Poker Face Season 1 Episode 5
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00:00But I know why you're here
00:03She wants to know how I feel
00:08Tell her that I'm happy
00:12Tell her that I'm gay
00:17Tell her I was happy
00:21Any other way
00:30I'm telling you, it's a planet again
00:47Pluto was always a planet
00:49No, it wasn't
00:51Now it is again
00:52This is like when you tried to tell me a strawberry is a nut
00:55Strawberry is a nut
00:56Anything with seeds on the outside is a nut
00:59A raspberry
01:00A nut
01:01I hate your cunt heart
01:04My tots are done
01:07Oh, whoopee
01:08So, what are we gonna watch tonight?
01:10You wanna keep going with euphorica?
01:13Kids who think they invented fucking?
01:15No, thank you
01:16Oh, shit
01:17Goddamn Fletchers have the remote
01:19Hey, Fletchers
01:20We're gonna watch Shark Tank
01:21Majority rules the remote
01:24Majority rules my foot up your ass
01:27What is this garbage?
01:28You finished Quaints for Shire Murders
01:31And now you want us to care about who dies in Norway?
01:34The blonde did it
01:36Bitches
01:37All right
01:40Oh, Irene
01:43Did you charge your heart cuffs?
01:46I sure did, Billy
01:47Well, that's hilarious
01:50Because, um, I'm showing Irene
01:52Zero percent
01:53No transmission
01:54Oh, well
01:55You wanna track my every movement
01:56So you know every time I go to the bathroom
01:59So you can jerk it to the knowledge that I'm pooping
02:02It's not a GPS, Irene
02:03All it is is track your vital signs
02:04It's not gonna chip me like some dog
02:07Last chance
02:11Last chance to sign up for the Z Trip
02:14Oh, sure, great
02:17Oh, wait, though
02:20Will we get back in time to change our diapers and to watch Stella Dubbies?
02:24We're not fucking toddlers, Betty
02:27We've seen emus before
02:29If you can't make an effort to be a more positive community presence
02:33I may have to report your illegal drug plans to the administration
02:38No, no, no
02:39No, no
02:40No, no, no
02:40Our life-saving medicine
02:42I know you don't have glaucoma
02:44And I hate this witchy Chinese game you're playing
02:48What are these, runes?
02:49That's right, Betty
02:50We're satanists
02:52Who love drugs
02:54Oh, my God
02:56I'm a fucking cop
02:59And I'm gonna do set up on our heart cuff system
03:13But I'll let you get settled in first
03:16You thinking what I'm thinking
03:32We have to kill that motherfucker
03:39Are we happy?
03:56I'm coming down, down, down, down, down
03:58Coming down with a heartache
04:01I ain't sick, but I gotta feel
04:08Blood crushes running high
04:11Those ain't right
04:14I can't sleep at night
04:16And here's the reason why
04:18Watch out, Earnhardt
04:22This ain't bumper cars
04:23Look, I am so sorry
04:25Wait a minute
04:25I mean, I guess I was just going a little bit too fast
04:28You alright?
04:29Yeah
04:29Mario Andretti over here
04:31The doctor can diagnose
04:33Cause when her heart's lost the four-five
04:37And can't feel that the step is going
04:40What's wrong with me
04:42I said it's a simple fact
04:44I don't believe
04:45Yeah, but coming back
04:47I'm coming down
04:48Coming down
04:50Coming down
04:52Coming down
04:53I'm coming down, down, down, down, down
04:56Joyce, can you wheel me over to the shitter?
05:03You have to go again?
05:04I'm coming down
05:34Hurry up in there
05:58The bus is here
05:59The animals aren't going anywhere
06:01We can't miss the orangutan show
06:03She's very impressive
06:05Betty, you think Velcro is impressive
06:08You don't have to go again
06:16Go away
06:31Hey
06:32Hey
06:32Hey
06:33Hey
06:34Hey
06:34Hey
06:34Hey
06:36Hey
06:36Hey
06:38Oh, my God.
07:08I'm so glad you came back.
07:38It's 11.10.
07:51The bus is going to leave.
07:54I got a piss.
07:55What the hell is she doing in there?
07:56I don't know what to tell you people.
07:58She has diarrhea.
08:00That's it.
08:01I've had it.
08:01The bus is ready?
08:03Betty.
08:03Betty.
08:05Oh, good.
08:07You going to help me wipe?
08:09Because my crevices have crevices.
08:12Excuse me.
08:13Big deal.
08:34Attention, would our guest from Mossy Oak's retirement please meet the zookeeper liaison in the primate area?
08:43Melanie is performing now.
08:48Okay.
08:49I think this is good.
08:51Right here?
08:52Okay.
08:53Here.
08:54Let's do this.
08:56Okay.
08:57You ready?
08:59I'm good.
08:59You don't look ready.
09:02I'm just, I'm good.
09:04I'm good.
09:18Girl.
09:20Good.
09:21Here.
09:21Take this off.
09:23I'm getting a pulse.
09:27Let's go.
09:27Let's go.
09:32Charging.
09:34Excellent.
09:35Clear.
09:37And clear.
09:38Clear.
09:53Oh, dear.
09:58Who is that?
09:59Oh, new guy from 312.
10:00Bad.
10:01Heart attack.
10:02Okay.
10:23Does the perfect murder exist?
10:49This I have asked the owls.
10:51Hey, do you mind?
11:02Sorry.
11:03Hey, hey, hey.
11:04Don't worry about the Fletchers.
11:06Well, the Fletchers, thanks.
11:09You gotta say, they seem very hardcore.
11:10What are they, Dutch?
11:11No, just into murder.
11:13Very rude.
11:15Now, me, I would never tell a lady when to stop sucking.
11:19What the fuck, dude?
11:25Pete, stop pestering the new girl, come on.
11:29And don't forget to sign up for the zoo trip next week.
11:33That is a very pervy guy.
11:35It's pervy Pete.
11:36Explains it.
11:37Steer clear of his entire gang, Chlamydia Cal and Gonorrhea Greg.
11:42They're creeps.
11:42Well, at least truth in advertising, huh?
11:44Actually, I think it's Greg that has Chlamydia.
11:47Aha.
11:48So kind of an Iceland-Greenland scenario.
11:51I know everything about everyone who lives here.
11:53Just stick with me.
11:55I'm Betty.
11:56Hopefully not botulism, Betty.
11:57Most people don't realize all the things you can do with an Instapot.
12:03Cheesecake.
12:04Denver omelet.
12:06I once made a beef boring night in 22 minutes.
12:11Ladies, would you please turn your ghetto blaster down?
12:21Watch out for these two.
12:23They're villains.
12:24And junkies.
12:25I'm under the hell dent of iniquity in this place.
12:30Whatever you do, stay away from Joyce and Irene.
12:39I don't think I want to know.
12:41I really don't.
12:43That was awful.
12:45You guys are trouncing me because you're a pair of shuffle sharks.
12:48Your form is off.
12:50You're doing dance.
12:51You need to loosen up.
12:52I'm loose.
12:53All right, that's my whole thing.
12:54Am I not loose?
12:55You should try rage therapy.
12:57What's that?
13:05That shit feels good.
13:07You come on.
13:08Reach deep.
13:09It starts in the labia.
13:10You know, I think that I'm fine with bottling.
13:18You don't want to see me unbottled.
13:20You can't handle the unbottled.
13:23Thing that got us sourced in at Bedford Hills.
13:26Yeah.
13:27Lazy.
13:28We're really inside, huh?
13:30Yeah.
13:30Upstate.
13:31We were political prisoners.
13:33Oh, no shit.
13:34No shit whatsoever.
13:36How'd you get into that?
13:37I was in college.
13:39It was a turbulent time.
13:41Hmm.
13:42Oh, yeah.
13:43I mean, the 60s.
13:44Did you hear that?
13:4570s, bitch.
13:45Oh, right.
13:46You know, I was going to say the 90s because of all the flannel.
13:49You'd have been better off going there.
13:50I'm so sorry.
13:51That's true.
13:51Just a pair of tweens and a shuffleboard.
13:56Whoa, whoa.
13:57Why, Reen?
13:58Yeah, that's right.
14:01Very straight edge.
14:03I mean, not at all what I was expecting.
14:05Yeah, I was on the straight and narrow before I met my guardian devil.
14:09What?
14:09Yep.
14:10She was shouting down some co-eds on the quad, and I heard what she was saying, and my brain opened up.
14:16World didn't make sense before that.
14:18And then it did.
14:19It's adorable.
14:20She brought me into the group and changed my life.
14:28Introduced me to Gabriel.
14:31Oh, la, la.
14:32Who's this Gabriel?
14:34Who's Gabriel?
14:35Gabriel started the group.
14:37He recruited me, and he trained us, inspired us.
14:42He was our guiding light.
14:46I see what's happening here.
14:47I'm getting a real magnetic vibe, like a cult leader with pretty eyes.
14:50Yeah, you look like one of those white guys you see in the picture frames that you buy from Target.
14:54Excuse me.
14:54Don't know excuse you.
14:56Uh-uh.
14:56Excuse me.
14:57Gabriel was hot.
14:59Okay, I'm going to split the diff.
15:01I'm going to picture my high school French teacher.
15:03Yeah, one thing for Sarah, though.
15:07Dick like a fire hydrant.
15:10Oh, good for Gabriel.
15:12Everyone in general.
15:12I know.
15:13Yes.
15:13Well done, Gabriel.
15:15Gabriel was more than that.
15:16You know, he knew that we could make the world a better place if we hold the assholes to account.
15:24You feel me?
15:25I feel you.
15:26That was Gabriel.
15:27I feel you.
15:28I am picking up what you're putting down, and I got to say, you two are the coolest motherfuckers I have met in a very long time.
15:35Seriously, I mean, sorry to curse, but necessary.
15:39Cool.
15:39So what happened after that?
15:41What happened after you recruited you?
15:44We went to work.
15:58I got to say, it sounds like I was born in the wrong time.
16:03We were starting to get a reputation.
16:04The band even put our picture on the cover of their album, The Droopy Hughes.
16:08The Droopy Hughes.
16:11Gosh, what an awful name for a band.
16:14Were they any good?
16:15Awful.
16:15Awful.
16:38You mean like, uh...
16:45Uh, Charlie, yes.
16:47But together.
16:50Okay, the euphoric generation can't handle the heat.
16:54Euphoria?
16:55How old do you think I am?
16:57Don't forget to charge your hard cuff, Irene.
16:59And don't forget to take your head out of the man's ass, Billy.
17:01You know you don't live here, right?
17:06Is that Elaine's cardigan?
17:08You know what?
17:08I found it in the, uh, The Lost and Found, which I gotta say is stellar.
17:12There's so much stuff in there.
17:13Yeah, no, it's, uh, it's actually not lost.
17:15Um, she had an aneurysm and died in that sweater.
17:18Yeah, it smells like icy hot and a life well lived.
17:22She's gone full cocoon.
17:25Billy, will you marry me?
17:26Hey, Billy.
17:27Billy, Billy.
17:30So, you're living, you're loving, you're changing the world.
17:35What went wrong?
17:38Well, we were planning our most direct action.
17:43It was the real revolution.
17:45We were gonna set the world on fire.
17:49We were on the cusp.
17:51That's when it always happens, right?
17:57It was a raid.
18:13So, that's how?
18:16That's how you got arrested?
18:18Their plan wasn't to arrest us.
18:21They came in there with guns blazing.
18:24And we all tried to run, but...
18:31Irene...
18:35Irene was brave.
18:40She couldn't leave Gabriel behind.
18:46Hey, look at me.
18:48I got you.
18:50Hey, I got you, okay?
18:51He can't do my ass.
18:51I got you.
18:52I can't feel my legs.
18:54I can't feel my legs.
18:56I can't feel my legs.
19:06They took...
19:08Took everything.
19:11My legs.
19:15Our freedom.
19:18And Gabriel.
19:19Gabriel.
19:19Just hope he didn't suffer.
19:27But we'll never know.
19:34Fucking Christ, man.
19:36You too.
19:37All that loss, and you keep moving forward.
19:41Just living your lives.
19:43Forgive and forget, right?
19:45Oh, sweetie.
19:47No.
19:50We never forgive.
20:02We have yoga, swimming, potties, if that interests you.
20:06All right, if I can get you a signature right here.
20:13Sign of the bomb.
20:14All right, we have you in a suite on our third floor, our medical care unit.
20:20I can give you a full tour of the facilities and get you set up with our heart cuff system,
20:24but I'll let you all get settled in first.
20:26Okay, what else, what else?
20:29Okay, I think you guys are ready to come on up to the third floor.
20:32Let's go.
20:32Actually, I have someone to carry those bags for you.
20:35Charlie?
20:44All right, Uncle Ben, I've got to hit the road.
20:49I, uh, love you.
20:52I'm his nephew.
21:05Oh, sure.
21:10Want me to, uh, close that window?
21:12No, I like the cold.
21:14Ah.
21:18So where are you from?
21:21Nowhere.
21:22You got any visitors?
21:24I, uh, I can let the front know this place can be a real maze.
21:27I got no one.
21:35Can I write?
21:37I'll get this.
21:40Welcome.
21:40Catch a boat to England, baby
21:46Maybe to Spain
21:48Wherever I have gone
21:52Wherever I've been and gone
21:55Wherever I have gone
21:57The blues
21:58Are all the same
22:01Gabriel.
22:06Even when I saw you
22:21I couldn't believe it
22:24We both couldn't
22:26That I knew your eyes
22:30I've thought about this moment for
22:35Years
22:36Imagining what I'd do
22:39And
22:39What I'd say
22:41If I ever saw you again
22:45And now that I finally found you
22:49Where they don't know
22:53We would have looked for you
22:55We would have looked for you
22:55We never would have stopped looking
22:57We thought you were dead
23:00But you got away
23:05Thank God you got away
23:09Wherever I have played
23:11Whenever I throw them dice
23:14Wherever I have played
23:17The blues
23:18Have run the game
23:20Maybe tomorrow, honey
23:30Some place down the line
23:32I'll wake up older
23:35So much older
23:38Mama
23:38I'll wake up older
23:41And I'll just stop all my trying
23:44I didn't have a choice
23:51Things had gotten out of hand
23:54And I couldn't stop them
23:56Not on my own
23:56I know I did the right thing
24:02But it kills me
24:05That I had hurt the ones I loved
24:07It kills you
24:10Man, we've lost
24:14Decades of our lives
24:17I lost my goddamn legs
24:23I know
24:25I'm sorry
24:26That's why I'm here
24:28I have this dream
24:33Where I see
24:35The two of you in a crowd
24:38And I follow you
24:39For miles
24:40For miles
24:41And miles
24:42And
24:42Until my feet bleed
24:43I try to
24:45Explain myself
24:46But you never turn around
24:48In 50 years
24:51I never turn around
24:54And I realize that
24:56The dream would never change
24:58Until I told you the truth
25:00Can you please forgive me?
25:05Sure, Gabriel
25:18We forgive you
25:24You thinking what I'm thinking
25:41We have to kill that motherfucker
25:44It's 11.10
25:47The bus is going to leave
25:49I got a piss
25:50What the hell is she doing in there?
25:52Look, I don't know what to tell you people
25:54She has diarrhea
25:55A little shitting about shitting
25:58Rock on, ladies
25:59Great
26:00The bus is ready
26:01All aboard for the zoo
26:03Attention
26:05Would our guest for Mossy Oaks retirement
26:07Please be
26:08Hey, ladies
26:08I almost forgot
26:10Check it out
26:11I scored it on Etsy
26:13It should be Hughes
26:15Okay
26:16Let's settle this
26:16Which one is our friend Gabriel?
26:19Um
26:19Huh?
26:22Not what I was expecting
26:24But you did not overhype the D train
26:27No
26:27All right
26:30So are you guys coming to see this chimp show?
26:32No, you know
26:33We're gonna pass on it
26:34We, uh
26:35We have an allergy
26:37To monkey dander
26:39Ah
26:40Yeah
26:40Bullshit
26:41And big mistakes
26:42Enjoy
26:43Good night
26:45And catch you
26:45On the foot
26:46On the foot
26:46Wait for me
26:51Timpanzee
26:53Now, Melanie
26:56Can you tell me
26:58What time it is?
27:052.23
27:06Excellent
27:07Wow
27:08They're amazing
27:09Ah, man
27:11Joyce and Irene are really missing out
27:14Deviants
27:18Very uptight
27:22You weren't even gone half a day
27:28Who was it this time?
27:29A new guy
27:30Ben
27:31Oh, shit
27:33Sticky
27:34Who was Ben?
27:40That's, um
27:41That's a question for each of us
27:43To answer for ourselves
27:44And so
27:48Let us take a moment of silence
27:50To reflect on Ben's life
27:52And what he meant to each of us
27:55Psst
27:56Hey, fake nephew
27:58Sorry for your loss
28:00Man's good
28:01Why are you
28:02I'm a real nephew
28:05Oh
28:06Listen, I don't care
28:07Why you're lying
28:08You know, if it was a
28:09Sugar daddy situation
28:11Or whatever
28:11It wasn't
28:12He was my uncle
28:15Oh, sugar uncle
28:17Regular uncle
28:18No sugar
28:19Aren't you like the bellhop?
28:21You didn't
28:22Know him
28:23Why are you here?
28:24You know, he just
28:26He seems sad
28:27Like
28:27He didn't have anyone
28:29And
28:29I figured I could
28:31Show up here at least
28:33You know
28:34The truth is
28:39Well, I mean
28:39I shouldn't tell you this
28:40But he's
28:41Dead now
28:42So it's probably
28:42Ben was in witness protection
28:47I was his case agent
28:49Wow
28:54Oh, shit
28:55So you're like
28:57A FBI
28:58Technically
28:59I mean, yes
29:01I am
29:01It's just
29:02I thought I'd be
29:04You know
29:04Fighting the war on terror
29:05Instead I'm getting groceries
29:07For guys whose testimony
29:09Was relevant
29:09Before I was born
29:10Never mind that I'm fluent
29:13In fucking
29:13Urdu
29:14Oh, wow
29:15Yeah
29:15Thank you
29:17So was he
29:20Like mafia?
29:23Did he do a
29:24Let work?
29:25I've said too much already
29:26Gosh
29:29Who do I know this guy from?
29:32Is he on TV or something?
29:33I don't think so
29:35Fire hydrant
29:40Uh-oh
29:41Uh-oh
29:42Droopy Hughes
29:43Droop what?
29:45Yeah
29:45That's Gabriel
29:46Look at his dick
29:47Yes, what?
29:48How do you
29:49Know that?
29:50Well
29:50Not to brag
29:52But I'm friends with these
29:52Pretty super cool chicks
29:54Joyce and Irene
29:54Who live here
29:55And they were telling me
29:56About their old flame
29:57Oh, dude
29:58Joyce Carter and Irene Smothers
29:59Yes, Joyce and Irene
30:01Joyce Carter and Irene Smothers
30:02Are you?
30:03Yeah, they're my buds
30:04We mahjong
30:05Why?
30:07Fuck
30:08I'm coming down
30:11I'm coming down
30:14I'm coming down
30:18I'm coming down
30:18Yes, I'm coming down
30:21Joyce, Irene
30:22Special Agent Luca Clark
30:24FBI
30:24Come with me, please
30:26I'm coming down
30:28Down, down, down, down
30:29Coming down with a hearty
30:31Charlie
30:33They used illegal drugs
30:35They had zero respect for quiet time
30:38And at the zoo
30:40They were doing some kind of sexual zapping
30:43And at Peter's birthday party
30:46They both had two pieces of cake
30:48And I didn't get any
30:49Yes, ma'am
30:50Thank you for sharing all this very helpful information
30:53Those two are no good
30:56Okay
30:57What a fucking cop
31:01Okay
31:03So the hard cuff data
31:04Pins the time of death
31:05And Joyce and Irene were at the zoo
31:06So they didn't kill Gabriel
31:08Well
31:09I could have told you that
31:10Well, normally
31:11If someone in witness protection
31:12Meets the
31:13People he
31:14You know
31:15Witnessed
31:16And then
31:17Suddenly drops dead
31:18Wait
31:18Are you saying that Ben
31:19Or Gabriel
31:20Or whatever
31:20He's the guy that ratted them out?
31:23God
31:23I'm just so, so dumb
31:24He said he wanted to transfer here
31:25And I said
31:26Mossy Oaks
31:27Sounds nice
31:28I did zero research whatsoever
31:30Oh yes
31:30No, that is not very thorough
31:32But
31:33Don't beat yourself up
31:35Because guess what
31:35They didn't kill him
31:37I know the zoo
31:38And the time
31:38And I know them
31:39These guys are cool as shit
31:42Okay
31:42They're not murderers
31:43Charlie, Joyce and Irene are not cool as shit
31:46They're domestic terrorists
31:48All right, Mr. Mann
31:49Do you know what they were planning
31:51When they were arrested?
31:52Yeah, I do
31:53They were doing some kind of a big march or something
31:55So that's
31:56They were going to blow up a meeting
31:57Of the model United Nations
31:58With bombs they made out of
32:00Pressure cookers
32:02Wait, I'm sorry
32:04They were going to
32:05Blow up the UN?
32:06The model UN
32:07As in high schoolers
32:09Pretending
32:10To be the UN
32:11For extra credit
32:13Okay
32:14Is that better or worse?
32:16Because I mean
32:17That's not the real
32:18UN, right?
32:19So much worse
32:19They
32:20They were going to kill children
32:23With explosives
32:25Ah
32:30Yikes
32:32Yeah
32:32Anything comes up
32:35Yeah
32:35You should keep that
32:36I don't need that
32:37Maybe they didn't kill Gabriel
32:39But
32:39Watch your back, Charlie
32:41Those two women
32:42Are extremely dangerous
32:43That was intense
33:03I felt like I was in
33:04Wolf of Wall Street
33:05All of a sudden
33:05And not the fun part
33:06Are you a rat, Charlie?
33:10Yeah
33:10They grilled us for an hour
33:13And you know we hate pigs
33:15And rats
33:17Hey, hey, hey
33:21I hate pigs and rats, too
33:24And snakes
33:26Half the Chinese zodiac
33:28Is no good in my book
33:30Hey, guys
33:33It's me, okay?
33:35It's Charlie
33:35I didn't know the guy was a fed
33:37Until he started talking
33:38He just sprung it on me
33:39I'm no stool
33:41If I had known who Ben was
33:44I would have steered Claire
33:45Wait, why didn't you just tell me, you know
33:48That Ben was a gay girl?
33:49How do you think we feel?
33:52Knocks on our door the other night
33:54Says, hey, I'm alive
33:56And I betrayed you both
33:58Jeez
34:00How'd that go?
34:02We told him we forgave him
34:04Ah, good
34:07Forgiveness
34:08All right
34:09Oh, I did want to ask you guys about this crazy thing
34:14It's probably nothing
34:15So apparently you guys were going to, I don't know
34:19Blow up some kind of United Nations for babies or something
34:23Charlie, what you have to understand about these elite prep school kids
34:28They were the offspring of the reigning fascists of the day
34:31And we wanted to send a message to the next generation of war criminals
34:38I see
34:41Uh, just to be crystal clear here
34:44So, uh, we're talking about blowing up high school kids, like with bombs?
34:53It was a different time
34:54Uh-huh
35:06All right
35:08I gotta say, I really feel like we glossed over some details here
35:13I know who you're beginning to sound a lot like
35:18Betty
35:22Betty
35:22Right
35:25Well, I gotta say, you know
35:28You're starting to sound a lot less like Hoffman, a lot more like Manson, so
35:32Ah, shit
35:34Wait
35:36Did you guys
35:39Did you kill Ben?
35:44You're wearing a wire, Charlie
35:46Hey, Agent Fuckface, go suck an egg
35:51All right, all right, man, stop talking to my tits
35:52You know what, I-I-I-I
35:54Fuck, I just-I really thought you guys were like these two super cool women
35:59You know, all this talk about standing up for what you believe in
36:02Holding the assholes accountable
36:04Just
36:05Oh, wow
36:15Oh, wow
36:15You're the assholes
36:19Got it
36:21You think of what I'm thinking
36:39Yeah
36:42Is that a scars guard?
36:49You think everyone is a scars guard?
36:51Well, everyone is a scars guard
36:53Uh, hey, hey, you guys watch a lot of murder shows, right?
36:56Shh, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry
36:59Uh, I was just wondering, um, do you have any easily accessible poisons that would trigger an undetectable heart attack?
37:08Potassium chloride
37:11Standard go-to third season lily flay manner
37:15Calcium chloride
37:17Epinephrine
37:18Sodium nitrate
37:20Common gardening ingredient
37:22Of course, it's hard to top
37:25Ricin
37:26Ricin
37:28What about the, um, the gardening one?
37:30Oh, sure
37:31A couple of cc's of sodium nitrate
37:34And you're deader than dirt
37:36And the best thing is
37:38It's a naturally occurring compound in the body
37:41Trying to find that in an autopsy?
37:44Forget about it
37:46Right on
37:47Gardening
37:48Okay, okay
37:53As you were
37:53Uh-huh
37:56Uh-huh
37:58Sodium nitrate?
38:01Oh
38:01Yeah, I guess so
38:03If that's what she, uh, uses for her ganja situation
38:08Then what's she been doing with it?
38:09I gave her a week's worth on Monday
38:11Then another week's worth on Wednesday
38:13You tell her don't shoot that stuff
38:15I'll mess you up
38:16Fake nephew
38:22Charlie, hey
38:23So listen, if I, uh
38:24If I had some information about, uh
38:27Ben's death
38:28Is that something
38:29Like, could you keep my name out of the whole business?
38:32Yes
38:32That's what I
38:33My job is literally witness protection
38:35Turns out that Joyce had access to some sodium nitrate
38:39The day before Ben was killed
38:40Oh, your last guy got whacked
38:42What is that?
38:42Am I, uh
38:43Sorry, am I on speakerphone?
38:45Yes, no
38:46That's Gino the Bull
38:46It probably wasn't even murder
38:48Probably
38:49Mod on
38:50This ain't inspiring
38:52A lot of confidence, you know
38:54Charlie, how could they have killed him with sodium nitrate?
38:57Time of death was 2.23
38:58They were at the zoo with you
39:002.23
39:042.23
39:05Whoa, whoa, dude, dude
39:07That's the time of the monkey
39:08What? Of the what?
39:10Oh, the monkey
39:11The zoo, the show, you know
39:13It tells time
39:14Melanie, Melanie
39:15She's amazing
39:16And when I saw the show
39:17The time the monkey told was 2.23
39:19That's a weird coincidence, huh?
39:21Uh, I mean
39:22Do you think that maybe she's, uh
39:24You think she's some kind of a monkey precock?
39:27Precock, like
39:28Minority report with monkeys?
39:31No, I do not
39:31I would watch that movie, though
39:34Wait, wait, wait
39:35No, so, uh
39:36Joyce and Irene, they skipped the show
39:37Fuck yes
39:39They could have
39:39Ah, shit, no
39:40It's not enough time for the drive
39:42But
39:42Maybe they faked the time of death
39:44Charlie, remember what I said about those two
39:47Be careful
39:48Yeah
39:48Hey, Billy
39:48Let me try back, okay?
39:50Billy
39:50Hey, how you been?
39:52I was wondering
39:53Could I get a quick peek at the data
39:56From Ben's robo-arm bracelet?
39:58No, absolutely not
39:59I'll be a HIPAA violation
40:00Oh, yeah
40:01And I'm a HIPAA to what you're saying
40:03But, uh
40:04Maybe just this once
40:06Okay
40:08I shouldn't be doing this
40:09Thank you
40:09Okay, look
40:10You can see the whole story
40:11He had a cardiac spike at 2.23
40:13And then the vitals just stopped
40:15After that, we tried to defib him
40:16But he was already gone
40:17Hey, let me ask you something
40:18Is it possible to, uh
40:20I don't know
40:21Fake this?
40:22Like, could you go in and change it?
40:24No, no
40:25It's hard data
40:25What's this?
40:28This blip at 11.10
40:30Maybe you startled it
40:31No, but look
40:32I mean
40:33The heartbeat
40:34It changes
40:35I mean
40:36It's a different speed
40:37Strength
40:38It's almost like
40:39You switched hearts or something
40:41It's weird
40:4211.10
40:44It's right around when we were
40:46Leaving for the zoo
40:47She bullshitted about shitting
40:54All right, Luca
40:56Are you ready for some
40:56Grade A figuring?
40:58So, she climbed up the plant ladder
41:00Swapped out the heart cuff
41:01Killed him at 11.10
41:02Then she climbed back down
41:04Went to the zoo
41:05And faked the cardiac spike
41:07During the monkey show
41:08Bing, bang, boom
41:09Bing, bada, boom
41:10It's nuts
41:11But plausible
41:12Plausible's not grounds for an arrest warrant
41:14I need something hard and firm
41:17If I'm gonna ride this one
41:18Nah, you're speaking my language
41:20Also, Charlie
41:21For this
41:22Either Joyce or Irene
41:23Would have needed to simulate a heart attack
41:25I looked at that spike
41:26That isn't doing jumping jacks
41:28That's a real cardiac event
41:29I don't know how you fake that
41:31I gotta get back to you
41:33Heya, Pete
41:36Uh, let me ask you a question
41:38Do you know anything about, uh, sexual zapping?
41:43You speak of electroplay
41:46Kinky stuff
41:47Not for the faint of art
41:48All you need is a taser and an open mind
41:51Hello?
41:59Uh, Betty
42:00Uh, it's your old friend Charlie
42:01Oh
42:01What do you want?
42:03Oh, listen
42:03I think you might have been right about, uh, Joyce and Irene
42:06I told you
42:08Felons and junkies
42:09Yeah, yeah, I know
42:10Listen, I need to know what you saw at the zoo
42:13You mentioned something about, uh, sexual zapping?
42:16Well, yes
42:17I was buying a hat like a normal person
42:19When I saw Joyce and Irene looking extra suspicious
42:23They were in the hothouse
42:26Pleasuring each other with some kind of electro dildo
42:29And the worst of it is
42:32I missed the monkey show
42:33Which was the whole reason that I organized the trip in the first place
42:37Betty, that's it
42:39That's it
42:40I think we got them
42:41I'm glad somebody's finally listening
42:43Like I told Irene this morning
42:45The zoo is no place to practice your twisted
42:48Masochistic fetishes
42:50And the FBI will hear about it
42:53Wait
42:54Betty, you told Irene all this?
42:57Uh, just an hour ago
42:58Oh
42:59Hold on just a minute, Charlie
43:02My Instapot is making funny noises
43:05Hold on
43:05Pressure cooker
43:06No, no, Betty
43:07Betty, you gotta get out of there
43:09Betty, Betty
43:10Evacuate!
43:12I think we may be pushing our luck
43:34You up for a change in scenery?
43:36Look, you think they got, uh, senior living in Bolivia?
43:40Mmm
43:40Charlie
43:45How can we help you?
43:59Betty told me everything
44:00Uh, about how she saw you two tasing each other in the hothouse
44:05That's how you tricked the nurses into thinking that Ben was having a heart attack
44:10Uh, when he'd really been dead for hours
44:14Pretty clever
44:16But you missed one detail
44:18What might that be?
44:22Ben's heart monitor recording went totally flat
44:25After
44:26Your taser, your stunt
44:28At 2.23
44:30The time of the monkey
44:32But the nurses tried to revive him
44:36With a defibrillator
44:37If he'd really been wearing his heart cuff monitor
44:40It would've registered those shots
44:42Hmm
44:43Hmm
44:44Ain't that some shit?
44:46Mm-hmm
44:46And all this for a motherfucker who sent us to prison for 30 years
44:51You deserved it then
44:53And you deserve it now
44:55Wax up your shuffleboard pucks, ladies
44:58As soon as I tell my new, uh, FBI buddy about all this
45:04Well, yeah, man
45:07You're going right back to Bedford
45:09So you haven't told him all of this yet?
45:13I'm a cusper, you fucking psycho
45:19I'm a cusper, you fucking psycho
45:31And I draw the line at fighting little old ladies
45:37That's how we did it in Bedford, bitch
45:51What the fuck?
46:04Oh, oh, oh
46:06I'll fucking kill you
46:08You motherfucker
46:09You tell me, you fucking whore!
46:26Get the fucking poison.
46:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
46:30Keep your hell down.
46:31Ow!
46:32Ow!
46:36Come on.
46:39No!
46:42Right there.
46:43Yeah.
46:44Ow!
46:45Oh, fuck!
46:46Oh, no!
46:47Don't you try it.
46:48Don't you fucking try it!
46:49Put it down!
46:50Put it down!
46:51Down!
47:02I... I think we broke her.
47:06Just get this shit done.
47:09Oh, this...
47:13Oh, shit!
47:14Yeah!
47:15Oh, take off!
47:16Oh, shit!
47:17Oh, fuck!
47:18Stop! Right there!
47:19Stop!
47:23What a fucking cop.
47:25All right.
47:26Amen.
47:27Here you come again.
47:28Here you come again.
47:31And you say that you're my friend.
47:36But I don't know why you're here.
47:38She wants to know her.
47:39She wants to know her.
47:40She wants to know her.
47:41She wants to know her.
47:46Tell her that I'm happy.
47:47Well, Charlie Kale, you have great instincts.
47:50You ever think about joining the FBI?
47:52Well, uh, I'm not really about helping the man.
47:55Although, uh, did you guys ever get my email about, uh, Casimir Kane?
48:02You guys meaning who?
48:03FBI at FBI.gov.
48:05I don't even know if that's a thing, but the offer stands.
48:11If you ever get in a jam, you have my number.
48:14I'm not...
48:15Toodles!
48:16Are we have here?
48:17Hang on!
48:18Uh!
48:19Something's out there.
48:20And theฯ Certus knew me.
48:21Should we kill ourselves!
48:24So...
48:26Father, do you.
48:27I'm not so part of the video,
48:28it's just out there.
48:30Toodles!
48:33Sam vu captions!
48:37Do you want me to know what to talk about?
48:39It's impossible.
48:40It's impossible.