Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 8 Therapy
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00:00Well, I just won't have one.
00:06No, no, no, no, I won't have one.
00:08And you and Dewey can split one.
00:09That's not fair to Dewey.
00:13Forget it.
00:14We'll just let the boys have them.
00:28So cool, I'm...
00:29Yes, no, maybe, I don't know.
00:37Can you repeat the question?
00:41You're not the boss of me now.
00:44You're not the boss of me now.
00:47You're not the boss of me now.
00:49And you're not so big.
00:52You're not the boss of me now.
00:55You're not the boss of me now.
00:58You're not the boss of me now.
01:00And you're not so big.
01:05Life is unfair.
01:07As near as I can figure, my school was created for the sole purpose of making me miserable.
01:17Today, in crowboying class, we start medieval week.
01:25Where's your tester costume?
01:25In my backpack?
01:26I wear it at school.
01:27Put it on.
01:28I didn't stay up all night making it for my health.
01:31Bells.
01:32Bells.
01:33Oh, I forgot the bells.
01:34He looks so adorable.
01:35You know what I love about medieval week?
01:36Is that you can spot the crowboys from super far away, and they jingle when you hit them.
01:51Reese.
01:52Leave your brother alone.
01:54Although you are asking for it.
01:58Okay, ready?
01:59Ready?
02:00Oh.
02:01Where?
02:02Why don't you just put a bull's eye on my chest and get it over with?
02:06Oh, you look fine.
02:07And Reese will tell me if you take these off.
02:13When I was six, I dove in a pool and my trunks came off.
02:27God, I wish I was there right now.
02:29All right, children, it's time to begin the harvest dance.
02:33I demonstrate myself, but being in my third trimester, I don't want to risk the placenta
02:40separating from my uterine wall.
02:43Oh, come on.
02:46We studied this.
02:48There's nothing dirty about the miracle of life, and we should all be able to discuss
02:53this openly.
02:54Who's the father?
02:56Does he work here?
02:58All right, you know, I told you we are not playing this game again.
03:03All right, everyone, gather their dance props, please.
03:08Gabney, don't forget you have a dentist appointment.
03:10Aw.
03:12Okay, Your Holiness, would you start the gay, as in happy, harvest procession?
03:25Let's kick it!
03:26Let's kick it!
03:30Let's kick it!
03:31Let's kick it!
03:32Let's kick it!
03:33Let's kick it!
03:35Let's kick it!
03:43Well, I've done an healing magic Chasic.
03:48There's no one with the same rock, apparently.
03:53Now, I'm not aware, I'm not aware of any morale feeilds.
03:58appointments every week. These two look fine to me. He's not going to the dentist. He's going to
04:05the dentist. It's the secret code for the school therapist. How come you know that? You see this
04:15ring too? Yes, I'm currently seeing Miss Gilbert. My mother and stepfather suggested it as a
04:21preemptive strike against my anger displacement tendencies. But ultimately, therapy was my
04:29decision. Not theirs. Mine. It was voluntary. Okay. Yes, I am. My fear of rejection is virtually
04:42gone. And my self-worth is at an all-time high.
04:46I really think you're going to like laundry duty, Francis. Basically, you wash it, you dry
04:56it, you fold it. And you want me to go through that again? No, twice was good. Actually, I
05:03don't mind doing laundry. Mom always thought she was punishing me, but I always found it
05:08relaxing. Jeez, this detergent is awful. This is way too coarse for our cotton blends. Wasn't
05:17this stuff banned? Yeah, this is what we use. You see, there's an arrangement with the distributor.
05:23We take this crappy soap off his hands and he makes it worth our while. The Alabama opera?
05:32There's plenty more where that came from. No, thanks. Upper's not your thing. That's fine. This
05:40guy's got connections. Cords of firewood, tractor shell, free burgers from Churchill's when you
05:48buy a burger of equal or greater value. Don't you think Marlon Academy is hard enough without
05:53our own guys selling us out? I mean, look at these. You ever heard of fabric softener? These
05:59sheets are like sleeping on straw. Hey, who's good enough for the baby Jesus? Get out.
06:16Where are my cooling racks? I know I put them in here. What a mess. Honey, please, I'll go
06:21to the store and I'll buy you new cooling racks. No, I want to find these. And when I do, we
06:26are all going to clean up this disaster of a closet. It's going to be our new family project. We
06:31never finished our last family project. Because it's in here under two tons of crap. Your dentist appointment,
06:43Lloyd? My teeth feel fine today, Caroline. I like myself. Oh, am I kidding? Great news!
06:55Great news! We have been granted permission to perform the harvest dance at the all-school
07:02assembly today. And fruit will be handed out to the student body in case they want to join
07:10in. Okay, everyone get in their circles. And...
07:17sorry! Damn! Stupid! I can't do it! I'm stupid and I'm terrible! I suck at everything! And I'm fat!
07:40You just get comfortable and we'll talk when you're ready. Thank you, Miss Gilbert. Okay,
07:54so I faked it. But with the family I have, it would have only been a matter of time anyway.
07:59We should probably talk a little now. Do we have to? Well, that's sort of why you're here.
08:18That sucked! Where'd that flamethrower come from? Malcolm, I want you to feel relaxed here.
08:27Now, school's really stressful and can be pretty demanding. This could be... this could be a safe place for you to unwind.
08:35Not the face! Not the face! Not the face!
08:42Could I unwind four or five times a week? Maybe. What would we talk about?
08:48I don't know where to begin. I really don't. Well, that was quite an episode you had in class. Did you want to talk about that?
08:57No. You just think it's stupid. Nothing you ever say in here will be stupid.
09:05But all I ever do is make mistakes. I feel like I don't even deserve to beat my own high score.
09:13Oh, yes, you do, Malcolm. Thank you so much.
09:18The tricky part is, I need to keep this up without being put on medication.
09:24Underpants! In a closet! Human underpants! I must not threaten you people enough!
09:32My lord! Skittles!
09:39You've been missing for years!
09:42You missed a great assembly!
09:46I can't believe it. They actually gave us fruit to throw at the Kralboins. What were they thinking?
09:52Don't you ever get tired of making their lives miserable?
09:55Nope. Besides, I want them to remember who's boss.
09:59When they're living in their mansions, with their supermodel wives, they're gonna know.
10:04The guy cleaning their pool kicked their ass.
10:08Hey, I had six tomatoes with your name on them.
10:12Where were you?
10:14None of your business.
10:15Maybe it's mom's business.
10:17I did should go to the arcade. Don't tell mom.
10:20The arcade's closed.
10:21Not the one at the mall.
10:24Wait a minute.
10:29I can smell my own breath.
10:31I throw the ball around the post. It swings back and knocks down the pins. Okay?
10:42I was good. I was real good.
10:46All right. Now, don't be upset if the first time you throw it, nothing happens.
10:53Wow!
10:55That was a flopper!
10:58Oh, man! Oh, man!
11:01That was a lucky shot, okay?
11:03Now, the real key to Skittles is the release point, all right?
11:09When you release the ball, make sure that it goes through on a parallel...
11:15I can't believe it. This collar's so crisp, yet it doesn't chafe any sheets. It's like sleeping on a cloud.
11:26My pleasure, guys.
11:28Dude, thank you.
11:30I've been hoping for months that my rash was from the laundry.
11:34Turns out it was.
11:36Thanks.
11:37Bet I could help.
11:39Here. This is for you.
11:40No, Joe, you don't have to.
11:42I insist.
11:44Wow. Well, that was nice of you.
11:49Hey, would you mind tossing in some of my civilian stuff with the Academy rags?
11:54Oh, I'd love to, but I'm really swamped down here.
11:56Well, yeah, whatever. I guess I could put some time for your stuff.
12:01Yeah.
12:04Thanks, man.
12:07No, no, no. You don't have to. You're the best.
12:09Go.
12:28Hotcha!
12:31Garbage!
12:32The closet!
12:34Coffee grounds!
12:35HELL!
12:36You've got to see this.
12:38The voice of Prodigy.
12:40Go.
12:41Yes!
12:42Who are the Petersons?
12:44Why do we have their photo albums?
12:46Here we go.
12:47Ow!
12:50Amazing!
12:52Hi Malcolm, how was school?
12:54It was normal.
12:57Yeah, I'd say normal.
12:59Very medieval.
13:01Is that a truck tire?
13:03What?
13:04Oh my God.
13:05HELL!
13:34The nasty little farts.
13:36I wrote them down for you to contemplate.
13:41At a later date.
13:43Malcolm, I wanted you to know how proud I am of you.
13:52Admitting you needed help was the hardest step.
13:54No.
13:55Keeping up with all the new cognitive and behavioral therapies is the hardest step, Lloyd.
14:00My self-worth is still skyrocketing.
14:01Okay, everybody.
14:02Tomorrow's looming demonstration has been cancelled.
14:15Instead, we will be going to see a reenactment of the slaughter of French troops at Agincourt,
14:21followed by a visit to the Museum of Torture, and then pizza.
14:26Museum of Torture?
14:28That's awesome.
14:30Do they have a gift shop?
14:32I'm sorry, Malcolm.
14:33You can't go.
14:34You have a dentist appointment.
14:37You're lucky you're not going.
14:39My brother went last year, and there was so much fake blood that he fainted.
14:45I think it saw him at a major breakthrough in therapy.
14:50Then a butterfly landed on my wrist, and I woke up.
14:54What color was that butterfly?
14:56It was either blue or purple.
15:00Definitely not red or orange.
15:02That I can remember.
15:04Your dream, Malcolm, was so tranquil and soothing.
15:09This is encouraging.
15:11Yeah.
15:12Yeah, you're starting to relax.
15:15I think I might be too.
15:17I need to seem cured, but to leave the door open for a relapse when we start ballet next semester.
15:24I know I have my ups and downs, but right now, it feels good to be happy.
15:30Well, I'm glad to hear it.
15:32I think we've made a lot of progress.
15:35Thanks, Miss Gilbert.
15:37I like myself now.
15:42And I know I couldn't have said that on Tuesday.
15:50What are you doing here?
15:52I figured out your scam.
15:54It turns out crazy runs in the family.
15:56Reese, you don't know what you're doing.
15:59You're going to ruin everything.
16:01Relax.
16:02I've got it covered.
16:04Huh?
16:05I'm ready to see you now, Reese.
16:07Reese isn't here right now.
16:10This is Davey.
16:12You see, that's ten in a row.
16:26Oh, Lois, he's got the gift.
16:29Since the end of the big war, there's only been one documented, triple consecutive flopper in English, Ellie Skittles.
16:35You know what this means?
16:37I finally have something to rub in the face of that blowhard Higgins and his little tennis champion.
16:43What are you talking about?
16:44Oh, he's constantly harping about his kid winning this tournament, winning that tournament, going to the White House.
16:51I'm taking Dewey over there to shut that guy up once and for all.
16:55Hey, you ready to shut that guy up once and for all, son?
16:58What guy?
16:59He's ready.
17:01Hal, you're just doing this to get out of cleaning out the closet.
17:05Not entirely.
17:06Let's go, son.
17:10What happened?
17:11Did you get caught?
17:12Where were you?
17:13Geez, you're always so angry.
17:16Maybe you really do need therapy.
17:18What I need is for you not to ruin everything for me.
17:21Do you know how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught?
17:24With Mom?
17:25With the school?
17:26With Mom?
17:27Give me a little credit, psycho.
17:30I've been doing my own research.
17:32See?
17:33I rented Silence of the Lambs, Seven, and The Nighty Professor.
17:38Oh, God.
17:39Reese, tell me exactly what you told her.
17:42Nope.
17:43That's confidential.
17:44Now, which one do you like more?
17:46Hannibal Lecter or the hockey mask?
17:50Malcolm?
17:51Reese?
17:52What do you have to say for yourselves?
17:53Don't blame Reese.
17:54Blame Davey.
17:55Ow!
17:56Ow!
17:57Ow!
17:58Ow!
17:59Ow!
18:00Ow!
18:01Ow!
18:02Ow!
18:03Ow!
18:04Ow!
18:05Ow!
18:06Ow!
18:07Ow!
18:08Ow!
18:09I'm sorry it's last minute, but I need these tonight.
18:11I got another date with Rebecca.
18:18Okay.
18:19Seven items.
18:20Thirty bucks.
18:21I don't have that kind of money.
18:22Last time it cost ten.
18:23You can cut me some slack, can't you?
18:25I'd love to do you a solider, but I'm booked and it'd be unethical to play favorites.
18:41You can't do this to me.
18:42I need to wear my bowling shirt.
18:47Rebecca loves my bowling shirt.
18:50Francis, I don't have the money.
18:53money. Well, then you don't have the clothes. Gotta pay to be a player. Look at yourself.
19:02I remember the Francis who cared about his job. A cap and a half of fabric softener,
19:10Francis. Remember that? A cap and a half. If you'll excuse me, I have some ironing to do.
19:23I can't believe him. Yep. I had to give him three CDs just to get my dress blues pressed.
19:32I think it's time somebody taught that guy a lesson. Yeah. We'll make him wear a lame
19:40t-shirt. Or we could put it in a load of whites. Just follow me.
19:47Some of my children are emotionally disturbed. Oh, we don't like to use those labels. But I spent a
19:59whole week with Malcolm. Really? A whole week? Yes. And to be honest, I think there are some
20:08definite issues that you and he need to talk about. Malcolm, you want to share this drawing
20:16with your mother? No, that's okay. I like what you've done with my teeth.
20:28There's some things that Malcolm told me that I think you should hear. Oh, well, I'd love to hear them.
20:35Go ahead, Malcolm. Yeah, go ahead.
20:48Everybody wants to help. You're safe here.
20:51About the anger thing. Yeah. Tell me about the anger thing.
21:08When you're angry, you bottle up your feelings and you freeze me out with silence.
21:16Well, I will, uh, I'll try to be more vocal. Go on. Please.
21:29I wish you would spend more time at home. Unless I'm at the... the racetrack.
21:38Well, I guess I'm gonna have to change that, too.
21:41No. Come on, Malcolm. Tell her about the pressure.
21:49Well, I feel you put a lot of pressure on me and I can't live up to your expectations.
21:55What pressure?
21:56Maybe not. I don't know. No, no, no, no. Go back. What were you saying?
22:00Well, you put a lot of pressure on me and stuff.
22:04What do you mean? When do I pressure you?
22:06All the time. If it's not the extra credit reports, it's all the advanced classes you signed me up for.
22:13And after that, I have to help Reese and Dewey with their homework.
22:16That's not pressure.
22:18You know, I didn't ask to be born smart.
22:20We just want you to live up to your potential.
22:22That. That's exactly what I'm talking about.
22:25I tried to stop him. I said, hey, don't put that red t-shirt in there. That's not color fast.
22:33But he just laughed. He said pink was a better color because that's what little weak girls wear.
22:40He looked everywhere else. He's in here somewhere.
22:43Oh, shh.
23:01Francis?
23:06No.
23:07It's okay, dude. Even the best of them have off days.
23:11Uh-huh.
23:12Sixteen misses in a row.
23:16Some people might think you did it on purpose.
23:19Huh.
23:21Hey.
23:24There's something you want to tell me, son?
23:26I don't want to do this anymore.
23:29It's boring.
23:31You'd be giving up what might very well be your one true talent.
23:37You could be another Chap Sanders.
23:39Something, are you willing to turn your back on your destiny?
23:47Yep.
23:48Can I go now?
23:49All right, if that's what you want.
23:51Wait.
23:52Can you throw it for me one more time?
23:56Hmm?
23:57One last flopper for your old dad?
24:00Nope.
24:05All right, then.
24:07I'm sorry.
24:08Oh, no, don't be.
24:11I'm the one who should apologize.
24:13No, you guys just want what's best for me.
24:15I know that.
24:16Oh, we do.
24:17We love you.
24:19I love you, too.
24:27Mom, you really pissed me off when you took away my hockey stick because I was hitting Dewey with it.
24:35I know you're sorry.
24:37I'll go in the attic and take it down later.
24:39Ah, another Peterson box.
24:51Oh, this is from the 60s.
24:54Huh?
24:54I forgot LBJ had his gallbladder up.
24:57I don't understand.
24:58Didn't we clean up this closet when we moved in?
25:01Apparently not.
25:02Oh, for crying out loud, they left an old toilet.
25:25This is a bathroom.
25:28We have a second bathroom.
25:32If we don't tell them, they won't know.
25:39It'll just be our little secret.
25:42A beautiful little secret.
25:49Hey, hey.
26:02I've been out.
26:19See you next time.
26:20Bye.
26:21Bye.
26:22Bye.
26:23Bye.
26:24Bye.
26:24Bye.
26:25Bye.