King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 8 Good Hill Hunting
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00:00See, I told you it wasn't me going through your garbage, see? Deer.
00:06I guess we owe you an apology. And I guess those were probably deer droppings, too.
00:14Probably.
00:15Those deer are infiltrating the human quadrant. They've replaced fire ants as the number one ex-urban pest.
00:23If everything I know about exterminating is true, which it is, we gotta find the queen deer and take her out.
00:32Queen deer. I'll bet she's beautiful.
00:37And the best part is Joseph's finally old enough to come.
00:41Yep, I'm taking my boy on his first hunt the same way my dad took me 25 years ago.
00:53We're not just killing a deer. We're killing Joseph's childhood.
00:59You, I am photographically memorizing your face.
01:04Huh, look at that. He's staring right back at you.
01:07Get...
01:08...
01:10...
01:11...
01:15...
01:16...
01:47Okay, Hank, you can borrow my TACSTAR laser sight.
01:54It's Bobby's first hunt, so he'll need the Russian night vision goggles.
01:59My Joseph's got the bionic ear booster, and I'll be in charge of the good stuff.
02:05Deer wee wee.
02:07Super premium estrus deer wee wee.
02:11Little dab will do ya.
02:13This is crazy.
02:14People used to go huntin', and all they'd need was an orange shirt and a six-pack.
02:20Times have changed, Hank.
02:22But you know all this if you were a hunter.
02:25For the love of God, man, you go to church more than you go huntin'.
02:29You should be ashamed.
02:31I'm not ashamed, and I'm glad there's people out there thinning the herd.
02:38But if I want to get sloppy drunk and shoot off guns with a bunch of guys, I'll go to my dad's Oscar party.
02:45Hank, a huntin' trip's not just about gettin' drunk or shootin' deer.
02:50It's about gettin' out in the woods, away from the government, where your paper money's useless unless you run out of leaves.
02:59Where a man can let down his guard and share his biggest fears.
03:05Dale, you with your guard down is my biggest fear.
03:09My biggest fear is that little pointy, well, I'll save it for the trip.
03:15You mean the Beatles?
03:16Shut up, I was savin' that for the trip.
03:20Don't think of it as a rifle.
03:23Think of it as a part of your body that fires bullets.
03:28When the time comes, you think you'll be able to, you know, pull the trigger?
03:33Oh, yeah.
03:35I don't want to be the only kid around who doesn't kill a deer.
03:39You could get a loser nickname like, I don't know, Pork Pockets.
03:46More about not killin' deer, but, yeah.
03:50But we don't have to worry, cause we'll be huntin' with our dads.
03:55A team.
04:03Go get him, Bobby.
04:24No.
04:25We're a team.
04:26Bobby, I just want to say that you are perfect and a man.
04:50I don't mean to brag, especially about something that hasn't actually happened yet.
05:01What's with the bandages?
05:03Luann fixin' to give you another haircut?
05:05This is for you and Bobby to take on your hunting trip.
05:09You'll be ready for cuts, sprains, and I even put in a needle and thread to sew your ear back on after Bobby talks it off.
05:18Yeah.
05:21We'll be gossipin' like schoolgirls.
05:24And I made a little hunting permit case out of a freezer bag.
05:29Give me your permit and I'll stick it in.
05:31Well, uh, I haven't really got the permit yet.
05:34You didn't buy the permit yet?
05:36Hank, what is wrong with you?
05:38Nothing.
05:39Uh, that reminds me, did you get the batteries for Bobby's Game Boy?
05:44And did you pack his backup Game Boy?
05:46Bobby's not bringin' toys on this trip.
05:49Yep.
05:50And when was the last time he had two whole days to spend just talking with his father?
05:56I spend lots of time with Bobby.
05:58He's there when I eat.
06:00He's there when I watch TV.
06:01I've thrown countless balls at him in the backyard.
06:07Hank, you're scared of being alone with him.
06:10I am not.
06:11You are scared of your own son.
06:14Maybe I am.
06:16So what?
06:17I don't get him sometimes.
06:19The things that come out of his mouth.
06:21And he's almost a teenager, so it's just gonna get worse.
06:24And I don't know what we're gonna talk about for two days.
06:27And, hell yes, I'm scared.
06:30This is an important milestone on Bobby's road to becoming a successful adult.
06:35One of the big three.
06:37Age 12, first hunt.
06:40Age 16, learns to drive.
06:42Age 18, finally turns 18.
06:45Give him this milestone, Hank, so he can move on to the next and the next and eventually move out of the house.
06:52And then you won't have to talk to him at all.
06:56All right, fine.
06:57I'll get the permit, Bobby will kill the deer, and everyone will live happily ever after.
07:08Bobby, what are you doing in the master bedroom?
07:12The truck's all packed, breakfast is cooked, and here's your rope, towel, and toothbrush.
07:20I'm a traveling man, made a lot of stops, all over the world, and in every port, I own the heart of at least one...
07:33Uh, hello, son.
07:36What are you doing?
07:38Watching.
07:40Ah.
07:40What does a razor smell like?
07:44I bet it smells really good.
07:46Like metal.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Uh, okay.
07:51Why don't you wait in the kitchen, Bobby?
07:53I can't shave and talk at the same time.
07:56That's okay.
07:58We don't have to talk.
08:04Hmm.
08:05Your boy's first buck.
08:07I remember my first buck.
08:10Took me six shots to bring him down.
08:13Three more to finish him off.
08:15There was no usable meat left.
08:17But what a thrill.
08:19Oh, Shug.
08:21You're taking away my boy, and you're gonna bring him home, my man.
08:25And how long is that gonna take?
08:30Exactly.
08:32Sorry, babe.
08:33You'll have to do without the big D for at least two nights.
08:37Fire away.
08:43Dale?
08:44John Redcorn.
08:45You brought back that tea bag I lent you?
08:48No.
08:49I have something for Joseph.
08:51Your first hunting trip is a sacred occasion.
08:54The deer you kill will be your relative.
08:57You must show your respect for him and all the deer people.
09:01First by giving thanks.
09:04Then, by using every part of his body.
09:07No prob.
09:08We're taking old Mr. Buck right to the rendering plant for sausageification.
09:14Hmm.
09:15This hunting knife was given to me by my father.
09:18And to him by his father.
09:20Now, I pass it along to you.
09:24A used knife.
09:26Um.
09:28Cool.
09:29Thanks.
09:30Let me hug my child one last time.
09:33Oh, my big boy.
09:35About to become my little man.
09:38Honey, I filled your rifle bag with fruit pies.
09:41Your rifle is in your sleeping bag.
09:43Shh.
09:44Thanks, Mom.
09:46I mean, Peggy.
09:49Let's go!
09:50Let's go!
09:50Let's go!
09:51Just a second.
09:52There's one last errand I need to run.
09:54What do you need?
09:55Mike and Axe, got you covered.
09:58No, I just need to hop on over to the county office and pick up a couple of hunting permits.
10:04Don't worry, I'll be right back.
10:11Can I help you?
10:12Yeah, I'm taking my boy hunting, so I need a couple of permits.
10:16Oh, and one of those Don't Mess With Texas bumper stickers.
10:21No more deer permits this year.
10:23Well, why not?
10:24They haven't all been shot.
10:26I caught one picking through my garbage like this was New York City.
10:30I know.
10:31They're a real nuisance.
10:32They're eating everything in sight.
10:34Well, of course.
10:35There's too many deer and not enough food.
10:38Issue more permits or they'll all starve.
10:40Yeah, sorry.
10:42We had to limit it to 400 this year.
10:44It was the only way we could get the environmentalists off their hunger strike.
10:47So you're telling me my boy can't go hunting because you wouldn't let a couple of twig boys starve?
10:54Forget number six.
10:56You're now serving nonsense.
11:03Good luck on your hunting trip, Bobby.
11:06Thanks.
11:07Just so you know, I'm leaving a boy.
11:11I'm coming back a man.
11:14You're lucky.
11:15I'm leaving a girl and coming back a man.
11:18Hey, Khan Jr., I'm in the car.
11:21You ride shotgun.
11:22Oh, and don't forget raisin bagels.
11:25They're in my briefcase.
11:28All right, everyone, let's go.
11:30Uh, guys, why don't you go on ahead?
11:33Bobby, hop in.
11:41Bobby, uh, there's something I want to tell you.
11:45No, me first.
11:48I know I'm about to be a man, Dad.
11:51So I wanted to take this last chance to tell you how much I love you.
11:59Oh, you might want to take this last chance to cry, too.
12:04Because we're not going.
12:06You see that?
12:21He's already practicing up for next season.
12:24I tell you what, Peggy, with this extra year under his belt, he's not only going to be a man,
12:29he's going to be a, uh, a superman.
12:33How do you like that?
12:35Our son, a superman.
12:38You have no clue, do you?
12:42Would you look at him?
12:43He's at the age where little boy hormones get violent.
12:47They don't call them nice, quiet, well-behaved hormones.
12:51They're raging, Hank.
12:53He has a chemical need to kill.
12:56Well, I was counting on you to channel that need away from humans.
13:00I'll be locking my bedroom door tonight, so please be in by ten.
13:22Red Dog One, this is Red Dog Three.
13:25Do you copy?
13:26Over.
13:26Ten-four, Red Dog Three.
13:28Oh, damn, inferior Soviet surplus merchandise never does what it's supposed to.
13:38Or maybe it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do.
13:43Maybe it just bounced the signal off a satellite to an attack sub in the Gulf of Mexico
13:49whose mission is to read our brainwaves.
13:53That's my boy.
13:55I was about to say precisely the same thing, except the subs in Lake Superior.
14:04What are you doing, Bobby?
14:07Nothing.
14:10There's a spider in the kitchen.
14:12Would you like to come kill it?
14:14No, thanks.
14:15Hank, wake up.
14:28I just want to tell you that I'm learning more about how you destroyed Bobby's life.
14:32I searched through my old social studies files, and look what I found.
14:38In a tribe in Papua New Guinea, a boy who misses out on a rite of passage,
14:45in their case, killing a missionary, remains a boy forever.
14:50He will never become a man.
14:53This is a report by a seventh grader, and it only got a C.
14:59I have backup.
15:01Look at this fourth grade word find about the Huron Indians' rites of passage.
15:07Madness?
15:08When a little Huron Indian boy wants to achieve manhood, but he fails to kill an elk,
15:14he will get physically ill and then go stark raving mad.
15:19Well, I did see Bobby talking to the Mrs. Butterworth bottle,
15:25but I didn't think it was strange at the time.
15:27Hey, uh, Hank, could you give me a hand carrying this out to my SUV?
15:34Eustace?
15:35I've never seen you in here before.
15:38Finally decided to make the switch to propane, huh?
15:42You know, I think you'll find it's the perfect choice for all your heating...
15:46Ah, thanks, but we used passive solar.
15:49No, the propane's for cooking Randy's deer.
15:52Once he kills it, of course.
15:53What? You're gonna take that son of yours hunting?
15:58Oh, I've got to. It's a rite of passage.
16:01At least that's the feeling of my men's group.
16:03That's why I'm not taking any chances.
16:06La Grunta.
16:07The La Grunta Hotel and Resort does a hunt every year.
16:11They take care of everything.
16:13Guns, permits, apre hunt wine tasting.
16:17Permits?
16:18Cushioned shooting stands, heated blinds with automatic corn feeders.
16:24Well, that's not hunting. That's shooting fish in a barrel.
16:28Oh, they have that too.
16:29You want to ride bikes with me?
16:47Okay.
16:49Which brings us to the Trilateral Commission.
16:54Ironically named, because there's actually four...
16:57Dad, I think I hear a deer.
17:01I'd better go have a look.
17:16Six!
17:18Woo-hoo!
17:20Yeah!
17:20Yeah!
17:23He-he-he-he-he-he-he.
17:24Nice throw, Dad.
17:26Nice shot, son.
17:28We make a great team, don't we?
17:30Yup.
17:31The Gribble doesn't fall far from the tree.
17:34He-he-he-he-he.
17:46Bobby!
17:47Bobby, stop playing Dad.
17:50Get up before someone sees you.
17:51Wh-what's that?
17:53Dad?
17:54Is that you?
17:57Everything's so dim.
17:59Bobby, get up.
18:01I'm not gonna make it.
18:03You are not injured.
18:04The gold is buried.
18:07It's buried.
18:08It's buried.
18:11It's buried.
18:15Stand up.
18:17Hey, Bobby.
18:19Look what I got.
18:20Yee-haw!
18:22I got shot in a hold-up.
18:24What?
18:25He's fine, Connie.
18:27He had an allergic reaction to a fruit pie.
18:31That's all.
18:31Mm-hmm.
18:33That's a...
18:33Mm-hmm.
18:34Hell, yeah.
18:36Look at that, beaut.
18:38How about this kid, Hank?
18:40Excuse me.
18:41How about this man?
18:44Look at me.
18:46Everybody's got a deer and I don't.
18:49Everything looks so Christmassy.
18:58Now I know how the Jewish kids feel.
19:05Bobby, how do you like to trade in that cowboy costume for a hunting permit?
19:12What?
19:14Do you mean it?
19:15You got a permit?
19:17I got better than a permit.
19:19I got La Grunta.
19:30This is fancy.
19:32Where do the deer stay?
19:34They don't keep the deer in the hotel.
19:37God, I hope they don't.
19:41Hi, I'm Beverly La Grunta.
19:43No relation.
19:45Can I help you?
19:46Uh, we're here to deer hunt.
19:49Wonderful.
19:50The shuttle leaves in a half an hour.
19:51It's $400 for two.
19:54Will that be cash or credit?
19:55$400?
19:58Uh, hey, Bobby.
19:59Look at all this other stuff.
20:02We could golf or swim with a dolphin.
20:06Can I hunt it?
20:07Uh, it doesn't say.
20:08It doesn't say.
20:09Hey, here you go.
20:11Museum of miniatures.
20:13$40 and worth every penny if you ask me.
20:16Don't get upset now.
20:20Don't get upset now.
20:22I was just testing you.
20:25You passed.
20:31Hey, Bobby.
20:34Look at my deer.
20:36He shot it all by himself.
20:39They wrapped it at the gift shop.
20:41It's beautiful.
20:45Oh, you said it.
21:03Now, careful when you walk, deer can hear the rhythmic pattern of human footsteps.
21:10Gotcha.
21:16Now, there's an open stand in pasture, too, with your name on it.
21:21That'd be hill, right?
21:23I will never forget this moment, Dad.
21:27It's the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
21:30Hey, when I'm a man, do I still get my allowance, or do I get up to minimum wage?
21:39Well, son, now that you're going to be a man, you're going to have more responsibilities,
21:44and maybe you do deserve a little more each week.
21:50Yep.
21:52Yep.
22:00I think I'm going to shoot the one on the left.
22:10What do you think, Dad?
22:12Uh, I don't think you have to whisper anymore, Bobby.
22:21Squeeze.
22:23Don't pull.
22:24This isn't right, is it, Dad?
22:36No, it isn't, son.
22:43I'm sorry, Bobby.
22:45I guess I really let you down, didn't I?
22:47It's okay.
22:48Hey, I know you didn't mean for it to be this horrible.
22:53You know, there's plenty of worse things than getting to hold on to your boyhood for a whole other year.
23:00And, uh, by holding on to your boyhood, I don't mean, uh...
23:04I know, Dad, I know.
23:07Look at it this way.
23:08This gives me an extra year to learn from the man I'd most like to be like when I finally become a man.
23:22Dammit, Bobby, this just ain't right.
23:24You're 12 years old, you're a good son, you deserve better than this.
23:31I'm going to skip you ahead one whole milestone.
23:35I'm going to let you drive my truck.
23:38What?
23:38You heard me.
23:40Well, come on, grab some wheel.
23:43I don't believe it.
23:46I'm in your seat.
23:48Believe it, Bobby.
23:49It's real, and it's really happening.
23:52Now, you've got to reach the pedals.
23:58And now, we'll fix your mirror.
24:01Okay, start her up.
24:04Now, that's the gear shift, and that's the brake, and...
24:08Well, you've seen the movies.
24:10You know how it works.
24:11That's how it works.
24:11Let's go.
24:12Keep it steady.
24:13Keep it steady.
24:26That's good.
24:27This is so cool.
24:30I'm driving the hell out of this truck, aren't I, Dad?
24:35You sure are, son.
24:38You sure are.
24:42Oh, Blake!
24:44No!
24:45I hit a deer with your truck.
24:53Oh, God!
24:55Yeah.
24:56Yeah, you did.
24:58And, uh, it's a good, clean kill.
25:04Yep.
25:06A good kill.
25:07Oh, they're home.
25:09Oh, they're home.
25:14You should have seen it, Peggy.
25:15It came out of the woods and charged right at us.
25:19But Bobby took care of it, no problem.
25:22Didn't you, boy?
25:24I mean, man.
25:26Oh, my son.
25:31My big, strong, normal son.
25:36Nice going, Bobby.
25:37Would you look at the rack on that thing?
25:40There's your sausage parts right there.
25:43Nice going, Bobby.
25:45Way to go, Bobby.
25:46Yeah.
25:47I couldn't have done it without my dad.
25:51Yep.
25:56I couldn't have done it without my dad.
26:26I'm droppin' the hell out!