• 3 days ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship,
00:03you should find another man and dally with him.
00:07And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action.
00:10That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
00:13I actually think he's on to something.
00:16Well, you can't be serious, because I messed up and made out with a girl you're
00:20gonna do the same with a random guy?
00:23I'm currently single.
00:27That's true, you are.
00:31What is happening?
00:34I will tell you what is happening. I am saving my best friend's marriage.
00:47Since Amy and I have been living together,
00:49we've been bickering like my parents used to.
00:52And you're afraid you're gonna do something like your dad did.
00:55Yes.
00:56I need to prepare her now to save her from pain down the road.
01:01Down the road? Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you,
01:04and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women.
01:09Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone.
01:13Honey, instead of worrying about pain you may cause in the future,
01:15how about trying to fix the pain you're causing her right now?
01:20I'm sure you're right.
01:23And I suppose I should apologize to you as well.
01:27Okay.
01:28That must have hurt, watching me look for other women
01:30without ever even considering you.
01:38Please understand that I think of you as more of a nanny.
01:45Just finish your ice cream so I can get you home to bed.
01:49Helium.
01:50Yes.
01:53Taylor Swift.
01:54Yes.
01:57Pie.
01:57Yes.
02:05Kardashian.
02:06More specific?
02:11Khloe?
02:11Yes!
02:13See, I remember because if it looks like Kim, it's Kim.
02:15If it looks kind of like Kim, it's Kourtney.
02:17If it looks nothing like Kim, it's Khloe.
02:21Oh, that's a Venn diagram.
02:22And I remember because I thought to myself,
02:24Venn, is he going to stop talking about this diagram?
02:29What are you guys doing?
02:30Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time
02:32to expand our respective knowledge bases.
02:35Let me try.
02:38Atom of hydrogen, atom of maroon five, Mike drop.
02:45I'm sorry, who is Mike drop?
02:47Ever since Amy started working with Howard,
02:49she hasn't been home.
02:51Didn't that just start this morning?
02:54And has she been home?
02:56You know, that would frustrate me.
03:00Does it frustrate you?
03:01It does.
03:02I get that.
03:04You know, it's okay to feel frustrated
03:05when things aren't going your way.
03:08I suppose.
03:10Maybe it's not that big a deal.
03:11No, no, no, your feelings are valid.
03:14Now, why don't you go wash up
03:15and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
03:22Okay.
03:26What did you do?
03:27Are you a witch?
03:29I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book.
03:31It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.
03:35That's amazing.
03:36I know, but, you know, it's only birth to five.
03:39What do we do when he turns six?
03:42Take him to the zoo and leave him there.
03:44The fundamental problem
03:45with elementary quantum mechanical formalism
03:47is that the Fourier transform extends to minus infinity
03:50in time.
03:51Hey, don't dumb this down for me.
03:56Honey, I'm late for that thing.
03:58See ya.
03:59Leonard!
04:01Oh, Sheldon.
04:02Didn't see you there.
04:03What's up?
04:04Well, he was excited to talk science with Amy,
04:06but she was working late,
04:07so he decided to come over and share it with me.
04:10With me, Leonard.
04:13With me.
04:16Sheldon, we've talked about this.
04:17You can't go around boring other people's wives.
04:20Yeah.
04:21I already got a man for that.
04:24Yeah, you do.
04:25Yeah.
04:26It's just, I've been enjoying my collaboration with Amy,
04:29but ever since we got back from our honeymoon,
04:31she has so little time.
04:32She does have her own job.
04:34Yeah, but it's so dull.
04:36Trying to understand how the brain
04:38translates the five senses into biochemical information.
04:42I'd rather wait in line without my phone.
04:46Okay, well, Leonard's here now.
04:47You can talk science with him.
04:49Where you going?
04:50That thing you were late for,
04:51one of us should really be there.
04:54What a beautiful forest.
04:58Hello, little butterfly.
05:02What's your name?
05:03Ow!
05:05What you doing?
05:06I was enjoying some virtual reality.
05:09You ruined it with your actual face.
05:13What am I smelling?
05:14Oh, it's car air freshener.
05:16I was simulating the smell of the forest.
05:19It's not what the forest smells like.
05:21Well, how would I know?
05:24Amy is the one constant I can count on,
05:26and now she's changing.
05:27It's just a haircut and some clothes.
05:29No, it's the last straw.
05:31I can't take anymore.
05:41Can you believe it?
05:42Get in the elevator.
05:46This is a nightmare.
05:49What's with him?
05:50He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks amazing.
05:52Oh, yeah, got it.
06:10Ah!
06:15How did you get down here?
06:16The elevator, it's really fast.
06:19I need to be alone right now.
06:21Don't try to follow me.
06:22All right, you need a ride?
06:23That'd be great, thank you.
06:24The entire point of emulating Spock
06:26was to rise above human emotion,
06:28which I've spent a lifetime mastering.
06:30Oh.
06:34Excuse me?
06:35I'm sorry, I'm not here.
06:36No, you went pfft.
06:37What does pfft mean?
06:39Um...
06:40You did go pfft.
06:42Okay, fine.
06:43Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert,
06:45but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock?
06:47He liked to act like he had no emotions,
06:49but he was still half human.
06:51Just like you.
06:53I'm just saying, you pretend you don't,
06:55but you have feelings just like everybody else.
06:57Not true.
06:58Now, look at me.
06:59I had an engagement ring to give a girl,
07:01and instead she rejected me.
07:03And am I emotional about that?
07:05No.
07:06No, I am sitting here on a couch,
07:07talking about my favorite TV character
07:09like nothing happened.
07:10Because I am just like him.
07:11All logical.
07:12All the time.
07:13Sweetie, you're yelling.
07:14Because when I speak at a regular volume,
07:16no one seems to believe me
07:17that I put this Amy nonsense behind me.
07:25This documentary is gonna be awesome.
07:32That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom
07:34in the last two hours.
07:36So?
07:37Her breakfast was binding.
07:39I made sure of that.
07:42So?
07:43So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress.
07:45If it's viral, we're all susceptible.
07:48She's probably just airsick.
07:50What if she's not?
07:51What if we get what she has?
07:52What if we infect the king of Sweden?
07:54That's how wars start.
08:02All right, that's it.
08:03This is outbreak, and she's the monkey.
08:07Wait, stop.
08:08Be reasonable.
08:11Leonard, we need to do something about your wife.
08:14What's the matter?
08:15She's clearly sick,
08:16and she's gonna take us all down with her.
08:18She's not sick, Sheldon.
08:19She is, and I'm gonna catch it,
08:21and it's gonna ruin the greatest day of my life.
08:23I promise you're not going to get what she has.
08:26Hey, what's going on?
08:27I'm clean! I'm clean!
08:29What?
08:30He thinks you're sick.
08:32Oh.
08:34Should we tell him?
08:35Well, if we don't, he might try and jump out of the plane.
08:38Eh, doesn't answer my question.
08:40Tell me what?
08:43I'm pregnant, Sheldon.
08:46You're right, I can't catch that.
08:52Good news, Amy.
08:54She's just pregnant.
08:56I think we'd make amazing parents.
08:59Keep it down.
09:05On the other hand, we might lack a certain maturity.
09:09You actually think it's 2003?
09:11No, just because I'm living my life like it was 12 years ago
09:14doesn't mean I'm delusional.
09:16And since it is 2003, I don't know who you are,
09:19so please exit the premises
09:21before I call the police on my stylish new flip phone.
09:27Hello, 2003.
09:32Hey, we brought you time...
09:36Where is everything?
09:37In my present, it's in the future.
09:39In your present, it's been crammed in the bedroom
09:42by an enterprising young man I met in the Home Depot parking lot.
09:47I know what you're doing.
09:48You're trying to get attention so we'll feel bad for you,
09:50but it's not happening.
09:52No, what I'm doing is trying to figure out how to live my life
09:55now that everyone is leaving me.
09:56Knock it off, we're across the hall.
09:59As the kids are saying today, talk to the hand.
10:03They're not saying that.
10:06They are in 2003.
10:08No, no, they're really not.
10:11I'm trying to take an interest in other people.
10:14How was your girls' night?
10:16It was fine.
10:18Did you have anything to eat?
10:19Uh, chips.
10:21Anything to drink?
10:23Some wine.
10:25Boy, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.
10:30It's for the Nobel Laureates.
10:31We need them on our side, but unfortunately, Sheldon...
10:34No, unfortunately, Sheldon, that's all you gotta say.
10:38So you need these people's support
10:40and you're sending them baked goods?
10:42Yeah, they're pretty smart.
10:43Don't you think they're gonna realize it's just a bribe?
10:45I could think, but sometimes brilliant people
10:47can be painfully oblivious to social cues.
10:54Thank you for pointing that out, Sheldon.
10:57Anytime.
11:01And my two dearest friends in the world,
11:05Penny Hofstadter...
11:12and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
11:18I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met.
11:22He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful.
11:28And now that they're expecting,
11:29I have no doubt that that will be the case.
11:32Thanks, Sheldon.
11:33I haven't told my parents yet, but thanks.
11:37Oh.
11:38I'm sorry.
11:40Don't tell anyone that last thing.
11:42That's a secret.
11:45What you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom?
11:48I'm happy to do it with you.
11:53Everyone will think I'm weird.
12:02Sweetie, you are weird.
12:06Everyone knows you're weird,
12:08but they're all still here because they care about you so much.
12:13Hello, some of us need to check our hair
12:15because we might have a shot with Winard's mother.
12:22AVAILABLE NOW

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