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Jsamoan
  • 2 days ago
Taskmaster Australia S04E06

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start!
00:04Stop!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:20Stop!
00:22No!
00:24I'll take it.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:40Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:42I won't mince my words when I say,
00:44I'm Tom Gleeson and I'm the host.
00:46Now I will mince them.
00:48This is a delightful season of frivolities,
00:50made ever so rich with gleeful performances
00:52by an enigmatic ensemble of entertainers
00:54before me.
00:56They are the dynamic Dave Hughes.
00:58The electric Emma Holland.
01:00The lyrical Lisa McHugh.
01:04The winsome Mwaka.
01:06And the tenacious Tommy Little.
01:08Now I won't mince them.
01:12Tom Cashman is also here.
01:14Now I will mince them.
01:16Are you well, Cashman?
01:18I'm not well.
01:20What's wrong little buddy?
01:22I remembered something very frustrating.
01:24I remembered I forgot to take my left leg out of a Hokey Pokey in 2006.
01:30I sorted it out though.
01:36You put your left leg in.
01:38You put your left leg in.
01:40Oh yeah.
01:42Yeah.
01:43You meant to take your left leg out.
01:44Oh.
01:45But why don't you shake it all about Boris?
01:47And that, Fusey, that's what it's all about.
02:01Alright, let's dive into the prize task.
02:08Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the thing
02:13that most makes the taskmaster reminisce about the good old days.
02:17Oh, okay.
02:18Let's have a look.
02:19Lisa, what do you think I reminisce about?
02:21Well, I was hoping that a pair of roller skates might be something that you would find
02:27enjoyable and wondered whether you would ever put a pair back on or if you've ever had
02:32any on at all.
02:33My older sisters did.
02:34Oh, okay.
02:35We're talking back in the 80s.
02:36Yes.
02:37But we lived on a farm.
02:38It's pretty hard to roller skate in a gravel driveway.
02:40Oh, okay.
02:41So it's actually quite a depressing memory for me.
02:44I'm sorry.
02:45Watching both my sisters on Christmas Day trying to roller skate on a gravel driveway.
02:50I'm terribly sorry about that.
02:52Actually, you've made me reminisce about their misery.
02:55It's actually quite good.
02:57Thanks for that.
03:00Alright, Emma, what do you have?
03:02I've brought in donepazil, rivastigmine and galantamine.
03:06It's the combination of drugs that's most beneficial for early to middle stage dementia.
03:18But, you know, I thought they could, you know, help you keep your memory, you know,
03:21so you can reminisce.
03:22Oh, so I might need it in the future because I don't have dementia now.
03:25But if you start taking these now, you can prevent that.
03:27Yeah.
03:28And then in ten years you can reminisce about the good old days.
03:30Okay.
03:31I feel like I lost my mind during that.
03:32But anyway.
03:34Dave.
03:35This is, you're genuinely going to love this and I'm really excited for you to see this.
03:40And, yeah, so, um, have a look.
03:43Donkey Kong 2, man!
03:46Oh, yeah.
03:47You know what?
03:48You've made me think back to those beautiful days in the 80s.
03:53It was around Christmas.
03:54Yes.
03:55Yes.
03:56My brother got Donkey Kong for Christmas.
03:57Yeah.
03:58But he let me play it while I watched my sisters disappointedly trying to roller skate on a gravel
04:04driveway.
04:05Okay.
04:06Okay.
04:07I feel like I'm throbbing with nostalgia looking at that.
04:09All right.
04:10Waka, what did you bring?
04:11Yes.
04:12I bought a photo.
04:14I think a photo is the best things, you know, to memory all the time.
04:20And this is, I found your photo.
04:22That's me.
04:23And now we have a technology.
04:24AI.
04:25Some AI make photo moving.
04:28Yeah.
04:39Wow.
04:40I try.
04:41You know, that was back when I was in uni then and in that band playing drums.
04:46And, you know, I did a lot of drugs.
04:48So it's how I remember it.
04:50It's how I remember it.
04:52Tell me, what do you think I would reminisce about?
04:55Ever since I've started in comedy, comedians that are older than me have referred to the
04:59good old days.
05:00And the thing they miss most from the good old days is cold hard cash.
05:05I always hear stories of getting paid in handshakes.
05:08Yeah.
05:09And things like that.
05:10I heard you guys talk in the corridor before, you said you had one year where you only cleared
05:14$4,000 with the tax office and you were driving in a new club sport, Tom.
05:19So...
05:20Yeah, absolutely.
05:21It was the good old days being paid in cash.
05:23Yes.
05:24I used to always like it.
05:25I don't get it.
05:26If you paid cash, you still have to lodge the same amount with the ATO.
05:28You...
05:29Yep.
05:33Yep.
05:34Alright.
05:35I'm going to have to give Emma one.
05:37OK.
05:38Because it sort of depressed me a little bit thinking about dementia.
05:40I'm going to give two points to Waka because even though it made me reminisce, it sort of
05:44made me think about my old ways.
05:46I'm going to give Lisa three points for the roller skates because it did remind me of a lovely
05:51time in my life when I saw my sisters struggle.
05:54And I'm going to give four points to Dave for Donkey Kong.
05:57It's a great game.
05:58Great game.
05:59The cash.
06:00The good old days.
06:01He paid in cash.
06:02Five points for Tommy.
06:03Alright, it's time they start chasing the high scores proper.
06:06Yes, but to score high in this one, they'll need to score low.
06:23Aww.
06:25You look adorable.
06:26Oh, you look so deba.
06:27You look very cool.
06:31Very fancy.
06:32I feel like I'm underdressed for what is about to take place.
06:42If I have to hit something with a golf club, it's over for me.
06:47No.
06:48Play golf.
06:49I love golf.
06:50Official golf rules apply.
06:52Every time your ball is in motion.
06:54You must be talking aggressively to it.
06:56You have 12 minutes.
06:58Your time to start now.
06:59Where's the hole?
07:00Hey.
07:01I can see the hole.
07:03Right.
07:04Let's play golf.
07:06You piece of shit.
07:08Keep going.
07:09That's actually the best golf shot I've ever done in my life.
07:11You piece of crap.
07:12Come on.
07:13Let's keep going.
07:14I hate your circumference.
07:15Go, you little red bugger.
07:20Yeah, go in the hole.
07:21I hate you.
07:26I was about to have a rest.
07:29I needed an icy cold brewski.
07:32Predict the other contestant's score.
07:34You have a total of 32 shots to allocate.
07:36Lower score compared to average score predicted by your peers' wins.
07:40Your time starts now.
07:42I reckon Dave would probably be a golfer so I'm going to say he probably got it in seven.
07:48I have played golf with Husey.
07:50Is he good?
07:51No.
07:52I've played golf with Tommy and the only time he beat me on a hole was when he said let's
07:55bet on this hole.
07:56He was hustling me.
07:57I can't imagine Lisa McCune being bad at anything so let's give her four shots.
08:02I reckon Tommy might have been quite good so I'm just going to say four.
08:05Give Walker ten.
08:08Emma's going to be 14.
08:11I will be better than Emma.
08:13Do you want to say it to the camera?
08:14Emma, I think I'm better than you and maybe bore in the water.
08:20So is that just a rather complicated way of describing golf handicaps?
08:28Well handicaps are based on your actual ability.
08:30These handicaps that they all now have are based on what the others reckon their ability
08:34is going to be.
08:35Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to have another look at them playing and we're
08:40going to see how close it was to the rest of the group's expectations.
08:43That's right.
08:44So Dave and Lisa, the average predicted score is 5.75 shots.
08:47Tommy's predicted score 6.25 shots.
08:50Waka's was 10.5 and Emma's 11.75.
08:54Okay, let's tee off Lessa Tom.
08:57Call it the 2nd of August 1990 because we're about to kick off the golf war.
09:03With Waka, Emma and Lisa.
09:06I have no idea but I'm going to use this.
09:08I think one of these like that's a putter and that's a driver.
09:11Okay.
09:14That counts as a shot.
09:15Does it?
09:16Yeah.
09:17No, I didn't even hit it.
09:18Official golf rules apply.
09:19You suck and I hate your outfit.
09:20The aggressive talking starts after abortion motion.
09:22I hate the outfit.
09:23I hate your little red outfit.
09:27Was that an attempt?
09:28Practice.
09:29Did you promise me?
09:30Yeah.
09:32That's another practice?
09:33It's practice.
09:36One shot.
09:38Go you bugger!
09:39Go, go, go.
09:40Don't go.
09:41Don't go.
09:42Go straight.
09:43Oh no.
09:44That cancels a shot.
09:46That cancels a shot.
09:51That cancels a shot.
09:52Go.
09:55Where is it?
09:56Speak aggressively.
09:57Oh you go you bugger.
09:58Where have you gone?
09:59I forgot to speak aggressively because I didn't know where it went.
10:05Go, go.
10:06Nice.
10:07I try to be aggressive but I don't have time to be aggressive.
10:09Do you want to practice?
10:10Yeah.
10:11No!
10:12You mustn't do that you.
10:13I don't want to.
10:14I can't swear at a golf ball.
10:15Okay.
10:16Small and yucky.
10:17I hate how yucky and small that ball is.
10:19Bastard.
10:20You suck and your family's not proud of you.
10:22Dumb ball.
10:24Go to hell.
10:25Damn it.
10:27Slimey three.
10:29Slimy golf ball.
10:31That was very close.
10:32You're so small.
10:33You're so gross and small and I hate you.
10:35Okay.
10:36Bastard, dumb, die, kill you.
10:41Yeah, go in the hole.
10:42I hate you.
10:43Stupid ball go in.
10:44That's actually my fault.
10:45I should have taken this out for you.
10:46Oh, I hate you.
10:47Oh, you got it.
10:48Bastard!
10:52Thanks, Walker.
10:53Thanks, Tom.
10:54You look awesome.
10:55Thanks for saying that.
10:56I'm going to go and work on my bad language now.
10:58Perhaps you could give us one practice as you walk away.
11:01Shithead.
11:08Lisa, I feel like you're struggling with the abuse.
11:11Look, I mean, it's always great when you have a big release and you swear,
11:15but it didn't feel as though I wanted to be doing that at the golf ball.
11:18It didn't feel as though it was actually going to help me.
11:20Well, I mean, even your abuse is polite.
11:22Like, at one point, one piece of abuse you yelled out was,
11:25Fly and be free.
11:27I would like to state that from here on in I am actually going to become more aggressive.
11:33I'm going to work on it, okay?
11:34I promise.
11:35I'm just going to let the cork out of the ball.
11:37All right.
11:38Well, every time we have a live task, I want you to cut sick.
11:40Oh, cut sick.
11:41Yeah, all right.
11:42I'm working on it.
11:43Now, Waka, you convinced Cashman you were practicing,
11:46because usually that's like, if you miss, that's a shot.
11:48Official golf rules.
11:49If you're going for the ball and you miss it, that's a shot.
11:51But you managed to convince him that that was practicing?
11:53That was practice.
11:54Very close to the ball you were practicing.
11:56That was very good practice.
11:59Very good practice.
12:00I never played golf.
12:01Only one time.
12:02It's apparent.
12:03It's apparent.
12:04He's a baseballer.
12:05That's ball and stick.
12:07That's...
12:09Shit.
12:12So many sports like that.
12:13Hey, Waka, just so you know, this isn't a language barrier thing.
12:17That made no sense.
12:19So, Emma, it took you quite a few shots to get it in,
12:26but everyone did not seem to think you had much ability,
12:28so that may have worked for you.
12:30Yeah, just because I don't have ability
12:31doesn't mean I want people to think that about me.
12:34Well, you might be about to have a very disappointing win.
12:37Honestly, I still don't really understand how this task works.
12:41I'm just kind of going with it at this point.
12:43Well, why don't we look at the scores?
12:44So, no-one beat what was predicted of them,
12:46but mild-mannered McCune was almost double her predicted score
12:49with 5.25 more shots than what was predicted.
12:52Waka was closer, only 1.5 shots off what was predicted of you,
12:55but Emma pips him by only a quarter.
12:57You were one and a quarter shots off what was predicted of you.
13:03And low score's a good score.
13:05Now, Cashman the Caddy is demanding his unionised drinks break,
13:08so we'll pop right off and see you after this.
13:11Welcome back to the PGA Taskmaster Tour,
13:26where our avid golfers are halfway down the fairway.
13:29That's right, we're in the middle of a golf task
13:31where our contestants have each predicted how the others will do.
13:33These next to actually play golf, it's Dave and Tommy.
13:36Come on, ball, you've been a bad boy.
13:38Only when it's in motion, please.
13:40Oh.
13:42I think the ball went over there somewhere.
13:44Good Caddy talk.
13:50I don't know where you went.
13:51Where'd you go, ball?
13:52Where are you?
13:53Call out to me, ball.
13:55I want you to be safe.
13:56Don't worry out there.
13:58Is that aggressive?
13:59Oh, yeah, right.
14:00Come back, you idiot!
14:02Do you know where it is?
14:04You hit it.
14:05Yeah, but you're the caddy.
14:06Is the caddy meant to look at where the ball is?
14:08I don't know.
14:09Are you my caddy?
14:10Yeah, I'm the caddy.
14:11Let's try another ball, yep.
14:13I'm gonna put this in the bath, actually.
14:14Come on, ball.
14:15Oh, no, that went right.
14:16All right, let's go.
14:17Did it roll down into the lake?
14:19No.
14:20This is really desperate by us.
14:22The hole is the bath.
14:23It's a big hole.
14:24Is the hole the bath?
14:25The hole is the bath.
14:26Okay.
14:27Come on, run, run, Tommy!
14:29I think I've found it.
14:30Where?
14:31Oh, no!
14:34Get in the...
14:36Ball, you're back where I hit you!
14:42Okay, the plan is I threw the gap in the trees here.
14:46Okay.
14:47And in the hole.
14:48Oh, you mother.
14:50Oh, I thought that was the ball for a second.
14:52Nope, the ball's there.
14:53If this hits someone, I've warned you.
14:56Ball, why are you burying yourself?
15:03Not bad.
15:04Oh!
15:05Was that really good?
15:07I think that was really good.
15:08Actually, there's a hole over there.
15:10Yep.
15:11You didn't see it.
15:12Why didn't they tell me about that?
15:14How long we got?
15:15One minute and 47 seconds.
15:16So I could take a shot now.
15:18Yes.
15:19Or we could be a big occasion player and do it right on the buzzer.
15:24You're crazy.
15:25Normally, I'd putt from here, but we're running out of time.
15:32Kids, swearing's not the answer.
15:35I've forgotten to swear at the ball.
15:37Yeah, I forgot about that too.
15:39Maybe this could be your big opportunity to swear at the ball.
15:41Go down that hole!
15:43Tap.
15:44You, come on!
15:46Ten seconds.
15:47Here we go.
15:48This is to win the Masters.
15:49I'm going to do it eyes closed like Michael Jordan with a free throw.
15:53Five, four, three, two, one.
15:56Getting the whole knuckle.
15:57Jesus Christ, damn it.
15:58Why didn't they take another?
16:00Eyes closed.
16:02It's in.
16:03That's in!
16:04The whistle!
16:05He's done it!
16:06I ended up further away.
16:09That's golf.
16:10Thanks Tommy.
16:11Thanks Tom.
16:12So usually you didn't know the hole was there?
16:19As we saw, it took me a long time to realise that there was an actual hole.
16:23And I invented a hole.
16:24I invented the bath.
16:25I thought that could be my hole because I didn't know what the end game was.
16:28At some point you started saying, the bath is the hole.
16:30And I was like, okay.
16:32I'll tell you this from experience, anything can be a hole with the right attitude.
16:37Now Tommy, why'd you leave it down to the last minute?
16:45You could have just got it in the hole.
16:48Cause I just thought, isn't it a nice little stamp on it to just a buzzer beater?
16:54Like my favourite sport, basketball.
16:56And then I just, I just f***ed it.
17:01Alright, I feel like we need to hear their scores.
17:04Well, Tommy was in a position to win easily but went for the drama and now is dramatically disqualified.
17:09Give that up, come on.
17:15Why did you start that?
17:17I've never been more an idiot in my life and I didn't come last.
17:20That's incredible, so.
17:22But you didn't have to go like this.
17:24You clapped and nobody joined you and then you turned to the orange and went, come on.
17:29We're meant to be comrades.
17:31We are, we're celebrating your failure.
17:35Speaking of failure, Dave's score.
17:39Dave's predicted score was 5.75 and he was slightly over that with 18 shots.
17:43Yeah.
17:45So that means...
17:47Come on.
17:48So that means Tommy gets 0 points, Dave gets 2, Lisa gets 3, Micah gets 4 but Emma wins the task with 5 points.
17:57And in terms of the episode scores, Tommy is on 5 points, every other contestant is on 6 points.
18:07Oh!
18:09Close!
18:11OK, great round now.
18:12Shall we depart the fairway for the next task?
18:14Yes.
18:15Let's head back to the clubhouse for some nibbles and small talk.
18:17Hey.
18:18Hi.
18:19Hey.
18:20I'm so sorry.
18:21You're on a mission.
18:23Hello?
18:25Hi.
18:28Hello?
18:29Hello?
18:31Hello?
18:33Hello?
18:35Hi.
18:38Hi.
18:39Hey.
18:40I'm so sorry.
18:41You're on a mission.
18:43Hi.
18:44this is why mingle at the party best mingling wins you have 25 minutes your time starts now
18:58hello gang sorry to interrupt can i can i jump in and say hi yeah yeah we're hoping you'd make it
19:04so is it i feel like there was a mistake because we didn't see any of the other contestants just
19:13tommy did with the i feel like did the editors rush that through and they just cut the others out
19:22or something as you well know only tommy did this one so tommy how do you feel right now i invested
19:31so much in those people i really got to know them oh yeah what are their names that was gary with
19:37the mustache i take it back oh i've just been told his name was george
19:42let's go okay and are we going to see more of it yeah but we thought we'd just spread his mingling
19:53out across the episode don't worry we're going to see a lot more of tommy mingling
19:58oh i can't wait all right goodie let's have another task then we're teaming up again for
20:07a group discount to the museum
20:08hi emma hello tom hi tommy hi tom hi tom hi tom hi there's a lot of hello
20:27i'm not doing that does no one else touch him no what is it there's a typewriter involved type a 50
20:37word team bio on this typewriter you must type alternate words and any word spoken must be typed
20:45most self-glorifying bio wins you have five minutes your time starts now any word spoken from
20:53we have to write that down those are the first words type that now please any word spoken we have
20:57to write that down so we have to type a word each please type those into the typewriter
21:01incredible best duo ever we are great at sex thrilling hot revolutionary couple and we
21:21like like sex who listen like diamonds star diamond stars our favorite
21:39doggy what oh oh we're jammed we love
21:47sex
21:55that was really hard i never heard sex so many times thank you i'm very worried about this team
22:03that's what i'm talking about hello thomas you grab it if you can thank you
22:16what's this oh what's it say any words spoken we have to write that down it's our bio and someone's
22:23engraved it onto here it must have been good if they engraved it i'm not sure that's true create an
22:29interactive museum display to be viewed by museum visitors in a hundred years time the display must
22:34be on the subject written on the plaque most educational interactive museum display wins your
22:40interactive museum display must be open to visitors in 45 minutes your time starts now all right what are
22:48the key words sex sex dogs doggy maybe it's the key in the accident that we first spoke which is any
22:56words spoken in 2025 language was important yes because of course it's disappearing because we're
23:02using so many phones probably talking about riz and skibbity have you heard about skibbity i know it's
23:07skibbity i don't know why don't we just be naked covered in glitter okay so the teams are back we've
23:22got the a team aged team and the b team better team now tommy it's good to see you branching out
23:29there by the way you know one stage waka when he was exasperated he turned to me and he grabbed me
23:35and he goes why are you so horny it's true you just said many times sex and his brain just sex
23:51but also can i say lisa wanted us naked with glitter on us i mean did i i don't recall that
23:56it was on the screen all right let's get stuck in making a museum exhibition on the subject of
24:02so we have to type a word each we are great at sex we like sex our favorite doggy what love us
24:09and we love sex we love to rock also beautiful and fantastic and sex we will dominate anyone in
24:16the world and you you bye it's emma wucker and tommy
24:29a hundred years ago today humans ruled the earth they used to say things like we're great as sex
24:36and we love sex and we love doggy style which was very demeaning to our whole breed in fact
24:42they treated us badly very poorly until one day everything changed and my friend walker here
24:50had had enough and he fought back walker that's your cue
24:55oh whoa whoa whoa that's enough go
25:09this is human hers
25:15they say every dog has its day well guess what you sons of bitches
25:19every human does too and from them everything changed and now we show them that we like sex
25:26and we're fantastic at it but we don't do human style we tried it once it was boring a lot of
25:32looking in the eyes and lying to each other i don't trust them oh and one more thing you you
25:39you
25:51tommy little there bravely trying an accent again and we all remember how it went last time don't we
25:56he stayed in that accent the entire time we were filming he was like daniel day lewis like he was
26:01You were focused.
26:03I had a f***ing good time.
26:06What can I say?
26:07So let's get this straight.
26:08In the future, dogs have overtaken the planet
26:10and run museums where the first ever dog to attack their owner
26:12is chained up like a slave
26:14to re-enact the day of the uprising.
26:16Is that what you were going for?
26:17You got it, wiseass.
26:20To be honest, I'm just glad the exhibit wasn't the three of you having sex.
26:24I want to make it clear it was because I said no.
26:29Me too.
26:29And Walker.
26:30All right, to see us to the break,
26:32here's a bit of Tommy's mingling.
26:36Do you guys want these things?
26:37No, thank you.
26:40I don't even know.
26:41Are they brandy snaps?
26:42Mm-hmm.
26:42What are your names?
26:51George, it's one of the more impressive moustaches I've ever seen.
26:54Oh, cheers.
26:55Why do they call them handlebars?
26:56I guess they look like handlebars.
26:58I guess.
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah.
27:06Welcome back to Taskmaster.
27:08Lesser Tom, what did we just see?
27:10We just saw Tommy Little doing a task where he has to miggle with a roomful of extras for 25 minutes,
27:14which no one else had to do.
27:16OK, now what else is going on?
27:19In our team task, our contestants are creating museum exhibits for the future based on their team bios.
27:24Next up, making a museum display out of any word spoken, we have to write that down.
27:30Incredible, best duo ever to breathe on planet Earth, ever outstanding, talent, thrilling, hot, revolutionary couple who glisten like diamond stars, conjoining icons, simulating, oh, we're jammed.
27:41Height bits in tandem, terrific talent, unrivaled brilliance, perfect timing, delicious tasting, mouth-watering.
27:48That's the end of the bio.
27:49Here's Lisa and Dave.
27:51APPLAUSE
27:53Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our...
28:07Times.
28:08Times days.
28:09We're going back in time.
28:10All right.
28:11Oh, shit.
28:13That is what we have done to the planet.
28:16Back in time.
28:17Any words spoken are important.
28:20You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
28:26How long Kala said that?
28:27Yeah, is she?
28:29OK.
28:30Spread love everywhere.
28:33It's beer o'clock.
28:35Kevin bloody Wilson said that.
28:39Do one thing that scares you every day.
28:43Who said that?
28:44I have no idea.
28:45I just Googled that one.
28:46Remember, if we do not speak our words...
28:52Nobody will know what you're saying or what you mean.
28:55Everybody gang them style.
29:01You don't need to run from your problems.
29:06But you've got to have...
29:09Say it.
29:12You've got to have what?
29:13Soul.
29:14Oh, soul.
29:15Oh, soul.
29:18This exhibition is now closed.
29:22It's so bad.
29:26Be proud.
29:27Own it.
29:28What?
29:28It was a bloody mess.
29:46I mean, it was a...
29:48I must admit I don't feel educated by that.
29:52There was a lot going on.
29:53I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this,
29:56but watching two 53-year-olds do gangnam style
29:58was the least awkward bit.
30:03What were you just trying to do there?
30:05We were just trying to, like,
30:07remember the most famous words through history
30:10and present them for future generations
30:12so that they, too, can learn from the finest minds
30:15to ever exist on this planet.
30:17And I think we achieved that.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Yeah.
30:20He's chaos.
30:21He's just chaos.
30:22I mean, he's masterful
30:25and I followed his lead as best I could
30:26and I think it works.
30:27Oh, you're blaming me for this bullshit, are you?
30:29No.
30:30All right.
30:31Well, I guess that what I'm looking for is which one...
30:33Most educational.
30:34Which was the most educational?
30:37I feel like one was a bit more educational than the other
30:39just because it made sense.
30:41Yep.
30:41Kind of.
30:42There was a story there,
30:43whereas the other one was just,
30:44I don't know,
30:45it was like free jazz.
30:47LAUGHTER
30:47So I'm going to give the better team 5-5-5.
30:51OK.
30:51And age team 2-2.
30:54All right.
30:54Ooh!
30:55APPLAUSE
30:56And the scores for the episode,
31:01Dave and Lisa are both on 8 points,
31:03Tommy's on 10,
31:04but Emma and Waka tied in the lead with 11 points apiece.
31:07Ooh!
31:09Ooh!
31:11OK.
31:12Less red tape and more red wax on tasks.
31:15Sure thing.
31:16This one requires a red eye reduction.
31:18Where's Tom Tom?
31:32Hello, eh?
31:34You're quiet.
31:36Don't miss me scared.
31:38It's quite dark.
31:39Hello, Tom.
31:40Hello.
31:41Hi, Tommy.
31:42Oh, hey, boo.
31:46Leave it on the stick.
31:47Leave it on the string.
31:48Yep, right.
31:50Make a thing be mid-air
31:52when these camera flashes go off.
31:54The camera flashes will go off
31:56exactly 20 seconds after you yell cheese.
31:58Your thing must be made to be mid-air from the mat.
32:03If your thing isn't mid-air when the flashes go off,
32:06you will be disqualified.
32:08Shortest time for your thing in the air wins.
32:10You have 10 minutes to select your thing
32:12and yell cheese.
32:15Your time starts now.
32:16Dave, would you mind disconnecting the task from that wire?
32:20My arm is getting very sore.
32:22Part of it, mate.
32:23APPLAUSE
32:24So, basically, when the flash goes,
32:28you want to have something in the air.
32:29That's right.
32:30It's going to be mid-air when the flash goes off.
32:32OK.
32:33Well, our contestants have to wait 20 seconds
32:35before throwing their thing.
32:36But first, you viewers have to wait 2 minutes
32:38before seeing a thing
32:39because this is an ad break.
32:40See you soon.
32:43I'm actually more interested in what you do for fun.
32:45Yeah, I heard you're doing that skate.
32:47Yeah, you skate?
32:47I do.
32:48I'm a bit fat now, but I can still get on it.
32:50I want to please you.
32:52You're adorable.
32:53Do you want something to add to that fatness?
32:56Why not?
33:03Who knows no-one ever makes spinach made out of meat?
33:06It's always the other way around.
33:10That's good.
33:11Yes.
33:16Welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:18Thanks for your patience
33:19and the patience of the poor extras
33:21you saw Tommy Little dribbling at.
33:23Cashman, remind us of the task at hand.
33:26Our contestants have to count to 20
33:27and then chuck something in the air.
33:29That thing needs to be mid-air
33:30exactly 20 seconds
33:31after they yell cheese
33:32as opposed to whispering cheese
33:34which is what I do
33:35when I take a selfie.
33:40Don't reward his sad ways.
33:42First up on Cheese TV
33:45it's Lisa, Tommy and Dave.
33:47Okay, I'm going to go to the shed.
33:49Be careful though.
33:50It's a bit creepy over there.
33:51A bit creepy.
33:54Are you going to throw these?
33:55Nah.
33:56That's just for my benefit.
33:58And the audience that large.
34:00Here's a couple of options I've got here.
34:01I think we might have a winner.
34:10This could be a really bad move
34:12but I'm just going to give it a go.
34:14I wouldn't mind a bit of theatrics
34:15for the finishing shot.
34:17Like maybe a broomstick.
34:20This is going to be sick.
34:2220 seconds after I say cheese.
34:26Focus.
34:27You can do this.
34:28Cheese.
34:29Cheese.
34:30Cheese.
34:31Cheese.
34:33One banana.
34:34Two banana.
34:35Three banana.
34:36Four Mississippi.
34:37Five Mississippi.
34:38Six Mississippi.
34:42Ten banana.
34:43Eleven banana.
34:44Twelve Mississippi.
34:45Thirteen Mississippi.
34:46Fourteen Mississippi.
34:48Fifteen Mississippi.
34:54Oh damn it!
34:55Oh my god damn it!
35:00Twelve banana.
35:01Thirteen banana.
35:02Fourteen banana.
35:03Fifteen banana.
35:03Sixteen banana.
35:04Seventeen.
35:05Eighteen.
35:06Nineteen.
35:07Twenty!
35:15I didn't even get it thrown in the air.
35:18I'm so sad.
35:19So, so close.
35:33Oh.
35:34So, Husey, the Mississippi, the one Mississippi, two Mississippi, I think works with an American
35:38accent, not the Australian drawl.
35:40Yeah, I was right off.
35:42Um, I think they both did well, and Lisa, I just, I'm really, I'm heartbroken for Lisa
35:47right now, to be honest.
35:48Yeah.
35:48Yeah, well, Lisa, you were so close.
35:50I really panicked, I just got a little bit, I got a bit edgy, it felt like it was taking
35:54too long.
35:54So, did you actually throw it a little bit earlier than you meant to?
35:57I, no, I didn't wait till the last banana properly, I don't think I gave it a proper
36:00banana.
36:01Okay.
36:02I think I just did banana.
36:03So, Tommy, what were you aiming for?
36:05Were you trying to be a witch or something?
36:06Yeah, I was going to be a witch.
36:07Yeah, and so were you thinking just at the last moment you're going to jump really high?
36:10I was going to jump, and so then it was going to be me, mid-air, looking like I'm flying
36:14through the air.
36:14It was going to be awesome.
36:15So, just you jumping in the air would have been...
36:17Yeah, I got a big jump, though.
36:19Show us.
36:29Okay.
36:30It's a small window, mate.
36:32It's not a short jump.
36:33Oh, I've got a sore calf, and you know that.
36:35I actually don't.
36:36Don't hurt yourself.
36:38Don't hurt yourself.
36:38Why not?
36:39Come on, let's go.
36:48Oh, that was pretty good.
36:50I should not have done that.
36:53All right.
36:53Well, so, how do I judge these?
36:55Are they just all disqualified?
36:57They're all disqualified.
36:58Oh, you cannot disqualify Lisa for what she did.
37:03Don't kick you.
37:04What about Tommy?
37:08Disqualified Tommy.
37:10But Lisa was so close.
37:12But the rules are the rules.
37:13Can you drive away from this studio tonight giving Lisa zero for that effort?
37:17Can you do that?
37:18Absolutely happy to.
37:22I thrive on it.
37:24I love it.
37:25Lisa's umbrella hit the ground.
37:26Zero point three four seconds too late.
37:29Oh, wow.
37:31That close.
37:32All right.
37:33Who's next, dude?
37:34Our remaining flashers are Waka and Emma.
37:37It just feels like there's no other way to do this but to say cheese and then throw an object
37:40up.
37:41I didn't say it.
37:42That wasn't me saying it.
37:43Okay.
37:43Okay.
37:45They're not going to go off, are they?
37:47All the information you need is in the task.
37:48Tom, no.
37:49The camera flashers will go off exactly 20 seconds after you yell.
37:52Okay.
37:53Thank God.
37:53Okay.
37:54I'm going to get a balloon.
37:55All right.
37:56Good.
37:57I have something with you.
37:57Yeah.
37:58I just make this.
38:02Not yet.
38:03Not yet.
38:03Okay.
38:03Let's practice.
38:04I feel like this will stay mid-air longer than something else.
38:13All right.
38:15Cheese.
38:30That felt like it went well.
38:33It's like a cheese.
38:3420 seconds.
38:35You don't say cheese.
38:36What?
38:37Yeah.
38:39Cheese!
38:40What's a yell?
38:41Yell is screaming.
38:42That was a yell.
38:43All right.
38:44Okay.
38:44Let's go.
38:44Let's do it.
38:46Cheese!
38:47One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
38:58Twenty seconds.
38:58Twenty seconds.
38:59I was ten.
39:14Oh!
39:15I said twice, jeez, and the first one is already...
39:20Yep, that triggered the...
39:32OK.
39:34So, Emma, do you have a freakish internal clock?
39:36What was going on?
39:37I think I'm good at counting.
39:41Afterwards, I did turn around and the whole crew was going...
39:45LAUGHTER
39:46Now, Waka...
39:47Yes?
39:48Japanese people are famous for their love of photography
39:51and being punctual.
39:53On time.
39:54You failed at both of these.
39:56Have you let your nation down?
39:58That was, like, the last task of the day.
40:00And I was very worried about myself.
40:03I thought, my brain's already f***ed up.
40:06And I could not count anything.
40:08So, when the flash went off...
40:09Yeah.
40:10..you thought, I don't know how to count anymore.
40:12Yeah.
40:13I'm very worried about myself.
40:15Is it quick...
40:16Is it quicker to count to 20 in Japanese or English, do you think?
40:19I wonder.
40:20Same number.
40:21LAUGHTER
40:28Yeah, but that could be longer...
40:29I don't know. You know what I mean.
40:30Like, what's...
40:31What number five?
40:32What's five in Japanese?
40:33Go.
40:34It's about the same.
40:36LAUGHTER
40:41So...
40:42We've got four disqualifications.
40:44That's right.
40:45And I guess that makes one winner.
40:46Yeah.
40:47So, zero points for everyone, except Emma, who gets five points.
40:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:52OK.
40:53We're off to a break.
40:54Like an unexpected flash, it's bright, sudden and leaves you seeing spots.
40:58See you soon.
41:02Awesome.
41:03Yeah.
41:04Mum's not around.
41:05I'm sorry.
41:06So she's always around?
41:07Yeah, that's great.
41:15I've got a pussy hand.
41:16It's lying with a monocle.
41:17One for everyone.
41:21Welcome back from the break to Taskmaster, where Tommy's still chin-wagging.
41:32Before we go up for our live task, I have some episode and series score updates for you.
41:36Ooh.
41:37So on eight points, we've got Lisa and Dave, Tommy's on ten, Waka's on eleven, and Emma's
41:41on a canter out in front on sixteen points.
41:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:47Now, in terms of the overall series scores, Emma's out in front in the series as well
41:52on ninety-six points.
41:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:56All right, we have one more task of the live variety.
42:00Head on up to the stage.
42:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:05OK, what's happening here, buddy boy?
42:07Quite a lot.
42:08I'm going to ask each contestant to take their mini-mat and place it wherever they like,
42:12anywhere within the area on the lower stage.
42:14Dave Hughes, if you could choose first.
42:16Who's first?
42:17Who?
42:18Who?
42:19Who?
42:20Who?
42:21Who?
42:22Who?
42:23What?
42:24Emma.
42:25LAUGHTER
42:26LAUGHTER
42:31APPLAUSE
42:33Lisa.
42:34Who?
42:35Who?
42:36Who?
42:37Who?
42:38Who?
42:39Who?
42:40Who?
42:41Who?
42:42Who?
42:43Who?
42:45Who?
42:47Who?
42:48The flying V.
42:49Let's do it.
42:50Let's rock and roll.
42:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:53Now I'm going to ask Waka to read the past.
42:56Right, Pat, the dog.
42:58You must be wearing your blindfold and cannot step off or move your mat.
43:09Oh.
43:10Fastest wins.
43:12Your time starts when Tom releases the dog.
43:18Yes, Emma.
43:19Could you please ask Hughes to be careful with his hands?
43:22Tom, I'm legitimately terrified of the dark.
43:29Okay.
43:30Is this scary?
43:31The dark?
43:32As in, do we get to see what's in there before?
43:34No.
43:35I promise it's not scary.
43:36One other thing I'd like to clarify, if you knock the dog over or if you even touch with
43:40your hands the floor, you're disqualified.
43:42Oh, okay.
43:44Please put your blindfolds on.
43:46Oh, this sucks.
43:47No, it's fine.
43:48It's released.
43:50What?
43:51Stay on the mat!
43:52Stay on the mat!
43:53Yes!
43:54Stay on the mat!
43:55I'm too scared of it!
43:56I'm too scared of it!
43:58Stay on the mat!
44:01What?
44:02Stay on the mat!
44:03What's happening?
44:04What's happening?
44:05Pomme, settle down!
44:06What's happening?
44:07No!
44:08No!
44:09No!
44:10No!
44:11What?
44:12No!
44:13No!
44:14No!
44:15Stand up, man!
44:16Stand up!
44:17Please be small.
44:18Oh, what's happening?
44:19What's going on?
44:21Is Tommy alright?
44:22Tommy's fine.
44:23Where is Tommy?
44:24Don't worry about Tommy!
44:25Are you okay, Dave?
44:26I can hear it.
44:27It's near us.
44:29Come here, boy.
44:30Come here, boy.
44:31Dave is disqualified.
44:32What have I done?
44:33You've touched the floor heaps.
44:37Oh, my God.
44:38That was such a stressful start.
44:45Oh, no!
44:47No!
44:49What just happened?
44:50You did not pat the dog.
45:05Everyone's okay?
45:06Everyone's fine.
45:15We're down to Lisa and Rocca.
45:17It's like a DVD loading screen.
45:22Don't touch the floor!
45:30Come on!
45:31Come on!
45:32Come on!
45:33Come on!
45:42Oh!
45:43Yes!
45:44Down!
45:45Down!
45:46Down!
45:47Down!
45:48Down!
45:49Down!
45:50Down!
45:51Down!
45:52Down!
45:53Yeah!
45:54Yeah!
45:55Down!
45:56Yeah!
45:57Yeah!
45:58Down!
46:00Down!
46:01Down!
46:02Go!
46:03Down!
46:04Down!
46:05Down!
46:06Yeah!
46:20Happy birthday!
46:26Last up, clap at the dog.
46:28That means Lisa's last, that's the end of the task.
46:30What happened?
46:34Okay, what a great task.
46:36But seeing as that dog is a single-use shepherd,
46:38we need a quick break to go
46:40I'll yella him out the back.
46:42See you after this.
46:44Why are you screaming?
46:46People would think you just had a funny attitude.
46:48You're Jacksons.
46:50Oh!
47:00Hey, that's our time.
47:02You've all been lovely and I really appreciate it.
47:04Well done, everybody.
47:06Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
47:08Thanks, gang.
47:10Welcome back to Taskmaster where Tommy Little has been entertaining a room full of unpaid extras with such thrilling chat as,
47:24I've got a pussy hand.
47:28That's right, and it still was technically a task, even though only Tommy had to do it, so we have to score it.
47:34Okay, well...
47:36It was pretty good.
47:38I'm going to give him some points.
47:39Okay.
47:40But it's based on the quality of the mingling.
47:42Yep.
47:43So it's two.
47:44Okay.
47:45Two points for Tommy for his mingling.
47:51Now to recap on the live task that we just saw, traumatising for some.
47:55Tommy had a meltdown, Dave was just Dave, they both got disqualified.
47:58Lisa got three points, Waka got four, but Emma won the task and gets five points.
48:05So with all the points now in the blender, what does the episode smoothie pour out as?
48:11Emma's run away with it with Blackjack, 21 points.
48:13She's our winner for the episode.
48:16Congratulations, Emma.
48:18Head up to the stage to pop your yester-year-mer.
48:23What a rip-snorter.
48:25But with every rip-snorter comes lessons.
48:27We learnt Tommy isn't the big game player he wished he was.
48:31We learnt Emma is freakishly good at counting to 20.
48:34And we learnt what it would look like if Dave and Lisa ever went to Burning Man.
48:42Bravo, Emma, for winning.
48:43And until the next one, I'll see you when I'm looking at you.
48:47Goodnight!
48:57Welcome to the pterodon.
49:04Oh my god, you've unleashed the dragon.
49:09My fight or flight kicked in and it turns out I cower.
49:11I think I'm proud of myself.
49:14What the f***, Tom?
49:15Who won?
49:16I know you think you're being smart now, but if you...
49:18No, no, no, I don't think it, I know it.
49:20I know it.
49:21I know it.