Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about when lap dances went wrong!
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00:00Man, Florida's effed up.
00:10Well, this guy in Florida was arrested for stealing a lap dance.
00:16Oh.
00:17That's tough to do.
00:18It's tough to pull off.
00:19Right.
00:19They usually get the money first.
00:21Yeah.
00:2227-year-old guy arrested about 2.44 in the morning the other day.
00:26He had gone to a gentleman's club.
00:30Got a lap dance, but then refused to pay the $40 fee at the end.
00:37God, they've gone up.
00:38$40?
00:38Gone up?
00:39I was going to say that's cheap.
00:41Oh, I remember going to places where they used to be like $10.
00:43Yeah, it was like $20 when I was working on them.
00:46I remember when it switched to $20 and I was like, well, I'll never go again.
00:48Yeah.
00:50I just was never like into lap dances.
00:55No.
00:56They're awkward.
00:57Strange.
00:57They're very awkward.
00:58They're awkward.
00:59It seems like it would be a strange thing.
00:59It is awkward.
01:00I had one and hated it.
01:01Like, I was like, this is, I feel bad.
01:03I was like, I don't like this.
01:05Uncomfortable.
01:05Yeah, it's so weird.
01:06You're talking to them and I'm like, you hate this, huh?
01:09Oh, yeah.
01:09I'm real gross.
01:10Sorry.
01:11Yeah.
01:12Once you humanize them and they're no longer just a sex object, it's different.
01:15He tried to leave.
01:16Yeah.
01:17He tried to leave, but you know how it works at strip clubs.
01:22A couple of people got them.
01:24Yeah, they'll stop you.
01:25Oh, they're big.
01:25Wait right there.
01:26Yeah.
01:26The manager called the cops and then they had him arrested.
01:31He's been charged with misdemeanor petty theft.
01:36He was booked into the county jail.
01:38He was released, coincidentally, after posting a $40 bond.
01:43Oh, yeah.
01:43He just had that $40.
01:46Should be free and clear after that.
01:48Just call it even.
01:49There is his mugshot there, which is up at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
01:54And if you can't see it there, it's through links at our social media pages as well.
01:58Yeah, like I remember when my co-worker did this at a strip joint.
02:03Tried to run after a lap dance?
02:05Didn't try.
02:07Legitimately just left without paying and was back there for a long time.
02:13And the bill was apparently $800 from the back room.
02:18Yeah, they make up those prices.
02:20And I was in Vegas.
02:21I spent $60 on one.
02:23I paid before.
02:24And then as soon as she was done two minutes later, she asked me to pay.
02:27Yeah, it's like you pay the fee.
02:30Part of it, they say, goes to the guy that's watching the door to the back room.
02:34And then some of it goes to the DJ.
02:36Yeah, well, I want the total price up front.
02:38Yeah, I had to pay twice.
02:39They said I didn't pay.
02:40Oh, wow.
02:41Yeah, you paid to get in there.
02:43And then they say, like, per song, they rack up new charges.
02:45Well, that's the thing.
02:46Yeah, it's the per song thing.
02:47After that first song ends, you better move your butt.
02:50What was it, a 30-second song?
02:51Yeah, they do.
02:52They are only about two minutes.
02:53They cut them down.
02:54Like 90 seconds.
02:55Yeah.
02:55I only ever got one.
02:57And she kept trying to put her titty in my mouth.
03:00That was the last time I ever tried.
03:03Oh, my God.
03:04Okay.
03:04She was trying to get it.
03:05She was breastfeeding you.
03:07I'm like, no.
03:08The one I got, the chick tried to, like, kind of, like, slide down my face a bit.
03:13Oh, yeah, yeah.
03:13And I was like, no, no.
03:15Yeah.
03:15I saw how to count your face.
03:17Yeah, I was like, whoa.
03:18No touching.
03:19Hands off, hands off.
03:21Yeah, you're like, hey, no touching.
03:22Hey, no touching.
03:23Yeah, you have to tell them.
03:25Yeah.
03:25You got to tell them.
03:27Yeah, see, where I grew up, there, you could not, there was not that type of interaction.
03:36There wasn't, like, a touchy interaction.
03:39So, stuff was a lot, I guess, less.
03:42I was not breastfed during mine.
03:43Gross.
03:43I was like, oh, yeah, no.
03:46That's funny to be like, no, thank you.
03:48No.
03:49Yes.
03:49I don't want that.
03:51Yeah, no.
03:53A lot of lap dance stories coming in.
03:55This guy said, I had to leave right in the middle of a lap dance.
03:58Lady smelt like the ocean.
04:00Oh, God.
04:02Well, that's a weird one.
04:03So, like, you know when, like, fish.
04:05Yeah, like that fish is dead on the beach.
04:07Oh, my God.
04:08You walk by it.
04:10Maybe she's a mermaid.
04:12I don't think so.
04:13I got one.
04:14She put her labia in my mouth.
04:17I believe this was, I had a close call with that.
04:19I think you did.
04:20I think you did.
04:22Forced funnalingas.
04:24Yeah, that's no good.
04:25You got to want to be there to do that.
04:27This lady said, when I danced, a lady that worked with us got paid several thousand dollars
04:33to peg a man in the back room.
04:36Oh, my God.
04:37That sounded so Jersey.
04:39Oh, my God.
04:40Oh, my God.
04:41Oh, my God.
04:42Sleddleweather.
04:43Yeah.
04:43Oh, God.
04:45She pegged him back then?
04:47Oh, my God.
04:48Oh, my God.
04:49Oh, God.
04:50Are you serious?
04:53Are you being for real?
04:56Took it to his back door.
04:58Thousands of dollars?
05:01God.
05:01I don't know where that came from.
05:03It just happens.
05:04That can just happen.
05:05It just happens.
05:06Sometimes G-A-W-D just slips right out of your mouth.
05:09God.
05:09God.
05:12It happens.
05:13Shocking.
05:14No one expects that.
05:15Like, they'd even have the gear ready to go for something like that.
05:18Yeah, that's why.
05:19He probably brought it.
05:20Oh, you're right.
05:21You know, when it's your thing, you bring it.
05:24When I was a stripper, I got paid $300 and a bucket of beer for this guy to just sit and
05:29play with my hair for a while.
05:31He had a huge hair fetish.
05:33That's so great.
05:34For $300 and a bucket of beer, play with my hair if you want, for God's sake.
05:39Okay.
05:39Let me write that down.
05:40Let's get, like, $300 and a bucket of beer.
05:42That's it.
05:42Let's go.
05:43I want some.
05:44Let's find a guy to play with Dave's hair.
05:46Oh, I didn't say that.
05:47Oh, no.
05:48I didn't say that.
05:49Yeah, no.
05:50That's what it is.
05:51I mean, I'm pretty short.
05:52It's a man.
05:53It's a man.
05:54There's a few men that would love to run their fingers through your hair.
05:57Okay, the price just went up.
05:58Yeah.
05:58Three of us and my group of friends went to a, crossed the border into Sarnia, Ontario
06:05to go to a strip club.
06:06Okay, bold move.
06:08That's what I like.
06:09And this coked up stripper shoved my finger up her backside.
06:13Right back there.
06:14That is my answer.
06:16You've been answered.
06:17I got my answer.
06:18Yep.
06:19You've been answered.
06:20Uh-huh.
06:21You ever been to a strip club there, Chuck?
06:24No, because I knew not to.
06:25Yeah.
06:25Like, I knew not to.
06:26If your finger's back there, I just don't know how you keep it.
06:31I'd go Yakuza style right away.
06:32You've got to cut it off as fast as possible, right?
06:34Yeah, like, get it off!
06:35Get it off!
06:36It's like being bit by a zombie.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:38You'd run right to the back.
06:39Yeah.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:40That's awful.
06:41Oh, my God.
06:43Had two strippers with a double-ended dildo.
06:46Mm-hmm.
06:47Mm-hmm.
06:47They asked me to hold it in my mouth, and then they asked me to say no without using any words.
06:55Mm-hmm.
06:57Yeah, there's a lot of that.
07:00Jason's just demonstrating how that would look, and that was graphic.
07:03Well, I didn't see it.
07:04Yeah, it was.
07:04I just bit on it.
07:06Yeah, it was very graphic.
07:09I think he was looking.
07:10Yeah, I know.
07:10Just practicing.
07:11You're just practicing.
07:13Yeah.
07:13Never know.
07:14Michelle is in Cape Coral.
07:16Michelle, we're talking about lap dances gone wrong, and yours was one from a guy, right?
07:21Yes, exactly.
07:22It was kind of interesting.
07:24I was at a bachelorette party, and the gentleman had me lay on the floor.
07:29Mm-hmm.
07:30He folded a dollar bill the long way, placed it on my nose, and took it off my face with his butt cheeks.
07:37Oh, Michelle.
07:38Some men are also talented.
07:40Right?
07:40You know, I was quite surprised.
07:43I wasn't expecting that, but I went with it.
07:45It was a good time.
07:46Yeah.
07:46It was a good time.
07:47You enjoyed it.
07:48That's a hell of a view to give a lady.
07:50Yeah.
07:51A man is coming at you.
07:52Be whole first.
07:53Most ladies would not enjoy that.
07:54No.
07:55Oh, God.
07:56Yeah.
07:56It was interesting.
07:57Yeah.
07:57Had a good time, though.
07:58Oh, good.
07:59There you go.
08:00I'm sure it was fun.
08:00Thanks for calling in.
08:01I want to know how that man psychs up before his gigs.
08:04I wonder if he's, like, looking in a mirror, and he's just like, man, he's like, you're
08:06a star.
08:07You're a star.
08:08You're a star.
08:09You're a star.
08:10Must be.
08:10All right.
08:10It's the same.
08:11That's how they do it.
08:12Boogie night style.
08:13We're talking about this guy that was arrested for stealing a lap dance in Clearwater, Florida,
08:19and when did a lap dance go wrong for you?
08:22Dave is in Windsor.
08:23Hi, Dave.
08:23What happened?
08:25Yeah.
08:25How you doing, guys?
08:26Good.
08:26So, getting back on this Sarnia topic, I was on a strip bar with my buddies in Sarnia.
08:32We were doing some work in Sarnia, and this girl was giving me a lap dance, and she proceeded
08:37to put her index finger and her middle finger inside her, you know, and she wiped her two
08:43fingers down the front of my glasses.
08:48Oh, my God.
08:50Oh, my God.
08:51That's horrible.
08:51The sky's went cloudy that day.
08:54What?
08:54That is awful.
08:55That is awful.
08:56What do you do with your badge glasses after that?
08:59You throw them out.
09:00I left.
09:01That's why I threw them out, yeah.
09:02You left with their smeared glasses?
09:04Could you see?
09:05Did you have any?
09:06Glasses are a lot of money, though.
09:07Yeah.
09:08I had contacts in the hotel.
09:10I threw my glasses away.
09:11Oh, my God.
09:13Last time I ever went to a strip bar.
09:14Last time I ever went.
09:15That's smart.
09:16What a move.
09:17Did she think that was sexy?
09:18No, she just hates men.
09:20Yeah, that's it.
09:21Yeah.
09:21I think it's funny to take the glasses off and, like, spray them and start wiping.
09:26You're like, Jesus.
09:28Oh, don't put them in your mouth.
09:30Yeah, don't breathe on it.
09:31No.
09:32No.
09:33Wow.
09:33No, this one part's not going.
09:35Oh.
09:36Poor guy.
09:36Had to lick that.
09:37No.
09:40Sarnia.
09:41Yeah.
09:41I told you guys.
09:43That is a...
09:43I never heard of such a thing.
09:45I know.
09:46Yeah.
09:46At least you wanted to know what it was like.
09:48I wanted to know.
09:48Now you've heard a couple stories now.
09:51Putting it all together.
09:51Yeah.
09:52Yeah.