Taskmaster Australia S04E04
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00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:28Let me out of here!
00:30Hello, it's Cast Master time.
00:40Tell your mum to come in from the shed and your dad to put some lippy on.
00:45Because it's 2025, you idiots.
00:47Your mums can be into woodworking and your dads are meant to look pretty.
00:51This is the show where five contestants duck and weave through my devious demands to win an item
00:57that's the source of the dandruff used to make gold flake vodka.
01:01It's the Task Master trophy.
01:03Those contestants are Dave Hughes.
01:09Emma Holland.
01:11Emma Holland.
01:13Lisa McKeown.
01:15Takashi Wakasugi.
01:17And Tommy Little.
01:19Hello!
01:21And beside me the guy who once said he'd love to see an all-female remake of Gallipoli.
01:28It's Tom Cashman.
01:29How's it going, Lesser Tom?
01:30I'm okay.
01:31It's tough for me at night, you know, because I'm a muso.
01:34Oh, right.
01:35It should be easy for you.
01:36Musicians love the nightlife.
01:37Out at night.
01:38Aren't you a night owl?
01:39Oh, sorry.
01:40I've been using it wrong.
01:41I thought muso referred to someone who likes muesli.
01:42I've been telling everyone I'm a muso.
01:45Yes, that's the end of it.
01:46Alright, let's kick things off.
02:12A prize task please, Lesser Tom.
02:13Of course. Tonight our prize task is the thing most worthy of being hidden when visitors
02:19come around.
02:20Oooh. So you've got visitors at your house, what are you ashamed of? Lisa?
02:25I'm going to sound like a really bad mother, but it is my son's bedroom.
02:34Like I actually have started sneaking in sometimes to take some of the washing out,
02:40to get some of it done because it just piles up so badly.
02:43And now he's going to know because he likes watching the show.
02:45But I do...
02:46How old is he?
02:47Um, he'll be 21 soon.
02:50Okay. So Waka, you've got visitors, what are you ashamed of?
02:54I think, uh, air fryer.
02:59I just don't like the conversation.
03:02Why?
03:03If someone came and found an air fryer, oh, they'd start talking about air fryer.
03:08Where did you get? How big this?
03:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:11It's very boring.
03:14So you don't like the chat that it generates and then you brought it in this show.
03:17For the part of the show where we normally chat about a thing, you're annoying yourself now.
03:23No, just don't, don't...
03:24Can we talk about... I love air fryer. Can we talk about that?
03:27Seriously, air fryer changed my life.
03:29Honestly, you slice a potato.
03:31This is great.
03:32Slice a potato.
03:33Tell me more.
03:34A little bit of salt.
03:35A little bit of olive oil.
03:36No, this is what I'm talking about.
03:38I know.
03:39I hate the conversation.
03:40Even better, Hughesy.
03:41Hey, if you are watching this show and you're a big fan of Taskmaster and you see Waka in the street,
03:46ask him about his air fryer.
03:48He would love it.
03:49Nah.
03:50Stop him.
03:51All right.
03:52Tommy, what are you ashamed of?
03:56Well, mine will sound good until you see it.
03:59Years ago, I did a sketch for a dear friend and comedian from this show, Luke McGregor.
04:05And it's a framed picture of all of us.
04:07But have a look.
04:09Now, the reason I don't like having it out is obvious because it starts a conversation.
04:24And for the record, Hughesy's is the only one that's accurate.
04:28Now, can I say, and Luke did a great job with that show because it gets played in schools
04:33and it's been played in my own children's schools and they say, is that your dad?
04:41It is crazy to label the one man of colour in that photo as other.
04:52All right.
04:53Emma, what are you ashamed of?
04:55It's my full scale model skeleton.
04:58Oh.
04:59He sits in my house and the only place he fits is this chair at the end of my bed.
05:08I love his little cock chair.
05:09I think it's really cute.
05:11And also, when we have guests over, particularly like my husband's parents,
05:14when they come over, we don't want them to see a full scale skeleton
05:17because it'll scare them.
05:18So I put him in my car because there's no other place for him.
05:22What message are you sending by doing that?
05:24I am unwell.
05:25Yeah.
05:27OK.
05:28So, Dave.
05:29Yes.
05:30It's a pillow, which is a weird thing to hide because you shouldn't be ashamed of a pillow,
05:33should you?
05:34Um...
05:35So...
05:36That's my assignment.
05:38So that's, um...
05:39It doesn't look like a pillow.
05:40It looks like you're getting a massage.
05:42I'm...
05:46It does.
05:47It makes me feel a bit egocentric to have it on display when visitors come over.
05:52So...
05:53You find that egocentric?
05:54Yeah, I'm...
05:55Yeah.
05:56Husey, for those who don't know, when we're in a foreign city and we're walking at night
05:59together, he refuses to walk with us because if someone asks us for a photo and not him,
06:04he gets offended.
06:05And so...
06:06No.
06:07I don't get offended.
06:08I get sad.
06:09So...
06:10Which is different.
06:11So...
06:12And you're all very well known in your own rights and deserve recognition, but just,
06:17I don't want it around me.
06:18Uh...
06:19So, yeah.
06:20So, but anyway.
06:21I'm sick of people wanting to draw and paint me for the Archie board, alright?
06:25So...
06:26Stop it!
06:27This is all...
06:28Stop it!
06:29This is all great relatable stuff.
06:31No, because they pay you for the Archie board.
06:33You don't win.
06:34They don't even get in the final and then...
06:35I know.
06:36They put the painting up on eBay and I have to buy it.
06:39I know.
06:42How many?
06:43How many do you have?
06:44I've got about three at home.
06:52I've got to allocate some points here.
06:53As always, it's pretty challenging.
06:55Yeah.
06:56One point to Waka.
06:57OK.
06:58And I do encourage anyone who does run into Waka to have a chat about it.
07:01It's a great chat.
07:02No need to be ashamed of it.
07:03Chat about it.
07:06Don't talk to me.
07:07I don't ask about it anyway.
07:08Tommy Little, you get two points because you had HIV and you're referring to that as a negative
07:12and some people live with it.
07:13No, no, I'm referring to it.
07:14And it's nothing to be ashamed of.
07:15And I'd hate for anyone at home to feel terrible because of Tommy Little's poorly thought
07:21through comedy.
07:22I'm going to give three points to Emma because I feel like a skeleton.
07:27It's not that embarrassing.
07:29Four points to Lisa because I could smell the photo.
07:32But five points is going to go to Husey because that pillow is disgusting.
07:38All right.
07:39So we know what they're playing for.
07:40How are they playing for it, Lester Tom?
07:41For this next task, my tunnel vision really came in handy.
07:50Hi Emma.
07:51Oh my god.
07:52Hi Waka.
07:53Hello Tom.
07:54Hi Tom.
07:55Do you want me to come and read it next to you so we can be together?
07:57Yeah, if you want.
07:58Why not?
07:59Okay.
08:00Oh my god.
08:02Oh my god.
08:07Hi Waka.
08:08Hello Tom.
08:09Hi Tom.
08:10Do you want me to come and read it next to you so we can be together?
08:11Oh!
08:13Hi Waka!
08:14Hello Tom!
08:15Uh, hi Tom!
08:16Do you want me to come and read it next to you so we can be together?
08:19Yeah, if you want, why not?
08:20Okay!
08:22Ah! Oh my God!
08:24Oh my God!
08:26Oh shit!
08:30They just work on the show!
08:34Sneak the sticky taped balloon along the tunnel to Tom.
08:39Ah, it's about the balloon that was back there.
08:42Yep.
08:43The lights will turn off for five seconds every eight seconds.
08:47If Tom sees the balloon when the lights are on, you must start again.
08:51Whenever the lights come on, you must wave at Tom with both hands.
08:55If the balloon pops, you will be disqualified.
08:59Fastest to get the balloon to Tom wins.
09:02Your time starts now.
09:05Five seconds for eight seconds.
09:08Hang on, five seconds for eight seconds.
09:10Careful of the spooky people.
09:11Ah!
09:18What happened Tommy?
09:19Were you frightened to learn that there were other people working on the show?
09:23Embarrassingly, yes.
09:26Okay, who's down the shaft first?
09:28As the youngest contestants, they were probably mucking around with balloons most recently.
09:31It's Wakka and Emma.
09:33Okay.
09:34Might as well just give it a go, hey?
09:39Hi Tom.
09:41I can see the balloon.
09:42Please return to the start.
09:49Please wave, Emma.
09:50Hi Tom.
09:52You're not really waving to me.
09:57Faster.
09:58Faster.
10:02Wait, wait, wait, wait.
10:03I can see the balloon.
10:04Yeah.
10:05This is hard.
10:09I saw the balloon.
10:10Alright.
10:12Hi Tom.
10:13Hi Emma.
10:16Yes.
10:17I got it.
10:18I can put...
10:24Actually, I can move here at that time actually.
10:28Hi Tom.
10:29Hi Tom.
10:30Hi Tom.
10:31Hi Tom.
10:32Hi Tom.
10:33Hi Tom.
10:34He scared the shit out of me.
10:39Two minutes and 20 seconds left.
10:43Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it.
10:49Oh, it's the task again.
10:50Yeah.
10:53What?
10:56That's the balloon.
10:59What?
11:00All the information you need is in the dark.
11:02What's it?
11:08What is the way to reach Tom to win?
11:10Give me the balloon.
11:11Okay, okay.
11:13When you duck.
11:19Thanks Waka.
11:21Bye Tom.
11:22Bye Emma.
11:26Oh my God.
11:27It happened again.
11:34So Waka, what did you think the task was?
11:36You just had to run to the end, pretend you were pregnant and then rub your belly on...
11:41I thought it's finished.
11:42You know, I already arrived and then I say hello to Tom and I thought it's finished.
11:46So you thought it's finished because you said hello, so then you desperately rubbed your tummy on him.
11:49I touched the thumb too.
11:50Shake your hands there.
11:52So you took the plinth with you, Emma.
11:54How do you think that worked?
11:56It was pretty arduous on my big muscles.
12:00But I made it work.
12:01And so before that you were trying something else, you were just trying to stash them behind those pillars.
12:05Yeah, but like because of the nature of the balloon, it just kind of kept floating out.
12:09And so I didn't really...
12:10Honestly, I felt like it was the only option for me, what I ended up doing.
12:13Emma's plinth shuffling took 10 minutes and 17 seconds.
12:17And Waka, even after doing 99% of the task and then starting again, took exactly nine minutes.
12:26Okay, Emma and Waka have done well and earned two minutes on their Game Boy Color.
12:31We'll have a little rest, a few cordials and see you after this.
12:48Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:50We've got balloons, we've got the dark.
12:52Come on in, little children.
12:54That's right, our contestants are trying to sneak a balloon down a tunnel.
12:56If I see the balloon while the lights are on, the contestants must go back to the start.
13:01Up next, our older contestants.
13:03Did they struggle in the tunnel because they kept reaching for the light at the end of it?
13:06It's Lisa and Dave.
13:08I saw the balloon.
13:09Ah, yeah, I know.
13:10I'm starting again, yeah?
13:11Yes.
13:12Ah!
13:13I know, I saw the balloon.
13:14I saw the balloon.
13:15Oh, shit.
13:16It didn't.
13:17Ah!
13:18Thanks, Lisa.
13:19It popped.
13:20Your time starts now.
13:24I know, you saw the balloon.
13:27I saw the balloon.
13:31Oh shit, it didn't.
13:36Thanks Lisa.
13:37It popped.
13:38Your time starts now.
13:51Thanks Dave.
13:52Those rocks have not been eroded enough.
13:56Please walk back down the tunnel Dave.
13:59It's not my finest moment.
14:06So Dave, when the task is to not pop the balloon, that's key.
14:10Why did you think putting it against a wall of sharp rocks would help?
14:15Balloons are stronger in my day.
14:17For me, it was the last task of the day and it was beer o'clock earlier than they thought it was going to be.
14:26Lisa, I think I'm glad yours popped because you didn't seem to be very good at hiding the balloon.
14:31It was poking out all over the place.
14:33I know.
14:34And look, it does look worse.
14:35I took longer in between.
14:36It didn't happen that quickly, but basically I was really shit at it.
14:40Well, I think I'm kind of relieved actually.
14:41Yeah.
14:42Because they're both, you know, some of the oldest contestants on the show.
14:46And I just feel like if you did run further down the corridor and you discovered the crew that were working there.
14:54I'm just worried you could have had a heart scare.
14:57And I mean, it's spare a thought for the crew as well, Tom.
15:00Because obviously if Lisa comes down, the crew are going to scare Lisa.
15:03But if Husey comes down, the crew are going to shit themselves.
15:07So Lisa's balloon popped after two minutes and 35 seconds.
15:10I think Dave's effort, you could argue, what he did was indistinguishable from if the envelope had said pop the balloon.
15:17It popped after 24 seconds.
15:22You know, at least you offered us some brevity.
15:24Cashman, let's go.
15:25Like a helium balloon, the only way he knows how to have fun is to get really high.
15:29It's Tommy Little.
15:31Whenever the lights are on, you must flail both hands in the air and scream loudly.
15:37Your time starts now.
15:40Just making...
15:42Just making...
15:43Ah!
15:44Ah!
15:45Ah!
15:46Ah!
15:47Ah!
15:48Ah!
15:49Ah!
15:50Ah!
15:51Ah!
15:52Ah!
15:53Ah!
15:54Ah!
15:55Ah!
15:56Ah!
15:57Ah!
15:58Ah!
15:59Ah!
16:00Ah!
16:01Ah!
16:02Hello.
16:03Hello.
16:04Hi, Tommy.
16:05Hi, Tommy.
16:06Oh my God, don't pop.
16:07Oh!
16:08I saw the balloon.
16:09Please go back to the star.
16:10What the ?
16:11Ah!
16:12Ah!
16:13Ah!
16:14Ah!
16:15Ah!
16:16Ah!
16:17Ah!
16:18Ah!
16:19Ah!
16:20Ah!
16:21Ah!
16:22Ah!
16:23Ah!
16:24Ah!
16:25It's dark.
16:26It's dark.
16:27Take the balloon.
16:28Take the balloon.
16:29You savage.
16:31Thanks, Tommy.
16:32You can keep the lights on when I walk away.
16:34Excellent, it's that way.
16:35But...
16:38you!
16:44Yeah, so, Tommy, we accidentally worded your task a bit differently.
16:48Fairly discernible, though.
16:50And so, ultimately, you just did Waka's trick. You just stuffed it up your shirt.
16:54Well, to be fair, I didn't know it was Waka's trick, so, according to me, it was my trick.
17:00Sorry, I'll pick that up. Waka did Tommy's trick.
17:03And we both didn't read a task in the end.
17:06Well, Tommy, he flailed only in the literal sense. He took just three minutes and 52 seconds.
17:20That means Dave and Lisa get zero points, Emma gets three, Waka gets four, but Tommy wins the task with five points.
17:27And in terms of scores for the overall episode, we've got Emma on six, but Tommy's in the lead with seven points.
17:34All right, let's move on from this unholy service shaft.
17:41I'm just getting word I've been granted three wishes.
17:44I wish for a new task. I wish for it to be entertaining.
17:47And my third wish is for everyone to know how thankful I am for those first two wishes.
17:50It's a long way. I should have taken the bike.
18:09I jog because I love tasks with you. Just the usual.
18:16Flip a coin from the furthest distance into the wishing well.
18:20You must make a new wish with every flip.
18:23You have five minutes. Your time starts now.
18:26All right, easy one, simple one.
18:28World piece, because let's do a new world piece on an easy one.
18:32That's good. We're going well.
18:34Ten million bucks.
18:39I think the duck is laughing at your wish.
18:41I want to be cool.
18:42I wish it stopped looking at me like that.
18:46That's okay.
18:48I wish I had longer legs.
18:52I want to be popular.
18:55I wish I could see Coldplay live again.
18:58But my hair continues to be luscious.
19:00I want a helicopter.
19:04I want a plane.
19:06Oh, you mother.
19:09Did I get that one in?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Oh, yay. There's hope for me yet.
19:15What's that?
19:22Make the wish from your last successful flip come true.
19:27Truest made wish wins.
19:28You have 30 minutes.
19:30Your time starts now.
19:31I don't even remember what the wish was.
19:33It was my last successful flip.
19:34What did I say?
19:36Do you remember what your...
19:37Yes.
19:38We all remember what it was.
19:48So just to be clear, we want to see them make their last wish come true.
19:52But we haven't seen it yet.
19:53That's correct.
19:55We got an insight into how privileged Husey's life is.
19:58Most people just want their life to be better.
19:59Husey just wants to continue to have luscious hair.
20:04On the other hand, in Husey's defence, his first wish was world peace.
20:07Tommy's first wish was $10 million for himself.
20:11Okay, let's get this wish list cranking.
20:13First up, with the most Tommy Little wish imaginable, it's Tommy Little.
20:16What's the most cliche thing you think I would wish for?
20:20A bigger dick.
20:25Who cares about the rest of the task?
20:33How big is it at the moment?
20:34It's not big.
20:36That's actually good for this though.
20:37I can't just...
20:38I can't just get an erection on TV.
20:42Heat might help.
20:44No, but even then, comparatively, it'll make my balls appear bigger and my dick look even smaller.
20:50So you only ever measure the size of the penis relative to the balls?
20:54That's good.
20:55I don't know what's good about what I just said.
20:58I just thought I could make my balls smaller and so comparatively.
21:04If I put ice down my pants...
21:05Yes.
21:06...and you scare me...
21:07Yep.
21:08Is that television?
21:09I think that's fun.
21:10How long we got?
21:1216 minutes and 20 seconds.
21:13Okay.
21:14I figured you could scare me as a clown.
21:15Okay.
21:16And remember, somehow, this is to make my dick bigger.
21:19Okay, yep.
21:21Okay.
21:22Are you ready?
21:23Yep.
21:24Okay, close your eyes.
21:26Oh, my God!
21:27Ugh!
21:30Don't hurry up!
21:31Tommy, open your eyes in five seconds.
21:33Countdown.
21:34Five, four, three, two, one.
21:37Ah!
21:41Oh!
21:42Oh!
21:49How do you think you went?
21:50Not good, bro.
21:51I would, bro.
22:01So, Tommy, first of all, congratulations for being on brand.
22:04I'll have it known, getting an erection was the easy option and I chose not to take it.
22:08chose not to take it. So you were wanting to create the illusion of largeness via making
22:15something else smaller? Yes. And hoping I wasn't secretly aroused by clients. Okay, but was your
22:22wish that you wanted to make it seem bigger or that you wanted to make it bigger? Seem bigger?
22:29I think it was you wanted to make it bigger. Yeah. So I think it would have been unchanged in
22:35lengths. Perhaps even shrunk a bit just from the... It definitely would have shrunk. Did you see that
22:39tape measure? I was no way that big before. He has got us a little bit in that he's not allowed to
22:46measure it. Yeah. We kind of have to trust him to some degree for the measure. Yeah. I think Kashmir's
22:50right. You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one. Okay, they just told me we're going to take a
22:57break, but I think that's code for the show has been cancelled. Thanks to Tommy.
23:02Find out whether we're back or not soon.
23:19Welcome back to Taskmaster. We're in the throes of a task and wishing for a good outcome, aren't
23:24we, Tom? That's right. Tommy was first and we all know what Tommy did. Next up, like a stingy
23:31genie, she'll only make one wish come true. It's Emma Holland. I wish I knew what it meant
23:36to love. Why did I say that? I'm going to try and develop a love friendship with you in the next 30...
23:4326 minutes and 38 seconds. Okay. What's your favourite childhood memory? The only thing that's
23:47coming to mind is me winning cross-country. Okay, I feel like I could learn to love you if I saw you
23:53in a moment of pure joy. Okay. And I think a moment of pure joy would be you winning a race.
23:58Ready? Yeah. Set.
24:01Congratulations. Thank you. Well done. Wow. Now I know what it means to love.
24:05I feel like that's what nerd love looks like. You look like you met at a flash mob.
24:10That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me. Okay, so...
24:15You look like you met at a flash mob. That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me.
24:17Okay, so you wanted to know what it meant to love. And you're married. And I appreciate
24:24that. You look like you met at a flash mob.
24:26That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me. Okay, so you wanted to know what it meant
24:41to love. And you're married. And I presume your husband's watching the show. Yeah. And
24:50so that's awkward. It's like, you know, I'm like, I'm on the screen. I'm playing a character.
24:54You know, I'm not really me. Okay. Can we establish that you do love your husband?
24:59Oh, yeah. If you want to say that, sure. Yeah. All right, Cashman, I wish for us to see
25:05another go. Will there be wishful thinkers or bashful stinkers? It's Waka and Lisa.
25:10I want to eat steak tonight. I wish that I could cook a souffle. Yes! Steak!
25:19Do you smell? Do you know? Do you want to whisk the egg whites? I reckon you've
25:28probably got about ten minutes left of that, and then we'll be great. Ten minutes
25:31of this? Yep. So, 190 on the oven. Make a wish is great, but don't be too big. Small
25:39steps. Small dream. Makes you happy. Does it say anything in there about what to do when
25:44your arm starts getting sore? Hey, and just keep going. You're building up muscle. Just don't
25:48worry about the pain. Beat the egg yolks well. Oh, sorry. It's these you've got to beat, not
25:51those. It's all right. Just start on those. It'll be alright. It's good for you.
25:54I'm going to do a warm basin of warm water. Just chuck the eggs in there just to warm them.
26:04I can't find a sifter, and I'm just going to sift it through your hands. Hey, who does the
26:08dishes here? Um, me? Okay. Oh, my God. I accidentally poured water into the... Oh, my
26:14God! We've got to do it again. Do you reckon I get a couple of minutes back for the moment
26:29that you, um, put the water in my eggs? Unfortunately not. I'm sorry. It is just going to be a fast
26:35rise. I did everything perfect in this task. How do you feel? Deflated. Hope you eat steak tonight.
26:51Is this your philosophy in life, Waka? Yeah, and it looks good, right? Looks good. You know what?
27:03Because I didn't use air fryer. Better. Waka got very lucky. If I could read out some other wishes you made.
27:16I want to be cool. I want to be tall. I want to win Taskmaster. I want to travel more. I want to buy a house.
27:22I want to live longer. I want to be a genius. And then, I want to eat a steak tonight. That goes in.
27:34So, Lisa, I haven't eaten too many souffles that are just watery eggs.
27:38Yeah, and look, I was hoping my experience would be a little more like your experience with your steak.
27:43But I think we had, we had a few issues in the kitchen and it just, it turned to shit. And that's okay.
27:49And I would like to formally apologize. You did tell me to put the egg yolks down under the sink.
27:54But then I forgot about it and washed my hands. Do you know what? It was a mistake. And we make mistakes.
27:58And that's okay. That's all right. I really like you and I would love to cook more souffles with you one day.
28:04I really enjoyed your company in the kitchen. Thank you.
28:07I can see, like, I fell in love in that moment. A little bit like, like, you should have cooked with him because it was a moment.
28:14Yeah, I love Tom.
28:16This is being very sweet. If I could just read out a few of your other wishes, which are very sweet.
28:22I wish that all these little ducks would start quacking. I really wish that Tom Gleeson was here. I wish to be on a mountain where it's snowing in a warm cabin. I wish for my children to stay at home forever.
28:35I do. I like doing their washing.
28:40Lisa failed with the souffle. Did not achieve the wish. But it's kind of your fault, buddy.
28:45But no, I'm happy to cop it. I don't want him to take the blame for it. I'm happy to take one point.
28:49It was Tom's fault my dick didn't get bigger.
28:52Are you saying that your normal amount of horniness was reduced to a point where an erection didn't kick in?
29:04Where if I wasn't there, it would have. Shut up, dick shrinker.
29:09Okay, let's souffle our way to the final attempt, Tom Cashman.
29:13Will he be wishing poorly or wishing well? It's Dave Hughes.
29:16Ah, my wife doesn't buy too many cats. God for that.
29:22I've got to ring my wife and convince her not to buy any more cats.
29:25I'll convince her by saying, honey, I got scratched by a cat. I think I might have a cat infection.
29:30If my cat infected blood gets infected by another cat, it could be curtains for me.
29:35I've got feline aids.
29:37I feel like I need to send her a photo of a scratch.
29:41This is beautiful.
29:43I just got bitten by a stray cat.
29:47Now I don't feel great.
29:48Production's freaking out.
29:50I'm going to call it.
29:51Come on.
29:52Come on.
29:53You've got an answer.
29:54Your husband's bleeding to death.
29:56Hi.
29:57You've caused 042.
29:58All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
30:00I don't want to worry you, honey.
30:02I don't.
30:03I'm not here to worry you.
30:04But my arm's starting to blow up.
30:05I've got an issue.
30:06They said contact next of kin.
30:07I'm going to ring one more time.
30:08Just come on.
30:09And if that's it.
30:10Hey.
30:11Babe.
30:12In class, are you going to the doctors or hospital?
30:14I just saw your messages.
30:15I don't know.
30:16It's weird.
30:17I don't know.
30:18I'm guessing you wouldn't feel sick straight away from something like that, but I still
30:20think you should definitely go get it checked out.
30:22All right, all right, baby, all right.
30:23My husband got bitten by a diseased animal.
30:25So you're going to go to the doctors or the hospital?
30:27Yeah, we'll sort it out.
30:28Yep, I'll talk to you later.
30:29All right, babe.
30:30All right.
30:31Everyone wants to hear how you're going to go.
30:32Yeah, I'll talk to you.
30:33Yep, all right.
30:35I think I've done pretty well there.
30:37She took it very seriously.
30:38Are you going to call her and clarify?
30:41Nah, she'd be all right.
30:51You seem pretty happy just to let your wife worry from then on, Husey.
30:55Yeah.
30:56I didn't want any more cats, guys.
30:58I honestly didn't.
30:59We had one cat at the time, so I wanted to keep it that way.
31:01So your wish was to not have any more cats?
31:03Yeah.
31:04How many cats do you have now?
31:05I've got three now.
31:06So...
31:13So this is becoming rather easy to score, because I feel like straight away it's obvious that
31:18Husey's wish didn't come true.
31:19OK.
31:20And also Tommy Little's wish didn't come true.
31:23Coulda, coulda, coulda.
31:25So I'm going to give them all one.
31:26OK.
31:27I'm going to give two points to Lisa, because it was your fault that the souffle failed.
31:31Emma Holland, it kind of came true, so I'll give her two points.
31:34OK.
31:35But it definitely came true for Waka.
31:36So five points!
31:37Yes!
31:38So one, one, two, two, five for Waka.
31:43OK.
31:44OK.
31:45It's time to take the TV version of a sleep and go to a break.
31:48Have some little sweet dreams, and we'll see you in the morrow.
31:51Welcome back to Classmaster, where we just donated all the coins from our wishing well to Tom Cashman's charity of choice, Nerds Against Wedgies.
32:15This next one has smoke, so you know it's fire.
32:18Hey, matey boy.
32:35Hi Dave.
32:37I have no idea what's this.
32:38Is this a smoke machine?
32:40Yeah.
32:43As opposed to you.
32:44A smoke show.
32:48I find this space really creepy.
32:51Oh.
32:52I just wanted to tell you that.
32:53Unveil something unsophisticated with this smoke machine.
32:56You must emit smoke in 20 minutes.
32:58And your unveil begins when the smoke clears.
33:02Most unsophisticated unveiling wins.
33:05Your time starts now.
33:07Do you consider yourself to be a very sophisticated person?
33:09No.
33:10No.
33:11New.
33:12I try very hard not to be.
33:14What's the most sophisticated you've ever felt?
33:16I had my hair in a bun once.
33:18Yeah, that was a pretty good day.
33:20I'm trying really hard to think of something that just doesn't involve bums, farts, boobs, dicks.
33:26I think I'm going to build something really ugly.
33:28My rig's not in great shape.
33:30It's too sophisticated.
33:32But yours looks savage.
33:35I reckon you could be nude eating a kebab.
33:39I'm going to be back.
33:40Well, no.
33:41You'll be back.
33:42It'll come.
33:43I don't know.
33:44We'll find out.
33:45So, Tommy, what about Lesser Tom's rig makes you think unsophisticated?
33:54A fair bit about it.
33:57We actually had quite an honest conversation and Tom looked me in the eyes and he said,
34:02out of the two of us, I have the comedy body.
34:05Okay.
34:06Well, who's smoking up first?
34:08Attempting to be unsophisticated, it's two of the most polite people I've ever met.
34:12Emma and Lisa.
34:13Oh, my God.
34:14Oh, my God.
34:43I have to leave.
34:44I'm so sorry.
34:45I just have to go.
34:46It is so bad.
34:47Voila.
34:48Do you like it?
34:49I'm really sorry.
34:50I'm sorry.
34:51I'm sorry to you, Tom.
34:52I'm sorry to Tom.
34:53I'm sorry I couldn't make it go any higher.
34:54This is a chicken and he's using the cutler in the wrong hands and he's got a really big
35:01dong.
35:02And I reckon that's pretty unsophisticated.
35:03I was trying to make the taskmaster have an erection because I thought it was really unsophisticated.
35:10Thanks, Emma.
35:11Can I go?
35:12Thanks, Tom.
35:13Can I go now, please?
35:14I'm so embarrassed.
35:15I'm so embarrassed.
35:16I'm so embarrassed.
35:17Oh, my God.
35:18Oh, my God.
35:19The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa, brought a lot of pleasure to me.
35:20I'm so glad.
35:21I mean, I didn't want to be displeasure.
35:22I'm so glad.
35:23I didn't want to be displeasure.
35:24I did want to make the taskmaster have an erection because I thought it was really
35:25unsophisticated.
35:26Thanks, Emma.
35:27Can I go?
35:28Can I go?
35:29Okay.
35:30Thanks, Tom.
35:31Can I go now, please?
35:32I'm so embarrassed.
35:33I'm so embarrassed.
35:34Oh, my God.
35:35The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa, brought a lot of pleasure to me.
35:46I'm so glad.
35:47I mean, I didn't want to be disrespectful to you.
35:49And I didn't want to go that way.
35:51I didn't want to go to the Tommy Little way.
35:53I think a lot of people would be offended by what you just said, but I don't want you
35:58to go my way either.
35:59You're at least, I mean this with all my heart, you're above it.
36:04Emma, I feel like you buried the lead because you were worried about your creation having
36:11cutlery the wrong hand, which is very unsophisticated, but I feel like it's trumped by having its cock
36:18out.
36:19You know what?
36:21I think it speaks for itself.
36:24It was the last task of a really long day and I had lost my mind.
36:29Okay.
36:30All right.
36:31Well, onwards.
36:32More.
36:33Next up, being discourteous, it's another one of the most polite people I've ever met
36:36and Dave Hughes.
36:37It's Wakka and Dave Hughes.
36:39The most unsophisticated thing in the world, salt.
36:48I'm a fish.
36:49I'm a fish, but I don't like being fish because fish is unsophisticated.
36:56Some call it the essence of life.
37:00Others call it things bogans put on food before they taste.
37:04I hate being water.
37:05I want to be on the ground and then play very sophisticated sports.
37:09Golf.
37:24Golf is boring.
37:26I'm going back to the water.
37:29I done it.
37:30I did it.
37:35So I see what you're going for, Hughes, the idea of like putting salt on something,
37:48seasoning food before trying it.
37:49Yes.
37:50My wife gets angry at me for doing it.
37:52Okay.
37:53I really enjoy it.
37:54So you know what?
37:55You've got to die of something.
37:56So let's go.
37:57Now, Wakka.
37:58Yes.
37:59What the f*** was that?
38:00I just, I've been, I've been searching and looking and really polite to this point, but
38:10we're at episode four and I just got to be honest.
38:13I don't know what the f*** was going on.
38:15Good question.
38:16Yeah.
38:17So for us, fish.
38:18They had the technology and they have a language, you know, fish is less than human.
38:24Human, you know.
38:25Oh, so in terms of evolution.
38:27Yeah.
38:28And also that, I don't know what's it called.
38:30A trike?
38:31I use that.
38:32Oh yeah, yeah.
38:33So that's an unsophisticated mode of transport.
38:35Compared to other, you know, cars or trains, you know.
38:38Yeah.
38:39Okay.
38:40Good.
38:41See?
38:42That's true.
38:43See?
38:44I'm not sure that's the laughter of agreement.
38:45I think that's the laughter of bamboozlement.
38:47I know.
38:49All right.
38:50Time for an ad break.
38:51Why not do the sophisticated thing and just sit there watching them?
38:54Acknowledging the time and the effort that some advertising schmuck put into trying to
38:59coax money from you.
39:01Back soon.
39:02Welcome back to Taskmaster where our female contestants have just debased themselves with
39:21jokes about dongs.
39:22Yes, we're doing a task that asks for an unsophisticated unveiling with a smoke machine.
39:27Being unsophisticated should be a real stretch for him.
39:29Last up, it's Smoke Show Tummy Little.
39:32It's real good.
39:47Keep going.
39:48Keep going.
39:49Keep going.
39:50Keep going.
39:51Keep going.
39:52Keep going.
39:53Keep going.
39:54Keep going.
39:55Keep going.
39:56Keep going.
39:57Keep going.
39:58Keep going.
39:59Keep going.
40:00That's probably enough.
40:01Yeah.
40:02Great.
40:03Thanks, Doc.
40:04Okay.
40:06First question I have to ask is about your underpants.
40:16medical Tommy wanted me to look nude and so dressed me in skin colored
40:24underpants so they could blur it but then just didn't blur it sorry to be
40:29clear I didn't mean to stitch you up like that I was as shocked as you at no
40:34blur it did make it look like you were just wearing it depends
40:39God okay well I have to score this yes no one ever thinks about what it's like
40:44to be a taskmaster when you have to deal with all this shit okay well I feel
40:50like all the unveilings were kind of the same they were just emerged from the
40:53smoke in pretty much the same way so it really just comes down to the
40:55sophistication okay the most unsophisticated I think well I think it
41:00was you I mean you nude eating a kebab I just don't want to see that ever again
41:05so I think it's five to Tommy Little okay and then starting at the other end out
41:13of all of them it's the most sophisticated and that's just watching
41:16Hughes eat some salt okay
41:19so I'm one am I yeah you're one yeah well it's your show so whatever okay two for
41:27Walker three for Emma and four for Lisa because they I feel like they had similar
41:30vibes there to unsophisticated reveals but I felt more men my erection was better I
41:35felt well yeah I felt I was I was going for flaccid I just want to make that quite clear
41:41so was I
41:42yeah so I'm giving four points to Lisa because I felt personally targeted so I
41:52felt like my feelings were hurt so I want to reward that okay so that's one
41:58point for Dave two for Waka three for Emma four for Lisa and five points for Tommy
42:01Little and in terms of the overall episode there's only four points separating the
42:09top four with Tommy out in front with 13 points all right everyone up to the stage
42:18for the final task of the show all right Lisa Tom you're my man on the ground up
42:27there what's going on Lisa is about to read a task okay land a sandbag on the
42:33scoreboard then say a word with the number of letters equal to your landed score oh
42:41okay your word must begin with your randomly assigned letter if you fail to say a correct
42:51word within three seconds of landing you will get zero points for that round there will be three
42:57rounds most points wins all right this is good come on your first Lisa okay
43:02that's correct
43:12that's correct
43:13fucker L
43:16litter that's correct
43:21Emma please step up to the map see
43:26a cataract that is incorrect it has eight letters come on Tommy Tommy yeah it's a six follow that is
43:41correct Dave please step up to the map H well hermaphrodite this would be huge it's
43:54gotta be close hermaphrodite has 13 characters oh that's hurtful on to the second round Lisa okay
44:04E E light that's incorrect this is hard F seven flexible that's incorrect that's eight characters
44:21oh good effect Emma are you ready C you've landed on the arrow you get zero points
44:31some of you are you ready H seven heavenly that's incorrect damn that's eight letters
44:40oh Dave please stand on the map A that's ten characters anachronism
44:49that's incorrect oh how many 11 letters
44:56what's anachronism oh it's oh I don't really know all right well uh if my random letter was B then the
45:05number would be five and my word would be break because we're about to have one see you in a bit
45:10welcome back to taskmaster no need for me to chew your ear off Tom Cashman can you set the stage we're
45:28down to the final round and the devil is at play because Dave and Emma on zero but Lisa Tommy and
45:33Wacka are all on six it's six six six going into the final round it's anyone's game Lisa please step up to
45:40the mat why ten letters yellowish incorrect that's nine letters Wacka F three letters four correct
45:59Emma in at seven characters neater that's incorrect that's six letters Tommy you need four to take the lead T
46:16four letters Tramp correct Dave Tommy is on ten you are on zero B gone off the end zero points for Dave okay
46:36get down here okay so how did the scores end up for the live task well Dave unfortunately overthrew on
46:50that last one so he ended up with zero points along with Emma then we had Lisa with six points Wacka
46:54with nine but Tommy won the task with ten points that's two points for Emma and Dave three for Lisa four
47:02for Wacka and Tommy with five points won the task okay so let's get the final scores for the episode
47:10Cashman well he won spelling and he's won the episode it's 18 points for Tommy all right congratulations
47:18Tommy get up there and score yourself a sweet skeleton okay well what have we learned Wacka taught us the
47:27first rule of the airfryer is don't talk about the airfryer and we learned lesser Tom's rig is exactly what
47:34you'd think it would be hip hip hooray for Tommy thanks for watching and see you on the next one
47:41welcome back to taskmaster it's our halfway point of the season
48:01you