Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share the moment they realized their grandparents were still horny!
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00:00Okay, now a question.
00:07Oh, God.
00:11Lisa, I can't even look at Lisa right now.
00:13She's already.
00:14She's probably best.
00:15She's already.
00:17We'll see what it is.
00:19When did you realize your grandma was still horny?
00:25Oh, God.
00:26I know it, too.
00:27I don't know the answer.
00:30Yeah, you do.
00:31You do.
00:33You do.
00:34I do.
00:35When did you?
00:35You know what?
00:36And let's open it up to both.
00:37When did you realize your grandparents were still horny?
00:40Grandma, grandpa, whatever.
00:41I am lucky enough to have had both of my grandmothers pass without ever discovering their horniness.
00:48So, thank goodness.
00:50Yeah, me, too.
00:50Me, too.
00:51But.
00:52R.I.P.
00:53But I know you lived with your grandma.
00:55I did, yeah.
00:55And, like, so it must have, it bubbles up.
00:58TV show.
00:59Yeah, yeah.
00:59So, like, I was probably, I was probably 18 or 19.
01:02I'm living with my grandma.
01:03Yeah.
01:04I'm starting to, like, look through her video library, and I'm starting to put stuff together.
01:08I'm like, Steven Seagal.
01:10Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson.
01:12Oh, yeah.
01:13I'm like, I think my grandma's horny for ass-kicking me.
01:17Yes.
01:18Because those aren't typical grandma action heroes.
01:21No, right.
01:21She's like males like that.
01:23Yeah.
01:24I like a man that can kick some ass.
01:26I know mine, too.
01:27Oh, no.
01:28My grandma.
01:29Oh, really?
01:29Yeah, she's not here anymore.
01:31No.
01:32But, uh, it was recent, like, within the last couple of years.
01:35After my grandpa died, we ended up moving her into a home.
01:38Yeah.
01:38And she was, uh, caught with someone.
01:42No!
01:43Jason, no!
01:44They had to do a call or something?
01:45In the shower.
01:47No!
01:48Jason, no!
01:49Jason!
01:50Jason!
01:50Jason, no!
01:52Oh, my God, Jason, dude, I feel like this-
01:54What did they do?
01:55They called your mom, or-
01:56Oh, yeah, they called, and they had to tell her, and this man was wheelchair-bound.
02:01Oh, no!
02:02Oh, no!
02:03She was riding him in the shower?
02:05I don't know if she was riding him.
02:07She had to be!
02:08She had to be!
02:09Could have been hand-stuffed or something?
02:11Was he maybe just performing?
02:14Yeah, I don't know the details.
02:16Oh, no!
02:17She was riding him on a shower bench.
02:19Oh, my God!
02:20So, yeah.
02:21Oh, no!
02:22That just balls up.
02:23Because when you said it, I'm like, I don't know.
02:25I can't think of a-
02:26Oh, yes, I do know.
02:27Because you know that.
02:28I know.
02:28That is-
02:29I think that wins.
02:31That's a step new.
02:31Come on, ride the train.
02:32Oh, you know.
02:33And ride it.
02:34Oh, the step new.
02:35Come on, ride the train.
02:36It's the choo-choo train.
02:37That's so embarrassing.
02:38Guys.
02:38I've officially lost my desire for gilfs.
02:42Oh, yeah.
02:42Well, it's gone now.
02:44It's gone now.
02:44You're still into milfs.
02:45Yeah.
02:46Yeah, but gilfs.
02:47Yeah.
02:48Oh, no.
02:49I can't imagine.
02:49See, because the way that I'd want to discover it is the way that Andy discovered it.
02:54It's like so innocent compared to that.
02:57Because you might hear my mom mention a Tom Selleck every once in a while, and I'm like,
03:02oh, yeah, you love Tom Selleck.
03:04Yeah, my grandma liked him, too.
03:06Yeah, but to actually get a call and say, grandma's in the shower right now with a paraplegic
03:14man or a wheelchair-bound man and pleasuring him.
03:17Good for that guy, I guess.
03:19Oh, yeah.
03:19He was like, yeah.
03:20I didn't like him.
03:21No.
03:21Did you see him?
03:23Did you know who he was?
03:25He was in your grandma.
03:26I would have to visit.
03:27And he was around?
03:28And she would be, I'd be like, oh, she's not in her room.
03:30They're like, oh, yeah, she's down in his room.
03:31And I'm like, oh, no.
03:33Hey, son.
03:33So I'd bring her home and walk her to his room, and she's like, oh, he wants you to
03:38come in and see the room.
03:40I'm like, no.
03:40I'm going to that bastard.
03:41I'll tip him out of their chairs.
03:44Oh, man.
03:45I'll tip him right out.
03:46Oh, yeah.
03:48No, no.
03:49It's just life.
03:51It's just desires that we have.
03:54I mean, your kids, obviously, if they heard the show at all, they know that their grandma's
03:59horny.
04:00Oh, my mom.
04:01Yeah.
04:01Yeah, unfortunately.
04:02I mean, I guess I made the discovery about their grandma, right, when I saw all the books
04:07she was downloading on Amazon.
04:08Yeah.
04:09Filthy, filthy books.
04:11Yeah, it's a tough thing.
04:12Like, you see, he got very upset.
04:14Yeah.
04:15He's still, he's hanging his head.
04:16Yeah, he can't believe he's with us for a while.
04:19Mallory is in China, Michigan, and is joining us here.
04:22Hi, Mallory.
04:24Hello.
04:25Hi.
04:25Penis.
04:26Penis, when did you realize your grandparents were still horny?
04:28Um, well, my parents took over a guardianship of my grandpa when he was towards the end
04:35of his life, and we found out he had an infection in his body, and it was because of a penile
04:41implant that nobody knew that he had.
04:44Oh, my God.
04:44Grandpa had a penile implant, and no one knew about it?
04:48Oh, man.
04:48No, so we think that my grandma made him get it.
04:52Right.
04:53She had passed by then, by the time we found out, but she would be the type of lady that
04:57would be like, you need to go get that.
04:59Oh, wow.
05:00She needed it.
05:00She needed it.
05:01She needed it, man.
05:03What a shock when the nurses and doctors tell you that.
05:05Oh, my God.
05:06Can you imagine?
05:07Yeah.
05:08What?
05:08He's got a penile implant?
05:10Dear God.
05:10And then you have to, like, so.
05:12Hey, when did you get that, Grandpa?
05:15Years ago.
05:17It's one of the first ones.
05:18Super horny.
05:21Most of it's on the outside.
05:23This one works with gears.
05:24I was going to say, it's like a drawbridge.
05:29Come on.
05:31Makes all those clanking noises.
05:34Ryan's in Massachusetts.
05:36Ryan, when did you realize your grandparents were still horny?
05:40Well, my grandmother, one time, we're all sitting around in the living room TV, and a Calvin
05:45Klein commercial comes on, and it's an underwear commercial, and she goes, oh, my, look at
05:50the package on him.
05:52And then my grandfather turns around and goes, oh, crap, I'm going to have sex tonight.
05:57Oh, no.
05:58Oh, no.
05:59Oh, no.
06:00Oh, no.
06:01What?
06:02I'm like, oh, my God, I want to leave.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Oh, boy.
06:06You know, the river's flowing.
06:07Oh, no.
06:08Forecast is calling for rain down there.
06:10Yeah.
06:11That looks like Mark Wahlberg to me.
06:13Yeah, Marky Mark.
06:14I'm Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
06:19Get ready.
06:20Your grandma's getting revved up.
06:22Turn that off.
06:25Oh, I'm already revved.
06:27You better bust out the lube.
06:30Oh, no.
06:32He's so upset.
06:33Yeah, he's pissed.
06:34Yeah.
06:34Mike's up next.
06:35Mike, when was it for you?
06:37So, when I was about 16, 17, my grandmother was teaching me how to drive because she was
06:41getting older, couldn't really drive.
06:42We're in her little pickup truck in downtown Lynn, heading to a doctor's clinic.
06:46She elbows me and goes, hey, look at that blonde.
06:48I get the top half, you get the bottom half.
06:50Oh, no, bro.
06:51It doesn't know she's a lesbian at that point.
06:54Oh, no, bisexual grandma.
06:56Goodness.
06:57That doesn't happen a lot.
06:58No, it doesn't.
06:59Bisexual grandma.
07:00No, it doesn't.
07:01Bisexual grandma.
07:02No, only in the films.
07:04Jason's seen that movie.
07:05I was going to say, Jason's seen that movie.
07:08Yeah.
07:09That is a movie for sure.
07:10By goof.
07:12I bet you if I typed it in, it would come up right now.
07:14Oh, my God, yes.
07:15I can give you some names of stars if you want.
07:21That is kind of a funny band name.
07:23What?
07:23Bisexual grandma.
07:24Yeah, it's not bad.
07:25It really isn't bad.
07:27Let's go back to the phones here, and we're going to check in with Morgan in Cleveland.
07:33Hello, Morgan.
07:34Oh, how's she going, eh?
07:36How's she going, eh?
07:37The moment you realized one of your grandparents was still horny.
07:40So, my grandmother had just died, and my very religious, uber-religious grandfather sat
07:50me down and was saying how he had recently connected with his neighbor.
07:55And I was like, hey, Papa, that's great.
07:57And he put his hands together as if, like, fitting two puzzle pieces together and said,
08:03no, I mean, like, connecting.
08:06And then he proceeded to talk about how he had connected so hard all over the couch the
08:13other night that it rearranged the furniture.
08:16Needless to say, I immediately texted my mother and told her what a nasty freak her father was.
08:22Oh, my God.
08:23Yeah.
08:23Yeah, no, you shouldn't be telling me.
08:24I call it connecting.
08:28You might call it rough sex.
08:30I connected the hell out of her.
08:35No.
08:36Oh, yeah.
08:37I played Kinect 4 all night.
08:40Someone said, my grandma passed away, and we cleaned out her place, found all of her
08:44dildos and ball gags in her nightstand.
08:46Oh, man.
08:47You don't want to find grandma's ball gags.
08:49You don't want to find grandma's ball gags, guys.
08:51That's an even better band name.
08:53Please welcome grandma's ball gags.
08:55You're right.
08:56They are hardcore.
08:57Yeah, they are.
08:58Another one here, similar.
08:59The toddler went through grandpa's stuff after he passed away, found some big strap-ons
09:05and his pegging porn stash.
09:08Man, oh, man.
09:09Grandpa liked it up the pooper.
09:12Don't do this, Chuck.
09:14To what?
09:15Don't have a collection of things.
09:16No, don't, Chuck.
09:17Don't.
09:17You have to not have a collection of things.
09:19You could die at any time.
09:20Anyone can die at any time.
09:21But I think if you go a little lilly-booby, you might just be like, I'm getting myself what
09:26I know, what I wanted.
09:28Grandma always points out things shaped like penises.
09:31That looks like a dog.
09:33That's funny, actually.
09:34Very, uh...
09:35Oh, my God.
09:36A little old.
09:37That'll be Lisa when she starts to look at me.
09:40Penis.
09:41Penis.
09:41I won't be able to help it.
09:42Penis.
09:42Penis.
09:43Penis.
09:44Phallic.
09:46That's a phallus right there.
09:47That water bottle looks like a phallus.
09:52Next is Ryan.
09:53When did you realize your grandma or grandpa was still horny?
09:57So my...
09:58This happened fairly recently.
09:59My mother went down to Florida to visit my grandmother.
10:01She's 90 years old.
10:03They were at a dinner function of some sort.
10:04She had her new boyfriend with her and then a dude that was visiting from Massachusetts.
10:09My mother looks over and notices that my grandmother is, like, fondling this random dude that came and visited while sitting next to her new boyfriend.
10:19And the boyfriend could have known.
10:21I mean, how would you not notice this?
10:22She was fondling a random man's wiener at the diner?
10:25Yeah.
10:26Yeah.
10:27They were all clothed and it was like a family...
10:29It was like a dinner with friends and stuff and she was just going at it.
10:32Holy cow.
10:33That's crazy.
10:34I don't want to see it.
10:35And she's, like, 90 years old.
10:36She's so old.
10:37Oh, yeah.
10:38Everything.
10:39And he was like, I don't care.
10:41I don't let her jerk off a guy.
10:43I think it's super cool.
10:44My grandma didn't date after my grandma died.
10:46Oh, me too.
10:46I feel the exact same way.
10:48That would have been weird.
10:49She wasn't fondling men in diners.
10:50No.
10:51No.
10:51That's good.
10:52When my grandma died, we found five full boxes of women's Viagra and men's Viagra.
11:00Well, you're going to need us.
11:01Now, she could have just been doling it out and making sweet cash on the side.
11:06She's breaking bad for them.
11:08Yeah.
11:09Exactly.
11:10I make waterfalls happen.
11:13Very Irish grandma has been widowed since 1965.
11:19She would intentionally get pulled over because there was a cute police officer.
11:24Uh-oh.
11:25I guess I got a gun in here.
11:26I'm hiding drugs in me.
11:33Then she eventually tried to set me up with him because, as she said, he was delicious.
11:38Oh, wow.
11:39That's wild when, like, a grandma would be attracted to someone that you decided to date.
11:45Yeah.
11:46Like, oh, get him over here.
11:47Bring him over.
11:49Yeah.
11:50That's Euchre night.
11:52Jamie, when did you realize one of your grandparents was still horny?
11:55It was actually my great-grandmother.
11:58I used to go to New York to visit her every year.
12:02She lived to be about 108.
12:04Oh, that's amazing.
12:06Yeah.
12:06Anyway, so for, like, her 98th, 99th birthday, I would go up there, and we were all sitting
12:13in this dining room with, like, probably 12 other people in their late 90s on their deathbed.
12:20And her neighbor, old man, had his arm around another lady, and she points her fingers at him.
12:28She goes, do you see that old man over there sitting there?
12:32And we all say, yeah, Grandma.
12:34She goes, he is my neighbor, and I guess I just don't got it no more.
12:39She was so upset.
12:41Oh, the neighbor wasn't coming on to her.
12:46Wow.
12:46Goodness, 99, though.
12:48I mean, of course you don't got it.
12:50Well, yeah, 99.
12:50Yeah, but he was with all the other ladies there, right?
12:53Right.
12:54I feel like some of these old-timers, they clean it up in there.
12:58There's only one of them usually to choose from.
13:02And Mark's in Naples.
13:03Hey, Mark, when did you realize one of your grandparents was horny?
13:06Well, my step-brother and I were staying with them up in the cabin in Wisconsin.
13:11We were, like, 12 years old.
13:12And, like, in the middle of the night, all of a sudden we heard some noise, and my grandmother's
13:15name is Sylvia, and I heard my grandfather say, Jesus Christ, Sylvia, they look like fried
13:20eggs.
13:20Oh, God.
13:22Oh, no.
13:24Oh, no.
13:25Yeah.
13:26Nice thing for a 12-year-old to hear.
13:27Yeah.
13:28Oh, no.
13:28I thought it could be, like, a romantic thing, like, say, oh, you still look beautiful, Sylvia.
13:33No.
13:33No.
13:33Sometimes older guys just start calling it like they see it.
13:36The edit's gone, and they just say whatever.
13:38Yeah.
13:38They're just, they're, like, they're thrilled to see them, but they're, like, wow.
13:42Yeah.
13:43They'll just be, like, I can't have sex tonight, you're gross.
13:47They will.
13:48They'll just say it.
13:50I see my dad kind of do it all the time.
13:53It's not.
13:53Everyone's gross, though.
13:54Yeah.
13:55I know.
13:55Right?
13:56Come on.
13:56I know, but they're thinking back to better times.
13:58Yeah.
13:59We all are.
14:00Yeah.
14:00I guess.
14:01I'm sure.
14:01Right.
14:01For sure.
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