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00:00🎵
00:06🎵 CYCLOPUSSER! CYCLOPUSSER! 🎵
00:11🎵
00:19Hello.
00:25Lethal combo that, innit, eh?
00:27Sweaty, sexy and health-conscious.
00:31Oh, hold on.
00:32He's doing stretches now, look.
00:34Oh, can't seem to stop looking, short of jabbing my own eyes out.
00:38What are you two staring at?
00:39Aye.
00:40Just, er, wondering who that is.
00:42You know, in a community-minded, landlady kind of way.
00:47Oh, stopped outside Vicks.
00:49Oh, no!
00:51Eric said something about a random half-brother of hers
00:54turning up at a funeral yesterday.
00:56I bet that's him.
00:57Apparently they share the same dad.
00:59But he's Jack's son.
01:01No, that can't be right, can it?
01:02Well, it is.
01:03How do you know?
01:04What we all looking at?
01:06I met him yesterday. His van broke down.
01:08Met who?
01:09Who is that?
01:11Just some idiot.
01:12Aw, he's gone inside now.
01:16Full disclosure, now.
01:19What do you want me to say? There's nothing to tell.
01:21Well, he's Annie and Robert's half-brother. It's kind of a big deal, love.
01:24Hey, Sarah, do you know anything about this?
01:26What?
01:27Some secret half-brother of your dad's turning up.
01:30What?
01:36Hey.
01:37Nothing all right?
01:38No.
01:39Can't find the cattle passport for the auction.
01:41It was here the other day. Somebody must have moved it.
01:43Well, I had a bit of a tidy round earlier.
01:46Been here somewhere.
01:47What did you do that for?
01:48Well, because the place needs it, all right?
01:50Meaning what exactly?
01:51Meaning nothing.
01:54Didn't the auction at ten?
01:55Yep.
02:00Anything I can do to help?
02:02No.
02:03Actually, you could move the rest of the herd down to the bottom field.
02:06Hey, I thought you needed that field for the new cattle,
02:10because I've just moved them out of it.
02:11Right, so basically you're just going around making extra work for me.
02:14I was just trying to help, all right?
02:16That's why I took the boys to holiday camp,
02:18and then I was maybe going to do some of your deliveries,
02:20but I'm not bothered next time, eh?
02:21Well, thank goodness for that.
02:23Right, I've got to go.
02:25See you later. Take care. Bye.
02:29You slept with him? Robert's brother?
02:32I didn't know that at the time, did I?
02:34I'm not a complete idiot.
02:35This is what I hate about you and your hook-ups.
02:38He could have been anyone.
02:40Well, anyone would have been better than this, wouldn't it?
02:43Of all the messed up bad luck.
02:45Well, it's not ideal. Agreed.
02:48And what if he says something to Vic? Tells her about us?
02:51Only you and him aren't an us, though, are you?
02:55I mean, you didn't even know his name at the time.
02:57Right, if this is going to turn into some sort of lecture...
02:59It's not.
03:01I mean, it's not what people normally do, is it?
03:04Broadcast their sex lives to virtual strangers like Vic?
03:07Normal people know, but the guy's obviously a bit of a weirdo.
03:11He wouldn't have drove off and left me.
03:13I think you're worrying too much.
03:15It's not just that, Mum.
03:18You brought everything back.
03:21About Robert, you know.
03:24I can't go back there again.
03:32How was your run?
03:34Fine.
03:35Ah, so you didn't get lost on the route I suggested.
03:37Got back, didn't I?
03:39I'll stick the kettle on, then. I can make you some toast if you want.
03:42Not for me, Ta. I'm ready for the off.
03:44But I thought the garage said it'd take a few days to fix your van.
03:47I can't wait that long. Besides, they're fitting a radiator, not a new engine.
03:50I don't know why they're making such a meal of it.
03:52You sound like my dad.
03:54He was no nonsense, didn't suffer fools.
03:56I thought we weren't doing this.
03:58Yeah, sorry.
03:59It's just hard when you remind me of him so much.
04:01This is why I didn't want to stay here.
04:04OK, I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again.
04:06Makes no odds now. I'm going.
04:11Vic?
04:12Chas said something about a half-brother of yours turning up.
04:16Hey, you must be John.
04:18I'm Sarah, Andy's daughter.
04:20Andy. That's the adopted one, right?
04:23We haven't talked much about stuff.
04:25It's not that straightforward, Sarah.
04:27Well, why isn't it?
04:28Come on, I've got loads of questions.
04:34Flipping it, Chas.
04:36What's up with you?
04:37No one told me.
04:38What are you looking at?
04:40Pack it in, you see.
04:41Oh, now I really want to know. Let's see.
04:44I'm just making a profile for me.
04:46It's in Dompage.
04:48You what, Dompage?
04:50It's short for Financial Domination.
04:52Look, I thought it might help with my cash flow thing.
04:56OK, this is bonkers.
04:59You think it's a bit OTT?
05:01You see, there's a fine line between, like, you know, bossy and crazy lady.
05:05The whole flipping idea is crazy. You can't do it.
05:08Why can't I?
05:09Oh, what, take money off books,
05:11you get the kicks from being told off, then ripped off.
05:14Hardly a strong lifestyle choice, is it?
05:16This is just a way of getting fast cash into Mardy Mandy's bossy bank.
05:19Please tell me you're not using your real name.
05:21No, obviously.
05:23But you're going to have to put a picture on there.
05:25Oh, yeah, I know that.
05:27Actually, I need your opinion on that.
05:30Why are you doing that gurning face?
05:32You look like Miss Trenchbolt.
05:33That's my no-messing face.
05:35Well, you can't use it. People will recognise you.
05:37So what am I meant to do?
05:39Forget the whole thing.
05:41Look, people you meet on there, they will not be nice.
05:46Trust someone who's done stuff for money they're not proud of.
05:50But that's why it's great, cos it's online, it's safe.
05:53Yeah, but things can snowball.
05:55Before you know it, you're agreeing to stuff you're not comfortable with.
05:59Listen, look what happened to Emelia.
06:01She wasn't even doing anything dodgy.
06:04I hear you, right, and I will be careful,
06:07but this seems like a win-win.
06:09You know, I'm a bossy cow for free.
06:11Why not earn from it?
06:13I'm sorry, I don't like it.
06:15But if I can't stop you, then please just...
06:19Don't tell me any more,
06:21cos I'll only worry about what could go wrong.
06:27So you always knew Jack was your dad,
06:29but you never spoke about getting in touch with him?
06:31That's her asking, so you can't have a go at me?
06:33Never wanted to.
06:36Look, Mum said she wrote to him when I was little.
06:40Sent a picture of me, explained everything.
06:44He never replied.
06:45But you never mentioned a letter yesterday.
06:48It was my mum's funeral, what's it matter anyway?
06:50Maybe he never got the letter.
06:53More of a romantic way to look at it, isn't it?
06:55Shame I'm a realist.
06:56Apart from the fact that you didn't know him.
06:58You would have never ignored something that important.
07:01Yeah, what if Vic's right?
07:02You genuinely didn't know that you existed.
07:04That'd be so sad.
07:05Actually, it wouldn't have made a fat lot of difference.
07:08I had an old man who gave her stuff about me,
07:10and my life has been fine.
07:11I'm not a victim here.
07:13No-one's saying that you are.
07:15Then why are you looking at me like some object of pity?
07:19Sorry, but I'm done here.
07:31Is that your wedding speech?
07:33No, it's stuffed in a drawer at home.
07:35Hopefully when I get back it might be a little bit funnier.
07:39No, I'm just making a list of stuff for Italy.
07:42I went through my wardrobe and it's not quite cutting it.
07:45Says who? Mandy?
07:46No, me actually.
07:47Just thought I might get myself a linen shirt,
07:49some floppy trousers, a pair of sandals.
07:51Go a bit more stylish.
07:53Blimey, wow.
07:54Well, in that case, you might not want this tacky load of stuff.
07:58What's that?
07:59Well, you know, it's just a pre-wedding present for you and Mandy.
08:04Isn't her slippers?
08:07Bride and groom.
08:09Rubber ducks?
08:10They were only meant to be daft. I thought they'd make you smile.
08:12Did you?
08:13Yeah. Anyway, they were cluttering up the back of the wardrobe,
08:15so seeing as you two are getting wed, I thought I'd dig them out.
08:21Chas.
08:23Somebody buy them for us?
08:26So what if they did, all right? They haven't been used.
08:29Mandy loves a bit of kitsch, doesn't she?
08:32Main thing is, is that we're giving with good intention.
08:35I hope you two will be really happy.
08:37Yeah, you know, matching slippers and our tacky little bath toys.
08:40Exactly.
08:43I know it took me a while to get my head around you two.
08:46Stopped myself from being jealous about Eve having a step-mum.
08:49But I have done.
08:50And I'm really sorry I gave Mandy such a hard time.
08:53She don't deserve it.
08:54Appreciate you saying that.
08:56Everyone can see she'd do anything for you.
08:59She's a good one, Paddy.
09:01She is.
09:02And we're happy.
09:04Which is pretty amazing second time round, after 25 years.
09:09Ah, there I go, being jealous again.
09:13Look, just don't let anybody ruin what you've got.
09:16I won't.
09:17Thanks, Chas.
09:20Oh, Trace, sorry for keeping you waiting. What can I get you?
09:23Erm...
09:25Just a white wine, please.
09:27Thanks, Chas.
09:32Hey.
09:33What you up to?
09:36What you staring at?
09:38That numpty.
09:40Right, erm, anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if we upset you earlier.
09:44You didn't.
09:45I'd have to care for that weapon.
09:48And you don't, right?
09:50You're all strangers to me.
09:52We're not even related, right? Your dad was adopted.
09:56I see. Thanks for that.
09:59You all right, Sarah?
10:01Sarah!
10:05What have you said to her?
10:06You know, you're fast becoming a nag.
10:08Is that right, is it?
10:10What is your game?
10:12Did you know who I was when you first asked to meet me?
10:15Did you know you used to be with some random I've never met but happen to share genes with?
10:20No, oddly.
10:22Here's one for you, though.
10:24Anyone ever told you you were insanely paranoid?
10:27And a bit of a whiner?
10:30Say that again.
10:37Which bit?
10:39That you're paranoid or a whiner?
10:42What is your problem?
10:44You lot.
10:46I don't need any of you, only no one's getting the message.
10:51Especially you.
10:59Oi!
11:01What's going on?
11:02Nothing. Just having a little chat.
11:07Somebody's teaching him a lesson.
11:09Just leave it.
11:12He'll have my van fixed by tomorrow.
11:15Can give it a wash, too, yeah?
11:18He's a good lad.
11:20You all right?
11:40You all right? Is Aaron about?
11:42No.
11:43Can you tell him I popped in? Just wanted a word.
11:45Not his secretary.
11:47Nice one, Jimmy. Thanks for your help.
11:49I'm trying to work something out with the figures.
11:51I can't make a man up.
11:53We lost a big client yesterday.
11:55Oh, yeah? I'm sorry to hear that.
12:00Are you for me or holy scrap?
12:02I'm sorry?
12:04Holy, I, er...
12:06I seem to be wearing both hats today.
12:08Arthur Blakefield, traffic examiner for the Vehicle Compliance Agency.
12:12I'm here regarding home James Haulage and a tachograph check.
12:17Yeah, we had one of them not long back.
12:19I didn't think we'd do another for ages.
12:21We do unscheduled checks from time to time.
12:23A lot of the vehicles are out on jobs today.
12:26It's probably best you come back another time.
12:28I wouldn't want to waste your time.
12:30Kind of ruins the element of spontaneity, don't you think?
12:34If we start with the trucks parked up in the lane...
12:37I'll leave you to it, Jimmy.
12:40Right, I'll, er...
12:42get the keys.
12:48Oh, now what?
12:52Paddy was talking to Chas about you in the pub earlier.
12:55Oh? What were they saying?
12:58Just how happy you both are.
13:01Look, are you sure you can't come clean
13:03and ditch this whole online thing?
13:06Yes, I'm sure. I'm not asking Paddy to rescue me, Trace.
13:10Dingle, I stand on my own two feet.
13:13OK, so if Paddy came to you,
13:16with money problems, that would...
13:18change the way you feel about him, would it?
13:20No, but if I go begging to Paddy,
13:22then, yeah, it'd change how I feel about me.
13:24Especially when the solution is staring me right in the face.
13:27Oh, OK, fine, I give up. It's your call.
13:30But if you are going to do this, you need to be savvy about it.
13:33Take down that photo and wear something that masks your identity.
13:36What, shall I put some tights over me? I'd like a bank robber.
13:39You stay smart.
13:41I'll stay if he kicks.
13:43Thanks, Mum.
13:45All right.
13:47I need to upload this new profile pic before I go live.
13:55Are you done, then? Afraid so.
13:57And? You've exceeded your legal driving limits.
14:00Are you sure? I don't guess the figures, Mr King.
14:03I've checked all the readings twice.
14:05Right, only I can't really see how that's happened.
14:08You've 28 days to pay the fine.
14:11And if I want to appeal,
14:13if there's been an admin mistake or a rotor error?
14:16It tells you how to appeal on the back.
14:18But it won't make any difference.
14:20The rules are clear, the figures are there in black and white.
14:27To be honest, I've been struggling lately.
14:30Like a lot of small businesses,
14:33I can't afford a hefty fine like this.
14:36Should have thought about that before you brought the law.
14:39Bye, then.
14:45Oh, no.
14:47No, that's too capricious.
14:49Oh.
14:51No, don't be stupid, Amanda, you can't put tights round your head.
14:54Oh, maybe, yeah.
14:56Maybe.
14:58Oh, yeah.
15:02Oh, yeah. I guess it'll do.
15:04Yeah.
15:06Yeah.
15:14Uploaded.
15:18Oh! Hiya!
15:22This is soon to be Dingle Dingle.
15:25I pass.
15:27What are you doing? Nothing.
15:29Dressing up? No.
15:31So, sorry, what were you on about there, about the Dingle Dingle?
15:34Oh, yeah, yeah, so I was just thinking,
15:36because we're both Dingles already,
15:38that we could double-barrel it
15:40and take each other's names
15:42and then you don't miss out on getting a new one.
15:44I don't want to be Dingle Dingle. Sounds like a phone ringing.
15:47Fair point. Good job I'm joking, then, innit?
15:50So, what are you doing? Nothing.
15:53Oh, this? No, I'm just having a nosy at some hen party props
15:56that Leila was chucking, you know, to see if there's anything decent.
15:59You big kid.
16:01Is this just some daft wedding gift?
16:04That's nice of her.
16:08You don't know what's in there yet?
16:10I'll take a look later, yeah.
16:12Oh, that's why you've popped back.
16:14Yeah, well, that and just to see what you were up to.
16:18I had a client cancel and, erm...
16:20..got a spare half an hour.
16:22Oh, I'd love to, but I'm due back at the salon any sec, you know.
16:26Can't be turning customers away when there's a wedding to pay for.
16:29Yeah, of course. Silly idea, really.
16:32Right, I'll leave you to it.
16:34Oh, thank you, Pads.
16:38I love you. I love you too!
16:44Oh, my God.
16:47Right.
16:50Here goes. Right.
16:52It's for real. Yeah.
16:54Yeah, it's for real now.
16:56Phew!
16:58Mm-hm.
17:00Here goes.
17:02Madame Diamante Dales.
17:11Four footballs.
17:13We're not even halfway through the holidays.
17:15Eh?
17:17That's how many the boys have gone through.
17:20Chip got her teeth into this one.
17:22I'm trying to fix it, but it's out of it.
17:25Something up?
17:28We've had a visit at the yard.
17:31A tachograph inspection.
17:33And?
17:35Oh, tell me you won't over your hours.
17:43I've been trying to squeeze in a few extra runs.
17:46Try to make the books look a bit healthier.
17:49Yeah? They're not going to look very healthy
17:51after you've paid this, are they?
17:53If we can pay it at all now that we've lost Gorman's.
17:56Why would you even take a risk like that?
17:58I didn't think it was a risk.
18:00I was going to alter the figures before our next routine inspection.
18:03And then this examiner turns up out of the blue.
18:07Oh, God.
18:11The truth is...
18:15..when I'm behind the wheel...
18:18..it stops me thinking about Angel.
18:21I thought I was killing two birds.
18:23More like killing any chance of our business staying afloat.
18:27We rely on that extra income from the haulage, Jimmy.
18:31We're stuffed without it.
18:33It's hot.
18:49Did you get a result?
18:51No, sir.
18:52We agreed 500, right? Yeah.
18:54I only had a chat with an ex-colleague of mine.
18:58I think I might have been underselling my services.
19:01Sorry?
19:02You got me for a steal, basically.
19:04Well, you've not really had to do anything.
19:06And?
19:08So, what, you want to hike up the price?
19:11I think it's worth a grand, yeah.
19:14All right, I tell you what, I'm not going to give you any money.
19:17I don't like people being greedy, moving the goalposts.
19:20That's not how I do business.
19:22You can't do that. Of course I can.
19:24What are you going to do? Tell your boss?
19:27He'll get sacked if they know you've bent.
19:33It's all right?
19:35Yeah, better than that.
19:38We've got a great price for the herd.
19:42Aw.
19:43Look at you, cracking on with the boys' tea.
19:47I don't reckon there's many blokes as useful and as sexy as you are.
19:56I'm sorry.
19:58It's all right.
20:01Sorry, have I missed something?
20:03Well, I don't follow.
20:05Well, you were in a funny mood earlier. You had a right go at me.
20:07Was I?
20:08Was I? You couldn't do right for doing wrong.
20:10Well, I'm fine now.
20:12Unless you'd rather have an argument, obviously.
20:15Well, why would I want to do that?
20:17Good. I'll just go and grab a shower and get ready for dinner.
20:25You know, what's up with you wouldn't go amiss, though.
20:29Yeah, there's something seriously off with him, you know.
20:33Really? I hadn't noticed.
20:41I mean, what gives him the right to just throw his weight around?
20:43I mean, that's twice he's nearly gone for you.
20:45Let's just talk about something else.
20:47No, I mean, there must be more to it.
20:49Like, he is hellbent on winding you up.
20:52Well, you've met him.
20:54He doesn't seem to give a toss about anything.
20:57No, not yet, anyway.
20:59Meaning?
21:02Meaning...
21:04I think that it's time that you and I joined forces again.
21:09Like that smug grin off his face, properly teaching my lesson.
21:12What do you say?
21:14Do you really have to ask that?
21:17That's why I love you.
21:26Pull neck.