MJTV: Allow It To Fester
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FunTranscript
00:00Folks, I played this audio bite, this little drop, several times today.
00:05I was flipping through the channels yesterday.
00:06I was flipping through CNN and MSNBC, Fox News Channel,
00:10see what was going on in the news,
00:11and I landed on CNN just as Dana Bash, one of their anchors, said this.
00:18Allow it to fester.
00:19She said fester.
00:21Allow it to fester.
00:23We have fester.
00:25Her saying fester.
00:26With a degree of contempt.
00:28Fester.
00:29Fester.
00:30So, we now have fester.
00:33Whenever we need a drop that says fester.
00:35For instance, I could ask questions right now.
00:38Like, who drives the crappiest car on the show?
00:43Fester.
00:44That is correct.
00:46100% right.
00:47Let's see here.
00:48That's not true.
00:49Who wears the worst shirts that look like hideous throw rugs on the show?
00:54Fester.
00:55That's correct, Dana Bash.
00:56I got one.
00:57All right.
00:58Who's been stuttering a lot like Porky Pig on the show?
01:02Any ideas?
01:02Oh, wait, wait, wait.
01:03Fester.
01:04That's correct.
01:05That's completely false.
01:07Roxanne, would you...
01:08Who misses postage stamp stuff?
01:11Hold on, hold on, hold on.
01:12What was that?
01:14I have one.
01:14Who misses postage stamp size tufts of hair on the back of their neck when they're shaving?
01:18Ooh.
01:19Burn.
01:20Fester.
01:21Burn.
01:21Who's forehead is...
01:22By the way, these are very long questions.
01:24Yeah, these are really...
01:25All right.
01:25All of them are.
01:27Roxanne's are paragraphs.
01:28They're very detailed.
01:29Who's forehead is dotted with mothball-sized beads of sweat by 6.15 a.m.?
01:34Oh!
01:34Fester.
01:35Yes.
01:36All true.
01:37All true.
01:37Do you have any?
01:38Who has size D man breasts?
01:40Fester.
01:41That's disgusting.
01:42Who uses a tarp from Tropicana Field as a bath towel?
01:46Fester.
01:47Who has a worst case of dandruff in the room?
01:49Fester.
01:49Who's very hairy and very heavy?
01:52Who smells like a rotting manatee washed up on Picnic Island?
01:56Hey, she's not letting you get the questions out.
01:58Dana, I got a serious question.
02:00Yes.
02:01Who smells like a rotting dead manatee washed up on Picnic Island?
02:05Fester.
02:06That was a long question.
02:08I mean, all of them are true.
02:10I mean, I can do it in this voice.
02:11I'm trying to figure out which one of you guys are liars, but none of you so far.
02:15Do you have any more novel-like questions, Roxanne?
02:18Who's legs are disproportionately thin compared to the rest of their bod?
02:22Fester.
02:22There you go.
02:23But that's a trick question because mine are kind of thin, too.
02:25You do have weird legs.
02:26I do have weird legs.
02:27Coop, do you want to jump in on this?
02:29Who has the most back hair?
02:31Fester.
02:32Good one, Coop.
02:33Not bad, Coop.
02:33Who gets out of breath from just sitting down?
02:36Fester.
02:37Who produces his own ecosystem of sweat?
02:40Fester.
02:40That's good.
02:42Wow.
02:43I think Coops are the best.
02:44Coop?
02:45I know.
02:46I've got the smart-ass producer here coming at me.
02:48Who's going to be doing Instacart soon?
02:50Fester.
02:52Who's going to kick Coop's ass after this segment?
02:55Fester.
02:55There you go.
02:57Are you done?
02:58Are you out?
02:59I'm good.
02:59I'm good.
03:00You're out.
03:01Hey, Dana Bash on CNN, thank you for the...
03:04Fester.
03:05Look.