Therapy Thursday: He Went Through Her Computer And Then He Broke Up With Her After What He Found!
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00:00Alright, Therapy Thursday is here. We're here to be of service. We got Dr. Davi, Meredith MD, Orlando BGYN, and your number to get in is 888-429-0941.
00:14Pull up. We got all kinds of answers for you. Some of them might even be right.
00:18And to the lady that was just on hold, I don't know, I think we lost her or something, or maybe she got cold feet.
00:23Call us back. Yeah, call us back.
00:25Is that your kind voice? Yeah, yeah.
00:27What happened to your voice right there? You're like, to the lady, call us back.
00:31Your voice scared her away.
00:33She had a question for Meredith.
00:34Alright, let's see. We got a Meredith question on here by Jerry. Jerry, you want to talk to Meredith? You got her. Go ahead.
00:41Hey, Meredith.
00:42Hey.
00:42I moved here in September of last year from Virginia, and my first two months of being in my apartment complex, I met a girl.
00:50She left her phone number on my van, and I hung out with her. We hit it off. It was really cool. We had a really great time. We clicked well.
00:57We took it a little further. We started hooking up and whatnot, and she wanted more.
01:02I didn't move here to get in a relationship, but I gave it a go anyway.
01:05So we didn't really, we weren't dating like girlfriend and boyfriend, but we were exclusive.
01:08She does OnlyFans, and I was on her computer, and I saw some things that I really was not okay with that she said she didn't do, but I saw that she did.
01:19And I shouldn't have been looking on her computer where I was, but I found it anyway.
01:22So since then, I broke it off kind of like, I don't want a relationship with you, but we are so tight.
01:29Like, we consider each other best friends, but she still has such strong feelings for me, and I really want to be there for her, like, her friend and everything.
01:35But it's hard for her to set her feelings aside, and I love her so much, and I love hanging out with her.
01:41And, you know, my whole friend group now is her friend group.
01:44Ah, she got mixed in.
01:46Yes, and it's hard to separate the two now because her feelings always come back up, and I'm like, how long do I have to, like, how long will her feelings be this strong for me?
01:55Like, will we ever be able to be just friends?
01:57Because any time another woman, like, I talk about other women or I go on dates, like, she blows up and it goes crazy.
02:03Okay.
02:03All right.
02:04I totally get it.
02:04I understand where you're coming from.
02:06You're giving mixed signals, first of all.
02:08You just said that you love her, but you don't want any, you want to stay friends.
02:12It sounds like you are, you know, like, your brain is telling you one thing, but your heart is telling you another.
02:17So I get that you want to remain friends and that you, you know, you wish you could just talk to her because you guys have such a solid relationship, just a friendship right now.
02:26But it sounds like somebody's got to be the bigger person, and it might have to be you.
02:29She still has very, very strong feelings towards you.
02:33You did just say I still love her.
02:35Love is a big word, and there's an emotional attachment when it comes along to it.
02:40So you're going to have to make the decision.
02:41And do you want to be friends with her?
02:43Because I don't think you can be friends with somebody that's still in love with you.
02:47That's rough.
02:47That's rough for you.
02:48Love, not like a love, like love is a friend type.
02:51You can mean it how you want to mean it, but a girl that's feeling you is going to hear it her way.
02:56So I would leave that alone.
02:58You can be platonic as hell, but she's hearing love.
03:02Because we say that, we'll say like I love you as a friend.
03:05She means something else.
03:06Stop that.
03:07Stop that.
03:07And you're kind of leading her on a little bit.
03:09You're experiencing one thing with her, but then you're telling her another.
03:13So if you really just want to remain friends, you know, there's no texting all night long.
03:17You know, you really don't do that with.
03:18There's no I love you's either.
03:19There's no I love you's at all.
03:20Cut it out.
03:21Break the whole thing.
03:22If you don't like it, break the whole thing.
03:23You're going to be talking about other ladies, break that off.
03:25She's on OnlyFans, and it sounds like she was doing some stuff you didn't like, so that's not going to stop either.
03:29So this relationship is not going to work out.
03:30Can we point out the fact that you're not supposed to snoop because you are the case study of that?
03:35You were enjoying Pound Town, and then you snooped and ruined it because you learned too much.
03:39But what she was doing on OnlyFans was you was getting the benefit from.
03:43So you really shouldn't have snooped, and you kind of messed that up, dog.
03:46So that's a good case study right there.
03:49That's 100%.
03:49And, you know, she said the same thing.
03:51Like, you can't.
03:52I never told her that was the reason, but she brought it up.
03:55Like, you cannot be upset for me because OnlyFans, because it pays for everything we do.
03:59And let me just say, she spoiled me.
04:01Oh, yeah.
04:02And you messed it up.
04:03Snooping.
04:03So you should have stayed out of there.
04:04All right.
04:05There you go.
04:06He could have messed it up, but I bet you he's happy he found out.
04:09It's true.
04:09Jerry, do what you got to do, but get out of that situation.
04:11I hate my son's friends.
04:13His same friends from the neighborhood are the same kids he hangs out with in school.
04:17He's 14, and they're influencing him negatively.
04:20What should I do?
04:21I can't really ban him from hanging with them because they're at school and in the neighborhood, like I said.
04:26But I would like to.
04:28By Davi's mother.
04:32And his name is Davi.
04:34I will say anything that you ban from your kids makes it sexier.
04:40It makes it more appealing.
04:42And so you put that energy on those kids, you're going to build them up and build their status up in your kid's mind.
04:49Because anything that's not parental is fun.
04:53Anything that's not rules is great.
04:56And so what you got to do is maybe just as these kids start showing their real blemishes, point those out to your kid and just say, I'm so glad.
05:07Reiterate how glad you are.
05:08Your kid is different in pointing out their flaws.
05:11Because you can be like, I'm so blessed to have you as a child because you see that kid right there in them handcuffs.
05:17Like, I ain't have to deal with you this way.
05:19Or you see that kid walking around sniffing all the time and whatever.
05:22We don't know what he's doing.
05:24That's a mess.
05:25And separate it from your kid.
05:26Your kid is still good.
05:28Stay gold, pony boy.
05:30Make him watch outsiders.
05:31Make him watch things like that that separate, you know, the bad side from the good.
05:36And big him up for the good parts that you've built in him.
05:40Like, separate him from the masses.
05:42And then as you keep doing that, he'll start to see the separation between the two.
05:46And while he still loves his crew, he won't get so immersed in it.
05:51A good explanation of you are who you hang out with.
05:53You are who you hang with.
05:55Definitely.
05:55Question for Dr. Davi.
05:57Are you ready?
05:57Yeah, I'm ready.
05:58Let's see.
05:59Andrea is on the phone.
06:00How you doing this morning?
06:01Hey, good.
06:02How are you guys?
06:03Pretty good.
06:03You got a question for Dr. Davi.
06:05He is ready for you.
06:07I do.
06:08Davi, so I have a 17-year-old son.
06:11And he, I know you own a tattoo shop.
06:13I know you don't have children right now.
06:14However, he's my youngest, my baby, the only boy.
06:17But he's had like a half-sleeve tattoo since he was 15.
06:20He had some things happen in 2020.
06:23And it's helped him, you know, build confidence.
06:25And it's also, you know, helped him heal through certain things.
06:28And now, though, he wants a neck tattoo, which I'm not on board for right now.
06:35Right.
06:35So I don't think that's happening.
06:37But my question to you is, honestly, people need to mind the business.
06:42But as a business owner, since for Tattoo Shop in particular, what are your takes or thoughts on that if a parent brings someone, a child in, you know, and wants this done?
06:52Um, it's definitely not out of the norm.
06:56I would try to dissuade him from the neck tattoo.
06:59I would stay against that for a number of reasons that we both know.
07:05Maybe, you know, he's 17.
07:07He's going to be 18 soon.
07:09He'll be able to do it himself.
07:11So maybe if he's dead set on a tat, maybe start working on his other arm or finish his current sleeve or something.
07:19Definitely try to not – don't encourage him to do the neck tattoo.
07:24She'll want that.
07:25Yeah.
07:25He's so young for all of this.
07:27Am I the only one that thinks – I know it's – I know I need to mind my business, but he's so young.
07:31I mean, I was 18 with a half sleeve.
07:33And it honestly didn't stop me from all the things that everybody told me it would stop me from doing.
07:39They've become a little bit, you know, a lot more acceptable and different jobs have loosened their requirements.
07:45But the neck tattoo could be a game changer.
07:47So I would hold off on that.
07:50Orlando, why are you looking like that?
07:51Why are you stretching your face off?
07:52I was not asked, so I'm not going to say anything.
07:55But I'm just – I'm going to be quiet.
07:57No, go ahead.
07:59I just – I mean, it's just hard for me to see that you are bucking against a tattoo when you gave the pass on it at 15.
08:07Like, you let it happen at 15.
08:08So it's like the neck tattoo.
08:10Now he's like, Mom, when did you become this prude?
08:12Like, hello.
08:13Let's ink up.
08:14Like, you let him ink up at 15.
08:15It's kind of hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
08:19Right.
08:20I agree 100%.
08:21I do feel like that is my fault.
08:22Let's have a question.
08:23And I know – and Meredith, I understand.
08:25And Orlando, you have girls.
08:27And Meredith, and I have two older girls, 23 and 22, who have tattoos that they waited later in life as well.
08:34But I just want to know your thoughts.
08:35I get it.
08:36Like, why – it's, like, hypocritical, right?
08:38Like, okay, I'm okay with this, but –
08:39No, it's not hypocritical.
08:41It's just you open the door to it, so now he's ready to graduate and go up to it a little further.
08:46And that's – the pace is kind of throwing you off.
08:48So it's not – it's not, you know, not hypocritical, but it is something that you kind of allowed to get in.
08:54Now, I will, you know, maybe say be vocal with him and say, hey, wait until you get into your career path or something in there like that
09:00before you start putting stuff that's visible above the collar line.
09:03Yeah, as somebody with 50 – over 50 tattoos, I would say that not all tattoos in the placement are equal.
09:10So maybe something he can hide, maybe something he can cover.
09:12Not the neck.
09:12Definitely not the neck.
09:14Not the neck.
09:14Now he got a lot of them, over 50, but when he has to do a wedding, them things cover them.
09:19Yes, yes.
09:21Well, he does have – I mean, to be honest, I'm not – he has got one, I didn't know, with his homeboys and got one behind, like, his ear, and I was not okay with that.
09:30See, that's what you got to teach him.
09:32And them homeboys will get you a disease.
09:33Don't do that.
09:34Don't do that.
09:35Keep it where it's got the state board, you know, certification.
09:38Right.
09:38All right, mama.
09:39Go ahead, girl.
09:40I appreciate you.
09:41Wow.
09:41All right.
09:42That's tough.
09:42Let's see here.
09:43We got one for you, Meredith.
09:46Okay.
09:47It says, Dr. Meredith, my wife is starting to do physical fitness thing again, but this time she feels she could get better results from a male trainer.
09:57I don't like that.
09:58I don't need any dude who's not her pops or her brother or me building up my girl because I know what happens next.
10:07I told her I would pay for it if she picked a female trainer, and she told me it's okay, she'll pay for it.
10:12But what does that say if I'm voicing my opinion and my disapproval and it's being ignored?
10:20Well, there should be mutual respect in said relationship, whatever relationship you're in.
10:24If your man comes to you and says he feels uncomfortable, it's all how you say it.
10:27Okay?
10:28You shouldn't tell somebody what to do and say no and put your foot down.
10:33You should just explain, like, hey, this makes me feel uncomfortable.
10:35I would prefer.
10:36I would love to help pay for it, blah, blah, blah.
10:38You can't make her do something that she wants.
10:40I mean, you can't force somebody.
10:41She's a human being.
10:42She can make her own decision.
10:44I would hope that she would respect your wishes because that's how you feel, but you don't need to be so controlling of somebody else.
10:50And you know what?
10:50I really don't.
10:51I look down on people that try to control your partners all the time.
10:56She's a big girl.
10:57She can make her own decisions, and she can finance herself.
11:00So if you came from a different angle and sat down with her and be a human being for a second and explain from a different aspect that you just don't like it because you don't want another man getting that close to her or, you know, maybe touching her in a certain way, then maybe she would see your side.
11:14But when you just come off like you're a parent, that's not cool.
11:17That's not cool.
11:18If I may add something to this dude, this is not about the trainer at all.
11:23This is about you trying to control her, and she's pushing back.
11:27She's drawing a line in the sand saying, hey, we have boundaries, and this is one for me.
11:33You can't control this part of my life.
11:35So this pushback, if it's not the trainer, it's going to be something else.
11:40You have a strong woman on your hands that's not going to let you just treat her like however you want to.
11:45Put up with that.
11:46Is it okay for a man not to like the fact that another man is doing something personal with his girl?
11:51Yes.
11:51Is that okay?
11:52Of course you cannot like it.
11:53Just word it better?
11:54Yes.
11:54You have to come off from, yeah.
11:56Yeah, don't try and use the money.
11:57Don't try and use the purse strings as a thing.
11:59Like, hey, because he thought that would fix it.
12:01And she's like, I got my own money, folks.
12:02By the way, everybody can read right through that.
12:04You're just trying to control somebody.
12:07If he would have said it differently, I bet she probably would have been okay with the female trainer.
12:12But the fact that he tried to just force her on.
12:14Now I'm a kid, and now I just want to disobey my parents.
12:18Now I want the most muscular, hottest trainer in the gym.
12:21Please don't.
12:22No, don't go get him.
12:23I already booked the appointment.
12:24No, those are the dudes that bang your girl.
12:26I already said it's a positive.
12:27We don't want that.
12:28All right?
12:28Dwayne.
12:29Orlando and the Freak Show.
12:30Every Thursday is a wrap, people.
12:32All right?
12:32We got more coming up with your team.
12:34All right.
12:34All right.
12:34All right.