Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a mystery woman named Linda Skeens who won first place in a ton of categories for baking at the Virginia-Kentucky District Fair. And, the fact that no one knows who she actually is leads to Andy comparing her to 'Banksy'.
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00:00If someone can find this woman, she could get her own cooking show.
00:10There's an annual county fair called the Virginia-Kentucky District Fair.
00:15It's been going on for like a century.
00:18All sorts of baking and cooking contests are a part of it.
00:21Well, the Internet's now trying to track down a woman named Linda Skeens,
00:25who dominated this year.
00:27It happened earlier this month, but a list of winners went viral.
00:32Her name is on it over and over and over again.
00:38When they released the names of the winners, she had won so many things.
00:43Like there's too many to list all of them, but let me just give you a few.
00:46She won best cake, best pie, best brownies, best jelly, best jam, best applesauce,
00:52best pumpkin butter, best sauerkraut, best spaghetti sauce.
00:55Her strawberry fudge won best overall baked good.
01:00My God, who is this?
01:01She's the...
01:02I know, they have to find her now.
01:03She's like the Michael Jordan of old ladies.
01:05Also, best cookies, best bread, and best candy.
01:09And for good measure, she swept all three in the embroidery section too.
01:14Oh, man.
01:15She's become an Internet legend overnight, and people want to see what she looks like.
01:20I know why she...
01:21I know why they can't find her.
01:24The other old ladies took her out.
01:27She's gone, guys.
01:28She's being held hostage.
01:28No, she's gone.
01:29She's tied up with some yarn in someone's basement right now.
01:32Yeah.
01:32She's got sewing needles there, knitting needles through her hands.
01:37Silence of the old bitches.
01:39That's it for you.
01:41Put on some Steeler's Wheel here.
01:44I love the idea of a bunch of old ladies holding her hostage in a pit.
01:48This is our homemade Catherine Wheel.
01:51It puts the apple butter on the bread.
01:54That's a lot of crazy recipes that lady has.
01:57But how are you good at it all?
02:00I like everything.
02:02I want that person in my life.
02:03I can understand that you are...
02:06I know we can't lose this person, by the way.
02:08This is...
02:08Imagine that is your, you know, family member.
02:14It's like, when my grandma went, we lost a bunch of food that was amazing.
02:20But not like that.
02:22It wasn't like that.
02:24No, my God.
02:25And it comes up, like, everyone's looking for her.
02:32She's like the Banksy of...
02:34Yeah, that's what she is.
02:36That's what she is.
02:38She's actually just a collection.
02:40She's just a collection of old ladies.
02:42Her baked goods just blow people's minds.
02:44And then they're like, oh, my God, we've got to find her.
02:47Did you hear?
02:48I'm not telling anybody.
02:49I'm sure you won't, man.
02:50Did you hear Linda Skeens was here?
02:52No, a real...
02:53Is that a real Linda Skeens brownie?
02:55I don't know.
02:55No one saw her officially, but someone entered a bunch of brownies.
03:01Oh, my God.
03:02The name said Linda Skeens.
03:05Because I do.
03:06I mean, like, I wonder sometimes, you know, there's lots of rumors of, like, Banksy and
03:12is, like, is Banksy one person or is Banksy multiple people and...
03:15The descendants of Betty Crocker want to kill this lady.
03:18Oh, my God.
03:18This is all we have to go on.
03:20You're a dad, bitch.
03:22We get our hands on you and we're going to can you.
03:26She's Banksy.
03:27Banksy?
03:31I'm intrigued.
03:33She is Banksy.
03:33If you find someone that's good at everything, man, you want them in your life.
03:38I know.
03:39This is the thing.
03:39Like, we don't know how old she is, how much time we have left.
03:43That's what people are hoping at someone's 90-year-old grandmother, but...
03:47I'm sure it is.
03:48She's nowhere online.
03:49No one can find her.
03:52But imagine if we tried this and it was just, eh, it's pretty good.
03:56It's pretty good.
03:57There's a lot of...
03:57A lot of buildup.
03:58There's a lot of hype, this lady.
04:00I mean, who's she up against?
04:01Yeah, I know.
04:02This is what I'm saying.
04:02They should have, like, a bake-off where they all, all the bakesies...
04:07Imagine showing.
04:07She went on one of those, like, uh, you know, chef shows, though, where they bring in the
04:13Iron Chef or whatever.
04:14And they, like, blur her face and, like, give her the monster voice.
04:17Yeah.
04:18Yeah.
04:20My recipes, I like to keep them secret.
04:23Even her wall hanging came in the top three.
04:26I'm telling you.
04:27Her Christmas decor.
04:28She got second and third.
04:30Is she, like, Virginia's Martha Stewart?
04:31Maybe she's the only one who entered.
04:33Oh, my God.
04:34Her cookies are one, two, and three.
04:36Her bread is one, two, and three.
04:38She might be the only one in this, Dave.
04:41Uh, Bear.
04:42Bear's in Livonia.
04:43Hi, Bear.
04:44How you doing?
04:45Good morning.
04:46Good morning.
04:47I've got a three-hundred lady.
04:49Your what?
04:49I don't think it's only one piece.
04:50I don't think that she's the only person who's making all this stuff.
04:53I think her friends, or people she knows, like, she entered all this stuff under her name.
04:58But it's, uh...
05:00Now you're calling it a fraud?
05:01Yeah.
05:02She's like...
05:02Yeah.
05:03Yeah, it's a fraud.
05:04Bacon fraud.
05:07Big conspiracy.
05:08Yeah.
05:10So you, uh, you think it's a bunch of people that have teamed together to put one person's
05:14name on it?
05:15Yeah.
05:16Why wouldn't she claim all this stuff otherwise?
05:20That's true.
05:21I don't, I don't know.
05:22It's hard to...
05:23That doesn't make sense.
05:24How's your baked goods, Bear?
05:27What?
05:27How are your baked goods?
05:30Pretty tasty.
05:31Yeah, I bet.
05:33Yeah, I bet.
05:33I bet.
05:33Yeah, all your goods are tasty.
05:34I bet.
05:35What, uh, what are you known for?
05:38Huh.
05:39Oh, I can't say.
05:40Oh, yeah.
05:41Yeah, yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43Yeah, Dave.
05:44All right, Bear.
05:45Thanks so much.
05:46Get a little bit of that action, Dave.
05:47But it doesn't make sense that one person can make all that stuff and also embroidery and
05:51all that handicrafts and stuff.
05:52Exactly.
05:53And that's the same thing and it disappears and nobody knows who she is.
05:56You can't, you know.
05:56Yeah, Bear took it real seriously.
05:58You can't do it all by herself.
05:59All right, Bear.
05:59It's impossible without a team of people to make a sauerkraut and do embroidery in the
06:04same day.
06:04It's been proved.
06:07Linda Skeens doesn't exist.
06:09She's a figment of your imagination.
06:11That's an absolute crock of crap.
06:13Someone could be number one in embroidery and also number one with bread and sauerkraut.
06:19Give me a break.
06:20You guys are idiots.
06:21I'm the wolf.
06:23That's what they call me.
06:26I win all the time.
06:28I've dominated Michigan and Ohio and also a little bit in Illinois.
06:34Then they call you the wolf?
06:35The wolf.
06:36That's what I go as.
06:37I don't give out my name just because of the hysteria it would cause.
06:41I don't need the social media blowing up.
06:44If I could taste one thing from the wolf, what would it be?
06:47My lady bit.
06:48No!
06:49That's right.
06:50You're a lady.
06:51Well, you ask.
06:53Hot and fresh.
06:54You ask.
06:55Tastes like a cake.
06:58What kind of cake?
07:00You're really interested, huh?
07:02I've heard that about you.
07:04You like them older.
07:06All right, the wolf.
07:07Well, have a nice day.
07:09Yeah, you too as well.
07:10Thanks for that.
07:10I hope they find her and I hope they kill her.
07:12All right.
07:13Bye.
07:13There's the wolf on the lines there.
07:16Calling BS on it.
07:17Yeah, that's an odd thing, you know?
07:22Stuff that we can get behind as Americans.
07:26Finding this woman and stealing her baked goods.
07:30Biggest thing is that she's probably being held hostage by other old bards.
07:33That's the only thing I can think of that makes sense.
07:36No.