're doing what I'm most scared of, taking away my decisions.
15:36Phil, please.
15:38It's time.
15:39You have to let me go.
15:40Go where?
15:41Go where?
15:42Some crappy little caravan, eh?
15:44It's a park home.
15:47This is your home, Nigel.
15:48This is your home.
15:50There's nothing you can do there that you can't do here.
15:52It'd be worse there.
15:53You'd be alone, wouldn't you?
15:55You need a place to spend the days you've got left.
15:57This, this is it.
16:02What?
16:05Nigel, I think we're a bit past the cloak and dagger stage, aren't we?
16:08If you've got anything to say, you can tell me.
16:09I'm, I'm your mate, aren't I?
16:13I failed.
16:19The, um, cognitive test I made for myself.
16:24I failed.
16:24I failed it just now.
16:25It's just...
16:26It's all right.
16:27It don't mean nothing.
16:28It means everything.
16:29It's just some stupid question.
16:31Questions that I rely on, that I promised myself I'd act on before it's too late.
16:37You have to let me go.
16:38Listen, you're stressed, all right?
16:39You don't know apples from oranges, right?
16:40You're just taking a massive blow to the head.
16:42Yes.
16:43Which has speeded everything up like that nurse said.
16:46No, she never said that.
16:49Something's changed.
16:50Nothing changes that quickly, Nigel, all right now?
16:53Now just park yourself up because you ain't going anywhere until you see sense.
16:56I am seeing sense.
16:59That's the whole point.
17:01But in a week, a month, I might not remember.
17:06I might not even care.
17:08Come on.
17:08Then what does it matter, eh?
17:09What does it matter?
17:10Because I care now.
17:15And I want this, Nigel, to make the decisions.
17:25This, me.
17:27Have you even ever thought what my life could be like when this disease takes hold?
17:42Well, it's not just a case of having a dodgy memory.
17:48It's not being able to walk or wash myself or even wipe me on the backside.
17:56Sitting in some home and being fed like a child by someone I don't even know.
18:03I don't want to die like that.
18:11I want to be me.
18:15Right to the end.
18:20Now, do you understand?
18:30Phil.
18:33Look, Phil.
18:44You should, uh, you should call Julie, tell her what you're planning, because that's the
18:48least you can do.
18:54No, I don't want that for her.
18:56I didn't want this for you.
18:58Never want there to be a burden.
19:01Weren't you listening back at the hospital, eh?
19:03You ain't a burden, all right?
19:06You never were, you never could be, because...
19:08Because you...
19:10You saved me.
19:11Oh, anyone would have done what I did that night.
19:14No, not that night.
19:15Not just there.
19:16Here, in this house.
19:18Every day since I left the unit.
19:19You...
19:20You saved me, Nigel.
19:22Fred.
19:24Fred.
19:29The name of the best at home in Smokey and the Bandit.
19:33I remembered.
19:34Fred.
19:39I was about to do it.
19:42I would have...
19:43I would have done it.
19:44Oh, my God.
19:49You know...
19:50A while ago, I...
19:53I spent the best part of a year thinking I was 59, actually.
19:57I was...
19:58I was 58.
20:00No dementia or no dementia.
20:02We all forget things.
20:03We all make mistakes.
20:05It doesn't change things, really.
20:08This, uh...
20:10This disease is gonna beat me in the end.
20:12Nigel.
20:14Nigel, we all get beaten in the end.
20:17You know, you...
20:17You're worried about your future.
20:21But the future that you imagined, it don't have to go down like that.
20:26Now, I will do everything I can to change things.
20:29So that you feel like...
20:31That you're in control.
20:33Yeah.
20:34And if...
20:36You know, when the time comes for you to move on.
20:39You don't have to live in some boxy little shoebox.
20:43You know, you...
20:43There's places you can go.
20:45Good...
20:45Good places.
20:46Full of good people.
20:47Kind, respecting, caring people.
20:50That will look after you.
20:54Just...
20:54Just think about it.
20:57Yeah.
20:59I'll have, uh...
21:27Cut the cheese and the toasties, please.
21:28Oh, I saw you as I was leaving the locker.
21:31Did you find him?
21:32Yeah.
21:34How is he?
21:35Well, he's, uh...
21:36He's safe, at least.
21:37But, uh...
21:38The rest is gonna take time.
21:39Oh.
21:40Yeah.
21:41He's lucky to have a friend like you.
21:43Well, I don't know about that.
21:45Well, he's just about having a mistake in the book today.
21:47But, uh...
21:48Well...
21:48I think we might have turned the corner.
21:50So, what next?
21:52He don't like the look of what's coming down the line.
21:54I can't say I blame him.
21:55But, uh...
21:56Well, I'm gonna look into some care homes.
21:58Try and find the best one I can.
22:00And what is wrong with the home that he is in right now?
22:05Greater love has no one than this.
22:09To lay down one's life for one's friends.
22:11It's obvious that you care very much about him.
22:17And it strikes me that...
22:18Nigel is already exactly where he should be.
22:21I can't get your drink from there.
22:23Huh?
22:23I can't get your drink from there.
22:25Yeah, I'll pay my service.
22:26I'll pay my service.
22:27I'll pay my service.
22:27I'll pay my service.
22:41I'll pay my service.
23:11So, yeah.
23:18It's me, Phil.
23:20Listen, I don't even know what time it is where you are.
23:24Jess.
23:26Listen, I've had this idea and I need you to tell me whether it's a...
23:30Whether it's a stupid idea or not.
23:39All right?
23:39Hiya.
23:40All right.
23:41It's, uh, hammer cheese.
23:45Oh, simple fusions.
23:48Yeah.
23:50I've, uh, I've been thinking, you know, uh, about how we could make this work.
24:00Please, Phil, enough talking.
24:02Listen, if I don't say this now, then I'll never say it, all right?
24:08So just, just, just hear me out.
24:09No, I don't know how much time you've got left, you know.
24:15None of us know that, do we?
24:16But what time you have got, you know, don't have to, don't have to be like you said, you know, people looking after you that, that don't know you.
24:26Stay here and how do I look after you?
24:30Are you offering to be my carer?
24:33Yeah.
24:35Yeah, I suppose I am.
24:39What?
24:43I don't know.
24:43I'm, um, surprised.
24:47And I'm, I'm touched.
24:51But I can't let you do that, even if it were possible.
24:54Well, it is possible.
24:55I just spoke with Sonia.
24:55She said as long as we get some support in, we, we could do it.
24:58I don't want you to do that.
25:00Yeah, because you don't want to be a burden.
25:02And I, I understand that.
25:04And, but you ain't a burden, all right, you know.
25:10We've, we've talked before, haven't we, about, you know, what led me to the Arches that night.
25:19And, well, you know, I've always, I've always had a purpose in life.
25:25Whether it was sticking a finger up to my old man or making money, looking after my mum, looking after family.
25:31I've, I've always had a purpose.
25:32But I ain't got them things anymore.
25:34I have.
25:35I have, I have got you.
25:39Now here, you, you'd be safe.
25:41You'd be looked after and we'd be, you'd be treated with dignity.
25:46I promise you.
25:51You have no idea how bad it could get.
25:55Well, whatever comes, you know, we'll, we'll prepare for it.
25:59We'll deal with it together.
26:02And, you know, on the plus side.
26:05You get to eat a few more cheese and ham toasties.
26:11This, this ain't about me saving you.
26:14This is about saving both of us.
26:17And you, you commit to staying here.
26:20I will commit to looking after you, all right?
26:27Till the end.
26:27Till the end.
26:37That's good.
26:39That's good.
26:40That's good.
26:40There you go.
26:50Go, go.
26:52Uh-oh.