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00:00No ifs. No buts. Fail this test. And you have to kill yourself, old pal.
00:23I've got enough gloom and doom. It's Christmas after all. So right, let's start.
00:32In Night of the Living Dead, what substance did they use to make fake blood? Come on, you know this one.
00:43In Smokey and Abandoned...
00:45Ah cheers, I was just coming to find my name.
00:49What is this, eh? What is this? Some sort of sick joke?
00:52It's just a precaution. No, it ain't a precautionite. It's you. You planning to kill yourself.
01:05I was just sat there watching cartoons on a tablet. Won't talk about it.
01:09Because she's watching cartoons?
01:11Are you worried? A man she hardly knows just trying to drag her off down the street.
01:15She could be, you know, emotionally damaged.
01:17She is emotionally damaged. Her dad died. What happened with Nigel is small potatoes in comparison.
01:22Fine. If you think it's nothing, then I guess it's nothing.
01:25No, I'm not saying it's nothing, Harvey. But what happened isn't his fault.
01:29And I'm not going to demonise him and I don't want the kids in the house to do that either.
01:33He's sick. And he needs compassion and support. You should know that.
01:42Look, I know this must be a shock for you, but what you saw, the video, don't mean I'm actually planning to do something.
02:04You're going to have to kill yourself, old pal. That, that is what you said.
02:10Only if I fail the test, but maybe I won't. Maybe your cooking will do for me first.
02:16I'm scared, Phil. Scared of losing myself. Of becoming different. And more than that, I'm scared that I won't even notice.
02:44This makes me feel less scared. It means that every now and then I can do this cognitive test.
02:54You know, when I feel worse or have a bad day, like today, and check that I'm okay.
03:04And what if you ain't? What if you ain't? You're talking about killing yourself because you can't answer one poxy question.
03:10It's almost like you want to do it. No, no, of course I don't.
03:14But these are facts that I know off the top of my head, or should do if I'm of sound mind.
03:22I'm not saying I'd do it straight away, but I would start making preparations.
03:31Yeah, to kill yourself. To kill yourself. We'll call it what it is, yeah?
03:34I know how hard this must be for you. What you went through in the arches and before with your mum.
03:46Well, I don't. Well, I don't. Just don't talk about her.
03:52Now, you said this video was made at Christmas. It was all that stuff you said in the arches that night.
03:58Telling me to keep going. Because life was worth living. I should keep fighting. You didn't believe a word of it, did you?
04:04I meant every single word. How could you, when you was already planned it?
04:07Our situations aren't the same. There's no getting better for me.
04:12Well, in that case, why don't you just top yourself, eh? Why don't you just stop yourself and get it over and done with you?
04:18You! You are a hypocrite. Do you know that? You're a hypocrite. And I'll wash me hands here.
04:25You've got an interview. I've just had a phone call from the mayor's office. They want a photo-op at Paradise Park. Me and the mayor, breaking ground.
04:54Look, Nick, I know you've had some reservations about the job. Because of Dartford and Harry. But that is all behind us. And this, this is going to be massive for us.
05:06Yeah, of course. Let's just hope it goes ahead, eh? Because these things, they have a tendency of falling through.
05:14Well, we start work later this week. This week?
05:18Yeah. Why wait? Junior's got the Groundworks team in place. The plants are on site. And Ross, well, he's as keen as mustard. He's already started hiring fellas. Everything's ready to go.
05:29Are you okay? Oh, yeah, yeah. I've just got an headache, that's all.
05:34Look, er, like I said, I know you've had your doubts about the whole thing, but, well, your support means everything to me.
05:42I'll tell you what, why don't you go and get your Gladbags on and come with me? It'll be a much better photo with you, innit?
05:48Nah, like I said, I've got an headache.
05:50Alright, no worries. I'll send you a pic. Me and the mayor. Spades in the ground.
05:56Mwah! See ya, bye.
06:10I'm just about to lip after the Vic. See how they're getting on.
06:14You're about to come in and see how your room is?
06:16I don't want to go back to lip after Vic.
06:19Well, come on, mate. You knew we couldn't stay here forever.
06:24It's going to be fun at the Vic. You know, there's fresh paint, squishy carpets.
06:29I don't care about squishy carpets. I like the carpets here. It's too noisy in the Vic. I want to stay here.
06:37You can't. I mean, this isn't our home. People online are going to be moving in with their new baby, so...
06:43So I can live on my own?
06:45No.
06:49I mean, you're family, so you belong with us.
06:52But I'll take into consideration everything you said and try and make sure it's an environment that's comfortable for you.
07:00Alright? Promise.
07:02Good.
07:10Told you. He won't listen.
07:13Well, maybe you'll listen to me.
07:16I know it's last minute, but I was thinking we could hire a singer. Like a tribute act thing.
07:22I've seen this Cher woman on Insta. Mum loves a bit of Cher, doesn't she?
07:26She's North London-based, but I reckon she'd come in to put up her a few extra quid.
07:30You're thinking about her, aren't you?
07:35Who?
07:36Mum.
07:37Avani.
07:38Dare to tell me you two were hanging out.
07:40Her old man's a nutter, but she seems alright. You should get in there.
07:44Get in there?
07:45Yeah, ask her out. What have you got to lose?
07:48My pride and our friendship.
07:51Friendship?
07:52Friendship.
07:53I'm not being funny, Barn, but that's just what blokes call it when they ain't getting any.
07:57Oh, God, you are so...unevolved.
08:01She is my friend.
08:03Like, today she said that I made her feel normal for the first time in ages.
08:08That's friendship.
08:09No.
08:10That's tragic, is what that is.
08:12Seriously, Barn, if you like her, and I know you like her, why do you wanna just make her
08:19feel normal?
08:20It was a compliment.
08:21She's been through a lot.
08:22Yeah, and you've been there for her, and you've been a good friend, and yada, yada, yada.
08:27But come on, Barn, why are you just settling for being her mate?
08:31You fancy her, so ask her out.
08:39Now that's something I haven't heard in a while.
08:49What are you doing here?
08:51Avoiding home, ignoring my messages.
08:53How else am I meant to check my little girl's okay?
08:56I'm fine, Dad.
08:58Look at you, smiling and everything.
09:02Yeah, because I've just seen Barney.
09:05It made me feel a bit more like myself, I guess, so.
09:10Come here.
09:12You know I'm proud of you, right?
09:20Dad?
09:22Mm-hmm.
09:24Is this, like, a moment?
09:27Is this something that I'm gonna look back on years from now when you're dead, and you're
09:35gone?
09:36It's a moment, but it ain't all that.
09:39Now you're feeling more like yourself, why don't we celebrate?
09:45We could go on a trip, get you away from here.
09:49What, like, a foreign holiday?
09:54Yeah, we could, um, yeah, we could go on a short holiday.
09:59Yeah?
10:00A holiday?
10:01A short break.
10:02Okay.
10:03I'm excited.
10:04Have a think.
10:05No, you're gonna have to buy me new dresses.
10:07I'm gonna need skirts, a bikini.
10:10I...
10:11Do you know what?
10:12Yeah, you're right.
10:13Let me have a think.
10:17I was just passing and thought I'd pop in and see how you are.
10:24I'm fine.
10:26So how's Hope?
10:27Oh, she's fine.
10:28Water off a duck's back.
10:30If you want me to go, just tell me to help it.
10:35Oh, nope, sorry.
10:37Easter puns on the brains for kids.
10:40Yeah, it's an egg-citing day for them.
10:43Yeah, we've had that one a few times as well.
10:45Oh.
10:46Yeah.
10:47So, um, I actually came round to give you this,
10:50cos you said you loved horror films.
10:52Oh, Night of the Living Dead is one of my faves.
10:55Oh, well, there you go then.
10:57I was thinking about it just today.
10:59There's this scene in it where the, um,
11:01the zombies are eating bodies in the back of a burnt-out truck,
11:05but actually they use roast ham smothered in chocolate sauce.
11:10I like ham.
11:12And chocolate.
11:14Well, we could put it on now, if you like.
11:17Do you know, um...
11:19That would be lovely.
11:21Oh.
11:23If Kojo feels that he's ready to live alone,
11:25then we owe it to him to explore that, don't we?
11:28Even if he was ready.
11:31Renting is expensive.
11:33We haven't made any income for months.
11:36I will find a job.
11:37Yeah, exactly.
11:38And it doesn't have to be a big place.
11:40He just...
11:41He wants to be in control of his environment.
11:44I want my own front door.
11:45Yeah.
11:46Having your own front door isn't everything, you know.
11:50Being safe is really important.
11:52And the promise I made Cobb and I, I take very seriously.
11:55It's my job.
11:57To make sure you're okay.
12:01You think I'm a child?
12:03I'm not a child.
12:04I'm a man.
12:05And that will prove it.
12:07Oh, Jo?
12:08Everything all right?
12:09My own front door.
12:10Like this front door.
12:11Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
12:12But I really should go after him.
12:13Meet up late if you like.
12:14Oh, no, sir.
12:15Linda, I want to see you.
12:16You got a minute?
12:17Yeah, of course.
12:18Stick the kettle on, shall I?
12:19Are you even listening to me?
12:20Yeah.
12:21So there's this girl that I follow, right?
12:22And she went to this hotel, resort type thing in Marbella.
12:24Beautiful pool, lovely food.
12:25And you could do all of these trips.
12:26Like you could swim with dolphins.
12:27You could even go on a sunset cruise.
12:28Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
12:29Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
12:30But I really should go after him.
12:31I mean, have a night if you like.
12:32Oh, no, sir.
12:33Linda, I want to see you.
12:34You got a minute?
12:35Yeah, of course.
12:36Stick the kettle on, shall I?
12:37Are you even listening to me?
12:38Yeah.
12:39So there's this girl that I follow, right?
12:40And she went to this hotel resort type thing in Marbella.
12:42Beautiful pool, lovely food.
12:44And you could do all of these trips.
12:45Like you could swim with dolphins.
12:47You could even go on a sunset cruise.
12:49Yeah.
12:50And do you know what else you...
12:51Ivani, yeah, that all sounds great.
12:52But when I was thinking about a short trip,
12:54I wasn't actually thinking about, you know,
12:56jumping on a plane.
12:58Oh.
12:59So then what was you thinking?
13:01I don't know.
13:02Maybe a trip to Bournemouth or something.
13:05Bournemouth?
13:08Dad.
13:09Where have you been?
13:11No, I've left you about half a dozen messages.
13:14I don't care what you've been up to.
13:16If I leave you a message, you call me back.
13:19Harry's Barn.
13:21One hour.
13:22Dad, you told me to think about a holiday.
13:24No, I said a short break.
13:25Yeah, of my heart.
13:29Ivani.
13:31Ivani, I just don't have the money for that kind of...
13:34thing right now.
13:41I don't know.
13:44I don't really know why I'm here.
13:47Here in this kitchen or here on this planet?
13:49Just so I know what kind of chat we're in for.
13:51I think you know you can tell me anything.
13:58After what we've been through together.
14:03Is this about Nigel?
14:04I heard what happened out there.
14:06After what happened out there.
14:07It's about him, yeah.
14:08It's about...
14:09It's about my mum.
14:10It's about me.
14:11It's about...
14:12What happened to me.
14:13It's...
14:16He's been a big support to you, hasn't he?
14:18It's about me.
14:21And after today, you're starting to see what?
14:25That he's declining?
14:27Starting to imagine him not being there?
14:30How this might end?
14:31I know.
14:32I know it's going to end.
14:33He told me.
14:37He's making plans to kill himself.
14:40We'll be all right here.
14:47We'll be all right here until someone comes to rescue us.
14:50But we'll have to work together.
14:51You'll have to help me.
14:52Now, I want you to go in and get some wood,
14:54so I can boil the place up.
14:55Do you understand?
14:56Okay?
14:58Oh, you don't have to watch it if you don't want to.
15:01No, no, no.
15:02It's nice having a distraction.
15:05And nothing distracts like a...
15:07like a zombie child eating her dad.
15:14Thank you for coming here.
15:17Sitting with me here.
15:18I appreciate it.
15:22I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself,
15:25if I'm honest.
15:26I'll stay with you till Phil comes back.
15:34Do you know where he's gone?
15:35Hmm.
15:37Have you and Phil had a row?
15:41Oh, I hope he wasn't cross with you about what happened.
15:43He should know that it wasn't your fault.
15:45It's difficult sometimes, you know,
15:47for dealing with something like this for everyone.
15:50It's not his fault.
15:52No, but I would expect him to be supporting you.
15:56You know, like I said before,
15:58if you ever need anyone to talk to.
16:00Because I do know what it feels like to, you know,
16:03feel that you're a burden to your friends and family.
16:06I mean, there are times when I felt my illness was crushing the people closest to me.
16:12So I do understand.
16:14And you'll never be a burden to me.
16:16I never wanted to be a burden to anyone.
16:18As soon as I was diagnosed, that was my primary thought.
16:24That's why I walked away from...
16:30From...
16:34I didn't want to drag anyone down.
16:36I don't want to drag anyone down.
16:42Do you feel like you're dragging Phil down?
16:45Because, believe you me,
16:47many people have tried,
16:49but Phil Mitchell is tough as old boots.
17:01Are you okay?
17:06Yeah, I'm fine.
17:11It's just...
17:13today...
17:18I'm tired.
17:20Of course.
17:21Yes.
17:22I'll make myself scarce.
17:24And then you can...
17:26rest.
17:28Jean.
17:32For everything.
17:36You told him to get on with it?
17:47I'm not proud of it, all right?
17:49How could you even think to say something like that?
17:51I wasn't thinking straight.
17:52I wasn't thinking at all, all right?
17:53I just...
17:55I suppose it hit a nerve.
17:57It hit a couple of nerves, if I'm honest.
17:59It's...
18:04I think about that...
18:06that night at the Arches.
18:07I probably think about it more than I should,
18:08but I think about what you said,
18:09and I...
18:10I think about what he said to me, you know?
18:12That he needed...
18:14me to be alive.
18:16To help him get through this.
18:17And he does.
18:19But he's not even gonna try it,
18:20which makes a mockery of what he said before,
18:22because I...
18:23I...
18:24I took him seriously.
18:27But later on, late one in...
18:29in the mental health unit,
18:31I told myself that I would be there for him,
18:34to help him get through it, you know?
18:35He gave me something to hold on to,
18:37and I...
18:39I made him a promise,
18:41you know, in my head.
18:43A...
18:44a vow.
18:46And you feel let down.
18:51He's not...
18:52trying to hurt you.
18:53He's just scared.
18:55Think about the people...
18:57left behind.
19:01That's what you said to me,
19:02that night at the Arches.
19:04Think about my family.
19:08And I'm...
19:09I'm all the family he's got.
19:11And I don't...
19:12I don't want him gone, just like...
19:13I didn't want my mum gone.
19:15Nothing back me.
19:16That's why I...
19:18That's why he hit me like a dip,
19:20because...
19:21you know...
19:23What he told me, there I was,
19:25in the same house,
19:26in the same chair that I was nine years earlier,
19:28watching some boxy film.
19:29While all the time,
19:30my mum's upstairs.
19:32Alone.
19:34And dead.
19:35In her bed.
19:39And I let her...
19:41I let her down.
19:43I let her down because I let her die alone.
19:48And...
19:49Part of me blamed myself,
19:50and part of me...
19:52Part of me blamed her...
19:55for leaving me alone.
20:00Whenever it is...
20:02in that same house.
20:03Why did you come here today, Phil?
20:13I don't know.
20:14Just...
20:17Try and...
20:18Try and understand this as...
20:19Yeah, I don't know.
20:20Just...
20:22To talk.
20:23And I...
20:24I'm glad you did.
20:27But you know...
20:29There's someone else...
20:31you really need to be talking to.
20:37I mean, why would anyone tell someone to think about something that they really want,
20:42just to tell them that they can't have it?
20:43It really just makes no sense.
20:46Hey, look, fair enough.
20:47Maybe a week in Marbs was a bit too much, but...
20:50I don't know.
20:51I just feel like I'm getting my mojo back.
20:53And I fancy going somewhere fun.
20:55I mean, you could...
20:57come to my mum's party tomorrow, if you like.
20:59Though...
21:00I don't really know how much fun that'll be.
21:02Just...
21:03me and my family and stuff.
21:05So...
21:06it would be me and you...
21:07watching a load of old people get drunk...
21:11and dance terribly.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah, that's pretty much it.
21:17Well...
21:18I could do with a laugh.
21:20I'm in.
21:21Yeah?
21:22Yeah.
21:23I'll see you later.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Alright, I'll see you later.
21:30You took your time.
21:32I'll take a beer, gorgeous.
21:33Slap round the head if you don't change your tongue.
21:36So...
21:38why am I here?
21:40Do you remember telling me...
21:41that Paradise Park wouldn't be dug up?
21:44They sold it for housing.
21:47They start digging later this week.
21:51Oh, I'm glad you're smiling.
21:54I need to move the body.
21:58You killed her.
22:00Not me.
22:01This ain't my problem.
22:04Oh...
22:05Oh, I think you'll find it is your problem.
22:08You buried her.
22:10You upped your eyeballs, mate.
22:12If they find her...
22:14they'll come for you.
22:16Nah, I don't think so.
22:17Do you remember that diamond bracelet you lost way back?
22:23You didn't lose it.
22:25I needed some insurance just in case you tried to pin everything on me.
22:30It's buried with the body.
22:33And if they find her, they find it.
22:36And then they find you.
22:37Right.
22:38Either you help me, or I'll take you down with me. I will tell them everything.
22:51Yeah, knock yourself out.
22:52No sign that I was ever there, is there?
22:56No motive.
22:57Nothing.
22:59So...
23:03Dollar.
23:04Fane.
23:05Cowgirl.
23:07What three words?
23:08That's where she is.
23:10I'd crack on if I were you.
23:30Poxy thing.
23:33How long have you been stood there?
23:35I don't know.
23:36I wasn't timing myself.
23:39Alright, what can I do for you?
23:41I want you to give me a job.
23:43Alright.
23:44What, so you just walk in here and ask for a job?
23:47How can I get a job if I didn't ask?
23:50Yeah, fair point.
23:52Do you know anything about cars?
23:54I know everything about cars.
23:56Back in Ghana, I used to pay cars for my uncle's cab business.
24:01Now I need a job, so I can make money to pay for a flat
24:04and show Kwame that I'm independent.
24:07Well, that's good motivation right there.
24:09If we need anyone, I'll be in touch.
24:12How will you be in touch?
24:14I don't know.
24:15I'll come round your house and knock.
24:18Right.
24:19Well, I'll wait for your knock.
24:21Good luck fixing that alternator, mate.
24:24Nah, mate, it's the start of my lap.
24:26Where you try and turn it over.
24:28Multiple clicks.
24:29Alternator.
24:31Now why didn't I think of that?
24:35Maybe it's because you're not as good with cars as I am.
24:40Do you know what? I'm going to be run off my feet tomorrow.
24:44You fancy helping me out?
24:45Time for a quick chat.
24:46Really?
24:47Why?
24:48You couldn't help hearing what you said before.
24:50Outside with your daughter.
24:51Hey look, there's no need to be embarrassed, you know.
24:54It's tough times for everyone right now.
24:55Time for a quick chat.
25:07Really?
25:08Why?
25:09You couldn't help hearing what you said before.
25:12Outside with your daughter.
25:15Hey look, there's no need to be embarrassed, you know.
25:17It's tough times for everyone right now.
25:19I might know why you can make a little extra cash if you want.
25:22I thought you got out of a drug game.
25:26I did.
25:27Don't touch drugs no more.
25:30This is just a little job that I can't do on my own.
25:34A big strong man like you.
25:37Well, you wouldn't break a sweat.
25:44Suit yourself.
25:46You know where I am if you change your mind.
25:52Doge.
26:12Nigel?
26:21Nigel?
26:42Nigel?
27:12Homeless loser, innit?
27:24Not what?
27:26Homeless or a loser?
27:28What's in the bag?
27:30Let go!
27:32Let go!
27:34Let go!
27:38Let go!
27:40Let go!