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Gogglebox S25E13
Gogglebox Season 25 Episode 13

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Transcript
00:00Say Bobby bad. Bobby bad. Don't do that to Ezra's hair. Bobby bad. Bobby bad. Excuse me little man. Say there's gonna be trouble. What do we say to Bobby when he makes too much noise?
00:19Are you clever? This is incriminating. Let's listen. What? What is happening? He's not being really perked up at that. You'd expect this to be like a Hollywood blockbuster.
00:39What the hell? What's that? Just thanks Jane. Just thanks. Yes. I'm hearing a pirate audience. Then he's looking at vanilla slice. Have you got Trump fatigue yet? No, he's a great disruptor Mary.
00:57In the week David Attenborough turned 99. We enjoyed lots of great telly. David O'Leary was offering us loads of money to keep our mouths shut.
01:08Since congratulations to all of you have already won all of the money right now. A quarter of a million pounds to be shared between you.
01:16I'm not trying to pick holes but there's quite a few people there already. It wouldn't actually be that much money.
01:21It would be enough to be quiet for. Yeah, true. All you have to do is not make a noise. Exactly.
01:26If you're 20 pounds I'll just shut up. Absolutely. Oh really?
01:30Oh right. Honesty was the best policy for these singletons on E4. Jesus Christ.
01:37At the Truth Terrace you will vote to reveal one person's honesty box and 10,000 pounds is at stake if anyone has lied.
01:45I do white lies. Little small white lies. That's still a lie.
01:49They're not big ones are they? That's still a lie. Okay.
01:52My laughs are like, oh did you eat today? No. Don't eat much.
02:00No, well really I've backed like two burgers already.
02:04And Emma Thompson was having fun with a younger model on Channel 4.
02:09What's the oldest person you've ever done it with?
02:1182.
02:1282?
02:13Yes.
02:1382?
02:14Yeah.
02:1482?
02:15Nancy.
02:15Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now.
02:19Older women struggle to remain visible.
02:21Do they?
02:22Is that right, Nottie?
02:24Am I struggling to remain visible?
02:25No, because you're married. That puts you out of the game.
02:29Married.
02:29You're not in the dating game.
02:31Well, I might be.
02:32You settled four second best and that's what.
02:34You've made your bed and you'll lie in it.
02:36No, I might not.
02:37Yeah.
02:38Yeah.
02:45Incafilly.
02:47Oh, we're already no kids for oldies.
02:49I know.
02:50Oh, I'm going to get one of those plastic bags, you know.
02:53You're not getting a bum bag?
02:54No, not a bum bag.
02:56Dave and his wife Shirley.
02:58And what do you mean bum bag?
03:00Well, I...
03:00It doesn't matter with a bum bag.
03:01You've had a bum bag.
03:03I got a bum bag in a suitcase.
03:04Yeah, I know, but you ain't taking it.
03:06I got.
03:06You're not.
03:07I'm telling you that's worth it.
03:08You are not putting a bum bag.
03:10That bum bag, you've got a little compartment for change.
03:13She is.
03:13A little compartment for your notes.
03:15And then you can't find nothing.
03:17Because you're always like that.
03:18Always that.
03:19Always my pepper.
03:21You can't find nothing in it.
03:22I like pulling it around.
03:23I do it in the shop and they go,
03:25that'll be three or six.
03:26Yeah.
03:27I know.
03:28There you go.
03:30Ah.
03:33Background.
03:34Oh, God.
03:36This week, Dermotol Airy was keeping quiet about a brand new show.
03:41I hate silence.
03:44I know you don't shut up.
03:45You couldn't be silent if you're life dependent on it.
03:48I'm silent when I'm asleep.
03:51Not even any make a noise.
03:53I've recorded it.
03:55Inside of here is a studio audience.
03:58We've given them a quarter of a million pounds for doing absolutely nothing.
04:04That's all right.
04:04When you get on the show.
04:05That sounds very easy.
04:07Yeah.
04:07There must be a catch.
04:08Now, we're going to do everything in our power to get it back.
04:13Oh, I see.
04:14But they're not going to let them leave with 250,000 then.
04:17It's going down.
04:18There's a microphone and a camera on every single audience member.
04:21Any time anyone makes a noise, it costs them.
04:25Oh, no.
04:26It's going to be so hard.
04:28God.
04:28The pressure.
04:29What about if I had to take a deep breath?
04:31I like taking a deep breath every now and again.
04:34Small noise.
04:35Five grand.
04:36Big noise.
04:37Big noise.
04:38Oh.
04:39I'm doing several.
04:40This show would be over in half an hour if I was on it.
04:43You know.
04:44I'd give you five grand if you've climbed down for a bit.
04:48I'd like to watch the show.
04:53You're going like that just recently.
04:55I'm like, ooh.
04:56Ooh.
04:57I did, yeah.
04:57So why are you a fucking owl?
04:59I just don't think I laugh much.
05:01I'm not a laugh.
05:02Give me a shriveling.
05:03I'm not a laugh.
05:04You are not a laugh.
05:05You are not funny.
05:06No.
05:07So I'd be great at this.
05:09Get me on that.
05:13What are these doing in the room then?
05:15They're the green room.
05:17They're the people are going to perform in front of the audience.
05:20The green room is the only room that's allowed to make a noise.
05:22We will start the game.
05:25In.
05:27No.
05:29Just shut up.
05:31And start being silent now.
05:32Two.
05:33One.
05:34Five grand.
05:39Five grand.
05:49It's good we can sell, though, isn't it?
05:51When we're watching it.
05:52No, you can.
05:53We're only watching it.
05:58Five grand.
05:59Oh, what was that?
06:00What happened?
06:03Ah!
06:04The chuckle and spiders at them.
06:06What?
06:06What?
06:08It is quite fun, isn't it?
06:12Very impressive.
06:13Oh, the scowls already.
06:17Do you know what I do?
06:18I nip on that.
06:19I don't laugh.
06:21Well, you would just scream if you nipped somebody.
06:23Look.
06:23Ow!
06:26Joanne, any noise there at all?
06:28We had people break already.
06:30Him in the black T-shirt.
06:32What?
06:33What?
06:34Oh, I will.
06:35Oh, I will.
06:36You know, bed.
06:37Something dropped.
06:38They are, are they little spiders.
06:40Hey, Sarge!
06:41Oh, no!
06:43Oh, no!
06:44But that's naughty.
06:46But then if he's just bad, he's just bad.
06:48That's unfair.
06:49Do I have to ask him a question?
06:51He's very joking.
06:53There's Santa.
06:55This man is a big deal.
06:57Yeah, the comedians are thinking Will's a man now.
06:59He's the target.
07:00Yeah.
07:00He's a fucking liability, isn't he?
07:03Yeah.
07:03Other attempts to bring the money down included.
07:06Oh, uh-oh.
07:07Oh, my God!
07:08Oh, my God!
07:10What's that?
07:11Oh, it's a naked woman, isn't it?
07:13Is he?
07:16Naked Lily's tits are better than mine,
07:18and she's at least double my age.
07:22Oh, no!
07:24No, no, no!
07:25She's coming closer.
07:26She's coming closer!
07:27I'll be ashamed!
07:28I'll be ashamed!
07:30I'll be like, ah!
07:32Here he is!
07:34Please not, Will.
07:36Fucking hell.
07:37Oh, God, Will is finished.
07:38He is finished.
07:39Mr. Giggles, shut up!
07:41This is your worst nightmare, just money going down the drain, down the drain, down the drain.
07:53You're probably losing money through tears at this point.
07:55Yeah.
07:56Just audible crying.
07:57You'd be so good at this.
07:59Hello.
08:00Yeah, he would.
08:00He's like, you're just going to standby mode at any moment.
08:03He's gone.
08:04He's gone.
08:04That's it.
08:05It bleeds.
08:08What were it like spending three whole weeks with Toby?
08:11It were nice.
08:13Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:15He did call me picky and controlling, didn't he?
08:18Yes.
08:18During the three weeks.
08:19Yeah.
08:20But then he proved me right with what I was saying, that he's a slack bastard.
08:26I told mum that he called you picky and controlling, and mum said, good for him.
08:32She is.
08:32This week, the song was just about to set on another series of this.
08:39Maths is all I talk about at work, literally.
08:42I'm not even joking.
08:43Like, to the point where my boss got fed up of me talking about it on the headsets.
08:48I actually got so...
08:49Like, he banned any maths talk.
08:50There you go.
08:51You're happy now.
08:52You got your programme on.
08:53It's worth living.
08:57Yeti, final vows, Paddas.
08:59Here we go.
09:08Oh, look at his face.
09:10He's lit up.
09:14Oh, that face.
09:15She gave, like, a villain look to the camera.
09:17Something's coming here, don't you think?
09:19Rara and Jack's together at the end, still laughing at ourselves.
09:24Oh.
09:26She's mustered a smirk.
09:28Jackie, we were wild.
09:29It's wonderful and weird as hell.
09:31That I agree with, yes.
09:33But...
09:34Bulls.
09:35I have to admit.
09:35They're always a bulls.
09:36Oh, my God.
09:37I like big bulls and I cannot lie.
09:39This is amazing.
09:40When we first moved in, I thought, oh, God.
09:44Who the hell have I shacked up with?
09:45A high-maintenance nightmare?
09:48That's what Toby says about me.
09:51The endless parade of clothing and online shopping.
09:54Always patiently giving you my thoughts, even when asked for the hundredth time.
09:57Hey, Ryan.
09:59What do you think of this dress?
10:00She's fuming.
10:04She's fuming.
10:05Look at her.
10:05Look at her.
10:06Look at her.
10:07Why would you say this in your mouth?
10:09After declaring at the last commitment ceremony that this marriage is worth fighting for,
10:13your behaviour during the final tests undermined it almost completely.
10:17Meeting and entertaining another single man.
10:19When they both had the opportunity, they both went on a date with two different people.
10:24But Jackie actually got her date's number.
10:27To my values, that's the bedrock of disloyalty and disrespect.
10:31Surely he's not going to stay after that.
10:33Sounds like he's finishing it to me.
10:35Right now, I feel we aren't strong enough to continue this marriage.
10:40Oh, my gosh.
10:43He's going to say you don't.
10:44He's going to say we're through.
10:45I will be walking away from this relationship.
10:51Oh!
10:53She'll be fuming because she does the dumping, not the dumpy.
10:57Yeah, she thinks, how dare you dump me?
11:00Yeah.
11:01Do you know what?
11:02Thank God for that because that is the best thing for these two.
11:05Yeah!
11:06They're not meant to be together.
11:07This is not a healthy relationship.
11:09It needed to be done, didn't it?
11:10It did.
11:11For that, and for saying your crazy eyes, I'm sorry.
11:18I'm sorry.
11:20I'm sorry.
11:21That's a nervous laughter.
11:24He's fearing for his life.
11:26That's the problem.
11:27He's thinking I'm going to have to fucking like hit him in it.
11:31Hit me with it.
11:33Ryan.
11:35Hit me with it, Ryan.
11:37I can honestly say I gave this experience and you everything I could, leaving absolutely
11:46no stone unturned.
11:48But please don't mistake my meekness for weakness.
11:52Really, this should be paper, yeah?
11:53Yeah.
11:54You know, this should be VT sports.
11:56I'm surprised it's not on dozen, to be fair.
11:59You cursed the majority of my boundaries, and your conduct fell well below the standard
12:03of what I'm willing to accept in a marriage.
12:05Oh, this sounds freakishly like my job performance review.
12:11If this experiment taught me anything, it's that you shouldn't try and fix your husband.
12:16You shouldn't try and fix your husband.
12:18You didn't, did you?
12:20You went in with your eyes open.
12:23Well, there was nothing to fix in those days.
12:26What's that?
12:27The fixing came later.
12:28Now it's too late.
12:30I don't want to be spoken over when I try and speak.
12:33Don't what?
12:33I don't want to be spoken over.
12:35Oh, that's like you, Natty, when I try and have a conversation with you, and you say
12:39to me, stop heckling.
12:40Yeah.
12:40I was...
12:41You're right.
12:43I won't.
12:44Are you done again?
12:47Petty, I like it.
12:49I was always open and willing to listen and fix.
12:52What's your freak?
12:53She went up to listening to...
12:55Oh, you're lying soft.
12:57It's not me.
12:58Your pride is the problem.
13:00It's not me, it's you.
13:02I mean, he's got a big neck, but he hasn't got a big head.
13:04Brian, in a world of red flags, you are the red carpet.
13:07I love that line, in a world of red flags, you are the red carpet.
13:15I'm going to use that one.
13:19I just wished him look, Jackie, and say, you know, I wish you luck.
13:22Give him a kiss and say goodbye.
13:24She's digging deeper now, isn't she?
13:26She's absolutely belittling him.
13:28Goodbye.
13:28Oh, goodbye.
13:33She's so iconic.
13:35She's actually an icon.
13:37She really enjoyed that, Lee.
13:39She enjoyed every bit of it.
13:41So did he, though, Jenny?
13:42He did, yeah, he did.
13:43I think I'd be quite happy if you were to vow never to have beer again
13:49and not to scream in a woman's voice when you want me to come to the table.
13:54Oh, I hate it.
13:58Oh, I hate it.
14:00Always gets you, though, doesn't it?
14:01Oh.
14:03He didn't know that I could do falsetto.
14:07Frank me, Frankie Valli, the Bee Gees, there's a whole lot of us that can do it, Natty.
14:19Sorry, Hall.
14:21It's neat.
14:21What's the plan for tomorrow?
14:22Why?
14:23The Liz on at half past twelve.
14:24Not again.
14:25We've got a bra shopping tomorrow.
14:27That's very important, too.
14:29Teresa and her wife, Anita.
14:31I feel that the football is dominating our life a little more than I expected.
14:35When I married a woman, I kind of thought I'd be getting away with this football malarkey.
14:41Oh, no.
14:41No, I realise that.
14:42It's an happiness.
14:43I should have put that on me profile thing on match.com.
14:50No football fans.
14:52Oh, no.
14:54If it's a toss-up between you and the villa, love.
14:56On Friday night, there was a right royal exclusive on BBC News.
15:05The news is on there.
15:06Yes, it is.
15:08The news.
15:09You like the news?
15:11I wonder what fresh horrors they've found from combing the eight billion people around the globe to find a bad news story.
15:19In an extraordinary interview tonight, Prince Harry has spoken candidly about the breakdown of his relationship with his father and other members of the royal family.
15:29Oh, here we go.
15:31I heard about it on radio earlier and thought I'd be dying to watch this.
15:34The prince gave an exclusive interview to the BBC hours after he lost his legal challenge about the level of security he receives when he's in the UK.
15:43He never knows when to stop, does he?
15:46The thing is, though, he's taken it to the courts.
15:48The courts have worked through it all.
15:50They've gone, no, it's fine.
15:52End of story.
15:53His protection, funded by the taxpayer, was downgraded in 2020 after he stopped being a working royal.
16:00Personally, I would never leave the royal family.
16:02I'm sorry, all the privileges, I'm sticking for life.
16:05Yeah, so.
16:06His argument is that private security doesn't have the same jurisdiction as, say, the police or government-provided security.
16:15That's his argument.
16:16It's not that he can't afford private security.
16:18It's the type of security it gives you.
16:20I can't see a world in which I would be bringing my wife and children back to the UK at this point.
16:27Shit.
16:27I miss the UK.
16:28I miss parts of the UK.
16:29Of course I do.
16:30We miss you, Harry, to be honest.
16:32You've given me some laughs over the years.
16:34I don't think he misses Birmingham.
16:37Or, like, Manchester, Blackpool.
16:41I think what he misses is Winter Castle.
16:44This, at the heart of it, is a family dispute.
16:47It's just a family rung.
16:49I think we all know about it now that they don't get up.
16:51Look at the risks.
16:51Look at the threat.
16:52Look at the impact.
16:54That if anything was to happen to me, my wife, or my father's grandchildren, if anything was to happen to them, look where their responsibility lies.
17:02Oh.
17:03That's a low blow.
17:04That seems like it were a dig at his dad, wasn't it?
17:07Mm.
17:08Because if I want Mum to do something for us, I'm like, are you going to do this for your grandchild?
17:13But for everybody else, people who have chosen this life to enter into public office and then leave, get it for life.
17:22Oh, well then that's not fair, is it?
17:25Yeah, Prime Minister's going for life, don't they?
17:27If Bloody Liz Trust gets it, then Prince Harry should.
17:30Yeah.
17:31I would love reconciliation with my family.
17:34He's definitely going about this the best way.
17:36Yeah.
17:37BBC News, I think.
17:38Ragamov at fucking Gold.
17:40Yeah.
17:40I don't know how much longer my father has.
17:43Wow.
17:44Why has he had to say that?
17:46He won't speak to me because of this security stuff.
17:49He won't even speak to him at all.
17:51That's got to be so hurtful, eh?
17:53Yeah.
17:54But his own dad won't choke him.
17:56I can forgive my family's involvement, my father, my brother and my stepmother.
18:02Always giving us the tea, he's giving us the people.
18:04He's got to actually ask for them to forgive him as well.
18:08It's got to go both ways.
18:10What I'm struggling to forgive and what I will probably always struggle to forgive
18:14is that a decision that was made in 2020 that affects my every single day.
18:23Well, I wouldn't either.
18:24It's a tricky one.
18:25Well, you can't deny, though, that it really does affect him, isn't it?
18:28Yeah, you can tell that.
18:29Yeah.
18:29That's real.
18:30There's loads more people that were far more famous than him that have less security than
18:34him.
18:35Yeah.
18:35Like, I'd say, like, if Beyonce came here, she'd need a lot more security than Prince Harry.
18:44Prince Harry is a lot more high profile than Beyonce.
18:48No.
18:49That is not correct.
18:50Yes.
18:51I'm sorry.
18:51He is.
18:51Queen Bee.
18:53He's putting something in a public account.
18:53She's a queen.
18:55He's just a prince.
18:56Yeah.
18:58In hall.
19:00Oh, what are you having?
19:01No.
19:01You don't have me know.
19:02Ah.
19:02Here's a trick.
19:03I've seen a trick.
19:04Oh, go on then.
19:05Right.
19:05Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
19:08Empty.
19:09Yeah.
19:11Empty.
19:11Yeah.
19:12Oh, yeah.
19:13Yeah.
19:14Yeah.
19:15Right.
19:16Watch.
19:17Watch where it is.
19:19Now, if you win, you can have them.
19:21Oh, all right.
19:21Watch where it's going.
19:26Where do you think it is?
19:27There.
19:29Pick it up.
19:35There's fuck all in them.
19:36This week, it was all about telling the truth in this dating show with a difference on E4.
19:48They have to do a lie detector, I think, don't they?
19:52Oh, my God.
19:53I think that's what the honesty box is all about.
19:55And then it comes out whether they're lying or telling the truth.
19:57A lie detector on a dating show is well over too, as far as I'm concerned.
20:02This is the honesty box.
20:06Is honesty the best policy?
20:08Not always.
20:09Does Nat need to know how many times I've bumped his cap?
20:12No.
20:13Does Nat need to know how many chickens I intend on getting.
20:17It's best it on.
20:18In the program, they found another villa with a pool for a bunch of paired-up singletons.
20:26I like those cuddles.
20:28My most very, very smart is my phone.
20:30Kane and Jessie Mae, to me, look like a match made in heaven for the dynamic that they both
20:34suit.
20:35Yeah.
20:36He's got the no indicator model BMW, which she drives a Fiat 500.
20:40Yeah.
20:41I'll say no more.
20:46Are we the boxers calling?
20:48There's the honesty box, Trump.
20:50It really lets you know it's there, innit?
20:55Don, you are now entering Trumtopia.
20:57Oh, it's a new person?
20:59Who's coming in to mix it up?
21:00Yep.
21:01You guys always do a little love island.
21:03Yeah!
21:05They're pushing each other out the way, the lads, aren't they?
21:10Move, let me get him fast.
21:13What's your usual type?
21:14So, the standard.
21:16Old, dark and handsome.
21:17Well built.
21:18Well built.
21:18So chicly.
21:20Is that the word?
21:21Cliché.
21:22Oh, cliche.
21:23What did you say?
21:24Chicly?
21:26Nice smile.
21:27It's Helen.
21:27It's Helen.
21:31Oh, look at that.
21:33Oh, hey, look at that look.
21:35She's like, yo, that's all like Kane.
21:37Yes, you may look stressed, boy.
21:39Yeah.
21:40I'm not saying that I'm going to fucking go, though.
21:41But one thing is, that is the type of girl that I'd date on the outside.
21:45That's Kane's type of a lady, then.
21:47He's already setting his stall out.
21:49Yeah.
21:49That's a kind of girl.
21:51Oh, thanks.
21:52Yeah.
21:52Hi.
21:53Hello.
21:53Hello.
21:53Can I come sit with us?
21:54Yeah, come on.
21:55Look at that look.
21:56Oh, look at that look.
21:57Oh, yeah.
21:58Oh, yeah.
21:59So, does it change anything me coming in here?
22:03Oh, wow.
22:03Don't go straight in.
22:05She's basically saying.
22:07What are you saying, boys?
22:08I'm a girl's girl.
22:09I'm happy to be, you know, honest with everybody.
22:12Oh, look at her.
22:13Look at her.
22:14Oh.
22:14I feel like Jessie Mae already knows her future.
22:17Yeah.
22:18Like, she's already panicking.
22:19She's already panicking.
22:21She's like, I'm going to miss my father.
22:23I feel like Don does want to get to know me.
22:27I mean, who doesn't?
22:31You're going to love that cock show on us, honestly.
22:33Wait, do that face.
22:35Like, there's not been no tests for me or anything.
22:37Obviously, all the first girls come in.
22:39So, that's admission that there was a test.
22:41It's good.
22:42Challenge accepted.
22:44Oh, Flirty Gator.
22:47Dom's seen that as a challenge.
22:49I don't think I have enough energy to fight for a man anyway.
22:51Me too.
22:52I just don't see myself doing that.
22:54There's so much hassle.
22:55I'm like, I don't even want you like that.
22:57Let's see what you've got in your locker.
23:01That is flirty.
23:03Now, what I'm shocked about here is that the F boy that's been covered up with somebody for three days isn't being loyal.
23:10Yeah.
23:11Honestly, this is such a revelation.
23:14Did you see it?
23:14Yeah.
23:15I didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime.
23:16No.
23:17That's disgusting.
23:18I didn't expect him to do that.
23:25He's still showing Jesse May affection.
23:27Yeah, but is it guilt?
23:29Is it guilt affection, bud?
23:30Guilt affection?
23:31Yeah, it's guilt affection.
23:32That's how I hug Mel when I know that I'm eating her ice cream.
23:35To the third of them, I think that I'd meet someone like you.
23:39Oh, my God.
23:42I can smell the bullshit.
23:48Snoggington!
23:48But he wants to look in another girl's locker and now he's doing this.
23:51How greedy, how gluttonous.
23:53Yes.
23:56The smooching of...
23:58Oh, look at the face on Dom.
24:00Dom doesn't look happy, does she?
24:02She's not clapping and cheering, is she?
24:04A bit later, we heard the red box summoning someone in for a grilling.
24:13Kane!
24:15He wants Kane.
24:17Kane, did you challenge Dom to turn your head?
24:21Yeah.
24:22He did.
24:25Everybody's on 10th turn.
24:26I was going to say, the shish is scary.
24:30Yes.
24:31Oh, there you are.
24:33He's being honest.
24:34Shit, it's done for for him.
24:36Oh, my God, it's done for.
24:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:44All right?
24:45Yeah, I'm fucking stunning.
24:46Me, mate.
24:47Mate.
24:48Oh, he's fucked it.
24:49I'm stunning me, mate.
24:51I'd go and push him in the pool if I were yesterday.
24:53I don't need to be embarrassed.
24:54I reckon you do have a little call off.
24:55I don't need to be embarrassed.
24:57I'm not here for it.
24:58It was just for you, man.
24:59I would be, though.
25:00Of course.
25:01It's humiliating.
25:02She's not there to be embarrassed.
25:03Well, I'm not making fun of the whole thing's embarrassing, aren't I?
25:06Yeah.
25:07I think you've written the whole point of the show.
25:09The whole thing's fucking embarrassing, isn't it?
25:11You're all grown-ups.
25:15And there's a winner in this.
25:26In Blackpool.
25:27You know what?
25:28I'm really struggling at the minute to think of something to do for mine and Paige's anniversary.
25:32Why don't you go on holiday?
25:33Fucking hell.
25:35It's four years.
25:37Me and his little sister, Sophie.
25:39The problem that I have in getting something for Paige is, you know, what do you get the
25:44girl that's gone everything?
25:45Akame.
25:46Therapy.
25:47This week, it was a strange little animal that took centre stage on Netflix.
25:58What's a pangolin?
25:59I don't know.
26:00It's ugly.
26:01What?
26:01It's that thing that rolls up in a bowl when you pick it up like an handbag.
26:05What are you on about?
26:06A pangolin.
26:07I don't know what a pangolin is.
26:08It's a rare.
26:08That's why.
26:09You don't know.
26:10Because it's a rare.
26:11It's going extinct.
26:12Do you remember the David Affenborough's favourite animal?
26:22Yes, I remember him saying that.
26:23Hello, Crumpy.
26:24Hello, darling.
26:25I think Crumpy knows you're talking about animals.
26:27Have you come to say hello?
26:29Hello.
26:30Hello.
26:30Hello.
26:30Hello.
26:31Hello, Plotty, Plotty.
26:32These pangolins, are they going to be all right?
26:34You're not an endangered species and you're quite happy here.
26:39Do you want to have a sit down, Crumpy?
26:41Thanks for coming, Crumpy.
26:42We're going back to bed.
26:43In the programme, we saw a volunteer pangolin walk a Gareth on the way to a rescue mission.
26:49The sting operation has been wielded in tow that there's a pangolin that the traffickers want to sell.
26:55There they are, look.
26:59Go, go, go, go, go, go.
27:00It's a pangolin sting.
27:02It's a pangolin sting.
27:08Grab him.
27:08They busted him.
27:09Look at it.
27:10Oh, they rescued it.
27:15Look, in a bloody washing basket.
27:20Is that a pangolin?
27:21It looks like an attitude, doesn't it?
27:23They can't run.
27:25They can't bite you.
27:28It's going to be describing me.
27:31You're good.
27:32You're good.
27:32They are just so harmless.
27:34Oh.
27:35Oh, love.
27:36Why would you want to root that?
27:37To be fair, I didn't eat your other animals just to protect that one.
27:39And after rescuing the pangolin, Gareth introduced it to a brand new home.
27:45There's just so much riding on him being a successful release.
27:50Oh, look at him.
27:52Look at his little legs.
27:54He's got little legs that he could make trousers for.
27:57We want to establish this place as a sanctuary for pangolins.
28:01That is the bizarrest thing I've ever seen.
28:04Where we walk, there is an electric fence around you.
28:10You don't want to be getting barbecuing by an electric fence, do you?
28:13Definitely not.
28:14They give quite a bell, though.
28:15The one day, I was walking, and I got distracted for a split second.
28:20Oh, Gareth.
28:21It's like looking after a baby, isn't it?
28:23Like a toddler.
28:24He just made a turn for the fence.
28:27Oh, no.
28:28No.
28:28So I dived backwards to push him away from the fence.
28:33What happened?
28:34Did Gareth get a shock?
28:35The current went through me, and I did charge him.
28:39Oh, the poor pangolin.
28:42Is he dead?
28:45Oh, look.
28:48Oh, is it shaking?
28:50He hadn't associated the charge with the fence.
28:53He had associated the charge with me.
28:55Oh, he hates Gareth now, doesn't he?
28:58After the electric fence, it's taken him a long time to forgive me.
29:03Well, I mean, it would.
29:04Are you surprised?
29:06Don't go climbing over the fence for anything.
29:08I don't think he understands English, though.
29:10I think he just got off and straight from the fence going, fuck you, Gareth.
29:12Right, what trouble are you going to get into now?
29:15Rule number one is don't lose the pangolin.
29:19Oh, yeah.
29:20It's a good idea.
29:21Rule number two, make sure you stick to rule number one.
29:25I was trying to give him a little bit more space.
29:28Don't say he's lost the bloody pangolin.
29:30And you've got a tracker on?
29:32Yeah.
29:33But forgetting the telemetry is just such a stupid mistake.
29:37Forgetting the what?
29:38The telemetry.
29:38What's the telemetry?
29:40Well, if you don't understand or forget it, it's a huge mistake, Jane.
29:44You don't know what it is, either.
29:46It's not important.
29:47This is what Gareth says.
29:48If he gets into a certain area and his tags come off, I might never find him again.
29:55It's a bloody hunt for looking after a pangolin, though, isn't it?
29:58Oh, yeah.
30:03It's just clocked in.
30:04Oh, hang on.
30:05Oh, it's clocked in.
30:07Good to go.
30:11Here we go.
30:12What if he runs them over?
30:13That'll be the next thing.
30:17Where is he, then?
30:19He might have just needed a breather for a mule.
30:20Yeah, he did.
30:21There he is.
30:30Look at him.
30:31Look at him there, living his best life, digging in the muck.
30:35And I think it was in that moment, it was kind of like, he's got this.
30:41Exactly.
30:42You were worrying about no, Gareth.
30:44Oh, wait.
30:45Is Gareth letting it go?
30:46No.
30:46I think he needs to.
30:47No.
30:48He doesn't need me being this helicopter parent, watching over him.
30:53I think the pangolin needs some of his own time.
30:56I think Gareth is a bit suffocating.
30:58Gareth needs to give him some space.
31:01He reminds us of me dad.
31:04Gareth looked out there.
31:06To be a walker for a pangolin, that's very special, isn't it?
31:09Yeah, it's really hard work.
31:11I want something like, I don't know, a slug.
31:14A slug walker?
31:15You step on it within a second.
31:17No, be careful.
31:18In Leeds.
31:22You know, I've been sorting garage.
31:24Yeah.
31:25I found my prom dress.
31:26No way.
31:28Oh, my God.
31:31That's so funny.
31:32See if you can zip it up.
31:34Sisters Eilid and Izzy.
31:36No, Izzy, it's going to break.
31:37No.
31:38No, I can't.
31:39No, please, do it up.
31:41Well, pull it above your ass and then pull it down.
31:45And then pull it down, yeah.
31:47Maybe I need my T-shirt off.
31:49That's as far as it'll go up there.
31:52Are we?
31:53There we go.
31:54Have you done it all the way up?
31:55Done it all the way up, yeah.
31:55Let's see if we can get it back over my bum.
31:57Oh, my God.
32:04Oh, my God.
32:05On Friday, a selection of election results were making the headlines on ITV.
32:10I didn't vote in there.
32:11I couldn't find my voting card.
32:13Oh, I left it out to you.
32:14Did you vote it out?
32:15No.
32:16I didn't even know it was on.
32:17Me neither.
32:18I was driving around and I was thinking, why does it say polling station everywhere?
32:21This is ITV News at 10 with Julie Ettingham.
32:26Good evening, Julie Ettingham.
32:29Looks like she's caught Sun on her chest, don't she?
32:31She does.
32:32She must have been in that garden this week.
32:34Reform UK has tonight been celebrating a monumental set of results in local elections.
32:40I mean, this is massive, this way, isn't it?
32:41I mean, they have got loads of seats all over the country, though, aren't they?
32:45Which could herald a fundamental change in the political map.
32:49I'm not surprised, but still, there's still nerve-wracking times, are there?
32:52People that are voting for reform are stamping their feet and saying, I've had enough of
32:58those two.
32:58That's what they're doing.
33:00Nigel Farage's insurgents are now in power in a string of councils and mayoralties after
33:05virtually wiping out the Conservative vote.
33:08That is crazy!
33:09The main opposition now to Labour is no longer Conservative, it's reform.
33:15You see?
33:16But they weren't the only ones feeling the pain.
33:18Labour also endured a torrid time at the hands of reform.
33:22I can understand, to some extent, Tory losing, but Labour, they've not even had a year yet.
33:27Yeah, winter fuel, innit?
33:28I think that that just knocks people the wrong way.
33:31Maybe it's a kick up the behind that Labour need to think people aren't happy with us.
33:36We've got to sort ourselves out.
33:39We know that what happened overnight is the first step to us going on and making history
33:45by winning the general election of 2029.
33:50You're not going to win the election.
33:51Don't, don't, because it could happen.
33:53We've seen the bollocks that's happened.
33:55I know some of the things he says, and there's a lot of sense to what he says, and then there's
33:59other things he says.
34:01I can't get my head through, but that applies to most politicians.
34:04It's all very well people hating Labour and Tory and voting reform to punish them.
34:09But what if reform has no plans?
34:12They're just, like, complaining in an articulate way.
34:15A glittering reform success.
34:17Former Tory minister Dame Andrea Jenkins wore the suit.
34:20Well, she's dressed in French, yeah.
34:21Fucking hell.
34:22French, yeah.
34:23She'll have to have her voyage after this.
34:27There's Benny and Bjorn.
34:29When she became reform's first mayor for Greater Lincolnshire.
34:33Former Tory, she is.
34:34You will see an end to soft-touch Britain.
34:37What does soft-touch Britain even mean?
34:39It's a vague sense.
34:40Kind to people.
34:41It's all this left, it's all this left woke nonsense, Harry.
34:44That's what's happened happening.
34:45I say no to putting people in hotels.
34:48Tents are good enough for friends.
34:50They should be good enough for here in Britain.
34:52That is bad.
34:54Did you just hear that?
34:55Did she honestly just say that?
34:57You know what?
34:58And if you feel okay with Putin for that.
35:04Reformers proved it could win elections, but will they still be partying after they've had
35:08a go at collecting bins, filling in potholes, and actually running things?
35:13I actually just really just couldn't give a toss.
35:16I don't really care as much.
35:19Well, that's good news.
35:20A man doing politics A-level doesn't give a toss.
35:23Doesn't give a toss.
35:24Brilliant.
35:25Well, everyone's depressed.
35:26Oh, I'm not.
35:27No, but a lot of the population is depressed.
35:30My spinach, Mary, that we had last night.
35:33Yeah, that was life-giving.
35:34That fucked us up, didn't it?
35:36Yeah, it did.
35:38What's with the white eggs?
35:47My supermarket have moved from brown eggs to pure white eggs.
35:52They said 80s.
35:54There are none brown in bed.
35:56And if they ask the person, they might think,
35:59You're racist.
36:02I don't know why.
36:04Why?
36:05Reform councils in it.
36:06On Friday, there was more morning chitter-chatter on ITV.
36:13Hi, Hugh.
36:14Come here, darling.
36:15Are you going to watch some telly?
36:16We can have chocolate with a record, can't we?
36:18Oh, yeah.
36:18I'm sure I bought that for the kids, that one.
36:21Yeah, yeah.
36:21Deep enough.
36:21Didn't it have for extra thick?
36:23Of course.
36:26Estimoliana, Padreau.
36:28Whatever that is.
36:29It's this morning Spanish.
36:30It's always a time waster this morning, isn't it?
36:33We're a nation of crisp lovers, aren't we?
36:36Ever.
36:37You like crisps, don't you?
36:38Who doesn't not like crisps, Hugh?
36:41I like crisps.
36:42I love crisps.
36:44I think hula hoops are nicer.
36:46Hula hoops?
36:47Hula hoops.
36:48Nothing goes better than a pack of crisps from a glass of wine.
36:50Really?
36:50Oh, yeah, you can't be a crisp and wine, can you?
36:54So here to tell us is the ultimate crisp and wine pairings expert.
36:57There's a crisp and wine pairing expert.
36:59I want that job.
37:00Crisp sommelier, Neil Ridley.
37:02Pardon?
37:02You're a crisp sommelier.
37:04You wouldn't have thought that a crisp and wine sommelier would be called Neil.
37:09One of the key pairings for the book here, this is a Chardonnay with some wonderful ham crisps.
37:16Ooh.
37:16Yeah.
37:17Ooh.
37:19Ham and them.
37:19They're good.
37:21Them are M&S.
37:22Tory crisps, but they're nice.
37:23Have a little sip of the wine as well.
37:25This Chardonnay, this is a big, buttery, zesty chardonnay.
37:28Ooh, buttery, zesty.
37:29I like them words, buttery, zesty.
37:32I wouldn't know if I drank a Chardonnay or not, because it all takes the same, doesn't it,
37:35that stuff?
37:36I'd rather have a brandy and coke with a packet of smoky bacon.
37:39Whatever floats your boat, apparently.
37:41If you can get a pair of these, this is Vina Verde.
37:44It's a Portuguese grape.
37:47Very fresh, very light.
37:48It's those chip sticks.
37:49Oh, I love a salt.
37:51We have some in there.
37:53Chip sticks.
37:53Oh, my God.
37:56I'll be serious.
37:56They do not pair with anything.
37:59It works really well with seafood, with crisp salads.
38:02She's dunking.
38:03What are you doing, Alison?
38:05Oh, hang on.
38:06She's dipping that in the wine.
38:07Alison's just used our wine as a dip.
38:09Chip sticks have a lot of crumbs on them.
38:12Actually, really nice.
38:13Yeah.
38:13It actually totally works.
38:15It's not a biscuit in a cup of tea, is it?
38:17Not worse than a soggy crisp, is there?
38:19It's like some people dip the chips in the McFlurry.
38:22I just don't get it.
38:23What?
38:23We're going over to a nice red wine.
38:25Yeah, we're getting a bit more serious in flavour, a bit bolder now.
38:28This is what we're into.
38:30Right.
38:30Red wine.
38:31Oh, we're getting deep in here.
38:32You love it, didn't you?
38:34We've got a Pinot Noir from New Zealand here.
38:37Oh, those truffle crisps are so nice.
38:38I can taste them in my face now.
38:39I feel like I want some right now.
38:41My mouth is watering.
38:42I'm actually salivating.
38:43This is the Michelin star of Christie's, Taurus truffle crisps.
38:47£4.50?
38:49Oh, my God.
38:51Dealer than the bottle of wine.
38:52Honestly, if I was giving £4.50 a bag, they'd be going in our display cabinet.
38:57It's worth it.
38:57£4.50, that is expensive, isn't it?
38:59I know, but it's worth it for what you're going to get.
39:01You don't have to eat them all in one sitting.
39:02They'll last you three days if you've got some self-control.
39:05I don't.
39:06I don't eat them.
39:07Our final pairing, we're going to have some fierce, a little bit of joy every day.
39:10Oh, I love this, isn't it?
39:12Oh!
39:12Oh, I love Skips.
39:14Oh!
39:15Who'd have thought Skips would have made it onto the podium?
39:18Huh?
39:19I know, I love Skips.
39:19An absolute childhood classic here.
39:21Melting them out.
39:22I'd be after the Skips.
39:23When I got to this point, I'd say, give me the Skips.
39:25The wine can move that way.
39:27Skips, come with me.
39:28I'd quite like it.
39:30I'd like him to find me a wine that goes with pork scratchings.
39:33I just love pork scratchings.
39:35I tell you what, so I'll whang me that.
39:37Four bottles.
39:37I feel like you went to the gym just to prowl.
39:45What?
39:46No, I didn't.
39:46No, you didn't.
39:47No, I didn't.
39:49Sisters, Amira and Imani.
39:51Is that why you'd be like, what the hell?
39:54No, I'm never.
39:55You're still making shit off.
39:57And that's me going, like, you're supposed to work hard, not try and look cute whilst working
40:05out.
40:07You actually take the piss, I never did that.
40:10Yes, you did.
40:12No, I didn't.
40:14On Saturday night, Emma Thompson was on a voyage of discovery on Channel 4.
40:21Well, we've got a little film to watch tonight, Abs.
40:24And don't be falling asleep, Jenny.
40:25Please.
40:26No, no, I don't, don't I?
40:27Do you know Emma Thompson walks her dog in their park?
40:31Really?
40:31Yes.
40:35Is this Emma in a hotel room?
40:40Everything is everything.
40:42A stiff drink, I bet that's for in the miniature mart.
40:45It'd be about 15 quid for one of those miniatures.
40:50You don't sort of that, don't it?
40:52You know Emma, you look a bit funny.
40:53You look a bit like me.
40:55I'm not going to say that.
40:55I look like that.
40:56I'm not going to say that.
40:59Knocking at a hotel door, she's got room service.
41:06Oh, is it?
41:08I wouldn't mind knocking on my door.
41:12Good luck to you, Leo Grandy.
41:17Do you think he's Leo Grandy?
41:19100%.
41:20Oh, I'm Leo, you must be Nancy.
41:24Younger boy, older lady.
41:26I'm reading between the lines here.
41:28I think this might be a transaction.
41:32Right, kiss you on the cheek.
41:34Oh, sorry, what?
41:35Guess.
41:36That would be fine.
41:37Is it Nancy?
41:43I don't know.
41:44I'm wondering if she's hired him as like an escort or something.
41:48Oh.
41:49Hey, Nancy.
41:50Yes?
41:50You're going to have a great time.
41:52Okay.
41:53Is it Nancy?
41:54Are you that?
41:55She's definitely paying him.
41:58It's a jigger last.
41:59Lash me or less, Scott.
42:01I hope that you received the contractual payment.
42:06All the money.
42:07The money, yes.
42:07Sorry, I didn't want to be crass.
42:08I just said.
42:09What is going on?
42:10I don't know.
42:11It's all very weird.
42:12I mean, why is she so nervous if she's paid?
42:15I know, yeah.
42:15You know, I can get your money's worth.
42:17If I've paid, you know, I'd be all over him like a rash.
42:20You know.
42:20From the moment he walks in.
42:22He'd be earning his money, I'll put it that way.
42:24So what is your fantasy?
42:28I want to lick you from your head to your toes.
42:32I want to move from the bed down to the floor.
42:37I'm not sure you could really class it as a fantasy as such.
42:41It's a bit mundane for that.
42:42Okay, well, what would you most desire?
42:45I mean, desires are never mundane.
42:47He's got the lingo, isn't he?
42:48I'm definitely going to use that.
42:49I'm fluttering a little bit.
42:53I wouldn't even know what to answer if somebody asked me that question.
42:56You might say, you're going to lick you, you're going to lick me.
42:59I will have never even thought about it.
43:02Many desires.
43:07To have sex?
43:09What?
43:09Yeah.
43:10Oh, that's disgusting.
43:11Yeah.
43:12I am on board, yeah?
43:14Anything else?
43:15I need to tell...
43:16Well, actually, I'd like to tell you something.
43:18Right, what?
43:19Do you share?
43:20I've never had an orgasm.
43:21What?
43:22What's an orgasm?
43:24Whatever it is, I don't think women have them, do they?
43:32And I don't want you to feel bad about it, because I won't be faking it.
43:35I don't do that, not anymore.
43:37I made a decision after my husband died never to fake an orgasm again.
43:40We've all done it, eh, man?
43:43We have.
43:43Have you faked it before yet?
43:44Yeah, yes.
43:45Oh, why do you want to go...
43:47Especially when I'm getting up early in the morning, I think, oh, bloody hell, hurry up.
43:52And this is your first?
43:54Encounter.
43:55Since then, yes.
43:56In fact, if we do this, you will only be the second man I have ever had sex with in my entire life.
44:02Oh, Jesus.
44:03Ah, it's only two minutes.
44:07You were just...
44:08Ah, meeting two.
44:15Oh, well, she looks a lot more perky now.
44:17She's wearing a lighter shade of beige.
44:19Exactly.
44:20Oh, well.
44:24Hello.
44:24Hello again.
44:25Oh, hello again.
44:26I quite like him.
44:28What escort service does he work for?
44:30I want his number.
44:31I, um, got a little bit of feedback and a couple of attainment goals for this time.
44:35Right, I see.
44:36Oh, God!
44:39I love her.
44:43She is my soul sister.
44:44My God.
44:46Don't love me.
44:47I'm a teacher.
44:48Don't have it to die hard.
44:49What's the first thing on the list?
44:51A list!
44:53Number one, I perform oral sex on you.
44:56Okay.
44:56We'll check next to that one if you want.
44:58Check.
44:59Number two, you perform oral sex on me.
45:02Excellent.
45:03Oh, yeah.
45:03Number three, we do a 69.
45:06Oh, wow.
45:07Shh.
45:09As Auntie Margaret had said, dinner for two.
45:12Wine dined and 69'd.
45:14Four, me on top.
45:15Five, doggy style.
45:17Right.
45:18What?
45:19What?
45:19That's a normal life.
45:20You and it, Twain.
45:21Good.
45:22Can I lie?
45:24You want to do it all today?
45:28I think that's just a normal session, all that.
45:31Oh, fuck off, Jenny.
45:32Are you with you?
45:34All right, then.
45:35Oh, my God.
45:36That's good.
45:37Good.
45:38You want to start with the blowjob?
45:40Crack on, then.
45:41The blowjob.
45:41You say, I wonder how much he is.
45:50500 quid.
45:52How much is he?
45:53I don't know.
45:54Look up, Siri.
45:55I can't turn my phone off.
45:57Oh.
45:58Well, I'll ring up now.
46:00Don't.
46:00Who would you ring?
46:02Mail escort.
46:03You didn't have the number, Tavi.
46:05All right, guys.
46:06So...
46:06You're...
46:06You're...
46:07You're...
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