Therapy Thursday: A Guy Said He Has 3 Girls Interested In Him At The Same Time. We Told Him He's A Hoe!
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00:00Hi, it's Therapy Thursday.
00:02Dr. Dobby, Meredith, MD, Orlando, BGYN all in here to give you what we got,
00:07which is sometimes brilliant and sometimes not.
00:10I'm worried about you guys today.
00:12Listen, don't worry about us.
00:13We did A-Rod right.
00:15I don't think you did.
00:16I think he is happy with his co-pack.
00:19All right, so we got questions that are asked of us.
00:23We try and do it in the 60-second session.
00:25You pick a doctor, you get one of us.
00:27Or if you want all of us, go ahead.
00:29All right?
00:30888-429-0941.
00:32We got a handful of them that have already come in.
00:35Meredith, you're up first.
00:36Okay.
00:37Therapy Thursday for Meredith.
00:38My wife told me that I don't call her pretty enough.
00:43I always say that she looks cute.
00:45Can you explain to me what the difference is and why I'm catching hell?
00:49That's out of the 813.
00:50All right, this is going to be easy.
00:52This is one of her love languages.
00:54If you don't know that, what a love language is.
00:56Book written by Gary Chapman.
00:58And just to dumb it down for you, it's one of the most important things to her as an individual being in a relationship with you is a compliment.
01:06So instead of just saying, you know, she looks cute or she just looks pretty, name one or two particular things that interest you or that make her pretty.
01:16Like, pick her eyes or her body or her figure or pick her mind, you know, something like that.
01:21She wants to know more specifics about what you like about her instead of just saying, hey, you look cute.
01:27Because it's just very passive if you just always say the same thing.
01:30On the other hand, you know, you don't always have to give a compliment.
01:33I mean, you shouldn't have to be there just to be her support every single day to make her feel better about herself.
01:40She should always be able to do that too.
01:41So he said, my wife told me that I don't call her pretty and I always say she looks cute.
01:47Isn't that the same thing?
01:49Cute could be like, oh, like, it's childish almost.
01:53Pretty could be like you put effort into the way you look.
01:56Again, I would pick a couple of specific things about her appearance and go from there.
02:02Be more particular about the compliment instead of just saying cute.
02:05Don't make it childish.
02:07Put a little bit more effort into your compliment.
02:09If you call your girl cute, she alright with that?
02:11She's definitely okay with it, but everybody's different.
02:13And I think this is just one of the most simple changes that you could do.
02:18And if it makes your girl happy, just in the back of your head, just use the word pretty.
02:22She seems to like that more than cute for whatever reason.
02:26It's got more weight to it.
02:27It does.
02:28Cute seems very casual.
02:29Cute is like, oh, you're alright.
02:30You pulled it together.
02:32Pretty is like, you've been pretty for a while.
02:36Pretty people are pretty.
02:38Cute people can pull together cute.
02:39You got a cute, that's a cute little outfit.
02:42But pretty.
02:43Pretty, you were born that way.
02:44That's a little bit more, you know what I'm saying?
02:45That's a little bit more like from the earth.
02:47Yeah.
02:47Yeah, alright.
02:48Okay.
02:48Out the 727, it says, my baby daddy and I have been together since we were 13 and 16.
02:54We now have more than seven kids together that we've birthed, and we have still not gotten
02:59married, even though we talk about it, and I think it will never happen.
03:03Or, am I holding my breath for something?
03:05That's not going to happen.
03:07I do want us to get married, but I feel like, in all due respect, that's his job.
03:12Okay.
03:13Let me just tell you, y'all not.
03:15Are we keeping it 100?
03:17We're keeping it 100?
03:17I can tell where you're going with that hurt my soul.
03:20I just got to tell her.
03:22Alright.
03:23You're not getting married.
03:24You're not getting married?
03:25You're not getting married.
03:26And why is that?
03:27Because you've already done the most.
03:30Like, you got seven kids.
03:31Unless he gets to a point where he's like, alright, I'm done.
03:35Like, with the game.
03:37Like, you know, whatever.
03:38Not that he's out there doing anything, but he doesn't have to marry you because you guys
03:44have built the entire seven kids.
03:47Y'all have built the entire, like, army of family.
03:51You've microwaved a family instead of crockpotting it.
03:55Like, you didn't slow brew it and cook it.
03:58You microwaved it and jumped into the family world.
04:01And now, you're hoping that he reverses when he doesn't necessarily have to because you're
04:06kind of stuck with seven children.
04:09Right.
04:10And not saying you're stuck meaning you don't love that experience.
04:13Right.
04:13In your situation.
04:14But, it's not the pressure on him to get married.
04:18Davi has more pressure because everybody gives him the pressure because he's been with his
04:22girl so long without the ring.
04:24But there's no, if they had, you had seven kids, he wouldn't be that fast to go get married
04:29because he'd be like, where are you going to go?
04:30Yeah, what's the point?
04:31Who going to?
04:32He would think that.
04:33Who going to take seven?
04:34And you eight, eight people.
04:37I'm good.
04:37So, I'm just being honest.
04:40These two have been together for so long.
04:41They've been together since they were teenagers.
04:44And now, they're very comfortable, or he is very comfortable where they're at.
04:48And all these other kids got there and life happened.
04:52Life happened.
04:53So, him spending money for a wedding is probably on the bottom of the list.
04:58Absolutely.
04:58So, you have to reiterate how important that is.
05:00It is to you.
05:01You might have to put on a bunch of the work that you say you think is his responsibility.
05:06If it's that important, you might need to go ahead and handle a lot of those kids' responsibilities.
05:09Do you think she should propose?
05:11Not propose.
05:12Okay, but you said responsibilities.
05:14Not propose, but push it forward.
05:16No.
05:16How is she going to push it forward?
05:17Don't let him just stalemate it.
05:18He knows.
05:18Keep bringing it up.
05:19They're not getting married.
05:20They're not getting married?
05:21They are married.
05:22They are.
05:22They definitely are married.
05:23If you lived together for seven years, your common law marriage, you got seven kids.
05:27That's a common law marriage.
05:29That's the same transition.
05:30That translation, if you can live together for seven years and the law looks at you as
05:35married, I'm pretty sure there's a chapter somewhere in that if you got seven kids, y'all
05:40marry.
05:41I'm hopeful.
05:41Don't nobody want you in these streets.
05:43I think at this point, it's probably more of a financial thing because the commitment
05:46is already there.
05:47He's not going anywhere.
05:48You just got to show him that you're not trying to drop $50,000 on something crazy.
05:53We can do this in a manageable setting.
05:55That's exactly what I'm saying because the commitment is there.
05:58I'm locked in.
05:59I'm with my family.
06:01We don't need that piece of paper, baby.
06:03We already got the fam.
06:04That's what I'm saying.
06:05So, Davi thinks that he said he feels married already.
06:09I don't even understand how that goes.
06:11He almost died when he laughed.
06:13Wait.
06:14You say you almost feel married because you're so committed.
06:17Right.
06:17Yeah.
06:18We in there so long sharing, splitting bills and building houses and all that stuff.
06:23So, why?
06:23Yeah.
06:24Exactly.
06:25So, why would you need the piece of paper?
06:27I don't need it.
06:28Davi.
06:28If it's important to her.
06:30We damn near married already.
06:31If I mess up, I still got to pay her something.
06:33What if she said you were not getting kids without it?
06:38Oh, damn.
06:42Okay.
06:43No wedding, no kids.
06:44All right.
06:45There you go.
06:46Party in my house.
06:47That's the deal right there.
06:49Apparently, you negotiating, baby?
06:51All right.
06:51All right.
06:52Okay.
06:53All right.
06:53We got more of your queries.
06:55Let's see here.
06:56I rarely agree with Meredith until now.
06:58Nailed the love language, by the way.
06:59Oh, thanks.
07:00They agree with you.
07:01All right.
07:01Let's see.
07:02Anyone can help with this one, but I'm stuck between going to school for a home health aid
07:07or going to school for skin care like an esthetician would do.
07:12Stuck, please.
07:13I would like your input.
07:15Health aid.
07:16What is like a-
07:17Health aid is like somebody who handles elderly people at the house, like a home aid type of
07:22person.
07:22There's always a job for that, especially in the state of Florida.
07:25Everybody old here.
07:27Right.
07:27Yeah.
07:27And needing help.
07:28The estheticians are everywhere.
07:30Every girl out there with an Instagram filter thinks she an esthetician.
07:33Yeah.
07:34I would say do the home health care thing as your career and do the esthetician home
07:39on the side.
07:40Yeah.
07:40That's a hustle.
07:41That's going to be your side hustle.
07:42Yeah.
07:42Absolutely.
07:43You can do both.
07:43Yeah.
07:44And also-
07:44We know a lot of people do a side hustle.
07:46We really do.
07:48We know a bunch of them.
07:50Don't let that be what you get on your taxes.
07:53Right.
07:53Yes.
07:53You know, do that on the side.
07:54Plus, you can do that, the nursing home type of situation if you want to, and it could
07:59be very high-end.
08:00You could do it for very high-end people, and you could only have one patient, by the
08:04way.
08:04So, it's not just working for 20 patients.
08:06But you go where you got, like, more of an option for return, and old people here,
08:12that's like a gold rush.
08:14Yeah.
08:14You'll always have a job.
08:15You can do anything around being healthy.
08:17That's true.
08:17Yeah, do that.
08:18And health insurance, by the way.
08:19Right.
08:20I mean, that's a big deal.
08:21And most of the estheticians I know are bartenders at night.
08:24Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
08:26It's a side hustle.
08:27It's a side hustle.
08:28All right.
08:29This ain't my job, y'all.
08:30You crazy.
08:31You ain't that much skin out there.
08:32I got one for you guys.
08:33Hi there.
08:34I was living in Austria when I met my boyfriend.
08:36He was in the U.S. Air Force and stationed in Italy at the time.
08:40We dated a while, and he had to go back.
08:42He said, I should join him, otherwise we should just break up.
08:45So I packed up everything, moved to the U.S., leaving one daughter who's 19 in Austria, and
08:51then taking one with me.
08:52We got married.
08:53I've been here for nearly two years, and I absolutely hate it.
08:56I miss my daughter.
08:57I miss my friends.
08:58I miss my country.
08:59I don't like his family.
09:00I'm miserable.
09:01I feel trapped.
09:02He's changed as well.
09:04He doesn't work out.
09:05He drinks a lot.
09:06He doesn't take care of himself anymore.
09:07And I want to leave, but I just don't know where to start.
09:09Should I actually try, since I'm here, and make it work, or should I just leave?
09:15But I'll let y'all handle that one.
09:17I don't want to break up another home.
09:18Leave.
09:19Okay.
09:20I say leave.
09:21The situation with the guy you're with who's doing all these bad things that you just listed,
09:26too many to even mention, it's probably not going to get better.
09:29You have a daughter that you left, so you definitely have-
09:32An adult daughter, though.
09:33She's 19.
09:34Okay.
09:34It ain't like she was making her eggs.
09:37You know what I'm saying?
09:38I was just saying that you have something or some-
09:40You have a life back there that you could go back to.
09:44Don't feel trapped, and don't feel like just because I came, I have to stick it out, even
09:49how bad the situation gets.
09:52I think now you could still almost get out while you're ahead.
09:56She's a citizen, though, right?
09:57Because she got married?
09:59Yeah.
09:59So yeah, go back.
10:01If you don't like it, you can always come back to the U.S.
10:03I just think people get impulsive on their moves.
10:06I know a friend of ours moved to Vegas, and then two days, three days, I don't know,
10:10it might have been a couple weeks, but she moved back.
10:12And I was like, yo, you moved your whole, you got rid of everything and moved across
10:16the country.
10:16So that's, it's hard to go backwards.
10:18Like, you know, she made a valiant effort to come here and try and get that thing working.
10:23It ain't working.
10:24So honestly, it ain't like it's going to get better.
10:27You're just going to end up settling, and you never should settle.
10:29So ultimately, go home.
10:31I would say in America.
10:33Go home.
10:34Go back to Austria.
10:35She said she missed her country.
10:36Visit your family.
10:37You missed your country, go home to your country.
10:39Yes.
10:40You can go home.
10:40Come back if you want.
10:41You can always go home.
10:43All right, what else we got?
10:44Out the 813, it says, I have an ex, and we broke up about a year ago.
10:48He was a hoe.
10:49But other than that, he did his duties in the household.
10:55But it seems like we keep talking, but not lovey-dovey or anything.
11:00But he was my Valentine's Day date.
11:02We hook up here and there.
11:04And I kind of want to make a move to ask him about dating because I don't know.
11:08But it feels stupid, and it feels like I'm coming back to each other would be a bad move.
11:15What do you think?
11:15He's a hoe.
11:16He's a hoe.
11:17Yeah.
11:18And you're sure of that.
11:19If you're sure of that, then that already is your answer.
11:22He's doing what he has to do to get it.
11:24You just happen to be one of the rest stops on his highway.
11:29He's a hoe, so every highway is available.
11:32You know, he's able to park wherever he wants to park.
11:34Right.
11:35But when he has nowhere to park, you're there.
11:38And you feel stupid about it because you're hoping that it's something else.
11:42But you just got to, if you can make a decision and say, you know what?
11:45I don't mind being your hoe.
11:46Because being you got a relationship, I know what it is.
11:49Fine.
11:49My number doesn't go up.
11:50If that's what you believe, and maybe you did body count math, which means something to the ladies.
11:55Like, you're not adding to your body count.
11:56Whatever it is that you're making feel okay in your head, basically, if you can be good with that, then you're good.
12:04But if you want more, now you're trying to change somebody's soul.
12:08Yeah, don't expect him to change.
12:09It's only been a year.
12:10She's under the spell of that good good.
12:13Because him being a hoe means that he gets a lot of practice.
12:17And practice makes perfect.
12:18And you dematized.
12:19And if you read between the lines, she said he did handle his duties in the household.
12:28Which means he would break her back on the regular.
12:31And she misses that.
12:33And she is caught under his spell.
12:36He took out the trash and stuff, too.
12:38But yeah, the back breaking was a part of it.
12:40There were some backs broken.
12:41Yeah, yeah.
12:42So she's caught up in that.
12:44Are we going to sing it?
12:45Use a hoe.
12:46Ho!
12:46That's what it is.
12:49This isn't a long-term relationship guy.
12:51This is a guy to have fun with, to call on Valentine's Day, on your birthday, and things like that.
12:55All guys want to sleep with their ex if they have the opportunity.
12:57Don't let him.
12:58All right, here's one.
13:00Dr. Davi, I've been single for three years after my relationship ended.
13:05And when she linked up with somebody, I got in my feelings and started shooting my shot with a couple people online.
13:12Like three different chicks.
13:14And I put in work, but nothing came of it.
13:16It's okay.
13:16Now I got a girl who's showing interest in me, and it looks all good.
13:22Like, I'm thinking this could be my next girlfriend.
13:24But now two of the three chicks that I was hollering at trying to shoot my shot are trying to get together.
13:31I guess their situation's changed.
13:32Yeah.
13:33It's almost like I have to at least see what they're about, right?
13:37You do.
13:38Help me.
13:39Yeah, you do.
13:40You have to see what everybody's about.
13:42Davi!
13:42You have to play the field.
13:43But how are you going to find your fish in the ocean if you don't look at all the fish?
13:48But looking isn't – that's not bad.
13:53And you know what?
13:54You can't be going to, like, taste all the sushi, though.
13:57Here's the thing.
13:57Here's the thing.
13:58Man, taste that sushi.
13:59Here's the thing.
13:59Those two girls that you hit up that didn't hit you back right away, those are good girls.
14:04Because they had a situation going on that they didn't want to respect their current situation.
14:09But when it changed, they still had you in the back of their mind and they reached out.
14:13Those right there, those are prospects.
14:15Also, the one that did reach out that you linked up with, that's a prospect, too.
14:20Dude, this math is so easy for Davi.
14:23Look, do you think the Tampa Bay Rays have one player that might be an all-star?
14:28No.
14:28They're building a whole farm team.
14:30They have double-A, single-A, triple-A.
14:33That's what you need.
14:34You need options.
14:35You need leagues.
14:36Can he get them jerseys?
14:37Yeah, get them jerseys.
14:38You need different tiers.
14:40Like, this one right here, this one could be a keeper.
14:43Okay, so he should go have fun.
14:44Go have fun, homeboy.
14:46But wait, though, wait, though.
14:47Because, I mean, the thing is, he said this girl could be his next girlfriend.
14:51But you don't know that.
14:52Right.
14:52But she was in.
14:54She was in.
14:55It's almost like you have a job available.
14:57Somebody said, hey, that's the price that I want to be paid.
14:59I'll take the job.
15:00Right.
15:01But then two people you talked to beforehand.
15:03Now, you're getting ready to hire this person.
15:05Y'all are in talks.
15:06That's okay.
15:06And then all of a sudden, two people pop in in the interview process.
15:10You're like, oh, but I wanted you, but I already talked to this person.
15:12We haven't made our final decision.
15:14Are we window shopping here, or are we trying stuff on?
15:17Oh, we could, I mean, we could try it on if we like how, we want to see how it fits.
15:23Like a glove.
15:25It's going to fit good.
15:27It's going to fit good.
15:28I'm going to tell you, because I'm a firm believer that when you make a choice.
15:33Yes.
15:33And choose a relationship, the karma world, the mother nature, or whoever.
15:40Yeah.
15:41Brings back every good fitting situation into your life to test you.
15:46Right.
15:46And they bring it all.
15:48Yeah.
15:48And I feel like this is a good guy.
15:51So once you make that decision, that's it.
15:54And you have to live with your choice.
15:56But until then, keep your options on the table and shop around.
16:00Okay.
16:00All right.
16:01Fine.
16:01Dobby.
16:02Jeez.
16:03Damn.
16:03Dobby's a hoe.
16:05A hoe.
16:06He's a hoe.
16:07All right.
16:08Therapy Thursday is a wrap.