Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share what they have escaped from and the stories include a random basement with guys cooking pancakes upstairs, a lesbian threesome and a house equipped with a two-story sex machine.
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00:00where did you escape from
00:12good morning anonymous how are you
00:15hey what's up pretty good how are you good so you sent us this email and
00:20you know don't name the bar or anything but kind of take us through the night
00:24of what happened at the time i was in my early 20s and i started talking to some
00:29woman probably in her 40s or so and just talking a little bit flirting a little
00:33bit and next thing i know it was like you know i got it i started feeling a
00:37little more buzzed up than usual and next thing i know bam i just wake up the
00:41next morning in some basement i've never been in before
00:44start to walk up the stairs and there's just two men i've never seen in my
00:49entire life just in the kitchen making pancakes like it's just another
00:53sunday morning okay and so what did you say to these two
00:58pancake making fellas i think i looked at him and just sort of didn't really
01:01know what to say so i just started walking towards the front door
01:03and they both just sort of watched me walk towards the door like one of what's
01:07going on i look over in the living room and there's this 80 year old couple just
01:10watching tv and they're looking at me all weird and i've never seen them a day in
01:13my life and i really didn't know what to say and i heard her whisper something to
01:17the to the old man something like taken care of or something like that
01:20and at that point i just i said well thanks for your hospitality and i just
01:26opened the front door and just started walking as fast as i possibly could
01:29well dude whatever the story at least you escaped right i mean you're out
01:41you're not still in that basement could you imagine waking up in a random
01:44basement you don't know where you are i cannot and i can't piece together what
01:48happened from that drink till then and you come upstairs and i'm like just making
01:51some pancakes for you
01:52no yep and my brother that's right yeah we're just hanging out making some
02:05stuff before we carve up your skin breakfast is the most important meal of
02:10the day oh you gotta eat so you're chubby the grandparents really take it though away like
02:18the scariness yeah because i've seen like tv movies and crap where the whole family's
02:24in on it right they know it's crazy but grandpa's been filleting people for a long
02:28time long line of us he's like the old buffalo bill right that's not how you skin a man
02:34grandpa bill that's grandpa bill yeah yeah
02:37you let him get away i wanted to fly him i was just starting to take my wiener boat
02:51a long line of buffalo bills yeah uh jim good morning how are you man hey uh yeah i was uh a
03:03maintenance guy and there was a couple of lesbians that you know i'd always you know make a pass at
03:08and uh eventually they finally invited me back to their place well uh anyways you know i was going
03:14down on one you know and next thing i know i feel something cold on my backside
03:21wet and the other girl's got a strap on on and she's getting ready to hit me from the back
03:29yeah and i jumped up and freaked out uh grabbed my clothes ran out of their apartment with uh just
03:36my underwear on many guests wouldn't say no to a lesbian threesome invitation no lesbians invite
03:42you up into the bedroom they knew that too and it was like okay you really want to do this huh
03:46it's all fun and games till you feel the cold drops of lube on your back
03:50oh that feels like anal lube i think they were messing with him that's cold
03:56but now it's warming up yeah what is that look out
04:02um anonymous is next here we're talking about where you escaped from what's your story
04:08uh so i work for a plumbing company and when i walk in the guy's like no i got something in my
04:16living room that most people don't have and i was like oh it can't be that bad like sure
04:20this dude had a two-story sex machine in his living room oh my goodness he built himself a two-story
04:27homemade sex machine sex machine yes it was he had an open ceiling like a open ceiling uh living room
04:35like you could there's a balcony from the second floor oh my god look over into it and it was like
04:40there was a king-sized bed underneath it and like mirrors and like he was like 60 years old too
04:46oh dirty old homemade sex machine man yep you know i got something to show you grandpa bill
04:53all right present to you bang to miss pride
04:55it's a robot it's a goddamn sex robot two-story one he's been working his whole life yeah he has
05:07tinkering away designs like an old man welcome to the fortress of bangitude i've been working on
05:16sex robots my whole life it's the ultimate design yep yep yes wow
05:25we all knew what was coming sex machine picture sex machine picture
05:31oh my god heavens
05:34twist it twist it you can you can do this can't you oh my god
05:40and we gotta turn yeah their heads there is this is a two-story sex machine
05:45and it is like look at the work oh my god there's like a robot thing up there
05:50there's sex swings there's a paddle looks like an automatic paddle
05:54what are those pulleys for over here i got an idea i call it the lube goldberg
05:59there's a pole with a mirror on it look at the mirror
06:04there's a mirror on the stripper pole oh yeah yep
06:08where's his wussy eating shelf is that here
06:11i don't know if you finale just right you'll go back in time
06:16there's nothing like sitting by the fire and having a sex machine up
06:21pounding away i imagine when it fires up too it's like one of those old like
06:28you know there's all sorts of weird noises
06:31there is no hiding that thing no no you can't you can't come over you can't
06:35throw a sheet over it or anything yeah he's too proud of it he loves it he tells
06:39everyone about it my life's work i designed it in a dream
06:41you