MJTV: MJ Exposes Fester’s Box of Crap
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for Fester's Box of Crap.
00:07Alright, let's go.
00:07This box of needs.
00:09It's not, first of all, it's not crap.
00:11It's stuff I genuinely need.
00:13And I would prefer, I'll ask you guys one more time, as your friend, don't go through
00:18my box of crap.
00:19I've never heard this tone from Fester.
00:21Usually he's testy and loud.
00:22You're trying to really play on our sympathies.
00:24Alright, let me think about this.
00:25Ask me one more time.
00:27Maybe you shouldn't.
00:28Do not go through the box.
00:30Uh, no.
00:31Alright, so are we...
00:32That's that.
00:33Alright.
00:34Coop, are we rolling this on MJTV?
00:36We are.
00:37It's going to be up later on our website.
00:38Alright, MJTV, and every day we record certain segments and we make the video available.
00:44We have one, two...
00:48What do we have, four cameras in here?
00:48We have one camera focused on each member of the show.
00:51So, and then Coop's got a video switcher.
00:53So, folks, it's MJTV, which we rolled out, I don't know, a couple of weeks ago, like a
00:58soft launch.
00:59Uh, we're going to get really serious about MJTV.
01:02A little more me on camera, Coop.
01:03I want my MJTV.
01:07That extra syllable really works.
01:08You like that?
01:08It's smooth, isn't it?
01:10Alright, so Froggy found...
01:12Where was this?
01:13Was it like under the desk?
01:14It's like, yeah, it was like in his little area.
01:17I guess he reaches in there often to pick stuff out.
01:20I don't know why you don't just put it in a desk.
01:22I mean, it's weird.
01:23This is Fester's box of crap.
01:26It's in a copy machine, multi-purpose paper, letter-sized white, 92 brightness, 5,000 sheets
01:34box that copy machine paper comes in.
01:36It's a really durable box.
01:38Hang on a minute.
01:38Let me...
01:39Oh, my gosh.
01:41You're going to have to go through it, like, fast.
01:42Hang on a minute.
01:43I got to show this box to MJTV.
01:45Folks, this video is going to be available for you to watch later on on MJMorningShow.com.
01:49So, MJTV is on MJMorningShow.com.
01:53Alright.
01:54We're not going to have time to go through this whole box, but I need, like, another bin
02:00here to throw this stuff in.
02:01Did you bring that box in all in one box, or has stuff trickled into the box?
02:07Let's go through this.
02:08Yeah, you got to go through the randomness.
02:10Let's not go through this.
02:11I'm going to ask you one more time.
02:12Could you please not go through the box?
02:13Don't go through the box.
02:14I'm going through the box.
02:15Alright.
02:16First, item number one.
02:17Yes.
02:17A 500-piece puzzle?
02:24What the fuck?
02:25What?
02:26That's what you're doing when you leave the room.
02:27I enjoy puzzles.
02:28I enjoy puzzles.
02:29This is a little puzzle.
02:31It's a puzzle.
02:32If I ever find myself at the radio station with some time to kill.
02:34This is, wait a minute.
02:35It's from Puzzle Bug Hot Dogs and Burger Stand Puzzle.
02:39It is literally a picture of a hot dog and burger stand, like, at a carnival.
02:43And it's a puzzle.
02:45Yeah.
02:45Why do you have this?
02:47If I ever want to put a puzzle together, I have a puzzle.
02:50So whimsical.
02:51An unopened bag of Pennsylvania Penny Sticks mini pretzels.
02:56Those are really good.
02:57Those are really good.
02:57And I'm going to have those in a minute.
02:59You can enjoy them.
02:59This is the largest vitamin.
03:06This is the largest vitamin container I've ever seen.
03:09Take one every morning.
03:10What kind of vitamins?
03:11This is Centrum Silver Men 50 Plus.
03:15Dude, you're 40-something.
03:16Well, I'm closer to 50 than this.
03:19My age is in the 40s, but my actual body age is like 100.
03:23He's like a dog.
03:25400 tablets.
03:26See, that's funny.
03:27I take children's vitamins for the opposite reason.
03:28Oh, my God.
03:30What is in here?
03:31You've got to dig a little deeper there.
03:32Oh, my God.
03:33What is this?
03:35Okay, stop.
03:36Don't open that.
03:37What?
03:37Don't open that.
03:39Hang on a minute.
03:39I don't know what this is.
03:41This isn't a baggie.
03:42What is this?
03:42You're not opening it.
03:43I'm opening it.
03:44I'm just opening it.
03:46Oh, my God.
03:49Why are those in there?
03:50Why do you have boxer shorts?
03:52Are you afraid you're going to soil yourself at work so you have a spare pair of underwear?
03:56All right, dude, I'm not afraid of it, but it's a realistic possibility.
03:59Is that like mom saying, hey, make sure you have clean underwear on.
04:02You never know when you're going to be in an accident.
04:03Clean underwear on.
04:04Are those tighty-whities?
04:05Oh, my.
04:06No.
04:06They're boxer briefs.
04:07Look at these things.
04:08Oh, they're boxers.
04:09Guys, you never know when you need a clean pair of drawers.
04:12I could give this to the Boy Scouts.
04:13I could use this as a tent.
04:15For real.
04:16Look at that.
04:16God, why do you have underwear at work?
04:19You never know when you need clean drawers at work.
04:23You never know.
04:24Can I borrow that?
04:24We're fumigating the house this weekend.
04:26Oh, my God.
04:27What the hell else is in here?
04:28Please stop going through the box.
04:30Why do you...
04:30Go deep.
04:32There's a couple weapons in there.
04:33Paint measures.
04:34Yeah.
04:34What the hell is this?
04:36All right, that is the coolest thing I use that all the time.
04:39He's got a giant Himalayan...
04:42Rock salt?
04:43It's a pink salt grinder.
04:45Okay, hold on.
04:45That's pink salt, garlic powder, and red pepper flakes in one.
04:49It actually is amazing.
04:50The randomness is bewildering.
04:51Here's a speed stick deodorant.
04:54I bought that.
04:54That's good.
04:54I bought that.
04:55That makes sense.
04:56I got that.
04:56Dollar Tree.
04:57Clear mid-crest mouthwash.
04:59Yeah, occasionally.
05:00You still brush your teeth here?
05:02Yes.
05:02Oh, my God.
05:03I've got Little Greek Restaurant Sea Salt in here.
05:06What's up with the salt?
05:08The pink Himalayan one I bought, the other one I stole from Little Greek.
05:11I've got a box of Pop Weaver Extra Butter Popcorn.
05:15Of course it's extra butter.
05:17Well, the best of the kind.
05:18A lot of food related things.
05:20It's a box of needs.
05:21You get clogged up?
05:22I got packets of Betta Fiber.
05:24Well, after all that popcorn, you'll need it.
05:26You never know when you need it.
05:28It's a box of needs.
05:30And then you've got the underwear.
05:31Betta Fiber Fiber Drink Mix packets are in here.
05:34Yeah, the underwear is...
05:35It's all coming together now.
05:36Why do you need ace bandages?
05:39There's an ace bandage roll in here.
05:41What if I sprained my ankle here at work?
05:43We use that for the fall concert series.
05:44Folks, we're going through Fester's Bank.
05:46In six months, we've been back.
05:48This is what's in the office.
05:50You've got to go to the bottom layer.
05:51Go to the bottom.
05:52The smaller items are kind of entertaining.
05:55I got Winnie the Pooh honey in here.
05:57It's actually really good, honey.
05:58What is that?
05:58It was a track dance.
05:59That's really good, honey.
06:00Oh, my God.
06:01So much food.
06:02A little nubby screwdriver.
06:04Do you have a screwdriver?
06:07Yes, I have one.
06:08It's in my box of needs.
06:09Gold Bond chafing cream?
06:11What are you...
06:11Oh, God.
06:13It's a lot of friction.
06:14What are you, chafed down there?
06:16Are you applying this at work?
06:18We're learning a lot about you.
06:20Gold Bond chafing cream?
06:21Sometime during commercial breaks, you know I'm gone.
06:22What the hell?
06:25That's not even like...
06:26You haven't even put a dent in it.
06:27It'll take me...
06:28My kids have these when they were four years old.
06:31He's got go-go squeeze apple sauce packets in here.
06:35That's the strawberry flavor.
06:37That's the best.
06:38God.
06:38It is.
06:39He needs energy.
06:40The strawberry flavor is the best.
06:41It'll take me two days to go through this box.
06:44Is the buck knife still in there?
06:46I haven't even scratched the surface on this.
06:48I mean, a lot of this stuff is a knock.
06:50I think I have like...
06:51Do I have post-it notes in there still?
06:52MJ, you gotta display it all.
06:55Box cutter.
06:56Box cutter, very important.
06:58Lighter.
06:58Lighter.
06:58Colgate toothpaste.
06:59Right.
07:00A yarmulke?
07:01What is this?
07:02That is a...
07:03I don't know.
07:04That is not a yarmulke.
07:06That is for my coffee mug on the desk.
07:08I thought it was a loofah.
07:09All right.
07:09I gotta stop.
07:10You gotta take a picture.
07:11You gotta display it all out so everybody can see everything.
07:13There's a buck knife in here.
07:15Oh, my God.
07:16All right.
07:16We gotta take a break.
07:17All right.
07:18We're gonna lay all this out.
07:19We're gonna put a picture.
07:19Plus, the video's going up on MJTV on MJMorningShow.com.
07:23You don't need to do all this.
07:24Unbelievable.
07:25Bust open those pretzels.
07:26It's the end.