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00:00Leonard a moment what if someone and of course, we don't know who this would be does ask where you've gone
00:05What should I say? I don't know. Just tell him I went to the office. Are you going to the office? No
00:11Well, how can I say it convincingly just say Leonard went to the office. All right
00:17Leonard went to the office
00:25No, not like that just Leonard went to the office
00:28This would have worked out a lot better. If you just told me you were going to the office
00:32I'm going to the office
00:34See, why don't I believe you?
00:41I'm going out for a while. Okay
00:54Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going
00:58Okay, where is he going Leonard is going to the office
01:07We go fresh from the cleaners good as new really great Sheldon look good as new from that key maker I highly doubt it
01:15Come on Sheldon, just give it a try
01:20All right
01:22Oh
01:24They're nice and comfy cozy zero zero zero
01:28There's one more zero
01:31You forgot the time parameter
01:34Sit on the damn couch
01:52Nope
02:02What do you mean no, what's wrong with it nothing it's what's wrong with him
02:08It's exactly the same penny. I think I know what to do
02:13Sheldon I have some bad news
02:16more
02:18Afraid so, you know the cashew chicken I get you on Monday nights. Yes from Szechuan Palace
02:25Szechuan Palace closed two years ago
02:30What where did my cashew chicken come from golden dragon
02:40No, oh
02:43Oh
02:44This isn't right
02:46No, our food always comes in Szechuan Palace containers. Yeah. Well before they went out of business. I bought four thousand containers. I
02:56Keep them in the trunk of my car
02:59But oh
03:02This changes everything I
03:06Thought that might take his mind off the cushion what's real what isn't how can I know?
03:13You did make that up right I got I wish I had
03:20Yeah, buddy, I still don't like this cushion
03:23Taming five friendships promises to be a Herculean task. So
03:28I'm going to have to let one of you go
03:33Me me let it be me
03:35You
03:37Leonard you are my roommate my source of transportation and you helped me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer
03:45You are safe
03:48Can I whistle don't be silly
03:52Howard you do not have a PhD
03:55Your cologne is an assault on the senses and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays
04:03Guilty as charged I'm out. No you two are safe. Oh, come on. What do I have to do?
04:11Okay, you know what I see where this is going. I'm not one of you guys
04:15I'm not a scientist. So just penny penny penny everything you're saying is true, but please allow me to continue Raj
04:22You're out
04:28It's a good question
04:30While you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing
04:37How could you for a moment think that my favorite amino acid is glutamine?
04:43He had lysine but changed it yeah shoulda woulda coulda Raj
04:48Your Facebook status update Leonard Hofstadter is in a relationship
04:53What no, no, that's not right. Oh, man. Did you switch your status before she did?
05:01Speaking as an expert way to look needy
05:05Seriously you went first after only two weeks
05:08That's old
05:09It's not bold. It's a mistake. I didn't change my status. Well, then who did I?
05:20Had no choice he cried in front of her
05:23You hacked my Facebook account, oh, it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything Kal. L
05:33Are you insane now she's gonna think I'm desperate you've destroyed this relationship
05:39And you don't know the worst part is you don't even understand what you did wrong because you can't conceive of something that you are
05:45not an expert in
05:47In which I am not don't even
05:53Don't want to hear another word out of you who
05:58What's wrong lassie Timmy fall down the well, oh
06:05Wow, she just updated her Facebook status Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship with Leonard Hofstadter
06:14Really
06:18Look at that. I have a girlfriend
06:22If I'm permitted to speak again, dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win
06:28Again with you will remove funny bone for $200
06:35For this I went to MIT
06:38Begin I
06:45Think I swallowed something I can't press any of the buttons of my gloves. Oh
06:53Bitch
06:55Adversity is to be expected continue. Oh boy. Am I gonna get sued?
07:04Gentlemen use your imagination innovate did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of Hoth
07:12No, he cut open a tauntaun and use its internal body heat to warm him up
07:17You heard the man hold him down and I'll cut him open
07:20I know I don't possess the tools of leadership, but I don't understand why we can't assemble the equipment inside the hut and then take it
07:27outside I
07:30Hadn't thought of that I
07:34Guess we're done here. Oh
07:38Boy
07:41What I can't comment without violating our agreement that I not criticize your work
07:47Then what was oh boy great restraint on my part
07:52There's nothing wrong with the science here. Perhaps you mean a different thing than I do when you say science
08:06Okay, how's that you actually had it right in the first place
08:12Once again, you've fallen for one of my classic pranks
08:16Bazinga
08:22Well, now here's a peculiar email
08:25The president of the University wants me to meet him at his office tomorrow morning at 8 a.m
08:29Why doesn't say must be an emergency everyone at the University knows I eat breakfast today and move my bowels at 820
08:38Yes, how did we live before Twitter I
08:41I
08:43Guess you'll find out what it is in the morning. That's 14 hours away for the next 840 minutes
08:50I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles. I know where I am. I know how fast I'm going, but I can't know both
08:56How am I supposed to carry on with this huge annoying thing hovering over my head?
09:01Yeah, I know the feeling
09:04Hmm
09:05The problem appears to be unsolvable. Maybe we could run some computer simulations. There are too many variables. It would take forever
09:12You've got to be missing something
09:15Let's start again. The movie is playing here at 720 here at 7
09:20Here at 810 and here at 845. All right, these theaters have to be eliminated
09:25Why there's state-of-the-art digital projection 20 channel surround sound. Yes, but they have no icy machines
09:31Despite my aggressive letter-writing campaign, I might add
09:36What about the multiplex here the seats are terrific. They have Twizzlers instead of red vines
09:41No amount of lumbar support can compensate for that
09:45Well, it's gonna take at least an hour to eat and I don't see a Sheldon approved restaurant proximate to a Sheldon approved theater
09:51We could eat off to the movie done
09:53Acceptable the delay would result in tomorrow morning's bowel movement occurring at work
09:58Hang on hang on there. There's a 7-eleven here
10:02We smuggled slurpees which are essentially ICs in under our coats after having a pleasant meal either here here. Oh, yeah
10:10Wow, I don't see how we missed that. Excuse me in what universe are slurpees ICs?
10:19That's how we missed it
10:21Sheldon would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis to create an emergency ad hoc slurpee IC equivalency Oh
10:28Leonard you know, I can't do that
10:32Okay, I guess we only have one option yep, I don't see any way around it bye Sheldon see ya
10:45They're right it was the only option
10:48Stew the cockatoo is new at the zoo
10:52Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana
10:57With her husband and best friend mark and their cockatoo stew
11:03Probably makes her an expert in making friends. Wouldn't you agree? I don't like birds. They scare me me too
11:13Most people don't see it
11:18What are you reading curious George, oh, I do like monkeys curious George's monkey
11:24somewhat anthropomorphize, but yes
11:28Say
11:30Maybe sometime you and I could go see monkeys together. Would you like that? Okay
11:36Sheldon what are you doing?
11:38I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name? Rebecca? Hi Rebecca. I'm your new friend Sheldon. I know let's go
11:47You're really hitting it off. Don't look up those cameras