King Of The Hill Season 2 Episode 1 How To Fire A Rifle Without Really Trying
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Howdy, partners!
00:30Now kick up your leg, Bobby
00:45Arch your back
00:46Whip your forearm
00:47And snap your wrist
00:49Hey, man
00:53Uh, Bobby
00:56You better let me throw that last one
00:58This man here is trying to run a business
01:02Now, ping pong balls are tricky
01:10Don't grip it hard
01:12It requires finesse
01:14Bobby, what's in your mouth?
01:17Look, Dad
01:18I'm the commish
01:19It's okay to line up the sides, Bobby
01:27It's not cheating
01:28I got it
01:36Phew, lucky shot, Bobby
01:39That's great
01:40Now this time you might want to
01:42Bobby
01:46Way to kill ducks
01:49Then another duck came up
01:53And he killed that one
01:55And then I killed another one, too
01:57Yep, that's right
01:58He must have killed a thousand ducks
02:01A thousand ducks?
02:04Well, that is wonderful
02:06Did you kill any bunnies?
02:10The boy shows a real talent for shooting, Peggy
02:14This could be his sport
02:15We should get him a rifle and...
02:17Bobby is too young to own a rifle
02:19It is too dangerous
02:21He's twelve
02:22He hasn't been too young for five years
02:25Uh-uh, no
02:27It is just not age appropriate
02:29It would be like...
02:31Like giving boggle to an eight-year-old
02:33Even though the box says that's okay
02:35But I never get to bond with Bobby on account of he's not good at much
02:41Shooting stuff is something a father and son can do together
02:46I don't want to wait till the cat's in the cradle
02:49And Bobby's too busy with a propane business of his own
02:54Now, Hank
02:56You are making me tear up
02:59Uh...
03:04Where's the children's gun section?
03:08All 47
03:09Can I keep my new gun in my room?
03:13Sure
03:14Can I keep the bullets in my pocket?
03:17If you want
03:18Can I put a gun rack on my bike?
03:22Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that?
03:33I have a good feeling about this one
03:36Ooh, I love this rifle
03:39You know, Bobby, that Marlin is a lot like the first 22 my dad gave me
03:44And it's also like the one he started with himself as a boy
03:48Kind of a hill tradition
03:51Wow, I always thought this was a crack house
04:01So then Ray walks in with the same snow camouflage bib overalls that he knew I planned to wear that same hunt
04:10Well, well, well
04:13Hank Hill, you finally decided to join our club
04:17I'm not joining, I just want to know if I can use the range, Dale
04:22There's a $2 charge for non-members to shoot here
04:26What's membership cost?
04:28Lifetime membership is free
04:31Uh, I'll just pay the two bucks
04:39Hank's jacket is so desert storm
04:44The safety is underneath by the firing pin
04:48I hope you're listening
04:50I hope you're listening because I'm not repeating this
04:52Now, Bobby, you've got to take it slow
04:59And oh my God
05:01Boy can shoot
05:03Hell yeah, he's my boy
05:05What you've done here is very good
05:09I'm a little upset with the grouping
05:12You fellas entering the tournament at the county club?
05:15Because if you are, maybe I'll save myself the entry fee
05:19What tournament?
05:21Father-son fun shoot
05:22It's sponsored by the Arlen Endowment for the Arts
05:25Save your money, mister, we're in
05:28All right!
05:30All this being father and son is finally going to pay off
05:34Hey, Bobby, go inside and get a couple of bags of bullets
05:39I'll forget the last time I shot a .22
05:43But I'll bet you there was a Texan in the White House
05:46And I ain't talking about Herbert Walker Bush, either
05:51What are you waiting for, boy?
05:57Pull the ticker!
05:59Make some noise!
06:00You're never going to be a war hero like me if you shoot like that
06:09No wonder that kid from the playground stole your pail
06:13He knows you can't shoot
06:15I want my binky back
06:18You want your binky back?
06:21You've got to come in firing
06:22Now, try again
06:25That's crazy
06:27A person who lives in a cricket
06:50But if you feel a complex, have you cannot negotiate
06:54That's a nice gun.
06:56Yep.
06:58That's a cool gun.
07:01Uh-huh.
07:02Well, it is so nice to see the two of you really talking.
07:07This gun's very nice.
07:10They're all nice guns, and all guns are nice.
07:14So, how'd you go yesterday?
07:16Great. I hit the center every time.
07:19Well, that's terrific, honey. In no time at all, you'll be better than your father.
07:24Now, what's that supposed to mean?
07:27Let's see them hold down a job and be so good.
07:31Hey, look at these father and son ponchos.
07:35They zip together.
07:36Dad, can we get them for the tournament?
07:39Look, Bobby, before we start buying a lot of paraphernalia and accessories and whatnot,
07:46let's make sure we're not getting into another tap lesson situation here.
07:51Why don't we get you into one of those safety courses?
07:55And if you're still interested after they've taken all the fun out of it,
07:58then we'll see about the ponchos and the, uh, tournament.
08:03I didn't know it was loaded is not an acceptable excuse.
08:10I wasn't there, or I never met those people are better excuses.
08:18When I was your age, I used to get so excited about hitting the target,
08:24I'd run right out onto the range.
08:27That's how I lost this thumb, and later, this eye.
08:33If it weren't for the NRA safety guidelines I eventually accepted,
08:38I'd be a stub standing here before you.
08:44Okay, so I discharged the magazine first.
08:49No, first I put the safety...
08:51Son, you just put six shots dead center.
08:53I know. So, do I lay the magazine?
08:57Huh. Hey, look at this. Look at this, everybody!
09:02You see, it's just, uh, I'm too busy for a competition.
09:07We're coming up on the new propane season,
09:10plus next week I was gonna check into buying a Heck Dorland's motorcycle.
09:15But you said if I was still interested, and I'm still interested.
09:20Hank, you love guns. Bobby loves guns. Carpe diem!
09:30Why do we have to practice so early?
09:33I want you to get used to the pressure of shooting when no one's watching.
09:38What's wrong with you? Why don't you steady yourself?
09:48Uh, this is a training exercise.
09:52Close one eye. How can you hit anything the way you're holding it?
09:56Don't grip the barrel so hard. It requires finesse.
10:00Some days soon, all of you will be drafted in a war.
10:07Some of you, like Hank, will be killed.
10:11Others can shoot and may become war heroes.
10:15Now, commence to firing!
10:17Uh, something's wrong with my rifle. I can't shoot today.
10:30Let me see it.
10:31No!
10:32Come on, I bet I can fix it.
10:35You can't fix it. It's in the shaft.
10:40There's no shaft on a gun.
10:42It's tough shooting out there today.
10:58Yeah, I mean, keeping a gun steady can take a lot out of a man.
11:03Do you mind? I'm trying to sit here.
11:07Maybe I can help you.
11:09I'm a sports psychologist.
11:12I worked with the Cowboys.
11:14When?
11:15Last season.
11:16Goodbye.
11:17Okay, but consider this.
11:21Research has shown that athletic performance is 10% physical and 100% mental.
11:27That adds up to 110%.
11:30Breakthrough!
11:32Do you just hang out here all day waiting for someone to miss a lot?
11:36Oh, just in the mornings when the lousy shots arrive.
11:40In the afternoons, I go to the bowling alley.
11:43Losers are very predictable.
11:45Here's my card.
11:47You're going to tear it up.
11:48Well, what about practicing for the tournament after school?
12:00No, I'd have to come here to get you and then go back across town to the range.
12:06That could eat up 10 minutes.
12:09What about shooting after dinner?
12:12No, no.
12:13You don't want to exercise on a full stomach.
12:15Well, maybe I could take the guns to school and we could squeeze off a few rounds between classes.
12:22You shouldn't take guns to school with you.
12:25They're dangerous.
12:27Guns are dangerous?
12:29What?
12:31Oh, brother.
12:34Bobby, go on and clean the guns.
12:37I'll be in there in a minute.
12:39Well, what's this about guns being dangerous?
12:43Well, that's right.
12:46They kill people.
12:48Guns don't kill people.
12:49The government does.
12:51Oh, Hank, guns have been around for years.
12:54If they were dangerous, I just think someone would have said something.
12:58Most deaths in the home are from guns and gun accessories.
13:03Let me ask you this.
13:05A guy breaks into your house, but you don't have a gun.
13:10How are you going to shoot him?
13:12Dale, that's right out of the NRA Magazine August issue.
13:17I tell you what, man, that dang old NRA was our rights, man.
13:21That insurance you get with dismemberment and not like that, you get like $20,000 just for your arm blows off, man.
13:28I can't believe you guys.
13:30Dale, the NRA is a Washington, D.C.-based organization.
13:36Are you telling me you support Washington, D.C.?
13:39That's a thinker.
13:46I'm a little confused here.
13:48How are you going to win that shooting contest without a rifle?
13:53Haven't you been listening to me?
13:55I'm not going to shoot in any contest.
13:58Sorry, Bobby.
14:13Bobby, honey, you've been sleeping in that vest for two weeks.
14:16What's wrong?
14:17I think I messed up.
14:20I made Dad not like guns anymore.
14:24Oh, son, that can't be true.
14:26Your father's love for guns is unconditional.
14:29Then why doesn't he want to shoot with me in the tournament?
14:33Is he afraid I'm going to embarrass him?
14:35Well, it must be because he loves guns.
14:43What has got into you?
14:46You were right.
14:47Bobby is too young to own a gun.
14:49No, I was wrong.
14:51Guns are keeping this family together.
14:54And Bobby's really good.
14:56He won't let you down at the fun shoot.
14:59Uh, that's not why I'm dropping out.
15:02Well, then what is the reason?
15:08Peggy, I can't shoot.
15:10What?
15:11I can't.
15:12My aim is terrible.
15:14I can barely keep the guns steady.
15:23I still love you.
15:26Yeah, but will the rest of the town be so forgiving?
15:30Well, it's a risk you have to take, Hank.
15:33Bobby's finally found something he's really great at.
15:36Do not rip that away from him.
15:39It is not fair.
15:41Life's not fair.
15:42That's a good lesson for the boy.
15:45What if they had never let you play football, huh?
15:48You'd still have that little bone in your ankle,
15:50but you would not have any of the memories.
15:53Uh, go get your clothes out of the trash.
16:09We'll need them for the contest.
16:11You mean it, Dad?
16:13You'll shoot with me?
16:14Yeah, on your team we have to win.
16:18You never lost anything in your life.
16:21Well, Bobby, you can't always expect to win.
16:25No, Dad.
16:27I promise.
16:28I won't choke.
16:30Sometimes people choke, Bobby.
16:33We just gotta be proud that God took the time to give us a fault.
16:38That's loser talk.
16:40You taught me that.
16:41No hill's ever been a loser.
16:43We fought for Texas at the Alamo.
16:46We're gonna get a trophy.
16:49Oh.
16:58All right, here's the deal.
17:00I don't believe in that gobbledygook about a subconscious or any other witchcraft.
17:07I won't take pills.
17:09I won't let you hypnotize or molest me.
17:12Well, I can help you without using witchcraft.
17:16Pills and molestation.
17:17But it won't be easy.
17:20Visualization is probably the only legitimate part of what people like myself practice.
17:25Imagine the dart flying from your gun to the target.
17:30Don't pull the trigger until you can see it.
17:35Hey, shaky!
17:37Close the other eye or I'll poke it out.
17:40Whenever I start to shoot, even aim, I remember me as a boy.
17:52My dad behind me yelling and...
17:55I always let him down.
17:58I was so scared of...
17:59Hank, please, you're wasting valuable session time.
18:03Now, it's important for you to stay relaxed.
18:07Why don't you imagine something gentle?
18:09Say, say, a butterfly.
18:11Taking the dart and flying it to the target.
18:14I am not imagining a butterfly.
18:17All right.
18:18How about a hummingbird?
18:19How about a McDonnell Douglas L-1011 widebody?
18:32Good.
18:33Now, let's do better.
18:35We add audio to the visualization to achieve complete focus.
18:39As you imagine the plane, say out loud, to the end of the rainbow.
18:45I'm not saying...
18:47I'll say whatever you want.
18:49Prepare for top speed.
18:54Woo!
18:58Welcome, everyone.
19:00Welcome, shooters.
19:02Welcome last year's winners, John and Mike McKay.
19:06My fingers are crossed for you.
19:11The format for today is the same as last year.
19:15Start with the tandem shoot.
19:17Then the quick draw.
19:20Followed by the pretend-to-be-sleep and grab the loaded gun under the bed and shoot a figure in the shadows.
19:28And to our favorite event, the all-new and expanded simulated hunting experience that we like to call the Gauntlet.
19:40And finally, just in case some of the dads have been doing all the work,
19:47the independent long-range accuracy shooting.
19:50Come on, Dad.
19:53Let's go bag us a trophy.
19:56And, uh, have fun.
20:01This here's a tandem shoot.
20:02Take your first shot.
20:05Prepare for top speed.
20:15One hit.
20:16That wasn't a practice round.
20:18Uh, okay.
20:20I just gotta make a little adjustment here.
20:23You ready for your second shot?
20:24Hey, Hank!
20:25Over here!
20:30Uh, something...
20:32Something rainbow...
20:34Going to the rainbow...
20:38Hey, keep going.
20:42Yeehaw!
20:43Yeehaw!
20:43Yeehaw!
20:45Over the rainbow...
20:46Over the rainbow...
20:51I guess I'm falling into my groove.
20:59Heh, heh, heh.
21:13To the end of the yellow brick road.
21:21How about a little fire, scarecrow?
21:23Whoa!
21:27Boo!
21:27Whoa!
21:28Two-point detection.
21:31Two-point detection.
21:47Whoo!
21:48Whoo!
21:49Oh!
21:49Well, look at that.
21:51We're in second place.
21:53Good news
21:55The McKays just came out of the gauntlet
21:57And the younger one blew away
21:59An entire picnicking family
22:01That means we're tied for first
22:04Sorry I'm late
22:05I had to stop by the wax museum again
22:09And give the finger to FDR
22:11Grandpa, you came
22:14I'm always here to support my buddy
22:17I'll give you a shoulder to cry on
22:19You'll need one, won't he Hank?
22:21As a matter of fact
22:23We're tied for first
22:25All we have left is the accuracy round
22:28Accuracy?
22:30Better hope that target's the side of a barn
22:32Come on, Bobby
22:34Remember, son
22:44We're just here to do our best
22:47That's because we are the best, Dad
22:51That's my grandson
23:01And his father
23:05Dad, if he misses, we win
23:12No, Bobby
23:13We don't want to win that way
23:15Dang
23:18Come on, Hank
23:20I got money riding on this shot
23:22On the McKays
23:25Okay, Hank
23:33It's time for takeoff
23:35You know what to do
23:37Not just for you
23:38But for Bobby
23:39So focus
23:41Stop talking to yourself
23:43And do it
23:44You're still talking
23:47You're here to talk
23:49Or you're here to shoot
23:50I'm here to shoot
23:54End of discussion
23:55End of discussion
23:55Let's do it
24:05Miss
24:09And the McKays
24:11Win again
24:13Where's Bobby?
24:29We did it, Dad
24:34Second place in a real father-son tournament
24:39Can I put it on my wall?
24:41We were so good out there
24:43We should always be shooting
24:44This is the best day ever
24:46You're the best dad ever
24:48I'm the best son ever
24:50Can we do it again next year?
24:56Uh, heh
24:56Heh, heh, yeah
24:58Yeah, we can do it again
25:01If that's what you want
25:03Hey, kid
25:07I feel like ice cream
25:15That sounds good
25:17Uh, where'd we point?
25:20We forgot Mom
25:32Oh, well, let's go get her
25:51bell
25:53Hey, kid
25:54Build a gun
25:54Without
25:5510
25:55Oh, well, let's go with it
25:56Yeah, we got knocks on top
25:57Yeah, I don't care
25:58Keep going
25:58I know
25:59I know
25:59We'll I know
26:00Oh, well, let's go
26:00John
26:00Don't
26:01I don't know
26:02All right
26:02Don't
26:03When he
26:03rÃ
26:20I want my bank