Dave, Doni, and Canada
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FunTranscript
00:003, 2, 1, go.
00:02You love doing this.
00:03We set it up ahead of time.
00:05These completely natural conversations that we have.
00:07And then you give me the 3, 2, 1, go.
00:093, 2, 1, go.
00:12At least you put your fingers down in the proper order.
00:14I know.
00:14I was like, what are you doing?
00:16They started to go down and not the proper order.
00:18I had to focus and go, that one goes down first,
00:21and then that one and leaves that one.
00:22Did you know that different things around the world
00:25in the way of inappropriate hand gestures,
00:27that they're different than they are here?
00:31What do you mean inappropriate hand gestures?
00:33So, you know, I went to, with my Girl Scout troop,
00:38I went to England back in high school,
00:42and one of the girls, like, they freaked out on her
00:45because we were waiting for bus number 2,
00:47and she said, 2, we're waiting for 2.
00:49And in England, that's the same thing as giving the middle finger here.
00:54So, yeah, so one of the other girl guides
00:56slapped her hand down and was like, what are you doing?
00:58And she's like, what do you mean, what am I doing?
01:00And I guess there are different, there are, like,
01:02several of these from, it depends culture by culture
01:05on what is considered a rude hand gesture, apparently.
01:11So, yeah, that's my, don't do this if you go to England.
01:14Yeah, then people are, it's the same thing as.
01:19And you, and you, and you, and you.
01:22Oh, and you too.
01:23I don't know.
01:25You should probably not travel outside the U.S.
01:27Do you have a valid passport, Dave?
01:28Nope.
01:29I don't either.
01:30I did, but I let it expire like an idiot,
01:32and now I can't even get it in Canada.
01:34Every time I go to get an enhanced license,
01:36then they're like, you needed this other paperwork,
01:39or they don't offer it to me, and I forget,
01:41and I finally get through the line,
01:42and then they're like, oh, well, you needed to tell us
01:44ahead of time.
01:45So I'm like, okay, whatever.
01:46I still don't have an enhanced license.
01:47Yeah, I don't want one.
01:48I don't have an enhanced.
01:49I had one, but I let it expire,
01:51and I didn't get a new one,
01:51because last time I went to Canada,
01:52they tossed my cookies,
01:53and I don't ever want to go back.
01:56That would be a good reason.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Yeah.
01:58Like, I'm going over to Caesars Windsor
02:00for some cool rock show we're doing.
02:01They're like, okay, pull over there.
02:02We're going to rip your car apart.
02:04I'm like, what?
02:06Wow.
02:06Yeah.
02:07Yeah.
02:07This is no fun.
02:08I'm like, thanks, never coming back.
02:09Peace out.
02:10Yeah.
02:10I know.
02:11Is that a bad thing in Canada?
02:13Did you?
02:13I was like, peace out, Canada.
02:16I don't know.
02:17Did you say you were with a radio?
02:18I got pulled over one time, too.
02:20I got my car searched, but not ripped apart.
02:22But it was because back in the 90s,
02:24then we would still do,
02:26I was working for Z-Rock,
02:28and we would do promotions in Canada
02:30at Rum Runners,
02:32and they'd be like,
02:33Donnie, you take the prizes over.
02:37We can't have them in the van,
02:38because for sure they would stop
02:40and search the van,
02:41and I guess it was like,
02:42you had to pay taxes on the prizes,
02:44even though it was free stuff.
02:45Oh, wow.
02:45You had to pay taxes on the prizes.
02:47So here's pulling back the curtain of radio.
02:49So they give them to me,
02:51and then I get pulled over,
02:52and I'm like,
02:53oh, I'm just going to, you know,
02:55Rum Runners for the...
02:56Then you get arrested,
02:57and you're in Canadian prison
02:58for the rest of your life.
02:59I was not, clearly,
03:00so that part was good, but...
03:02Canadian prison,
03:02Canada has the nicest prisons
03:04in the whole world.
03:05Really?
03:06Yes.
03:06And how did you discover this?
03:07Because I read about it.
03:09They have, in Canada prison,
03:13they give you prime rib for dinner
03:14four nights a week.
03:16They do not.
03:17They do.
03:17Come on.
03:18Yeah, and they're all,
03:18they have shag carpet and TV on the walls
03:21and pool tables.
03:22Really?
03:22Because everyone's so nice in Canada.
03:24And you read this on the internet.
03:25They want to make it nice for their inmates.
03:27Yes.
03:27Right.
03:27And you read this on the internet.
03:29But everyone really is nice in Canada.
03:31I believe that part.
03:32They're sickening nice.
03:32The shag carpeting and TVs in every cell,
03:35I kind of have a hard time believing,
03:36along with the prime rib,
03:37but, you know, other than that.
03:38So, yeah, I did not get arrested,
03:41but it did, like, man.
03:42And back in the day,
03:44then my grandma lived in Niagara Falls.
03:46We would always drive through Canada,
03:48like through Port Huron,
03:49over to Niagara Falls
03:51and go in that way.
03:53So, and sometimes we would take our dog.
03:55One time my mom woke the dog up
03:57and was like,
03:58shut up,
03:59and shoved the dog back under the seat
04:00because we were going through into Canada.
04:03And it's a whole nother deal
04:04if you bring a dog in with you.
04:07But...
04:07Yeah, you got to bring, like,
04:08papers and shots and all that stuff.
04:10Yeah.
04:11So we were not that organized.
04:13And then,
04:13but when we got to Canada,
04:14Canada was the land of illegal,
04:16traveling back when I was a kid
04:18because that's the only place
04:19we could get Pop Rocks
04:20because at that point,
04:22they had been banned in the U.S.
04:23because somebody had...
04:24The kid Mikey died.
04:25He mixed it with Diet Coke
04:26and he died.
04:27Yeah, that's what it was.
04:29Mixed it with Diet Coke.
04:30The life cereal kid, right?
04:30Hey, Mikey, he likes it.
04:31Yeah, he's the kid who died on Pop Rocks.
04:33Oh, my God.
04:33So anyway, so Pop Rocks,
04:35but yet, yeah.
04:37That's not true.
04:38Okay.
04:39But we can pretend it is.
04:41We should tell people it is
04:42so other people tell other people.
04:44Somebody did really
04:46have some sort of healthy issue
04:48involving Pop Rocks.
04:49I believe that's why
04:50they weren't legal in the U.S.
04:52It was Elliot from E.T.
04:53Oh, my God.
04:54I think it was actually
04:55Ben Franklin in 1492
04:57choked on some Pop Rocks.
04:58He invented Pop Rocks,
05:00Ben Franklin.
05:02So we'd go over,
05:03we'd take our illegal dog
05:05through Canada,
05:06we'd stop and get illegal Pop Rocks
05:07and then take him over
05:09to Niagara Falls, New York
05:10and eat our illegal Pop Rocks
05:11with our illegal dog.
05:12Canada was good.
05:13I like Canada.
05:14I just didn't like the time
05:15that they searched my car,
05:16you know?
05:16Yeah.
05:17It was easier.
05:18Like, he could just
05:18go over the one talking to you.
05:21Right.
05:22You know, he could just
05:22drive on over.
05:23Well, back in the day,
05:25you grew up in Michigan, too, yeah?
05:26So, like, you know,
05:28I'm not gonna lie,
05:29like 19 to 21,
05:30we went to Canada often
05:31and back then you just
05:32showed your ID that bit.
05:33Yeah, you showed your ID that bit.
05:34The first time I ever saw a naked lady
05:35was in Canada.
05:36Oh, my gosh.
05:37We were like 19
05:37and we went over to Canada,
05:39went to the naked lady club.
05:40Right.
05:40And I walked in,
05:41I'd never seen a naked lady
05:42before ever in my life
05:44because I was only 19,
05:45you know?
05:45And I walked in
05:46and the whole place
05:48was full of naked ladies.
05:49They were everywhere.
05:50Wow.
05:50I was like,
05:52there, look at that.
05:53I was like, holy crap.
05:54And they were so hot.
05:56I was like,
05:56there's another one
05:57and another one,
05:58another one,
05:58another one.
05:59I went through my 40 bucks
06:00that I bought in like seven minutes.
06:02Because, you know,
06:03there was a lot for 19
06:04back in that day.
06:05Going to Canada,
06:06big weekend
06:07and going to the naked lady club
06:08in Canada.
06:09Going to bring a lot of money,
06:10got 40 bucks.
06:11We went to,
06:12we did the same thing,
06:13but we went to Danny's
06:14and I was not,
06:16Is that the naked man club?
06:17I was not feeling
06:18the same exuberance
06:20that you were.
06:21Yeah.
06:21Because I was like,
06:22we can do the same thing
06:23dudes do.
06:23Let's go to the naked guy club.
06:25So we went to Danny's.
06:26But like,
06:26they were all like really oily.
06:29Yeah.
06:29And if they come up
06:30and they dance on you,
06:31it leaves marks
06:32on your clothes and stuff.
06:34Like I was like,
06:35and then you get home,
06:36your boyfriend knows
06:36you're at the naked man club.
06:38Donnie,
06:39why are you all oily?
06:40Were you at the naked man club?
06:41No,
06:42at that point,
06:42I was just hanging out
06:43with my girlfriends and stuff.
06:44So there was,
06:45there was no boyfriend,
06:46but there was certainly wasn't
06:48as a result of that trip either.
06:49But yeah,
06:50Canada,
06:51Canada has good memories,
06:52man.
06:52Yeah,
06:52no,
06:53I like Canada.
06:53They should just take away
06:54the customs agent.
06:57I don't know
06:59if that's going to happen,
06:59Dave.
07:00I don't think so.
07:01But Canada,
07:03we salute you.
07:03Right?
07:04Right?