Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00C.A. Swanson and Sons of Omaha, Nebraska, packers of America's best-known brand of canned and frozen poultry,
00:16presents the exciting television game, The Names the Same.
00:19And now, let's meet our panel of famous names. Co-author of the Broadway hit, Guys and Dolls, Abe Burroughs.
00:36Famous radio and television actress, Joan Alexander.
00:43Famous radio and television personality and master of ceremonies of his own quiz show, Winner Take All, Bill Cullen.
00:49And your host and moderator, another famous name, Robert Q. Lewis.
00:59Hi there, and welcome to The Names the Same.
01:02Tonight, once again, you're going to meet some people who have very famous names.
01:06Names the same as famous celebrities, well-known places, and things that we all know.
01:10And tonight, as always, it's up to our trio of experts to figure out those famous names by a process of cross-examination.
01:16Start things off, let's meet our first guest with a famous name.
01:27How do you do, my dear? I ask where you're from.
01:29New York.
01:29New York City, and what do you do?
01:32I'm a cashier.
01:33A cashier?
01:34Good, well, we're glad to work. Do you have any loot with you?
01:36No.
01:36Not at all.
01:37All right, if you don't mind, I'm going to refer to you now as Miss X, just so we don't give away your name by accident.
01:41And let's let our home audience see this lady's famous name.
01:50All right, panel, it's up to you to cross-examine Miss X to see if you can determine her famous name.
01:54You're competing with one another to see who guesses her famous name first.
01:58The losers pay.
01:59You have ten questions apiece, and if you use up your questions, you lose, and you must pay our contestant your check for $25.
02:05Miss X, you will answer yes or no, and answer as if you were the famous person whose name you bear.
02:11All right?
02:11Yeah.
02:12All right, let's start off with Bill Cullen.
02:13Bill?
02:14All right, are you a performer in show business, Miss X?
02:18Yes.
02:19Are you a unique performer?
02:23Well, Bill, almost every performer is unique.
02:27What do you mean by unique?
02:28Well, is there anything outstanding about her at all?
02:33Say there was?
02:34Yes.
02:35Yes.
02:35Yes, I'd say there was something outstanding.
02:37Uh, do you perform, uh, do you possibly perform on television?
02:42No.
02:44Have you been on the stage or in the movies?
02:46Yes.
02:47Yes.
02:47Mm-hmm.
02:48Would, uh, I, for instance, be likely to be a fan of yours?
02:54Yes.
02:55Knowing Bill, I think so.
02:57Yes.
02:59Well, uh, are you famous for more than just one thing?
03:02No, I, I would say one thing was about what this lady was famous for, one particular thing.
03:11Well, I think I better pass here to Abe Burroughs.
03:13Abe?
03:15Are you what is known as a dish?
03:21No, I thought, do you know what he means when he says dish?
03:23Yeah.
03:23I mean a dish, you know?
03:24Yeah.
03:25I think so, Abe.
03:26I think so, Abe.
03:26A real dish.
03:28Are you a young dish?
03:30Oh, now you're going to be real embarrassing, you know.
03:33Uh, well, young.
03:34Why, young, you know, young.
03:36Well, you mean young or young?
03:38I mean, young.
03:41Well, I'll let you answer that.
03:42I mean, not, you know, let's divide up the dishes.
03:46There's young, there's young.
03:49This is a main course, all right?
03:52Well, there's very young, you know.
03:55Yeah.
03:55You know, young.
03:56Marilyn Monroe is very young, you know?
03:59Uh-huh.
03:59What's Charlie Temple?
04:02Then there's middle-aged dish, and then there's cockeyed liars.
04:07Well, let's say, Abe, I guess we'll have to say a sort of non-appearing middle-aged dish.
04:17Well, what, non-what?
04:18Non-appearing.
04:19Appearing?
04:20A middle-aged dish, it don't look like a middle-aged dish.
04:22How's that?
04:22Uh-huh.
04:23I get it.
04:25All right.
04:25I am, too.
04:26Are you a leading lady in pictures?
04:30No.
04:31No.
04:31No.
04:32No.
04:33Do you play character parts?
04:34Yes.
04:38Well, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, I suppose.
04:42Nah, nah, why are you such a...
04:44You act like I'm a dentist.
04:47Uh, are you a woman, by the way?
04:49Yes.
04:50All right.
04:51Do you play comedy parts?
04:54No.
04:56He doesn't seem to agree with you.
04:57That's all right.
04:57That's fine.
04:58I, this lady is fine.
04:59I'll pass.
05:00That's, I was hoping.
05:01Joan, go ahead.
05:02Have you ever been in vaudeville?
05:05Yes.
05:05Have you done a single?
05:07Yes.
05:08Uh, do you use anything with your act?
05:12Yes.
05:13Uh, is this something that you use, an inanimate object?
05:19Or objects?
05:21Yes.
05:22Are you a blonde?
05:24Yes.
05:25Did you appear at the Chicago World's Fair?
05:28Yes.
05:29And you're right, Bill Cullen sure would be one of your fans.
05:35Are you Sally Rand?
05:37That's right.
05:37Very good.
05:47And, of course, she's not really a middle-aged dish at all.
05:50She's just a dish, Abe.
05:51A real dish.
05:53It really is a dish.
05:53Miss Rand, thank you very much.
05:55Joanie, you've won.
05:56So Abe, Bill, write out your checks for $25.
05:58Miss Rand, I'll ask you to go over there to pick them up.
06:00And thank you so much from the Swanson people for playing the names this day.
06:03Nice to see you, aren't you?
06:06Good boy.
06:09All right, let's meet our next guest with a famous name.
06:16All right, Sam, may I ask where you hail from?
06:26Middletown, Connecticut.
06:27Middletown, Connecticut.
06:28All right.
06:29And what do you do?
06:31Hi, I'm a laboratory technician at Hamilton Standard.
06:34That's a division of United Aircraft.
06:36Fine.
06:36You've got all the plugs in.
06:38All right.
06:39Well, we know you've got a famous name.
06:40We're all anxious to take a look at it.
06:42Let's let our home audience see this gentleman's famous name.
06:44All right, panel, once again, you've got a problem.
06:51This is the gentleman's name.
06:52You remember how we play our game.
06:54You each have ten questions.
06:55Mr. X, you'll answer yes or no as if you were the person whose name you bear.
06:59If your panelists run out of questions, you lose, and you pay Mr. X your check for $25.
07:04Abe, will you start this round?
07:06I was curious about the laugh when people saw your name.
07:10This name is evidently an unusual name for a fellow to have.
07:13Now, the laugh you get when you tell people that that's your name, you know, you're a laboratory technician, worked with dignified scientists, I assume.
07:21The laugh you get, is it a laugh of honest humor or is it a hooooh like that?
07:27Is it a...
07:28I'd say honest humor.
07:31Real honest humor.
07:31Real honest humor.
07:32Right.
07:33Uh, are you a human being?
07:36Uh, no.
07:40Or am I?
07:41Uh.
07:45The man is a laboratory technician.
07:47You should explain to him what's a human being.
07:51Go on, Abe.
07:52Is he a human being?
07:53You got your answer.
07:54No, I didn't.
07:55I didn't hear an answer.
07:56He kind of hesitated and looked at you, Bob.
07:59I said, I said, no.
08:01I thought maybe I would be contradicted.
08:02No, you're not a human being.
08:03You see, there's an element of doubt.
08:06You see, if a guy is not a human being, he may be a human being.
08:09This could be a radio announcer for real.
08:11Uh, you're not a human being.
08:16Are you, uh, uh, uh, uh, an animate object?
08:22No.
08:22Are you animate?
08:23Life.
08:23Do you have life?
08:24Are you a...
08:25No.
08:27No life?
08:30We're getting into a very, we're getting into a very dangerous situation here, Abe.
08:33Well, watch, I'll ask him one question, clear the whole thing up.
08:36Are you fictional character?
08:38Yes.
08:41As a fictional character, are you a human being?
08:44Yes.
08:47Have you worried for a while there, Dr. Burroughs?
08:48I pass.
08:49I, I've got a husband my question.
08:51Husband, that's a husband.
08:52I've got a husband my question.
08:53Are you, are you a man as a fictional character?
08:57Yes, I am.
08:58Are you the hero of, uh, of a book or a play or something?
09:03No, I am not.
09:04You are not?
09:05No.
09:05Are you a character in a comic strip?
09:09Yes.
09:10You are?
09:11This kills me.
09:12I never know anything.
09:13Oh, but you always guess them.
09:14No, I just.
09:16Always, I never know anything.
09:18So why do I spend all the money?
09:19You are, you are a character in a comic strip.
09:23Oh, golly.
09:25Is this an old, established comic strip?
09:28I would, yes.
09:28Yes, very definitely.
09:29It is.
09:30Uh, are you an attractive character in this comic strip?
09:34No, I, I would say not.
09:36Well, no, I guess not in a sense.
09:38Not attractive to you particularly, Joan.
09:40Are you the leading character in the comic strip?
09:42Is the comic strip named after you?
09:44No, it is.
09:46Are you in the news?
09:47Daily news?
09:49No.
09:50Journal?
09:51Nope.
09:52You can go through the rest of the paper.
09:54You have only two points, Bill.
09:56Are you in the mirror?
09:59Yes.
09:59Yes.
10:00That's good, because only the one other paper.
10:01Um, you're not the hero in it.
10:04Are you, are you a, a villain by any chance?
10:07No.
10:08Are you a support to the hero?
10:10Uh, yes.
10:13Everybody laughed.
10:14I'm trying to think.
10:15Uh, are you by any chance, uh, Mickey Finn's Uncle Phil?
10:20No.
10:21Or any chance, Phil Finn's Uncle Mickey?
10:25No.
10:26The fella that, that you were with in the comic strip,
10:29is he a, uh, a very athletic fellow
10:31with freckles on his shoulders?
10:33With freckles on his shoulders?
10:35Yeah, because he's always running around
10:37in his under drawers, the fella I'm thinking of.
10:40I, I assume so.
10:41I've never looked.
10:42Very high shoulders.
10:42All right.
10:43Is the fella that you're, you're in the comic strip with,
10:45is he Joe Palooka by any chance?
10:47Yes.
10:47Oh, I thought he was Joe Palooka.
10:48Oh, the name.
10:49Uh, are you, uh, uh, uh, Nobby Walsh?
10:52Nobby Walsh.
10:53Oh, yeah.
10:54Very good.
10:59Very good, freckles.
11:02All right, Mr. Walsh, we thank you very much.
11:04Joan, Abe, write out your checks for $25.
11:06Mr. Walsh, we'll ask you to go over there to pick them up,
11:08and thanks so much from the Swanson people
11:10for playing the names of the same.
11:12Freckles on his shoulders in New York.
11:25And now we come to the I'd Like to Be portion of our program,
11:28and here to play I'd Like to Be with us
11:30is the well-known actor of stage and screen,
11:33currently on Broadway in the four-poster,
11:35Mr. Burgess Meredith.
11:42Well, welcome to The Name's the Same.
11:48Mr. Meredith has to run from here over to the theater
11:50to entertain another wonderful house,
11:53packed house, I understand, and the four-poster.
11:56Yeah, I don't want to be late even for you.
11:57All right.
11:58Well, we'd like our panel to go to work on you, Mr. Meredith.
12:00Naturally, they can't guess your name
12:02since we all know who you are.
12:03Very good, aren't they?
12:04I just want to...
12:05They have been tonight.
12:06Yes, they have.
12:06They won't be on this.
12:08All right, good.
12:08Before the show started, Burgess Meredith told us
12:11who he might like to be, just in fun, of course,
12:13if he weren't himself.
12:13And panel, we'll see if you can determine
12:15who that person is in just a chicken.
12:16All right, now we're set to play I'd Like to Be.
12:18Our panel is going to try to determine
12:20who it is Buzz Meredith would like to be
12:22if he were not himself.
12:23Let's let our home audience see that famous name.
12:28I think it's a darn good one.
12:30All right, panel, we played the same as before,
12:32and the loser's checks will go to
12:34Burgess Meredith's favorite charity.
12:35Let's start this round with Bill Cullen.
12:38Burgess, from the looks of the coat at the beginning,
12:40I know that's part of your costume in a four-poster,
12:42but I was wondering, with a coat,
12:43if you wanted to be the manager
12:44of the Forest Lawn Cemetery.
12:47Burgess, the person you want to be,
12:49is it a living person?
12:50It is.
12:52Is that person in show business?
12:56No.
12:57Is the person in the field of politics?
13:02Yes.
13:02Well, in a vague sense.
13:05Most politicians are pretty vague.
13:06Yeah.
13:09Is the person,
13:11Bob said in a vague sense,
13:12so I'm going to assume.
13:13All right, I'll ask the question.
13:14Well, it's more honest to say yes than not.
13:17I want to be honest with you.
13:19Are you accusing our emcee of being dishonest?
13:24He is dishonest.
13:26Rumble Q dishonest.
13:27This person that you'd like to be,
13:29yeah, this person that you'd like to be, Burgess,
13:31were they elected to the position they now hold?
13:34No.
13:34Were they appointed to that position?
13:37No.
13:37Did they reach that position by divine right?
13:40Yes.
13:41Oui.
13:42Four questions.
13:43Is that person in one of the romance countries?
13:47I assume they're not in America if it's divine right.
13:49No, not in one of the romance.
13:51Is it in England by any chance?
13:52Yes, it's in England.
13:54Couldn't want to be Princess Elizabeth.
13:56I don't know why not.
13:57I'd like to be Princess Elizabeth.
13:58Who in England would he like to be?
13:59I'm going to pass Dave Burroughs
14:00because I can't think of an Englishman.
14:01Well, it's in England, and we dismiss Princess Elizabeth.
14:05Is this person you want to be,
14:07when you said politics vaguely,
14:08I assume I said by divine right, that means royalty.
14:12So you want to be somebody in the royal family.
14:14Is this somebody you want to be?
14:16Is that a question?
14:17Well, no.
14:21Abe, this is one of Abe's favorite habits.
14:23It's shaking.
14:24I'm just confused by that crazy coat man.
14:27This is recapitulation.
14:28So you said divine right, that means royalty.
14:31So you want to be a member of the British royal family.
14:33Now, is this member of the British royal family
14:35you want to be older than you?
14:38No.
14:41Now, let me see.
14:42Is he younger than you?
14:43It is a man.
14:44It is a man.
14:46Yes, it's a man.
14:47Is he younger than you?
14:48Uh, yes.
14:49Yes.
14:50A British royal family.
14:54Now, let's dig this.
14:54Younger than you.
14:55I know the members of the royal family.
14:56They're almost all older than you.
14:57Wait, wait.
14:58There's only one.
14:59Thanks.
14:59Wait, wait.
15:00Now, Princess Elizabeth has a son.
15:05Queen Elizabeth.
15:06She is now.
15:07Queen Elizabeth.
15:09She got there in a hurry, but I'm glad she made it tonight.
15:12I would like to apologize to the entire British Empire.
15:15I was a little bit worried.
15:16Bill Cohen just says, royal family, I should say John Reed King.
15:19But, all right.
15:20She has a son.
15:22Would you want to, what's his name?
15:24He has no hair.
15:27This is Abe's specialty.
15:29Anyone without hair, he knows.
15:30He's a prince.
15:31Prince Charles.
15:32Do you want to be Prince Charles?
15:34Yes.
15:34That's right.
15:35Very good.
15:35Funny Prince Charles.
15:40All right.
15:43There we go.
15:44You're on the flip.
15:45Yes.
15:46All right.
15:47John, Bill, write out your checks for $25.
15:49Mr. Meredith will ask you to go over there to pick them up, and thanks a million from the
15:52Swans and Beavers for playing.
15:53All right.
15:53The name's the same.
15:54You're on the stage.
16:09All right.
16:10Now, let's meet our next guest with a famous name.
16:14How are you, sir?
16:15All right.
16:20Please don't tell me your name.
16:21Tell us, please, where you're from.
16:23I come from Quincy, Massachusetts.
16:24Quincy.
16:25Very good.
16:25And what do you do up there, sir?
16:27I work in the wool business.
16:29In the wool business.
16:29All right.
16:30Before we play our game, let's let our home audience see this gentleman's famous name.
16:39All right.
16:39Now, you remember how we play our game, panel, and Mr. X.
16:42I think you, by now, know our rules.
16:44Let me tell you, panel, that Mr. X's name represents an action.
16:49An action.
16:50Now, with that piece of help, let's start off with Joan Alexander.
16:55Help.
16:57Uh.
16:58Uh.
16:58That was the darndest I've ever seen.
17:06Wasn't it?
17:07You think I was going to come up with something?
17:08Go ahead.
17:08But I'm not.
17:09Go ahead.
17:09Do I know how to do this action?
17:13Um, yes.
17:15Could I make a living doing this?
17:18Uh, no.
17:19I doubt that very much, Joan.
17:21Well, uh, in that case, would you say that I could do it for, for fun and relaxation?
17:28I would say very definitely, yes.
17:31Yes.
17:31Mm-hmm.
17:33Um.
17:36Don't look at me.
17:38Do I, do you move around when you do this?
17:43Yes.
17:43Yes, uh-huh.
17:44Is it done to music?
17:50Very definitely.
17:51Yes, it, yes.
17:51Uh, it can be.
17:52Uh-huh.
17:53It is done to music?
17:53Yes, yes.
17:54Mm-hmm.
17:54Would it be done in a, in a fancy place like, for instance, the Waldorf Astoria?
18:01Yes.
18:01Very comfortably, yes.
18:03Uh-huh.
18:06Well, uh, on a Saturday night, for instance, uh.
18:11Yes.
18:12Yes.
18:13Yes, on a Saturday night?
18:14Oh, yes.
18:15Oh, yes.
18:15Oh, yes.
18:15What was I going to say?
18:17I said, on a Saturday night, for instance.
18:19And he said, yes.
18:20Could you do this, uh, action?
18:21Oh, I, well, I meant, would you find people all over the country doing it on a Saturday night?
18:27Yes, it's quite a, quite a, it's one of those customs.
18:34Well, if I, it's what I'm thinking, if Abe and I were to go out for an evening to do this.
18:44Yes, if Abe and you were to go out.
18:50Is that so hysterical?
18:51I think they would go.
18:53Don't be upset.
18:54I think they were just laughing at the thought of you and me going out.
18:57If Abe and I were to do this, would he wear a tuxedo?
19:07I, uh, no, uh, not, not, uh, no, not Abe.
19:14You've got one question.
19:16You've got one question left, Joey.
19:18I've only got one question?
19:19Only one question.
19:19I'm very informal.
19:20Oh, I pass.
19:22All right, Bill.
19:23Thanks.
19:24Go.
19:24Um, do some famous men, do some very, I'm going to take a new text.
19:28Some very famous men know how to do this particular thing particularly well?
19:33Yes.
19:33Yes, I would say that famous men did it rather well.
19:35Men in Washington?
19:38D.C.?
19:39Yes.
19:40Yes, indeed.
19:41Has, has, uh, has President Truman ever done this on the floor in Congress before?
19:48Obviously, not what I'm thinking.
19:54Well, now, of course, you know, there's an election coming up.
20:03I, uh, I, I imagine that, uh, I imagine he has.
20:12I imagine he has at one time or another, yes.
20:16With all due respect, of course, yes, I imagine he has.
20:20Has Margaret ever done it on the radio?
20:22Uh, you mean while she was on the radio?
20:28Has she done it?
20:29I don't think so.
20:31I don't think so.
20:32Well, I, I got another.
20:33How many tacks do I have left?
20:35Uh, is this thing done in a sitting position?
20:41Yes.
20:41Yes, yes.
20:42And you have two and a half minutes, panel.
20:44All right.
20:45Now, we got it done in a sitting position.
20:47It's done in Washington.
20:48I won't ask that question.
20:49Uh, is it ever done in, in a movie?
20:53Uh, yes.
20:54Yes, uh, a great deal at times.
20:57During a comedy?
20:59During a comedy or something funny?
21:01No.
21:02Well, yes.
21:03Oh, yes.
21:04I love it, you love it.
21:05Oh, my, yes.
21:07I think you can.
21:08Bob, when a person is doing this particular thing, is there, do they make noise?
21:12Is there noise involved in it?
21:17Yes.
21:17Yes, there might be.
21:19Well, when, when, when I'm or any of us are on television, is it possible that we might
21:24make people do this thing?
21:30Now, when you say we, Bill, are you referring to yourself or to the panel as a whole?
21:42The group as a whole?
21:43He always refers to himself as we.
21:45He thinks of himself as royalty.
21:47I see.
21:47In other words, you, your question restated probably is, if I, meaning you, were on television,
21:53could I have this, could I have, would people do this while you, Bill Cohen, were on?
21:57We.
21:58Right.
21:59Yes.
21:59Yes, they would.
22:01All right, good.
22:04We've got one question left.
22:05All right, I'm going to use it now because I might get a chance.
22:07We've got one question.
22:08And we have about one minute.
22:09Yeah, I might get a chance to demonstrate this.
22:11If right this moment I were just in the interest of science and investigation, if right this moment
22:16I were to tickle Joan, would she do this?
22:21I don't know what effect you have.
22:22I, uh...
22:25I, um, she might.
22:28No, I guess not.
22:29No, I guess not, Bill.
22:31I guess not.
22:32Let's finish with you, young man.
22:33All right.
22:34Abe, we have 30 seconds, Abe.
22:35From all the argument that the discussion's taking place, this seems to be an act that you do
22:39because what you referred to, Cullen, Congressman, movies and everything, it seems to be an act
22:44of boredom.
22:45Oh.
22:47Not necessarily a...
22:48Well, let's put it in an act of...
22:50It has to do with falling asleep at some.
22:53That might be describing it.
22:55Has it got to do with this act of sleep?
22:57All right.
22:58Yes.
22:58And you say there's a noise made.
23:00Now, what kind of noise do you make when you sleep?
23:02You...
23:03You breathe...
23:04You snore!
23:05Yes, no, no.
23:06Now, you're on the right track and I'm going to have to...
23:08You don't snore?
23:09Well, you might, but I'm going to have to...
23:10Does it have to do with a snore?
23:11It has to do with sleep and I'm going to have to call time, but you were on the right track
23:15and I hate to do this, but I'd like you to meet Will Sleep.
23:19Oh.
23:27You know, I was thinking, Mr. Sleep, the greatest thing in the world would be...
23:32The greatest thing in the world would be if you were an insomniac, are you?
23:36Do you sleep well?
23:37Well, a time.
23:39A time.
23:39All right.
23:40Thank you very much.
23:41Go on over there, pick up your checks, and thanks from Swanson for playing the names the same.
23:45Nice to have you on the show.
23:55We'll be back in a moment, folks, to tell you how our panel did and a little bit about
23:58next week, Gene.
23:59All right, let's have some accounting.
24:01Bill Cullen, will you make your report?
24:02Freckles.
24:03Well, on the shoulder.
24:05Bob, I lost $75, but it doesn't matter because according to what I learned tonight, everyone's
24:09asleep anyway.
24:10Good night.
24:11Pleasant dreams.
24:12Joan Alexander, how about you?
24:14I lost $75, and if Bill Cullen tickled me, I would fall asleep.
24:18Good night, everybody.
24:19Hey, Bob.
24:20How about you?
24:22I lost $75, and I'm worried about this couple next to me.
24:25Good night, everybody.
24:26Good night, panel.
24:27Considering everything, I think you did very, very well tonight.
24:35So long, folks, for C.A. Swanson and Sons, backers of America's best-known brand of canned
24:41and frozen boulders.
24:42Trying their grades.
24:44The panel and I will see you again next week on The Names the Same, which will be brought
24:47to you by Bendix Home Appliance.
24:49The Names the Same has been a Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.
24:57Associate producer, Peter Arnell.
24:59Directed by Jerome Schnur.
25:01Technical director, George Weber.
25:03Miss Alexander's gown by Paul Parnes.
25:05This is Lee Vine speaking for C.A. Swanson and Sons.
25:07This is Lee Vine speaking for C.A. Swanson and Sons.