Therapy Thursday: Would You Have A Friend With Benefits If They Were A Trash Parent?
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00:00Alright, courtesy of Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, you got Rich, you got Meredith, you got O, and you got you calling or texting in.
00:09888-429-0941, Therapy Thursday is just built around any question.
00:13We'll try and get you an answer collectively or individually, and it could be about anything.
00:19We're experts at everything. No, we're not.
00:21No, we're not. Don't put us up like that.
00:24Demesman and Dover don't even want to rock with us like this.
00:27They're like, oh my God, what are we doing?
00:28Alright, so here's the deal. Let's see, do you have one?
00:32Yes.
00:32Because I got a few in front of me.
00:33Out of the 941 Good Morning Freak Show, I do need some advice.
00:36My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years now, and I'm thinking about asking him to marry me.
00:42But something I need to figure out first is our financials.
00:45When we first started dating, I got settlement money, and I used it to get me a motorcycle for the cheap.
00:52He told me that money was our nest egg.
00:54I told him I had enough money to rent a house for the two of us and buy some new furniture for it in the future as well.
01:01Fast forward to now, two years later, and he got inheritance money.
01:05I didn't mention the nest egg, so I'm not quite sure where this is going, but he's making it seem like it's just his money when initially the nest egg was our money when it came to me.
01:15So, listen, baby, what's mine is yours.
01:17If your inheritance was his to begin with last time, then it should be the same way around.
01:23That's not true.
01:24You got to do the same.
01:25Because that's not legal.
01:26That's not.
01:27Yours is yours.
01:28Mine is mine.
01:29We haven't gotten married yet.
01:30We're not on paper yet.
01:31And, I mean, you could be committed to each other, but if you talk about legally, you did an effort by getting something and sharing it with him.
01:38And that's a kindness.
01:40And he's not that kind.
01:42And realistically, it's not yours.
01:45It's his inheritance.
01:46And inheritances are treated differently as well.
01:49I think so.
01:50Because I don't think that's like community property.
01:52I believe last time somebody asked us something in this vein, somebody who knew more about it called up and said it's not a community kind of property kind of thing.
01:59So that's just legalese right there.
02:01But realistically, like if y'all are together and it's coming into the house, it don't matter whose it is.
02:06Just, I mean, you know, if he's got it, then maybe he picks up a vacation or something that you don't have to pick up because he got it or whatever.
02:13Just don't worry about ownership.
02:15If you're in a relationship and it's real, the ownership part of it and whose is what's is and whatever is going to be in the way.
02:21And that's enough to tear you apart.
02:23So if it's worth it, you know, if you're good and they're good, it don't matter if he got a little bit more, you know, a couple commas than you got.
02:30It's still in the household.
02:31The household is solid.
02:32So, you know, keep that there.
02:34What else we got?
02:35Out of the 813, I like to talk on the phone with my girl before bed.
02:38And last night she went out, which is not the problem.
02:41When I got ready for bed, I checked her location to see what was if it was good for me to call and not interrupt people's plans.
02:49So I checked and she was at home, but she told me she was still out.
02:54What do I do?
02:55I don't have a problem with her being out.
02:57But the issue is the thing is that she lied.
03:01Bring it up.
03:02Be like, hey, I checked your location.
03:03Obviously, you guys share locations.
03:05I mean, some people are not cool with that.
03:06But since you do, just be like, why did you lie about that?
03:09Like, it's something so minimal.
03:10It doesn't really mean anything.
03:11But why would you lie about something so small?
03:15I wouldn't use the word lie, but I would say exactly what Meredith said.
03:18Just don't use the word lie.
03:19Lie seems like an accusation.
03:21Like, but you can ask them and say, hey, you know, I got you.
03:25I got your location.
03:26So I saw you was you was at home, even though you was out.
03:30Right.
03:30So if you know, if you don't want to talk or something like that, it's all good.
03:34Just like, let's keep let's keep it honest.
03:36Or let's, you know, like, just let me know.
03:38Just, you know, approach it that way.
03:40When you say the word lie, people get tight.
03:42Yeah.
03:42And then they feel like you're accusing them of something, which you are.
03:45But you don't want to seem like it.
03:46So just let them know.
03:47Like, yo, babe, we got we got locations and stuff like that.
03:50So if you don't want to talk, I get it because you got a long day or you just really don't feel like, you know, dealing with me.
03:55Maybe she was just busy and she was still technically out.
03:58She had her friends over or something.
04:00She just did.
04:00She just didn't want to talk to you.
04:02Like, I mean, and honestly, if you had a relationship, sometimes you don't really want to be on the phone.
04:08And it's hurtful to the other person.
04:11But to you, it's like, yo, I need some quiet.
04:12Maybe she was with somebody else, which is where my mind would go.
04:16Somebody just wrote with a lot of ease.
04:19She cheated.
04:22That's where my head would go.
04:24I mean, immediately, like, if I don't want to talk to you, I'm at I'm I'm doing the dirty.
04:29With somebody else.
04:30Something's going on.
04:31It sounds fishy.
04:32It sounds weird.
04:33It's something so small to it.
04:34It is a lie.
04:35Yeah.
04:35But sometimes technology be messing it up for you.
04:37Like right here out of the two, six, nine, it says, like, the iPhone location sometimes are really late.
04:43It's true.
04:43That's true.
04:44That's why you got to bring it up and not accuse of lying.
04:47But in my head, in my head, you're lying.
04:49In your head, she's lying.
04:50But in your mouth, don't say that.
04:52All right.
04:52Let's see.
04:53This says, hey, if you got, this is out of the A13, it says, if you got a friends with benefits thing with somebody that's kind of a trash parent.
05:03Oh, damn.
05:03Does that factor in on if you keep dealing with them?
05:06Absolutely.
05:07I'm getting mines, but her being cool with the kids in the house while it's happening and sometimes in the next room is crazy to me.
05:16Would you care?
05:17It's not great, but when you do, well, when you don't care, wait, it says, it's not great, but when you don't care, I don't care.
05:25Is it, they said friends with benefits?
05:28They said, if you got a friends with benefits thing with somebody that's kind of a trash parent, does that factor in on if you keep dealing?
05:35Well, if you're friends with benefits, then that means you already are not looking for the commitment with this person.
05:40You're looking for just the benefits part of it.
05:42But they're friends.
05:43Yeah, they're friends.
05:45If you are really good friends, yeah, definitely say something about it.
05:47But it kind of seems like that it's already affecting you.
05:51If you're friends with benefits, then you don't really want to be with that person.
05:55You can say something, but it's not really your place.
05:57You're still doing it.
05:58That's what I'm saying.
05:58Are you still going to smash?
06:01Richie's going to say yes.
06:02Are you still going to smash?
06:02Yeah, that's your friend with benefits.
06:03That's the question.
06:04They're like, yo, because they're a bad parent, is that going to make you not smash?
06:09Friends with benefits.
06:10Have you ever tore down something where a kid was in the house?
06:13Yes.
06:14And is that uncomfortable?
06:16The whole thing about friends with benefits, it's the benefit.
06:19You're looking for the benefit.
06:20And if that's all you're looking for, then yes.
06:22You're just as bad at this point in my mind.
06:24I get it once or twice or something like that, but you're fully aware of what's going on.
06:29But you're not dating them.
06:30You're just accepting.
06:31You're not dating them.
06:32You're not dating them.
06:33There are certain girls out there that don't mind.
06:36You're looking for just the benefit.
06:38They just don't mind.
06:39And especially if they have a real stress with the kid, they want you to come over and knock
06:45out that stress.
06:46And it's so uncomfortable.
06:47So you've done this too, Orlando?
06:48I have.
06:49And it's very uncomfortable.
06:50She's just looking for the benefit.
06:51It's very uncomfortable.
06:52And so are you.
06:53And I'm judging her the whole time.
06:55I'm like, because you're making noise.
06:56And when you're telling somebody else to shut up, you're like, hey, be quiet.
06:59Your kid is in there.
07:00You're like, don't worry about them.
07:01And they sleep.
07:02I'm like, yo.
07:05That kid going to be standing outside.
07:06While you're humping.
07:08Maybe that's the couple of minutes that she has to have her own free time.
07:14So the trash part of this, being a parent, is that they're smashing while the kids are
07:17home.
07:18Is that what makes them a trash parent?
07:20Yeah.
07:20Okay.
07:22First of all, I didn't write it.
07:23It's hard to get the kids out of the house.
07:24But I damn sure agree.
07:25Man, you just put up a TV.
07:26Like, the person who had a 727 just said that.
07:29That makes them a trash parent.
07:30I was just asking.
07:31It does if you're bringing in hookups with the kid at home listening to you.
07:35Like, if the dude is like, yo, I'm rocking with you, but you're putting us in some tight
07:40situations.
07:40What if that's the only time that she got, though?
07:42That's probably the only time.
07:43That is probably the only time she has to get intimate time.
07:47But you can't have, like, that's not my daddy.
07:51That doesn't make you a trash parent, though.
07:52That's not my daddy.
07:52Mama, why you in there playing the wrestling games?
07:54That's not my daddy.
07:56We watching AEW right now.
07:57I mean, yeah, that's terrible right there.
07:59You don't want that.