Comedian Mark Normand on The John DeBella Show
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00:00The man who seems to bring more snow into the forecast than Santa Claus, ladies and
00:18gentlemen.
00:19Is that right?
00:20Oh yeah.
00:21Oh yeah.
00:22Mark Norman is here.
00:23Good morning, sir.
00:24Hey, it's mostly dandruff.
00:25Is that what it is?
00:26Well, I think the first time you were on with us, the show got canceled because we had
00:32like 22 inches of snow.
00:34That's right.
00:35And now there's snow in the forecast for tomorrow morning, but nothing to really worry about.
00:38Oh, is that right?
00:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40It's nothing.
00:41God, I hate God.
00:44Yeah, I was here for that crazy snowstorm.
00:47Everything got canceled.
00:48Everything got shut down.
00:49I'm standing here walking around Rittenhouse Square like Will Smith in, what's that one?
00:54Miami.
00:55Wild West.
00:56No, the end of the world.
00:57Oh God, yeah.
00:58What was that?
00:59It was him and his dog, right?
01:00Yeah.
01:01In Times Square.
01:02I am legend.
01:03I am legend.
01:04Yes, except I wasn't black, buff, or rich.
01:07And I didn't have a dog.
01:09But yeah, I went on Tinder and boy, did I clean up.
01:12I remember this.
01:13I remember this.
01:14That's right.
01:15My God.
01:16I remember this theory that the easiest women in America, and you're a man who's on the
01:19road a lot.
01:20Yes.
01:21That the easiest women in America are in Philadelphia.
01:23Oh, these girls are whores.
01:25Yeah.
01:26I love it.
01:27I mean, the women here, they're tough as nails.
01:30They want to get some too, and they're smart.
01:33I don't know.
01:34I think it's something about the Philly lady who just kind of goes after what she wants
01:39too.
01:40And yeah, I cleaned up.
01:41I'd say Florida's got some skanks.
01:43But something about Philly.
01:45Robert Kraft let us know that last week.
01:47Oh, yeah.
01:48That's right.
01:49I always say, why not just get Tom Brady to kiss you for free?
01:53For what, he pays them.
01:54Yeah, right.
01:55Exactly.
01:57Now, I never realized you were from New Orleans.
01:59Born and raised.
02:00Right.
02:01But you sound like a New Orleans.
02:02We were talking about this earlier.
02:04New Orleans folks tend to have this accent that sounds like they're almost from Brooklyn.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Like, if you ever listen to Harry Connick talk, he sounds like he's from Brooklyn.
02:12Definitely.
02:13But you don't have that at all.
02:15No.
02:16A southern accent wouldn't work for this face and this attitude and all that.
02:20So I got rid of it early, and I was a bedwetter.
02:23And also, when I was a kid, I told my mom.
02:25This is how checked out my parents are.
02:27I told my mom, hey, I like comedy.
02:28So she goes, oh, you like comedy?
02:30And she gave me a stack of Marx Brothers VHSs.
02:33Right, right.
02:34And I remember watching them all and loving it, and I think I took a little from that.
02:38All right.
02:39Well, you know, it's nice that you had parental reinforcement for your career.
02:42Yeah.
02:43I'd be like, hey, what about SNL?
02:44They're like, what's that?
02:45They were stuck in the past.
02:47Yeah, they still believe in segregation.
02:49But they're way behind.
02:52They don't have internet or anything.
02:54They can use dial-up.
02:56Now, did you go to college?
02:59I did.
03:00I went to University of New Orleans, failed out, got kicked out of my fraternity for drinking
03:04too much, which is hard to do.
03:08And yeah, then I went to Baton Rouge Community College, got my grades back up, and then finished
03:13at Louisiana State University.
03:16Wow.
03:17And from what I understand, though, you won't be tindering while you're here because there's
03:22a girl in your life?
03:24No, no.
03:25I fell in love with a prostitute.
03:27Okay.
03:28No.
03:29Yeah, I met a nice lady, and yeah, things are going all right.
03:33Yeah?
03:34Yeah.
03:35Down to one labia.
03:37Majora, not menorah.
03:40I don't like the Jews.
03:42No.
03:43No.
03:44No.
03:45But yeah, yeah.
03:47It's weird now because my gal is like seven years my junior.
03:52Nice.
03:53Nice.
03:54So she's 14.
03:55Oh, my God.
03:56Not nice.
03:57Joking.
03:58It's a comedy show.
03:59They'll screw you for anything now.
04:01They want to get ya.
04:02God, I hate these people.
04:04But no references.
04:07They'll be like, hey, you seen Back to the Future?
04:08What's that?
04:09What's that?
04:10Yeah.
04:11Who?
04:12I mean, I can't get any jokes out because she doesn't know what anything is.
04:16It's brutal.
04:17It's killing me.
04:18Yeah, it's like our interns.
04:19Oh, yeah.
04:20I hate it.
04:21You know it's coming.
04:22You know it's coming.
04:23Oh, this twerp in here.
04:24Yeah.
04:25What's he, 11?
04:26Yeah.
04:27Last week, he confused two bands.
04:29All right?
04:30He was talking to people on the phones, and he confused two bands.
04:32All right?
04:33One was Are You a Speedwagon?
04:35Yeah.
04:36Right?
04:37And then the other one was Rice Cake.
04:40Rice Cake?
04:41Yeah.
04:42That's a band?
04:43No.
04:44White Snake is what...
04:45Oh, man.
04:47Wow.
04:49Wow.
04:50That is quite a leap.
04:52Rice Cake.
04:53Right, that's right.
04:54And Are You a Speedwagon?
04:55Are you?
04:56Oh, I didn't even catch that one.
04:57Are you a Speedwagon?
04:58Yeah.
04:59Wow.
05:00That sounds like a gay thing.
05:01Are you a Speedwagon?
05:02No matter what I say to this man, it comes back to sex in some way, shape, or form.
05:07Sex off an app.
05:08Yeah.
05:09Check out Grindr for that one.
05:10I think it's like, I'm 35, and I grew up in 1983, and I'm aware of the Beatles.
05:16Sure.
05:17I'm aware of old movies, and Cool Hand Luke, and stuff from the 60s, and this and that,
05:23and the 50s.
05:24So I went back.
05:25Why can't they go back a little and learn?
05:27Well, because there's so much going on online.
05:30I guess that's right.
05:31That's it.
05:32Now they know about Tyga, and Cardi B, and all this other stuff that I don't care about.
05:38It is good to see you again, sir.
05:39You too.
05:40That was fun.
05:41And we'll do our best to keep the snow out of your way.
05:43God love ya, and I'll get some head and shoulders.
05:45It's John DiBella.
05:47I like you when you go wild.
05:49Philadelphia's classic rock, 102.9 MGK.