Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about how a Mexican drug cartel kidnapped a group of people and were going to make them all have sex with each other. They imagine this scenario going down with James and realize he might be so into it, it would freak the kidnappers out.
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00:00So, remember the story of the lady who took a bunch of her buddies with her to Mexico on
00:21a road trip so she could get a tummy tuck.
00:24Yes.
00:25And then it went horribly wrong.
00:28They got kidnapped by the Mexican drug cartel, and a few of them ended up dying.
00:36New details are coming to light about that.
00:38Okay.
00:40Which also explains why James Chuck wanted us to go on a Mexican road trip with him.
00:46Oh.
00:47Because apparently the captors tried to force them all to have sex with each other.
00:51Oh.
00:52I was really hoping that, you know, we'd be in a crazy scenario where...
00:56I get to bang both of my idols.
00:58Wait, he's banging us in this scenario.
01:03Well, yeah.
01:03I said that he owed the drug cartel.
01:05I traded him a couple bags of weed.
01:07James would be tied up, and he's like, you better not come up with any crazy ideas like
01:12all three of us having sex with each other.
01:14Yeah, don't you dare think about that.
01:16Yeah.
01:16I don't think I could have...
01:17That'd be the worst.
01:18I could have brought myself to bang both of my radio idols at the same time in a crazy
01:23hostage scenario.
01:24Yeah.
01:25Don't make us do it.
01:26Man.
01:27Don't hold that gun to their heads.
01:29That wasn't even our idea.
01:30That was your idea.
01:31Okay, good.
01:32To be honest.
01:32Because I thought that Chuck's sweet ass is not appealing to me.
01:35Oh, Jesus.
01:35Anyway, whatsoever.
01:36Or Dave's huge wiener.
01:37Wow.
01:38You know, I'm not even sure how you got your clothes off all tied up like that.
01:42Oh.
01:42Freaky.
01:43It's like a Velcro.
01:46It was like they fell off of you.
01:47It was really, really weird.
01:48You guys are real rough, man.
01:49They were real, real rough.
01:50They ripped these clothes right off me.
01:51So don't make me bang my two radio idols.
01:54We got a good idea, though.
01:56It's a crazy idea.
01:56Those guys don't look like they want.
01:58They wouldn't.
02:00No, no, no, no.
02:02They look really nervous.
02:04Chuck looks okay with it.
02:08The Americans that survived that violent abduction at gunpoint by a Mexican drug cartel have spoken
02:13out about the harrowing ordeal, describing how their captors wore terrifying red Diablo
02:17masks, held guns to their heads, and tried to force them to have sex with each other.
02:25Tried.
02:25I'd really hate it if you dressed us up with Diablo masks, too, so that way we don't really
02:31know who's who.
02:33I think you can figure it out pretty quick.
02:35El Diablo!
02:37Two of the guys had to say they were brothers, and then she said she was brother and sister
02:43with one of the guys.
02:44Otherwise, they would have.
02:47They're not my brothers, I swear.
02:49They're not my brothers.
02:50We are related.
02:51We are totally related.
02:52I'm going to be honest.
02:54I don't even care.
02:55You know what?
02:56We're still going to have sex with them.
02:57If we're related, we're from the South, then.
02:59I don't care about a brother thing.
03:01Have sex.
03:02Have sex.
03:04Start having sex.
03:05We're bedroom bros.
03:07Oh, bedroom bros.
03:08The idea if they took you guys and they had to drive you back because James freaked them
03:12out too bad.
03:13Yeah, that's the thing.
03:14They were like, listen, we were going to do all this crazy stuff.
03:18I had all these ideas.
03:19There's a strap-on, and I had a big vibrator.
03:22And this one guy was a nuts.
03:25He's truly insane.
03:28Get the strap-ons out.
03:29I didn't realize the depth of the criminal mind.
03:35Get the strap-on on me while I do them.
03:37He's scary.
03:38We had to let them all go.
03:41Wait, is that the American challenge?
03:43Oh, it's the knockoff version because we're Mexico.
03:44Like, we would take a dildo away from him, and then he would have even more dildos.
03:49He brought his own.
03:50I'm like a dildo hydra.
03:51He had a bag.
03:53It was completely chock-full.
03:56I tell you, we tied him up with his clothes on, and he was tied up, and his clothes that
04:01came off.
04:02It made up no sense.
04:05I started freaking out.
04:07I was freaking out too.
04:08I'm like the chris-angel of being tied up, especially in a sexual manner.
04:12He said he was going to do a crazy move.
04:16He did something called gay levitating.
04:18I don't even know what it was.
04:20I've never seen anything.
04:20I've never seen it before.
04:22Gay levitating.
04:24That's when I make everybody's boners stand up.
04:25My God, it worked.
04:26I'll never forget him.
04:27His name was Hayans.
04:28Hayans.
04:29Hayans.
04:31Never take Hayans.
04:32And that was the day the legend of a crazy Hayans started.
04:38We let them go.
04:40We just kicked them right off.
04:41They jumped over to the Trump wall.
04:45To their freedom.
04:47Crazy Hayans.
04:51We let them go.
04:52Make it crazy.
04:53Crazy Hayans.
04:54He didn't want to go.
04:56He said no, he would stay.
04:57You guys are trying to take a good time.
05:00Crazy Hayans.
05:01Eyeing me up, trying to make me do stuff with my bros.
05:05Why would I want to go back?
05:06I've never met a man so completely cool with it.
05:08Whatever we came up with, he was like a totally cool with it.
05:13Blow your bros!
05:15He was cool with it.
05:17We didn't even have it going.
05:19Yeah, we didn't.
05:20He kept coming up with the suggestions.
05:23I had never seen that at any time.
05:25How about you just have me, instead of doing them, how about you just have me blow them?
05:28See what I mean?
05:29See?
05:30He had a suggestion box that he started for himself.
05:35Well, fine.
05:36You guys know anything about Salad Dawson?
05:38Got some dressing?
05:40He asked at one point for some syrup.
05:44Nuts.
05:45Crazy Hayans.
05:46Crazy Hayans.
05:47Crazy Hayans.
05:48Crazy Hayans.
05:49Never to be taken by us.
05:50Well, if you don't want to watch me do stuff to them, how about I just do stuff to you guys?
05:54That's it.
05:55All that Trump will offer to you.
05:57Oh, no, no!
05:58No, don't put me back!
05:59Go be free, please!
06:00No!
06:01Go be free back in America, please!
06:04No!
06:06My God!
06:07Fine, you can do me!
06:08Oh, my God.
06:10Yep.
06:11Man, you want to be with James.
06:12Kind of.
06:13Yeah, kind of.
06:13Kind of.
06:14Kind of not.
06:15Kind of not, but kind of.