Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an e-mail from a 70-year-old listener who hasn't used her "playground" in a while and is wondering if she should sleep with two of her 40-year-old co-workers who are pursuing her. The show thinks she's gotta give her bits a tune-up and imagine what that process is like.
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00:00I've got this email from an older listener.
00:07She says, hi, no name, please.
00:10I work with a lot of guys.
00:12I just turned 70.
00:14Okay.
00:15I'm in fairly good shape.
00:17Two of the 40-ish guys I work with are constantly asking me out.
00:23I'm widowed, and the playground has been closed for years.
00:28Sure.
00:28But they both keep telling me that it'll be awesome, but I'm not sure.
00:34Two?
00:35Two.
00:36Two.
00:3640-somethings.
00:38Oh.
00:41Good for you.
00:42I mean, if you're 70, I mean, if you've got it going on.
00:46She says, this is why I'm turning to you guys.
00:49It's extremely flattering to have the attention,
00:51but I'm terrified that getting naked with either one of them will go wrong.
00:56Turn the lights out.
00:57And then I'm thinking this weird thing in my head.
00:59Is there, like, some sort of side bet going on to see who can get the old lady naked?
01:03Who cares?
01:04What do you guys think I should do?
01:06I wish there were side bets.
01:09That'd be great.
01:10Side bets.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:11Chuck will take your side bet.
01:12Yeah.
01:12Yeah, it sounds kind of suspicious.
01:16I mean, if you want to get your playground fired up again, if it's been closed for years,
01:21then what's wrong with that?
01:24Right?
01:24Who cares?
01:25Do you care?
01:26Well, I could understand maybe, like, there's, like, just a hesitation.
01:30It's been a long time.
01:31You know, but I feel like it's, like, riding a bike, right?
01:36Yeah.
01:37You'd be able to figure it out.
01:38No, I mean, I don't think she's worried about feeling weird.
01:41And then, you know, she's just self-conscious about everything.
01:44Make sure there are no cameras around, too.
01:46Oh, God.
01:47I never even thought of that.
01:49You think they're maybe taping it?
01:51I doubt it.
01:52I doubt it, but I do think it's weird there's two of those dudes after.
01:55Yeah, I think so, too.
01:56There's something suspicious.
01:57Yeah.
01:57I just think there's a couple of horny dudes that are trying to bang the attractive older
02:01woman at work.
02:02You know?
02:02I mean, they might have something going on between the two of them, like, who can get
02:05her first?
02:06But I think it's just two horny dudes that want to bang an attractive older woman.
02:10Like, she means two, like, two separate guys.
02:13Like, it's not two guys want to tag team her, right?
02:15No, no, no.
02:16I think there's just two gentlemen callers that are trying to suit her.
02:22And, um, I think there is a thing sometimes about work where, uh, you know, like, you
02:31see someone all the time, like, uh, she might be really funny, right?
02:35You know, like, there might be something else there that these guys look, yeah, I'd do her.
02:40Um, I say slid it up.
02:41I mean, what, who cares?
02:43You're 70.
02:43Who cares if one of them, yeah, it's odd afterwards.
02:47If you want to have sex, that's if you want to, then go for it.
02:50If you find them attractive.
02:51If you have two guys that are into you, whether it's a bet or not, you're going to get laid.
02:55Yeah.
02:55Because something you've always wanted a man to do to you that's never happened and see
02:58which one of those guys will do it.
03:00Right.
03:01Whoa.
03:03Exactly.
03:04So just enjoy it.
03:05Which one are you two?
03:06If that's really what, if you want the playground open again.
03:10Yeah.
03:11You ever dine back there?
03:12Oh, God.
03:16Get after it.
03:17I think the playground being closed for a long time is a concern.
03:23Yeah.
03:23Like, I wondered about that, too.
03:25I did.
03:25I don't know.
03:26Let's make sure we, um...
03:27Let's make sure to...
03:28Let's visit the playground by yourself.
03:31Make sure the amusement...
03:31Exactly.
03:32Go into some training.
03:33Right.
03:33Yeah, like, make sure the rides work.
03:35Exactly.
03:35I just kept thinking, like, what's it going to take to fire that thing back up again?
03:39That's the...
03:39WD-40, WD-40.
03:41Like, people shoveling.
03:43Like, fueling.
03:44It's like the first time you're trying to start the snowblower for the season.
03:48A weed whacker.
03:49Exactly.
03:49A weed whacker.
03:50Let's get a weed whacker in there.
03:53Get that thing down.
03:54That, too.
03:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:55Got it hit.
03:55Weed whacker.
03:56You got to hope it's not still wood chips, you know, like the old school.
03:59Oh, yeah.
04:00Wood chips.
04:01Got to upgrade the floor and stuff.
04:04But, yes, I mean, I might...
04:06You know, I'm hoping that, you know, she still tests the waters down there.
04:15Nothing's going.
04:16I can't get this thing going.
04:17I can't get it going, for God's sakes.
04:21I hate this thing.
04:24It's a lot of smoke.
04:25A lot of smoke.
04:27Oh, God, I got to take it into the shop.
04:29Boil it hot.
04:33Yeah, yeah.
04:37Old school.
04:38Yeah.
04:43I like how now she's the tin man.
04:48It's working.
04:51God took me half an hour to get this thing going.
04:54Just keep trying.
04:55Is that the sound it should make?
05:06I don't know.
05:07I don't know.
05:08I haven't used it in years.
05:11Keep pulling on it.
05:12Okay.
05:13Oh, goodness.
05:24Now you're listening to the sound of a 70-year-old's vagina.
05:29Fire it up.
05:31Keep going.
05:32It's going to look like one of those photos of abandoned Olympic parks.
05:41I was putting that starter fluid stuff.
05:44Come on.
05:48Backfiring.
05:49It's backfiring.
05:50It's backfiring.
05:53Get some Beano.
05:54Push the choke.
05:56Yeah.
05:57Oh, I forgot.
05:58Forgot the choke.
06:00So go for it.
06:01As we said, warm things up, but go for it.
06:05Life's too short.
06:06If you really want to get laid again, you've got two guys who want to get into your playground.
06:11So go.
06:12Choose one and see how it goes, right?
06:14And then choose the other.
06:15Well, sure.
06:16If everything goes good.
06:18If you're having a good time, whore it up.
06:20And if you get real crazy, invite them both.
06:22Sure.
06:23Why not?
06:23Let us know how it goes.
06:24Yeah, please.
06:25Take a trip to the Eiffel Tower.
06:26Please.
06:26Once you get that thing fired up again, you let us know how.
06:30God, you should have heard what they thought it sounds like.
06:34Quite embarrassing.
06:37You even imagine?
06:38We appreciate you listening.
06:39Imagine it sounded like some kind of snowblower.
06:45From 1974.
06:48It's never been fired up.
06:50Imagine.
06:51We wish you well.
06:53If you ever want to reach us, if you've got old bits that need fired up or whatever it is,
06:58email at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
07:01We're **** on YouTube.
07:02E jotting no content.
07:04We're not biordo her point.
07:05We'll see you later.
07:06If you've got one Elder.
07:06We'll see you later.
07:07We're going to be going to take you later.
07:09Bye.
07:11I'll see you later.
07:12Bye.
07:17Bye.
07:17Bye.
07:18Bye.
07:18Bye.
07:19Bye.
07:19Bye.
07:21Bye-bye.
07:21Bye.
07:22Bye.
07:23Bye-bye.
07:24Bye.
07:25Bye-bye.
07:25Bye.
07:26Bye-bye.
07:26Bye-bye.
07:27Bye.
07:28Bye-bye.