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Transcript
00:00:00Let's go.
00:00:30Ruh tu tu, ruh tu ruh tu ruh
00:00:33Ruh tu tu, ruh tu ruh tu
00:00:35She is humming
00:00:37She is waking everyone up
00:00:39Yes, with flowers in her hair
00:00:42The bird is singing
00:00:49She is open, open, open
00:00:51She is a little messy
00:00:54A little mischievous
00:00:56She is a little mischievous
00:00:59The morning has come
00:01:06Ruh tu tu, ruh tu ruh tu ruh
00:01:09Ruh tu tu, ruh tu ruh tu ruh
00:01:11Good morning, Pakistan
00:01:15Hello. Good morning, Pakistan.
00:01:19How are you? How are you?
00:01:22I am so dressed up today.
00:01:24Because you know, someone likes this kind of dressing up.
00:01:27When we get married, our mothers-in-law like this kind of dressing up.
00:01:33The daughter-in-law should be dressed up, she should be wearing gold jewellery.
00:01:36And she should be wearing good make-up.
00:01:38Mothers-in-law like it when their daughters-in-law are dressed up.
00:01:41So I said, today's show is like this.
00:01:43I forgot to turn off the love button.
00:01:45So I said, get dressed up.
00:01:48I had only these clothes. I didn't have anything else.
00:01:51That's why I came dressed up.
00:01:54Yes, what happens is...
00:01:56If you say, if you want to look at a girl, look at her mother first.
00:01:59This is a very old saying.
00:02:02If you want to look at a girl, look at her mother first.
00:02:04Whenever the in-laws come to look at the girl...
00:02:07...they look at the whole house.
00:02:08But the way the girl's mother talks...
00:02:12...the way she talks, the way she talks...
00:02:16...that makes the whole family stand out.
00:02:20That, which family does this girl belong to?
00:02:22Because all those things, those qualities...
00:02:26...or some bad things that you see in a girl's mother...
00:02:32...that girl has to face them sooner or later.
00:02:35Because it is said that daughters are the reflection of mothers.
00:02:40And this is not wrong.
00:02:41It's like this, when I used to look at my mother...
00:02:44...I used to say, mother, you are very short-tempered.
00:02:46And you are very straightforward.
00:02:48But with time, with age, I feel that...
00:02:51...sometimes I am becoming like her.
00:02:53It's good to be straightforward...
00:02:55...but it's also dangerous.
00:02:57A lot of people get scared of that person.
00:02:59So, what to do?
00:03:01If you have gone to your mother, you will have to be like that.
00:03:03I have understood this now, at this age.
00:03:07This is what happens.
00:03:09We have learned a lot of things from our mothers.
00:03:13But if we had got married at a young age...
00:03:16...and we had gone to our in-laws, then of course...
00:03:19...then we become the reflection of our mother-in-law.
00:03:21A lot of things that are good and bad about a mother-in-law...
00:03:25...you start to see them slowly inside you.
00:03:28That I have become like her.
00:03:30I do the same. I also put oil like this.
00:03:33I also switch off the lights like this.
00:03:35I have also caught these good things.
00:03:37I have also caught some bad things.
00:03:39So, you will analyze this...
00:03:43...and you will agree with me...
00:03:46...that if you are like your mother...
00:03:49...80% or 70%.
00:03:5130% or 20% you will be like your mother-in-law.
00:03:55Because today's topic is...
00:03:57...what did I learn from my husband's mother?
00:03:59That husband's mother...
00:04:01...she teaches her children...
00:04:04...and if she has a good child...
00:04:08...then our life is peaceful.
00:04:09I had told my mother-in-law...
00:04:11...that if you had taught your sons to work...
00:04:14...you could have done some household work.
00:04:15So, we don't have to go through difficulties.
00:04:18So, she says, what can I do? I made a mistake.
00:04:22So, mothers teach their sons...
00:04:25...but mothers also teach their daughters-in-law.
00:04:28And this is their advantage.
00:04:30Because when a daughter-in-law comes home at a young age...
00:04:35...then the taste of the food...
00:04:40...often the girls will tell you...
00:04:42...that they have learned it from their mother-in-law.
00:04:44Because when they are at their mother's house before marriage...
00:04:47...then you don't get a chance to learn cooking in college or universities.
00:04:52But when you are at home, then your mother-in-law is close to you.
00:04:56And you ask her, tell me how many spices should I add?
00:04:59Should I roast this or not?
00:05:02So, a lot of things...
00:05:04...I also learned from my mother-in-law.
00:05:08I also learned from my mother-in-law.
00:05:09I can say that I learned 70% from my mother.
00:05:12And I learned 30% from my husband's mother.
00:05:15After a short break, we will have some other celebrities...
00:05:18...who will talk about their husband's mother in good words.
00:05:21Don't get confused.
00:05:23This is not a very funny show.
00:05:26You think that today I will say bad things about mothers-in-law. No, no.
00:05:28Today, we will discuss the good things that we learned from mothers-in-law.
00:05:33Good morning.
00:05:34Today, my viewers will definitely be mothers-in-law.
00:05:42Yes, in the flowery garden.
00:05:44The birds are chirping.
00:05:49Welcome back. Good morning, Pakistan.
00:05:51So, today is a very positive show.
00:05:54Today, for the first time in history, we are here to praise our mothers-in-law.
00:05:59It is so good to be here early in the morning.
00:06:01Because there is a lot of negativity in every drama.
00:06:04There is a lot of bad things about mothers-in-law.
00:06:06Today, we will say that whatever we have learned from our husband's mother...
00:06:11...we will tell you about it.
00:06:12Because we often praise our mothers.
00:06:15Yes, we have learned some good and some bad things from our mothers-in-law.
00:06:20So, today we will tell you about that.
00:06:23And the celebrities who are with me to do this blessed work are here.
00:06:30Come, let's introduce them.
00:06:32Munazza Arif is here.
00:06:33Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:33Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:34How are you?
00:06:35Thank God.
00:06:37Then we have Rubab.
00:06:38Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:39Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:40Then we have Dr. Ayesha.
00:06:42Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:43Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:43And everyone is laughing and laughing.
00:06:46And then with us...
00:06:47No, no, I am not laughing.
00:06:48You give your introduction.
00:06:49Then I will tell you something.
00:06:52That there are some things that you learn from her introduction.
00:06:58Fahima Awan.
00:06:59Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:06:59Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:07:00So, today you have to read the poems of your mothers-in-law.
00:07:04And you have to tell us what you have learned from them.
00:07:10We have to talk about good things today.
00:07:11Right, Dr. Ayesha?
00:07:12Absolutely.
00:07:13Good things?
00:07:14Absolutely.
00:07:15So, we will earn good things today.
00:07:17Do you know what is in my heart?
00:07:18Why?
00:07:20No, no, it's not like that.
00:07:21And I will tell you that when someone dies...
00:07:24Yes, at that time.
00:07:25At that time, you value them more.
00:07:27And you miss them.
00:07:28That no, someone was going to interrupt.
00:07:30Someone was going to tell.
00:07:31Someone was going to teach.
00:07:33He really died.
00:07:35So, we...
00:07:36There is no such thing as no joke.
00:07:37Mothers-in-law are there in daughters-in-law and in every relationship.
00:07:40So, we have defamed a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law.
00:07:43Yes, we have defamed them.
00:07:44Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's relationship.
00:07:47We take things for granted.
00:07:49We should be grateful for all the things that we have learned from our mothers-in-law.
00:07:54Exactly.
00:07:55A mother gives you life but a mother-in-law gives her life to you.
00:07:59In the form of her son.
00:08:00Oh, you are making today's slogan.
00:08:05A mother-in-law gives you her life.
00:08:07She gives you a piece of her heart.
00:08:09She gives you a piece of her heart.
00:08:10This is a big thing.
00:08:13I told her to check my viewers rating.
00:08:17I will die.
00:08:18I will die watching today's show.
00:08:19Today's show was very good.
00:08:21Youngsters will also learn from us.
00:08:24Because they say, it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl.
00:08:27They won't live alone.
00:08:28We have seen the fun of family.
00:08:30There are pros and cons.
00:08:32Yes, there are.
00:08:32Every family has its pros and cons.
00:08:33But what we have seen, I miss.
00:08:36I enjoyed it a lot.
00:08:38There are pros and cons of a joint family.
00:08:41And obviously, you tolerate your mother-in-law's words.
00:08:45Like a mother-in-law fights with her mother-in-law.
00:08:47No, we fight more than a mother-in-law.
00:08:50Our problem is that we don't take our mother-in-law's words to heart.
00:08:55We say, it's okay.
00:08:56We talk about others.
00:08:58My mother-in-law said this to me.
00:09:00My aunt said this to me.
00:09:01It's a mindset.
00:09:02We have made a mindset.
00:09:04We have gone after marriage.
00:09:06So, mother-in-law has to be wicked.
00:09:08It's a very bad thing.
00:09:09Although, a mother who is giving her child to you.
00:09:13She welcomes you in her house.
00:09:15You should be very grateful for that.
00:09:19I think for both the relations,
00:09:21it's difficult to accept a future wife and a mother-in-law.
00:09:27Not just for us, we say, we are going to a new house.
00:09:31For them too, their son is a divide.
00:09:35It's not easy to accept that.
00:09:38I think, if I become a mother-in-law.
00:09:42You will become a mother-in-law.
00:09:44I will also become a mother-in-law.
00:09:46She has already become a mother-in-law.
00:09:47I am going to become a mother-in-law.
00:09:48She is going to become a mother-in-law.
00:09:50I will become a mother-in-law.
00:09:51She has time.
00:09:52She is a junior to us, that's why.
00:09:55We have to become a mother-in-law too.
00:09:57So, he says...
00:09:59Can I tell you something, my father?
00:10:00The things that I am facing in my life.
00:10:04When you are a daughter-in-law,
00:10:06the things that you hear,
00:10:09you are very scared that your mother-in-law will be like this or that.
00:10:12Slowly, when life passes and you reach maturity,
00:10:15then you feel that you are in the middle.
00:10:18That you will become a mother-in-law in the future.
00:10:20Then your mind gets straightened.
00:10:21Then you say, why did I make such a big deal out of such a small thing?
00:10:25It was a small thing. It wasn't a big deal.
00:10:28It's all about stepping into those shoes.
00:10:30Yes.
00:10:31When you are at that stage,
00:10:33you realise what the perspective was.
00:10:35Why did someone say that?
00:10:37But I feel that things have changed now.
00:10:39Earlier, the mother-in-laws used to say that
00:10:42this has happened to us,
00:10:43so I have to make her daughter-in-law her couture
00:10:46and fulfill those things.
00:10:48But now, social media and education have changed things so much.
00:10:52The mother-in-laws are busy,
00:10:54they have kiddie parties, they have jobs,
00:10:56they are busy themselves.
00:10:58So, they keep a free hand on their daughter-in-laws
00:11:01to let them live and let them live.
00:11:03So, there is a lot of difference between past and present.
00:11:06So true.
00:11:07And I feel that the girls of today are more sensible.
00:11:10We were married at a very young age.
00:11:14And if I compare, I feel that I was very stupid.
00:11:17Yes.
00:11:18I mean, I didn't have any sense.
00:11:19You know, Rabab, we didn't know how to handle it.
00:11:23Yes.
00:11:23It's all about handling.
00:11:25How do you handle relationships?
00:11:27And obviously, you know how to handle it after maturity.
00:11:30Exactly.
00:11:31When you are young, immature,
00:11:33which is the age of most of the girls in our society.
00:11:37So, at that time, we didn't know how to handle it.
00:11:40But today's girls know how to handle it.
00:11:42Yes, today's girls know how to handle it.
00:11:44Relationship.
00:11:45Absolutely.
00:11:45Today's girls are called Gen Z.
00:11:51These girls are very open.
00:11:55They say what's in their heart.
00:11:57These girls are not hypocrites.
00:12:00This generation...
00:12:00But we were suppressed.
00:12:02We didn't suppress them.
00:12:04We were suppressed.
00:12:05We were told not to say anything.
00:12:06We were told not to say anything.
00:12:08It's a bad thing.
00:12:09The social norms were a little different.
00:12:11We were born in a different environment.
00:12:16We didn't have internet.
00:12:17We weren't taught to say no.
00:12:18We were taught to say yes to everything.
00:12:21We were told to do it.
00:12:23We were told to listen to our mother-in-law.
00:12:27Today's girls say what's right and what's wrong.
00:12:29Today's girls know how to handle it.
00:12:33It doesn't happen at home anymore.
00:12:36The environment has become so friendly.
00:12:39Mother-in-law...
00:12:41Mother-in-law has become a very friendly relationship.
00:12:46Earlier, we were told not to say anything in front of mother-in-law.
00:12:50There are still such personalities in some houses.
00:12:52Yes, I'm sure there are.
00:12:53There are still such dominating personalities.
00:12:55If they are dominating for their husband and children,
00:12:58then they must be dominating for their daughters-in-law too.
00:13:01Their nature is like that.
00:13:02Their personality is like that.
00:13:03They can't change.
00:13:05Daughters-in-law realize that their personality is like that.
00:13:10They have a manufacturing fault.
00:13:12What can it be?
00:13:13It's like that.
00:13:14Let's start with our mother-in-law, our husband's mother.
00:13:18I'm not even using the word mother-in-law.
00:13:20I'm calling her my husband's mother.
00:13:22So, let's start with what we learned from her.
00:13:25Which is true, actually.
00:13:27Cooking.
00:13:27Yes.
00:13:28Manaza, did you learn cooking from her?
00:13:30I learned cooking to a great extent.
00:13:31I didn't even know how to make tea.
00:13:33When they came to see me,
00:13:36I remember that my sister made tea for me.
00:13:39She was so generous.
00:13:40Anyway, my in-laws make really good tea.
00:13:45The first thing I learned was tea.
00:13:48Because, when you're 19 or 20 years old,
00:13:50it's very important for us.
00:13:53So, that's one thing.
00:13:54And the second thing,
00:13:55I'm telling you the initial things.
00:13:57Was the paratha she used to make.
00:13:59Okay.
00:14:00It was soft from inside and crispy from outside.
00:14:02She used to crunch it and serve it.
00:14:05So, even now, I crunch it and serve it.
00:14:12It was fun.
00:14:13That was one thing.
00:14:14At home, my mother-in-law used to make round pleats.
00:14:20So, my mother-in-law used to make it differently.
00:14:22So, our journey started from here.
00:14:24She used to make dahi vadas.
00:14:25They were really good.
00:14:27And I follow her routine.
00:14:31So, there were a lot of...
00:14:32Remember, I made khichdi in one of your programs.
00:14:36It was such a delicious khichdi
00:14:38that people used to say,
00:14:39the weather is nice today, let's eat khichdi.
00:14:42So, I make a lot of her recipes like this even today.
00:14:46And each time, I miss her and I...
00:14:48When you used to learn from her,
00:14:50did she stand on your head
00:14:52or you used to ask her,
00:14:53should I put this or that?
00:14:55No, I used to observe her.
00:14:57Okay, you used to stand with her.
00:14:58Yes, I used to stand with her.
00:14:59You used to talk to her.
00:15:01Yes, yes, absolutely.
00:15:02She used to ask me to do this or that.
00:15:06So, I used to be with her.
00:15:08There was a maid, a small girl,
00:15:11who used to cut her hair and give it to her.
00:15:14Okay.
00:15:14So, she had impaired hearing.
00:15:17She used to put it with one of her ears.
00:15:21So, there was always someone with her.
00:15:25But there were good times with the passage of time.
00:15:29So, you used to work, right?
00:15:31Absolutely.
00:15:31So, how did you cook with her?
00:15:34Just on weekends.
00:15:35You used to stand with her on weekends.
00:15:36So, you had those things.
00:15:37Yes, those things.
00:15:38You picked things from her.
00:15:39Thank God.
00:15:39So, what do you say?
00:15:40Did you match your husband's taste with his mother's?
00:15:44I think he's okay.
00:15:46He's happy with the things.
00:15:48But the feeling that I'm telling you,
00:15:50the feeling that I like,
00:15:52sometimes on Sundays,
00:15:54we used to make mash ki daal and roasted chicken.
00:15:59So, sometimes I make the same thing.
00:16:01And I just think of those times
00:16:03when she used to make it and serve it to me.
00:16:06So, I just, you know, sort of owe a lot to her
00:16:10that I learnt all this from her.
00:16:13So, of course,
00:16:14not just me, but the kids are also happy
00:16:18that their mother makes it.
00:16:19So, you all used to live together?
00:16:21Yes, absolutely together.
00:16:23Okay.
00:16:23Yes, next up, Biryani, Rabab.
00:16:28I remember when Rabab used to do modelling
00:16:32on Urooj, I mean, she used to do modelling.
00:16:35She used to work all the time.
00:16:37She's been giving some time to the house as well.
00:16:40So, I heard about Rabab at that time.
00:16:41She's a genie, she takes care of her house.
00:16:44Yes, everyone used to praise her for that.
00:16:48That she's got a kid, and everything is pick and span.
00:16:51And Rabab's house, look at the praise for her.
00:16:54So, I was in the field.
00:16:56I've been hearing that since then.
00:16:58That's how it is.
00:16:59And I learnt cooking, especially Biryani, from my mother-in-law.
00:17:03She taught me everything by measuring it.
00:17:07She taught me how much rice to add, how much curd to add,
00:17:11how much green masala to add.
00:17:13She taught me everything in quantity.
00:17:15Why?
00:17:17I mean, I didn't know anything about raw.
00:17:19I got married at the age of 18.
00:17:21Why would I know?
00:17:22My mother never sent me to the kitchen.
00:17:25So, I don't know anything.
00:17:26I just learnt to make besan halwa
00:17:28from my neighbour before we got married.
00:17:31That's very difficult.
00:17:33I liked it so much, that I used to secretly go to her house for tuition.
00:17:38I used to say, aunty, teach me halwa.
00:17:39Because my mother wouldn't let me learn.
00:17:41She wouldn't let me go to the kitchen.
00:17:43She also taught me how to make besan halwa.
00:17:46She told me how to double half a kilo of besan halwa.
00:17:50How much eggs to add, how much ghee to add.
00:17:53How much you have to make.
00:17:54So, you learnt everything by measuring it.
00:17:57Yes, by measuring it.
00:17:58So, she taught me the same way.
00:18:00Now, I can make 2 kilos of besan halwa.
00:18:03Because she used to double it.
00:18:04And there was no difference in taste.
00:18:07Inrab, life is such a special thing.
00:18:10You learn things from your heart.
00:18:12You remember it all your life.
00:18:14I don't remember the 14 points that you were forced to learn.
00:18:17I don't remember.
00:18:18I don't know anything either.
00:18:19The two nation theory.
00:18:20No, I don't remember.
00:18:23I remember that.
00:18:23And when I make food, I add it like this.
00:18:27I don't add it with a spoon.
00:18:29I think if I add it with a spoon, it will spoil the food.
00:18:33True.
00:18:33So, I add it with my hands.
00:18:35Even if someone is standing, they say...
00:18:37I say, sorry, I can't tell you how much to add.
00:18:40That comes with experience.
00:18:41You know, I used to ask my mother.
00:18:44My mother used to make delicious black chickpea salad.
00:18:48Your mother or...
00:18:49My mother.
00:18:50So, I used to ask her, how much should I add?
00:18:52I asked her, you don't want to tell me, right?
00:18:55She simply said, I don't want to tell you.
00:18:57So, with the experience, you do away with the measurements.
00:19:00With the quantity, you do away with the measurements.
00:19:04And a fish curry.
00:19:05And we eat it with khichdi.
00:19:07Fish curry with khichdi?
00:19:09Every house has their own...
00:19:10This is for Bengalis.
00:19:12But not khichdi.
00:19:14We eat it with rice.
00:19:15Khichdi and tempered khichdi.
00:19:17Tempered khichdi and red curry.
00:19:18I have heard this combo for the first time.
00:19:20And the pickle made with raw mango.
00:19:23Oh, I remember it now.
00:19:27And those who are on a diet, they die.
00:19:29So, exactly, my husband says,
00:19:32make that fish curry, it's been so long.
00:19:34Because it's my mother's...
00:19:36I used to call my mother-in-law as her mother.
00:19:38Mother's flavour comes in the same way.
00:19:41In the biryani and the fish curry.
00:19:43Wow.
00:19:44Okay, if the mother's flavour comes,
00:19:46the husband will be very happy.
00:19:47Because the mother's flavour comes.
00:19:49He says, when I make the biryani,
00:19:53he says, it's amazing.
00:19:54It's made in the same way.
00:19:55So, it's been so many years since I've made it.
00:19:57Now, I make it with my eyes closed.
00:20:00And how many times has he taught you?
00:20:04I'm a good learner.
00:20:06So, if a person tells me something once or twice,
00:20:10or if he tells me a recipe on the phone,
00:20:12I'll make it the same way.
00:20:13Oh, okay.
00:20:15So, this is a good point of mine.
00:20:18I catch things quickly.
00:20:21Amazing.
00:20:21Now, whose turn is it?
00:20:24Rahima, you're also cooking?
00:20:25Yes, I don't know how to cook anything.
00:20:27You got married at a very young age.
00:20:29Yes, I got married at a young age.
00:20:29I was doing modelling.
00:20:30Then I found out that I've got a good proposal.
00:20:32I don't know how to cook anything.
00:20:34Then I was going to a family
00:20:35where there were seven sons and three daughters.
00:20:38So, there were ten big families.
00:20:40Wow.
00:20:41So, I got engaged before Faisal.
00:20:43I said, I don't know how to cook anything.
00:20:45What will I do?
00:20:45So, I asked my sister-in-law to make biryani.
00:20:47I said, show me my respect.
00:20:49I know how to do something.
00:20:50So, I learned how to make biryani.
00:20:51Anyway, I didn't get a proposal there.
00:20:53Anyway, I got married to Faisal.
00:20:55I got married here.
00:20:56I only knew how to make biryani.
00:20:57My mother-in-law ate biryani.
00:20:58She thought that I knew everything.
00:21:00She said, she made a good biryani.
00:21:01Because you only knew how to make biryani.
00:21:03I only knew how to make biryani.
00:21:05I didn't know how to cook anything else.
00:21:08So, my mother-in-law asked me to make liver today.
00:21:10She said, I don't know how to make liver.
00:21:14What should I do?
00:21:14She said, you should make a pie.
00:21:16She said, I don't know how to make anything.
00:21:19She said, it's difficult to make biryani.
00:21:21So, you should make liver.
00:21:22Anyway, she made it.
00:21:24Anyway, she taught me everything with love.
00:21:27She taught me with her heart.
00:21:29I used to learn from her heart.
00:21:30She used to say, whatever I teach you, you listen to it.
00:21:33And you follow it.
00:21:35So, my mother-in-law taught me everything.
00:21:39She taught me everything.
00:21:40She said, I can make better food than her.
00:21:44So, I can make better food than her.
00:21:46My mother-in-law said that you can make better food than her.
00:21:49If a mother-in-law says this,
00:21:51it's a big request.
00:21:54Otherwise, it's a big situation.
00:21:56When she used to come to my house,
00:21:58she used to say, make biryani for me.
00:22:01So, she used to say that I can make better biryani than her.
00:22:03When I go to my mother-in-law,
00:22:05she says, make anything for me.
00:22:07Make matha pulao or anything.
00:22:10Because she is immune to my cooking.
00:22:14So, I think it's a big credit to a girl.
00:22:16She learns everything from her heart.
00:22:18She adjusts everything at home.
00:22:19She loves everyone.
00:22:21But there is one more important thing.
00:22:23My mother used to cook very well.
00:22:25But I didn't learn anything from her.
00:22:27Because I was studying at that time.
00:22:29Then I started working.
00:22:30So, I didn't stand in the kitchen with her.
00:22:32But when my mother-in-law used to cook,
00:22:35and obviously, we were eating.
00:22:36It was a time of leisure.
00:22:39We used to sit at home and mingle with her.
00:22:42So, because of that, I used to eat a lot of fish.
00:22:44We used to eat it with tamarind sauce.
00:22:49Tamarind chutney.
00:22:50We used to add chopped onions and fry the fish with it.
00:22:54We used to eat it separately.
00:22:56We used to eat it with brinjal.
00:22:58We used to eat the gravy of chicken karahi with brinjal.
00:23:02We used to eat something that was invented by her.
00:23:06Oh, I am drooling.
00:23:08I can't speak, I am drooling.
00:23:10You are already drooling.
00:23:11You go back to that time.
00:23:12So, there are a few things that I learned from her.
00:23:14And I am surprised that my mother used to cook so well.
00:23:17All these things are good.
00:23:18But I didn't learn anything from my mother.
00:23:20Same here, Nidam.
00:23:21And I know my mother-in-law's recipe.
00:23:24My mother didn't cook well at all.
00:23:26My mother used to cook very well.
00:23:28But sadly, some people don't have a taste for food.
00:23:32My grandmother used to cook very well.
00:23:34But my mother didn't have that taste.
00:23:35Okay, what about evening cooking?
00:23:37What did you learn from her in the evening?
00:23:39In the evening, the food that was cooked in my mother's house
00:23:44was cooked during the day.
00:23:45Every house has a tradition.
00:23:46Okay, okay.
00:23:47In my mother's house, we used to call her Bua.
00:23:51She used to come to our house when we were small.
00:23:54So, Bua used to come to our house at 11 o'clock.
00:23:57And whatever food was cooked, it was cooked during the day.
00:24:01So, this was our tradition.
00:24:02When I got married after my house job,
00:24:05she didn't wake up.
00:24:07The kitchen was cold, she used to have breakfast.
00:24:11So, my mother-in-law said,
00:24:13sons, men eat food at night.
00:24:16So, the food that is cooked in our house
00:24:19is cooked in the evening or in the afternoon.
00:24:21So, she told me about this trend
00:24:23that the cooking that was done in our house
00:24:26was done in the evening, in the afternoon.
00:24:28So, she used to cook in the afternoon.
00:24:32So, till 4 o'clock.
00:24:34Yes, till 4 o'clock, after lunch.
00:24:36It gets a little cold at that time.
00:24:38So, in her house, it was...
00:24:39It's also true that when it's time for the husband to come,
00:24:44the food will be fresh.
00:24:45I do it like this.
00:24:47I cook in the evening.
00:24:48Especially, the rice thing,
00:24:50I cook it when I know that he has left the office
00:24:53and I tell him to have fresh food.
00:24:56And in the afternoon, we eat anything.
00:24:58And in my mother's house, it was completely different.
00:25:00When we used to come from school,
00:25:01the fresh lentils or rice or chutney,
00:25:04whatever it was, it was cooked at that time.
00:25:06We used to eat it.
00:25:07And whatever happened, we used to eat it in the evening.
00:25:09Usually, normally, in the house,
00:25:11it's cooked in the morning.
00:25:12It's cooked in the morning.
00:25:13After that, till 4 o'clock in the afternoon,
00:25:16the kitchen gets clean.
00:25:17If she has a day off at 4 o'clock,
00:25:20she washes all the utensils and that's it.
00:25:22Then, the utensils are kept under the bed
00:25:24and the maid will come and wash them the next day.
00:25:27So, it's that kind of thing.
00:25:28So, it was completely different here.
00:25:30She used to say that I cook in the afternoon.
00:25:32Then, I used to sit with her with a pen and paper.
00:25:35Teacher.
00:25:36Yes, teacher.
00:25:37But, she used to cook such delicious food
00:25:41that it was famous in her entire family.
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:44That no one cooks like her.
00:25:46I mean, her korma and biryani and all those things.
00:25:50And she had learned it from her mother.
00:25:52Then, I used to sit with a pen and paper.
00:25:54I used to note down all her things.
00:25:56She used to cook in the afternoon.
00:25:57And the fresh food used to get ready by evening.
00:26:01And then, my father-in-law and my husband.
00:26:05So, this trend was completely different from my family.
00:26:08It was a different thing for me.
00:26:09So, can you cook like her?
00:26:11When I learned from her and I cooked in the initial years,
00:26:16I learned a lot from her and I cooked very well.
00:26:20But, I think that I didn't cook like her.
00:26:24But, still, I cooked very well.
00:26:27But, she was a very dominating woman.
00:26:30She didn't say that she was like me.
00:26:33But, people who used to come to our house for a feast,
00:26:37they always used to say that Ayesha bhabhi cooked very well.
00:26:42Amazing. Let's take a short break.
00:26:43We will praise her more after the break.
00:26:45So that she can rest in peace.
00:26:47Good morning.
00:26:57Welcome. Welcome back. Good morning, Pakistan.
00:27:00Today, we are sitting here and telling everyone
00:27:03that other people also want to join us in our conversation.
00:27:07What did we learn from our husband's mother?
00:27:10So, we have a caller with us. Her name is Sobia from Hyderabad.
00:27:13She is calling from Hyderabad, my in-laws' city.
00:27:18My mother-in-law taught me a lot. She taught me how to fight very well.
00:27:22Before marriage, if my mother used to scold me or say something,
00:27:26I used to cry but I couldn't speak.
00:27:30But, after marriage, when my in-laws came,
00:27:32they started doing the same thing here.
00:27:34They saw that everyone is taking advantage of us.
00:27:36Everyone is taking advantage of our silence.
00:27:38So, we also started answering them.
00:27:41And now, they have become so smart that they have surpassed their mother-in-law.
00:27:46I say that my mother-in-law taught me a lot. She taught me how to fight well.
00:27:51That was the voice of her heart.
00:27:53That was her heart.
00:27:56It was a sad voice.
00:27:57It came out from here.
00:27:58It was so painful.
00:27:59Such a negative energy in the morning.
00:28:02One thing, my mother used to say that she learnt it from her in-laws.
00:28:06What used to happen was, if my mother was upset with me,
00:28:10she used to spend 4-5 days befriending me.
00:28:15It used to take a lot of time to convince her.
00:28:17She used to kiss me or do anything. She didn't listen at all.
00:28:20In my in-laws' house, there will be a fierce fight.
00:28:25And after a few hours, friendship.
00:28:26It's a good thing in Mumbai.
00:28:28It should be like this.
00:28:29It's a good bond.
00:28:31It's a family bond.
00:28:32It's a good thing.
00:28:33When I didn't go, I said,
00:28:35they are fighting so much.
00:28:37What will happen? They will separate.
00:28:39I understood that it's like this.
00:28:41After a few hours, everything was over.
00:28:44It's normal, sir.
00:28:45So, I observed. I said, wow, it's good.
00:28:47You got rid of all your problems.
00:28:49Your heart also became clear.
00:28:52It's like this.
00:28:53Not a day went by, hours went by and we became friends.
00:28:56I liked it. I adopted it.
00:28:58I started doing the same.
00:28:59If I have a fight with Yaseen, I will also fight.
00:29:02I will also get angry.
00:29:03Then we became friends.
00:29:04She said what she wanted to say.
00:29:06I started doing the same with my family after marriage.
00:29:09Then my mother said,
00:29:11you have become like your in-laws.
00:29:15You say all this.
00:29:17You do all this.
00:29:18And after that, you become friends.
00:29:20There is a change. You can't say that.
00:29:22When you go to your in-laws, you are like them.
00:29:25You become friends.
00:29:26And you have to spend your entire life there.
00:29:29You will get those effects.
00:29:30It's not possible that you won't get those effects.
00:29:32But here, I was very sad.
00:29:34I was very sad.
00:29:36I was filled with sadness.
00:29:38Like they say, the bathroom is full.
00:29:41Kitchen is full.
00:29:42She taught you how to fight.
00:29:44She taught you how to fight.
00:29:45By the way, a lot of girls are very naive.
00:29:48Sometimes, their mother-in-law makes them a little strong.
00:29:53Even if she tells them to learn how to cross the road.
00:29:58That's how it is, Nidha.
00:30:00No, that's how it is.
00:30:02No, that's how it is.
00:30:02She teaches them how to drive.
00:30:04But now I understand the perspective.
00:30:06Because now I am standing in those shoes.
00:30:10I feel that my son has to be dependent on her.
00:30:14I don't know how much I am to live or not live.
00:30:17And even if you have a life, you don't live in someone else's life all the time.
00:30:22I've got my life to live.
00:30:24So, the mother thinks that her son is in the care of her daughter-in-law.
00:30:31So, he should come so that she can be carefree.
00:30:34You know, things are going well.
00:30:35She should take care of him.
00:30:36Yes, I mean, this concept is also weird.
00:30:40Yes, I was about to say that.
00:30:41Who is a naive boy who is in her care?
00:30:45He is not a small baby.
00:30:46But what I mean to say is that in our Eastern society...
00:30:49They speak in dialects.
00:30:50It's not like that.
00:30:51But women have to look after the house.
00:30:54Women have to look after the chores.
00:30:57So, she is saying it because of this concern.
00:30:58Actually, mothers-in-law's heart...
00:31:00You are right. Now I understand.
00:31:04Their heart is cold.
00:31:05Like, they have made their house beautiful.
00:31:08They have maintained it until their bones were strong.
00:31:10After that, their bones were weak.
00:31:13So, they say that she is their daughter-in-law.
00:31:15Nida, you are right.
00:31:16So, they can't see it like that.
00:31:17Not at all.
00:31:18But what you were saying that they teach you from their heart...
00:31:21Or they do things from their heart.
00:31:22I don't think that sometimes it happens from their heart.
00:31:26Like, if the car...
00:31:27They should know that my daughter-in-law should know this.
00:31:31If I know this, she should know this.
00:31:33Because she will take good care of my son.
00:31:34They get such thoughts.
00:31:36I haven't even got it yet.
00:31:38So, I know it from now.
00:31:39That she should know everything.
00:31:40She should take care of the house.
00:31:42Like I have taken care of it.
00:31:43But Rabab, as mother-in-laws, we forget...
00:31:46That when we were daughters-in-law...
00:31:49We learnt things after a certain time.
00:31:54We didn't learn it right away.
00:31:55We didn't learn it right away when we were 18 years old.
00:31:58There are a lot of emotions.
00:31:59At a young age, you are very emotional and emotional.
00:32:02With the passage of time, you realise that you were being emotional.
00:32:06She wasn't saying it like that.
00:32:07She was saying it right.
00:32:08No, I am saying something else.
00:32:10I am saying that sometimes a mother-in-law expects more from a young girl.
00:32:14Because...
00:32:15She doesn't show emotions.
00:32:17Absolutely.
00:32:18Because when she becomes mature...
00:32:20You need a daughter-in-law at a young age.
00:32:23And when a daughter-in-law at a young age comes...
00:32:24You need to be mature and sensible.
00:32:27She will come with time.
00:32:30That's the thing.
00:32:31If we think that our daughter-in-law will come...
00:32:34The way we keep the house...
00:32:36The way we discipline her...
00:32:36With time. Exactly.
00:32:38She will learn slowly.
00:32:39She is still young.
00:32:43That's how it is.
00:32:43I would say that after marriage...
00:32:46Give the couple an incubation time.
00:32:50To settle down.
00:32:51And not just the bride is getting adjusted.
00:32:53The whole family is getting adjusted.
00:32:55Getting used to having a new member in the family.
00:32:59And in our family, two members came together.
00:33:03So it was a big change for us.
00:33:04What do you say?
00:33:06Should both the children get married together?
00:33:09Or do you think that they should get married one by one?
00:33:11So that...
00:33:12As experience.
00:33:12Yes.
00:33:13Look, there are pros and cons of both.
00:33:15I can't say that it's a final decision.
00:33:18That it's better to do it this way.
00:33:20On one hand, there are some pros and cons.
00:33:24That you...
00:33:25Because you are doing it together.
00:33:27Gold has become so expensive.
00:33:28I am saying that you got married at the right time.
00:33:31Both got married together.
00:33:33So this responsibility was fulfilled.
00:33:34Like Saba and Faisal.
00:33:37When there was a gap between them...
00:33:40They were also learning how to become a mother-in-law.
00:33:44So they didn't understand much in the first one.
00:33:46But the second time...
00:33:47Exactly.
00:33:47They learned from those experiences.
00:33:50So I think there is a gap.
00:33:53So you should learn something.
00:33:54Like I will become a mother-in-law.
00:33:56So it will be my first experience.
00:33:57I don't know how I will handle it.
00:34:00It's Balaj's turn.
00:34:01So it will take a long time.
00:34:01Yes, it's Balaj's turn.
00:34:03Then bones will break.
00:34:05This happens.
00:34:07Secondly, there is another aspect.
00:34:09Comparison.
00:34:11It's not a competition, it's a comparison.
00:34:13It happens automatically.
00:34:15So we were trying to be fair.
00:34:17Equal to both of them.
00:34:19You know.
00:34:19If it's jewellery, it's the same jewellery.
00:34:22It's the same set for both of them.
00:34:24It's the same shoes.
00:34:25It's the same budget.
00:34:26You know, the same clothes.
00:34:28So...
00:34:29It's very difficult to calculate.
00:34:31Even if it goes up or down, it becomes the next person's face.
00:34:34No, but the advantage for me is that we don't have to make comparisons.
00:34:39The choices will also change.
00:34:40That girl will have different choices.
00:34:41The other girl will have different choices.
00:34:43We have free hand.
00:34:44These days, you give free hand to your sister-in-law.
00:34:46So that she can make the payment.
00:34:48You can wear it as you wish.
00:34:49The girl can wear it.
00:34:50She can make the clothes according to her.
00:34:52It's not like in our times,
00:34:54that the wedding dress comes with a bang.
00:34:56Clothes come, you can wear it or not.
00:34:58But mine was very good.
00:35:00Thank God.
00:35:00Now, what is it?
00:35:01Finishing the housework by noon.
00:35:04Yes, it was our routine.
00:35:06My mother-in-law, in the morning, on her time...
00:35:09Time was like one thing.
00:35:11It was a key element.
00:35:12My wedding procession also came on time.
00:35:14Okay, so it's a discipline.
00:35:15Discipline.
00:35:16Very strict.
00:35:17You picked it from her.
00:35:18Yes.
00:35:19And the breakfast time is the same.
00:35:22It's not even 19 or 20.
00:35:25And after that, it was a routine.
00:35:27After that, the maid has to cut the onions,
00:35:30and prepare the garlic.
00:35:33She will sit in the kitchen.
00:35:34The food will be ready at both times.
00:35:36So that in the evening,
00:35:38it was our chill time.
00:35:40She would get ready,
00:35:41rest a little in the afternoon,
00:35:43and come to the lounge.
00:35:45And then she would watch TV,
00:35:47chat, family time.
00:35:49There was no kitchen hustle.
00:35:50She would just know that the maid has to make roti,
00:35:53or rice, whatever it is.
00:35:55She has to put it on the table.
00:35:56So it was very good that half the time...
00:35:59So you picked that thing.
00:36:00Is there a discipline in your house
00:36:02that you have to cook food on time and all?
00:36:04To a great extent.
00:36:05I mean, I try.
00:36:07Now, the kids,
00:36:09it's the same thing.
00:36:10Times have changed.
00:36:12Arif and I have the same routine.
00:36:14We get up at 8 on Sundays.
00:36:17We get up at 9 for breakfast.
00:36:19But the kids get up on their own time.
00:36:21They have their own breakfast.
00:36:23So in your time,
00:36:25you have to follow their discipline.
00:36:28But now, the times have changed.
00:36:31But in our life,
00:36:32it's the same thing.
00:36:34It's the same rhythm.
00:36:36But our generation,
00:36:40they were afraid of their elders,
00:36:41and now they're afraid of their kids.
00:36:43We're that generation.
00:36:45We're that generation.
00:36:46We're the Dhanpok generation.
00:36:48Grocery.
00:36:49Yes, Prabha.
00:36:51Okay, grocery.
00:36:52I learned from her how she used to take me.
00:36:55When she had to take a monthly order,
00:36:57she used to tell me the quantity.
00:36:59How many pulses, how much rice,
00:37:02how much ghee, how much of this.
00:37:05You know, you don't have manners.
00:37:07You add this, this, this, this.
00:37:10She used to tell me how much to take in a month.
00:37:14You know how much to consume.
00:37:16Bargaining.
00:37:17I didn't know.
00:37:19She taught me how to bargain.
00:37:21She didn't tell me to give.
00:37:23I didn't even know that I had to go and argue.
00:37:27Now I argue like this.
00:37:29What do I do?
00:37:30Oh, God.
00:37:32Kids are embarrassed when they come with us.
00:37:34Kids and my husband are embarrassed.
00:37:36They don't let us go.
00:37:37What will you do?
00:37:39I'll be happy that I saved so much money.
00:37:43You enjoy saving even Rs. 5.
00:37:46Kids embarrass you so much.
00:37:48What's wrong with you?
00:37:49I won't go with you.
00:37:51You're so cruel.
00:37:53I said, you don't know.
00:37:54This is enjoyment.
00:37:56She used to do it.
00:37:58She used to bargain.
00:38:00I learned that from her.
00:38:01You don't have to give what you say.
00:38:04How much meat will you get?
00:38:06How much chicken will you get in a month?
00:38:08I learned all these things from her.
00:38:11I didn't get all the meat after Bakra Eid.
00:38:15When we weren't married,
00:38:18we were making sacrifices.
00:38:20That's how it is.
00:38:21When we weren't married,
00:38:23my mother used to do everything.
00:38:25But I never learned from her.
00:38:27But when we got married,
00:38:28my mother-in-law taught me how to do it.
00:38:31She taught me how to plate the food.
00:38:34She taught me how to pack the food.
00:38:37Now, when I talk to you,
00:38:40I remember all these things.
00:38:43I learned it from her.
00:38:45She used to get mutton every month.
00:38:49She used to get mutton every month.
00:38:51She used to put a sheet on the dining table.
00:38:54She used to put a sheet on the dining table.
00:38:56She used to divide the food like this.
00:39:00She used to cook the food like this.
00:39:03She used to fry the food like this.
00:39:04Everyone used to gather in our house.
00:39:07We used to have Qiyas in the morning.
00:39:09She trained me.
00:39:11She taught me how to boil the food.
00:39:13She taught me how to fry the food.
00:39:17I learned all these things from my mother-in-law.
00:39:20She taught me how to cook the food.
00:39:22She taught me how to prepare the food.
00:39:25I learned all these things from my mother-in-law.
00:39:28Next, everything in the house should be in order.
00:39:33My mother-in-law is a perfectionist.
00:39:35Is that so?
00:39:36If she has come back from a trip,
00:39:39she will come and clean everything.
00:39:42After cleaning, she will keep her things in order.
00:39:45That's why...
00:39:46She keeps her suitcase in order for three days.
00:39:50I also keep my suitcase in order.
00:39:52As soon as I leave, I keep my suitcase in order.
00:39:54Seriously?
00:39:55I keep my laundry clothes in order.
00:39:58I can't keep them in order until I keep them in order.
00:40:00You can't keep them in order.
00:40:01She used to do this.
00:40:02She used to do this when there was a feast at home.
00:40:04She used to do this when there was a feast at home.
00:40:07She used to dry everything and keep it in order.
00:40:11You have to follow these things.
00:40:13You have to learn from your mother-in-law.
00:40:15So, I learned all these things from her.
00:40:18Cleaning, tidying up, everything.
00:40:21A lot of things.
00:40:22I feel that I have spent very little time with my mother-in-law.
00:40:28I got married early.
00:40:30She is your bonus mom.
00:40:32You learn from her.
00:40:33She grooms you.
00:40:35My mother-in-law grooms me a lot.
00:40:37When you come into the practical life,
00:40:39you feel that it's a good thing for you.
00:40:42My mother-in-law used to teach me very lovingly.
00:40:44My mother-in-law used to be strict with me.
00:40:45You need to be strict with your mother-in-law.
00:40:47Sometimes, a mother is strict with her child.
00:40:50So, those things have come in handy.
00:40:52We give answers to our mothers-in-law.
00:40:55My mother-in-law tells me to tidy up the cupboard.
00:40:57I tell her that I will do it.
00:40:59You don't give answers to your mother-in-law.
00:41:01You tell her that you will do it.
00:41:03My mother-in-law needs everything.
00:41:04She needs utensils at night.
00:41:06Now, it's time for daughters-in-law to groom their mothers-in-law.
00:41:10No, aunty.
00:41:12You don't have to call me aunty.
00:41:14You don't have to do this.
00:41:15You don't have to do this.
00:41:17When I had my first baby,
00:41:20I had to massage her.
00:41:21I had to sit on her head.
00:41:23I had to tie her up.
00:41:25I had to do everything.
00:41:26All the mothers-in-law tell you.
00:41:27I had to measure the food.
00:41:29I had to do everything for six days.
00:41:31After that, she had a fallage.
00:41:33She had a stroke.
00:41:34She had a fallage.
00:41:35She had to do everything for six days.
00:41:37When the baby was born,
00:41:38I had to tie her clothes.
00:41:40I had to put her side.
00:41:41You had to massage her.
00:41:42Yes, I had to massage her.
00:41:43She taught me everything in six days.
00:41:45On the sixth day,
00:41:46everyone in our family had a baby.
00:41:48My brother-in-law had a baby.
00:41:50My sister-in-law had a baby.
00:41:51So, everyone had a baby.
00:41:52There was a celebration at home.
00:41:55I used to host the program.
00:41:57We are all hopeful.
00:41:58And everyone in my family was hopeful.
00:42:01Everyone used to make fun of me.
00:42:03My sister-in-law, my sister-in-law, me.
00:42:06They used to tell me to put a title outside the house.
00:42:09You were so normal.
00:42:10Everyone in Panjiri was normal.
00:42:12Everyone suffered.
00:42:13Panjiri is from my family.
00:42:15Pickle and Panjiri are from my family.
00:42:17Panjiri is always from my family.
00:42:18My mother used to make it.
00:42:19After a break, we will be back.
00:42:22Good morning.
00:42:34Welcome.
00:42:34Welcome back.
00:42:35Good morning, Pakistan.
00:42:36The show has started.
00:42:38We can't talk during the break.
00:42:43She thinks I am joking.
00:42:44I am welcoming her.
00:42:47We have a caller with us.
00:42:49Let's see what she has to say.
00:42:50Rukaiya from Karachi.
00:42:52Yes, Rukaiya.
00:42:53I got married at a very young age.
00:42:56My mother was a working woman.
00:42:59My father was also a businessman.
00:43:01We used to use our house a lot.
00:43:05He never stopped us.
00:43:06He let us do whatever we wanted.
00:43:08He got us whatever we wanted.
00:43:10We were not used to thinking or being stingy.
00:43:14We thought we would get a lot of money when we got married.
00:43:18But when we got married, the system was different.
00:43:20My mother-in-law used to think before she used anything.
00:43:23She used to think about what to put in the food.
00:43:26She used to think about how much money to spend.
00:43:28She used to think about how much money to save every month.
00:43:30She used to balance everything.
00:43:32I have learnt balancing from her.
00:43:35I used to feel bad about a lot of things in the beginning.
00:43:38But today, I feel that if I balance anything in my life,
00:43:43it is because of my mother-in-law.
00:43:45We used to spend a lot of money openly.
00:43:48My mother-in-law has taught us how to be stingy and balanced.
00:43:53She has said a very good thing.
00:43:55We used to feel bad about it.
00:43:57It is a fact.
00:43:59When you are a new bride and you are cooking food in the kitchen,
00:44:03you feel bad about it.
00:44:06You feel like, what should I do?
00:44:10The small things that you were saying,
00:44:13you used to feel bad about it.
00:44:17Even if you feel bad about it, you have already said it.
00:44:22I am saying that the mind is set.
00:44:24We are already expecting that our mother-in-law will do something.
00:44:28That is what I am saying.
00:44:30She has used this word a lot.
00:44:32Saas.
00:44:33Yes.
00:44:35She has said a very good thing.
00:44:37She used to feel bad about it.
00:44:39But when she came into the practical life,
00:44:41she realised how important it was.
00:44:44Don't argue.
00:44:48Yes, Ayesha.
00:44:49Yes, my mother-in-law explained this tip to me very well.
00:44:53I think it will be very useful for me.
00:44:56Because we both were from the same batch.
00:44:59We were class fellows.
00:45:00Husband and wife.
00:45:01Yes, husband and wife.
00:45:02And it was a love marriage.
00:45:03You are emotionally connected and you are like friends.
00:45:07Yes.
00:45:08So, there is an argument.
00:45:09Yes.
00:45:10But when a husband gets married, he becomes a husband.
00:45:15He is just a love letter before marriage.
00:45:19And he has to go back and forth.
00:45:22I tell my father that he is not the person
00:45:25with whom I married and fell in love.
00:45:26He is not any other person.
00:45:30I mean, you have been signed on the papers of marriage.
00:45:33You don't have any temperament.
00:45:35What have you become?
00:45:37So, he doesn't answer you.
00:45:38He doesn't answer you.
00:45:39And this person was something else before 14th.
00:45:43He used to roam around.
00:45:45He used to write poems on the phone before 14th.
00:45:50I mean, he used to stand at the gate of the college.
00:45:53Where did he go to get flowers?
00:45:55Where did he go to get flowers?
00:45:56He didn't get anything.
00:45:57He didn't even get a piece of a carrot.
00:45:59When I used to come to pick him from here,
00:46:02he used to keep a carrot and flowers on the seat of the car.
00:46:05And if you ask him, he used to say,
00:46:09may God bless you.
00:46:10Yes.
00:46:12So, he used to say from here as well.
00:46:13Yes.
00:46:15And if I ask him to get flowers, he will say,
00:46:17you are so filmy.
00:46:18Oh, brother.
00:46:18When there was no marriage, there was an engagement.
00:46:21Now you are talking about flowers.
00:46:23He used to tell me to look at my age and my desires.
00:46:28I mean, he is not a human being.
00:46:30Where did I get stuck?
00:46:31He was better than the person who used to study with me.
00:46:34And the second thing is that
00:46:37as soon as I came home, my mind went to the seventh heaven.
00:46:40My neck became stiff.
00:46:41I mean, I was my mother's only son.
00:46:43What happened in that?
00:46:44My mother-in-law made me understand that
00:46:47there is a lot of attitude, arrogance and anger.
00:46:50My mother-in-law made me understand that
00:46:53no matter what you say, there is a lot of anger.
00:46:56My auntie told me,
00:46:58whatever he says, don't answer him.
00:47:01At that time, keep quiet.
00:47:02He is crazy.
00:47:04What can I do? I ruined his life.
00:47:07I was the only one.
00:47:08That was sweet.
00:47:09At that time, you keep quiet.
00:47:11After a while, give him food and water.
00:47:14Give him cold water.
00:47:16And then talk to him.
00:47:17Then he listens to everything.
00:47:19This tip of hers is very golden.
00:47:22You have a lot of expectations.
00:47:24Especially in love marriages.
00:47:25Your love.
00:47:26The rose flowers.
00:47:28A mother knows her child.
00:47:30She will feed him.
00:47:32That's it.
00:47:33I think this is universally accepted.
00:47:36Universally.
00:47:37A mother knows.
00:47:38If a man gets food,
00:47:40my husband, until he doesn't get food on the table,
00:47:44he is irritated.
00:47:45Everything is poisonous.
00:47:47As soon as the food is gone.
00:47:48She says, when he comes back from the hospital,
00:47:52give him cold water.
00:47:53Cook chicken for him.
00:47:55Give him minced meat.
00:47:57He likes minced meat.
00:47:58Give him chicken.
00:48:00Give him cold water.
00:48:01When he sits down after eating,
00:48:04then talk to him.
00:48:05Then talk to him.
00:48:06Then see how he listens.
00:48:08Very good.
00:48:09Very good.
00:48:11After that, the doctor is set.
00:48:12And what I used to do earlier,
00:48:14listen, this happened today.
00:48:16There was a commotion in the house.
00:48:19The tip that aunty gave,
00:48:21you don't have to argue.
00:48:22Give him cold water.
00:48:23Give him chicken.
00:48:24Give him minced meat.
00:48:25The doctor is set.
00:48:26After that, whatever you do...
00:48:28Amazing.
00:48:30It goes with every human being, actually.
00:48:32True.
00:48:33Very good.
00:48:34That's why I say,
00:48:35an arranged marriage starts with a lot of peace.
00:48:39There is no expectation.
00:48:40Because there is zero expectation.
00:48:42In fact, my husband was on the other side.
00:48:44If I expected something romantic,
00:48:46he would settle me down.
00:48:48If you expected a Mercedes and got a Pico cycle,
00:48:51this is also dangerous in an arranged marriage.
00:48:53No matter what happens,
00:48:54we don't think about it.
00:48:55You know that you will get what you like.
00:48:58That's what will happen.
00:48:59If you liked a Mercedes and got a Pico cycle,
00:49:02then?
00:49:02Tell me, give me an answer.
00:49:03I don't think so.
00:49:05Risk carries.
00:49:06You are already standing on the ground.
00:49:08You are not flying in the air.
00:49:10So when someone takes you one step higher,
00:49:12you say, wow, he is a useful person.
00:49:15He turned out to be a very good person.
00:49:16Yes.
00:49:17But in this breath,
00:49:19your horoscope...
00:49:20No, today...
00:49:23My whole life...
00:49:25No, no.
00:49:26Luck also matters.
00:49:27Anyway, I am happy.
00:49:29I am happy.
00:49:29God bless you.
00:49:30By the way, this relationship is like this.
00:49:32This is really destiny.
00:49:33Yes.
00:49:34Everything is destiny.
00:49:35Your destiny...
00:49:37God has told you that you have to get this much.
00:49:40I have to give you this much.
00:49:41When do I have to give?
00:49:42What do I have to give?
00:49:43Your own actions also matter.
00:49:45I will tell you this too.
00:49:46There is also an investment in a relationship.
00:49:47How much you would have gone together.
00:49:48You can't leave everything on one partner.
00:49:51You can't blame both spouses.
00:49:54You also have a 50% contribution.
00:49:56There is an investment in every relationship.
00:49:58How much you have given.
00:49:59These days, there is a lot of issue of divorce.
00:50:02Earlier...
00:50:03Today, we are talking about husband's mother.
00:50:05We have gone to another topic.
00:50:07You started talking about your husbands.
00:50:09Okay.
00:50:09Okay, dressing up.
00:50:10Yes.
00:50:11My mother-in-law was very good at wearing and flying.
00:50:15Those were the times when matching was very important.
00:50:18If she had a mauve dress, her stockings were also mauve.
00:50:21No.
00:50:22No.
00:50:22I swear to God.
00:50:23We are going on air.
00:50:25My husband would bear witness to that.
00:50:27My mother-in-law used to wear very good quality fabrics.
00:50:33Like me.
00:50:33She picked it up from a shop in Pathan and wore it.
00:50:35Yes.
00:50:36She would only have clothes from selected outlets.
00:50:39My mother-in-law used to wear good clothes.
00:50:42Her shoes...
00:50:43She used to shop for her wife.
00:50:46She had an issue with her hair.
00:50:48She used to bring my sister-in-law.
00:50:51She used to buy matching bangles, stockings, shoes and clothes.
00:50:57She used to live like a queen.
00:50:59So, she used to wear all the things you used to wear in the evening.
00:51:02Yes.
00:51:02Stockings and bangles.
00:51:04It was the winter season.
00:51:05If she had to go somewhere, she used to get ready and go.
00:51:09Wow.
00:51:10She didn't have to comb her hair like us.
00:51:12I was very fond of it.
00:51:14I mean...
00:51:15Yes.
00:51:16My mother-in-law used to get ready.
00:51:18I was not used to it.
00:51:22Again, we belong to the category of getting married early.
00:51:26I gave my last exam in college and got married.
00:51:29I still find jewellery to be a nuisance.
00:51:31I hardly wear it.
00:51:33Even on sets, I take off my panties and wear rings.
00:51:37They get lost.
00:51:40My mother-in-law used to tell me to wear bangles.
00:51:43She used to ask me why my ears were empty.
00:51:45My mother-in-law used to force me to wear bangles.
00:51:47She used to tell me to wear bangles as I was married.
00:51:50Yes.
00:51:50I shouldn't have empty arms.
00:51:51You should wear bangles when you wear two bangles.
00:51:53I shouldn't have empty hands.
00:51:55I learnt all these things from my mother-in-law.
00:51:57I used to keep my clothes in a good manner.
00:52:02I didn't keep them in a mess.
00:52:05Her wardrobe, shoes and clothes were in a good condition.
00:52:10That's great.
00:52:12Totke.
00:52:14She was very good at cleaning.
00:52:19I learnt from her how to clean the furniture and doors.
00:52:26Now, there are sprays and so many things.
00:52:29You go to the store and get them.
00:52:32She taught me how to add hot water to a little bit of mud oil.
00:52:39Then, add two to three drops of oil.
00:52:44Then, take it in a ream.
00:52:45You know the thin ream, right?
00:52:47Yes.
00:52:49She used to clean the furniture and it used to melt.
00:52:54It used to shine.
00:52:55I learnt all these things from her.
00:53:00In the mud oil?
00:53:01Add hot water to the mud oil.
00:53:04Then, add two to three drops of oil.
00:53:06I make it at home.
00:53:08I add turpentine oil, mustard oil and turpentine oil.
00:53:17One more item.
00:53:18I add three items in an equal quantity.
00:53:21Then, I spray it and clean the soft clothes.
00:53:23She used to clean the furniture in a month.
00:53:25She used to do it herself.
00:53:27She used to teach me how to do it.
00:53:29She used to clean the furniture in a month.
00:53:31It used to feel as if the furniture was new.
00:53:35It used to shine.
00:53:37The dirt used to get removed.
00:53:39So, this is a kind of learning.
00:53:42Now, it has changed in the dry.
00:53:44Now, it's 7 CF.
00:53:45Now, you don't have to spray it.
00:53:48No, but the sprays are very expensive.
00:53:51They are very expensive.
00:53:52I once saw my maid spraying it and dusting it.
00:53:57I said, are you crazy?
00:53:58This is a polished type of spray.
00:54:00You are making it dusty.
00:54:02Yes, the maids can't do it.
00:54:05The sprays are very expensive.
00:54:08They can't do it.
00:54:09The spray costs Rs. 1000.
00:54:12It can't be used in two or three things.
00:54:14Don't skip food.
00:54:16My mother-in-law is very particular.
00:54:19Nothing should be left.
00:54:20Especially in the plate.
00:54:21You can eat as much as you want.
00:54:24My habit was spoiled.
00:54:26Yes.
00:54:26It's important to save the spoiled habit.
00:54:28Because my mother didn't say anything.
00:54:30She was a pampered daughter.
00:54:31She was pampered.
00:54:32And she didn't go to her in-laws.
00:54:34So, my mother-in-law said,
00:54:35you have to save the food.
00:54:37She used to get angry.
00:54:40It's a very good thing.
00:54:42When children leave food in the plate,
00:54:44the blessings end.
00:54:45It's a very bad thing.
00:54:46If you throw a piece of toast,
00:54:49paratha or roti in the dry roti,
00:54:54that doesn't look nice.
00:54:55Take as much food as you want.
00:54:57Save it.
00:54:58The plate should be clean.
00:55:01My mother-in-law used to say,
00:55:04there was no food left.
00:55:06Fresh food was made the next day.
00:55:08We save it.
00:55:09We keep it in the fridge and eat it the next day.
00:55:12Fresh food was made.
00:55:13And there was no food left.
00:55:15I used to say,
00:55:16how good she is.
00:55:17Calculation.
00:55:18There was no food left.
00:55:19Everyone's stomachs were full.
00:55:21Because my father-in-law didn't order it from outside.
00:55:24Today's kids order food from outside.
00:55:27Order food from a hotel.
00:55:30You made food with a lot of love.
00:55:32That's why it's saved.
00:55:33Yes.
00:55:34I feel very sad.
00:55:35If I cook and my child doesn't like it.
00:55:38I do it occasionally.
00:55:40I say, I made food with love.
00:55:42I order it and sit.
00:55:44She says, mom, I ordered it.
00:55:45Yes.
00:55:46This is very bad.
00:55:48Okay, becoming a victim.
00:55:50Hmm.
00:55:52This tip is also very useful.
00:55:53Okay, in that...
00:55:56She makes fun of me.
00:55:58This is also very useful.
00:55:59This tip is very useful.
00:56:00Okay, in that,
00:56:02there are good victims.
00:56:03From morning to evening.
00:56:05They are active.
00:56:06Okay, she is still alive and she is 92.
00:56:08Mashallah.
00:56:09Mashallah.
00:56:10She is still active and everything.
00:56:12In that,
00:56:13father-in-law left in the morning.
00:56:14He is coming to the office in the evening.
00:56:16And there are good victims.
00:56:17They are fine.
00:56:18Everything is fine.
00:56:20But in the evening, I used to notice
00:56:23that when he comes back
00:56:24and he has to do something
00:56:26with his father-in-law.
00:56:28Oh, this happened to me.
00:56:31The maid has troubled me so much.
00:56:34This happened and that happened.
00:56:36So, I am a victim.
00:56:37In that, father-in-law used to do a lot.
00:56:39Okay, like this.
00:56:40Oh, I am still in pain.
00:56:42My knees are not working.
00:56:45So, my father-in-law
00:56:47used to take a lot of care of them.
00:56:50Okay, come, come.
00:56:51Like this, everything.
00:56:53So, in that, I saw a lot that
00:56:55I don't have any negativity in me.
00:56:59I don't want to do anything.
00:57:00I want to do this, I want to do that.
00:57:02I don't know how to cry.
00:57:04But when I saw that
00:57:05when they are crying,
00:57:07as soon as the bell rang
00:57:09or the car was locked,
00:57:11they become victims.
00:57:12Victims in front of the son
00:57:14and also in front of the father-in-law.
00:57:17And those things didn't happen.
00:57:18But they were sad.
00:57:20So, in that, I saw and learned from them
00:57:22that if you really want to do something,
00:57:26Abbas, there was a big problem today.
00:57:28The kids have troubled me so much.
00:57:30Abbas is not watching, brother.
00:57:31No, he is in the hospital.
00:57:34I said, Abbas.
00:57:35He won't watch it repeatedly.
00:57:36He won't watch it in the morning show.
00:57:38If a friend's wife watches it,
00:57:39she will say, Abbas, check it on YouTube.
00:57:41Check the program on YouTube.
00:57:43So, in that,
00:57:43you don't have to show positivity all the time.
00:57:46You don't have to show negativity.
00:57:47The kids have troubled me so much.
00:57:50I am still suffering.
00:57:53Son, take me to the doctor.
00:57:55Do all my tests.
00:57:56Blood tests are done every month.
00:57:58But nothing is coming out.
00:57:59I am getting diabetes, urine,
00:58:01blood pressure, cholesterol.
00:58:03Mother, I have taken all the tests.
00:58:05How many times do I have to do the tests?
00:58:06No, son.
00:58:07I should do all the tests.
00:58:09I am not able to do anything.
00:58:12Become a victim.
00:58:13You are sick.
00:58:14You are not positive.
00:58:16You should involve yourself.
00:58:19Your husband and son should know
00:58:20that you are sick.
00:58:22You are troubled.
00:58:23Oh, God. I am sorry.
00:58:23I will get sick.
00:58:24I mean, I think
00:58:26that it will happen as you say.
00:58:28And don't show that you are very happy
00:58:31and you have servants
00:58:33and you are in prosperity.
00:58:34Son, do all my tests.
00:58:36Take me to the doctor.
00:58:38Son, I am suffering.
00:58:39What is the use of it?
00:58:40It is just that you get attention.
00:58:41Yes.
00:58:42I will tell you one thing.
00:58:45Especially, women like her,
00:58:50whether it is my mother or my husband,
00:58:52when they become free,
00:58:54or if they have retired from their jobs
00:58:57or if they are at home,
00:58:58they are not able to cook in the kitchen
00:59:02and they are not active.
00:59:03So, in a way, they need attention.
00:59:07They need an attention seeking attitude.
00:59:09They need attention.
00:59:11We will all be like this.
00:59:13We will all be like this.
00:59:14When we will not be able to do anything,
00:59:16when we will be in a corner of the house,
00:59:18we will also need attention.
00:59:20And because we seek attention,
00:59:23we feel that our son or our husband
00:59:25will never give us attention
00:59:27when we are unwell.
00:59:30Yes.
00:59:31So, this is not just one mother-in-law.
00:59:33There are many mother-in-laws.
00:59:34When a child cries, he gets milk.
00:59:36Yes.
00:59:37That is why I understood that
00:59:40they need attention.
00:59:41And because of that,
00:59:42if you are a mother-in-law,
00:59:45but you are a working lady,
00:59:46you get the attention of so many people.
00:59:49You won't need it.
00:59:50If I am at your age,
00:59:52and I am also working,
00:59:53then I won't need it.
00:59:54No one will need it.
00:59:55They won't need it.
00:59:56They won't need it.
00:59:57But if we are at home,
00:59:59and we have got attention all our lives,
01:00:02we won't get it.
01:00:03Then we will also do something.
01:00:03Okay, there is one more aspect.
01:00:05We will talk about that after the break.
01:00:07Okay?
01:00:07After a short break.
01:00:08Good morning.
01:00:10Good morning.
01:00:10Good morning.
01:00:11Good morning.
01:00:12Good morning.
01:00:13Good morning.
01:00:14Good morning.
01:00:15Good morning.
01:00:16Good morning.
01:00:17Good morning.
01:00:18Good morning.
01:00:19Good morning.
01:00:20Welcome.
01:00:21Welcome back.
01:00:21Good morning, Pakistan.
01:00:23Today, we are going to talk
01:00:25about what we learnt from our mother-in-law.
01:00:27Let's have a caller with us.
01:00:29Let's ask her what she learnt.
01:00:32Whether you learnt anything from your mother-in-law or not,
01:00:34but you learnt to gossip very well.
01:00:38Because my mother-in-law was four years old.
01:00:40And they loved to gossip and talk to each other.
01:00:46At my house, my mother didn't even let me sit with four people.
01:00:49She used to say that if an elder person comes,
01:00:51you shouldn't sit with him.
01:00:53And anyway, to adjust in their family,
01:00:56I had to do all this.
01:00:57Gossiping, gossiping, talking to each other,
01:01:00I had to do all this to adjust in their family.
01:01:05And anyway, in the beginning, I didn't enjoy it.
01:01:08When I adjusted with these people,
01:01:10when I listened to their talks,
01:01:12sometimes a woman's, sometimes a man's,
01:01:14Farzana said something to him,
01:01:15his husband said something to him,
01:01:17his mother-in-law is like this,
01:01:18his mother-in-law is like that,
01:01:19his daughter-in-law did this to him.
01:01:20After listening to all this,
01:01:22I also started to have a lot of interest in it.
01:01:25Now, I have also started to take interest
01:01:27in a lot of gossips and gossip.
01:01:30Oh, my God.
01:01:31Oh, my God, these two words that have come
01:01:34on your show today, Nida.
01:01:35I mean,
01:01:36She is very sad from the bottom of her heart.
01:01:38She is sad from the bottom of her heart.
01:01:39No, she is not sad, she is happy.
01:01:41She has found her happiness.
01:01:42That's why it is said that a person should find
01:01:44his happiness in this world.
01:01:45Why shouldn't he be in gossip?
01:01:46Yes.
01:01:48Where you have to adjust,
01:01:49you have to settle,
01:01:50you have to be happy,
01:01:51you have to survive.
01:01:52But you must be going through so many disasters.
01:01:53Look at me.
01:01:54You must be going through so many disasters.
01:01:55If this is your survival, then it's fine.
01:01:57You have to be happy for survival.
01:01:59Oh, God.
01:02:00You have to find your happiness in this world.
01:02:02What is your happiness in?
01:02:04You have to learn that.
01:02:06That's right.
01:02:07It's not a bad thing.
01:02:07Absolutely right.
01:02:08You won't go to sin.
01:02:12Okay, how much more...
01:02:15She is boosting up.
01:02:16She is boosting up.
01:02:17Okay, fine.
01:02:18Keep going, sister.
01:02:19You keep gossiping with us.
01:02:19That's why I said,
01:02:20mischief is a big deal.
01:02:22Keep gossiping, sister.
01:02:23If you are happy in this.
01:02:24Be happy in the drama.
01:02:26Entertaining guests.
01:02:28Yes, this is a big main feature of our in-laws.
01:02:31First of all, guests didn't come suddenly.
01:02:35There was a protocol.
01:02:36If someone wanted to come,
01:02:37they would call and inform.
01:02:38They would come at 5 in the evening.
01:02:39They would come at this time.
01:02:41So, my mother-in-law's very elaborate
01:02:45tea, water, food, whatever it was,
01:02:48it was above the normal level.
01:02:52I mean, she was able to choose
01:02:54whatever she wanted on the table.
01:02:56The room, wherever the guests wanted to sit,
01:02:59she liked that cleanliness.
01:03:01She was two steps ahead of that.
01:03:04It should look nice.
01:03:05And it's not like she would come
01:03:07and sit on her own.
01:03:08She was well-dressed.
01:03:09She was also set.
01:03:11The table was set.
01:03:12She was eating and gossiping.
01:03:13And she was such a lively woman
01:03:16that everyone used to come and meet happily.
01:03:18They would have, you know,
01:03:19time of their life in their presence.
01:03:22My father-in-law and mother-in-law,
01:03:23may God grant them both heaven.
01:03:25And...
01:03:26I had a lot of fun.
01:03:28I also learned a lot from my mother-in-law
01:03:30about hospitality.
01:03:31Whenever my mother-in-law came,
01:03:32even in the evening,
01:03:34she would make chicken karahi for me.
01:03:35She wouldn't let me leave without having food.
01:03:37First of all, it's not the time to eat.
01:03:40She came to meet me.
01:03:41It's time for tea, not food.
01:03:43But, if someone comes to your house,
01:03:46they won't leave without having food.
01:03:48I learned a lot from her.
01:03:49I liked her quality.
01:03:51As long as her hands and feet...
01:03:53And it's a feast, right?
01:03:55She wouldn't take her daughter-in-law's help.
01:03:57She wouldn't make us salad and raita.
01:03:59She would make all the food.
01:04:00And earlier, there were no servants.
01:04:02Your 24-hour servants.
01:04:04And I used to say that they were single-handed.
01:04:06They used to do all these things.
01:04:08And they used to make so much food
01:04:09and you used to do all those things.
01:04:11Single-handed and the spices too.
01:04:13Yes.
01:04:14Not the packet spices.
01:04:15They didn't add the packet spices.
01:04:16Chutneys.
01:04:18The spices.
01:04:19Their planning was very good.
01:04:21I mean, all the women of my mother-in-law's age
01:04:25their planning was very good.
01:04:27Like how I...
01:04:28Yes, like that.
01:04:29Look, I learned all these things from her.
01:04:32Like Shami Kebab.
01:04:34When there's time,
01:04:35according to the menu,
01:04:37if there's time,
01:04:38if they get free early,
01:04:39then she would make Shami Kebab
01:04:41and keep it in the freezer.
01:04:42Samosas.
01:04:43She used to make things.
01:04:44She used to make pattis herself.
01:04:46Pattis and samosas.
01:04:47Oh, my God.
01:04:48She used to make everything.
01:04:49She used to make samosas.
01:04:50Now, we know how you are, dear.
01:04:53Now, we know the secret.
01:04:55No, no. She has a lot of hands.
01:04:56Masha Allah.
01:04:57Masha Allah. There's no doubt about it.
01:04:59That she used to take me to this thing.
01:05:02And tomatoes,
01:05:03sometimes they get so expensive.
01:05:05When they were available at a good price,
01:05:07she would boil them and put them in a bucket.
01:05:10The tomatoes would be in the deep freezer.
01:05:11Yes, in the deep freezer.
01:05:12So, she would take them out,
01:05:14cut them, defrost them and use them.
01:05:17Like, for example,
01:05:18I was used to the deep freezer.
01:05:20The small one on the fridge
01:05:22used to be the freezer.
01:05:23So, she used to take them to the deep freezer
01:05:25and store them like this.
01:05:27Peas and potatoes.
01:05:29She used to cut all these things.
01:05:31Now, this is how it is for me.
01:05:32Everything is cut.
01:05:33It's made in packets.
01:05:35You take it out immediately.
01:05:36It's so convenient
01:05:37that when a guest comes,
01:05:39you don't have to keep two things.
01:05:41You can quickly make kebabs.
01:05:43If there's marinated chicken,
01:05:45you can quickly make karahi and roast it.
01:05:48So, these are her very good habits.
01:05:51Wow.
01:05:52Now, what is this?
01:05:53Sewing and karahi.
01:05:55Who taught you this?
01:05:56Earlier, we used to have frills.
01:05:59We used to have frills pillows.
01:06:00Yes, yes.
01:06:01So, at that time, it was very...
01:06:03So, she said...
01:06:04Once, I went to the market with her.
01:06:06So, I told her to take the frills once.
01:06:10She said, no.
01:06:11I'll tell you at home.
01:06:13It's so easy to make frills.
01:06:15And it's so expensive outside.
01:06:17You'll have to pay this much.
01:06:19So, she brought me here
01:06:23and she taught me how to make frills on the machine.
01:06:28And then I made frills and pillows.
01:06:31I used to make frills and pillows in fashion at that time.
01:06:34Yes, the Victorian style.
01:06:35Yes, that one.
01:06:36And the bed had frills under it.
01:06:40So, I learned that from her.
01:06:42Yes.
01:06:42Wow.
01:06:43And then I made it.
01:06:44She taught me first.
01:06:45Then I made a bedsheet and showed it to her.
01:06:47Very good.
01:06:48Good girl.
01:06:49Very good.
01:06:50Very good.
01:06:51Confidence.
01:06:52Yes.
01:06:53My mother-in-law...
01:06:54You were a model.
01:06:54What did you lack in confidence?
01:06:56I lacked a lot.
01:06:57Yes.
01:06:58My mother-in-law was very confident.
01:06:59I mean, I was always confident.
01:07:02But I was always confused.
01:07:04When I was cooking, my friends...
01:07:05So, you were confused with household chores.
01:07:06Yes, household chores.
01:07:07So, I was cooking biryani.
01:07:09My friend came and told me
01:07:10that I should do this and that.
01:07:13So, I was cooking.
01:07:14My mother-in-law kept listening to me.
01:07:15One day, she came to me and said,
01:07:18why are you listening to her?
01:07:19You make such good biryani.
01:07:21No one needs to listen to you.
01:07:23Cook it as per your wish.
01:07:24You make it very well.
01:07:25Don't ask anyone or listen to anyone.
01:07:28So, I understood this.
01:07:29I said, why are you getting confused
01:07:31when you make such good biryani?
01:07:33Exactly.
01:07:33Why are you giving so much space to someone
01:07:36to come and give me advice?
01:07:38She said, don't take advice.
01:07:40Be confident.
01:07:41And people like to give free advice.
01:07:43People like to give free advice.
01:07:45If you have a kid, it's a problem.
01:07:48Don't do this or that.
01:07:49Everyone is trying to get rid of confidence.
01:07:52No one is trying to increase it.
01:07:54No one speaks in front of my mother-in-law.
01:07:56She speaks for herself.
01:07:57She says, cook like this.
01:07:58Be confident.
01:08:00You are perfect.
01:08:01You cook very well.
01:08:02You dress up very well.
01:08:03You don't need anyone's advice.
01:08:06Then I used to ask her what I should wear.
01:08:08How does it look?
01:08:09I used to wear dull colors.
01:08:12I used to wear light colors.
01:08:13She said, wear dark colors.
01:08:14You look good in shocking pink.
01:08:17You should make your hair like this.
01:08:18Apply red lipstick.
01:08:19Sometimes, apply eyeliner.
01:08:21I used to love red lipstick.
01:08:24You get confidence from your mother-in-law.
01:08:26She is like your mother.
01:08:28You have a mother-in-law.
01:08:32So, there are many things.
01:08:33I appreciate my mother-in-law a lot.
01:08:34Keep an eye on everything.
01:08:38This is also a problem.
01:08:39If she had said this, I would have asked her.
01:08:41No.
01:08:42She must have learnt a lot from her mother-in-law.
01:08:45Yes, because she had a lot of experience.
01:08:50I saw that if she used to leave her room,
01:08:56after 10 to 15 minutes,
01:08:58she used to make a round of the house.
01:09:02Who is coming? Who is going?
01:09:04The bell is ringing.
01:09:06What is happening? What is not happening?
01:09:07She used to keep an eye on everything.
01:09:10If we go to our rooms,
01:09:13we spend 2 to 3 hours inside.
01:09:16We are lying on our mobile phones or watching a drama.
01:09:21This is not the case.
01:09:22Her activity level is very good.
01:09:24If you look at it physically,
01:09:27if she is this old,
01:09:29you walk for 15 to 20 minutes.
01:09:35Half an hour. One hour.
01:09:36You keep an eye on everything.
01:09:38You keep an eye on the maids.
01:09:39When my children were young,
01:09:41I was working from the beginning.
01:09:43I used to come to the shows and clinics.
01:09:45I always kept my children at home.
01:09:48I never worried in my life
01:09:50that someone would harm my children.
01:09:53God forbid, someone would give them drugs.
01:09:55I never had a theft in my house.
01:09:57Never did a maid create a scene.
01:10:02Because my mother-in-law used to be very straightforward.
01:10:08She knew that her mother-in-law or grandmother
01:10:12would create a scene.
01:10:13Because of that, she was physically active.
01:10:17She used to look around the house.
01:10:19She used to keep an eye on everything.
01:10:21She used to find out everything.
01:10:23This is very good.
01:10:25I practice this.
01:10:27It is not good to sit in the room all the time.
01:10:33You should keep an eye on the house.
01:10:35You should keep an eye on the children and the maids.
01:10:38You should go out and see what is happening.
01:10:40There are many such things.
01:10:41I learned one thing from her.
01:10:43I didn't understand it at that time.
01:10:45When you are old, you don't have white hair in the sun.
01:10:50You get an experience about people.
01:10:52When the maids used to come,
01:10:54we were naive.
01:10:55We used to listen to them.
01:10:56We used to listen to them.
01:10:58They knew how much water they were in.
01:11:00They used to count the feathers.
01:11:02She used to tell us that what we did was not right.
01:11:06At that time, we used to think that she was wrong.
01:11:08But after some time,
01:11:10we realized that we couldn't see what she was seeing.
01:11:16Later, we realized that she was right.
01:11:20There are many rifts here.
01:11:26The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law don't allow the maid to stay.
01:11:28They don't allow her to stay.
01:11:30Because they know that she is a young girl.
01:11:35They will make her a fool.
01:11:37This has happened to me many times.
01:11:39That's how it is.
01:11:40So, this is the scenario.
01:11:41Keeping fake fasts.
01:11:44This is one aspect.
01:11:46But the element of spirituality
01:11:50has been left inside me.
01:11:53Because I feel that if it's not there,
01:11:56like in Muharram, after Hajj...
01:11:59Otherwise, she used to fast on important days.
01:12:07They don't leave fasts when they are sick.
01:12:09Yes, that's how it was.
01:12:10So, she was very prompt about it.
01:12:12She used to pray for everyone.
01:12:17Now, I try to pray for my family wherever I am.
01:12:24I pray for them.
01:12:26This is a very important thing.
01:12:28It's the month of Safar.
01:12:30So, you have to fast 313 times in Surah Muzzammil.
01:12:32Exactly.
01:12:34Our elders used to believe in these things a lot.
01:12:40They used to say that they have to do this.
01:12:42Now, Ramzan is coming.
01:12:44Now, Muharram is coming.
01:12:46So, these things were very important.
01:12:47And the daughter-in-law also wants these things.
01:12:49Yes.
01:12:50And giving charity.
01:12:51Yes, giving charity.
01:12:52What to do.
01:12:53When to do charity.
01:12:54Yes, giving charity.
01:12:56Zakat is done for all these things.
01:12:58You give charity.
01:13:00Exactly.
01:13:00She puts bajra on the roof every day.
01:13:02She gets sacks of sacks every day.
01:13:05She never skips it.
01:13:07My husband is like that.
01:13:08He will put bajra on the roof.
01:13:11I also get it.
01:13:12You put bajra on the roof.
01:13:14It's a charity.
01:13:15You give charity in any form.
01:13:17Thank God, it's in our house too.
01:13:19Now, I am very happy to see that we have learned this from them.
01:13:23And my children too.
01:13:25They are very prompt about it.
01:13:27If it's Ramzan, then off and on.
01:13:29Sometimes, Noman will say,
01:13:30I am ordering dekh.
01:13:32Sometimes, Chhota Chhaigan will say,
01:13:34I have ordered dekh.
01:13:37So, I am very happy that we are leaving a legacy behind.
01:13:41And this is what we learn from our elders.
01:13:42Children don't learn from food.
01:13:44We learn from what we are doing.
01:13:45We learn from your actions.
01:13:46Taking the religious world with us.
01:13:48Yes, we are talking about the same topic.
01:13:50It was like this.
01:13:52When 12th Rabiul came,
01:13:54we had to celebrate it.
01:13:55It was a 12-day celebration.
01:13:57We had to study and everything.
01:13:59So, we had to celebrate
01:14:03all the big and small days.
01:14:07There was no break in it.
01:14:11I will give credit to my mother-in-law
01:14:14for taking us to Umrah.
01:14:16For giving us this passion.
01:14:18That we have to do Hajj.
01:14:19She put it in our hearts.
01:14:21She used to say that she wanted to go to Allah's house.
01:14:25You can lie to her that you are thinking about it.
01:14:28She will be after you for a whole year.
01:14:30She did Umrah and took all the kids separately.
01:14:34First, she took one kid and then us.
01:14:35I mean, she took us to Umrah.
01:14:39And then she put it in our hearts
01:14:41that we will do Hajj.
01:14:42She will do Hajj and we will do it.
01:14:45After she left, we did it.
01:14:47So, she planted a seed in our hearts.
01:14:51Basically, you get so busy in your work
01:14:55that you don't have anyone to take care of you.
01:14:59And we were blessed that she took our whole family to Umrah.
01:15:05So, that's it.
01:15:06And all the good deeds we did were rewarded to her.
01:15:10Giving food to our neighbours.
01:15:12That was the first thing a woman did.
01:15:14This is the same thing.
01:15:16She used to make something good.
01:15:20She used to make Kadhi and Haleem.
01:15:24So, she used to keep three or four of her neighbours
01:15:27in a tray and cover them.
01:15:30It used to look very nice.
01:15:32In the neighbourhood, the trays used to be full.
01:15:35The trays used to go inside the houses.
01:15:37She used to make Iftaars.
01:15:38She has to make Iftaars in Ramadan.
01:15:41She used to make 10 Iftaars in a day.
01:15:43She used to make 10 Iftaars in a day.
01:15:46Now, it has changed a lot.
01:15:47Now, there are no neighbours.
01:15:49And the distribution is completely over.
01:15:52In the beginning, she used to make 10 Iftaars in a day.
01:15:57I learnt this from my mother.
01:16:00We still have this method.
01:16:03My mother-in-law and my mother used to do it.
01:16:04But where is the neighbourhood now?
01:16:07No one lets us interfere.
01:16:09No one wants to talk to us.
01:16:12Even if we do it for the first time,
01:16:15we won't go to their house.
01:16:17Even if we do it for the first time,
01:16:19they won't let us do it.
01:16:22They won't let us do it.
01:16:25It varies from neighbourhood to neighbourhood.
01:16:27There are still a lot of such neighbourhoods.
01:16:29There will be, but the majority...
01:16:31There used to be a lot of such neighbourhoods.
01:16:34We have been seeing it since childhood.
01:16:35In the house where the elders live,
01:16:37this method is used.
01:16:39The elders make sure that
01:16:43the old people enjoy it.
01:16:45Thank you so much, all four of you.
01:16:47Thank you so much.
01:16:48Let's talk about your mother-in-law.
01:16:50And thank you for thinking of such a show.
01:16:53Such a positive show.
01:16:54Today, we have relived her good attributes.
01:16:59We also have a self-checking.
01:17:01Am I doing what I was taught?
01:17:04Am I doing it right?
01:17:05In the old memories.
01:17:06It was such a wonderful show.
01:17:08It's a good learning for us.
01:17:10We enjoyed it a lot.
01:17:11And a memory has been refreshed.
01:17:12Yes, exactly.
01:17:14A memory has been refreshed.
01:17:15Let's take a short break.
01:17:16We will continue after the break.
01:17:17Good morning, Pakistan.
01:17:29Welcome, welcome back.
01:17:31Good morning, Pakistan.
01:17:33And now I am going to introduce you
01:17:35to Mohammad Laman Samosa,
01:17:37who is from Wilam Perfume.
01:17:39Greetings.
01:17:40Greetings. How are you?
01:17:41How are you?
01:17:42I am fine.
01:17:42So, you are the owner of this company.
01:17:44Yes, I am.
01:17:46So, first of all, tell us about yourself.
01:17:48When did you start this brand?
01:17:51How did you start it?
01:17:52And then tell us about your brand.
01:17:54Yes, of course.
01:17:55So, basically, we started this brand
01:17:58less than a year ago.
01:17:59I guess, it's been eight months since we started it.
01:18:02But we are in the perfume industry
01:18:03since the past eight years.
01:18:04We have been selling original perfumes
01:18:06over the past eight years,
01:18:08which we are still selling.
01:18:10Okay.
01:18:10Our parent brand is called The Perfume Club.
01:18:12We have just launched its sister brand.
01:18:15So, the country is in a bit of a crunch right now.
01:18:17The economic situation is a bit tough.
01:18:20So, we are selling high-end perfumes right now as well.
01:18:24But we have launched impressions
01:18:26to target the masters.
01:18:28Oh, I see.
01:18:29So, if you have a famous perfume
01:18:32and we want an impression of it,
01:18:35you are right.
01:18:36Yes, exactly.
01:18:37We don't claim that we will make one-on-one perfumes.
01:18:40We won't even make one-on-one perfumes.
01:18:41Eventually, we will have our own creations.
01:18:44But for now, we have all the very popular perfumes.
01:18:49Our main aim right now is
01:18:51to launch different perfumes in the market
01:18:53because we are selling high-end perfumes
01:18:55at The Perfume Club, which is our parent brand.
01:18:56Okay.
01:18:57So, people don't know much about the perfumes
01:19:00of Lalabo or Frederic Malle.
01:19:02They don't even get them.
01:19:03Yes.
01:19:04So, basically, under this brand,
01:19:06we are providing the masters in the local market.
01:19:08So that they can try it and see what it is.
01:19:11Exactly.
01:19:11So, what will be the difference
01:19:16between the perfumes that are available in the market?
01:19:18There are two major differences which sets us apart.
01:19:21The biggest differentiation that we have
01:19:24is that our experience has been in the original perfumes
01:19:26since the last eight years.
01:19:27Yes.
01:19:28So, we have a huge ease in making and manufacturing perfumes.
01:19:32Yes.
01:19:33Secondly, we are focusing more on niche perfumes.
01:19:37Okay.
01:19:37Like Lalabo, Frederic Malle,
01:19:39and many other different brands around the world.
01:19:42We want to give their perfumes to the masters.
01:19:45People are more familiar with Gucci, Creed, and Chanel.
01:19:48We have them, but we are more focusing on niche,
01:19:51high-end perfumes.
01:19:52So that people get different perfumes.
01:19:54Yes.
01:19:54They are of this type.
01:19:55Thirdly…
01:19:56What are the perfumes that you have just launched?
01:19:58We have them.
01:19:58For example, if we talk about mask-pleasing perfumes,
01:20:01this is Fruit Punch.
01:20:02Fruit Punch is a bomb-shell perfume.
01:20:05And then we have Mystic Oud.
01:20:07This is one of our…
01:20:08It's a bomb-shell perfume.
01:20:10Exactly.
01:20:11And this is one of our highest-concentrated perfumes.
01:20:13Yes, exactly.
01:20:15Bomb-shell.
01:20:16Let's check this one.
01:20:17Victoria's Secret perfume.
01:20:18Exactly.
01:20:19This is Mystic Oud.
01:20:20Mystic Oud is from MFK.
01:20:22It's from Baccarat Rouge.
01:20:25I hope my designer doesn't see this.
01:20:27She'll say,
01:20:28you're putting perfume on my clothes.
01:20:30That's why I'm keeping it away.
01:20:31This is an Oud and Rose scent.
01:20:33Now, the masses don't even know about these combinations.
01:20:37Nor do they know about this brand.
01:20:38MFK, which is a parent brand.
01:20:40And when you put it on,
01:20:41no one else knows about it.
01:20:43Exactly.
01:20:44Isn't it?
01:20:44Exactly.
01:20:45Why spend so much money?
01:20:46Earn some money and keep it safe.
01:20:49And buy so many perfumes.
01:20:50Exactly.
01:20:51So, this is basically one of our aims.
01:20:53And Alhamdulillah,
01:20:54we have received a very good response from the brand.
01:20:57So, let's see.
01:20:58Now, since you're here,
01:20:59why don't I take advantage of you?
01:21:00Tell me,
01:21:01is there a tip to keep perfumes lasting for a long time?
01:21:06Look, I'll tell you a very good thing.
01:21:07The lasting of perfumes is very subjective.
01:21:10The lasting varies from skin to skin.
01:21:12I see.
01:21:13Because everyone has a different body temperature.
01:21:17So, obviously,
01:21:18let's say, some perfume will last for 8 hours on your skin.
01:21:21What does my skin know?
01:21:22It lasts for 6 hours.
01:21:23We mostly put perfume on our clothes.
01:21:25Exactly.
01:21:26So, what should we do?
01:21:27Exactly.
01:21:27When it's on clothes,
01:21:28we have increased the oil concentration of the perfume.
01:21:32I see.
01:21:33So, if you travel internationally,
01:21:35whenever you're on duty,
01:21:37whenever you try a perfume at a shop,
01:21:40you get a slightly oily feel.
01:21:42That is because
01:21:43the oil concentration is high
01:21:45because it's on your clothes.
01:21:47Okay.
01:21:48So, if we make a mistake,
01:21:49it will last on your clothes for more than 12 plus hours.
01:21:52I see.
01:21:52Why? Because the oil concentration is high.
01:21:54So, where should we apply more perfume?
01:21:56Should we apply it on the skin or on the clothes?
01:21:58Apply it on both places.
01:21:59For long-lasting.
01:22:00But there are pulse points.
01:22:01Like these pulse points.
01:22:03I see.
01:22:04Apply it here, on the neck, on the shoulders.
01:22:07These are pulse points.
01:22:08Then, obviously, you can apply it on your clothes too.
01:22:10But apply it on the pulse points
01:22:11so that this place...
01:22:12So, it stays on for longer.
01:22:13Exactly.
01:22:14Exactly.
01:22:15I see.
01:22:15If you move your hand,
01:22:16you will enjoy it anyway.
01:22:18Yes.
01:22:19Okay, tell me,
01:22:20if you want to buy Vellum Perfumes at an order place,
01:22:23how can it be an order place?
01:22:25Where can we get it from?
01:22:26We have a website.
01:22:27Okay.
01:22:28You can go there and do it.
01:22:30With free delivery.
01:22:30Is there a ban on the website?
01:22:32Yes, there is.
01:22:33I'm sure it's going on.
01:22:34And we have an Instagram page.
01:22:36We have a helpful customer support team there.
01:22:38They will help you.
01:22:39Other than that,
01:22:40it's a big problem for people
01:22:42that how can we do it without trying the perfumes.
01:22:44So, for that, we have made a studio type at ZamZam.
01:22:47I see.
01:22:47You can come there and try it.
01:22:49If you like the perfume, you purchase it.
01:22:50Okay.
01:22:51So, there is a place where you can try it.
01:22:55Absolutely.
01:22:55And if you want to buy it there, you can buy it.
01:22:57You can buy it there.
01:22:58Basically, all our operations are going on from there.
01:23:00But we have created a small studio over there.
01:23:02Okay, okay.
01:23:02If someone wants to come, they can come and try it.
01:23:04If you try it once,
01:23:06then you will get used to using the perfume.
01:23:08Exactly.
01:23:08Absolutely.
01:23:10Are there any discounts for our audience?
01:23:12We have made discounts for your audience.
01:23:15You will get and your audience will get 20% off
01:23:18on flat on our website.
01:23:20Okay.
01:23:20So, if there is any perfume, they will get 20% off.
01:23:23Excellent. Excellent.
01:23:24So, is there any message that you want to give
01:23:26from Vellam Perfumes?
01:23:29If we talk about the perfume industry,
01:23:31then it's growing in Pakistan very much.
01:23:33And the most interesting thing is that
01:23:35it comes in personal hygiene.
01:23:37And I like the fact that the helpers of our house,
01:23:42when I go out for them,
01:23:43I bring them perfumes as a gift.
01:23:44Exactly.
01:23:45So, they are getting the awareness that it's very important.
01:23:48Yes.
01:23:48There is a driver, he is applying the perfume.
01:23:50Exactly.
01:23:51So, they don't just have a mobile phone.
01:23:52Exactly.
01:23:53They don't just have a mobile phone.
01:23:54They have a personal hygiene perfumery.
01:23:56Exactly.
01:23:57So, there are a lot of brands.
01:23:58Everyone is doing their own thing.
01:23:59Everyone is taking their own risk.
01:24:00But do try us.
01:24:01We are a little different in the market.
01:24:03We are in the industry since the past 8 years.
01:24:04Original perfumes are very famous.
01:24:06So, tell us about the perfumes that you can see in front of you.
01:24:10You told us about two.
01:24:11Exactly.
01:24:12So, this is Mystic Oud.
01:24:14In this, you get MFK's Oud Straightened Mood Perfume.
01:24:18It's one of my personal favorite perfumes.
01:24:19It's a combination of Oud and Rose.
01:24:21You get that in this.
01:24:22Then, we have Garden Rush.
01:24:23Garden Rush is a floral scent.
01:24:26It's a very good floral scent.
01:24:28It's good for females who are going to the university.
01:24:32Fruit Punch at the same time is another energetic and youthful female's perfume.
01:24:36It's good for teenagers who are going to college, students and school.
01:24:40Then, we have Jirga.
01:24:41Jirga is launched only on my personal bias, to be very honest.
01:24:45This is a woody leather scent.
01:24:47The Spirit of Dubai is an Arabic house.
01:24:51It's a very niche house.
01:24:52It's called Medan.
01:24:53We took its inspiration and made this.
01:24:57It's a woody leather scent.
01:24:58It's perfect for winters.
01:24:59It's a scent for winters.
01:25:00Lastly, we have Prometo.
01:25:03Prometo is a Federic Mal's promise.
01:25:05It's a French niche house.
01:25:07It's a promise.
01:25:09So, this is for that.
01:25:09Other than this, we have around 35 different articles.
01:25:13We have a total of 35 websites.
01:25:14You can come to Zamzam, try it, test it and place an order.
01:25:19The website has been banned in front of you.
01:25:21So, these were Wilam Perfumes.
01:25:22Thank you so much.
01:25:23Thank you so much.
01:25:23Allah Hafiz.
01:25:24Thank you so much.
01:25:24So, this was our show for today.
01:25:25We hope that today's positivity will reach your homes as well.
01:25:29And your day will be very good.
01:25:30Good morning, Pakistan.
01:25:31Khuda Hafiz.