Malcolm In The Middle Season 3 Episode 10 Lois's Makeover
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00:00Once a week, Mom cleans out the fridge.
00:02Anything that doesn't actually have something growing on it gets thrown in a casserole and served for dinner.
00:10Did we have spaghetti or Chinese food on Thursday?
00:13Neither.
00:17Ah! No digging!
00:23Sunday, Saturday, Friday...
00:27It finally happened!
00:29The fifth level of this week's leftover parfait is last week's leftover parfait.
00:35Yes, no, maybe.
00:40I don't know.
00:42Can you repeat the question?
00:46You're not the boss of me now.
00:49You're not the boss of me now.
00:52You're not the boss of me now.
00:54And you're not so big.
00:57You're not the boss of me now.
01:00You're not the boss of me now.
01:03You're not the boss of me now.
01:06And you're not so big.
01:10Life is unfair.
01:13All right, everyone.
01:16These are your secret shopper evaluations.
01:20And I'm going to be meeting with each one of you individually this week so we can discuss how we can make improvements.
01:29Look forward to it, sir.
01:34Secret shoppers?
01:35They sent people in to spy on us?
01:37What's next?
01:38Cavity searches on the loading dock?
01:40Come on, Craig.
01:41It's no big deal.
01:42Companies do this kind of thing all the time.
01:45But it's not fair!
01:47How can I be expected to work hard if I don't even know they're watching me?
01:52Craig, will you calm down?
01:53Look, it's like a paragraph.
01:55Employees seem very capable.
01:57Efficient, polite.
01:58Personal hygiene was questionable.
02:00Questionable?
02:01What are they talking about?
02:03My height...
02:05Slovenly?
02:10They think I'm slovenly?
02:11You're right, Lois.
02:12This is ridiculous.
02:13Apathetic, lazy, overweight?
02:16What planet are these people from?
02:19I'm taking a fiver.
02:23There's electricity in the air tonight, folks!
02:27I'm open!
02:28I'm open!
02:29We've been playing basketball with Dad since we were old enough to walk.
02:32Come on!
02:33What are you going to do, Reese?
02:34I'm open!
02:35What are you going to do, huh?
02:41It's another basket for Hal!
02:43He's on fire!
02:46We're 0 and 342.
02:48We're starting to get a little discouraged.
02:50Ha ha ha!
02:51E-point!
02:54Hey, you take it out.
02:57This is our last chance.
02:59What do we do?
03:00Give it to me!
03:03Let's try another give and go.
03:05Dewey, you go into the basket and run around the pole.
03:13Pass!
03:14I'm open!
03:15I'm open!
03:16You're all stolen by the halonade!
03:20He shoots!
03:21He scores!
03:23Hallelujah!
03:25Ha ha!
03:27Oh, it's a great game, boys.
03:28Good hustle.
03:31I hate this.
03:32If I wanted to be humiliated, I could take a math test.
03:35Wait a minute.
03:36Look.
03:37Yeah!
03:38Dewey, get away from my ball!
03:39No!
03:40He's making baskets.
03:41He's never been able to do that before.
03:42You're right.
03:43That's how we're going to be, Dad.
03:44With Dewey.
03:45With Dewey.
03:46All right.
03:47Which one of you filthy thieves has been rooting through my undies?
03:49What are you talking about?
03:50I'm saying one of you went through my footlocker.
03:51And ate all my jerky!
03:52It wasn't us, Artie.
03:53It looks like a rat did it.
03:54Yeah, look at those teeth marks.
03:55Well, let's not jump to any conclusions.
03:56Think about it logically.
03:57If the rat was so filled up, I'd have to do it.
03:58You're right.
03:59You're right.
04:00That's how we're going to be, Dad.
04:01With Dewey.
04:03All right.
04:04Well, which one of you filthy thieves has been rooting through my undies?
04:08What are you talking about?
04:09I'm saying one of you went through my footlocker.
04:12And ate all my jerky!
04:14It wasn't us, Artie.
04:15It looks like a rat did it.
04:16Yeah, look at those teeth marks.
04:19Let's not jump to any conclusions.
04:21Think about it logically.
04:23If the rat was so filled up with Artie's jerky, would he be chewing on Francis' pillow right now?
04:30What?
04:32Get him!
04:34He died, Herman!
04:36Ah!
04:37Ah!
04:38Ah!
04:39Ah!
04:40Ah!
04:41Ah!
04:42Ah!
04:43Ah!
04:44Ah!
04:45Ah!
04:46Ah!
04:47Ah!
04:52Wow.
04:53Francis, you killed it.
04:55And it did eat your jerky.
04:59Okay, we've got you double bagged of paper and plastic.
05:02That hair mousse that I recommended is bagged separately with your other sundries.
05:07And I picked up your film at the photo counter.
05:10Can I take this out to your car for you?
05:12You don't have to do that for me.
05:14Nonsense.
05:15That's my job here at Lucky Aid.
05:18Oh!
05:19Oh!
05:21Pay it forward.
05:26Hey, Lois.
05:27Mr. Fisher, I wanted to talk to you about that secret shopper report.
05:30I think that they must have come in on the day that my son Dewey tried to cook his own breakfast.
05:35And by the time I put out the fire...
05:36Lois, this isn't personal.
05:38Well, it's...
05:40It's not like I'm...
05:42Lois, there is nothing for you to freak out over.
05:47And we have people in the company with the skills and the experience to help you.
05:54Wow, Lois, this is, like, gonna be so fun!
05:59Okay, let's try it one more time.
06:05Ha-ha!
06:06Yes!
06:07Perfect!
06:08I don't have any idea what hit him.
06:09He's going down.
06:10You think he'll cry?
06:11Oh, yeah.
06:12He'll cry.
06:13You know, you have really pretty eyes.
06:14You shouldn't hide them behind no makeup.
06:16This is wrong.
06:17I do my job.
06:18I do my job well.
06:19I dress appropriately, and I am clear.
06:21You know, you have really pretty eyes.
06:26You shouldn't hide them behind no makeup.
06:28This is wrong.
06:30I do my job.
06:31I do my job well.
06:32I dress appropriately, and I am clear.
06:34That should be enough.
06:37Or you could be pretty.
06:39Put your chin up.
06:40What do they want from me?
06:42I take care of three kids.
06:44I run a house.
06:45I work 38 hours a week, and they think I should look like some supermodel just to ring up some guy's rash ointment?
06:51You tell me how that's fair!
06:53You know, Lois, it's okay to be scared of change.
06:58I mean, my boyfriend freaked when I got my driver's license.
07:03Don't worry.
07:04I'll take good care of you.
07:06Oh, God, Hal, you wouldn't believe what happened to me at work today.
07:11I had to spend five hours with this stuff on my face in front of everybody.
07:17I've never been so humiliated at all.
07:20You're the most beautiful woman that ever was.
07:46Or ever could be.
07:49Hey, Francis, I heard you killed a rat yesterday.
08:03Is that right?
08:04What?
08:05Yes, sir.
08:06He's the one.
08:07Good.
08:08I, uh, I got a rat problem in my bunk.
08:11I'd be much obliged if you took care of it.
08:13Oh, I don't think...
08:14He would be honored.
08:15We both would.
08:16Great.
08:17What are you doing?
08:22I don't know anything about killing rats.
08:24Who cares?
08:25Do you like mopping?
08:27Do you want to see what they start tracking in here during bear season?
08:38Come home, baby.
08:39Drink it off.
08:40What, you think I'm scared of you?
08:42I changed your diapers.
08:43Woo-hoo!
08:44Dewey.
08:45You made a basket.
08:46Good for you!
08:49All right!
08:50Yeah!
08:51Yeah!
08:52Yeah!
08:53Yeah!
08:54Yeah!
08:55Yeah!
08:56Yeah!
08:57Yeah!
08:58Yeah!
08:59What are you looking at?
09:02Yeah!
09:03Huh?
09:04Oh!
09:05Huh?
09:06Yeah!
09:07Yeah!
09:08Yeah!
09:09Oh!
09:10Yeah!
09:11Alright!
09:12Yeah!
09:13Yeah!
09:14Yeah!
09:15What are you looking at?
09:18Yeah!
09:19Yeah!
09:20Yeah!
09:24Ugh!
09:25Ugh!
09:26Unnh!
09:27What?
09:28Ugh!
09:30Sorry, son.
09:40Hey!
09:44Rejected!
09:53Good game, boys!
09:55Good game?
09:57You fouled us in every play.
09:58Boys, part of the game is learning how to lose gracefully.
10:03I mean, if I've taught you anything, it's how to be a good sportsman.
10:15I guess a rat could be coming out of this hole here.
10:19What are you going to do?
10:20We could try to lure him out.
10:23Anyone have a cookie or anything?
10:28It worked.
10:43You did it!
10:45I did it.
10:48Well, well, kill him!
10:50Go ahead.
10:52I thought it was amazing, Francis.
11:07You have the gift.
11:09Hiya, Lewis.
11:15I was at the coffee place and just thought I'd pick you up a latte.
11:19Thanks.
11:22What are you doing, Lewis?
11:25You shouldn't be lifting those heavy boxes.
11:28I always do it.
11:30I'll take care of it.
11:30Hold it a second.
11:35You've watched me pick up boxes every day for four years.
11:39Suddenly now you want to help me?
11:40Why?
11:42I don't know.
11:42I just thought...
11:43No, you look me in the face and you tell me why!
11:46I don't know.
11:48I'm sorry.
11:50I'm just going to go get lunch, okay?
11:52Can I get you anything?
11:56Shut up.
12:14How'd it go?
12:16Well, Buzz, I don't want to bore you with the technical details,
12:19so let's just say that Cabin 15 is once again rodent-free.
12:25Yeah!
12:28Three cheers for Francis!
12:30Hip-hip!
12:31Hooray!
12:33What are you fools cheering about?
12:37You caught yourself a couple of tiny rats.
12:41Whoop-dee-dee.
12:44You ain't nothing until you take out a real rat.
12:47You ain't nothing until you dance in the moonlight with rosemary.
12:55He-he-he-he-he-he.
12:57Who?
12:57They ain't told you about rosemary, eh?
13:01He-he-he-he-he.
13:03Well, she is the biggest, ugliest, meanest rat north of Kotzebue.
13:08Lives right here, under this here building.
13:13Come on, rosemary ain't real.
13:17Yeah, she's just a creepy old myth, like the Stonehenge or boxing kangaroos.
13:24She's as real as you and me.
13:27So, what do you say, rat boy?
13:32You think you're man enough?
13:34He-he-he-he-he-he.
13:36Old man, you better start building a very small coffin.
13:41So, Reese, that's the pick here, and I get the dish off from Dewey.
13:49See?
13:49We just keep moving the ball around the perimeter.
13:52He can't cover all three of us, no matter how dirty he plays.
13:55Wow!
14:02Very nice!
14:04Great ball movement.
14:06It's looking really good.
14:08I'm impressed.
14:09I'd be really worried if I didn't have my patented fall-away jump shot.
14:14Woo!
14:14Ow!
14:15Ow!
14:16Ow!
14:17Ow!
14:17My ankle!
14:19Ow!
14:20I twisted my ankle.
14:22Oh, help me into the house, boys.
14:25Sure, Dad.
14:33We'll help you.
14:37Ow!
14:38Oh, jeez.
14:41Oh!
14:43Oh!
14:54Hey, boys.
14:55What's up?
14:55Not much.
14:57How's the leg?
14:58I think it's feeling a little better.
15:00It's interesting how you just happened to hurt your leg.
15:03What does that mean?
15:05I don't know.
15:06It's just interesting.
15:09Yeah.
15:10Interesting.
15:11All right, what are you boys getting at?
15:12Just said some people are willing to go to pretty drastic lengths just to avoid being beaten by their kids.
15:18This is about basketball?
15:19This is about basketball?
15:20You think I faked this because I didn't want to play you in basketball?
15:25All right, you know what?
15:26I'm going to play you right now, like this, and I'm still going to mop the floor with you.
15:32That's okay.
15:33You rest.
15:34We can wait.
15:36Yeah, it's got to heal sometime, right?
15:39Here you go.
15:44Well, I had to move a couple dozen bags of charcoal briquettes, but I found the slightly darker blue one that you wanted.
15:52I got a few spider bites, but none of that matters as long as you, the customer, go home satisfied.
15:57You're welcome.
16:02Excuse me.
16:04Where are your dog toys?
16:07Yes, ma'am.
16:08They're right there, right behind you.
16:10Those are leashes.
16:13If I could direct your attention three inches to the right.
16:17I want that little hot dog up on top.
16:22Sure thing.
16:23I see we have one just like it right here.
16:28That isn't what I asked for.
16:30This has mustard on it.
16:32Peek-a-boo doesn't eat mustard.
16:37Well, I can see the one up there has mustard on it, too, and since it's not even real mustard.
16:42Are you going to give me what I asked for?
16:47Certainly.
16:53There you go.
17:06Thanks for shopping, Luckyade.
17:08This has mustard on it.
17:11That's what I tried to tell you, you old bat!
17:14Now you're going to take it to your dog and make it like it!
17:17Oh!
17:18Oh!
17:18Oh!
17:18Oh!
17:19Oh!
17:19Oh!
17:20Oh!
17:21Oh!
17:21Oh!
17:21Oh!
17:22Oh!
17:23Oh!
17:23Hey, Lois.
17:31Listen, I'm real sorry to do this to you, but my brother got hockey tickets for tonight,
17:35and I know I said I'd close up for you.
17:37Tom, I've already rearranged my schedule.
17:40Besides, I covered for you last week.
17:43Well, I'm sorry, Lois.
17:44Gee, Tom, I really don't know what to do.
17:56Isn't there any way at all you could be just a little late for your game?
18:02Well, I guess so.
18:03Well, I guess so.
18:04Thanks.
18:05Thanks.
18:06Yeah.
18:07There is!
18:11Here you are now, Matt!
18:12My friend!
18:13Hello!
18:14How about this?
18:14Yeah.
18:15I'll do it.
18:16Yes.
18:16Well, I'll do it again.
18:19I don't know.
18:49Get your sneakers, Faker.
18:56Project!
19:01Yeah?
19:02If you die, can I have your pillow?
19:06I already promised it to Artie.
19:11Gotcha.
19:25I found those tracks!
19:36Hey, you hear that?
19:39Hey, did you hear that? He said I'd get his pillow!
19:42Wait a minute! I see something!
19:56Oh! I see a baby rat!
20:01No wonder Rosemarie's so fierce! She's a mother!
20:05Well, go ahead and kill it!
20:08I don't want to kill a baby! It's a rat!
20:12Alright!
20:19Hey, this wood is rotten!
20:21Just a second! I think I can get to it!
20:25Let's go!
20:26Let's go!
20:27Let's go!
20:28Let's go!
20:29Let's go!
20:31Let's go!
20:32Let's go!
20:33Let's go!
20:35Let's go!
20:41let's go!
20:42Yes!
20:58Yes!
21:01That's 14-13. We're up. Game point.
21:06Well, I have to say, you boys have put up a good fight,
21:08which is just going to make it all the more painful when I crush you like bugs.
21:25Scored! Yeah! Woo!
21:30Ha! Tie game. Next basket wins. My ball.
21:38We have to do the play.
21:41We can't. We only practice it once.
21:44It won't work.
21:45It will work. We just gotta believe.
21:48It's go time, ladies.
21:51Yeah!
21:54Yeah!
21:56Yeah!
21:58Go ahead and kick it hard with me.
22:03If you think I can't wait, you'll see.
22:08Go ahead and kick it hard with me.
22:11Just get him, get him.
22:12Ja!
22:13Yeah!
22:14Yeah!
22:15Yeah!
22:16Just get him, get him!
22:17It won't work, yeah!
22:20Future's now, old man.
22:50Hey, Lois.
22:57I just want to thank you for the terrific job you've done this week.
23:02You have shown a marked improvement in both your performance and your attitude.
23:07That's nice of you to say, Mr. Fisher, but really, I haven't done anything different.
23:11There's that great attitude.
23:14Anyhow, I think we're going to have an opening pretty soon in customer service.
23:18Really?
23:19It wouldn't be much of a raise in pay, but you wouldn't have to work any more late nights.
23:24That would be great.
23:26Now, you would have to dress up your appearance a little.
23:31Excuse me?
23:32You know, just a little more feminine.
23:36More feminine?
23:37Well, you're on the right track, just a little more.
23:46Can I let you know tomorrow?
23:47Sure thing.
23:49Damn.
24:02Damn.
24:08Hi.
24:09Hello.
24:09Hello.
24:12Can I help you?
24:13I don't know, maybe.
24:15What'll it cost me?
24:17What?
24:18Is it cheaper if we use my car or do we have to get a room?
24:24You think I'm a hooker?
24:26No.
24:27You do.
24:29You think I'm a hooker?
24:36Come with me.
24:39A prostitute.
24:40This guy was convinced I was a prostitute.
24:44You know, ever since I got your stupid report, I have been feeling like everything I ever believed in was wrong.
24:51Well, I think this little incident gives both of us a much-needed clarity.
24:55I'm going to go home now.
24:57I'm going to wash my face.
24:58And when I come to work tomorrow, I'm going to do the same extraordinarily good job I've been doing all these years.
25:04I'm going to do it in my 99-cent mascara, and if the mood strikes me, a hair clip, and that's it.
25:11And if that's not good enough for you, so be it.
25:22Well, Steve, are you going to tell my sister or should I?
25:28Why did I...
25:31This place is a pigsty.
25:34Hal, will you hand me the...
25:39Hal?
26:04Hal?
26:09Hal?
26:21Hal?