Therapy Thursday: A Woman Went Through Her Man's Phone And Found Out He's Been Sending The Heart Eyes Emoji. Should She Be Wo...
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00:00Which therapist you need? Therapy Thursday. Now on Wild 94.1. I understand therapy. Hi everybody. Hi Dr. Nick. Alright Therapy Thursday. That's where we answer your questions and queries. Dr. Davi, Meredith MD, Orlando BGYN. We are here to be your doctors. 60 second sessions. Any question will give you the straight. Sometimes it's a good answer. Sometimes it's not something you want to hear. Yeah. But it's just, you know, it's showing you the talking is working it out. So what we got?
00:28Um, this one actually came in earlier this morning out the 813 for you Orlando. Okay. It says, Hey guys, I really want your opinion on something. I bought my now fiance a $6,000 ring and surprised her with the engagement in a family photo shoot. And then after everything, it has been great. Except for I just realized that she still says boyfriend to all her friends and family and people that she talks to. I feel like it might be a small thing, but it really bothers me.
00:56And I want to know whether I should be bothered or is this normal.
01:00You can't control how you feel. So you can, you know, you can be bothered if you want to, but I mean, there is some, some sort of understanding about that.
01:08Like there are, there are people who have gotten together and they have not gotten used to saying fiance or like, I know everybody has had the conversation of, man, it feels so weird to say that.
01:19Or, Oh, I'm just getting used to saying that. Or, or, or when they become your husband or your wife and it's hard to say that too. So, so that's part of it.
01:27The other part is you might've took too long to, to, to do this proposal.
01:32You know, there's a possibility of that too. Like, you know, like she might be just letting you know, like I, you're still boyfriend until we get to cross this aisle.
01:40Oh, so it might not change until the actual wedding.
01:43There's a possibility. Cause I mean, if you have, have you proposed before?
01:47Do you, you said took family pictures. So have you, have I, have you, have I given you a bunch of babies?
01:52You know what I'm saying? There's, there's, there's, there's always some sort of explanation, whether it's on the side of accidental or more likely a message behind it.
02:03And it might be, you got to look, assess where you are in your relationship.
02:06That would hurt my feelings.
02:08I don't think it should hurt you. It should just say, you know, there's more trust that's needed.
02:14Like you can, some people give you a ring and they think, okay, so everything is good now.
02:18And they're like, no, you cheated. You got caught. You went and bought me a ring.
02:21I gave you four kids. Now everything, I'm supposed to be calling you my fiance.
02:25I don't really trust you that much. So let's walk through this a little bit.
02:28Okay. So you have to assess the stuff that you didn't say in the text.
02:32I had real, real quick. I had, um, a woman showing me a house yesterday and I asked her,
02:37she had a big ring on her finger and I asked her, do you and your husband live in this neighborhood?
02:40And she says, me and my boyfriend get married in July.
02:46She checked me real quick.
02:47There you go. She's like, that's not my husband.
02:49Yeah.
02:49That's not my husband yet.
02:50But I like the word fiance. I don't know.
02:52Fiance is a good middle ground.
02:53That's a good French word.
02:54If you're French, it's an awesome word.
02:57All right. I got one for Davi.
03:00I searched through my husband's phone.
03:02That was your first mistake.
03:03Okay.
03:03Break one.
03:04A couple of times.
03:06And I noticed he has responded to a couple of girls with the emoji,
03:09smiley face with hearts as eyes.
03:13I'm pissed.
03:14Of course, but I can't say anything because then I have to admit that I went through his phone.
03:18What can I do?
03:19I'm bothered.
03:20I definitely am.
03:21I wouldn't mind talking about it.
03:24I've been caring for him.
03:26I guess he injured himself.
03:29So this just kind of feels like a shot at her.
03:32I hope you're bothered.
03:34I think being bothered is what you get for checking that man's phone.
03:39Heart eye emojis are not cheating.
03:41Yeah.
03:42Heart eye emojis are not breaking a trust.
03:46Heart, I'll tell you, heart eye emojis are awe.
03:50Awe.
03:50That's what that is.
03:51All he was saying was awe.
03:52Awe.
03:52Because it's not, I would never say awe to Davi.
03:54Of course not.
03:55But there's hearts.
03:55So I've never had to send Davi a smiley face with a heart on it.
04:00But I've said awe to you.
04:01Yeah.
04:02Yeah.
04:02And I could send you a smiley face and with a heart on it.
04:05If I see a picture of Aubrey and Olivia and they hugged up and I say, and I send you a
04:10heart thing, I'm not hearting you.
04:11It means like, I love that.
04:13I love that.
04:13That's what you said.
04:15Right.
04:15That's awesome.
04:15That picture of you.
04:17Yeah.
04:17I love that.
04:18That's feels.
04:19You stay out of that man's phone.
04:20Yeah.
04:21Okay.
04:21But besides that.
04:22There is no besides that.
04:23Davi, she's worried about this.
04:25Okay.
04:25I don't, I don't think you, you have to worry.
04:27I don't think you have anything to worry about.
04:29I don't either.
04:29A little heart, a little heart eye emoji here and there.
04:32It's not that big a deal.
04:33Let it go.
04:34Stay out of the phone and anything you're searching for that you find is going to be
04:38bigger and magnified.
04:40Yeah.
04:40And it's just all smiley face with eyes.
04:42It's not a big deal, but because you found it in his phone while you were snooping and
04:46needed justification of finding something.
04:48Yeah.
04:49Now you treated it like you'd have found the secret files from Donald Trump's tax.
04:55That ain't all of it.
04:58I'm catching hell right now because they don't like the fact that the, the heart eyes,
05:04this emoji is being called all.
05:07That's just, listen, that's just in my studies at university upstairs, medical college.
05:12In your travels.
05:13That's what I've learned.
05:15That's what that means.
05:16Also, I'm being accused about Trump's taxes.
05:19They like, I sound like a hater.
05:20No, I was saying you treat something like finding that smiley face.
05:24Like you found this infamous secret, right?
05:27Like the stuff, the newspapers and everybody keep talking about.
05:30You broke the story.
05:31Oh my Lord.
05:32I found his, a box of his taxes.
05:34Yeah.
05:34Like, you know what I'm saying?
05:35Like it's a smiley face with a heart on it.
05:37Well, unless that's followed behind, you fine, girl.
05:41Don't trip.
05:42We're getting there though a little.
05:43Nah, just, all right.
05:45Davi, you got one.
05:46Okay.
05:47It says, Dr. Davi, how can I date when I don't trust people?
05:53After crappy, I'll say relationships, everything I start ends up with me not trusting them.
06:00Sometimes I'm right about it and sometimes I'm wrong, but it's a constant now.
06:04How do I get out of not trusting?
06:06This sounds like the classic, you can't love somebody else until you learn how to love yourself.
06:12I think there's, there's probably some issues and some baggage from, you know, previous heartache
06:18and relationships that would probably need to be addressed before you could think about
06:23jumping into like a productive, you know, long-term sustainable relationship.
06:29So maybe try to figure out where those insecurities like really originate from, address that,
06:36you know, there's some trauma or something that you're holding onto from, from the past.
06:41So I would say work, work on that and the relationship side will usually just kind of fall into place.
06:47Like you, a lot of times you'll find it when, when you're least expecting it.
06:51So I would say right now, just focus on, on you more, more than us or the potential of jumping
06:57into something new.
06:58There you go.
06:59So the translation is don't date.
07:00The first question, first question was how can I date when I don't trust people?
07:04Well, you can't work on yourself.
07:08So stop dating.
07:10Stop wasting your opportunities.
07:12Like this video game only gives you four times to play and you killing your life, man.
07:17You know what I'm saying?
07:19By the time you get all your issues fixed, you mess around and nobody wants to date you now.
07:24No.
07:25All right.
07:25What else?
07:25I got one for you.
07:26Yes.
07:28Okay.
07:28I was hanging out with a good friend who I used to talk to pre-COVID and we would hang
07:33out frequently.
07:33Recently, she has suggested that this summer we start doing things, trips and activities
07:37and bring our husbands along too.
07:39Talk, good talk.
07:40The problem is that I really don't care for her husband.
07:43Anytime we've been around him, he's rude.
07:45He has made very rude, douchey comments, not even about her or me.
07:48It's about my kids too and makes me feel uncomfortable.
07:51I think he's just one of those people that thinks he can just be funny, but he's not.
07:55I also know the way he acts is not going to mix well with my husband.
08:00I don't want anything to jeopardize my friendship with my friend, but I would love to do more
08:04with her, but I really don't want to hang out with her husband.
08:06Is it wrong for me to just hang out with her?
08:09What do I do?
08:10How do I handle the situation?
08:12You know what?
08:12Honestly, I'm going to flip the script on this.
08:15You need to back up.
08:16I know everybody likes tact and everybody likes people be polished or whatever, but everybody's
08:22crew got a booger, a pooter, an animal, an ox, or somebody who is the gruff, wrong side
08:29of the tracks, I eat with the wrong fork dude.
08:32And some of those people are fun.
08:34Like you mess around and go on a trip with somebody named Booger, you might mess around
08:38and have a few stories.
08:40You know what I'm saying?
08:40It might not be the person you want to be like walking through Paris with, but it might
08:45be the person you want to go to Crystal River with, with the families.
08:48Maybe you make a good brisket.
08:49You know what I'm saying?
08:50Man, so look at people for what they bring to the table.
08:52Stop picking and choosing like A&R on an album.
08:54People A&R their friendships.
08:56Like you got to have this perfection.
08:57You got to be this perfect.
08:59You got to be this, that, and the other.
09:00If your husband gets along with him and they talk good man talking, let them do that.
09:06This person ain't got to be polished up for you.
09:09Like, you know, enjoy the family as a unit.
09:11Never pair off with the dude because you don't enjoy him.
09:14I've been around people, honestly, in the last 10, 12 years that I don't really like.
09:19Like, you know what I'm saying?
09:20Like, I mean, like people who are associated with other people who come through and I'm
09:23like, yo, I could be in the same space.
09:25I'm an adult, but I ain't going to invite you anywhere.
09:28We only go see each other at these junctures.
09:30So let them live.
09:30Yeah.
09:31You're not going to spend time in random conversations.
09:33Fun, stupid people.
09:34Got to be able to be fun, stupid people.
09:36I like that advice.
09:37But being on vacation, close proximity to somebody like that, I see where she's coming from.
09:40If you in an RV, everything's equated to the van for you.
09:43What are you talking about?
09:45I'm just saying everybody ain't in a van.
09:46Man, somebody got on a plane and went somewhere.
09:49I got a room.
09:49You got a room.
09:50I don't care.
09:51We're on a boat.
09:51You got a suite.
09:52I got a suite.
09:53Just don't share a house.
09:54Don't rent a house together.
09:54Don't rent a house together.
09:55There you go.
09:56There you go.
09:56Let's just, you know, just bury a space away.
09:58Okay.
09:58I like it.
09:58Out the 813 for Meredith.
10:00It says, so my fiance plays semi-pro football and he's constantly having to fly to a different
10:06state to practice with his brother and his team.
10:09I know he's annoyed of having to fly because I don't want to leave my family here in Tampa.
10:14What should I do?
10:14I love you guys.
10:16Oh, well, I mean, you're married into a family that's, you know, athletes.
10:19So you got to get used to that life and that schedule.
10:21Um, I, I personally, I can't be with somebody that's constantly traveling and away from me
10:28and the family.
10:29That's me personally, just because I grew up like that.
10:31So if you're realizing now that you don't like that schedule, it's not that it's too
10:36late, but it might be for a certain amount of time.
10:39So you kind of got to suck it up for the time being.
10:42Um, a lot of people deal with this military families, um, you know, list goes on and on
10:45people that work in sales.
10:46So, um, as long as there's constant contact and like, uh, zoom calls and, and all that
10:51stuff.
10:52And you know, his itinerary and schedule, that way you can keep up with where he is and what
10:55he's doing.
10:57Yeah.
10:58He just lost us.
10:58But athletes have itineraries.
11:00So as long as you guys can share somewhat of a calendar, that way, you know, when you
11:03can zoom call like our dinner time or stuff, like what are you trying to see?
11:07Like I'm trying to like follow somebody.
11:08That's what it sounds like.
11:09No, I know.
11:10You got to check in with you with the schedule every weekend.
11:13You use the word itinerary.
11:14Seek up your calendar.
11:15Itinerary.
11:16My relationship ain't never going to have the word itinerary.
11:18Yeah, you're on a roll.
11:19Yeah.
11:19You was killing it.
11:21Seek up your calendars.
11:22Yeah, nah.
11:23Your Google calendars.
11:23We're not seeking up calendars.
11:25What?
11:26Married couples do that.
11:28True to God.
11:28We ain't doing that.
11:29We got married.
11:30Y'all been hurt before.
11:32I can just tell.
11:33I'm not seeking up nothing with you.
11:35No.
11:36Calendars.
11:37Not got an alert because you get a pedicure every 30 minutes.
11:40No, no, no.
11:41I'm like, we're married to those.
11:43I mean, you drink it.
11:44What's wrong with that?
11:45No, hell no.
11:46Seeking up my calendar.
11:47Okay, sorry.
11:49Can you sync up your itinerary with my itinerary?
11:52We need to break up.
11:53It's 5 o'clock.
11:53Your itinerary has not been submitted yet.
11:56You must be sending heart emojis.
11:59I regret that comment immediately.
12:02I'm sorry.
12:04Gosh.
12:05Well, I like the fact that you said, like, the military and everything else.
12:08Like, his job, you married into that.
12:11Yes.
12:11Suck it up for now.
12:12You got an athlete for a man, and especially if he's making, you know, more bread.
12:16If you have something that can move and he's making money, you got to back him up.
12:19Because I got to tell you, he messed around to get drafted.
12:23He's now in the Super Bowl with the next run at the Buccaneers.
12:26He's getting picked up.
12:28Now you want to be there for everything.
12:29You have to be supportive.
12:30Now you want to be there for everything.
12:32But where were you when it was a struggle?
12:33When it wasn't sexy and we was in the hack and sack books and stuff, and we was running
12:38around in minor leagues or whatever, where was you at then?
12:40I was here with my mama.
12:42Right.
12:43I was here with my mama.
12:44Well, you know what?
12:44Then your mama going to take you to the Super Bowl then.
12:47You got a man to be a part of it.
12:49I totally agree.
12:50Be supportive.
12:51I mean, it's not going to last forever.
12:52We all know that that's for a short amount of time.
12:56I like the way you closed that out, Meredith.
12:57Yeah, with your itinerant.
13:00I didn't do anything wrong.
13:02It's convenient to sync up your calendars.
13:04You lost our vote.
13:05I'll Google calendars sync up.
13:06I think you need to lose that parking space that we got for you right now.
13:10You check yourself.
13:11All right.
13:11Listen, do we got one more?
13:12Yeah, we got more.
13:13Let's grab one more.
13:15Good morning, Freak Show.
13:16I am in a same-sex interracial marriage, and we have an eight-year-old black son.
13:22My son was a participant of a local Pop Warner football team, and the head coach made several
13:29offensive and racial comments.
13:32And I was physically threatened by another parent.
13:36I placed formal complaint, and it escalated, and in result, we were unjustly voted out
13:41of the league.
13:42My wife thinks I should let it go, but I can't let it go that easily.
13:47What do you think I should do?
13:48Ooh, that's a lot.
13:49Ooh, is this one for all of us?
13:50This one is Freak Show.
13:52Okay.
13:53Okay, listen.
13:54I understand you want to be treated fairly, but everything ain't got to be a normal Ray,
14:01like, we got to have a revolt type thing.
14:03That's probably why they voted you out.
14:05They're like, yo.
14:06Like, I mean, because fighting another parent, that's normal in sports.
14:09Is it normal?
14:10Parents be out there going at it.
14:11Okay.
14:12So, I mean, you don't want to be fighting, but I'm saying it happened.
14:15It seems like, from the text, the initial thing was offensive comments made from an
14:22adult to their son.
14:23Which is something you have to speak to.
14:25Yeah.
14:25You can't let somebody talk about it.
14:27Now, there are, I mean, sadly, there are a different thing.
14:31It depends on how old that coach is.
14:33Older.
14:34Some people are older, and they say stuff that's sideways, and you allow them a little
14:39leeway because they're older.
14:41And then you got young people who just ain't thinking.
14:43So, you got to look at the age of the coach and the experience of the coach.
14:46You still got to check them, but you know where it's coming from.
14:50Older people got closed minds about stuff because they grew up in the wrong time.
14:55You can't tell an old man that somebody spit in his face every Friday that now everything
15:00cool.
15:00Like, you know, he don't see it that way.
15:02You know, so, and he is not long for this world because he's not going to make it.
15:07Yeah.
15:07Because it is supposed to be cool.
15:08It's supposed to be even.
15:09So, he's having a hard time letting this go.
15:11His wife thinks he should.
15:12No, no, it's a wife.
15:14It's a wife and a wife.
15:15Oh, I'm sorry.
15:16No, no.
15:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:17You're right.
15:17You're right.
15:18Same sex, interracial marriage.
15:19Same sex.
15:19Okay.
15:19Can they talk about it?
15:21Or a husband and a husband.
15:22I don't know.
15:22It could be either.
15:24Okay.
15:24It could be either.
15:25So, the partner thinks they should let it go.
15:27Do you think it's time to just find another football league?
15:30But think about it.
15:31If you would have addressed it and let it go, you might have still been in that league
15:35you wanted to be in.
15:36Sometimes, it is an all-in boycott moment.
15:40That's all I'm saying.
15:41You have to pick and choose.
15:41And probably, your partner that knows everything y'all went through is the person you should
15:45ask.
15:46Right.
15:46Like, you're a co-pilot with me.
15:48That's true.
15:48So, should I ride with this?
15:49I think you should let it go.
15:50Yeah.
15:51Damn that.
15:51I'm going to ride.
15:52And then, why are you asking?
15:54You're going to make a decision.
15:55Yeah.
15:56And your partner probably saw ways that you could have handled it differently.
16:00Right.
16:00Because they're already looking at us like, we the same sex.
16:03We're the oddities.
16:04And then, now we sensitive about our son.
16:07And on top of that, you out here trying to fight somebody else's mama.
16:11Like, you know, like, that's three strikes.
16:13You've got to lead the league.
16:14Also, what's beneficial for the kid?
16:15Is he really successful at the league that he's in?
16:18Are we going to take this person out and then start fresh?
16:20Start something new?
16:21What are we going to do?
16:21You can always check a coach because some coaches go too far.
16:25Some coaches ain't.
16:26It's a new league.
16:27Maybe they're acting too comfortable with your kid.
16:29You could have spoke to that and maybe addressed it a different way than raging out.
16:33Okay.
16:34So, talk to your partner.
16:36The way you wrote us, sit down and listen to your partner instead of just, you know.
16:40Right in the free ship.
16:40Moving forward.
16:42Yeah.
16:42I mean, you know, because you might mess around and get an itinerary.
16:44We'll see you next time.
16:45We'll see you next time.
16:46Bye.
16:46Bye.
16:46Bye.
16:46Bye.
16:47Bye.
16:47Bye.
16:48Bye.