Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an author who surprised her husband with a threesome for his 40th birthday and ask listeners to share their sexy surprises. A bacon bikini, a gift-wrapped man and a firefighter striptease are some highlights.
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00:00here's a question for you quickly what is the sexiest surprise you've given someone
00:10acclaimed author pamela drukerman has revealed the threesome she gave her husband for his 40th
00:20birthday she's married to author simon cooper they have three kids together according to her
00:28new book the couple's threesome took place as he was celebrating his 40th she said i was gonna buy him
00:35a vintage watch but he said you know what i really want he did he say watch or a threesome
00:44did he say that's what i really want he literally said you know what that vintage watch is cool but
00:51what i really want is a threesome so she found a suitable woman turned to the internet um it was
00:58they call her n they don't reveal her whole name she was a divorced mother in her late 40s how you
01:03doing i'm a divorced mother in my late 40s this woman finally asked her to join her and her husband for
01:12sex and she agreed she's a pretty laid-back lady yeah she is when you see her picture there's nothing
01:20really she doesn't give off sexual vibes that's her that's her there oh god right she gives up like
01:29i went to go check the emails like uptight suburban what does the guy look like yeah uh well i guess we
01:37look him up oh that's him oh my god this is the grossest piece of all time yeah i had sex with the two
01:45losers who did she find to be part of the precinct too oh wow hi they call me n you're n
01:52yep you're the chance for nancy you're the petite brunette i'm well petite is a little
01:59one's man one man's trash is another man's treasure
02:04um so her husband and this other woman go still go at it for another 20 minutes she said finally
02:12they tire themselves out there's a sweet moment at the end though when i went back into the room and
02:16the three of us were lying together under the covers with the birthday boy in the middle he was beaming
02:21he later sent me a series of heartfelt thank you notes saying it was as good as he had hoped
02:29thank you notes such nerds they really are authors and nerds super polite okay has anyone ever sent
02:40someone a thank you note for sex wait a second though that's a thank you note a handwritten thank
02:45you note to my wife thank you so much yes he is he is right so they're both authors so of course
02:50and i bet they were way over the top the thank yous like oh so descriptive and i'm like oh my god
02:57what a nightmare these people are dorks they really are it is the dorkiest threesome of all time
03:05they're they're dorks i guarantee the person they brought in was a huge dork as well
03:13yes yep mason is with us here mason what was the sexy surprise you gave someone so uh
03:21this girl i dated a few years ago uh you know it been it didn't rough at work all week so i figured
03:26i'd do something nice for her it was around christmas time she'd come home from work i had
03:30like notes hidden all over the house for her to find her christmas surprise it will eventually led
03:34her back to the tree and lo and behold here here i am in all of my glory wrapped in christmas paper with
03:39uh mistletoe hanging from what a lucky girl oh yeah yes yes you're right lease and and you got
03:49it it was time to kiss it yeah yeah buck hey please calm down i know right oh i'm excited
03:57how long did that relationship feed into the not to feed into the you know y'all guys wanted sex
04:04but i mean if it works it works i mean it's not easy wrapping yourself up i'm sure it's not i've
04:10done it i've done it i've done it you're gonna tear it all rip and then you gotta be able to get
04:17the nice strong paper yeah the really good stuff but that's expensive it really is it's not a cheap
04:22the guy spent a fortune on uh it's not cheap but when you're gonna go all in like this dollar
04:26store paper you would just rip right yeah don't even don't even bother might be a little soggy too
04:33disturbing looking just to be wrapped in paper oh my god like if i was just wrapped in paper some
04:39of my hair would be sticking out like it'd be the most frightening thing for a woman to roll
04:44what i would love is for it to be like almost professionally wrapped where like every part of
04:51you is wrapped that's such a guy thing right like that guy like merry christmas blow me right
04:58it's me you'll never forget it my penis we've been having sex for five years
05:08but here's me it's a new splash an unkempt area for you it's all yours thank you i forgot to
05:19manscape but it's yours there is christmas miracles oh my god oh my god that's such a guy thing it
05:27really is you love me yeah hairy old me under the tree that old uh thing in the box song didn't help
05:33no it really didn't help ladies i know it didn't help ladies uh this woman said oh i don't know
05:40this is weird too what i put on my guy's firefighter uniform and i did a strip tease in it
05:50to girls girls girls by motley crew stop there
05:56girls girls girls sexiest song that you've ever heard girls girls girls thank god there's a female
06:08firefighter here because there's a fire in my pants do you want to see her in your like number one if
06:15you're a firefighter you're probably the last people you want to bang is another firefighter
06:20firefighter that doesn't you probably don't find them sexy outfits long legs and burgundy
06:27girls girls girls stop in down on the sunset street girls girls girls long legs fingertips
06:41have you heard the nude hey tommy check that out oh god you'd be shocked oh one person's version
06:56of sexy is not it yeah no it's not for everybody it's not for everybody generally men don't want to
07:02see a masculine uniform all to the ground right no uh someone made a bacon bikini for their guy
07:11what did she send pictures of it yeah there's pictures in there she did yep they don't give
07:16much description of it oh my god that's amazing it's weaved bacon bacon panties and a bacon bra so
07:25you're supposed to like eat your way through it careful if you you're gonna bite hard on that
07:29bacon you don't want to bite the wrong part yeah i don't want to bite the bit wow yeah you don't
07:33want to get burnt it's a little undercooked for my liking well it's got to bend it's got to bend
07:37a little flexible it's got to bend a bit if you cook it the way dave likes to just yeah exactly
07:42break and just yeah breaking the powder i mean she did a pretty good job but the bras cooked pretty
07:47well but just enough to cover those areolas it's a new begging strip yeah huh that is something
07:54right there that is amazing thank you baby dad um and and then and then there's the guy one
08:03for my birthday my husband greeted me with a donut hanging on his boner
08:07it's your favorite oh boy they're both boston cream dreams come true yeah yeah they go out do all
08:21the work we do donut dong you're gonna finish that
08:24you can't eat it
08:27no it's still fine
08:30no it's still fine
08:33no it's still good
08:34no it's still
08:48no it's still fine