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00:00Then
00:02Shelly guess what today is. Oh, no trick questions, please my liver ain't awake yet
00:06It's the 12th anniversary of our second failed marriage
00:13Worst six hours of my life, but the divorce was nice. Thanks for the house. Thanks for the jewelry. Yeah, so should we have breakup sex?
00:30Pioneer shelly ocean
00:34William a mummy party princess cashmere Ramada music mobile with my touch serve Sebastian
00:56Buddy, oh look at this. He always has one ready for me thumbs up player
00:59Oh
01:01Good yeah, I made it. Just how you like it layer free
01:06It's great to see you back to your hole. Let's get the show started. Okay, we're gonna meet our contestants in a minute first of all hello stars
01:18Good, okay, Shelly you seem to have a little glow yourself already a couple of those will do that
01:22What'd you do this last? Oh, Vegas, you know
01:25I said through 40 minutes a blue man group
01:27Yeah, big bang boom too loud for my taste the backstage afterwards was a blast I walked around the entire next day with blue
01:34handprints all over my pants
01:36Oh
01:38Oh people having sex is gross. Oh, hey
01:42Weezy, where's our audience from tonight, buddy?
01:44Well, Larry tonight's audience was told that they were going to a taping of Oprah's favorite things. So basically we lied audience
01:51Yeah, sorry about that
01:53Let's meet our contestants here
01:57Hi guys, and
01:59What's your name?
02:01John Adams. Oh, you look fantastic for 300 our second president
02:05It's really unbelievable
02:07And what's your name?
02:09Sybil Curry
02:10Where are you from Sybil?
02:11Boston
02:12Like John Adams?
02:13Yeah
02:14The president anyway
02:15In any case, let's get on with the show. The first round is pretty simple. So it's perfect for our panel
02:20I give them a topic. They give me an answer
02:23Two of them are telling the truth. Two of them are lying
02:25You have to figure out the liar. Okay, sounds easy enough. There's just one tiny problem
02:30I've known these folks for years and they're pretty good liars. Okay, so let's get going and weasel buddy
02:36How much is a correct answer worth in the first round? Well, Larry in round one? They'll be playing for five hundred and twelve dollars
02:48Well, Larry five hundred and twelve is the number of time cashmere's cell phone rang during last week's show
02:53Our first category is US state parks that sound more fun than they really are remember two are telling the truth and two are lying
03:07Shelly give us a state park
03:09Big Bone Lick State Park
03:11Big Bone Lick State Park
03:13Oh, yeah
03:15William give us a state park that sounds like more fun than it really is
03:19Uh, slippery shaft state park
03:23Oh, good lord
03:23People travel millions of miles to get there just to see the geyser
03:29Wow
03:29I sat in the wrong spot and whoa, off I went
03:33Cashmere, give us a state park
03:37Mine's a Blue Knob State Park
03:40My boyfriend said you can die from a Blue Knob
03:43It's really serious
03:47Blue Knob State Park
03:49Okay, and Sebastian, give us a state park that sounds like more fun than it really is
03:54Lady's Cave State Park
03:57Oh, good lord
03:57Oh, I've heard of that one
03:58You know, the Lady Cave is easy to find now
04:01But in the 70s, it was covered in thick shrubbery
04:03Thank you
04:04Thank you
04:08Thank you
04:09Thank you
04:10Let's review our answers here
04:15Shelly says Big Bone Lick State Park
04:17William Mummy says Slippery Shaft State Park
04:20Cashmere says Blue Knob State Park
04:22Sebastian says Ladies Cave State Park
04:25So, hammer in your answers
04:27Let's see what they are
04:29Oh!
04:29Oh!
04:30You both picked William Mummy
04:32It's a menage a mummy
04:34All right, so why do you think William is a liar?
04:39It doesn't sound real
04:41What?
04:42Slippery Shaft State Park
04:43So, in other words, you just both think he's a liar
04:44Yeah
04:45All right, well, let's find out who else might be a little liar
04:48Cashmere
04:49Honey, are you a liar?
04:51Uh, no, I'm telling the truth
04:54But, yeah, it's in Pennsylvania, but it should lie and say it's from New York
05:02Sebastian, buddy
05:04Yes, sir
05:05Ladies Cave State Park, are you a liar?
05:08Well, although I have been spelunking in many a ladies cave
05:12There is no state park, I lied
05:17So, Shelley, William, who's the liar?
05:24Well
05:25Did I lie about state parks, considering I can't even hike to the end of my driveway?
05:29Then again, city parks are fun at night, especially very late
05:33I'm a liar!
05:35Oh, he's the liar!
05:37You know what that means, you both won $512
05:42Yes!
05:44All right, here's your buddy
05:47Yeah, we are
05:48So, what's the score at the end of the first round?
05:49Well, Larry, Sybil is in first place with $512
05:53And John has fallen far behind in second with $512
05:57All right, we'll come back
06:02Remember, more money, more funny, and more drinking
06:05We'll be right back
06:06Oh, let's see Shrek!
06:16Eh, Mummy and I saw it already, meh
06:18We walked out and snuck into Sex and the City 2
06:20Oh, how was that?
06:21We snuck back into Shrek
06:23I could see Get Em to the Greek
06:25That's my mantra for half-hour massages
06:27I only want to see Twilight Eclipse or I'm leaving
06:30Oh, wait, I can't!
06:31I haven't seen the first two yet
06:32Plus, scary movies make me go pee-pee
06:34Oh, how about night and day, eh?
06:36Cruz, Diaz?
06:37No!
06:38How about we just get a bottle of Hooch and sit in my car?
06:41Okay, come on!
06:42Hooch comes in a bottle
06:44Chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick
06:45Central only on GSN
06:53Welcome back to Late Night Liars
06:55The show where the prize is small, but the chance for embarrassment is huge
06:59Over to you, Larry!
07:00Now let's move on to our second round
07:03This time, three of them are telling the truth, okay?
07:06And only one is lying
07:08Three are telling the truth only one is lying
07:09Weasel buddy, how much did they win for a correct answer this time?
07:12Well, Larry, in round two, they'll be playing for $882
07:20And how did you come up with that number, 882?
07:23Well, Larry, 882 is the number of my offspring that have been eaten by snakes, lemurs, and warthogs
07:28Don't feel bad, that's a relatively low number for a weasel, Larry
07:34Oh, weird
07:35So remember, three of them are telling the truth, only one is lying
07:38And this category is, ready panel?
07:40Ready
07:41Songs on a Lindsay Lohan album
07:44Oh!
07:45Yay, yay, yay, yay
07:47Wait, wait, easy
07:49It's Kashmir's best friend, but we're not done yet
07:51Songs on a Lindsay Lohan album that sound like they might be autobiographical, okay?
07:57Oh!
07:58You still have to pick the liar, okay?
08:00William Mummy, Will, start us out
08:02Oh, uh, trashed
08:04Which is also what I have to be when I listen to her albums
08:14Well, I think I know where the audience's sentiments lie
08:16Uh, Kashmir, honey, who's your best friend?
08:18Yeah, she's my best friend
08:20Yeah
08:21Yeah
08:22All right, well, then you should know this one
08:24Give us a song from one of her albums that sounds like it might be autobiographical
08:28My song is disconnected, because that's what the public gets from her
08:32She's a genius
08:33I mean, Love Bug, Freaky Friday, nobody did that before her
08:41Kashmir's right, because in her world nothing existed before 1992
08:44No
08:45Plus he's a fire crotch, though
08:50That's good!
08:51It is!
08:52Carpet matches the tapes, definitely
08:54Sebastian, as the biggest record producer in the world, you should know this too
08:57Most definitely
08:58Give us a Lindsay Lohan song from an album that might be autobiographical
09:01I actually produced one of her albums once
09:03Uh, the song Black Hole
09:06Black Hole
09:07Yeah?
09:08From which neither light nor her career prospects will ever escape
09:13Wow
09:14Sorry
09:16Black Hole
09:17I think we're all just thrilled when he said Black Hole
09:19I think we all did the same thing
09:20We just went
09:21Oh, no
09:22Don't say it, don't say it
09:23Could have gone either way
09:24Okay, Shelly
09:25Over
09:28Yeah
09:30Oh, not like over
09:31Like plural of ovum
09:32No
09:33No, right
09:34Over
09:35Exactly
09:36Like, uh...
09:37Like done, as in done
09:38Yeah, like her career
09:39Oh, I had to two-time it
09:40Double whammy
09:41Had to go there
09:42Double whammy
09:43Double whammy
09:45That's mean, Shelly, that's mean
09:47Yeah
09:48Don't fight
09:49Don't fight
09:50Shelly, you're just jealous, because she's young and hot
09:52Don't fight, I'm in the middle and I don't want to bruise
09:55Shelly said, over
09:56William, mummy says, trashed
09:58Cashmere says, disconnected
09:59Uh-huh
10:00And Sebastian says, oh, black hole
10:03Oh
10:04So, uh, lock in your answers
10:05Remember, we're looking for one celebrity
10:07Who is lying here
10:08Let's see what you got
10:09Reveal the answers
10:10Oh, okay
10:11John says, Sebastian
10:13And Sybil says, mummy
10:15Sybil
10:16Okay, nice
10:17Sybil, I'm beginning to think you're like one of the big kids in the schoolyard
10:19Just picking on me
10:21Oh, God
10:23I love you
10:24Okay
10:25That's enough
10:26That's enough
10:27That's enough affection
10:28Weird
10:29So, let's just continue now
10:31Uh-oh
10:32Shelly, honey
10:33Shelly, honey
10:34Uh-uh
10:35Shelly
10:36I wasn't asleep
10:37I was doing my Lindsay Lohan impression
10:39Shelly
10:40Shelly
10:41Shelly
10:42Shelly
10:43Shelly
10:44Shelly
10:45Shelly, honey
10:46Yeah
10:47You said, over
10:48I did
10:49And I was telling the truth
10:50All right
10:51There's a song called over
10:52Too soon
10:53Too soon
10:54Too soon
10:55Okay, and Kaj
10:56Uh-huh
10:57Are you a liar?
10:58No, I'm telling the truth
11:01There is
11:02Oh
11:03Of course she is
11:06So just the way it should be
11:07It comes down to one of you guys is going to win some money
11:09One of you guys, well, won't
11:12But let's see who that is
11:13Between William Mummy and Sebastian
11:15Who's the liar?
11:16Who's the liar?
11:19She's, uh, burning a lot of money for me
11:21I don't know if I could lie about it, but
11:23I'm the liar!
11:25Oh!
11:26I did it
11:27I lied again
11:32Good job, Sybil
11:33You did it again
11:34Congratulations, Sybil
11:35You did it again
11:36Picking on William or not
11:37You still won the money
11:38Sorry
11:39Good to pick on the weave
11:40Weasel, where do we stand now?
11:41Well, Larry
11:42Sybil is skyrocketed into the lead
11:44With $1,394
11:51And John is pretty much left with the same Poultry 512 we had from the last round
11:56Well, we'll be back
11:57Remember in round three
11:58Anything can happen
11:59Well, not anything
12:00We'll still have clothes on
12:01After this
12:08Oh, Danny boy
12:11The pipes, the pipes are calling
12:15Of all the musical acts I've produced in my career
12:18This is definitely another one
12:20Larry Miller and Weasel together again for the very first time in very old songs in the key of cute
12:26That means hi
12:28That means hi
12:29That's goodbye
12:30That's goodbye
12:31I know that sound
12:32Time to buy another round
12:33Time to buy another round
12:34Including songs that have moved us for generations
12:39Ah, yes, an oldie but a freebie
12:45I didn't spend any money on them
12:47But you certainly should
12:49Available any
12:50Pack up your troubles in your old kid bag and smile
12:54Welcome back to Late Night Liars
13:04The show where even though you might lose, you still come in second place
13:09Over to you, Larry
13:10Thanks, buddy
13:11It's the third round and that means anything can happen
13:13Because you each just pick one panelist
13:15And then he or she tells your story
13:16You just have to decide whether he or she is lying, okay?
13:19All right
13:20We give them a topic
13:21Today's topic is take your medicine
13:23And Sybil wouldn't go with you first
13:24Ah
13:25Because you're in the lead
13:26Who's going to be your panelist?
13:27Ah, my girl, Kashmir Ramada
13:29Yes!
13:30Ah
13:31That basically means I'm more popular than the rest of you
13:38For the moment
13:40Basically it does
13:41All right, Kash, tell us a story about medicine
13:44I totally know a lot about medicine
13:46I watched Grey's Anatomy
13:48Once at a party at Katherine Heigl's house
13:50She called me a bitch
13:52Which technically I am
13:54But it's still rude
13:55Anyway
13:56I noticed this
13:57Yeah
13:58Anyway
13:59I noticed this picture of her
14:02And some old Austrian guy
14:04And it turns out her dad
14:06Is some dead 80s pop star named Falco
14:09Wow
14:10That is an interesting fact about medicine
14:12So an 80s pop star named Falco
14:16Sybil, is she a liar?
14:18She's telling the truth
14:19She's telling the truth, huh?
14:21Kash?
14:22Uh-huh
14:23Are you a liar?
14:24I don't know who her dad is
14:25But it's definitely not some old Austrian dude
14:28I was lying!
14:30Burn!
14:31Oh!
14:33I'm sorry, Sybil
14:36That's all right, I told you
14:37They're pretty good liars
14:38Yeah
14:39We are
14:40So remember something now
14:41If you win here now
14:42By the way
14:43You have a chance at winning a lot more Dome
14:44We'll see something
14:45If you don't, if you don't guess correctly
14:46That means
14:47We say goodbye and good luck, okay?
14:49All right
14:50All right, pal, so pick a celebrity
14:51I gotta go with my man, Sir Sebastian
14:54Sir Sebastian
14:55All right
14:56All right, John
14:59You and me, John
15:00You and me
15:01Here it goes
15:02Sebastian, tell us a story about medicine
15:04And you are, after all, as he said, his man
15:06So let's hear it
15:07His man
15:08Okay
15:09On my, uh, I guess it was my third attempt
15:11To circumnavigate the globe in a hot air balloon
15:13Lost altitude crashed into the esteemed Loma Linda University Medical Center
15:21Oh
15:22Now it's a very big deal for a primate
15:23It's a landmark
15:24Because it's where the first successful baboon to human heart transplant
15:29Was performed back in 1984
15:31Wow
15:32You know what I love about that story is
15:34It was his third attempt in a balloon
15:37Okay, so his fact, though, is that in 1984
15:39The first baboon heart transplant took place in Loma Linda at Loma Linda University
15:45John, what do you say?
15:46Is he a liar?
15:47You know, that's a well-esteemed university and facility
15:53I think he's telling the truth
15:55Ah
15:56So Sebastian
15:57Yes, sir
15:58Are you a liar?
16:00As a member of the Simeon English American community
16:04I am proud to tell you that I am actually telling the truth
16:08Oh
16:09Oh
16:11And John, little side note, John
16:14To this very day, I keep my own manservant on reserve there in case I need his heart
16:20His name is Manny
16:22Manny
16:23Hi, Manny
16:24Did you get us on DVR?
16:25Hi, Manny
16:26Well, what better pleasure could there be than working for Sebastian?
16:29Congratulations
16:30Guess what happens now
16:31You get to pick on the randomometer that's gonna spin behind Sebastian right now
16:34Yeah
16:35And all you have to do is touch the button once
16:37Go ahead
16:38You need 883 to win
16:40Let's see what you come up with
16:41Seven
16:42Oh!
16:43How'd it go?
16:44How'd it go?
16:45How'd it go?
16:46You needed 883
16:47So close
16:48It was only $700
16:49That means Sybil is our winner
16:59Congratulations Sybil
17:00Just remember John
17:01First of all
17:02For just being here we give you $500
17:04That's a lot more than you came in with
17:05And you've been a great guest
17:06And we thank you for being here
17:07Plus
17:08Weasel has one of his special parting gifts for you
17:10What is it this time, Weasel?
17:11That's right, Larry
17:12Don't feel too bad for John
17:14Cause he's gonna be going home with crazy critters from Telebrands
17:18The durable, stuffing-free animals made especially for dogs
17:26You know, Larry, I sure wish they made one of those things for Weasels
17:28I'm awful lonely
17:30Aww
17:32Sybil has a shot and an additional $10,000 in the two-topic showdown
17:36Boo! Larry!
17:37What, buddy? What?
17:38Hey! You know how much it's worth tonight?
17:39How much, Weasel?
17:40Tonight's prize is $9,993
17:43$9,993
17:45$9,993
17:49Well, still I guess you'd agree that's close enough, isn't it?
17:52Sorry, I borrowed the remainder of that to give to the valet to not get out of the car
17:59Whatever you paid him for now costs $7?
18:01Well, what a horrible economy we live in
18:04All right
18:05Thanks, folks, we'll be right back
18:15Ms. Armada, I'm gonna need you to lift your leg and count one 1,000 up to 30
18:19What?
18:20Can't we just go have a drink?
18:22I can't count to 30,000 and that'll take forever
18:26Hold on
18:28Okay
18:301, 2, 3, 30,000
18:35Alright, I'm gonna need to take you in
18:37What?
18:38Do you know who my father is?
18:41Seriously
18:42I don't know who my father is
18:44Don't touch me, police officer
18:48Animal control
18:49The models
18:50The money
18:55Welcome back to Late Night Liars
18:57Where all that stands between you and 10 grand are four liars in a statistical impossibility
19:02Over to you, liar
19:04Thanks, weasel
19:05Well, welcome back
19:06You won a lot of money
19:07And now it's time for the two-topic showdown
19:12There's a chance at $9,993
19:14So you know what?
19:15We get two of our celebrities
19:17In this case, it's Shelly and William
19:19And here's how we do it
19:20Each one will tell you a fact on a topic
19:22Mm-hmm
19:23Shelly's topic is facts about chicken
19:25William's is facts about gold
19:27You have to say truth or lie to the facts they say
19:31You get eight of those in 43 seconds, you get almost $10,000, okay?
19:34Okay
19:35Weasel, put 43 seconds up there, buddy
19:37All set, Capitan
19:39Thanks
19:40And ready, good luck
19:41And go
19:42McDonald's sells nuggets of it in packs of $6 and $9
19:45True
19:46More than a million tons of it are stored in a vault in Kentucky
19:49True
19:50Colonel Sanders' recipe for it is stored in a vault in Kentucky
19:53True
19:54In 2009, it's price topped out at over $2,000 an ounce
19:58False
19:59Eight ounces of it can contain 45 grams of protein
20:03True
20:04Its chemical symbol is AU
20:06True
20:07Visible flakes of it float in Goldschlager brand schnapps
20:10Life
20:13The MacArthur Forest process uses the cyanide solution to extract it from low-grade ore
20:17True
20:18It is the main ingredient in Rachel Ray's chicken-fried steak
20:21True
20:23Oh
20:24It contains no fat or cholesterol
20:26Oh
20:28Close
20:29Wow
20:31That was so close
20:32I was really into that, it was so close
20:33Thank you
20:34But you know what, you did great
20:35Weasel, how much does she win?
20:36Well Larry, we're giving her $500 for each correct answer
20:39Which brings Sybil up to a total of $4,894
20:44That is pretty good, congratulations
20:45Thank you
20:46Thank you folks for joining us on Late Night Live
20:47Remember, we lie here for money, but don't you lie at home unless of course it's for money
20:51See you next time
20:52Thank you