Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a story out of Fort Myers involving a "loose bowel bandit" who pooped in someone's home after breaking into the place. What's more important is trying to figure out whether it was the news crew or homeowner that captured the turd footage for the news segment.
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00:00Man, Florida is effed up.
00:10A loose-boweled bandit is on the run in Southwest Florida.
00:16Easy to follow.
00:17Yeah.
00:18Dead giveaway.
00:19Yeah.
00:20Someone broke into a Fort Myers mobile home and left behind poop on two days.
00:30Two different occasions.
00:32Same poop.
00:33Have they run the DNA?
00:34I don't know if they've run the DNA.
00:36Test the DNA.
00:38Let's find out what's happening here as we get the story from Fort Myers and NBC2.
00:43Let's take a listen in.
00:44It all started this past Friday here at this home.
00:47The family renting says someone broke into their lanai and left a crappy surprise in the corner.
00:52They've grown their lanai.
00:53The family is petrified the serial pooper will return, so they didn't want to speak on TV.
00:57However, they did say that person also broke this window to get inside.
01:02500 bucks cash and some fruit was stolen.
01:04That wasn't it, though.
01:05The deceitful dumper came back for round two of number two.
01:09Oh, okay.
01:11At some point Monday, they broke in through this window and went straight to the master bedroom.
01:15It's here where they left their second smelly surprise.
01:18Oh, God.
01:19Jeez.
01:20Disgusting.
01:21I'm looking feces.
01:22A human **** on the person's property.
01:27This is not normal for somebody to do that.
01:30If it's not weird enough for you, the person put this shirt over it.
01:33Jesus.
01:34Are you kidding?
01:35They're just doing things.
01:36Oh, the roaches.
01:37Leaving little presents behind, you know?
01:40Here's my question.
01:41Did the camera guy and reporter, Gage Golding, did he lift that shirt off that poop twice?
01:46He made someone do it.
01:47I think he's his own cameraman, so I believe he did it to get the shot.
01:51To get the full turd.
01:53He's like the Spielberg of the News.
01:54Did they leave it?
01:55Did they leave it?
01:56That had to be the person who owns the house, right?
01:58That can't be Gage.
02:00I think it's Gage.
02:01You think they had the homeowner lift up and then they left it there?
02:04They didn't leave it there for days to wait for the news to come.
02:07That's what I was just remembering.
02:08No, no, no, no, no, the Friday was the first time.
02:11This was the second time.
02:12This just happened.
02:14Yeah, but...
02:14And they called the news.
02:15You got to call the news and wait for them to come over.
02:17Yeah, you called the news, the turd's there, and you're like, hey, news, you got to see
02:23this.
02:23The turd is right there.
02:24Hurry before it melts.
02:25Or you take a video.
02:27Share it with the news.
02:27Right, I think they probably took a video.
02:29I don't know.
02:30That's the news?
02:32Look at the house.
02:32I know, guys.
02:33The turd fits right in on the floor, no offense.
02:35They're having like eight different angles of the turd, the news camera guy.
02:38those angles not the homeowner i feel like they i don't know i feel like they left it yeah they
02:44they called the news right away to say hey this is the second time someone's pooped here get over
02:48right over of course i just i don't know that's a bit far-fetched to me i'm lying on the ground to
02:56get a shot of a turd as the homeowner and i believe dave you can see evidence of the wiping
03:01on the shirt possibly down there and maybe up up there no okay there's some residue for sure yeah
03:08let's watch it again and see if we think that i think the whole big no okay let's see let's look
03:13at all the angles to see if you think an average person would have got these turd angles okay here
03:18we go the deceitful duffer came back from number two what do you think it's like ken burns or
03:24something i don't know because people don't do that when they're doing a floral pan you don't
03:28have a floral pan like a muse comes into the room yeah that's a that's like a movie scooter like a
03:34camera scooter i'm looking at feces a human that's that's a new shot the flies are flying around yeah
03:41normal i mean maybe unless the reporter pooped on the one unless yeah that's it gauge dropped the deuce
03:47to recreate it yeah you better recreate the deuce he's a method reporter i need a shirt and some fiber
03:54cereal gauge will deuce i i will almost guarantee i'll put a d guarantee on that that's news camera
04:00foot double stamp that d guarantee dave i'm with you i'm with you well then somebody needs to get
04:05gauge out of there because he's doing no that's real bad hashtag save gauge he's doing gate listen
04:11gauge is doing all this so he gets out well he is he goes up in attics he's sweating his balls off
04:16yeah you know we've seen him do all sorts of things he's trying to get out of there and i don't
04:20blame is gage the shiny guy yeah he does good he does good work you do good work gage he does
04:26he tried you do good work we appreciate your reporting but i don't know i'd love to talk to
04:30him about that turn exactly and ask him if he like hey do you did you have to record all the
04:36turds yourself story of your gage your work beyond gage listen andy from david chuck the freak
04:44i'm trying to come up with answers i don't mean to tweet at you out of the blue but uh
04:50i really need to know if that turd was real or if you recreated it hey i'm sitting here in detroit
04:59i'll wait for your response because it did look like possibly someone just
05:03you hear me gage you want me to message him yeah all right i'm gonna message him here we go and the
05:09debate the morning show split hey it's me and you against everybody else i mean like i'm because
05:15i'm in my mind i can't imagine people just leaving poop on the floor till the news till the news got
05:20there that's i just don't see it i don't want to believe it these are people that were bothered by
05:25the poop i feel like no one lives there for a newscaster isn't going to call the news about
05:29poop but what if they called the news and the news was like leave the turtle alone yeah we need it for
05:35the stories don't touch it we'll be there we're gonna find out we're gonna find out yes a hundred
05:40percent do not touch the turn do not i would say i would not let you touch it don't don't
05:47we smell an emmy with this story leave that turtle alone as soon as my dog would poop in the house
05:51it is like all all out to get all the poop out of the house but it's not a crime lisa this is a crime
05:58i'll come over and poop in your house i bet you change your mind you can save it and put it in
06:02a container you are letting people see hey look what's happening you take a photo yourself you
06:06have a maybe there was a shirt over top of it that's enough we're having a debate on the
06:14listen i'm the producer of the second if you could just leave that crap there
06:19trust me he was like don't touch it so you want me to leave the poop there on the floor yes
06:23right where the loose the loose stool bandit dropped it we're gonna set gauge down there right
06:27away all right well it's getting real stinky we're gonna sit outside trust me
06:30he's an emmy award-winning reporter but that's how you win an emmy dave you record poop you get
06:36the turd you pay attention to the details no matter what happens you get that turd like i understand
06:41like a single shot it could have been a photo and then they could have just panned over the photo they
06:46use that technology or whatever this was done by a professional but you can tell there's too many
06:50shots of it how many shots would you take of the poop how many shots would you take of the poop would
06:57you get down on the ground the way he did do i get an emmy you should and the emmy for best turd
07:04coverage goes to andy green i'm just saying none of you guys would do it that's why you don't have an
07:11emmy there's like 27 different angles of this poop i don't have an emmy that's it that's why go watch
07:18the report judge for yourself and see is that news turd or fake turd yeah i think it's totally i think
07:27the homeowner yeah you guys think the whole news crew worked just him he is the whole news crew let's
07:35be honest he's the whole news crew though i just love that he's starting his day was 8 30 so he's like
07:40oh man got a big day of gage news hopefully there's no trailer send him an email send their
07:46email too check twitter hey did you have to get the footage of that trailer turd if so yeah we want
07:51he's like god who are these idiots i'm gonna know i'm an emmy award-winning journalist
07:58there's two yahoos that they put on a couple stations we'll let you know if we hear back from
08:03gage whether or not that was his footage or let us know dave when you hear back for sure break in
08:09break in that break in relationship with gage