MJTV: MJ Actually Watched Celebrity Big Brother Last Night... What Did He Think?
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00All right, should I give it one more shot tonight?
00:01One more shot tonight.
00:02One more shot.
00:03All right, all right, all right, all right.
00:05No.
00:06All right.
00:11Of all four of you guys, there are two of you
00:16whom apparently are addicted to this.
00:21And I stumbled upon it last night,
00:23and I guess it turns out that this was the new season premiere
00:27of Celebrity Big Brother.
00:30So I was just sitting in the living room,
00:32just doing some prep.
00:33Laptop.
00:33I forgot.
00:34I know.
00:36Laptop in my lap, and I'm going through the channels,
00:38and I'm like, whoa, it's Celebrity Big Brother.
00:42And it had just come on.
00:44And then I hit the little info thing on my TiVo,
00:47and it said season premiere, season whatever.
00:50Big Brother.
00:51And I'm like, all right, I'll tell you what.
00:55I'm going to watch this thing.
00:56I'm going to give it a shot.
00:58Now, I had seen some of the old Big Brothers
01:00when they first came on the air years and years ago,
01:04and it was never kind of my thing.
01:06Oh, so good.
01:06But Fester and Coop are obsessed.
01:11Fester and our producer, Coop, they even have a podcast.
01:15They have a weekly podcast about Celebrity Big Brother.
01:19New episodes every Monday and Friday, by the way.
01:21Starting again?
01:22And by the way, average downloads?
01:24Seven.
01:25About.
01:25Okay, killing it.
01:27You guys are so off on our downloads.
01:28We broke into the 20s multiple times last year.
01:33Talk about a niche.
01:34Talk about one show on TV.
01:36So I decided, you know what?
01:38I know that Coop and Fester are obsessed with Celebrity Big Brother.
01:41They have a podcast.
01:42That's all they talk about.
01:44And you know what?
01:45I'm going to give this a shot.
01:46So last night, was it 8 o'clock?
01:508 o'clock on CBS.
01:52On CBS.
01:548 o'clock, I say, you know what?
01:55I'm going to watch this thing.
01:56Guys, I gave it 37 minutes and 30 seconds.
02:00And what did you think?
02:01You couldn't even sit through the whole thing?
02:03No, I couldn't.
02:04Dude, that was so unfair.
02:05Guys, it was terrible.
02:06It was the introduction show.
02:07I have no...
02:08No, you can't watch the introduction show.
02:11Why?
02:11Because that's just when they talk about each character.
02:13Hold on.
02:13You can't base the whole show on the...
02:1537...
02:16Has everybody...
02:17Was everybody even in the house after 37 minutes?
02:20Fester, how old are you?
02:2140-something.
02:2246?
02:2346?
02:2447?
02:2447.
02:24How old are you?
02:2674.
02:26So what is that?
02:27What is that?
02:29Take Roxanne's age and add 10.
02:31That's what I am.
02:3148?
02:32You'll be 48 this year.
02:34Yes.
02:35All right.
02:36Wow.
02:37Yeah.
02:37Good math.
02:38So, I tried to watch it, and Fester's, you know, 48-year-old, and you're obsessed with
02:44this show?
02:45This is a good show.
02:46What does that matter about his age?
02:47Yeah.
02:47People love that.
02:48Big Brother's for all ages.
02:49Come on.
02:50It's childish.
02:51You can't possibly be in the demographic for Big Brother on CBS.
02:54There's people who grew up...
02:56Like, Coop grew up with the show.
02:58Yeah.
02:58MJ, this is a great show.
03:00Big Brother is the best reality show.
03:03It's better than Survivor.
03:04It's real.
03:05It's better than Amazing Race.
03:06First of all, the celebrity.
03:07There are a couple that are somewhat interesting, and the rest just blow.
03:11What do you mean?
03:13What was that?
03:14Go over the list of celebrities.
03:17Sorry.
03:17I'm just really offended.
03:19So, in alphabetical order.
03:21Right.
03:21Okay.
03:22Carson Kressley?
03:23Who the hell is that?
03:24What?
03:24Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
03:26Yeah, seriously.
03:27I never saw...
03:28I'm aware of it, but I never saw Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
03:31What is it called?
03:32The original incarnation of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was, like, in 2005.
03:37Okay.
03:38But he has been, like, a celebrity kind of...
03:40He's like a celebrity for no reason.
03:42All right.
03:42A little over the...
03:43Celebrity?
03:43He's on E.
03:44A little over the top for me.
03:45All right.
03:46I love him.
03:46All right.
03:46Next.
03:47Chris Kattan.
03:48All right.
03:48Chris Kattan's good.
03:49You know him.
03:49Yeah, of course.
03:50Chris Kattan was on Saturday Night Live.
03:52He did the...
03:53What was that?
03:53The goat.
03:53He was a goat.
03:54That little monkey thing he did?
03:55He did the monkey.
03:56He did the goat.
03:56That was Jim Brewer.
03:57He did...
03:58No, the goat was Jim Brewer.
03:59The goat was Jim Brewer.
04:00Yeah, you're wrong.
04:00Yeah, you're wrong.
04:01Yes.
04:01So, uh...
04:02Wrong animal.
04:02What was the...
04:03Mango.
04:04He did...
04:05He did mango.
04:05That little monkey thing.
04:07Right.
04:07Didn't he eat paper?
04:09Yeah.
04:09Also...
04:09Then goats eat paper.
04:10That's why I thought that.
04:11All right.
04:11So, here's the deal.
04:12Also, Chris Kattan was with Will Ferrell...
04:15Night at the Roxbury.
04:16Will Ferrell in Night at the Roxbury.
04:18Right.
04:18Now, what is going on with Chris Kattan?
04:20Man, when I saw him on TV last night, I quickly Googled his age.
04:25I thought he was like 67 years old with really bad face-crippling plastic surgery.
04:32How did he look?
04:32But he's only 51 years old, but his jaw and his mouth moves like Jigsaw in that horror movie.
04:39I mean, what's going on with him?
04:41He's also really short.
04:42It's like he's shrunk.
04:43But he's got a...
04:44He's got like a back hump, but then he's got a front hump, too.
04:48I don't...
04:48What the heck?
04:49I don't know.
04:50Is he morphing?
04:51I don't know what's going on with Chris Kattan, but it looked like he was like disfigured
04:55in some kind of a...
04:56Is that Misha Tate?
04:58We'll get into it.
04:59Yeah, that's Misha Tate.
05:00Sorry.
05:00Froggy, calm down.
05:01I'm a big fan of hers.
05:02But did you see like his jaw moves, but his face...
05:05It's just weird.
05:07And he was talking like this.
05:10He sounded like Beavis and Butthead.
05:12I mean, what is the...
05:13Hey, Chris Kattan.
05:14He looked like a troll.
05:17Like he lived in...
05:18He did.
05:18He was hushback.
05:19Yeah, a little.
05:19Like a Lord of the Rings.
05:21Is he turning into mango?
05:23I don't know, but I thought he was in like three billy goats gruff or something.
05:26You're going to feel bad when I tell you this, but he was in an...
05:29He broke his neck and injured his spinal cord during an episode of SNL back in 2001.
05:35That's right.
05:35So maybe it's starting to like shape his body now.
05:38He broke his neck on an episode of SNL.
05:40Listen, I got to move quickly here.
05:42Oh, and then the guy from NSYNC.
05:46Who amazingly looks like a troll as well.
05:51I thought it was like, you were in NSYNC, dude.
05:53Look at you now.
05:55Celebrity Big Brother got the least significant guy from NSYNC.
05:58They got...
05:59No, nobody knew who he was.
06:00They get...
06:01Nobody knew who he was.
06:02So celebrity Big Brother gets the guy from NSYNC that nobody remembers or knows.
06:06Who are you?
06:06Chris Kirkpatrick.
06:08That's who's on...
06:09All right.
06:09So next, I have no idea who Cynthia Bailey is.
06:12She is on Housewives of Atlanta.
06:14Housewives.
06:14So obviously, I know who Lamar Odom is, a basketball player, you know, years...
06:19With a Kardashian.
06:20Well, married to which Kardashian?
06:22Khloe.
06:23Okay.
06:23And then, of course, he had like a drug problem.
06:25He had numerous meltdowns.
06:26So Lamar Odom is on.
06:27Now, who the hell is Misha Tate?
06:29She's a UFC fighter.
06:30She'll kill anybody in that house.
06:31Froggy, who's Misha Tate?
06:33She is a UFC fighter that is super attractive, I think.
06:36So she's a female UFC fighter.
06:38And spoiler alert, she's this week's head of household.
06:41Oh, okay.
06:41She won the HOA.
06:42She'll die you up, boy.
06:43Then you have Mariah Nagasoo.
06:47Who's that?
06:47So every year when they do Celebrity Big Brother, they try to throw in a couple of Olympians.
06:52She's an ice skater.
06:53She was a figure skater.
06:54I guess she brought home the bronze at like the last Winter Olympics.
06:59Is that Shayna?
06:59Yeah, Shayna Moakler.
07:01Travis Barker's ex-wife?
07:03Yes.
07:03Okay.
07:04So Moakler's on the show, and she just looks like she's had way too much plastic surgery.
07:10Of course.
07:10It is out of control.
07:11It's like, you know, the deal with plastic surgery is you want to, if you have surgery,
07:16you don't want to make it look like you've had plastic surgery.
07:18And it's like she went out of the way to make it look like her face and everything.
07:22All right.
07:22So next is, who the heck is Teddy?
07:25Oh.
07:25I love her.
07:25It's John's daughter.
07:26I love her.
07:26It is.
07:27Yeah.
07:27So Teddy Mellencamp, I saw the intro.
07:30So Teddy Mellencamp is on Celebrity Big Brother, and it's John Mellencamp's daughter, and she
07:35was also on one of the housewives.
07:36She's one of, I think the housewives of L.A.
07:38Yeah, Beverly Hills.
07:39And of course I know who this is, Todd Bridges.
07:42What you talking about, Willis?
07:43So Todd Bridges is on Celebrity Big Brother, and his deal was, I remember that when I was
07:59in Los Angeles back in the early 90s, he was like found in a crack house and somebody got
08:04shot.
08:05I mean, it was crazy.
08:08It's going to be an unstable group.
08:10Yeah, and who's Todrick Hall?
08:12I have no idea who that is.
08:13Todrick Hall is big on the drag queen scene, and he does some Broadway work.
08:18Is that it?
08:18He's a good looking guy.
08:19He's a beautiful man.
08:20Is that it?
08:20That's 11.
08:2111 on Celebrity Big Brother, season whatever it is.
08:24Oh, I'm watching it tonight.
08:25I recorded it.
08:25Yeah.
08:26It's so good.
08:28All right.
08:28I watched 37 minutes, guys, and I said, I can't watch this crap anymore.
08:33I just, I had no interest.
08:34Give it another shot tonight.
08:36It's on tonight at 9 o'clock.
08:37Why would I want to give it another shot?
08:40The introduction episode is not fair because it's a little drawn out.
08:44You have to learn their backstories if you don't know them.
08:46All right.
08:46You went in with a negative disposition.
08:48But now you're going to get invested into these characters.
08:50I already have a couple of favorites.
08:51I am not going to get it.
08:52I'll tell you right now.
08:52Who's your favorite, Fester?
08:53I am not going to get invested into these characters because I'm not watching another
08:57episode.
08:57I'll tell you right now.
08:58I gave it a chance.
08:59Listen, seriously.
09:00All the crap you watch.
09:01You can't watch a good show?
09:03Yeah, right?
09:03Listen, I'd rather watch the tow truck show on the Weather Channel.
09:06Well, that's my favorite show on TV now.
09:07If they did a show called Celebrity Tow Truck, I would watch that.
09:11I would rather just watch Tow Trucks.
09:13Come on.
09:14Todd Bridges, I think, is my favorite out of the gate.
09:18Todd and Carson are my two favorites right now.
09:21Guys, for you, seriously.
09:23I said, you know what?
09:24I'm not going to be MJ Selfish here.
09:26I'm going to, for Coop and for Fester, I'm going to try to watch this Celebrity Big
09:30Brother because I know how much you guys are into it.
09:32I mean, unnaturally so.
09:34Yeah.
09:35Okay.
09:35I thought I'd give it a shot and I'm done.
09:38Well, listen, you don't have to watch because we drop new episodes of Expect the
09:41Expected Podcast every Monday and Friday, wherever you find your podcasts.
09:44I can't believe that you and Fester do a podcast, Coop, over Celebrity Big Brother.
09:49So, well, we normally do it over the regular Big Brother season.
09:52This is a truncated season because it's only like the month of February.
09:57I'll tell you right now, Misha Tate, new HOH, playing too hard.
10:01She's playing too hard.
10:01That's going to come back and get her.
10:03She'll be first out next week.
10:04You can never be too aggressive in the beginning.
10:07Wait a minute.
10:07You think that Misha Tate, the UFC female fighter, is going to be the first one gone?
10:11No, because she's HOH, but she's going to have a target on her head.
10:15All right.
10:15You can't play so aggressively in the beginning.
10:17You have to just lay low.
10:19Guys, I tried, but should I give it one more shot tonight?
10:22One more shot tonight.
10:23One more shot.
10:24All right.
10:25All right.
10:25All right.
10:26All right.
10:26No.
10:27All right.
10:29I got a question, though.
10:30What?
10:30Yes.
10:31Is Julie Chen Moonves this year?
10:34Moonves, yeah, she's there.
10:35Yes.
10:35No, is she Musen Moonves?
10:37No.
10:38Her Twitter handle is JC Moonves.
10:40Could we get her creepy accused husband, former head of CBS, Leslie Moonves, can we get him
10:46on Celebrity Big Brother?
10:48Oh, that would be good.
10:49Get over here, Misha.
10:50Get him on.