Poker Face Season 1 Episode 3
#CrimeTVShowUSA
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00:00I don't know.
00:30George.
00:49George.
00:54I'm a murderer.
00:56Look, look, I'm not yanking your chain, okay? Matter of fact,
01:00I just closed on a massive beef rub deal. I got a licensing deal with McCormick.
01:04All we need is a few John Hancocks, and the green will start rolling in.
01:08God damn it, Taffy. Do you know who you borrowed from? These are Dallas people.
01:12They'd send someone down to deal with you, but they're gonna deal with you.
01:15I got another call coming in, but hear me out. Just tell them everything's gonna be okay,
01:20and it's just, it's all an escrow, man. All right, I'll talk to you. Bye.
01:26Taffy Boyle speaking.
01:27Oh, hi, uh, this is Michael Larson from Fort Arthur Bank and Trust,
01:30and I just wanted to go over some things.
01:38Jamie, how's your ma doing?
01:48Oh, her back's not so good.
01:49Oh, shucks, you know, so I'm gonna give her a shout-out on the show tonight.
01:52Better make her weak, Taff.
01:54Sheriff, you better have a warrant to where you're harassing that meat right there.
01:58Risk is so good, it ought to be illegal.
02:00Look here, everybody.
02:03Don't forget to floss.
02:05And remember what we like to say.
02:07You know what our slogan is.
02:08We'll put the meat in between your teeth,
02:10but you gonna get it out.
02:12Where have you been?
02:19Come on, Mandy.
02:20Look, I'm not a teleporter.
02:21I got here as soon as I can.
02:23You need to talk to your brother.
02:25He's just been standing in the meat locker like some kind of ghost.
02:28He's your husband.
02:29You know how he gets.
02:30What's the problem, man?
02:31With the new kid, he used hickory instead of applewood?
02:33This is different, Taffy.
02:35I've never seen him like this.
02:37Hey, George.
02:47We have built a temple of carnage.
02:52You bet your ass, brother, we have.
02:55Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
02:58Look here, George.
03:00When we're done with this beef rub deal,
03:02how about you and Mandy take a vacation,
03:05go to the golf and celebrate?
03:06It'll be your second honeymoon.
03:07Matter of fact, here, I got the contract right here.
03:09We can get everything done.
03:10I don't need a vacation.
03:12I need out.
03:15You need out of what?
03:16Out of all of it.
03:18The restaurant, the beef rub deal,
03:20the self-perpetuating cycle of endless cruelty.
03:22I'm going vegan, Taffy.
03:26You're going vegan?
03:29I no longer want to participate in the sale of animal products.
03:32Okay, George, you're a renowned pit master.
03:36Your whole dang life has been animal products.
03:38Which is why this is hard for me.
03:40I'd like to take my half of the business
03:42and begin the next phase of my journey.
03:45Come on, man.
03:46You know I can't buy you out.
03:48I don't save like you.
03:49I already spoke to J.J. Ruskin in town,
03:51and he can take a look at our books.
03:53He'll give us a fair shake.
03:54What the fuck do J.J. Ruskin know about our books?
03:57Huh?
03:57Why the fuck are you talking to?
03:59He don't know.
03:59Look here, let me tell you something.
04:00I do my books a special way.
04:02It's only a certain way I can understand.
04:03J.J. Ruskin is not going to understand
04:04how I do my fucking books.
04:05Hey, we're going to figure this out.
04:07All right?
04:07Don't worry.
04:09But this is happening.
04:10Mandy, I feel like everything's closing in, you know?
04:33I don't know what to do.
04:34I don't know.
05:04I don't know what to do.
05:05I don't know what to do.
05:06I don't know what to do.
05:07I don't know what to do.
05:07I don't know.
05:26Now, look here.
05:26Y'all know I love to run my mouth.
05:29But you have to know that my brother, George,
05:31is the real genius.
05:33That's right, he could take a piece of me
05:35and make it into something divine.
05:38And you know what makes George
05:39so good at what he do?
05:41It's how much he cares about
05:43the details.
05:51Now look, I thought I'd come by one last time
05:54to see if I can convince you
05:56to change your mind.
05:57Hmm?
06:01You sure?
06:03I'm sure.
06:07How about we do that?
06:08Let's, let's...
06:10Why don't we just sit here and enjoy
06:12this beautiful sunset?
06:20Hmm.
06:23Daddy's axe.
06:26Remember all those
06:27wood-splitting competitions you had?
06:30Hmm.
06:30Could not beat you once.
06:35I could not hold a candle
06:36to my brother George.
06:41Daddy damn sure made sure
06:42I knew that too.
06:46Well, what good's a mean brisket
06:48without butts in the benches?
06:51You and Mandy made this place.
06:53Came up with the radio show.
06:55Floss.
06:56People love the floss.
06:57Yeah, they do love that floss.
06:58They take it home and
06:59use it with their own food.
07:06We're really gonna miss you.
07:10I really am.
07:14You gonna be alright without me.
07:16I know.
07:22Hey, everybody.
07:24Why don't we give it up
07:24on my brother George?
07:25Why don't you try the vibration?
07:37It's number one in the nation.
07:42Kathy, what are you still doing here?
07:43You're on in five.
07:45I'm going.
07:45I'm going.
07:46Don't get your panties in the twist.
07:47You're on in five.
07:48Hey.
08:04She's all ready for you, Mr. Boyle.
08:06I appreciate that.
08:07All of a sudden,
08:07give you a little something for you.
08:10Enjoy that.
08:11Hey, there.
08:17Come on.
08:18Belgrade.
08:18Hmm?
08:19Piling.
08:20Carpage.
08:21Nacidosis.
08:22And any other straggler
08:23that's tuning in.
08:24You know what it is.
08:25It's your source for everything barbecue.
08:28B-B-Q-N-A.
08:30And I'm your favorite host.
08:34Taffy Boyle.
08:36That's enough about me.
08:37I want to hear from you.
08:39Call you on the line.
08:40Got some happy customers here, Taff.
08:43Say hi, everyone.
08:46Hi, everyone.
08:48Hello, everyone.
08:49Back to you.
08:50Now, look.
08:51That voice sounded really familiar to me.
08:53Is that who I think it is?
08:55My sister-in-law, Mandy Boyle.
08:56Hey, Mandy.
08:57Why don't you do me a favor
08:58to kick off the show with the first question?
09:00What you eating there, Luce?
09:02Best damn hot links in the state.
09:04Ooh.
09:05Best damn hot links in the state.
09:08You know something?
09:08One of my favorite things at Boyle Barbecue
09:11is the hot links.
09:13And that's what this show should be about.
09:14So I think tonight we ought to talk about
09:16how the sausage gets made.
09:18And I mean it literally.
09:22Now, you guys know I love to run my mouth.
09:26But you have to know that my brother George
09:28is the real genius.
09:30That's right.
09:30He can take a piece of meat
09:31and make it into something divine.
09:33And you know what makes George so good
09:36at what he do
09:36is how much he cares about the details.
09:41We used to buy our hot links
09:42from a farm that shall go unnamed.
09:45But my brother George had a problem
09:46with the texture of the casing.
09:48He said to me,
09:48Taffy, from now on,
09:50we're sourcing our own intentions
09:51with the brand new sector of the house
09:53and what George sets his mind on something
09:55is well very good.
09:57We probably wanted to drive
09:59half their coffee stage
10:00to buy a perfect contestant.
10:02A census item of the house
10:04that's why she will run the door for you
10:06both call fair.
10:07The intensive cases,
10:09they're thinking about the meat inside.
10:11That's a mistake.
10:12The intensive is like a beautiful ship
10:14that brings the meat to the journey.
10:17You don't have a real ship
10:19and you don't have a real ship.
10:49You don't have a real ship.
10:56We need a fort shoulder,
10:58or three of the fort
10:59and our world famous house.
11:17George will tell you
11:18That's a great size. It's really starting to happen here.
11:22When you're moving, flash it.
11:35When you're looking out, you want to make sure...
11:47Shit.
11:48I'm not a kid, I'm not a kid.
11:50I'm not a kid.
11:51Look, this is what George said.
11:53He's a kid.
11:54He's a kid.
11:55Hey, son.
11:56If you tell him that he's a kid,
11:58I'm not a kid, I'm not a kid.
12:01I'm not a kid.
12:08Real gentle, real gentle,
12:11so they never see it coming.
12:13There he is.
12:14Hey, where the fuck you come from?
12:18Oh.
12:19Oh.
12:20I'm a kid.
12:21I'm not a kid.
12:22My kid's been here.
12:23I'm not a kid.
12:25I don't care about you.
12:26I don't care about you.
12:27I don't care about you.
12:29I don't care about you.
12:31I'll do it.
13:01I bet that's why folks like yourselves keep coming back again and again.
13:06At Boyles, we do everything we can to make sure every last bite is damn near perfection.
13:11And I want y'all to know we're mighty grateful to you.
13:14Well, I hope that answers your question, but I'm going on about hot links for long enough.
13:23All right. I think it's about time we take another call.
13:27How do you feel about that?
13:31I think it's time that we take another call.
13:38Okay, how about that?
13:42Oh, here we go.
13:43Taffy boil.
13:45Nobody should know that much about sausages.
13:49Oh, come on. Is that you again, Mandy?
13:52You got to give somebody else an opportunity to talk. Come on now.
13:56Well, I just had to call in and tell you what a damn windbag you are.
14:01Oh, now I'm a windbag. I really love that, huh?
14:06Let me tell you something.
14:08I'll let you know now.
14:09I thought that was a lie.
14:10We got plenty or more to show where that came from.
14:12So you better buckle up, little lady.
14:14We're buckled up, Taffy.
14:16No more long rants about sausages.
14:18Another great show, Taffy.
14:33It's all about the details, my friend.
14:35All about the details.
14:36I don't know.
15:02uh hey hi how are you doing hi your dog is in my car uh we don't have a dog or a gas station
15:32okay go on disperse
15:55oh jesus
16:02out let's go out the car out the car this is a fun bit but how it's time to go go oh geez you're so
16:13strong what's wrong with you oh jeez oh wow look at this yummy yummy pork kinds all doggies like that
16:24come on a little hansel and gretel
16:30you know what a little company might be nice
16:37i'm having some hard regrets ra my hospitality
16:54oh jesus okay you know what i want some music yeah tim the savage or whatever
17:05oh
17:11oh
17:13did you know 85 percent of mexicans have criminal records they're erasing us folks us real americans
17:22the right
17:24every day the wall goes unfinished this is what you want to listen to
17:28rapists arrive on our hollowed soil well
17:32maggot dog perfect
17:34perfect
17:38listen carefully the truth trains
17:42and there she blows every hour on the quarter here at the deep state dispatch
17:47oh my god i'm snapping okay this is me snapping i am snapping right here
17:55you racist homophobic anti-semitic flatulence
18:00bad dog bad dog
18:03yeah i said it
18:06oh now you want to get out oh okay you bet you're goose-stepping fascist dog
18:12oh
18:24very good go build the wall you jackboot piece of
18:27shit
18:41hey hey hey hey you is that your dog uh no okay i just saw you later now what you mean no
18:47that dog has eight three hundred dollars worth of food and you're gonna pay for it it was a couple
18:51of sausages where do you get that man look here we got a problem i'll go tell the sheriff he's right
18:55at table five there is no need to jump to extremes i just uh
19:00i typically don't carry around that kind of cash
19:04how much would you say a spare tire is worth what's the problem here
19:08the problem is is that her little manger mutt has ate half a steer
19:12okay look that dog is an asshole there's no daylight between us on that i just
19:20i'm kind of broke and uh i could really use a break
19:23we could always use an extra hand in the pit
19:27george okay we're not hiring some vagabond come on what do you say huh
19:32work a shift we call it square if you like it you stay on
19:38barbecue means many things around the world but in texas it means beef and we like to keep things
19:44simple meat salt pepper and the fourth ingredient wood now our main smokers use a blend of hickory
19:55apple mesquite and cherry
20:01which one is this
20:02george i got no idea good barbecue is like a symphony playing on all five senses and a skilled
20:14conductor can pick out each and every note when in doubt try tasting it you're adorable
20:21the reason brisket needs eight hours is because of the stall what's the stall
20:30the first hour or two the temperature is steadily increase until you reach about 160 then you can get
20:35stuck there for about four five even six hours see the stall is where uh kind of alchemy takes place
20:44you pull it at 210 let it rest for an hour and always slice against the grain
20:57now you see that look on your face right there that's what it's all about
21:00so what's up with all the floss it's everywhere half is big innovation our trademark quirk i think
21:15it's great bullshit okay i hate it we do all this and we leave our customers with a putrid chemical
21:24cinnamon it's a air horn at the symphony meat poet look at you these animals give their lives
21:35and i believe in honoring their sacrifice by using every last part of them
21:41are those uh dicks tongue is my absolute favorite thing that we make here i use pecan just for this
21:54one of the things that we make here we make here we make here we make here we make here
21:58an unusual wood
22:04hey that smells different mm-hmm
22:12does mandy ever stay up here with you hmm she prefers the house in town let's get boring
22:18no alone at night i do my best thinking i can hear what the universe is trying to tell you
22:29yeah sounds boring you're a movie guy all right you like animals right so let's see we got babe
22:37also charlotte's web and we got opja uh i've only seen the first half of that one but it's pretty cute so
22:43so far uh oh and there's
22:57so
23:11so
23:21George
23:33Oh, I'm a murderer
23:46So I just said it
23:48Tappy, I'm out
23:50So I'm out
23:52Wow
23:55Good for you
23:57You know, it took guts to do that
23:59And for what it's worth, I don't think you're a murderer
24:02I think you're a good person
24:04You, uh
24:07You live on the road, right?
24:10Uh, yeah
24:12Yeah, I guess I do
24:13So what's it like?
24:18Leave everything behind
24:20Start fresh
24:22Well, it's, uh
24:23It's easy
24:25Too easy, maybe
24:27A life of fresh starts
24:29But it suits me
24:32And yeah, and you get to meet
24:34All sorts of people
24:36All sorts of lives
24:38All sorts of lives
24:39All sorts of lives
24:39Lives, but
24:40You know, sometimes I just
24:42I take a map
24:43I pick a spot
24:45And I head there
24:46So what are you gonna do?
24:50I have no idea
24:51And that should scare me
24:53When it don't
24:54One thing I do know
24:57Charlie!
25:01Where'd you go?
25:03I guess I kind of work here
25:04Well, I should probably go
25:06But, uh, what's the one thing you know?
25:09Don't leave me hanging
25:09Charlie!
25:12Gone, I'll tell you later
25:13Uh-huh
25:14Hold you too bad
25:15Hope things don't get too hectic in the pit without me
25:19Oh, come on
25:21If I had three whole days of training
25:22I'm practically a pro
25:24Hot, hot, hot
25:27Holy hell
25:27Hot, hot
25:29I know we have fire gloves
25:30What?
25:32Oh, God, great
25:33Okay, your timing is just
25:34Chef's kiss, Beto
25:35Another great show
25:49Oh, Taffy
25:49It's all about the details, my friend
25:51All about the details
25:53How'd it go?
26:11Fine
26:12Beto, I can't find the paprika
26:20Can you go ask George where it is?
26:26It's
26:27You know, I know it's hard to move forward
26:56Um, from a tragedy like this
26:58But, uh
26:59Me and Mandy discussed this
27:01And
27:01We think the best way to honor my brother George's memory is, um
27:06Is by keeping Boyle's barbecue going strong
27:10This place here brings people together
27:13Put smiles on their faces
27:15Meat in their bellies
27:16I know that's what my brother George
27:17I noticed what he would have wanted
27:20Bullshit
27:22Sure
27:24Appreciate you
27:25Uh, hey, uh
27:30I think I'm gonna hit the road
27:33You gonna be alright in the kitchen without me?
27:37It'll probably be easier
27:38I appreciate the honesty
27:40Yeah, I-I know he was going through some heavy stuff
27:46But
27:47He seemed
27:48I don't know
27:50Happy
27:51I don't think that's so unusual
27:53Once people have made up their minds
27:55You think it could have been an accident?
27:58No, the sheriff confirmed it was a suicide
28:00He shut all the windows
28:02He locked it from the inside
28:03I had to force the door open myself
28:06George knew what he was doing
28:09All right, well
28:13Hey, um
28:16If you see that fascist dog
28:18Tell him he's a real asshole for me
28:21And again, very happy to be in business with you
28:30But we could have waited to finish the signing
28:33We know you're in Morgan
28:35Look, look, look here
28:36We appreciate your condolences
28:38But as you know
28:39More than anything
28:40My brother George cared about sharing his signature beef rub
28:43With the world
28:44Taffy and I just
28:46Really feel it's important to make his dreams a reality
28:49This last one is just a natural
28:51Welcome to the Knitting Circle
28:58It's me, Kathy Jay
29:00Today I'll be debating the merits of Diamond Honeycomb Stitch
29:04With a very special guest
29:06My dear friend
29:07My dear friend, Meryl Beauregard
29:09You poor dumb little turd
29:29Ow, asshole
29:34He'll be fine after a few days rest
29:43I mean, what kind of a person runs a dog over and then just leaves it there
29:48Oh, he wasn't run over
29:49Someone beat him with a piece of wood
29:51What's that now?
29:53Yeah, it was brutal
29:54I extracted those from his head wound
29:57I'm also not certain this dog is entirely dog
30:01It could be up to 25% jackal
30:03Oh, behaviorally
30:05That tracks
30:06You can tell by the teeth
30:08One was ripped out recently
30:10That's what first drew my attention to this
30:13What the fuck are you doing?
30:14I thought you was leaving
30:36Oh, I am, yeah
30:38Just, uh, doing a wood thing
30:41Because, uh, dog justice
30:43Well, you don't care
30:44Oh, you don't care
30:44Oh, you don't care
32:02We are done. Dallas guys are paying. It is over.
32:09No more bridge loan shit.
32:11Yes, I'm in agreement.
32:13There's gonna be some changes around here.
32:15Okay, change is good, change is healthy.
32:18From now on, I'm handling the finances.
32:21But we done what had to be done, right?
32:25Okay. Now we can move on with our lives.
32:31Yeah. Mandy, you thought of everything.
32:33We should get back out there.
32:43I don't like that show.
32:44Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out, like, where was he, you know?
32:56When was the last time you saw it?
32:57Hey, Charlie, uh, what are you doing here? Didn't you quit?
33:00Oh, yeah, I did. Uh, I'm just trying to figure out, uh, when was the last time you saw that fascist asshole dog?
33:09Okay, um, how about we talk in my office?
33:13All right. What are you doing here, Charlie?
33:15Oh, uh, you know, I, I, I think there's been a murder.
33:20Murder?
33:21Well, you know, not a murder, but an attempted murder.
33:25So I, I think someone tried to kill that little shithead dog.
33:30A dog?
33:33You do know my brother just died, right?
33:35Oh, no, I know, and I, I'm very sorry.
33:37Uh, I, I'm just, I'm trying to figure out what happened.
33:40Um, so someone beat it with a log over by your brother's trailer, which, uh, I mean, I get it.
33:47That thing can be a real dick.
33:48But then they moved it.
33:51I mean, that's weird, right?
33:52What do you mean they moved it?
33:54Well, because of the pecan.
33:55The pe what?
33:56The pecan wood.
33:58I could hear when I tasted.
34:02There were traces of pecan wood in the dogwoods.
34:07And that means the murder weapon came from...
34:11Okay, when did you become CSI?
34:14Look, it's just a dead dog in Texas.
34:16That's it.
34:17Well, I mean, it's not just them.
34:21You got two kind of mysterious incidents in very close proximity to each other.
34:27My brother's death is not mysterious.
34:30It's tragic.
34:31Oh, yeah, but now that we're talking it through, uh, I think maybe the dog saw something related
34:43to your brother's death.
34:44Like what?
34:45Like, I don't know, uh, malfeasance.
34:49Malfeasance?
34:50Something that someone didn't want it to see, and they felt that the dog had to be silenced.
34:57I mean, you do know dogs can't talk, right?
35:00Well, nobody's saying dogs can talk.
35:02So what are you saying, Charlie?
35:06Well, he said he'd tell me later.
35:11The last time George and I talked, he said he'd tell me something later, and he believed it.
35:18And that means, you know, he thought he'd be alive at the end of the night.
35:22Look, look, we're all taking this really hard, Charlie.
35:28Do you know I would give all of this up to have my brother back?
35:34Bullshit.
35:38Sorry.
35:39Sorry.
35:39You know what I think?
35:49I think you need to get the fuck out of town and don't show your face around here again.
35:57Because in Texas, no matter if you're K-9 or other, we do not smile kindly on trespassers.
36:07Is that purely decorative?
36:12Not entirely, no.
36:13Well, yeah, I know, but he basically said he'd shoot me if I go back there.
36:32Look, you might be right, but we don't have any proof.
36:35I don't know, I just say we move on, first start, you know, put all this behind us.
36:44Avenge you?
36:44I don't even like you.
36:58Fine, listen, you gotta stay here.
37:00Remember, you're a wanted bitch.
37:02I'm just, all right, I'll put on the sicko.
37:06I don't know about you, but what I do in the bathroom definitely ain't gender neutral.
37:13Just don't bark.
37:32I don't know about you, but what I do in the bathroom, I don't know about you, but what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I do in the bathroom, what I
38:02I'm so sorry, Taffy.
38:11I'm so sorry.
38:32An arrow horn at the symphony.
39:02I'm so sorry, Taffy.
39:32I'm so sorry, Taffy.
40:02I'm so sorry.
40:04I'm so sorry, Taffy.
40:08Now, you might say that's impossible.
40:11The door was locked from the inside, but that's where the cinnamon floss comes into play.
40:16Right.
40:17Cinnamon floss.
40:18I guess I'm not over the part where you're a human lie detector.
40:23Yeah, I know.
40:23It's crazy, but...
40:25My favorite color is yellow.
40:28Bullshit.
40:29I grew up in Old Time Box.
40:31Bullshit.
40:31I grew up in Tanglewood.
40:32Wow.
40:36You ever gamble?
40:39Because you can make a killing.
40:43Nah.
40:46I loved my husband.
40:49How about that one?
40:54Out of my purview.
40:55I loved how much he loved what he did.
41:01And then one day he wakes up and decides he hates the thing that he devoted his life to.
41:06He thinks it's murder.
41:07Well, I can only imagine that.
41:12I still don't believe he wanted to die.
41:18Malfeasance, you said.
41:20Yeah.
41:21I think so.
41:27Well.
41:28I mean, Taffy's got a solid alibi.
41:30Ah, we all heard him on the radio.
41:39These Chinese sonar attacks have caused a 30% increase in homosexuality amongst our teens.
41:45Their beams are able to traverse vast distances...
41:48Oh, my God. Bullshit.
41:50Unholy desires.
41:53And I'm gonna tell you how to protect yourself from these sonar attacks,
41:57but, uh, up first, one of my favorite records,
41:59Fide Kilimanjaro by Miles Davis.
42:02Enjoy.
42:06Hey, uh, how can I help you?
42:08Hanky T. Pickens.
42:11Wait.
42:11All this?
42:12It's all a gang?
42:14I knew you didn't really believe any of this crap.
42:17Yeah, well, I also hate jazz, but, uh, that doesn't stop me from doing
42:20Midnight Cool with Dr. James.
42:23Oh, my God.
42:25The doctor is in the groove.
42:29Ooh.
42:30Yeah.
42:31Wow.
42:32Yeah, I-I have lagged a lot of miles listening to you, man.
42:36Uh, you're blowing my mind right now.
42:38What else do you do?
42:38The morning buzz with Jimmy the Jerk!
42:40No.
42:41The knitting circle with Kathy J.
42:44Fucking Kathy.
42:45Y la poderosa super con Tije Sanchez.
42:49Oh, I-I'm not sure that one's cool to do anymore.
42:53Yeah, you know, I was a theater major in school, and there's a lot of hours to fill in here.
42:58Uh, you work at-at Boyles, right?
43:01Yeah, how'd you know that?
43:02You kind of smell like a fireplace.
43:04But not in a bad way.
43:07Yeah, I guess I, uh, came here to scope out, poke around, something.
43:12I don't know what I actually thought I'd find.
43:15Were you here for last night's BBQ and A?
43:17Sure, sure. Uh, Taffy brings me a brisket.
43:23Uh, did he leave at any point during the show?
43:28No, I was just sitting right out there the whole time, and he never came out.
43:32Can I ask you a weird favor?
43:34When were you gonna tell me you beat a dog within an inch of its life?
43:48Um, I wasn't.
43:53Well, now we got a big problem.
43:58Here you go. Whole BBQ hour from last night.
44:00Wow. Thanks for your help.
44:03Literally any time. I cannot overstate how bored I am.
44:11I-I think I know how he did it.
44:13Oh, Charlie.
44:15You scared me.
44:16So, I-I've been listening to last night's show, and there's this, uh, 16-minute stretch with no live calls, where Taffy's just going on about sausage, uh, so if he had pre-recorded that, well, he could have snuck out and killed George then.
44:32Wow, that's...
44:33I mean, that's crazy.
44:34But would that have been enough time?
44:37Well, actually, yes.
44:38I-I tested it.
44:43Gah!
44:44Fuck you, dog!
44:48Dog!
44:55The one piece I can't figure out is that in order to have pre-recorded that, he would have had to know that he was gonna get a question about hot links.
45:01He did.
45:04Oh, he did?
45:05He asked me to cue him.
45:07It's something we've done before when we're trying to move a particular cut of meat.
45:10Like, you just go up to someone who's eating it.
45:13Yeah.
45:14Wow.
45:14So, I mean, this is-this is some serious shit, Charlie.
45:18I mean, this is a murder accusation.
45:21Can you prove it?
45:22Prove it?
45:23Will the cop prove it, prove it?
45:25No, very much not.
45:27But, uh, but goddamn, I swear there's a piece missing, you know, just something that would tie the whole room together.
45:32It's-it's-it's right on the edge of my brain, just driving me nuts.
45:36Well, if you do find real proof, you come to me first.
45:40Okay?
45:40I'm-I'm taught with the sheriff, and we can go to him together.
45:45Good night, Charlie.
45:49Paprika?
45:49Paprika?
45:55Paprika?
45:55Yeah, it's just this stupid little thing that's been bugging me, because, uh, mostly when people lie, it's for some dumb who cares reason, which I'm sure this is.
46:06So, last night, in the kitchen, you said you didn't know where the paprika was, but you-you did know.
46:12So, why were you lying about the paprika?
46:20It was hectic.
46:21There was a lot going on, and I wanted Beto to find it.
46:27To find it?
46:32Right.
46:33Look, Charlie, I like you, and if Taffy really is who you say he is, then, well, he must be very dangerous.
46:46For your own safety, I think your best move is to hit the road, get a fresh start.
46:52I told you to be quiet.
47:05I mean, I-I'm trying to think.
47:08Oh, wait.
47:12There's no plenty.
47:21There's none, Polvo.
47:23But, he's funny.
47:25But what didyson do, we have to feel toasted thiså ´.
47:28Oh, is Roy?
47:29No.
47:29Hey.
47:40Hey, didn't I tell you not to show your face around here again?
47:43I know what you did, you shit-kicking psycho.
47:46Won't you do me a favor and just get out?
47:48Nope, because I got proof. Cop proof.
47:51Something you missed, and it's going to put you away.
47:54Oh, really?
47:55Well, at first, it was a lot of little things.
47:57Dog tooth in the ashes, cinnamon floss, George's beer.
48:01You know, I sniffed the bottle and it didn't smell like anything,
48:03and I thought, what are you doing, Charlie?
48:04You're not a poison sniffer.
48:06And anyway, you wouldn't use a poison that would show up in an autopsy.
48:09You'd use Ambien or something.
48:12But what does Ambien even smell like?
48:14But what's weird was, it really didn't smell like anything.
48:18And not even beer.
48:20See, someone had washed out the bottle.
48:22I mean, who washes out a bottle of beer?
48:25So, you think George was killed because somebody rinsed out a beer bottle?
48:30Well, then, there was your radio show.
48:33I listened to it over and over like I was Gene Hackman or something.
48:37Gene Hackman?
48:38I was looking for a sound.
48:39Something that would prove that you recorded it ahead of time,
48:43and I found nothing.
48:45Of course you didn't.
48:46But then I realized it wasn't a sound.
48:48It was the absence of a sound.
48:50Sort of like the beer, but for the ears.
48:53The truth train.
48:55You know, it goes by every hour on the quarter.
48:57You can hear it in all the other shows.
48:59You should have been able to hear it in last night's BBQ&A,
49:02but it's not there.
49:05Oh.
49:05So, let me get this tree.
49:28You think that I could be charged for murder
49:30because you didn't hear the sound of a train?
49:41Probably not.
49:43But that's when I found the real proof.
49:46The thing that's gonna put your ass away.
49:49Well, I'm gonna explain it to you in great detail right now.
49:53You see?
50:07Oh, oh.
50:08Look, she got us dead to rights.
50:11Taffy?
50:13What are you talking about?
50:14That nasty little blonde.
50:15She can prove we killed George.
50:18Well, okay.
50:20Calm down, Taffy.
50:21Tell me what happened.
50:22Call the sheriff, tell him everything.
50:23Maybe he'll cut us a deal.
50:25Taffy, do not.
50:27That is the last thing we should do.
50:29I'm scared, baby.
50:30I'm so scared.
50:31I can't go to prison.
50:35Well, maybe if you'd stuck to my plan
50:38and hadn't attacked that fucking dog,
50:39she wouldn't be on to us.
50:45Don't do anything.
50:47I'll be there in ten minutes.
50:49See you soon, sweetheart.
50:53Which seems inconsequential
50:56until you consider the atmospherics.
50:58The high yesterday was 72 degrees.
51:00Humidity, 84%.
51:01Wind, four miles per hour.
51:03From the east.
51:04Not an unusual set of conditions
51:07in and of themselves.
51:08But nothing exists in a vacuum.
51:11Consider.
51:12Do you know the smoke point of Hickory?
51:15No.
51:15570 degrees.
51:17That's 570 degrees.
51:20I'm gonna let you ponder
51:21the implications of that for a moment.
51:23Charlie, what the fuck are you talking about?
51:26Look, look.
51:26I've been hearing your bullshit this whole time
51:29for 20 minutes straight.
51:30And it doesn't make any fucking sense.
51:32Now, for Pete's sake,
51:33could you do me a favor
51:34and just let me know
51:36what this undeniable evidence is?
51:37It doesn't matter.
51:42What?
51:42It doesn't matter
51:44because I just got a confession.
51:45I would confess to anything.
51:47Oh, no, not yours.
51:49What the hell is all this?
51:51Huh?
51:52It's what your brother taught me.
51:54The most important part of the cook,
51:55it's the stall.
52:01What?
52:02There he is.
52:04There's my husband's killer.
52:11Which will conclusively prove
52:14George Soros' role
52:15in orchestrating the plandemic.
52:18But first, dear patriots,
52:20the truth train has brought us
52:22a conspiracy in our own backyard.
52:24Now, you may think you know the story.
52:27Brotherly bloodshed at Boyle's BBQ
52:29where the side of the day is fratricide.
52:32But it turns out
52:33there's one more layer
52:34of this blooming onion
52:35left to feel back.
52:37Now, feast your ears on this.
52:40I'm scared, babe.
52:41I'm so scared.
52:42I can't go to prison.
52:44Well, maybe if you'd stuck to my plan
52:47and had to attack that fucking dog,
52:48she wouldn't be on to us.
52:52Shit.
52:53Now, it's like I always say.
52:55There's a whole lot of bullshit out there.
52:58So I'd like to give a special shout-out
53:01to the truth-tellers.
53:02Those real-life heroes
53:04that can sniff it all out.
53:07See, they're our only hope
53:09against Soros, Pelosi,
53:11the Zionists,
53:12the Mexicans,
53:14the Snowflakes,
53:15and the Woke.
53:17Stay strong, truth-tellers.
53:27Stay strong.
53:28Let me put my arms around you
53:30and we'll rock till the break of dawn
53:33if it's real like heaven.